sweet ayla brownRegular Joe/guy with six houses/US Senator from the great state of TAXACHUSETTS Scott Brown would like to run Obamacare over with his famous pickup truck! Massachusetts already HAS health care, after all, thanks to Obamacare godfather MittRomneyCare, so why should they have to kick in for the tabs of all those other stupid states? (You know: like blue states always kick in for the welfare of Alabammy and Alaska, even though Alaska is already socialist.) But maybe until Scott Brown has killed Bammerzcares dead his hot rock star daughter could take advantage of staying on her parents’ insurance until she turns 26? Sure, why the hell not!

Hey Scott Brown, so you plan to keep Ayla on your ‘surance till she’s 26, right?

“Of course I do,’’ the Massachusetts Republican told the Globe.

Brown is insuring his daughter Ayla, a professional singer who is 23 years old, under a widely popular provision of the law requiring that family plans cover children up to age 26.

Brown said the extended use of his congressional coverage is not inconsistent with his criticism of the federal law, enacted over his objection after he won a special election in 2010, because the same coverage could be required by individual states.

Sure, sure, that is an excellent distinction, extremely excellent, well-done! Until then, let’s all read this Harvard snob’s paper (again) about how George Washington actually signed laws mandating that seamen (heh) buy health insurance!

The founding fathers, it turns out, passed several mandates of their own. In 1790, the very first Congress—which incidentally included 20 framers—passed a law that included a mandate: namely, a requirement that ship owners buy medical insurance for their seamen. This law was then signed by another framer: President George Washington. That’s right, the father of our country had no difficulty imposing a health insurance mandate.

Good readin’! Now when Antonin Scalia tells us what the Framers wanted, and that is for us not to mandate that seamen (heh) buy health insurance, we can kill ourselves even harder.

Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • CZL


  • AlterNewt

    Mr. Brown, you've got a lovely daughter.

  • ttommyunger

    I'd hit that. I'd punch her old man, too; just for drill.

    • Terry

      If you "hit that", you'd drive a knife right through his heart. The punch would be overkill.

      • ttommyunger

        Overkill is much superior to underkill.

  • Nostrildamus

    Call me cynical, but I have faith that Nino will, somehow, come up with an "originalist" interpretation to match his preconceived political opinion.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Piece of cake: Obviously, they left it out of the Constitution on purpose.

  • hagajim

    Holy seamen Batman….the father of our country was a secret soshulust!

  • bikerlaureate

    Homeopathy coverage "could be required by individual states" too. Or free shark cartilage for everybody…

    • tessiee

      Is Sharkey willing to go along with that?

      • bikerlaureate

        No offense intended to my p-superiors…

  • Generation[redacted]

    Yes, but there are other, secret provisions in the 2,700 page bill that no one could possibly read, which will take away all our freedums unless we act now and allow Scott Brown to save us from the democratic process.

  • edgydrifter

    Shorter Brown: "I already got mine, so I see no need for you to get yours."

    • He's missing the obvious corollary to this assertion: the cure for what Ayla's ya should be a cure avayl-yable to others, too.

    • GOPCrusher

      Kind of like Michele Bachmann complaining about government indoctrination then her son joins AmeriCorps, or complains about government spending while cashing her sweet, sweet, subsidies checks.

  • CapnFatback

    Laws mandating that seamen buy health insurance? That certainly took spunk.

    • chicken_thief

      After passing the law, the Senate took the rest of the day off because they'd pretty much shot their wad.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        And 'twas only the precursor of insurance mandates yet to come.

        • Come here a minute

          The framers didn't really want to do it; they just had a little problem controlling their premature legislation.

  • LettucePrey

    Somehow I blame Ryan Seacrest for all of this. I haven't figured out how yet, but trust me.

    • prommie

      I blame him for everything. Him and Kim Kardashian.

      • Negropolis

        You do know that Ryan is to blame for the Kardashians, right?

  • MissTaken

    Ayla Brown and Seaman are today's Peanut Butter and Chocolate.

    • SorosBot

      Better than being today's Captain and Tenille.

      • GunToting[Redacted]

        The Captain and Tenille live here in my town (outskirts, actually). My buddy did some door work on their house. Said they were nice.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    I wonder how the 99.9% of "professional singers" who aren't zilionaire celebrities got insured, before Obamacare.

  • Oh, I get it. He can get insurance for his daughter, but mine will be told to fuck off and get a real job. You know. Equality

    • chicken_thief

      For the dignity!!!!

      • HistoriCat

        It's your daughter's fault for not finding better parents.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Wha happen to SS pr0n?

  • Freedum's just another word for "Fuck you proles."
    Tax cuts ain't free

  • Looks like poop. Smells like poop. Poop is Brown, yes it is.

    • prommie

      Mayor Koch, the good Koch, famously said "If its yellow, let it mellow, if its brown, flush it down."

  • Baconzgood

    "professional singer"


    • horsedreamer_1

      A slut, just like Carey Mulligan in that movie with Michael Fassbender's dong.

  • OneDollarJuana

    So, using his logic, even though murdering an innocent kid brandishing Skittles is a federal crime, some states consider it legal, so I can do it too, right?

    • chicken_thief

      Only if brown, not Brown.

  • SorosBot

    "the same coverage could be required by individual states."

    Yeah, it could. But then again it might not. I think history like segregation and Jim Crow laws, or the current stick-a-camera-upyour-vagina laws, show that leaving important rules to the states is a monumentally stupid idea.

    • bikerlaureate

      The record number of mixed-race marriages now would seem to support your position.

      Apparently the notion of "state's rights" contains the implicit assumption that their elected leaders aren't bigoted ignoramuses.

