economy schmeconomy

Romney, Obama Arguing Over Who’d Have Murdered Bin Laden Harder

Jimmy Carter could also kick Mitt Romney's ass.
Boy oh boy are we looking forward to the general election presidential debates. Here is a delightful preview from today’s news cycle to give your groan reflex a light workout ahead of the marathon that awaits it this fall: Mitt Romney, per the above tweet, asserted that one need only have balls the size of Jimmy Carter’s as a prerequisite for wanting to kill Osama bin Laden. Ha ha, zing! Good one, old boy. Rebuttal, Barack Obama? “As far as my personal role and what other folks [Ed note: He means Romney] would do, I’d just recommend that everybody take a look at people’s previous statements in terms of whether they thought it was appropriate to go into Pakistan and take out bin Laden,” he said. What fun, having arguments over hypothetical tactical decisions about an event that has already taken place. More presidential testicle-size math word problems, please!

From ABC News:

The president was alluding to Romney’s 2007 comments about bin Laden that “it’s not worth moving heaven and earth and spending billions of dollars just trying to catch one person.” The Obama campaign last Friday released a web ad suggestion that this sentence suggests he would not have been willing to take the risk and order Navy SEALs to cross into Pakistan and infiltrate bin Laden’s Abbotabad compound.

2012 is just the political year from outer space, is it not? The far-left youth-backed Democratic candidate from 2008 is four years later taunting the Republican candidate for being soft on defense and murder. The general election will be fun in the same way that a waterboarding session is cleansing. [Twitter/ABC News]

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      1. Angry_Marmot

        One of Rickover's nuclear engineers, too, a Gideon's band in its day. Does Mitt really want to get in a pissing match over this? Answering my own question, of course he does; Romney voters don' need no stinkin' bona fides!

    1. OC_Surf_Serf

      Carter has even built more dang houses than Romney has ever owned…

      …but, sadly, Chávez Carter he just gave them away for the price of labour to a family in need…what a commie.

      (If Carter wasn't such a Southern gentleman he would shove his Nobel Peace Prize up Romney's puckered tight ass.)

      1. Come here a minute

        Romney has sold ONE house for more than the price of all Jimmy Carter's houses combined. That's a real leader.

    1. Generation[redacted]

      Ask not who your country will murder for you. Ask who you can murder for your country. Pew! Pew!

          1. sullivanst

            Ah, got it.

            So, the winner could invoke a power explicitly not granted by the NDAA to detain a US citizen in the US, which is explicitly forbidden by the Non-Detention Act, and could then illegally rendition said illegally detained citizen before invoking legal doctrine not present in or in any way dependent on, and indeed predating, the NDAA to complete the kill. And this is all the fault of the NDAA because absolutely none of it is in there.

          2. FlownOver

            And the President, of course, can't send hundreds of thousands of troops off to fight without a Congressional declaration of war, because that power absolutely isn't in the Constitution.

            How sweet.

          3. sullivanst

            And the Korean War is relevant to the NDAA… how?Less flippantly, though, if we're talking “hundreds of thousands of troops”, we're clearly Iraq/Afghanistan and not Libya, and Congress made its intent clear. The constitution doesn't specify a particular form of words for a declaration of war, and the AUMFs are close enough for a hand grenade.

          4. FlownOver

            Getting pretty snark-free around here, but…

            If Congress doesn't have the guts to declare that a state of war exists, as it did 12/08/41, then the conduct of a WAR is extraconstitutional. Nuance it all you like.

          5. sullivanst

            It seems to me that history begs to differ. Congress has only used the word "war" in a declaration of war a total of 5 times, most recently on the date you cite. But it authorized, either explicitly with AUMF-style resolutions or implicitly by funding them, Korea, Vietnam, Lebanon (twice), Iraq (twice), Kosovo and Afghanistan. And that's only the post-WW2 conflicts, there's also the Barbary wars and the anti-slave military action. Then there's over a hundred other conflicts that Congress never gave even a wink and a nod to.

            We can argue the constitutional significance of the word "war" versus the phrase "authorization to use military force" until we're blue in the face, but in no instance will we ever come close to proving that either Obama or even Dubya invented the concept of military engagement without a Congressional act or resolution using the phrase "declaration of war" in the title, or that the NDAA created legal authority for one.

