That's a lot of hair gel.

Your Wonkette has been too lazy to filter through the daily deluge of homophobic outrage pouring ever forth from the most ferociously closeted segment of the Internet to sift for the conservative hollering about Mitt Romney’s hiring of an openly gay campaign adviser to advise him on that most holy dominion of political manliness, forever wars. Apparently the yelling was very loud! So now the adviser, Richard Grenell, has resigned because Mitt Romney responded to the yells with a forceful decision to simply hide Grenell from the press and hope for it go away.

From WaPo:

According to sources familiar with the situation, Grenell decided to resign after being kept under wraps during a time when national security issues, including the president’s ad concerning Osama bin Laden, had emerged front and center in the campaign.

Let’s go ahead and replay an excerpt of Grenell’s recent op-ed calling out Barack Obama for his cowardice in failing to stand up for the rights of gay people:

President Obama reiterated his opposition to gay marriage in New York City one day before New York politicians passed marriage equality for their state. He did it again a few days later at the White House. The president and his political advisers surely must have calculated the con$equences for taking such a timely stand.

Mitt Romney got the memo! This must be why he declined to take any stand of any sort in defense of his gay foreign policy adviser. Or perhaps we are wrong, and Mitt Romney finally took to heart this brilliantly argued other memo, from the fevered nuts over at National Review Online:

It seems pretty plain that, whatever fine record he compiled in the Bush administration, Grenell is more passionate about same-sex marriage than anything else. So here’s a thought experiment. Suppose Barack Obama comes out — as Grenell wishes he would — in favor of same-sex marriage in his acceptance speech at the Democratic National Convention. How fast and how publicly will Richard Grenell decamp from Romney to Obama?

Let’s say it was this that convinced Romney. You cannot argue with logic of this caliber. [WaPo]

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  • nounverb911

    Time for Mitt to baptize away the gay.

    • he only does that after they're dead.

      • WunkRocker

        because the only good homo…

    • a_pink_poodle

      Whenever I hear something about "awaying the gay", I always think about D.A.D's Sleeping My Day Away

      From the pale lips of a priest who says;
      I'm praying the gay away!
      And when the night comes to the club I say
      I'm praying the gay (I'm pray the gay (I'm praying the gaaaaay)) AWAAAAAY

  • bikerlaureate

    The American Family Association’s Bryan Fischer took his crusade against Richard Grenell — an openly gay man who is now Mitt Romney’s chief spokesperson for foreign policy — to CNN [April 24], denouncing the former spokesperson for U.N. Ambassador John Bolton as a “homosexual activist who is actively working on behalf of homosexual marriage” to undermine religious liberties.


  • Nostrildamus

    No self-respecting gay man could abide such a boring campaign.

    • fitley

      The least he could have done before he resigned was tell Mitts that his "Mom Jeans" are a Fashion Faux Pas that makes him look like a dork. He'll never catch up with Obama's coolness dressed like that.

      • Geminisunmars

        I don't think his expertise was Fashion Policy.

    • Fare la Volpe

      Even queers can be wet blankets.

  • vodkamuppet

    I really, really don't understand log cabin republicans.

    • It's a sickness, I think.

      • Texan_Bulldog

        Stockholm Syndrome?

        • Generation[redacted]

          Salt Lake City Syndrome?

    • Hedley_Lamarr

      More daddy issues than the Wednesday afternoon girl at the airport strip club.

    • doloras

      It's simple. They're 1%-er homos who think "I'm so rich that no-one calls me a faggot and marriage rights mean nothing to me, so screw the rest of you queers".

      • I know a lot who aren't 1%-ers. They just hope to be. I think they're akin to the Reagan Democrats who believe it's only a matter of time until they hit the lottery, so it's best to side with the rich. These Loggers are looking for their sugar daddy and how will they be attractive to him if they are out occupying Wall Street? (Much like Hedley's airport lounge stripper, looking for Mr. Big.)

    • RavenRant

      They hate poors, blacks, browns, and bitches more than they love themselves?

