Run Sadface.exeHere is a story with so many lovely layers of gooey rich ironies — like a trifle, or a Spotted Dick! First, Mitt Romney is in New York City today, cold hangin’ out at firehouses with Rudy 9u11iani while near-simultaneously criticizing Barack Obama for “politicizing” the death of Osama Bin Laden. Second, did you know Obama should have handled the whole OBL unpleasantness the way Mitt Romney says he said he would have? Fellows, it is true. “It was naive on the part of the candidate to say he would go in,” Romney whined like a total bitch. “It was a very uh uh uh if you will fragile and flammable time in Pakistan, and I thought it was a mistake of him as a candidate for the presidency of the United States at that time to announce that we would go in. Rather than to just, as I did, say we reserve the right to go in wherever is appropriate to secure the interests of the United States of America.”

So did Romney say that thing he says he said, about of course reserving the right to turn Osama Bin Laden into a rapidly decomposing coral reef? DON’T BE RIDICULOSE!

Here is what he said back then, because he was trying to score political points (or even believed it!):

“I do not concur in the words of Barack Obama in a plan to enter an ally of ours… I don’t think those kinds of comments help in this effort to draw more friends to our effort,” Romney told reporters on the campaign trail.

And also this:

“It’s not worth moving heaven and earth spending billions of dollars just trying to catch one person.”

Anyway, here is some video. Do stick around to you get to poor (seriously, actually felt bad for the ol’ bot) Mitt’s facing freezing in horror when he finally realizes his heckler is yelling “ROMNEY IS A RACIST” over and over again. You kinda gotta hand it to the guy for going to NYC on May Day. That is at least as terrifying for a corporate jackal as, say, a midnight ride to wartorn Afghanistan.


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  • Barb

    Bah, ha ha! Romney's gay spokesman quit. I wonder if he is still gay though? None of the Romney's do dick, so why should he?

  • nounverb911

    And in the meantime the President is in Kabul ending a war.

    • johnnymeatworth

      Yeah, but he shouldn't because Mitt was going to, and it's a fragile time, and also blah blah blah.

      • Obama is just following the policy that Mitt Romney double-secretly said he was going to do first. Way to steal Romney's ideas again, ObaMAO!

    • arihaya

      ssst !!! You are NOT supposed to politicize the fact a Blah Killed a man that Bush cannot kill, or a Blah ending wars that Bush had started !

  • nounverb911

    Mittens, while you're in the Big Apple you should stop by Katz's deli and see how real people eat.

    • sullivanst

      Interest in how humans eat has not been programmed into MittBot3.2

  • littlebigdaddy

    He knows Barry has a bigger stick.

    • nounverb911

      "Tell me, schatze, is it twue what they say about the way you people are… gifted?"
      –Lili Von Shtupp

      • MaxNeanderthal

        Inga: [her eyes get wide] He vould have an enormous schwanzschtücker.
        Dr. Frankenstein: [ponders this a moment] That goes without saying.
        Inga: Voof.

        • MosesInvests

          Inga:…der monster got part of your vonderful brain. Vhat did you get in return?
          Dr. Frankenstein: MMMMMM.
          Inga: Oh, ach, I don't beliefe it….Oh, sweet mystery of life, at last I've found thee….

        • Stevola

          Igor: He's going to be very popular.

  • WhatTheHolyHeck

    We need to find out the President's stance on Boxers v Briefs.

    I will greatly enjoy listening to the Mittbot refute a charismatic Black man's underwear.

    • Boojum


    • anniegetyerfun


    • rickmaci

      When asked about his underwear policy Romoney stated, “It’s not worth moving heaven and earth spending billions of dollars just trying to chose between boxers or briefs.”

  • or you can just ask your parents if you can borrow the head of OBL.

  • The illumination of OBL? Did they hang lights on him?

  • Barb

    Mitt and Rudy went out to get some pizza and as they exited Joe's Pizza carrying a stack of pizza boxes in New York City on Tuesday, somebody on the sidewalk shouted, "Just don't put 'em on the roof of the car!"

    Hilarious! I love New York!

    • sullivanst

      At least Rudy has a better idea where to get pizza than The Duhnald

      • nounverb911

        Lombardi's is still the best (and oldest).

        • bagofmice

          Yeah, but the line is a bitch in winter. Good thing there's a bar on the corner, so you and your friends can "warm up" in shifts while keeping place in line.

