ONLY TRYING TO HELP  2:45 pm May 1, 2012

Townhall Columnist Solves Everything: Secret Service Is Addicted To Porn

by Liz Colville

her majesty's secret service, pioneer of work vacation prostitution

“What do you suppose are the chances,” wonders Townhall columnist Mona Charen, that the Cartagena Dozen or whatever, like and watch porn? It’s very important that we talk about this, says Ms. Charen, because if we can just know this one thing, maybe it explains everything, and if we can stop porn, maybe we can stop men from going down south and “damag[ing] their marriages and the lives of their children by engaging prostitutes.” Engaging prostitutes! What a turn of phrase. Charen then answers her own question: the chances are “100 percent,” and so now we know what we must do, with this hard science in our grasp. Turn off the Internet. Take a woman’s hand (as long as she is not a prostitute) and talk to her.

After saying that the Cartagena guys are “pornified” (based upon the 2005 book Pornified), Charen goes on some long tangent about a straw 1950s housewife named Betty and her modern straw counterpart, Betty, and how in the ’50s Betty would be scandalized by porn but would smoke to her little heart’s desire, and now the modern Betty thinks cigarettes are disgusting but will enjoy porn of all varieties to her heart’s desire thinks porn is OK, and her husband watches it, which she is fine with, because she is sometimes tired at night, and so is he, because he watches porn all day.

And all this is to say…those men in Cartagena and future visitors to this buzzed-about resort spot could be stopped if Future Betty would swoop down and teach us that both smoking and porn ought to make us gag, not one or the other.

Like smoking, porn is not an innocent pleasure. At a 2003 meeting of the Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, 62 percent of attendees said that Internet porn had contributed to divorces in the previous year.

Yes. Porn is a gateway drug, the gateway to which is people enjoying weddings too much and hating each other and never doing it. But let us propose for a moment that the Secret Service is a gateway to an inflated sense of power and control? And that owing to the belief that women are fair and weak and are better as secretaries and porn stars, there are usually no women around the Secret Service to prevent it from turning into a gross boys’ club? Oh, but your Wonkette is an “ette” and so can’t pretend to know anything, that is probably just an ignorant and sexist thing to say about men.

Charen does quote from Pornified, give her credit, written by current New (LIBERAL) York Times Book Review editor Pamela Paul, in making her argument that the men down in Cartagena probably can’t “relate to or be close to” women (except prostitutes) due to all the porn that they are watching but which most other people aren’t, except sex offenders and people who have “risky sex.” This is a conclusion drawn in Paul’s book, despite the fact that it is, in Charen’s words “hard to prove with statistics.” Despite this, Charen says it is in fact the “heart of the matter” in the Cartagena case. A totally theoretical concept based on a random sampling of men interviewed for a book that was published in 2005. Yes, this is The Way We News Now! Bye. [Townhall, regrettably]

 
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{ 134 comments }

nounverb911 May 1, 2012 at 2:22 pm

"Secret Service Is Addicted To Porn"
So are most republicans.

niblick77 May 1, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Well, maybe gay porn………….

RedneckMuslin May 1, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Hey! Don't call me a republican!

elviouslyqueer May 1, 2012 at 3:45 pm

No no. Republicans just happen to have an inordinate fondness for porn, particularly the "prepubescent boybutt" ouevre. What they're really addicted to is giving each other feces facials.

Nostrildamus May 1, 2012 at 3:56 pm

♪♫♪♬ You say "fecial" and I say "facial". ♪♫♪♬

Stevola May 2, 2012 at 2:04 am

Please, let's call the whole thing off!

Callyson May 1, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Well, they certainly are obscene…

Barb May 1, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Michele Bachman is cross eyed and batshit crazy. This is what happens when you don't get a little smut into your life now and then.

sharethegrief May 1, 2012 at 2:30 pm

That's so unfair to Michele. Marcus enjoys his fantasy smut every time he gets a new client.

sullivanst May 1, 2012 at 3:01 pm

That doesn't much impact her, though, now, does it?

Negropolis May 2, 2012 at 12:36 am

Well, if giving your wife multiple new STDs because of your secret, unprotected sexytimes doesn't "much impact her."

