Actual photograph of Edward ConardOne of the nice young men who does the Planet Money podcast on the NPR somehow lured Edward Conard, who you might remember as the guy who created a shell corporation that existed only to donate $1 million to Mitt Romney’s SuperPAC, out to a plebeian coffee shop to talk about rich people. As a rich person-American, Edward Conard is very upset — more disappointed than angry, really — at some of the rhetoric coming from the poors, who don’t understand that rich people getting richer is good for everyone. He talked at great length, at this coffee shop meeting! Then our NPR gotcha journalist wrote it all up over six pages, each of which you will click on to generate rage-ad-pageviews for the New York Times, you jealous little liberal.

What does Conard blame the 2008 financial collapse on? It was your fault, because you wanted the money you had deposited in the bank back.

The financial crisis, he writes, was not the result of corrupt bankers selling dodgy financial products. It was a simple, old-fashioned run on the banks, whom, he says, were just doing their job. There are a huge number of people in our economy who want ready access to their savings — pension-fund managers, insurance companies and you and me with our bank accounts. And because economic growth comes from long-term investments in things like housing, factories and research, the central role of banks, Conard says, is to turn the short-term assets of nervous savers into risky long-term loans that help the economy grow.

Every once in a while, this system breaks down. For one reason or another, the savers panic and demand all their money back. This causes a massive problem because the money isn’t sitting at the bank; it’s out in the world in the form of long-term loans. “A lot of people don’t realize that what happened in 2008 was nearly identical to what happened in 1929,” he says. “Depositors ran to the bank to withdraw their money only to discover, like the citizens of Bedford Falls” — referring to the movie “It’s a Wonderful Life” — “that there was no money in the vault. All that money had been lent.”

Yes, you see, the banks were simply terribly, terribly over-leveraged! Surely they can’t be blamed for that, can they? And here’s an area where big government can help!

Conard concedes that the banks made some mistakes, but the important thing now, he says, is to provide them even stronger government support. He advocates creating a new government program that guarantees to bail out the banks if they ever face another run.

Sure, yes, banks should never suffer any consequences for their actions but also shouldn’t be subject to regulations of any kind, makes sense. But this doesn’t answer the real question, which is: why should capital gains taxes be eliminated?

Society benefits if the successful risk takers get a lot of money. For proof, he looks to the market. At a nearby table we saw three young people with plaid shirts and floppy hair. For all we know, they may have been plotting the next generation’s Twitter, but Conard felt sure they were merely lounging on the sidelines. “What are they doing, sitting here, having a coffee at 2:30?” he asked. “I’m sure those guys are college-educated.” Conard, who occasionally flashed a mean streak during our talks, started calling the group “art-history majors,” his derisive term for pretty much anyone who was lucky enough to be born with the talent and opportunity to join the risk-taking, innovation-hunting mechanism but who chose instead a less competitive life.

Oh, god, filthy hippies! The bane of human existence! What can possibly get rid of them? The elimination of capital gains taxes? YES. (Also, lawyers.)

In Conard’s mind, this includes, surprisingly, people like lawyers, who opt for stable professions that don’t maximize their wealth-creating potential. He said the only way to persuade these “art-history majors” to join the fiercely competitive economic mechanism is to tempt them with extraordinary payoffs.

It’s just … look, we need as many of these flop-hairs in the game as possible, right? Your typical art history major loves hanging out in coffee shops, rapping about abstract expressionism or whatever. He knows that if he decided to get a job working long hours at a hedge fund like Edward Conard did, he could only make millions and millions of dollars and retire at the age of 50 into a life of total ease and comfort. That doesn’t attract him. But what if we tilted the playing field just a little bit and instead made it possible for him to earn millions and millions and millions of dollars? What then? C’mon, hippie, we’re losing to the Chinese, what will it take?

