COLONEL OF TRUTH  3:11 pm April 29, 2012

Nicolas Sarkozy In Bedouin With Gaddafi

by Lisa Wines

There's room for you in my tentWith only seven days to go until the final round of voting in France’s presidential election, some lefty terrorist media organization published documentary evidence that Nicolas Sarkozy was promised 50 Million freedom fries in campaign contributions from snappy dresser and all around nice guy Muammar Gaddafi. Here’s what’s in the little letter of money promises, from the BBC:

The document – dated 2006 and written in Arabic – appears to have been signed by the then Libyan foreign intelligence chief Musa Kusa.

It refers to an “agreement in principle to support the campaign for the candidate for the presidential elections, Nicolas Sarkozy, for a sum equivalent to 50m euros.”

The first sniff of intrigue actually came in March 2011 in the form of a TeeVee interview with mad dog’s puppy, Saif al-Islam Gadhafi, after Sarkozy recognized the Libyan opposition’s National Transition Council as a legitimate government. Son of a madman had this to say to Monsieur Sarkozy:

“Sarkozy must first give back the money he took from Libya to finance his electoral campaign. We funded it and we have all the details and are ready to reveal everything. … The first thing we want this clown to do is to give the money back to the Libyan people. He was given the assistance so he could help them, but he has disappointed us. Give us back our money.”

Evidently he was referring to bank records as proof, but these have yet to be unearthed from the mass graves under the tea-cup ride in the miniature amusement park behind mad dog’s compound. So, the post-meeting memo will have to do.

This isn’t Sarkozy’s only alleged illegal contribution scandal. Two other cases are currently in the French courts. France’s richest woman, L’Oreal heiress Liliane Bettencourt, allegedly stuffed 150,000 Euroclams into an envelope and gave it to Eric Woerth, Sarkozy’s campaign finance director and former French employment minister. Then there’s that woman that you probably never heard of, Christine Lagarde, who replaced libertine échangiste and aggravated pimp Dominique Strauss-Kahn as head of the International Monetary Fund. Christine allegedly paid off a Sarkozy supporter when she was French finance minister. These two cases are still grinding their way through French courts but will probably be dismissed on fashion principles alone. After all, elite French blood is thicker than Libyan krazy kash.

Anyhoo, Sarko’s rival, François Hollande, called for a criminal investigation yesterday, since it’s illegal for French politicos to take money from foreigners who dress funny, carry a gauche gold-dipped gun or call Condoleezza Rice “darling.” But since French courts move at the pace of an escargot (the judge keeps sending everybody home because he wants 5.8 copies of all documents versus 3.2), there’s no chance Sarkozy will be investigated before next week’s election. No worries, he’s already been tried in the court of public opinion and the French will never forgive him for allowing Libya’s mad dog to sully the hallowed grounds of Baron Gustave de Rothschild’s former residence, Hôtel de Marigny, with a Bedouin tent, one camel, 400 servants and 30 female virgin bodyguards. Critics called the event a “Qaddafi circus” and “tragic-comic farce.”


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Blueb4sunrise April 29, 2012 at 3:19 pm


Lascauxcaveman April 29, 2012 at 4:04 pm


Doktor StrangeZoom April 29, 2012 at 4:05 pm

Cat sank.

Chichikovovich April 29, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Set wheat.

lisawines April 29, 2012 at 4:21 pm


smokefilledroommate April 29, 2012 at 4:25 pm


ttommyunger April 29, 2012 at 4:55 pm


smokefilledroommate April 29, 2012 at 8:24 pm

Twyla Tharp.

Blueb4sunrise April 29, 2012 at 5:02 pm
lisawines April 29, 2012 at 5:11 pm

I would be tipping that. Beats the hell out of the old guy with a boom box and his 9-yr-old daughter with a tambourine. But the cross-eyed guy who could name all the stops for every Metro line was pretty amazing.

Negropolis April 29, 2012 at 9:18 pm


Doktor StrangeZoom April 30, 2012 at 1:33 am


memzilla April 29, 2012 at 3:21 pm

I didn't even know that Tom DeLay and Dick Armey spoke French. I guess propping up one illegally-elected incompetent dictator is pretty much like propping up another.

weejee April 29, 2012 at 5:08 pm

Isn't Tom the Hammer's last name French for what got all those Secret Servicers in so many troubles?

Doktor StrangeZoom April 29, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Mitt Romney is now reconsidering all those unkind things he said about Europe.