I don't know if this is the case, but it'd be irresponsible not to speculate!

GOPCrusher May 1, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Why do I get the impression that Michele likes dressing up like a SS officer and punishing Marcus on a regular basis.

starfanglednut May 1, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Limey Lizzie libel!

ttommyunger May 1, 2012 at 2:23 pm

I guess I can believe that Mona Charen is still alive, but I can't believe anyone still reads her.

LetUsBray May 1, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Back in the early '90s when I lived in the Midwest the Kansas City Star used to carry Mona Harridan's column. I see she hasn't gotten any smarter, or less sanctimonious.

Baconzgood May 1, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Man, now I need a Hustler and a Winston.

metamarcisf May 1, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Ain't nobody gonna stop this guy from going down south!

tbogg May 1, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Porn is the antidote for Mona Charen

Baconzgood May 1, 2012 at 2:25 pm

NEEDZ MOAR ANAL!!!!

Not_So_Much May 1, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Bristol, is that you?

EtchySketchy May 1, 2012 at 2:28 pm

I remember 1950's Betty, she worked the help desk at Milf-town regional library.

Rowr.

littlebigdaddy May 1, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Milftown? Isn't that on highway 69, halfway between Cougarville and Beaverton?

Negropolis May 2, 2012 at 12:37 am

"So I says to Mabel, I says…"

HateMachine May 1, 2012 at 2:29 pm

I'm not addicted to porn, I'm addicted to orgasms.

Goonemeritus May 1, 2012 at 2:52 pm

When she gets done ridding the world of porn she should take five minutes and solve world hunger and complete the unified field theory.

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 1, 2012 at 2:53 pm

“damag[ing] their marriages and the lives of their children by engaging prostitutes.”

Engaging prostitutes? Does this mean they were looking for multiple wives?

Is this all Mitt Romney's fault?

chicken_thief May 1, 2012 at 3:14 pm

Of course not. It's clearly Hussein Obummerz fault cause he wouldn't pimp out Shellz.

Toomush_Infer May 1, 2012 at 2:53 pm

Well, there's your solution right there!: throw out the Secret Service and replace it with the Youth Anti-Sex League…..problem solved!…..

prommie May 1, 2012 at 2:53 pm

This is great, you can prove anything this way, take a group of people who are known to have done something bad (an act we can call "act A"), just assume that they did something else, (act B) and then conclude that "doing act B leads to doing act A."

Charles Manson and the Manson Family committed mass murder. I bet they all also smoked pot before that; therefore, smoking pot leads to mass murder.

Rome's civilization collapsed. There were homosexuals in Rome. Therefore, if you have homosexuals in your civilization, it will collapse.

There are lots of guns in the South; there are an enormous number of gun deathsin the South, therefore, high rates of gun ownership leads to more gun deaths. ha ha, just kidding, in this case, this proves that there would have been EVEN MORE murders in the South if they didn't have so many guns!

MissTaken May 1, 2012 at 2:56 pm

Members of the Secret Service visited prostitutes. I'm sure those same members drink water. Therefore, drinking water leads to engaging prostitutes.

Fare la Volpe May 1, 2012 at 8:22 pm

You know who else drank a lot of water?

Jukesgrrl May 1, 2012 at 4:31 pm

May we surmise that fapping every day leads to Wonkette?

MissTaken May 1, 2012 at 2:53 pm

if we can stop porn, maybe we can stop men from going down south

NOOOOO!!!!!

Judith_Priest May 1, 2012 at 3:03 pm

My sentiment exactly.

SorosBot May 1, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Ah, you don't have to worry about me ever stopping that.

MissTaken May 1, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Watching porn? I knew that already.

SorosBot May 1, 2012 at 3:10 pm

You silly.

Jus_Wonderin May 1, 2012 at 2:53 pm

If porn were outlawed………………………

Toomush_Infer May 1, 2012 at 2:54 pm

BTW: I knew Betty, back in the 1950s…..she should keep her mouth shut…. I did….