Anyway, obviously this is going to be Mitt’s Secretary of the Treasury, but here’s the important question for you: Don’t rich people generally have PR flacks who prevent them from talking to the liberal media and saying the exact word-sequences that will most enrage the liberal media’s liberal readers? Discuss. [NYT]

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  • nounverb911

    If everyone just borrowed 20 million from their parents to start a business, we wouldn't be in these troubling times.

    • Yesterday it was $300K for 5 grandbabies, now $100M??? Sweet Jebus the inflation is going nutso.

      PS the helicopters and drones are flying over our office. This must be so SPD can help their mothers get good seats to enjoy the May Day Parade.

      • Callyson

        $300K is not very much money–just ask Mittens.

  • nounverb911

    Today we are all Mr. Potter.

  • So we need to employ more… job creators?

    • nounverb911

      In China?

    • horsedreamer_1

      It's a chicken-egg scenario.

  • Hipsters only invest in Apple, American Apparel and PBR.

  • Delusions light the corners of his mind
    Misty excuse-making delusions of the way it was

    Blaming people for CDOs that went in flames
    Excuses we gave to one another for the way it was.

    Can it be that it was all so simple then
    Or has he rewritten every line
    If we had the chance to do it all again, tell me, would we, could we? (FUCK YEAH)

    Delusions may be anger making and yet
    What's too real to remember we simply choose to deny
    So it's the excuses we will remember
    Whenever we remember the way it was.

    The way it was.

  • MrFizzy

    I'm investing in one of those S+M mouth balls for Romney.

  • ttommyunger

    "…all that money had been lent.” Sure, if by "lent" you mean tied up and pissed away in ponzi-like gambling schemes. Investment Banks found out they can make more money leveraging bets than in measly interest income from loans. Naturally, this gambling does nothing to create jobs or grow the economy…

  • hagajim

    Rich asshole is full of ass…and hole. The last time I checked we weren't all running to the bank to pull our monies out in Sept, 2008 when shit hit the fan…fuckwad is full of shit and my boots are already overloaded.

    • Right. One might suspect that the profound lack of anything resembling a bank run during the financial crisis (at least, except when people started divesting for credit unions in protest, three years later) would have called this guy's hypothesis into question.

  • gullywompr

    Clarence wept.

  • Tengu

    But Terry Gross kicked him in the balls, right?

    • Jus_Wonderin

      I'd pay money to see that (if I could get it out of the bank).

  • MaxNeanderthal

    What makes me 100% certain this guy is, how shall we say, "vertically challenged" (short little ugly fucker)….

    • elviouslyqueer

      And has an infinitesimally small penis that you couldn't locate with an electron microscope.

  • Wile E. Quixote

    Here's my business idea. Kidnapping job creators like Edward Conard and parting them out for their organs. Seriously, if you needed a kidney transplant what would you rather have, a kidney from some anonymous loser of a Chinese political prisoner or a high-quality kidney from a high-powered job creator like Edward Conard. Why have some anemic loser organ when you could instead have one of Edward Conard's job creating organs instead?

    • sullivanst

      I'll take the kidney that hasn't been wrecked by years of alcoholism and cocaine abuse, thanks.

      • Boojum

        Yet more incentive!

      • Wile E. Quixote

        You say that kidney's been wrecked by years of alcoholism and cocaine abuse, I say that kidney has been battle tested by a job creator. Sure, go ahead and take your fair-trade, cruelty-free, loser kidney from an anonymous member of the 99 percent. I'm going to take the winner's kidney!

  • SmutBoffin

    To business school creepos, (ahem) I mean risk-taking, job creating alpha-humans, "innovation" means coming up with a new type of quasilegal financial scam.

  • Further endearing himself as Mitt's front-runner for Treasury Sec, Conard added that his personal success is living proof that money does grow on trees; just not on yours, or yours either, since those aren't the right height.

  • HobbesEvilTwin

    The 2008 margin calls "cause[d] a massive problem because the money [wasn't] sitting at the bank or anywhere other than the coke-fueled brains of some Wall Street fucktards with very tiny penises.


