It is going to take weeks to unpack all of this New Yorker-length Vanity Fair article “Portrait Of Obama As A Pretentious Young Man,” but we at Your Wonkette know your carnal and emotional needs, and that is to have regular updates on this, the greatest magazine journalism of its generation. Up now!
She remembered how on Sundays Obama would lounge around, drinking coffee and solving the New York Times crossword puzzle, bare-chested, wearing a blue and white sarong. His bedroom was closest to the front door, offering a sense of privacy and coziness. Genevieve described it in her journal this way: “I open the door, that Barack keeps closed, to his room, and enter into a warm, private space pervaded by a mixture of smells that so strongly speak of his presence, his liveliness, his habits—running sweat, Brut spray deodorant, smoking, eating raisins, sleeping, breathing.”
Shirtless, blue and white sarong, and Brut. This has been your Obama Vanity Fair nooner update. [VanityFair]
{ 134 comments }
I preferred "Hai Karate" myself.
Do they even make that anymore or did it go the way of the dodo and cocaine spoon neck chains?
I don't know, but you could still smell the Paco Rabanne for an hour after my son left the house this morning.
Is his name, ah, Eugene?
I've got plans and they don't include you, tonite!!
Count your blessings…it could have been Axe Body Spray….
EPA regulations put it out of business in the 1980s
Back in the day it was "Jade East" or "Russian Leather."
Today, "Havana." Thankfully, JHL started making it again.
What, no love for English Leather?
That, and Old Spice were my go-to's.
Back then, I was a Jovan Musk man, myself. I sort of see him wearing that more than Brut. It's a smoover fragrance.
(today, Van Cleef and Arpels for Men, cuz I like smelling like fruit salad)
Brut is hard to find nowadays. I had to switch to Axe like a 13-year-old.
Fuck. The wingers are going to have a spontaneous orgasm of hate hurling this at him. Drudge probably already has the siren going.
I think the drudge siren has been stuck on "Black Alert" since about 2008.
Blaring the siren. I don't believe I've ever heard that euphemism before.
Sludge will change it to Opium.
Yeah, but unlike a Republican, you know he had enough sense to not put it on his boys.
Surong=socialism.
Less dumb hat, moar sarong.
I bet he did the NYT crossword with indelible ink. Tough mofo.
Obama, Barack Obama.
Osama is dead, GM is alive and… oh, I hope you don't mind that I did your New York Times crossword puzzle while you were in there changing.
I usually do the crossword puzzle in ink.
OK I start doing the crossword puzzle but seldom finish it. Which is why Obama is President and, uh, I'm not.
Fuck my life.
Pshaw! London Times crossword or GTFO!
Hey Barbie, you're going to need special shoes for your curly toes by the end of the day.
I also don't think we're going to hear from Lizzy much today.
And the sound of the wonketeers fapping could be heard across the globe.
OLD SPICE LIBEL!
If it was good enough for my awesome grandpa, it was good enough for me god dammit! (at age 13)
I was hoping for Sex Panther, by Odeon.
It smells like Bigfoot's dick….
Probably illegal in NY. Fifty percent of the time, it works one hundred percent of the time.
I’m starting to feel the emotional needs of this blogs male readership are being under-valued.
TITS OR GTFO!
The balance between swoon-inducing Obama items and stories involving Meg's dirty pillows (or, really, any dirty pillows) seems off.
(and yes, adjust the above sentiment for our more sugary guys or more flannel-y gals)
Seriously, can't Dennis Kucinich trot out his gal for us one more time?
Once again. I miss Huntsman's daughters.
Sexist.
As a straight male, I clearly don't get as much out of this as the ladyfolk around here, but there's still a tingling.
Let's face it, of the guy Wonketteers who aren't already, half of us would totally go gay for Barry.
you'all have had a nice run for a long time now.
let us have a lil fun.
Genevieve? That sounds suspiciously French.
“That sounds suspiciously French.”
Great pick-up line. Try it.
Wait! Wait! Slow down….
"-spish-uslee….French!"
OK, any others?
Nice try, but she's Aussie.
What!? No Axe Anarchy?
Raisin-breath and spray deo-deo are harshing my fantasy buzz, I must say.