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 1, 2012 at 2:55 pm

You know, I'm pretty sure that many of our brave soilders ((TM) the Republican Party), serving in Iraq and Afghanistan have enjoyed a little porn while overseas. Maybe porn is what allows them to fight so bravely? Maybe we should make sure that more and more people get some porn now and then. Like Mona Charen?

Fare la Volpe May 1, 2012 at 8:30 pm

I've known several guys over in Afghanistan. If they didn't have a regular stream of porn they'd be fucking their gun barrels.

Eve8Apples May 1, 2012 at 2:56 pm

Tits or GTFO!

Sharkey May 1, 2012 at 2:56 pm

We can still have video games, right? Sexy, sexy video games…

NSFW: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ccc-AXIFKMU

EatsBabyDingos May 1, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Mona never was much of a mona.

Sharkey May 1, 2012 at 3:22 pm

"Here she comes now sayin' Mona Mona"

Mumbletypeg May 1, 2012 at 2:59 pm

oh… why am I laughing… not because Charen is ridiculous, which she is.. but because Colville's derision of her is hilarious, and deserved…

Chichikovovich May 1, 2012 at 2:59 pm

We should back off a little, because Charen's article does have one piece of life-changing practical counsel from a 100% Ivy League social-scientist person:

Mary Anne Layden, of the Sexual Trauma and Psychopathology program at the University of Pennsylvania, reports that young people who view porn are more likely to have multiple sexual partners,…

If only I could get in a time machine and tell the young Chichikovovich this vital piece of advice.

SorosBot May 1, 2012 at 3:14 pm

Uh, multiple just means more than one. That would include just about everybody, except weird people who get married to their high school sweethearts.

Chichikovovich May 1, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Shoor. But if you increase your chances to have more than one, you increase your chances to have more than two, right? And more than n for arbitrary n? That's just, like, counting and stuff.

Negropolis May 2, 2012 at 12:44 am

Slippery slope! Slippery slope!

sullivanst May 1, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Yes, it's regrettable that Townhall exists, fucking cesspool that it is.

Let us suppose that Charen is correct in that the primary cause of the use of prostitutes is the watching of internet porn. In that case, what would we expect to see in history, in particular the part of history (almost all of it, Katie) where the internet did not exist? Less prostitution, of course. But, while the internet is not the oldest infrastructure, prostitution is "the oldest profession".

And so, to sum up: Mona Charen, you're a fucking braindead moron. The end.

vodkamuppet May 1, 2012 at 3:00 pm

But I'm unemployed, what else am I supposed to do besides beat-off and smoke cigarettes all day? Turning in resumes gets to be a downer after a while.

SorosBot May 1, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Yay, someone else in the same boat! I just love sending my resume off to the black hole all day long.

vodkamuppet May 1, 2012 at 3:53 pm

Yeah, it's a miracle I even bother shaving anymore. Sure glad the recession's over!

Mumbletypeg May 1, 2012 at 5:55 pm

Jay-sus.. I am sorry to hear this, b/c I thought or inferred from earlier posts you were employed. Did the job loss happen recently? If you've already detailed it from before, just link me to it. That really bites.

chicken_thief May 1, 2012 at 3:19 pm

I'm fully employed, but that still sounds like a productive day to me. Add beer and it's pretty much the story of my life.

vodkamuppet May 1, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Depends on how you define 'productive'.

prommie May 1, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Have you tried drinking? Fleischman's gin is only $11.99 a half-gallon. And there is always weed, too!

vodkamuppet May 1, 2012 at 3:49 pm

I'm a vodka man but yes I've definetly tried it. 5th of Arrow only runs me 7 bucks and thats at the expensive liquor store. My liver is really starting to object though and weed doesn't do anything for me. Time to move on to pills.

GOPCrusher May 1, 2012 at 3:54 pm

You can afford weed on unemployment? I'm going to quit my job because I can't afford weed now.

Mumbly_Joe May 1, 2012 at 4:12 pm

I'm pretty sure the way it actually works is you sell weed while you're unemployed. At least, that's the impression I've gotten from watching Showtime series, and also from being able to do basic arithmatic vis a vis the average unemployment payment and the cost of subsistence in America circa 2012.