  • elfgoldsackring

    "Your money isn't in the bank. It's in Jim's house. Well, maybe not his house exactly. More like a share of a tranche of mortgage equities in a German pension fund that may or may not include an interest in Jim's house. Look, it's complicated, hippies, just trust me, OK?"

    • Jus_Wonderin

      And then…we danced by the light of the moon.

  • mormos

    "to turn the short-term assets of nervous savers into risky long-term loans"

    what happens when those risks don't pan out Mr. Conard?
    or better yet

    • SmutBoffin

      There's that art history degree talkin' for ya, again.

    • WhatTheHeck

      Did you forget for a minute why you were born?

    • what happens when those risks don't pan out Mr. Conard?

      Easy: the government underwrites the risk, so there's no private downside to risk-taking. The taxpayer pays when the risk doesn't pan out, not our "job creators":

      Conard concedes that the banks made some mistakes, but the important thing now, he says, is to provide them even stronger government support. He advocates creating a new government program that guarantees to bail out the banks if they ever face another run.

      Reap the rewards, let the loser peon taxpayers pay for the downside. I think this sort of business acumen tells you everything you might need to know about how Bain Capital operated, whatever Rmoney's protestations to the contrary.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Banksy needs to do a new mural using this guy as his blank wall.

    • sullivanst

      In order to ensure a good painting surface, he should first have an encounter with k-k-Ken.

  • SayItWithWookies

    This asshole is allegedly an expert on the economy — and we continue to wonder why it's forever on the brink of collapse. What a conard.

  • iburl

    "It was just like 1929"
    Except for the ensuing financial regulations, throngs of suicidal bankers and our modern computerized credit default swaps that make what should have been ledge-jumpers into multi-millionaires.

    • elgin_pelican

      "It was just like 1929"
      Not yet, but they're working on it, thank god. And not the funny underwear one.

  • I would write something snarky, but I kind of just want to punch this nitwit in his mouth-hole.

  • bumfug

    Funny how when the company you work for goes out of business and now you don't have anything but a $300 unemployment check that the job creators want to cut short, funny how that makes you want the bank to give you your money so you can pay your bills. Pardon the fuck out of me!

  • pinkocommi

    It's distressing not that I find this interview hard to masturbate to, but that there are some who don't.

  • BarackMyWorld

    I love how this guy's Bedford Falls theory on the economic collapse depends on circumstances that could only have happened if the FDIC had never been born.

  • metamarcisf

    Headline of the day (Daily Caller):

    "Marie Osmond: 'I'd rather have food poisoning than endorse Obama or Romney'"

    • James Michael Curley

      Marie Osmond as in Donny and Marie as in Mormons?

    • Negropolis

      Well, at least she stuck Romney in there.

  • CrunchyKnee

    Hey Conard, that and $10 will get me a couple of cans of Hobo Beans for dinner and a dirty sock to stuff in your stupid pie hole.

  • Wile E. Quixote

    In Conard’s mind, this includes, surprisingly, people like lawyers, who opt for stable professions that don’t maximize their wealth-creating potential. He said the only way to persuade these “art-history majors” to join the fiercely competitive economic mechanism is to tempt them with extraordinary payoffs.

    Psssst, hey art-history majors. See this guy, Edward Conard? If you killed him you could steal all of his money and there would be an extraordinary payoff. C'mon take some risks you guys.

  • In Connie's (I'm guessing that's his preppy nickname) version of “It’s a Wonderful Life” whenever a depositor withdraws a dolllar from a bank an art history major loses his job.

    • sullivanst

      Thus creating jobs, the only way they know how: negatively.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    Ew, when I read that…it hurt me. BTW: I was an art teacher. Now I work in software games. Some people actually choose the lives that give them peace and contentment. Some people are only happy when they can screw their fellow humans.

    • Negropolis

      And, those people are not fit for society, if you ask me. And, yet, we lock up the drug dealers by the hundreds every day. These "titans" are a meance to society on a level pushermen can never be.

  • sullivanst

    This guy's a first rate moron, a fucking liar, or both.