          6. sullivanst

            But if the cops have been watching you every step of the way doing the same thing repeatedly for 60 years, and saying "have a nice day" as you walk out the door, doesn't it become a little more reasonable to assume your actions are legal? Sounds more like making a withdrawal than robbing the bank by that point, don't you think?

          7. sullivanst

            Of course ultimately how I see and how you see it don't count for shit. How Congress sees it and how the Courts see it are what matters: Congress is happy enough that the conflict has been authorized (by them) that they continue to fund it and not impeach anyone; the Courts are happy enough that we're at war that they have upheld Executive assertions of war powers.

          8. iburl

            It's hard to follow your twisted excuse-making for a bill so unconstitutional and offensive to our rights that Obama felt the need to write a bullshit "signing statement" promising not to do to us all the things that the law allows him, and any future Palin or Romney, to do to us, but maybe you got me. Maybe the loser would have to step foot out of the USA before this all happened.

  1. actor212

    Y'know, I said something like that when Obama first released the commercial: it would be so easy for Mitt to knock that crack out of the park. Comparing him to Carter is just a fringe benefit.

    But then the President shows he really has some skill in eleven dimension chess by, I don't know, piping a quote for Romney where he asks if it would be worth it after all or something. I called that too…

    1. Blueb4sunrise

      I recall hearing an interview with Jimmy C. where he said that the reason the hostages were still alive for Raygun was because C. convinced the Iranians that if any of them were harmed he WOULD flatten Iran.

      BooYah! Pumped now!!!!

      1. V572 Is this him?

        Tain't no rumor. Ed Meese was talking to the Ayatollah all through the campaign.

    2. IndianaKevin

      A bullet (or x number of 'em) was too good for him. Now, a SLOW bullet, filed down to a square, with a dash of tobasco sauce … I'm getting all goose-bumpy just thinking about it!

  2. LettucePrey

    Pffft. I would have murdered bin Laden, like, Joe Pesci-style, with an ice pick to the face. Pansy asses.

    1. actor212

      I would have gone all Hannibal Lecter on him, cut him up and served him to the Pakistani President with fava beans and a nice Chianti.

    2. Wile E. Quixote

      Wimp. If I had authorized this mission I would have had the SEALs capture bin Laden alive. He would then have been flown to Enumclaw, Washington where he would be taken to a horse barn where where several randy stallions would be waiting. He would then be strapped down to a table. The stallions would be led in and allowed to have their way with him.
      After his colon had been blown out by repeatedly being penetrated by massive horse cocks and he was suffering from fatal internal injuries from said horse cocks ejaculating massive loads of horse jism deep inside his intestines he would be dragged outside and thrown into a pen full of hungry pigs who would proceed to eat him. The manure from these pigs would then be used to fertilize a flower garden that spelled out "U.S.A" in red, white and blue flowers.
      While all of this was happening I would have it filmed and streamed live over the internet. High resolution Blu-Ray DVDs of the event would then be available from the White House website for a moderate price. How's that for tough?

    1. sullivanst

      But he'd turn into a nuclear bomb and reduce a major US city to ashes because he hates Jesus.

    2. HistoriCat

      I agree that would have been the grownup thing to do. Maybe Obama didn't want to deal with the enormous pants-poop the Republicans in Congress would experience. I mean, it's bad enough when Boehner cries – having him standing there with a steaming load in his pants would make it really difficult to get anything done.

  3. Pithaughn

    And yet it was a Republican administration that did spend Billions just to remove one person. Well one person and his kids, but still mainly Spend Billions to get Sadam. Because Cheney said even if there was only a 1% chance that Sadam had a nuke or bio weapon we had to move heaven and earth to GET HIM.

  4. MarionNYNY

    Obama's response, looking at something that Romney actually said, was clever. The problem is anything Romney ever said in the past about anything doesn't count.

    1. Generation[redacted]

      "What Romney said in the past" is a target-rich environment, to say the least.

      1. Negropolis

        You know, I was watching a serious news conference consisting of the new Japanese PM and our president, and on the bottom of the screen CNN was scrolling about Snooki and JWow's new reality show, and I died a little, inside.