SorosBot May 1, 2012 at 4:12 pm

If only I could afford alcohol, or had a way of getting a hold of weed.

Fare la Volpe May 1, 2012 at 8:21 pm

Have you tried leaning out your window and yelling "Anybody got any weed?"

Always worked for me.

BornInATrailer May 1, 2012 at 3:00 pm

"At a 2003 meeting of the Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, 62 percent of attendees said that Internet porn had contributed to divorces in the previous year."

I'm guessing the question asked to the lawyers was how many of them had worked on divorces last year where porn was a contributing factor. And if I'm correct, that 62 percent includes lawyers where all their cases were pr0n related plus lawyers where they only had one case. Oh, statistics, you scamp.

For that matter, it might have included cases where the ladies really enjoyed the smut but their bug-in-the-ass husbands were too prudish. I mean, who reads those romance pulps about turgid members and glistening lady-gates? It ain't dudes.

Boojum May 1, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Or maybe it included cases where one partner turned to porn for fapping material after the other stopped having sex.

prommie May 1, 2012 at 3:53 pm

When you want out, your partner's breathing can drive you to rage, they way they talk while chewing, their laugh, seriously, you cannot take any complaint or allegation in any divorce s evidence of anything, unless it caused scars.

SorosBot May 1, 2012 at 3:02 pm

What are the chances that the Secret Service agents watch porn? Well, since every single post-pubescent person in the world who has access to it watches porn, I would say 100%.

And yes Mona Charen, we know that includes you; you're not fooling anybody.

owhatever May 1, 2012 at 3:02 pm

Remember, Mona: PORN is NROP spelled backward! I rest my case.

Toomush_Infer May 1, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Yeah, but SMUT is TUMS backwards, so there…..

weejee May 1, 2012 at 3:02 pm

Wasn't Caligula criticized for all his downloading of porn from the Marblenet?

Not_So_Much May 1, 2012 at 3:02 pm

Not even 'Science' can refudiate this logic.

HippieEsq May 1, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Dear Porn:

If you need a lawyer, call me.

HippieEsq.

P.S. rates are hourly, sort of like prostitutes.

Jus_Wonderin May 1, 2012 at 3:40 pm

What! You won't take the case, pro boner?

HippieEsq May 1, 2012 at 3:51 pm

Nah. Pockets (among other things) run deep in the porn industry.

Blueb4sunrise May 1, 2012 at 3:04 pm
ManchuCandidate May 1, 2012 at 3:06 pm

You'll get my porn when you take it from my cold dead sticky hands.

valthemus May 1, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Wonkette comments are the cure for exposure to Townhall.

Limeylizzie May 1, 2012 at 3:07 pm

OT Barry is en route to Kabul just landed in Afghanistan. What's that little stinker up to? Will speak to nation-that's us-tonight.

RedneckMuslin May 1, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Betcha he'll be talkin' to a bunch of muslins.

GOPCrusher May 1, 2012 at 4:07 pm

Probably discussing how best to implement Sharia Law and up heroin shipments to the U.S.

MissTaken May 1, 2012 at 3:08 pm

What about that new Mommy porn book? Does this mean that all the ladies who lunch will turn into hookers while wearing the latest Lululemon?

Boojum May 1, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Oh God, please?

LiveToServeYa May 1, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Hell hath no fury like a prostitute insufficiently engaged.

prommie May 1, 2012 at 3:30 pm

They Looove premature ejaculation, though! Thats like getting off work early.

RedneckMuslin May 1, 2012 at 3:34 pm

insufficiently paid

Negropolis May 2, 2012 at 1:00 am

Hell hath no fury like a prostitute underpaid.

valthemus May 1, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Lord, please let the Republicans launch a full on campaign against porn and thus guarantee that none of them will never ever win another election again ever. Amen.

OneDollarJuana May 1, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Let us not forget that the Red states buy more porn than the Blue states, and that Utah is No. 1!

SheriffRoscoe May 1, 2012 at 3:13 pm

What does Ms Charen think about men who watch porn whilst concurrently fucking a prostitute? Because I, for one, think that is just sick.