    Basically nothing he said is true. For example, the two big bank failures which precipitated the crisis could not possibly have been caused by a classic Wonderful Life-style run, because Bear Stearns and Lehman Brothers were both what are known as non-depository institutions. Regular folk did not have their savings in either bank, fat cat goatfuckers like Conrad had their twenty-fourth or twenty-fifth million stashed away there. Also, while Bear's demise was a result of illiquidity, Lehman were flat-out fucking broke, their liabilities exceeded their assets, and no amount of patiently waiting for loans to mature before cashing out could have altered that.

    BTW, is this guy in any way connected to (specifically, by being the same person as) the Ed Conrad who thinks he found 280-million year old human skulls in his back yard and this means God created man because science!? [Edit: no he isn't, my brain just autocorrected the dumbass way this moron spells his name :P]

  • MissTaken

    Um, Edward, wrong answer. Most hedge funds froze up redemption payments to their investors during the fall and winter of 2008. Yes, people wanted their cash back when they realized that douchenozzles like you were managing it with the same amount of care I give toilet paper that has just wiped my ass. If you chose not to pay the people their money back when they asked for it, how did that cause a run on the banks?

    • Doktor StrangeZoom

      Also, it was OTHER GODDAMN BANKS that wanted their money back, not individual depositors.

      • Negropolis


        The shamelessness of painting grandmas running on the bank as the cause of this mess. The fucking shame of it all.

    • SorosBot

      "douchenozzles like you were managing it with the same amount of care I give toilet paper that has just wiped my ass"

      That's just awesome. And it's sexy when you talk shop.

    • Because SHUT UP, THAT'S WHY.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    In Conard’s mind, this includes, surprisingly, people like lawyers, who opt for stable professions that don’t maximize their wealth-creating potential.

    I can speak from experience that most lawyers are smelly hippies that have no thoughts about money. If only a few lawyers thought more about the money they make, what a better world this would be.

    • Boojum

      See, what is funnier is that the exception to what he said are trial lawyers, who make money on contingent fees. HUGE risk, with commensurate payout, but does he consider us honorable members of the capitalist system? One guess.

      • sullivanst

        Well, he has a point there, because John Edwards.

        (sorry, when you've recovered from that low blow, I'll buy you a drink)

  • Wile E. Quixote

    Society benefits if the successful risk takers get a lot of money.

    Yeah, too bad that society is getting fucked over by assholes like Conard, Mittens, Angelo Mozilo, Kerry Killinger, Lloyd Blankfein, John Corzine, etc, etc, etc, who get a lot of money for taking risks with other people's money.

    • elgin_pelican

      They can risk all they want with THEIR OWN FUCKIN' MONEY. Then it's actual risk.

  • SheriffJoeBiden

    What this guy and so many other "smart fiscal conservatives" like him fail to realize is that WE UNDERSTAND THIS. We get that investment is good. We know that you need to give people the opportunity to make a ton of money off a good idea. WE KNOW! Really. We know. We just don't agree that slightly raising taxes on fabulously rich people, in order to pay for stuff the country desperately needs, amounts to a total evisceration of these principles. Because we're not completely friggin insane. Maybe.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      Can I have a bridge that I can be confident might not collaspe after I pick the kids up from daycare and drive home for dinner?

      • SheriffJoeBiden

        Don't ask me, I'm only Joe Biden.

  • Boojum

    See, people who have money are given the incentive to work harder if they can make gobs of more money with no more effort, through tax cuts.

    People who have no money are robbed of all incentive if they are provided a minimum subsistence income, through social programs.

    This is what the Right calls Economic Theory.

  • RavenRant

    On a happier note, Stephen King is demanding to be taxed more. And cussing.

  • Today, of all days, my godamn pitchfork is at the sharpeners.

    • tessiee

      I *know*, right?
      And my torch is in the shop being… uh… re-torched.

