WATCH OUT BUSH AND CHENEY  9:34 pm April 30, 2012

The Wonkette Geopoliticker: Congrats On Getting Rid Of Your War Criminal, Liberia!

by John Schoenkopf

Cannibal Lecter.World renowned sicko and former Liberian prez Charles Taylor is the first head of state to be convicted by an international tribunal since the Nuremberg Trials after World War II. (Nah guys, Pinochet was just Spain.) Who says that there’s no such thing as international law? Up next at The Hague is Laurent Gbagbo, the former Côte d’Ivoire president who had his citizens raped and murdered; in addition, an arrest warrant has been issued for President Omar al-Bashir of Sudan, who presides over a little region called Darfur.

But like a lot of sub-Saharan Africa, Liberia is looking up! Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, elected in 2005 and again in 2011, is a Nobel Peace Prize winner, a far cry from the cannibal, serial-rapist murderer she took over for. Everyone Loves Her. For the fiscally conservative, she’s a former Citibank VP who inherited a country with $4.9 billion in debt and reduced that to virtually nothing in just a few years. For you liberals, she’s good on gay/lesbian/transgender stuff, on a continent where that’s very hard to be politically (and personally). She even won the highly coveted and prestigious 2011 African Gender Award. But her best move so far has been pushing back against a tire company that’s been fucking her country up since the 1920s.

Along with Ethiopia, Liberia is one of only two African nations to have never been a “colony.” (Although it does have looong ties to the US, as we sent a few folks there after magnaminously deciding they didn’t have to be slaves anymore.) But being a neo-colony is maybe worse: people are still raping your resources, but they don’t have any social or civic ties or even lip-service to civic responsibility. Liberia has the world’s best rubber forests, by far. The world uses a ton of rubber. Yet Liberia is one of the poorest countries on Earth, because the ‘owner’ of these rubber forests is this guy. Who? For God’s sake, he was a “The Bachelor.” So Andrew Firestone gets rich off good rubber growin’ (although he does make a lovely merlot) while Liberians get child slavery and $3 a day.

Firestone, under previous Liberian regimes, has controlled one million acres, which is four percent of the country’s area and 10 percent of its arable land. Under Sirleaf’s administration, it’s been scaled back to 100,000 acres, a 90 percent reduction. Local farmers are now using the 900,000 acres that were conceded.

When you look at the huge amounts of timber, oil, diamonds, iron ore, gold, and of course rubber found there, and at the transparency and fairness of the current administration, it’s clear that Liberia’s stock is going up. Seeing the former warlord president go to jail is just icing on the cake.

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 144 comments }

Barb April 30, 2012 at 9:37 pm

Oh John, I want to bake cookies for you and cheer you up. Just let me know where to send them, please.

redarmyzombie May 1, 2012 at 6:19 pm

Similarly, I can make a mean espresso brownies with wine frosting (oh, they're good)!

johnnyzhivago April 30, 2012 at 9:40 pm

There's a lot to absorb in this article, like the idea that Africa isn't just one country.

johnnyzhivago April 30, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Africa hasn't been the same since the days of King Leopold of Belgium.

WunkRocker May 1, 2012 at 12:15 pm

Also Taylor should have stuck to his line of Converse sneakers.

swordfis April 30, 2012 at 9:43 pm

"Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, elected in 2005 and again in 2011, is a Nobel Peace Prize winner, a far cry from the cannibal, serial-rapist murderer she took over for. "

Strange coincidence – Barack Obama is also a Nobel Prizewinner who took over from a similar gentleman.

Terry May 1, 2012 at 7:51 am

In Dubya's defense, there's no evidence that he's actually a cannibal.

Biff May 1, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Well, he hasn't denied it.

Fukui-sanYesOta April 30, 2012 at 9:46 pm

Ethiopia was conquered by Italy in the 30s. Along with Libya, which is why the Italians were so fucking keen to beat shit out of Libya recently.

edit: and thank fuck Charles Taylor got what he deserved. It's a shame Slobodan Milosevic didn't live to get the same.

anniegetyerfun May 1, 2012 at 12:35 am

I'm always amazed when Ethiopians tell me that their country was never a colony.