  • MissTaken

    Please clarify: Was Ayla wearing the coconut bra or the single one Scott tried to marry off during his victory speech?

    • Tundra Grifter


      [Please see the above.]

      PS: She's got nice coconuts – in a clamshell bra.

  • Oblios_Cap

    All for me, none for thee. Sounds Republican.

  • Tundra Grifter

    In the post-Civil War 19th century, service on US saltwater merchant vessels became so harsh and brutal Captains were reduced to buying sailors from crimps.

    The sailors would drink at a boarding house on credit, be drugged or assulted, and wake up shipboard owing their first three months' pay to the Master. This was known as "working off the dead horse."

    San Francisco was particularly notorious for the practice. Read "Mutiny on the Elsinore" by Jack London.

    • Negropolis

      Remember when the Brits were impressing our soldiers totally helping start the War of 1812?

      • Tundra Grifter

        "Remember?" How old do you think I am?

  • OneYieldRegular

    Mandate (heh).

    • Tundra Grifter

      Not if you work on the (r)Money campaign!

    • And Seamen, also too. Heh heh heh.

  • KennyFuckingPowers

    Another woman looking for the free groin ecology exam. I am not trained in the science but I will fuckin' take a look.

  • Sassomatic

    Oh you have historical facts that completely disprove our argument? That's okay, we'll just deny they exist.

    • prommie

      Or else deploy the semantic distinction.

  • Barb

    Scott Brown's daughter was paid $9500 to sing at campaign events. Enough said.

    • OneDollarJuana

      How many attendees took back their donations after the performance?

    • horsedreamer_1

      The Palin is strong in Scott.

      That said, a Wilson Phillips style project with Ayla Brown, Megz Mc Cabe, & Barbara Bush (granddaughter) would be easy to masturbate to.

  • There were 20 framers in the first Congress???

    I'm surprised so many guys were from the construction business.

  • Republicans now willing to concede and roll back Obamacare in its entirety, with the exception of sailors under 26 years of age.

  • littlebigdaddy

    I wonder if Bristol gets her b.c. pills and herpes treatment paid for by mama grizz's insurance?

    • vodkamuppet

      No, they go to Canada for that.

      • OneDollarJuana

        Or they buy them with their oil checks. Remember, the one reasonable thing that Mama Grizzly did was make sure that AK is a socialist state, at least as far as making the oil industry share the wealth with AK'ans.

        • horsedreamer_1

          Todd is 1/16 Inupiaq, so the Palin brood gets socialist Injun medicine.

          • littlebigdaddy

            The Sedna healthcare network?

  • Here is another fun world wide web internet site

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    So…., George Washington was a Socialist Commie? Did he take money from George Soros?

    Does this all mean that Glenn Beck was right?

  • Toomush_Infer

    Seman be damned! – where does she get her birth control?….

    • Tundra Grifter


  • Tundra Grifter

    That snobby Harvard article left out the most important part.

    Were the seamen forced to purchase broccoli?

    • emmelemm

      Did they have to buy their own limes?

      • Tundra Grifter

        After Capt. Cook, in the British navy limes and sauerkraut were free, as was beer with meals (the water was pretty foul). The daily rum ration was such high proof the modern equivalent would be about a fifth a day.

        Many British sailors had severe mental problems from running full speed 'tween decks and slamming their foreheads against the low beams while drunk.

        Merchant seamen didn't generally have the same problems with scurvey (particularly in the late 19th century) because the voyages were much shorter.

    • George Spelvin

      Broccoli was not invented yet.

      • Tundra Grifter

        Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

        Because chickens hadn't yet been invented.

  • barto

    Quick Scott, move to one of your homes in Californey, then she can stary on till she's 27! Cool, eh?

  • SayItWithWookies

    Scott Brown, you're a sissy. If you don't subject your daughters to uninsured sickness and death, how will the strongest set of genes survive? I say you go out and buy them matching motorcycles, threshers and sets of lawn darts right away, before it's too late.

    • Tundra Grifter

      JARTS libel! We had a set of those – what a terrible idea!

  • PubOption

    Brown sounds like the rest of the teabaggers: against 'Obamacare' but in favor of its content.

    • BarackMyWorld

      You're not stopping to consider their opposition to all the content of Obamacare that doesn't actually exist. Its not enough anymore just to propose policy people want, you also have to not have people imagine policy they don't like.

      • Tundra Grifter

        They didn't "imagine" it – those lies were created to gin up opposition.

        When people actually understand Health Care Reform they support the individual provisions. Who wouldn't?

        • PubOption

          And the Tundra Grifter should be an expert on lies about healthcare.

          • Tundra Grifter

            “The trouble with lying is that the field is over run with amateurs.”

            ~ Mark Twain

        • BarackMyWorld

          Lies come from the imagination, before being fed to the masses.

  • Allmighty_Manos

    Republican hypocrisy? GTF outta here!

  • littlebigdaddy

    Forty-seven ginger-headed sailors!

  • BarackMyWorld

    But he drives a truck! That should negate all his terrible policy positions.

    • PubOption


      It had to be said.

  • horsedreamer_1

    Ayla, I suggest you do what your father didn't — get a job, woman. Your revolution is over! The bums lost! The bums will always lose.

    • gullywompr

      This is our concern, Dude.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      You don't go out and make a living dressed in those clamshells in the middle of a weekday.

      • horsedreamer_1

        Boston has a Scores, doesn't it?

Previous articleA May Day Message For The NYPD, From Their Friends At Occupy Wall Street
Next articleTownhall Columnist Solves Everything: Secret Service Is Addicted To Porn