  • hagajim

    I do concur that Mitt is a dick who should be eating a bag of salted dicks, oh and fuck off Rudy!

  • Raskolnikova

    Nice, Thanks for gracing my eyes with 2 douchebags!

  • jakegittes

    “I do not concur in the words of Barack Obama in a plan to enter an ally of ours…" US America is always entering its allies.

    • anniegetyerfun

      They like it.

      • jakegittes

        Especially when the entry is via the back door.

  • UnholyMoses

    This guy doesn't realize that we have this thing called "The Internet," does he?

    Or does he, and he just doesn't give a shit because the media won't actually call him out on his flat-out lies?

    I mean, it's gotta be one or the other …

    (Well, he could just be a dumbfuck of epic proportions, but I don't think that's [entirely] the case.)

    • prommie

      He doesn't give a shit because he has people to give his shits. He would no sooner personally give a shit than he would mow his lawn or wash his car or do his laundry. Or even pretend to act like he has to seek anyone's approval to become president, he thinks he owns it, someone told him its his turn, is my bet.

    • RavenRant

      They keep shaking their laptops over and over again. Can't figure out why all Mitt's prior words and deeds aren't vanishing into a pristine silver blank slate.

      The internet is not an Etch a Sketch, losers.

    • bikerlaureate

      Surprising that "the ends justifies the means" is so well received by the Mormon spiritual leadership…

  • I lohonestly find it rather refreshing that Romney has decided to rebuke the recent politicization of Bin Ladin and terrorism.

    With Rudy Giuliani.

    In New York.

    In front of a Fire Department.

    • Boojum

      Irony is not his strong suit. The Mittbot has aluminum skin, not iron.

    • The utter and complete shamelessness leaves me without words. Well maybe a couple, Jesus wept, or something like that.

    • Butch_Wagstaff

      When Rudy was running for President, I thought that surely he wouldn't be crass enough to bring up 9/11 all the time. But I'll be goddamned if he didn't almost every time he opened his mouth.

      • Negropolis

        And the fucker would have won the nomination on that alone were it not for his Gingrichian history with women.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    This is pretty easy. George W. Bush saying we would smoke out the terrorist wherever they hide: Perfectly OK, as he is white and Republican.

    Barack Obama saying and then actually getting bin Laden where he was hiding? A clear violation of everything decent in America, as he is black, Kenyan and a Socialist.

    Romney, the master politician he is, quickly saw that he must take the opposite position, or he too might be thought of as black, Kenyan (or Mexican), and a Socialist. That will not do!

    • yrbmegr

      Why ever would anyone think Mitt Romney is a Mexican? Surely George W. Romney was as American as Barack Obama. How could one think otherwise?

  • Reginald_Perrin

    Can you imagine the RWNJ's outrage if it was the communistic Obama on stage with mayor Giuliani…..
    Brietbar's minions would be spamming Twitter with messages about the President sharing the stage with a well known cross dresser.

  • Schmannnity

    Entering an ally? Isn't that why he has 5 sons?

  • It's great to see Rudy and Mittens together. That way they can both sit around and talk about how great it is to be a pretend leader-type person.

    • Veritas78

      Rudi can give tips to Rmoney about cashing in after losing big.

    • All they need is Karzai, in one of his fabulous ensembles.

  • Which is nothing. OBL would be alive and 99% of us would be fighting each other for scraps in the 1%er Thunderdome cause the world economy would have seized up and blown apart if we listened to Moneybags Mitt's other advice (no stimulus or automaker bailout.)

  • And Rudy smiled through the whole thing..

  • jjdaddyo

    I guess Romney just doesn't want to get into an ACTUAL dick-measuring contest, so he does this instead?

  • teebob2000

    That picture reminds me of the dashing Dr. Frankenstein and his troll-like abomination-of-an-assistant.

    "Abby someone."

    • MosesInvests

      It's pronounced Eye-gor.

  • Preferred Customer

    Why is he completely unable to say "Osama bin Laden?" Every time he says it he sort of chokes on it.

    • Generation[redacted]

      He's trying really hard not to say Obama bin O'Biden

    • Because he was wrong.

  • Limeylizzie

    You can see him gulping when he realises what she's yelling, his adam's apple bobbles like Coulter's.

    • prommie

      I'd like to see him gulp when he sees his doom staring him in the face.

      • Limeylizzie

        I forgot he was coming here today or else I would have gone and screamed something at him “You're a cunt” would have been good.