Oddly enough, the third-highest ranking Google search for "Italy in Ethiopia" is (at least for me), from my alma mater.

Fukui-sanYesOta May 1, 2012 at 3:26 am

It was never really a colony as per modern interpretation, but it was under, um, colonial rule I guess? Perhaps "external rule" would be a more accurate phrasing.

Your alma mater looks like a cracking school, if a bit papist (joke).

in 2011-2012, Mount Holyoke is one of the nation's top producers of Fulbright Scholarships

can't knock that.

BaldarTFlagass May 1, 2012 at 7:47 am

Ethiopia was never a colony in the sense of "Nigeria was a colony of Britain." More in the sense that "Poland was a colony of Germany," but with less Jews and more blahs.

Chow Yun Flat May 1, 2012 at 8:09 am

I think that Ethiopia wins by a technicality. Eritrea which has been both a province of Ethiopia and an independent country was an Italian colony from the mid 1880s. The Italians invaded and occupied the Ethiopia from Eritrea but were expelled by the British during WW II.

Terry May 1, 2012 at 7:53 am

So, what's up with the The Hague? Why are they finally going after these guys?

I saw this weekend that a group of middle class Greeks are trying to bring charges at The Hague against the Greek government for genocide, among other things, due to the precipitous fall in the quality of life there since the crash.

owhatever April 30, 2012 at 9:47 pm

I knew all that.

memzilla April 30, 2012 at 9:48 pm

Now I'm jealous of Liberia for getting their incompetent, war-mongering, illegally-appointed, tool-of-the-plutocrats ex-dictator in front of The Hague before we got ours in front of The Hague.

Designer_Rants April 30, 2012 at 10:05 pm

My only regret about your excellent comment is that it won't rightfully fit on a bumper sticker.

Radiotherapy April 30, 2012 at 10:20 pm

Cheney: The American Charles Taylor

Fukui-sanYesOta April 30, 2012 at 10:30 pm

That works. That man is pure Evil.

Designer_Rants April 30, 2012 at 10:36 pm

Nice. Also reminds me of this.

Radiotherapy April 30, 2012 at 10:44 pm

I'm not a bumper sticker sort, but I would proudly put that on my Matador.

BaldarTFlagass May 1, 2012 at 7:51 am

Also regrettable is that only 2 or 3 percent of Americans know who Charles Taylor is. Or what's a Liberia.

CivicHoliday May 1, 2012 at 11:23 am

Actually I'd wager it's less than 2%. I'm pretty sure most US 'Murikans think that Charles Taylor makes cool shoes.

savethispatient April 30, 2012 at 9:48 pm

Liberia and Ethiopia: the two African countries a Britisher doesn't have to feel quite as guilty about.

sullivanst May 1, 2012 at 8:54 am

There's plenty of African nations a Britisher doesn't have to feel terribly guilty about: there's the ones the French fucked over, and the Congo is on the Belgians. We're only on the hook for what… 1/3 of the continent?

iburl April 30, 2012 at 9:48 pm

OK, Liberia….President Obama supported the uprising, correct? President Obama called for the removal of Charlie – just want to make sure we're talking about the same thing before I say yes, I agree, or no, I didn't agree. I do not agree with the way he handled it for the following reason – nope, that's a different one….I gotta go back and see – um, I got all this stuff twirling around in my head….Specifically, what are you asking me. Did I agree or not disagree with Obama?

Mumbletypeg April 30, 2012 at 9:50 pm

Shall I take this as good* news? Do I dare to eat a peach?

* So refreshing on teh wonkettes, I keep 'refreshing' my browser to make sure I'm reading this correctly: someone got the justice they deserved belatedly, and for the Liberian people a new leader that sounds like someone dreamed her up~

Designer_Rants April 30, 2012 at 10:09 pm

I wish the ladies would just get it over with and snap some sort of limiting collars on the males, then take over. Not saying all of you girls are good at running things, but I've seen how the guys try to make everything about their dicks. You can do better than that. I'm sure of it.