  • Sir_Fartz_Alot

    Ritchie Rich and Scrooge McDuck were occupado. The Canard was was the only one left

  • OT, but Long Dong Levi Johnston, along with his wife-to-be, have chosen a name for their little bun in the oven. It's a girl, and they are naming her Breeze Baretta Johnston, thus proving that Levi is at least half as crazy as the Palins, and his baby momma, too.

    I thought it was important to bring up.

    • Generation[redacted]

      Baretta? And if it's a boy, Glock?

      • SexySmurf

        The gun is spelled Beretta, so your comment would only make sense if Levi was an uneducated moron…oh wait, never mind, you're probably right.

        • sullivanst

          In other words, if it's a boy, Glack.

        • Generation[redacted]

          That's all I could've reasonably be expected to do.

        • __kth__

          The first name may similarly allude to the New Orleans Saints QB.

    • SexySmurf

      How nice, he named her after his favorite TV detective. What did Bill Cosby say about black people giving their kids stupid names? Well, I'm saying the same thing about white trash.

      • What's your middle name, Sexy?

        • SexySmurf

          Danger. As in, Danger is my middle name.

  • Nostrildamus

    We've found our VP candidate!

  • All profit should be the property of private corporations.

    All risk should be borne by the government.

    How could that be a problem for anyone?

  • Blueb4sunrise

    First relative clause too long…did not read.

  • Doktor StrangeZoom

    You could not get into heaven until you had submitted to a full review of how well you had handled the business opportunities God, through His angels, had offered to you on Earth.

    All day long and in every cubicle you could hear the experts saying with utmost weariness to people who had missed this opportunity and then that one: "And there you were, asleep at the switch again."

    "Asleep at the Switch" was quite a sacrilegious story. The hero was the ghost of Albert Einstein. He himself was so little interested in wealth that he scarcely heard what his auditor had to say to him. It was some sort of balderdash about how he could have become a billionaire, if only he had gotten a second mortgage on his house in Bern, Switzerland, in Nineteen-hundred and Five, and invested the money in known uranium deposits before telling the world that E=Mc2.

    "But there you were – asleep at the switch again," said the auditor.

    "Yes," said Einstein politely, "it does seem rather typical."

    "So you see," said the auditor, "life really was quite fair. You did have a remarkable number of opportunities, whether you took them or not."

    "Yes, I see that now," said Einstein.

    "Would you mind saying that in so many words?" said the auditor.

    "Saying what?" said Einstein.

    "That life was fair."

    "Life was fair," said Einstein.

    "If you don't really mean it," said the auditor, "I have many more examples to show you. For instance, just forgetting atomic energy: If you had simply taken the money you put into a savings bank when you were at the Institute for Advanced Studies at Princeton, and you had put it, starting in Nineteen-hundred and Fifty, say, into IBM and Polaroid and Xerox – even though you had only five more years to live – " The auditor raised his eyes suggestively, inviting Einstein to show how smart he could be.

    "I would have been rich?" said Einstein.

    " 'Comfortable,' shall we say?" said the auditor smugly. "But there you were again – " And again his eyebrows went up.

    "Asleep at the switch?" asked Einstein hopefully.

    The auditor stood and extended his hand, which Einstein accepted unenthusiastically. "So you see, Doctor Einstein," he said, "we can't blame God for everything, now can we?" He handed Einstein his pass through the Pearly Gates. "Good to have you aboard," he said.

    So into heaven Einstein went, carrying his beloved fiddle. He thought no more about the audit. He was a veteran of countless border crossings by then. There had always been senseless questions to answer, empty promises to make, meaningless documents to sign.

    But once inside heaven Einstein encountered ghost after ghost who was sick about what his or her audit had shown. One husband and wife team, which had committed suicide after losing everything in a chicken farm in New Hampshire, had been told that they had been living the whole time over the largest deposit of nickel in the world.