    • ttommyunger

      At least he stopped smacking his lips for a moment.

  • Spotted Dick caused Tower 7 collapse.

  • Is that a clip from that new sitcom, ".75 Men"?

  • Mitt needs to develop a "campaign face" that doesn't convey "I am so full of shit I can't believe you don't all see it leaking from my pores!"

  • Extemporanus

    President Obama should've strapped Osama bin Laden to the roof of Air Force One?

    • Barb

      Nah, Bin Laden should have been strapped to the top of the President's helicopter, Marine One, while standing up.

  • SayItWithWookies

    I like how they celebrate the killing of bin Laden right where Rudy gave his first press conference after the 9/11 attacks, as though Rudy and Dubya's carelessness could somehow be responsible for both.

    What Mitt and Rudy really should've done is do their schtick where they found out Osama bin Laden had been killed — like, standing in front of a television with the news on.

  • yrbmegr

    Giuliani obviously enjoyed the heckling. He nearly burst out laughing.

    • SolitaireRose

      He's just happy not to shilling books in front of bored business people at a Zig Zigler seminar.

  • prommie

    Romney and that shiteating little lisping weasel-fucking weasel bastard Giuliani go to firehouse, politicize 9-11 for the 911th time, and criticize Obammer for finally getting the guy what did 9-11, which Bush failed to do because 'to tell you the truth I don't particularly care about him" as W said himself, being much more interested in "sweeping in things related and unrelated" as Rummy said, but mostly unrelated, and all with the primary interest of benefitting the US Oil Bidness.

    This Romney is the worst, the absolute worst, politician ever in the history of humanity. Now you see where Bush did have some talent, he was a good liar, and good at acting all "aw shucks." Romney is smarter, but palpably does not give a fuck, not a single fuck does he give, he just feels he deserves it and fuck us if we don't realize it. He's not even trying because he obviously feels that would be beneath him.

    • MOG2410

      And the presumptive GOP candidate. 'Nuff said.

    • BornInATrailer

      "he .. feels"

      I believe I've found the root cause of your disappointment wrt Mr. Romneyboto.

    • James Michael Curley

      Now when you say, "Romney is the worst, the absolute worst, politician ever in the history of humanity" is that a subjective analysis of his policies, opinions, morals and integrity or an objective analysis of his competency to be a politician; because both would apply.

    • MissNancyPriss

      Sometimes i am hard at work and suddenly i think about him and my brain collapses while I try to wrap my mind around the fact that this guy is the GOP nominee.

    • Negropolis

      Romney would be a president worse than Dubya, and that's saying a whole helluva lot. He got away for the longest time with being portrayed as a "Masschusetts liberal", but he is something far worse: rudderless. He has yet to make a convincing case that he wants to be president because he has something to offer the country.

  • SoBeach

    Mitt says he'd have killed Osama too, but he would have been — what? — more nuanced about it?

    Not a hell of a lot to run on.

    • littlebigdaddy

      No, just nicer for petesake. Mormon-style. Like when he's firing people.

    • He would have killed him in a quiet room.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Putting aside whether it is true or not for a moment, the current Republican talking point "Of course Romney would have gone after Bin Laden if given the same choice" completely overlooks whether or not Romney would have diverted the resources into searching for him that would have gotten us to that point where he could make that choice.

    • littlebigdaddy

      Ack! Logic! Go away mean man!

      • That's EXACTLY what I thought when I read BMW's astute comment.

    • James Michael Curley

      The brilliance of Obama in this particular situation was well encapsulated when Johnson was alleged to have been criticized by his campaign manager about calling an opponent a pig fucker. Johnson stated; (paraphrased) "I don't care if he is or he isn't, I just want him to have to deny it."

      It makes no difference what Rmoney says about what he would or would not have done, the week is won and the news cycle extended recognizing Obama got Osama when Rmoney responds.

      • BarackMyWorld

        That might have worked if the rightwing media was already ready with he faux outrage over the politicization of 9/11.

        • James Michael Curley

          And how long can they continue that without having to mention “He who cannot be named.”?One of the more Obamabashing trolls, Major Garrett, was cornered very quickly into admitting that; ‘ … if Bush was justified in using (9/11) to keep peoples’ focus on the war on terror, why is it wrong that Obama reminds us of our victories?’ To which there was no coherent response.