Radiotherapy April 30, 2012 at 10:47 pm

Mumbletypeg/Warren '16

commiegirl May 1, 2012 at 8:34 am

Fuck that, try Warren/Mumbletypeg! Why are you so sexist!

Swampgas_Man May 1, 2012 at 11:34 am

Call and raise you Maggie Thatcher.

Designer_Rants May 1, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Even though, from what I gather, she was the female Reagan, at least she studied science/chemistry…

fuflans April 30, 2012 at 11:25 pm

dare eat that peach

and i shall wear my trousers rolled.

LionHeartSoyDog May 1, 2012 at 12:26 am

And scrabble along the ocean floor…

(?)

Mumbletypeg May 1, 2012 at 12:37 am

Bidding farewell to Nat'l Poetry Month, we are~

littlebigdaddy May 1, 2012 at 1:01 am

And listen to the mermaids singing each to each.

emmelemm May 1, 2012 at 3:18 am

Til human voices wake us (a new crop of terrible Wonket stories tomorrow am) and we drown (our sorrows in another drink).

Fukui-sanYesOta April 30, 2012 at 9:51 pm

Both Italy and France have come to accept that they're the catamites of Europe.

Good food, though.

Chet Kincaid May 1, 2012 at 12:31 am

Wow, it will take them forever to dig out from beneath your contempt!

Fukui-sanYesOta May 1, 2012 at 1:11 am

Heh, I love both countries. It's just that as a Britisher I have to do it.

BaldarTFlagass May 1, 2012 at 7:44 am

"Wogs start at Calais Dover."

Chet Kincaid May 1, 2012 at 9:36 am

As they say in England, "wogs start at our daughters' vaginas."

Fukui-sanYesOta May 1, 2012 at 3:51 am

Now I've had a couple of rum drinks too many and I'll tell stories about why I love both Italy and France.

The Italy one I've told before: turning up with my parents, my brother and his girlfriend and me and my (American) wife, wife had left her passport on the plane. Being Easyjet it fucked off, so no chance of getting it back. Italian customs agents said "find us when you get it back" and then conveniently disappeared to let us go through immigration unmolested.

Well, that and Italy is a fantastic country full of gourmets. Yum. Can't wait to go back.

France is a funny place. Paris is wonderful and I'd advise everyone to go – but learn a little French first. You don't want to be the Americans I saw in a pizza place in Paris yelling "KETCHUP! KETCHUP!" at a French waiter who was pretending to be Italian. I foxed the cunt by ordering in Italian; not that my Italian is much cop, but it was better than his. Just don't be the loud, shouty American and all should be well.

Oh, I have more stories, but I don't want to bore you fine people.

SexySmurf April 30, 2012 at 9:55 pm

But her best move so far has been pushing back against a tire company that’s been fucking her country up since the 1920s.

That was actually Mitt Romney's idea.

Designer_Rants April 30, 2012 at 10:09 pm

Oh ya. I remember. Something about an op-ed.

ph7 April 30, 2012 at 9:58 pm

Rubber for rubbers, not tires!

bagofmice April 30, 2012 at 11:35 pm

Make love, not wheels?

MosesInvests April 30, 2012 at 11:57 pm

Bicycle tires are cool, though, right? "Four wheels bad, two wheels good."

BaldarTFlagass May 1, 2012 at 7:55 am

No spill oil! Who breaks the law goes back to the House of Firestone.

sewollef May 1, 2012 at 8:55 am

Got something against trainer wheels my friend?

Some four wheels are good.

Geminisunmars May 1, 2012 at 12:48 am

And dildos.

Swampgas_Man May 1, 2012 at 11:35 am

You're better off w/ silicone.

Geminisunmars May 1, 2012 at 12:51 pm

But do you get off better w/ silicone?

Swampgas_Man May 1, 2012 at 9:10 pm

Actually, since silicone warms to the touch, studies show users DO get off better w/ it.