    (Continued below)

    • Doktor StrangeZoom

      A fourteen-year-old Harlem child who had been killed in a gang fight was told about a two-carat diamond ring that lay for weeks at the bottom of a catch basin he passed every day. It was flawless and had not been reported as stolen. If he had sold it for only a tenth of its value, four hundred dollars, say, according to his auditor, and speculated in commodities futures, especially in cocoa at that time, he could have moved his mother and sisters and himself into a Park Avenue condominium and sent himself to Andover and then to Harvard after that.

      There was Harvard again.

      All the auditing stories that Einstein heard were told by Americans. He had chosen to settle in the American part of heaven. Understandably, he had mixed feelings about Europeans, since he was a Jew. But it wasn't only Americans who were being audited. Pakistanis and pygmies from the Philippines and even communists had to go through the very same thing.

      It was in character for Einstein to be offended first by the mathematics of the system the auditors wanted everybody to be so grateful for. He calculated that if every person on Earth took full advantage of every opportunity, became a millionaire and then a billionaire and so on, the paper wealth on that one little planet would exceed the worth of all the minerals in the universe in a matter of three months or so. Also: There would be nobody left to do any useful work.

      So he sent God a note. It assumed that God had no idea what sorts of rubbish His auditors were talking. It accused the auditors rather than God of cruelly deceiving new arrivals about the opportunities they had had on Earth. He tried to guess the auditors' motives. He wondered if they might not be sadists.

      The story ended abruptly. Einstein did not get to see God. But God sent out an archangel who was boiling mad. He told Einstein that if he continued to destroy ghosts' respect for the audits, he was going to take Einstein's fiddle away from him for all eternity. So Einstein never discussed the audits with anybody ever again. His fiddle meant more to him than anything.

      The story was certainly a slam at God, suggesting that He was capable of using a cheap subterfuge like the audits to get out of being blamed for how hard economic life was down here.

      Kurt Vonnegut, Jailbird

      • sullivanst

        So to sum up, if I may: Conard's full of shit, the end.

        • Doktor StrangeZoom

          Or rather, Kilgore Trout refuted his basic premise in 1979.

          Prefuted, perhaps?

          • sullivanst

            Also, he's exhibiting the exact kind of thinking that Paul Krugman warned is why being a successful private-sector executive should be considered a black mark against those seeking political office: business people usually abjectly fail to understand that a national economy is close to a zero-sum game, and their "success" at wealth and/or job "creation" is in reality mostly (or entirely, in the case of extractionists like Bain) at someone else's expense.

  • littlebigdaddy

    Hipsters are hard enough to stomach as they are. Oh yes, your trucker hat and Elvis Costello glasses are *so* ironic. Imagine them with wads of cash to boot.

  • Generation[redacted]

    Didn't Old Man Potter steal the money? And if that George Bailey had never been born, never stuck up for the common working man just trying to get a few decent rooms and a bath, we'd all be living in a slum called Potter's Field.

    (raises glass) To my big brother Barry, the richest man in town!

  • SorosBot

    "people like lawyers, who opt for stable professions"

    Law, a stable profession? Oh hahahaha. And Conrad, speaking as a laid-off unemployed lawyer, fuck you.

    • orygoon

      I could have told you that the art-history-law specialty was not going to work out, my dear Bot.

    • DahBoner

      Why don't you get a job at the Good Wife law firm?

      They're hiring…

    • thesuniverse

      Speaking as a contract lawyer with 3 months left before unemployment, I'm right there with you. Assholes.

      • SorosBot

        Good to hear you know it's coming, anyway; as a contract lawyer my firm unexpectedly got the call that the case was going into settlement negotiations and they suddenly didn't need my work. It sucks.

        • That totally blows. I feel like I should just start suing the shit out of people. For practice. And then I feel like a I need to lay down.

  • bikerlaureate

    Retail customers almost wrecked the banks. Greedy so-and-so's.

    Banks should be protected from this trauma by an unlimited number of blank checks from good ol' Uncle Sam.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    I do remember getting money from ATMs a few times in 2008. My bad, sorry guys.