    • Fare la Volpe

      I used to date one. I once had a spittle-flecked debate with him about Reaganomics, which segued fantastically into blood-pumping angry sex, followed immediately by more arguing.

      Three years after our break up I get in touch with him again and ask if he's still slobbering the Lincoln Log. He answered, quite indignantly: "Fuck no! You kidding? I only believed that shit so my dad would still talk to me." His father had disowned him the previous year for dating a Puerto Rican, so now it didn't matter what bullshit politics he espoused.

      Now he gets to bang a sweet piece of Latin ass at an Occupy event and everyone lives happily ever after, the end. Also, too.

      • VicariousMe


    • CrazyLikeFox

      I always figured it was an S&M sub-fetish.

      Nothing hotter than getting fucked by your own party, right?

      • GhostBuggy

        That still doesn't explain why they're not Democrats, though.

        • WunkRocker

          Yeah, I'm sorry. I think I prefer being fucked by the other party. I still blame Bill for 8 years of W. My bitch 1st wife hardly gave me any and I kept it in my pants for more than 8 years. Yeah, I think the log cabin Uncle Toms are proof being a greedy, selfish, asshole transcends race, sex, or what-you-like-to-fuck.

  • Tundra Grifter

    They do eat their young, don't they?

    • Sir_Fartz_Alot


      • Tundra Grifter

        Right wing nutz.

        Look how they tore a new one into Sen. McCain after he lost in 2008. Not that he's so young, of course, but the point is the same.

        • Sir_Fartz_Alot

          Right wing dry roasted nutz are delish!

          • vtxmcrider

            Dry roasting does not neutralize the toxins. Avoid at all cost!

        • teebob2000

          I like his answer better.

  • EtchySketchy

    That sound you hear is Romney shaking the rainbow pic off his Etch A Sketch.

  • Tundra Grifter

    Without even bothering to check, I just know this is all Mr. Obama's fault.

    I can check the right wing nutz' websites to be sure, but what's the point? The Blah guy did it. Again.

  • CapnFatback

    So here’s a thought experiment.

    Well, I suppose it's a step forward that the NRO is experimenting with thinking.

    • HobbesEvilTwin

      yes, but they should leave it to their more experienced brethren on the other side of the political aisle.

    • But their readers have no practice.

    • Pretty sure it's just a phase.

    • Chichikovovich

      But like the Michaelson-Morley experiment, it had a null result.

  • DeLand_DeLakes

    Ew, shrively. (And so am I, after looking at that dude's ugly mug.)

  • Short term gain for long term fail.

    • Wile E. Quixote

      It's the Bain Capital way of doing business.

  • Veritas78

    If he can't stand up to his own wingnuts, how can he stand up to Russia & China?

    • Sir_Fartz_Alot

      he has no opinion on that

      • LetUsBray

        At least, not until the Religious Reich tells him what it is.

    • HobbesEvilTwin

      The gay guy can't see Russia from his house.

    • Rotundo_

      Mittens will have an advisor (no doubt some level headed intellectual like Bolton) who will guide him like they did Dubya. Unless it's about the benjamins Mittens tends to phone it in.

    • Swampgas_Man

      As long as Russia and China still hate teh Gai as much as the American Taliban, what's the problem?

  • Badonkadonkette

    In fairness to the Republican base, putting Grenell in front of them as a spokesman is kind of like parking an ice cream truck in front of a Weight Watchers clinic.

    • finallyhappy

      we call them "meeting centers"

  • Sir_Fartz_Alot

    why cant teh gheys just go away?

    • Geminisunmars

      Or at least just lie about it, and hide it. No one needs to know. Jeesh.

      • Sir_Fartz_Alot

        git'em back to their log cabin closets an stay put.

        • Geminisunmars


    • Oh, given how the Republicans cried and shrieked about President Obama criticizing Uganda's "Kill a Gay for Jesus" bill, I am sure there is some kind of final…solution that they have in mind.