  5. SexySmurf

    The president was alluding to Romney’s 2007 comments about bin Laden that “it’s not worth moving heaven and earth and spending billions of dollars just trying to catch one person.”

    But that was five years ago. Mitt Witt has changed his opinion 4,916,735 times since then.

    1. Angry_Marmot

      Five bucks says the GOP starts using the word "bigger" as a dog whistle for the faithful.

      1. horsedreamer_1

        The Republican Ladies Auxiliary will be simultaneously moved to vote GOP & sit on a towel.

  6. JoeHoya

    Carter ordered Operation Eagle Claw in Iran, a military mission to free hostages held in the capital city of an enemy state. That takes a hell of al lot more balls than sneaking into an ally's country to kill everyone in one isolated building.

    And it should be noted that the fact that Eagle Claw was an unmitigated disaster goes to show that just because it takes a lot of balls to do something doesn't mean it's necessarily right.

    1. Generation[redacted]

      That song needs the Bush twins dancing in giant flip flops costumes. Remember those? Weren't that fun?

  7. Rotundo_

    Mittens would have contracted the job out to mercs (what is the name of the day for blackwater?) and they would have gone to the wrong building and vaporized a dormitory full of Pakistani military cadets and Mittens would have had to go on the tube telling the suckers that believe his shit that BinLadin was just yards away and escaped because he is just that cunning and evil and he is bound to strike in the US at any moment BOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!1111!!!!!!!!! You know, just like Dubya would have.

        1. sullivanst

          Don't tell them or they'll rename yet again, but the spelling "academi" makes me think of the way Jean-Christophe Novelli pronounced the name of his short-lived reality cooking show.

  8. metamarcisf

    Presidents who would have ordered the hit on bin Laden:

    Grover Cleveland, Zachary Taylor, John Adams, William Howard Taft, Rutherford B. Hayes, James Earl Carter, Theodore Roosevelt

    Presidents who would have have let bin Laden escape:

    John Quincy Adams, Richard Nixon, Gerald Ford, Calvin Coolidge, Dwight D. Eisenhower, James Monroe, James Polk, James Buchanan

    Jury still out:

    Grover Cleveland (two non-consecutive terms), William Henry Harrison, Ronald Reagan, John Tyler, Millard Fillmore, George H. W. Bush

    Don't know: James Madison, George Washington, Andrew Jackson, George W. Bush, Harry S Truman, Lyndon Johnson

    Busy: John F. Kennedy, Abe Lincoln

    1. BarackMyWorld

      If George W. Bush was going to get Bin Laden, George W. Bush would've gotten Bin Laden.

    2. BerkeleyBear

      Fillmore was too drunk all the time to even know what he was doing.
      Either Harrison (Ben or WHH) would have killed him in a heartbeat, since he was brown and all and hence close enough to being an Indian. Ditto Andy Jackson (although Andy would have wanted to horsewhip him first).
      TJ would have tried to find out how good looking his sisters are before making the call one way or another.
      Warren G Harding wouldn't have cared since it didn't have anything to do with a make believe Red Scare or business.
      Reagan would have sent him a cake and a Bible first, then had Ollie North try to take him out when it went south.

    3. deanbooth

      Andrew Jackson would have done it. He invaded (Spanish) Florida against orders and hung some British diplomats claiming he didn't see the orders not to.* Major asshole.

      *Facts may differ from my memory

    1. Rotundo_

      He still can! Hell he can baptize the prophet as a Mormon if he really wants to frost a few million asses…

    2. rickmaci

      Honestly, that is a good question to ask Romoney. Should Bin Laden be dead baptized by the Mormons?

    3. Wile E. Quixote

      Not only would Mittens have posthumously baptized bin Laden but he'd also marry all of his wives, impregnate them and then raise the kids as Mormons.

      1. Rotundo_

        You know, that would have been a wonderful thing to tell him before sending him off to hell. And raising the little guys in Utah would have been some retribution for what he did.

    1. Steverino247

      Speaking from personal experience, tear gas does a wonderful job of curing a sinus infection. Makes a helluva mess as your skull instantaneously empties itself of snot, but oh the relief!

  9. DaRooster

    “it’s not worth moving heaven and earth and spending billions of dollars just trying to catch one person.”