  • What I find most annoying about people like Conrad (other than they almost destroyed the economy a few years ago and seem to be trying to do it again) is that they are SO FUCKING CONVINCED that they accumulated wealth on their own, by the sweat of their own brow and that having the right set of parents had nothing to do with their fortune.

    • sullivanst

      Worse than that, they're SO FUCKING CONVINCED that they didn't in fact accumulate wealth from others, but that they majickally created that wealth by being the Federal Reserve because Jesus and Joseph Smith each have a planet full of wives.

  • orygoon

    So this out-of-touch fucker wrote a book, which sounds like very bad fiction. After reading the review, I hope my local public library gives it a miss.

  • AncienReggie

    Conardist? The guy's name is Conardist?

  • Dean Baker, a prominent progressive economist with the Center for Economic and Policy Research, says that most economists believe society often benefits from investments by the wealthy.

    Anyone who has read "Debt: The First 5,000 Years" by David Graeber–or anyone who has thought about it much–realizes that economists have always made sure their findings reaffirm the current dominant narrative of wealth and poverty.

    i. e. they just make stuff up.

  • SigDeFlyinMonky

    And where does capital come from? These deluded jackanapes have carefully cultivated a self serving faith based free market fundamentalism that stands in oppositionto observable fact. Just another glass bovine producing transparent bullshite.

  • Guppy

    Don’t rich people generally have PR flacks

    You mean, like, actually create a job?


  • owhatever

    Just another Bain Capital vulture who is in tune with working Americans. Or as a Fox News poll would ask:

    Question — Edward Conrad is a wonderful person.

    Select (A) Yes. (B) Absolutely.

  • Generation[redacted]

    Sure you could put your 401(k) into smart investments to guarantee you'll have something when you retire, OR… you could put it into highly risky ventures which mostly fail and when you have nothing for retirement you have a much greater incentive to work harder. In this way we will improve the economy.

    • tessiee

      "you could put it into highly risky ventures which mostly fail and when you have nothing for retirement you have a much greater incentive to work harder"

      At which point, douche-hats like conrad will blame you for making risky investments instead of safe ones.

  • C_R_Eature

    It saddens me that the science of Ecosystems Ecology and the "science" of Economics have so much in common.

    It enrages me that entitled know-nothings like this walk the Earth with impunity and are rewarded for their greed with money and access to the levers of power by other entitled know-nothing sociopaths.

    Nothing would make me happier than to drop-kick Conrad in the Balls in the memory of Eugene Odum.

  • A friend who worked at a hedge fund retired at 40, not 50. Get your facts right, Wonkette.

  • Warpde

    "This causes a massive problem because the money isn’t sitting at the bank."

    Then why the fuck do I, sorry, people try to rob them?
    So, um!….where….exactly….is…it?

    • Somewhere YOU CAN'T GET IT. It's a feature, not a bug.

      • Warpde

        As in bed bug?
        Never thought of looking under the mattress.
        No wonder I'm poor.

  • I was tempted with an extraordinary payoff once. They called it a "lottery" and for some stupid reason I went along.

    Apparently you need to "win" to get the payoff. Pffft.

  • DahBoner

    With every 6 million dollar investment, you get eggrolls and the poo poo appetizer…

  • Negropolis

    Conard concedes that the banks made some mistakes, but the important thing now, he says, is to provide them even stronger government support. He advocates creating a new government program that guarantees to bail out the banks if they ever face another run.

    How about this; how about we take your fucking banks from you until you guys can run them like the utilities they are meant to be, you assholes?

    I am so tired of this; so, so, so very tired. It's why the measures taken after the collapse should have been so much more radical. They will not learn, and they will do this to us, again, if given the chance. We the people need our own "Stand Our Ground" laws against these reckless, dangerous entities.

    Hey, Eddie. Clean your fucking house…or we'll do it for you, and trust me, you won't like how it turns out if we do it.

  • So…I'm guessing he was not at the May Day Rally.

  • DaiMacculate
  • thesuniverse

    And here I stupidly went with an art history MINOR. What the fuck was I thinking?

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