  • Wile E. Quixote

    The ad I'd like to see.

    Footage from 9/11/2001 of the planes crashing into the WTC and the Pentagon and of the Flight 93 crash site in Pennsylvania.

    CUT TO:

    Footage of Osama bin Laden taking credit for the 9/11 attacks and announcing that Al Qaeda was plotting more attacks against Americans.

    CUT TO:

    Black screen with a word crawl and voice over.


    On September 11th 2001 America suffered the worst attack in its history. 3,000 Ameicans died that day at the hands of Al Qaeda terrorists led by Osama bin Laden. Osama bin Laden then vowed to kill more Americans in terrorist attacks.

    Cut to Mittens saying:

    “It’s not worth moving heaven and earth spending billions of dollars just trying to catch one person.”

    If Governor Romney doesn't think it's worth moving heaven and earth and spending billions of dollars to get a man who killed 3,000 Americans and who was planning to kill more then perhaps he can tell us when it would be appropriate? How many Americans would have to die in terrorist attacks under a Romney administration before Mitt Romney would take action?

    • Dashboard Buddha

      Very good.

    • Boojum

      Music swells and cut to Obama announcing bin Laden is dead.

    • With all due respect, it was an inside job.

      • Oh for fuck's sake.

      • Negropolis

        Yes, the killing of Bin Laden was done in-house…his house.

        • horsedreamer_1

          Is that why that Madea woman/Tyler Perry ad to go into witness protection?

  • ElPinche

    Well well well, it's Mrs. Doubtfire and Heinrich Himmler. Where the fuck is Romney's flag pin?

  • spends2much

    What is Mitten's stance on his wacky church Mormonizing the corpse of OBL? He was already down with the multiple wives business, after all.

    Over to you, Mittens!

  • HobbesEvilTwin

    Thanks for reminding me that I have to apportion my hatred. I had totes forgot how much I hate that fucking worthless weasel-faced fucking parasite Rudy 9u11iani. Can he go back under his rock now?

  • Midway117

    Mittbot would have gone after Ozmana ben Luden but not so hard.

  • sullivanst

    Mitt's rambling nonsense here serves as yet another reminder of why teleprompters are in fact a good idea. I mean good grief goobers, the first President to use a speechwriter was Washington and while using a 'prompter won't make me hate what you're saying less, at least it'll be over faster.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    These two should be in the new National Zoo "Pander Bear" exhibit. "Dum Dum" and "Lie Lie."

  • ttommyunger

    Rudy and Mittens sitting in a tree: F-U-C-K-I-N-G!

  • OneYieldRegular

    Apropos of almost nothing, I am not looking forward to getting old. I hadn't seen Gulliani in maybe two years, and suddenly he looks like a slightly taller version of Uncle Fester.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    I'm not, but if I were Disney, I'd put this video back in the Disney Vault.

  • DemonicRage

    "It was a fragile and flammable time in Pakistan…" Oh man! What sensitivity! When he loses the election, please, let us send him as Ambassador to that beleaguered Democratic beacon in a troubled world.

    • James Michael Curley

      "beleaguered Democratic beacon in a troubled world" Amb. Mittens, AZ.

    • Negropolis

      Can someone tell me when it isn't a "fragile and flammable time in Pakistan…"?

  • GOPCrusher

    “It’s not worth moving heaven and earth spending billions of dollars just trying to catch one person.”

    But that one person was worth spending billions of dollars to fight a war in a country that had no ties whatsover to that person?
    Just once, I would like to see one of these assholes state to the public that we had no business in Iraq.

  • elviouslyqueer

    That has got to be the ugliest drag queen I've seen in, oh, ever. And Rudy looks like shit too.

  • Fairtackle

    ouch, alt text made soda come out my nose

    • bikerlaureate

      Abort, Retry, Fail?

    • Sir_Fartz_Alot

      this comment does not compute!

  • JackObin

    Hey Rudy, easy on the linguini, huh? You're beggining to look like Pugsly Limbaugh.

  • An_Outhouse

    Romney does not want to enter an ally? Why is everything sex, sex, sex with Mr. Gigli Gigolo? Get your mind out of the gutter for a change, Mittens. Fucking Mormons.

  • While I'm not too thrilled with the current crazy billionaire who <del>owns</del> runs NYC, thanks for reminding me that at one point it was much, much worse. In fact, it was so bad that police and the firefighters didn't even have functioning radios on 911, and many died as a result.