Monsieur_Grumpe April 30, 2012 at 9:59 pm

Too bad he's heading to jail. I understand he was on the short list for Mitt's VP choices.

Radiotherapy April 30, 2012 at 10:49 pm

Is America ready for a black VP?

littlebigdaddy May 1, 2012 at 1:02 am

Alan West libel!

Schmannnity April 30, 2012 at 9:59 pm

"she’s a former Citibank VP who inherited a country with $4.9 billion in debt and reduced that to virtually nothing in just a few years."

$16 trillion in U.S. national debt awaits your able hands.

Guppy April 30, 2012 at 9:59 pm

What are you, the Anti-Newell?

Designer_Rants April 30, 2012 at 10:11 pm

It's the pseudonym Jim takes on when he's furious at a tire company.

Guppy April 30, 2012 at 10:19 pm

Except this post is full of "looking up," while Newell is full of "looking down (at the bottom of a bottle)."

Fukui-sanYesOta April 30, 2012 at 10:34 pm

I passed a store today called "Newells Liquor and Wine" which did make me chuckle.

Radiotherapy April 30, 2012 at 10:50 pm

Do they sell wine coolers?

SudsMcKenzie May 1, 2012 at 10:32 am

Its probably a good thing Layne doesn't have electricity in his post apocalyptic cul de sac.

Boojum April 30, 2012 at 10:05 pm

So, this means a decrease or increase in the price of condoms?

Barb April 30, 2012 at 10:14 pm

Well, the Palin girls always have condoms 100% off.

bagofmice April 30, 2012 at 11:37 pm

Uhm, that was Levi who had the condom 100% off.

Barb May 1, 2012 at 1:48 am

Uhm, in an adult and responsible relationship BOTH partners make sure that you use a condom. Safe sex and birth control issues should be discussed and agreed upon before the dirty deed of darkness. A condom is for safer sex for the man and the woman.

bagofmice May 1, 2012 at 6:42 am

And it's why Bristol is Tripping.

Boojum May 1, 2012 at 8:03 am

No, no, silly Barb! Wimmins is not capable of making those decisions, so we must leave that up to men, who understand these policies better than other people.

Biel_ze_Bubba April 30, 2012 at 11:44 pm

Hey, you don't need 'em when you rely on that abstinence-only thing.

IndianaKevin May 1, 2012 at 7:08 am

Be careful what you wish for. Firestone was all about "Where the rubber meets the road," which could be unpleasant in a sexual context:
"Rubber, meet road."
"Charmed."
"Road, meet rubber."
"The pleasure is mine."
"Let's do this."
"Agreed."
(From a legal standpoint, the slogan is excellent. It sounds like it means something impressive, but would never stand up in court.)

Boojum May 1, 2012 at 8:04 am

Road burn, meet penis?

Maman April 30, 2012 at 10:09 pm

Maybe Ellen Johnson Sirleaf will look into how it is that Andrew Firestone was allowed to control so much of Liberia? That would be infinitely more amusing than The Bachelor.

Geminisunmars May 1, 2012 at 12:50 am

I'd watch that.

Doktor StrangeZoom April 30, 2012 at 10:14 pm

I, for one, never liked his shoes.

Blueb4sunrise April 30, 2012 at 10:26 pm

I grew-up in All-Stars.

rickmaci April 30, 2012 at 10:14 pm

My heart leaped for just a beat because my tired old eyes read "an arrest warrant has been issued for President Omar al-Bashir" as "an arrest warrant has been issued for President George W. Bush." Time to log off and go drown the day in whiskey.

ttommyunger April 30, 2012 at 10:21 pm

So, when do we get to see Dubya and Cheney stand trial? They make this chump look like Mother Teresa.

Boojum May 1, 2012 at 8:05 am

Yes, but the cannibalism charges against Cheney were never proved.