    Would it be worth the effort to get the folks that allowed/helped 9/11 to happen?

  10. EtchySketchy

    Romney would have ordered the hit on Bin Laden, then sent paramedics in to revive him on advice from his campaign team.

  11. V572 Is this him?

    Statements that will not wind up in Bartlett's or inscribed at the base of a statue on the Mall: "As far as my personal role and what other folks would do, I’d just recommend that everybody take a look at people’s previous statements in terms of whether they thought it was appropriate to go into Pakistan and take out bin Laden."

    Here, Hopey. Take a lesson from another president from Illinois: "Allow the president to invade a neighboring nation, whenever he shall deem it necessary to repel an invasion, and you allow him to do so whenever he may choose to say he deems it necessary for such a purpose – and you allow him to make war at pleasure."

    Or, apropos tomorrow: "Labor is prior to, and independent of, capital. Capital is only the fruit of labor, and could never have existed if labor had not first existed. Labor is the superior of capital, and deserves much the higher consideration."

  12. Callyson

    The president was also referring to Romney’s reaction in 2007 after then-Senator Obama said “if we have actionable intelligence about high-value terrorist targets and President Musharraf won’t act, we will.” Romney at the time called those comments “ill-timed” and “ill-considered” and said “there is a war being waged by terrorists of different types and nature across the world. We want, as a civilized world, to participate with other nations in this civilized effort to help those nations reject the extreme with them.”

    Yeah, sure, Mittens, you would have gone after him…

  13. Radiotherapy

    The race so far:
    1. Who hates the womenz…moar.
    2. Who hates dogs….moar.
    3. Who hated some bogeyman, fall guy… moar.

    This is going to so suck.

    1. rickmaci

      Romoney has nothing. So far it's like BHO is standing on one side of the bog waving and calling to Mittie, come get me. Romoney then runs across the bog after BHO and is chest deep in the quicksand before he can get 1/2 way there. As long as nobody throws him a rope (Hillary Rosen) he will sink before end of summer.

  14. seppdecker

    If Bin Laden was working in a small American factory that could be dismantled and thrown to the Chinese, Romney would have destroyed him.

    1. Gleem McShineys

      "Oh Yeah, Obama?! Well, I'll have you know I'd totally liquidate his assets! Literally, I mean. His stock options would be leveraged so high, we'd even sell the building too!"

  15. Callyson

    “it’s not worth moving heaven and earth and spending billions of dollars just trying to catch one person.”

    No, much better to keep waging unnecessary wars in countries that did not attack the US, such as Iraq, and letting the leader of the organization that did attack the US slip out of our grasp…

    Six more bloody months…

  16. smitallica

    So, Mitt would've given the order, but then not used it to his political advantage, right? Right.

  17. sullivanst

    Only someone with no brain would think the choices made in the mission to get Bin Laden were all no-brainers.

    Sadly, that covers most of the electorate.

  18. SayItWithWookies

    Mittens — regardless of everything he said back when he had to agree with Dubya just to get his support — okay that doesn't sound so good either — but anyway, Mittens definitely would've given the go-ahead if presented with the same decision President Obama had been.

    Of course Mittens woudn't've been presented with that decision, since he wouldn't've expended the effort to track bin Laden's whereabouts anyway; he wouldn't've had the added intelligence and reconnaissance and troop presence because he wouldn't've increased his efforts in Afghanistan; because we would still have troops in Iraq riding around getting blown up for no reason because he never said anything about leaving; and Afghanistan would still be a backwater war we were trying to hand off to our NATO allies.

    But aside from all that — had Mittens been President Obama and done all of the things President Obama did to get him to that point, then Mittens would've made the same concluding decision that President Obama made. Got it.

    1. V572 Is this him?

      Your argument is what the cable shouters now call "counterfactual" and therefore too complicated to explain to the voters. If it doesn't fit on a bumper sticker, it doesn't count.

      Be sure to vote, everybody!

    2. Wile E. Quixote

      So what you're saying is that if Mittens was a Democrat from Illinois who had a white mother and a Kenyan father and who had a funny sounding Arab name and if he had won the 2008 election by 10 million votes instead of being a white Mormon Republican from Massachusetts who got his ass handed to him in the 2008 primaries and who only prevailed in 2012 because he had more money and less batshit insanity than his opposition that Osama bin Laden would still be dead?