Sharkey May 1, 2012 at 3:26 pm

But it's okay if the porn stars are watching porn while doing it…

GOPCrusher May 1, 2012 at 4:08 pm

See, and that's why I would think it would suck being a porn star. What would do in your free time for entertainment?

HistoriCat May 1, 2012 at 4:48 pm

Maybe they comment on Wonkette?

Fare la Volpe May 1, 2012 at 8:27 pm

Cheese it, girls! We're found out!

SayItWithWookies May 1, 2012 at 3:15 pm

Mona Charen — more boring than most porn. And still not amusing when you hit fast forward.

Jus_Wonderin May 1, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Slow reverse is kinda cute though.

Wile E. Quixote May 1, 2012 at 4:28 pm

She doesn't get any better if you add a bow-chicka-bow-wow soundtrack either.

orygoon May 1, 2012 at 3:15 pm

The Spare recently told me that if porn were banished from the Web, the intertubes would collapse to have one website only

–which would be called "BRING BACK THE PORN"

Geminisunmars May 1, 2012 at 3:18 pm

It is all the fault of modern civilization. Before the internet, before movies, and magazines and printed material, prostitution didn't exist.

Jus_Wonderin May 1, 2012 at 3:19 pm

I mean, with a name like Mona Charen…she's 1/2 way there. Sign up hun. It's just a few minutes of faked ecstacy.

Geminisunmars May 1, 2012 at 3:24 pm

'50s smoking Betty became '60s Smokin' Betty Draper. (aka Washing Machine Betty.)

SockBunny May 1, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Porn saved my marriage. There are millions of us.

keinsignal May 1, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Good god, that might be the most… prim thing I've ever read. I wonder what it must be like inside this woman's skull. (I mean, what are her thought processes like, not, um, whatever you were thinking I meant).

I am guessing either she is secretly full-tilt gonzo Orly-Taitz-level crazy in the sack, or else she's so fully inhibited she's had her asshole surgically removed for aesthetic purposes.

Jus_Wonderin May 1, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Well, I have heard she squeaks when she walks.

Negropolis May 2, 2012 at 1:16 am

ROTFLMAO!

SoBeach May 1, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Wait a minute. I thought the Secret Service dudes hired hookers because, duh, Obama.

Now it's because of porn?

Only way to resolve this and restore order to the universe is to blame Obama for porn.

prommie May 1, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Yeah, but porn is because of Obama.

Wile E. Quixote May 1, 2012 at 3:49 pm

In her next column Mona will explain that porn is because of Obama, because you know how the blahs are with their smooth, sultry voices, cool moves and huge penii and "take me now Barack Mandinka! take me now!"

Mondo_Cane May 1, 2012 at 7:13 pm

Wait – I thought it was gay marriage causing all the problems –

Chichikovovich May 1, 2012 at 3:28 pm

In Greek mythology, Charon was the ferryman who carried souls from the vibrant world of the living to the joyless, bleak underworld, devoid of pleasure or hope.

What? I'm just passing on a piece of information, is all.

Jus_Wonderin May 1, 2012 at 3:38 pm

We were also introduced to Lokai and Bele from the planet Cheron. "But can't you see? He's black on the left side. I'm black on the right side."

Negropolis May 2, 2012 at 1:17 am

Pluto libel!

Chow Yun Flat May 1, 2012 at 3:31 pm

This is a conclusion drawn in Paul’s book, despite the fact that it is, in Charen’s words “hard to prove with statistics.” rational thought.

Terry May 1, 2012 at 3:33 pm

So, before the internet and cable tv made porn readily available, men were innocents who didn't know how to obtain porn? Wasn't it at most gas stations and convenience stores, let alone those adult stores over in the dodgy part of town?

SoBeach May 1, 2012 at 3:44 pm

And before that it was available in statues, mosaics, paintings, literature, poetry, music…

OneYieldRegular May 1, 2012 at 3:33 pm

The Way We Science Now:

At a 2003 meeting of the Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, 62 percent of attendees said that Internet porn had contributed to divorces in the previous year.

"Hi, excuse me, I'm taking a poll. Did internet porn contribute to any divorce last year?"

"Well, maybe, yeah, probably."

"Thanks."