    • criminogenic

      ..or at least not be all up in ones face about it..rights are for the right people!

    • Advn2rgirl

      Not praying hard enough, obvs.

  • Steverino247

    Like anybody would "choose" to go through that much shit just to have sex with other guys. There's a reason the religious right opposes science and here's one more example of why: Science tells us homosexuals occur naturally.

    Now, if science told us homosexuals occur fabulously, I might see their point…

  • CapnFatback

    The tent of the Republican party is as small and pitiful as the one in Bryan Fischer's pants.

    • Who would have thought that such a small tent could have so much closet space?

      • CapnFatback

        I doff my virtual Cap'n hat to you, good sir.

  • Tengu

    Apparently the 'big tent' has to do with obesity only.

    • Boojum

      FUPA LIBEL!!!!

  • Pragmatist2

    Slippery slope.
    If they let him stay, then some Christian would have objected to sharing a bathroom with him. If they created a "gay" bathroom then some Transgender person would have demanded their own bathroom.
    Bestiality is only a few steps away.

  • Barb

    Wow, this asshole scrubbed all his hateful tweets against women and the First Lady for nothing. Now he has plenty of time to write them again.

    • Texan_Bulldog

      I was just thinking misogyny is fine & dandy in the GOP but don't be taking it up the butt (or if you do, you need to hide that fact … see Bachmann, Marcus).

    • CommieLibunatic

      I thought it was that same fuckhead. Looks like he was fired for the wrong reason.

  • Wile E. Quixote

    So basically the Rmoney campaign told their National Security Homo to hustle his ass back into the closet. It makes you wonder how many other people Mitt Romney will throw under the bus, or perhaps the better metaphor would be "leave on the top of the car", between now and the election.

    • HobbesEvilTwin

      "leave on top of the car" instead of "throw under the bus" is my new favorite nerdy political phrase.

    • rickmaci

      Well played.

    • Mondo_Cane

      All of them, Katie….

    • Stevola

      They like it on top of the car. No, wait, that's dogs. Never mind.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Wait…putting aside the gay-rights aspect of this story for a second…

    So you're saying Romney actually has foreign policy advisors? And Romney let someone resign from his foreign policy team for something besides just giving him really, really terrible advice?

    I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around this.

    • Romney would do what Obama wouldn't unless Obama was right then Romney would do it first.

    • Negropolis

      I'm really hoping Grenell isn't the one that keeps finding Romney slipping the word "Soviets" into every foreign policy speech.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Mitt wouldn't recognize terrible foreign policy advice if it yanked down his magic BVDs and bit him in the ass. That leaves only "other" reasons… like pressure from the GOPtard base.

  • EtchySketchy

    Romney–too gutless to stand up for Grenell against the wing-nuts, so he hides instead.

    He's like a car elevator stalled between the 2nd and 3rd floor of a beach-side mansion.

  • This is why they invented Santorum.

  • SorosBot

    I thought they now strategy was supposed to be to move back to the center once the nomination was sewn up?

    • Dudleydidwrong

      The thought occurred to me–between intake of Jack Daniels jet fuel–that maybe that is the center of the present asshole Republican party.

      • SorosBot

        Oh, it's somewhat delicious that to appease up the base Romney's having to move so far to the right to be completely unacceptable to all non-wingnuts.

  • How fast and how publicly will Richard Grenell decamp from Romney to Obama?

    How fast and publicly will David Axelrod tell him to take a hike?

  • Wile E. Quixote

    Rmoney is probably disappointed that Grenell resigned before he had a chance to fire him.

  • Boojum

    Gay people give Mitt a funny feeling in his transistors.

  • kissawookiee

    Shoot, all Mitt had to do was punch Grenell real hard and he would've straightened right up.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Very clever of the Romney camp — now whatever President Obama does in terms of gay rights, he'll be doing exactly what Romney chose to do — either the first time, or else the second time when what he did the first time was shouted down by an overwhelming number of his alleged allies.