Dashboard Buddha May 1, 2012 at 8:26 am

Nor were the charges that he kept a stable of Girl Scouts that matched his blood type.

ttommyunger May 1, 2012 at 11:59 am

What about the penile gumming?

subsum April 30, 2012 at 10:22 pm

I guess this is good news but not as good as it could be. When they catch Rumsfeld and Cheney the news will be really good.

SayItWithWookies April 30, 2012 at 10:23 pm

Gee, maybe having the ear of the guy who has the ear of The LORD isn't as much of a get-out-of-jail free card as it used to be. And Pat Robertson is running out of dictators to cozy up to.

ManchuCandidate April 30, 2012 at 10:33 pm

Blood diamond libel!

ManchuCandidate April 30, 2012 at 10:24 pm

When you look at the huge amounts of timber, oil, diamonds, iron ore, gold, and of course rubber found there, and at the transparency and fairness of the current administration, it’s clear that Liberia’s stock is going up. Seeing the former warlord president go to jail is just icing on the cake.

Somewhere a US America 1%er is roiling in rage at the happy poor blah people and is plotting revenge and a coup to change it back to the normal misery he feasted on.

BaldarTFlagass May 1, 2012 at 7:58 am

I think Chris Walken isn't doing much these days.

Pres.Beeblebrox April 30, 2012 at 10:28 pm

Soooo…. when does that Hague arrest warrant get issued for Cheney and Bush?

Fukui-sanYesOta April 30, 2012 at 10:30 pm

OT: I'm liking these JS pieces.

CheneysOldHeart April 30, 2012 at 10:31 pm

I, for one, am NOT of fan of this dangerous and immoral trend of holding heads of state accountable for their horrendous crimes against humanity. Slippery slope people! Slippery slope!

BigSkullF*ckingDog April 30, 2012 at 10:35 pm

Rubbers for everyone!!!!

Wait, what?

Negropolis April 30, 2012 at 10:45 pm

Ah, the difference between being a dictator of a basket-case, and one with some global influence and or a nice, big sugardaddy. They'll never get Alexander Lukashenko.

fuflans April 30, 2012 at 11:34 pm

i'm not sure. depends on who gets sicker of belarus first.

as an aging tinpot dictator you should always be aware of your shelf life.

Come here a minute April 30, 2012 at 10:51 pm

But has little Johnny started pooping in the potty yet? (Sorry, can't stop with the family-blog stuff.)

ifthethunderdontgetya April 30, 2012 at 10:51 pm

Who says that there’s no such thing as international law?

Me. Until we do something with our fucking war criminals.
~

Dashboard Buddha April 30, 2012 at 11:08 pm

Too right. Wake me when the Hague issues arrest warrants for Bush/Cheney et al.

littlebigdaddy April 30, 2012 at 10:52 pm

Are you our editrix's brother or husband, or alter ego? Can we log our complaints with you? (Intense Debate sucks balls, BTW).

HistoriCat May 1, 2012 at 12:03 am

Johnnycakes is one of the Editrix's brothers … apparently she comes from one of those families with talent and drive. Just watch out for commiebro – aka older brother Eric – he disapproves of fapping to his sister's image. And he was a Marine sniper …

littlebigdaddy May 1, 2012 at 12:55 am

Thanks for the 411, bra.

HistoriCat May 1, 2012 at 10:56 am

OK, it was a little over the top … but I think of it as a public service.

ManchuCandidate April 30, 2012 at 10:54 pm

OT/ Seems the esteemed PM Fatbody lied/hid from public 114 Billion bailout of Canada City Banks. Smug Canada City people not so smug. I knew from a friend that the CIBC was about 3 days away from melting down thanks to Lehman and CDOs of US America mortgages. PM Fatbody campaigned and won majority in part due to smugness that we weren't as fucked up as US America.

http://ca.finance.yahoo.com/news/canadian-banks-g

Negropolis April 30, 2012 at 10:59 pm

LOL! @ "PM Fatbody." Hadn't heard that one

BTW, conservatives attack the Canadian Centre for Policy Alternatives as a leftist conspiracy in 3…2…

ManchuCandidate April 30, 2012 at 11:03 pm

I would not be surprised if they have the attack ads ready to go.