Mahousu May 1, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Actually, the heart of the matter is that certain Secret Service agents are cheapskates. If she says $300, you don't give her $30 and pretend you got confused about currency conversion rates.

I'll bet these same guys are also bad tippers at restaurants. Now there is a major crime.

prommie May 1, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Can I really be the first to say "today, we are all . . . .

keinsignal May 1, 2012 at 3:57 pm

…pornography?

Fare la Volpe May 1, 2012 at 8:31 pm

…Fapping?

JustPixelz May 1, 2012 at 3:47 pm

"…62 percent of attendees said that Internet porn had contributed to divorces in the previous year."

What the fuck kind of statistic is that? If an attendee had just one case that involved porn or heard of a case that involved porn or imagined a case that involved porn, he or she would be part of the 62%.

Meanwhile, demand for porn rises because of fear of STDs, lower costs thanks to market forces, and — it must be said — freedom. Some of those are good things from a Mona Charen perspective.

sullivanst May 1, 2012 at 3:53 pm

I gotta say, freedom from Mona Charen is a beautiful thing.

Callyson May 1, 2012 at 3:49 pm

At a 2003 meeting of the Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, 62 percent of attendees said that Internet porn had contributed to divorces in the previous year.

It's my turn at the computer!

No, it's *my* turn!

That's it, this marriage is over…

ifthethunderdontgetya May 1, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Cave men used to draw porn on the walls.

Q.E.D. Porn leads to evolution, and then all hell breaks out.
~

elburritodeluxe May 1, 2012 at 3:55 pm

This country has gone downhill since the Democrats invented pornography in the 60s.

BornInATrailer May 1, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Townhall comment:
"Troll writes: "Nothing wrong with pornography."

I'm afraid that there is, Troll. If you collect and view pornography, you're a dirtbag. That's just how it is, and for obvious reasons."

But what if it is all porn I made? I'd like to hear the argument against that. And I'd reply if I had a townhall.com login. Which I don't. Because I'm not insane.

gurukalehuru May 1, 2012 at 4:21 pm

Oh, Mona, Mona, Mona, Secret Service guys aren't addicted to porn -they're addicted to poon. Of course, porn is all about poon, but so is everything, really.

Wile E. Quixote May 1, 2012 at 4:25 pm

So since the state of Utah has the highest rate of internet porn consumption in the United States does this mean that we shouldn't vote for Mitt Romney in November. After all, he's a Mormon too, I can just imagine how much time he spends surfing sites where the women aren't wearing magical underwear made out of old flour sacks.

GOPCrusher May 1, 2012 at 4:50 pm

And since everything is available on the Internet, right now in some trailer in Provo, UT. some guy his pulling his pud looking at a website dedicated to women that wear underwear made from old flour sacks.

Wile E. Quixote May 1, 2012 at 4:26 pm

I wonder if she wrote this column while she was waiting for a plumber to show up and lay some pipe, if you know what I mean.

Chet Kincaid May 1, 2012 at 4:32 pm

Mona Charen is a modern day Carrie Nation, going house to house with her battle-axe of Sexless Love, breaking filthy husbands' porn-covered laptop monitors!! Put it away or lose it, degenerates!!

Gainsbourg69 May 1, 2012 at 5:35 pm

All I know about the fifties is that grandpa had a house for the family and a tiny apartment he shared with a lady friend. Oh, and grandma went to mass every day.

criminogenic May 1, 2012 at 6:21 pm

Wonkette fail: where is Princess Leia dancing for Jabba? it is inherant to any imagery of formative porn and a lack there-of, a fortiori, diminishes all following discussion.

Engage tractor beam!

hey lady you've just engaged my tractor beam!

Negropolis May 2, 2012 at 12:13 am

Mona, porn don't give you cancer.

DocChaos May 2, 2012 at 12:55 am

It's a widely known fact, that prior to the wide availability of porn, prostitution was virtually unknown.

As any conservative can tell you, this is really the fault of feminists and gays. Feminists for insisting men consider the wishes of their sexual partners, something porn doesn't demand, and the gays for making them think about buttsex, which their spouses are often reluctant to provide, but porn stars apparently can't get enough of.

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