        1. Wile E. Quixote

          But wouldn't that kind of massive, yet unlikely and completely hypothetical, spatio-temporal distortion lead to the creation of an alternate universe just like ours except where everything was switched around and the only way you'd know that you were dealing with President Obama and not hypothetical and completely unlikely alternate universe President RmoneyObama (who looks just like President Obama) is that hypothetical and completely unlikely alternate universe President RmoneyObama is because he would have a goatee?

  19. elviouslyqueer

    Dear Mittens:

    Woulda, coulda, shoulda, you disingenuous pansy-assed lying motherfucker.



  20. ElPinche

    He can pretend to be president all he wants after Nov 2012. He can go back to living the Ralph Lauren life as a wealthy debutante and former serial-unemployer.

  21. anniegetyerfun

    I look forward to the coming political campaign in which Romney explains everything else that he totally agrees with Obama on.

  22. James Michael Curley

    I think the real question that needs an answer is why is Desmond Miles still alive?

  23. HobbesEvilTwin

    Let's cut through all the bullshit and just make the election about who would've taken a bigger dump on Hitler. There.

          1. sullivanst

            Wise man.

            By coincidence, then, it was relevant to the circumstances in which Charles Lindbergh was mostly likely to be taking a dump on Hitler.

      1. Butch_Wagstaff

        That must infuriate the souls of Jews who decided to accept the Mormon conversion posthumously. "Really? This guy? Well, at least we won't have to be on the same planet as him in Mormon heaven."

  24. JustPixelz

    "it’s not worth … spending billions of dollars just trying to catch one person."

    This is why we need a businessman in the White House. Unlike a "politician", Romney will do a cost/benefit analysis on these questions. Then weigh that against whether those billions would be better spent on tax cuts for stay-at-home moms. If some grieving families are denied the satisfaction of revenge/justice, that is simply part their cost of doing business.

    1. BerkeleyBear

      If he would actually do that, I'd halfway believe his bs. But his ROI seems limited purely to "what will bump my poll numbers" which in turn dooms little nuggets like "investing in women is a better way of ensuring peace and prosperity than bombing the crap out of already marginalized populations" despite all the economic and sociological data that backs them up.

  25. DrunkIrishman

    Hey Mitt Romney, you'll never be half the man Jimmy Carter is. You greasy, slimy piece of Mormon shit – why don't you go throw yourself off one of your fucking ten houses and save us all the agony of putting up with your inane bullshit the next seven months? No one likes you. They think you look like the creepy pedophile who stands outside the local elementary taunting little kids with jaw breakers.

    You are so indecisive, you smelly heap of burnt robot metal, that if you were presented with the decision to go after bin Laden, your mainframe would overload and you'd burn out. You probably freeze up when your butler asks you if you want soup or salad you lame-brain fuck.

    1. fuflans

      man DI, you are really in a tizzy today.

      not that i blame you, but still…

      you should have a bevvie to sooth your nerves.

    2. Negropolis

      They think you look like the creepy pedophile who stands outside the local elementary taunting little kids with jaw breakers.

      That is the most perfect description of the man. Most perfect.

  26. Bluestatelibel

    The amazing thing was Wolf Blitzer predicted this. Remember when he wrote, "This will be a nasty campaign." He was right!

      1. Generation[redacted]

        (rolls eyes) I believe the title of that memo was, "Bad Electioneering Determined to Strike U.S."

    1. BerkeleyBear

      This is not nasty. This cycle won't get close to nasty as a historical measure. At least, I'm hoping there won't be intimidation on a wide spread basis, violent night marches, accusations of illegitimate children (which turn out to be true in Cleveland's case), threats to destroy the union (which are then acted on), votes traded for booze all over the country and so on. We are all a bunch of candy asses compared to 19th century politics – and that's a good thing.

      1. Bluestatelibel

        Personally, I think arguing about killing anyone is nasty and medieval, but then let's not bicker about who killed who. Since childhood, my father always says the same thing, "this is going to be a nasty campaign," so I got a kick out of it when Wolf enlightened us.

  27. BarackMyWorld

    Mitt, what happened to you? If you were this indecisive and self-contradictory when you were with Bain Capital, you never could have fired all those people.

