Allen West: How Dare Obama 'Laugh' And 'Dine' At Dinner Where Allen West Laughed And Dined

Oh, Florida Congressman/war criminal Allen West, what would our days and nights be without you saying crazy shit and committing war crimes? QUICK, WATCH OUT, a TERRORIST! Haha, made you look. But whyfore are you mad NOW, Mister Congressman? Let us visit MyFace, the thinking man and woman's repository for the greatest in political word vomit, and find out!

On Saturday night I was honored to be invited to the White House Correspondents Association dinner. There was much glam, glamour, and humor flowing. However, as I walked from the Washington Hilton in the rain to catch the METRO back to the Batcave, I pondered life outside that ballroom and the pomp. While the President laughs and dines, our Constitutional Republic is eroding and my countrymen are suffering. In this election year, it is sad to think that some of those who were sitting in that ballroom Saturday night laughing and living it up, are helping to perpetuate the manipulation and deception of our country.

What about you, Allen West? Did you also laugh and dine, or did you have your petit filet and eat it too?

We are sure Congressman West did not in fact laugh, as his face was frozen into a permanent scowl sometime in the Carter Administration. But did he dine? On:

Salad: Black Lentil Terrine with lump Crabmeat, Tango Green and Red Artisan Greens, Red and Yellow Tear Drop Tomatoes -- drizzled with a Dill Vinaigrette

Bread Presentation: Seven-Grain Rolls, White and Wheat Rolls; Sourdough Rolls, Flatbreads and butter

Entrée: Texas Rubbed Petite Filet with a Calvados Demi, paired with Duo of Jumbo Shrimp seasoned with Red Curry; Roasted Haricot Verts, Baby Pepper, Patty Pan Squash; Tasso Mache Choux Risotto

Dessert: The Galaxy -- Rich Chocolate Truffle Mousse layered with Chocolate Genoise and Almond Macaroon, Ganache Truffle Center finished in a chocolate glaze, garnished with fresh raspberries

Freshly brewed regular and decaff coffee; variety of regular and herbal teas

Wines: Estancia Chardonnay and Cabernet Sauvignon

Fuck that noise! "Haricot verts"? "Black lentil terrine"? That is Whole Foods Hippie Socialist Vegan Volvo Nonsense, and Allen West is a real American, the dead-eyed kind. Instead, he just pulled an alligator MRE from his suit pocket and consumed it in mirthless anger, as that is just how Allen West rolls.

(Also, The Hill points out that Jimmy Kimmel zinged West, so that is probably why he is butt-hurt, besides all the other reasons he is butt-hurt forever. We do not know, as we did not watch Jimmy Kimmel, because he is not Barack Obama duh.) [ Facebook, via TheHill ]