EloquentScience April 29, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Musa Kusa. On Libyan TV, this was the replacement for Tinky Winky in the Teletubbies.

Spurning Beer April 29, 2012 at 4:05 pm

Something's not right here. You can't spell Musa Kusa without USA! USA!

Fred_Wertham_Jr April 29, 2012 at 6:24 pm

It's a good lyric if you set it to "Boola Boola".

MadBrahms April 29, 2012 at 10:51 pm

That's not a name, it's something out of the mouth of the much-hated Jar Jar Binks.

angerbear April 29, 2012 at 3:29 pm


Wile E. Quixote April 29, 2012 at 3:29 pm

I wonder when the bin Laden family will demand that George W. Bush refund their money?

Steverino247 April 29, 2012 at 3:41 pm

L'argent ne parle pas, il crie.

V572 Fehrnstrom April 29, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Is the spouse of Socialist candidate François Hollande as hot as Carla Bruni? If (as seems likely) not, it's clear which way the les Grenouilles should vote.

Oh, wait he's not married. But the GF's kinda good looking.

And "euroclams" is excellent, better than "eurobucks" and maybe even "eurosamoleans."

lisawines April 29, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Hey thanks for that link. His GF is a looker but so was his ex-GF (Ségolène Royal) who ran for president in 2007… while he was having his affair with his current GF. Sooo complicated. And I'm glad you liked Euroclams. It just popped in my head. I like it when that happens. :-)

V572 Fehrnstrom April 29, 2012 at 4:46 pm

This gives hope to men everywhere who are at or below the François-Hollande level on the Great Continuum of Attractiveness along which relationships are made.

lisawines April 29, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Ahahahaha! That was great. He is definitely nerdy but gets the chicks. Must be all that socialism.

Negropolis April 29, 2012 at 9:21 pm

I still miss Segolene Royal (w/fromage)… :(

Radiotherapy April 29, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Muammar Gaddafi is people to my friend.
Citizen's United!!1!

SorosBot April 29, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Too bad for Sarkozy that France doesn't have the precedent of Citizens United; then Gaddafi could have legally donated all that money to his PAC that he officially does not coordinate with.

Blueb4sunrise April 29, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Austerity measures for Sarko I reckon.

[also thanks for this thread Leeeeeeeeeeeeesa]

lisawines April 29, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Yer welcome bluebeeeeeeee.

Dudleydidwrong April 29, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Orange Julius Boehner and his train of sycophants wants to know where his share is? He introduced a bill to make our national motto "With Libya and Justice for some" and when he opened the envelope it was just full of sand and camel shit.

HistoriCat April 29, 2012 at 10:14 pm

That explains the constant crying.

Dr_pangloss April 29, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Now if only the Saudis would come clean about directly funding the Bush regime.

Negropolis April 29, 2012 at 9:22 pm

It'll only happen if we ever invade them, so…never.

Callyson April 29, 2012 at 4:02 pm

That photo in the Mediapart link…is Sarkozy seriously fapping to Gaddafi, in full view of the camera? Guess he did not realize that the chair was not hiding anything…

lisawines April 29, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Probably rearranging his go-go-nads.

Tundra Grifter April 29, 2012 at 4:47 pm

Anyone married to Carla Bruni probably spends a great deal of time flexing the love muscle.

lisawines April 29, 2012 at 5:01 pm


Lascauxcaveman April 29, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Boy, I admit I find this confusing. I can't decide whether to blame this on Obama or Bill Clinton.

Doktor StrangeZoom April 29, 2012 at 4:44 pm

It all goes back to Woodrow Wilson, the arch-fiend of Progressivism.

Alinsky. also too

Lionel[redacted]Esq April 29, 2012 at 4:07 pm

This is a terrible precedent. If people can start demanding refunds when horrible masterminds fund anti-democratic campaigns, Karl Rove would have nothing to do.

lisawines April 29, 2012 at 4:33 pm

Oh I'm sure Karl pays all of them back "in kind."

Guppy April 29, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Critics called the event a… “tragic-comic farce.”

So… they loved it? I mean, Jerry Lewis and all…

lisawines April 29, 2012 at 4:39 pm

No, they prefer dark, tragic, sadness. Like l'Ennui d'Henri:

trampndirtdown April 29, 2012 at 5:45 pm


Negropolis April 29, 2012 at 9:37 pm


I also love how the French-speakers are apparently pissed by the accent, but this is Youtube, after all.

lisawines April 30, 2012 at 2:53 am

I noticed his accent right away but had my friend listen to it and she thought he's French Canadian, but I'm not sure. But it's so brilliant that who cares? The French care OF FREAKING COURSE. :-) After I'd been here a while, I got really sick of getting lectured so when a French person asked me, "So how long have you lived here?" my standard answer was, "Long enough for you to give me shit about not speaking French very well."