Was hoping for a live blog
French President Nicolas Sarkozy is preparing to meet his Socialist challenger, Francois Hollande, in their only debate of the election campaign.
Except I don't understand French and have no idea what time this is.
The two men will meet in a TV studio at 21:00 (19:00 GMT) for the debate
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-17921348
So like 112 years ago?
2PM, EDT, unless its a day ending in Y
Somebody get Lisa Wines on this!
Okay, yes, that was my motive………….
Michelle is going to cut a bitch.
"Genevieve, darling, you are no match for me and my Enjoli."
I think Genevieve'll be OK, because of this:
Clearly, an insightful woman.
An insecure one, too, apparently, from reading the excerpts from the diary. What I can't get over is that she seemed to convince herself from the beginning that if the relationship didn't work, it was because of some idealized black woman she imagined Barack wanting. It was self-sabotage from the get-go. And she talks about his aloofness. lol
Meh, we all have our insecurities. He basically said of himself during that time of his life most of what she said of him. And in the end they each appeared to blame themselves, or perhaps take the credit, for ending the relationship.
The part about the footrace seemed like good fodder for the therapist's couch, though.
The profile that dampened a million panties
Eating raisins, eating, sleeping?
Elitist Socialist Pig!
Again, Goddamn.
Gotta recharge them batteries?
You know who else ate raisins, slept, and breathed?
I hope it wasn't skullfuckingdog.
Stop judging me!!!
Carol Burnett?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fresno_%28TV_miniser…
The Jeffrey Dahmer California Raisin?
Saul Alinsky?
Lorraine Collett Petersen?
The Sultanas of swing.
You know, I think we reverse-Poe's-lawed the right.
Was catching up with TP this morning and read the right's reaction to Obama's new campaign slogan, "Forward", has near-universally been: "You know who else said 'Forward'?"
The people who came up with the Wisconsin state motto?
count de money?
Don Juan, both vanilla and De Marco varieties?
aotk
Eloise's turtle?
Me at a tender, young age? I thought the California raisins were cool as a child; so sue me.
Bathe him and bring him to me!
Go to my room!
Paramedics are on their way to Benincasa's house now, just as a precaution.
She was found splayed out on the couch, fanning herself with an issue of the New Yorker that was handy, and muttering "it's OK, I just got a little dizzy, that's all."
"You can all go now, and I do mean, NOW."
Is Vanity Fair actually suggesting that the Kenyan Anti-Colonial Marxist Socialist Maoist Secret Muslim was a typical college student and not spending all night in Bill Ayers' basement building suicide belts? Because I, for one, find that very hard to believe.
"running sweat, Brut spray deodorant, smoking, eating raisins, sleeping, breathing.”
Bullshit, his room smelled like sex and you know it. Okay, brut, raisins and sex. And sandalwood. My imagination is adding a hint of sandalwood.
After this, I think the only thing that could make the straight ladies' panties any wetter would be an excerpt describing how young Barack was a skilled and enthusiastic cunning linguist.
Speak to me, Barry.
It's been said that community organizing was the thing that young Barack did second best.
What — no cello resting in the corner next to a music stand? No smell of freshly-rising bread dough ready for the oven? No hand-tinted lithograph of his own making on the wall? Poseur. And no, I'm not jealous.
Yeah I was waiting for details about the hours he puts in volunteering for the latest homeless-kittycat shelter; teaching disadvantaged youth how to string a guitar and score a serenade; and the offbeat Goodwill Hunting-like "wanna chew some caramels" knockoff, per Whittier: "I just brewed a fresh batch of soma, here have a taste.."
I guess I'll have to read the whole thing and find out how completely awesome our prez is — in my lushly-appointed abode with its waftings of cat litter deodorizer, dishes that need washing, and a certain vague mustiness while wearing my shirt with the missing button and sipping my Domino pinot grigio (on sale for ten bucks for the 1.5 L bottle). So in many ways our lives are quite the same.
(on sale for ten bucks
I'm *still* waiting to discover the six-pack of (no doubt flavorless) beer marked "$6.66" to enjoy with some nicely sautéed Seitan.
This, of course, is in stark contrast to Mitt Romney's presence mainly consisting of aqua-velva, new currency, and unwashed
unholy underwear.Im smelling a hint of santorum. It was college and he was experimenting.