  28. Monsieur_Grumpe

    Oh yeah? Jimmy can crush beer cans on his forehead. Full, unopened beer cans. Fuck you Mitt.

  29. arihaya

    it require balls the size of Jimmy Carter's to realize that America is addicted to oil, that solution for energy crisis is not invading another country, that occupying a third word country is morally repugnant and that Israel's future lie in peace and not war.

  30. cheaphits

    "Presidential elections, are planned distractions, to divert attention from the action behind the scenes. Like a game of chess when the house is a mess, or a petty money squabble, when your marriage is in trouble, or a football game, when there's rioting in the streets.."

    Timbuk3, outta Austin in the '80's.-

  31. horsedreamer_1

    So, who will the GOP fob off to fly a plane into Freedom Tower on the nite when Obama addresses the DNC?

    1. Dashboard Buddha

      Ah christ…I'm just cynical enough to think that something like that would happen.

  32. V572 Is this him?

    What are we going to learn about Barry and Mittens that we don't know about them right now? What purpose will the next seven months of "campaigning" (and punitive levels of teevee ads*) serve except to generate more faux outrage and mendacious argument?
    *Thank Jebus for the indelible blueness of California, which spares us much of this.

  33. SayItWithWookies

    Wow, John Kerry just got coddled to death by the fair and balanced ads of the Dubya 2004 campaign — it's a pity President Obama has so diverted from those high-minded days and has lowered himself to actually quoting what Mitt Romney says in context to slam him.

  34. moseyon

    Fact: President Obama did it. Enormous decision.
    Fact: Romney will never know how he would have reacted.
    It is so much easier to be wise after the event.
    What give him the right to speak for Carter?

  35. DemonicRage

    Mittens meant to say that he would have FIRED Bin Laden. That's what he does: FIRE people. Somehow we are all going to get jobs, just by thinking about how successful Mittens was, and all those dead Concentration Camp people that his people baptized after they were dead. This will be a decade of high achievement!

  36. SayItWithWookies

    Oh, and for some real insight into Dubya's vision of reality (and yes, this is O/T by this point) here's a 2004 ad wherein freedom (such as it was) in Afghanistan and Iraq is represented by — athletic girls in swimsuits. I'm sure the decision to depict girls swimming instead of, say, a brown veiled woman with several kids speaking some frighteningly foreign-sounding language, was just a stylistic matter.

  37. MilwaukeeKent

    I have no idea what Romney would have done about Bin Laden, probably nothing, but I'm reasonably sure that, if elected, he'd sell El Paso to Carlos Slim.

    First line of a Donald Barthelme short story. "I bought a little city, it was El Paso, Texas."

  38. ttommyunger

    Mittens would have dispatched Ted Nugent to shoot UBL. 'Course, Ted would just shit himself again to get out of it. Mitt would have done it better, no question about it. Yeah, that's the ticket.

  39. fuflans

    but see the actual thing is actually bamz did it and no republican did it and certainly romney didn't do it.

    but hey! war with out end amen.

  40. Negropolis

    2012 is just the political year from outer space, is it not? The far-left youth-backed Democratic candidate from 2008 is four years later taunting the Republican candidate for being soft on defense and murder.

    'Bout damned time, if you ask me.

    In a system where the government is almost completely paralyzed, this is what we're left to, and I'll enjoy while it lasts. Lest we forget, though, this current president has either reduced or at least consolidated our efforts in that area of the world while also taking out a terrorist mastermind in a targeted attack instead of expanding new, heavy-handed wars in that region. I'm just glad that I don't have to wonder before I turn on my TV, in the morning, if President Curious George got us into another ground war somewhere in Dumbfuckistan.

  41. valthemus

    So he finally got around to pandering to the Carter haters and other aging John Birchers.

    At this point, I'm just waiting for Romney to finally snap and start shouting, "HE'S A NEGRO!! HE'S A NEGRO!! NO BROWN IN THE WHITE HOUSE!! YOU HAVE TO VOTE FOR ME!!"

  42. SolitaireRose

    Willard then said he thought it was dangerous for today's kids to be listening to the Dead Kennedys, watdching that Friday's show and having so much god damn mousse in their hair.

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