  • Doktor StrangeZoom

    Well, that's certainly a victory for traditional values.

    • Sir_Fartz_Alot

      Game, set, match

    • Advn2rgirl

      You mean betrayal, cowardice, and faithlessness?

  • WhatTheHeck

    Mitt’s in a bit of a dilemma. He has the Mormon church telling him one thing. The Catholic church some other things and the rest of the religious right, a whole bunch of crazy shit. That’s a big problem when you sell your campaign for some votes. Time to reap the wind.

  • rocktonsam

    and Bamz is in Afcrapastan with the real troops, Suck it Mittenz and fuck you also.

  • Texan_Bulldog

    Now I see why Mittens doesn't have any black advisors–would be too embarrassing for them to have to quit when the wing-tards barked.

    • Maybe there are some deeply closeted black advisors.

      Don't axe, don't tell.

  • Let's just note: while there is an intersection between GLBT rights and foreign policy, it's pretty far removed from anything resembling a campaign issue for 2012. Ergo, the theocrats who raised a stink, were really just angry that a gay man was hired for a job for which his sexuality was not at issue, and that Mitt Romney hadn't openly committing hiring discrimination.

    Again, not to belabor the point: they were angry that a gay person was hired by anyone, anywhere. That's what this was about.

    • Negropolis

      Yeah, that's kind of the point of the post. This doesn't have anything to do with his foreign policy positions.

    • Yep.
      And now they can reap what they have sown.

  • Nostrildamus

  • So, according to Republican "logic" does noticing Republican bigotry against homosexuals make us the "real racists" here too?

    • anniegetyerfun

      Just bringing it up not only proves that you are a racist, but also someone who feasts upon aborted fetuses.

      • Just bringing it up not only proves that you are a racist, but also someone who feasts upon aborted fetuses.

        Given how badly the Bush Administration gutted the USDA, that might be true.

  • OC_Surf_Serf

    [Obama's] cowardice in failing to stand up for the rights of gay people

    Funny, I remember President Obama getting DADT overturned for good while these Republican't asshats control everything being a HUGE deal…

  • sharethegrief

    Ann will be gone if Rush calls her a slut.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Maybe, just maybe, the reverse is true: Rushballs will be gone if Ann calls him a slut.

  • arihaya

    since when did Santorum became Romneys' aide?

  • owhatever

    This is a hole in the campaign that must be filled.

    • criminogenic

      I can see they are bending over backwards to ensure it's filled.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Bending over, yes. Backwards, no.

    • Fare la Volpe

      Hopefully Romney will reach around the aisle to fill this gaping hole.

  • Goonemeritus

    In a cynical attempt to peel a few LGBT votes out of the Obama camp Grenell got himself fired. I have a feeling that log cabin doesn't have to be that big to fit all the open gays in that Party.

    • Swampgas_Man

      It's a log closet.

  • C_R_Eature

    "During all eight years of President George W. Bush’s tenure, Grenell served as the administration’s director of communications and public diplomacy at the United Nations. He advised four U.S. ambassadors to the United Nations: John D. Negroponte, John C. Danforth, John R. Bolton and Zalmay Khalilzad." – Roger L. Simon, PJ Media.

    So, let me understand this: If Grinnel would just have stayed a Properly Gay Republican and just shut up about it already, refrained from getting caught snorting detergent and plooking in a hotel room with a bunch of naked industry executives and held off publishing Op-Eds about Gays Marrying each other he could have continued to give Mitt Romney the exact kind of disastrously inept Public Diplomacy advice that buoyed the stellar international career of the likes of John Bolton?

    Yeah, I still don't get it.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Has anyone asked Grenell's former boss, Bolton, about this?

    • Wile E. Quixote

      You mean Johnny "Gay Porno Stache" Bolton?

  • The link to Franck's latest bowel obstruction over at NRO shows that Kay Lo has surgically excised any semblance of logic from the pages of Bill Buckley's Natty Review.

  • elfgoldsackring

    Wait, I thought the AFA and NRO were all in favor of gay guys decamping?