  • Daily Variety photo caption:

    Dix Nix Chix Mix Lix Pix, Stix Hix Fix Trix

    As explained by George M. Cohan: Unpleasant men reject (1) graphic representations of Lesbian oral sex and (2) dubious efforts to improve the lot of rural residents.

  • Why doesn't Mitt just concede the battles that Obama has won (Getting Osama: BO Policy-1, ROM Policy-0; Saving the Auto Biz: BO Policy-1, ROM Policy-0; Health Care: BO/ROM Policy-1), and pick some battles that don't make him look like a weak, flip-flopping jerk?

    • …and pick some battles that don't make him look like a weak, flip-flopping jerk?

      There is probably an obvious answer to this question.

    • BerkeleyBear

      Yeah, at this point Obama should just ask Romney why he's running, since apparently he'd just do everything Obama did in his first term.

  • Troglodeity

    If I were Romney's campaign manager, I would avoid having him in close proximity to a man whose wife used to slit open live puppies stomachs for profit. As a conservative, pro-Santorum blogger recently wrote:

    I have the same problem with (Mitt's strapping his dog to the roof of his car) that I have with Rudy Giuliani’s latest wife, Judith, who once worked as a sales rep for a medical device company that sold surgical sutures. At conventions, Judith kept a supply of small puppies in a cardboard box under her demonstration table. When a crowd gathered, Judith would take a puppy, cut open its stomach and show the medical professionals how the sutures worked — by demonstrating them on a live puppy whose stomach was sliced open. Afterwards, all the puppies would be killed…and a new litter would be used at the next medical convention.

    • anniegetyerfun

      OMFG. I honestly cannot think of how people didn't clobber her on the spot. How can that be true?

  • Mitt Romney is a liar that is apparently too sociopathic or simply lazy to even bother trying to come up with a lie. Though it was the inevitably conclusion of Republican's longstanding philosophy of using "NO U" as the preferred response to any logical arguments about how bad their policies worked out.

  • anniegetyerfun

    Well, you have to admit, Pakistan is one amazing ally. It's not like you'd want to alienate them in any form, because they might stop being our #1 Bestest Good Friend.

  • Nopantsmcgee

    Wow, MItt. So, you're whole bitch is that Obama said specifically "Pakistan" , back in 2008 when he was a candidate? And you were more vague about it , so that was better than what candidate Obama said?

    And you stand there and spend 6 minutes explaining it? In 2012?

    Ladles and Jellybeans, Napoleon Dynamite had a better campaign team than Willard does.

  • If I can have more creative rhetoric such as, "“It was a very uh uh uh if you will fragile and flammable time in Pakistan, and I thought it was a mistake of him as a candidate for the presidency of the United States at that time to announce that we would go in. Rather than to just, as I did, say we reserve the right to go in wherever is appropriate to secure the interests of the United States of America," I might just vote for Rmoney. The inaugural address will be a wonder of the ages. Not to mention what we might look forward to in State of the Union messages.

    Is Miss Teen South Carolina his speech writer?!?

  • BZ1

    I certainly would have taken that action myself, except now I am parsing my words so that other guy doesn't get any credit …

  • MissNancyPriss

    Oh my god, what is he even talking about? Life expectancy of New Yorkers? Hu?

  • Slim_Pickins

    Mitt is rebuking the Bush Doctrine, then?

  • Negropolis

    Umm, Mitt. President Obama isn't "the candidate" he is "the president."

    P.S. Get fuckin' used to it.

  • fitley

    Needs more Palin.

  • DocChaos

    So Romney's game plan is spend the rest of the campaign explaining that what he said wasn't what Obama says he said and that Obama either did or should have done what Romney said he would do. Sounds like a winning strategy.

  • fuflans

    jesus christ rudy's gotten fat.

    jesus christ romney is just… terrrible.

  • meatpuppet2

    So let me get this straight. Get it, gay guy urrum. Mitt Romney is with Rudy "9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11" Guiliani in a NY firehouse to celebrate the anniversary of sending Bin Laden back to Allah and simultaneously critisizing Obama for politicizing it himself.

    Got it!

  • lulzmonger

    … & for all these years you thought Atari went out of business?

    Face it, sheeple: MITT ROMNEY WAS AN INSIDE JOB.

  • prommie

    Giuliani is so fucking noxious, such a fucking asshole, that his cancer left him.

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