As long as its not coffee or booze, I think santorum is acceptable to moroni.
Mitt Wit's room smelled of ass, loneliness, Aqua Velva, and eating Jell-o. Mormons love the Jell-o.
And flip flops.
I said almost the same thing, but I like yours better (especially desperation….Mittens fucking reeks of it).
This is the second time I've been beaten to the snark. I'm getting slow (in the good way, am I right ladies?) in my old age.
whatever ms. 127p. My home is page 2 of wonkette posts where it reeks of espresso, arm-pit, and nachos.
Whatever ms/mr 109p…
I wish I could make it to page 2, I'd love to smell the desperation/ass. Heysuess Christo could announce his 2nd coming on page 3 of the Wonkette comments and nobody would notice.
But mostly ass.
Sorry but this guy is too cool to be our Prez based on some of the dweebs we've been having.
Oh he's fine for US, Rooster, it's THEM he's way too good for. And they know it.
I stand corrected… perhaps THEY should leave.
(I know… DREAMIN' BIG!)
Brutha be Habana pimpin'
"I think it's a great article–very, very sexy!" said Ted Nugent when asked for his thoughts on the article by Far-Right and Gay, a far-right gay magazine based out of the Fox News Building in New York City. "In fact, when I read this article, I wanted very much to have Biblical knowing relations with our president. I've always wanted that."
Blue and white sarong or terrorist lady dress? You decide.
We're a lot alike!
"Brut spray deodorant"
That was my shit in the 80's! I wonder if I'M secretly from Kenya now.
Marxist!
I will create a shrine for the Brut Stick which has served me faithfully for these past three decades, employed only for funerals and the annual Christmas party my wife hosts for my 30+in-laws.
Mr. MozakiBlocks is so going to get lucky later…
'Eating raisins' sounds so innocent when they leave out the detail of Barack's pet rabbit 'Dr Marx'.
Dog meat grillin on the barbie……….
Obama is the kind of guy I'd like to eat raisins with.
He'd give you a raisin for living.
Off what part of him.
Dear Penthouse,
You'll never believe what happened to me today. I had just gotten back from a run and was relaxing in my sarong, doing the NYT crossword puzzle and eating some raisins when this hot, french girl opened my door and . . .
Don't know how Vanity Fair failed to mention Obama's thug life past:
Pakistan? India? That's some old school thuggery right there!
The original and still the greatest thuggeery.
You would have never found any of the components of this mixture of smells in Mitt Romney's college residence — especially "breathing".
And that's because you can't find a maid or butler than can breath for you.
I marvel at our Editrix's ability to type with one hand.
Grasshopper – it is the sound of one hand fapping.
I never expected it to be more of a "slish" sound…
She wears whore shoes so she can type with the heels, Guppy.
Sounds like someone isn't over their first crush.
If only Obama were mouth-breathing, the teabaggers might be able to relate to the guy.
Ann remembered how on Sundays Mitt would lounge around, with the top button on his temple garment unbuttoned drinking an unflavored mixture of electrolytes and WD-40 and reading the Family Circus. His
maintenance baybedroom was closest to the front door, allowing him to quickly engage his weapons systems if the Jehovah's Witnesses ever called."I open the door, that Mitt keeps closed, to his
maintenance bay, and it opens with a sliding noise like those doors in Star Trek and enter into a closeted, private space pervaded by a mixture of smells that so strongly speak of his presence, his robotic nature, his habits, or perhaps a better term would be programming–machine oil, ozone, WD-40 and lube, lots and lots of lube."I sometimes indulge in a fantasy that hopey reads teh wonkette, and gets an enormous kick out of all the lustful attention directed in toward his presidential self.
Either that or we're all on a watch list because of the level of stalker lust.
Shit! I'm straight AND older than dirt and I'm chubbing up!
there is an old Asian saying: "It's not the sarong which is important, it's what inside the sarong."
Let me just ask, could this girl be any more dramatic in her writing? I'm so glad I never went the whole emo route. The only thing I've been able to get from the writing is how much it reads like an SNL skit on the perils of pretension, all of this pysch study and not letting the relationship be what it wants to be, but overthinking it the entire time. Barry, it wasn't you; it was her.
I smell a revolution man. well I'm down with page3++ers .
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