Negropolis April 30, 2012 at 9:34 pm


I noticed the accent right away, myself. My thought is that he's probably a typical English-speaking American that wanted to make a funny video. I speak very, very little French, myself, but have always enjoyed the language.

weejee April 29, 2012 at 4:14 pm

Duncan Taylor, Governor of the Cayman Islands, announces his $50M contribution to Mittens in 3, 2, 1…

V572 Fehrnstrom April 29, 2012 at 8:11 pm

Linkee no workee, old friend.

BTWBFDIMHO April 29, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Musa Kusa is Bedouinese for J' accuse.

doloras April 29, 2012 at 6:21 pm

Who is this Jack Hughes and why does everyone blame him for stuff?

BTWBFDIMHO April 29, 2012 at 4:34 pm

I bet Sarkozy used the money to open an account at Tiffany's.

Chow Yun Flat April 29, 2012 at 8:26 pm

Cartier, s'il vous plaît.

Negropolis April 29, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Hermès, mais ouis.

Dashboard Buddha April 29, 2012 at 4:38 pm

Muammar to Nick

♫I only have eyyyyes for youuuuuu ♫

lisawines April 29, 2012 at 5:14 pm

I should have used that as the photo tag. :-)

SayItWithWookies April 29, 2012 at 4:58 pm

I guess when Dubya was all enamored of Sarko because they were both alleged conservatives, they didn't realize that they had so much in common — like whoring to foreign oil interests.

And for more campaign finance fun, it seems we might get a peek at who's been funding the Chamber of Commerce and Koch brothers' superPACs before the election. Remember how the C of C was insisting that it could distinguish foreign donations from domestic ones even though they went to the same account? Some of those donors could be interesting.

ttommyunger April 29, 2012 at 4:59 pm

The only good thing about France is that pussy tastes like pussy there, instead of Dial Soap, so there.

lisawines April 29, 2012 at 5:15 pm

It's because bathing is too much of an ordeal.

ttommyunger April 29, 2012 at 5:22 pm

I agree.

Negropolis April 29, 2012 at 9:31 pm

C'est la vie, en français. **le sigh**

chascates April 29, 2012 at 7:32 pm

So Sarkozy is a secret Muslim?

redarmyzombie April 29, 2012 at 7:37 pm

Wait, you mean to tell me Nicolas Sarkozy is a lying hypocrite? Who knew.

Arken April 29, 2012 at 8:23 pm

Can you blame him for taking the money? Sarkozy is always a little short.

not that Dewey April 29, 2012 at 9:26 pm
Chow Yun Flat April 29, 2012 at 8:30 pm

Strange. It was only a few weeks ago that Sarkozy was yapping about kicking out the North Africans who lived in France. 50 million Euros would buy a lot of plane tickets from Orly to Algiers and Casablanca.

CivicHoliday April 29, 2012 at 8:37 pm

Sacre Bleu! Ce qu'un âne

Fluffy_Kitties April 29, 2012 at 9:28 pm

"…for a sum equivalent to 50m euros.”

That's shorthand for 50 milli-euros (they all use the metric system over there you know), which is about $0.02 cents in real Amuriken monies.

ManchuCandidate April 29, 2012 at 11:40 pm

Light treason? As long as he didn't build poorly constructed homes in Libya.

glamourdammerung April 30, 2012 at 3:18 am

Still not as offensive as our least favorite ménage à trois of Graham, Lieberman and McCain sucking up to Gaddafi.

smitallica April 30, 2012 at 9:26 am

Musa Kusa? Sounds like a fake swear word from Jar-Jar's tubby chief.

Chet Kincaid April 30, 2012 at 11:54 am

Sarkozy promised his help in arranging "an evening of bliss with femme fatale Condoleeza Rice," according to the agreement, but Gaddafi did not understand that pimping is illegal in France.

SayItWithWookies April 29, 2012 at 5:27 pm

'Nuff deez.

Negropolis April 29, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Deez nutz, is what.

Swampgas_Man April 29, 2012 at 6:28 pm

Dem and doze.

Doktor StrangeZoom April 30, 2012 at 1:33 am


Z Crudmonger April 30, 2012 at 1:58 am

le sigh.

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