  • Nopantsmcgee

    Grenell, you knew he was a scorpion when you gave him that ride across the river.

  • chascates

    I don't know why these people despise Muslim fundamentalists; they're exactly like them.

    • Actually, my admittedly cursory research suggests that Muslim fundamentalists are far more pragmatic on the subject of abortion, esp when the life or health of the mother is at risk. So, that's one difference.

    • Rotundo_

      Muslim fundies tend to actually believe in and walk the walk of their religion, with this outfit your mileage may vary considerably.

    • Negropolis

      That's exactly why they despite them: because they are so alike.

      One word: competition.

      Remember, genocides and wars and conflict don't really go into full gear until the majority feels competition from the minority.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        The Xtards had better take note of who, exactly, is in the majority when it comes to fundie fucktardery.

  • iburl

    I didn't even know Rmoney had gay aids.

    • VicariousMe

      Inconceivable!. Gay aids was strictly 80's.

  • rickmaci

    Can't get up a whole lot of feel bad for Grenell. He eagerly climbed in to the pen with the pit bull and it bit him on the ass, and crotch and the … At least in this instance he will be like the folks who didn't get tickets to sail on the Titanic. The Mittanic is going down and he will be grateful in January that he wasn't on board.

  • anniegetyerfun

    I think it was Obama's "It's Raining Men" promise that finally helped this poor dear queer to see the light.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      I figured he was planning to drop paratroopers on some country or other.

  • littlebigdaddy

    "Suppose Barack Obama comes out…" Yeah, that's the wingnutters' secret illicit fantasy alright.

    • GregComlish

      Dear FreeRepublic,

      I never thought it would happen to me, but my buddy and I were showering in the gym talking trash about Obamacare. That's when the President walked in…

  • redarmyzombie

    You know, speaking as a gay man who hasn't sold himself to amoral, untrustworthy hypocrites, I can't say I have any sympathy for him.

    I will never understand gay republicans.

    • Fare la Volpe

      You don't need to understand them.

      Just pity them.

    • Tundra Grifter

      Kinda like those deer that insist on joining the NRA.

  • Awesome.

    Rmoney is making Hopey* look like a profile in courage in the stand by your man/woman/previously expressed opinion/so-called firmly held position department.

    * Van Jones, Shirley Sherrod, Social Security (next term!), Civil Rights, whistle-blowers, the rule of law, protecting little kids on farms, and such as.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Yep, it's true. Not all gays driven out of their jobs by discrimination are big government liberals.

  • Geminisunmars

    Would you think I am a terrible person if I confessed that I am not saddened (nor surprised) by this event?

    • Dudleydidwrong

      “No one expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise, fear and surprise; two chief weapons, fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency! Er, among our chief weapons are: fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, and near fanatical devotion to the Pope! Um, I'll come in again…”

      • Geminisunmars

        I am wearing a nice red negligee…oh, bugger.

  • I haz a confused. This Grenell guy is FOR gay weddings and also FOR war (oh, excuse me, "defense")?? But when the baggers declare war against the ghey he RETREATS rather than fights? Then when Grenell waves his tighty whities, Mittens "I Love to Fire People" Rmoney just says, "Meh"?

    Am I to surmise this is the natural result of a campaign that is for or against whatever its audience is for or against on an ever-changing basis?

  • RavenRant

    And all you Libunatics claim you can't 'pray away the gay'! HAH!

  • Homophobes say what?! Obama will "come out," and Richard Grenell will "decamp" the Romney campaign while singing a medley of show tunes?!

  • Rotundo_

    So Mittens loses an advisor that gave Bolton all of his *brilliant* ideas, the wingnuts get to declare victory and make Mittens look like a weak willed twit that bends at any barking from the more extreme? Winning, Mitt. Winning.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Corporations are people too, my friend.

    Teh Gheys? Not so much.

    • Tundra Grifter

      So, if this guy had just incorporated he woulda been OK?