Of course, the Canada City media will not be on this story because… that would mean they were manipulated by PM Fatbody (and they have been since he showed up) and lied to the ignorant masses. Plus they won't let that ruin the NHL playoffs.

ifthethunderdontgetya April 30, 2012 at 11:09 pm

Apparently this shite is happening all over the world…even in hobbitland.
~

ManchuCandidate April 30, 2012 at 11:14 pm

I'd almost get the idea that we were all lied to…

Nah.*

*hell fucking yeah we were.

BaldarTFlagass May 1, 2012 at 8:04 am

Since there are no Canadian teams left standing, I can't imagine that they give much of a fuck.

Chichikovovich May 1, 2012 at 7:22 am
Radiotherapy April 30, 2012 at 11:02 pm

To hell with this human rights, political justice, snark-fest, ZOMG, guys, Jos. A. Bank is having a "buy one suit, get two for free" sale…everything in the store… for two days only…everything in the store 1/2 off, the entire stock of shirts, socks, shoes, ties, woolen pants and more…see you guys later! Even you ladies can click on it…
♫ ♬The girls go crazy for a sharp dressed man. ♫ ♬

Mumbletypeg May 1, 2012 at 9:14 am

"Gotta Look Sharp!!" ♫

Dashboard Buddha April 30, 2012 at 11:12 pm

Oh, that's just fuckin' great. Next they'll have to pay the workers a decent wage. Do you have any idea what that will do to the price of tires??

horsedreamer_1 April 30, 2012 at 11:18 pm

So, to face trial as an international criminal, you also have to be black? Lukashenko is breathing a sigh of relief.

Negropolis May 1, 2012 at 12:17 am

There is no way we were both thinking about Lukashenko. lol

littlebigdaddy May 1, 2012 at 12:53 am

ANd who's the other shenko? The one with the braids? I'm sorry but that is a war crime in and of itself.

Negropolis May 1, 2012 at 1:33 am

That she's rotting in a prison, or the Princess Leia braids? 'Cause the former is a pretty fucked up situation, if you ask me.

fuflans April 30, 2012 at 11:40 pm

this is tots OT but i just listened to the morning edition piece with norm ornstein and thomas mann for the THIRD TIME today.

no one says this shit and it's the truest shit i've heard in forever.

should be the narritative of the nation
http://www.npr.org/2012/04/30/151522725/even-wors

deanbooth May 1, 2012 at 1:10 am

I was glad to see this truth finally bubble up to the surface.

See also Doghouse Riley: "The time to speak up was thirty years ago, when this stuff was just as plain, and was being covered by a transparent rewrite of unpleasant history, and a clear retrenchment on individual rights."

Callyson May 1, 2012 at 1:44 am

"We're not exactly neutral or balanced, are we?" says Mann. But a central message of their book, he says, is that norms of nonpartisanship in the media and elsewhere sometimes do "a disservice to the reality."

From your lips to the ears of SOMEBODY in the MSM, dude…

littlebigdaddy May 1, 2012 at 12:11 am

Notice that you never see Nobama and Charles Taylor together. Just saying.

Radiotherapy May 1, 2012 at 12:20 am

Or Kanye West for that matter.

LetUsBray May 1, 2012 at 12:35 am

…but Bush and Cheney were two of the greatest war criminals of all time. Of all time!

Radiotherapy May 1, 2012 at 1:48 am

Nah, srsly, Hitler and Stalin (our bedfellow '41-'45), make those guys look like a blastocyst.

Fukui-sanYesOta May 1, 2012 at 3:37 am

Fucking sepps and their prism-view of WW2. Stalin was best buds with Hitler (Molotov-Ribbentrop pact) until Barbarossa. The UK didn't know where to look.