      What if he'd formed himself into an LLC*?


      *: Lite Lavender Closet

  • Warpde

    So, being Gay, doesn't mean happy any more?
    I am so depressed.


    He joined the campaign after hearing about all those superPACKS surrounding the candidate.

  • MosesInvests

    Uh, ghey Republicans? Hate to break it to y'all, but for you, It Doesn't Get Better.

  • Fare la Volpe

    Feh! Grenell only joined the Romney campaign after he heard of their endorsement from the Chocolatier Marketers SuperPAC, or FudgePAC.

    • SheriffRoscoe

      oh ma gah. i'm laughing so hard at that.

  • Tundra Grifter

    What does Dan Savage say about all this?

  • Butch_Wagstaff

    That screen grab reminds me of a face I've seen many years ago.
    It was on the one guy who sat at the end of the bar who wasn't pleasant to be around or talk to. He'd down one Long Island Iced Tea after another, complain (between puffs on a cigarette) about not having a boyfriend/partner & how the bar was being overrun by "dykes" and transgendered "freaks".

    • doloras

      "That screen grab reminds me of a face I've seen many years ago."

      I originally read this as "a face I've sat on".

  • Negropolis

    I love this. The "party of freedom/liberty" is the one that refuses to open itself up to supporting free expression and personal freedom. You have angry fuckers beating on the door to get in on the freedom tip, but the GOP is actively beating them away from the doors. All the while you have the Dems that don't give a fuck what you do in your personal life so long as it doesn't actively harm others, but they aren't an option because "eww, wimmenz and blahs."

    Log Cabin Republicans? Fuck 'em. You can't love somebody that doesn't love himself or herself. You know, I'm not a member of either party, but I sympathize with the Dems, because at the end of the day they only ask that you come as you are. They realize that all of us are in this thing called life, together.

  • PuglyDoRight

    Way to stand behind your friends, Mitt. Chickensh*t.

  • ttommyunger

    Well, Mittens does like to fire people….

  • It is very confusing to see how Republicans are whining about being the victim in this too.

  • LionHeartSoyDog

    "fevered nuts over at National Review…"

    Double entendre Win!.

  • Even Jimmy Carter would have stood up against bigotry towards one of his staff picks.

  • SheriffJoeBiden

    Can there be anything more terrifying than the words "So here’s a thought experiment" appearing in a National Review column?

    Also, if "Mitt Romney fires gay people," or "Gay people can't serve in Mitt Romney's administration" (if you want to put it more kindly) isn't an issue in the campaign, Obama deserves to lose.

  • WonkCynic

    So, who do you think bullied the gay republican guy the hardest? The GOP peoples who like to hang out in corners and whisper about the gays? Or the lefties who are absolutely appauled by any notion that a dude who goes through life wearing an 'I suck dick" t-shirt would dare to line up on the side of the partisan puppet show that doesn't sell "I suck dick" t-shirts at their rallies?

    • Not that you're even remotely worth the response, but if I had to say? Probably the people whose partisan orthodoxy required pretty fucking overt employment discrimination against someone whose sexual orientation had nothing to do with the job they were hired to perform.

      "Lefties" didn't go out of their way to get some guy fired for daring to apply for a job dealing with foreign policy, while being gay. Try again, plz.

    • Negropolis

      Hey, buddy, Wonkette doesn't come to your job and smack the dicks out of your mouth, so why don't you go fuck off…alone.

  • Come here a minute

    Sometimes it takes a while to notice the really good wordplay — Wingnut Victory! Imagine a marble sculpture of the triumphant and beautiful form of Nike, with the head of Andrew Breitbart. Time for a wingnut campaign to replace the Statue of Freedom at the top of the Capitol dome.

  • finallyhappy

    I guess it is sad when you realize your "friends" hate you and have hated you all along for who you truly are. But Grenell must have known this all along(right?) so I sort of feel sorry for a self-hater who can't help himself.

  • niblick77

    Wow, another vote for Obama! Thank you Mr. Grenell.

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