Eventually he was "Uncle Joe" for fuck's sake. Poor Poland. They still haven't forgiven us for Yalta, and rightly so. We'd never have cracked Enigma without the work of Polish mathematicians and both our countries fucked them.

glamourdammerung May 1, 2012 at 12:37 am

But we have seen Pat Robertson and his "fellow Baptist" Charles Taylor together since they were business partners and all.

Isyaignert May 1, 2012 at 1:10 am

Say, isn't this Funny Uncle Pat Robertson's blood diamond partner? Yup, it sure is. Both of those mofos are going to have some 'splaining to do when they finally croak.

Callyson May 1, 2012 at 1:47 am

I can't come up with anything better to say than to quote MLK:

The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice

And this is a good step in that direction…

lulzmonger May 1, 2012 at 3:30 am

Moral: if you're going to be a cannibal rapist mass-murderer, ALWAYS make sure you book an overseas flight in advance … & DO NOT try to stiff the cab-driver.

Sooooooo … does this mean reuseable condoms are about to be "in" again?
AFAF.

Serolf_Divad May 1, 2012 at 6:01 am

I had no idea they were "out." Is washing your condoms (and setting them out to dry on a little laundry line made of chopsticks and dental floss) to save a little money really frowned upon?

Serolf_Divad May 1, 2012 at 5:57 am

Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, elected in 2005 and again in 2011, is a Nobel Peace Prize winner, a far cry from the cannibal, serial-rapist murderer she took over for.

Bah, typical bleeding heart, biased, liberal journalism: why is it you only present the bad side of serial-rapist, murdering, cannibalism?

Boojum May 1, 2012 at 8:14 am

Because the good side is Dick Cheney.

C_R_Eature May 1, 2012 at 6:52 am

I miss the Old Ways of dealing with people like this.

James Michael Curley May 1, 2012 at 8:44 am

Typical British. Over cook the meat until its dried out, tough and crusted.

C_R_Eature May 1, 2012 at 6:16 pm

If you think that was bad, you should see what they did to the vegetables.

Julia Child Wept.

Dr_pangloss May 1, 2012 at 6:59 am

So when do we invade Liberia violently depose their democratically elected government and put Taylor (or someone like him) back in charge. Since that evil socialist Nazi is being mean to a Very Good (American?) Tire Company!

oldedinvn May 1, 2012 at 7:00 am

Who the fuck care about the savages. Give me more Palin gossip. Or tits.

niblick77 May 1, 2012 at 8:18 am

On deck: Bush/Cheney!

ElPinche May 1, 2012 at 8:20 am

Yeah, we need to work on our war criminals. Grass is always greener!

James Michael Curley May 1, 2012 at 8:33 am
ElPinche May 1, 2012 at 9:09 am

So Palin is now just a "poll troll." She waits until candidate looks like he's going to win, then endorses them. And course, she claims victory, then more paid speeches, yada yada. Wow, grifting is an artform.

SolitaireRose May 1, 2012 at 9:05 am

The good thing is, since the US doesn't recognize the international court, we are all required to put out fingering in our ears and loudly shout "American The Beautiful" when the story is accidentally reported by CNN when they give some international news to give political pundits time to find the donuts and coffee before they sit down.

chascates May 1, 2012 at 12:12 pm

Message for Dr. Kissinger.

DamnHomie May 1, 2012 at 3:50 pm

How to resuscitate a dying website:

Step 1. Alienate longtime visitors by constantly referring to yourself as "your editrix" and interjecting personal anecdotes into posts as often as possible.
Step 2. Publish your brother.
Step 3. Publish your mother.
Step 4. Write posts about your mother.
Step 5: ????
Step 6: Profit.

Suggestions: Add merch store with Schoenkopf family SWAG, family vacation photo albums, opposing Op / Eds written by cousins, weekly Q&A features with extended family members.

Hey – it's YOUR website, amirite?

thesuniverse May 2, 2012 at 10:42 am

I think I must be in Bizarro World – was that GOOD news? My mind can't take it.

Guppy April 30, 2012 at 11:07 pm

a/k/a "pregnancy juice?"

Geminisunmars May 1, 2012 at 10:56 pm

Good tips.

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