Five days after the beginning of the upheaval schools across LA open on Monday morning.
Son John is nervous about me going back. “It’s fine,” I tell him. (But years later he tells me that he was always scared after that when I went to work.) But I’ve got to put food on the table and a roof over our heads.
On Monday morning I take that pretty drive to school, eager to find out what had happened.
When I pull up to the school’s parking lot I look around and see … everything on the school campus is perfectly fine. Not a hair on its pretty head is touched.
That isn’t true of some of the businesses across the street. Burned out. Windows smashed. Lots of that. Some of the homes down the street are burned. An apartment building has some damage, too.
But the school stands firmly on its foundation with a happy smile on its face.
I think to myself, “The people love their school.” Even though our playground is asphalt. Even though the freeway roars past us all day. Even though, even though, even though… it is our school.It turns out not one school in all of Los Angeles was harmed.
So I unlock my classroom, put my purse away, get crayons and paper out. I walk over to the office. Check in. (There is a bit of chatter about all the action in the neighborhood.) I walk back across the playground over to the teachers’ lunchroom and chat with some of my buddies. The bell rings. I go out to the playground and gather up my little rosebuds.
We get to class. Some of the kids are chattering and full of stories while others are silent and listening.
I tell them that we are going to be talking about what happened this past week and try to understand it.
And then I find out things I hadn’t heard on television.
If you read one story about the 20th anniversary of the LA Riots, let it be Commie Mom’s. [FourStory]
{ 165 comments }
"It turns out not one school in all of Los Angeles was harmed."
Obviously Scott Walker wasn't Governor.
20 years! Golly, I'm glad all the racial stuff is a thing of the past.
~M. Romney
A political consensus has coalesced around the idea that crime can be solved by criminalizing being a young black male, so there's that.
Take away decent entry-level jobs, their right to vote, and their freedom, and it's almost like the good old antebellum days!
Seems like this might be the plan. Plus: private prisons = more opportunities for the free enterprise system to demonstrate its inevitable success when funded by the government.
Or criminalizing the middle-aged black male in the White House. At least that's what I learned on Fux News.
needz moar bootstrap pulling
The inequality of those two playgrounds maddens me.
Dividing the nation through class warfare instead of uniting it through accepting that asphalt is good enough for South Central.
accepting that asphalt is good enough for South Central
"Who'll teach us the ABCs
We play on the hard concrete
All we got is life on the streets
All we got is life on the streets" ♫
Your avatar: "I like you, but I'm gonna shoot you in the face. So I can't look. "
Thanks. And thank Commie Mommie. For everything.
Also, NPR had a trio of fine stories about the riots on Morning Edition Friday. One of them was a brief profile of Jessica Evers Jones who is about to turn 20 herself. She's the baby whose pregnant mother was shot in the stomach as the riots began. Delivered by emergency C-section, she was born with the bullet lodged in her arm.
Also a story on how schools teach about the riots and a pretty good John Ridley essay
Wow. I never heard about that Baby Jessica getting born after getting shot.
The cynical huckster in me is thinking if she wanted to embrace the thug life and become a rapper, she's got about the best instant cred you could possibly get.
A family of writers. Could be good. Or bad. I'm betting it's probably somewhere in between.
Nice story.
Do we give equal time to the trauma Simi Valley went through by having Rodney King brought to their faire city? Mmmm, do we?
Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…
White people are always the victims! Why does no one acknowledge that?
Having a blah at the Courthouse reduced property values 13%.
I was white and middle class but fell on hard times. Twenty five years of hard times. I was in a daily struggle of living on the edge. I experienced every mortification, hardship, fear, and stress that poverty creates. I also found out how much effort it takes to survive. When money is scarce it takes a huge amount of ingenuity and a gigantic amount of labor just to keep body and soul together. Nothing is simple when there is no money.
So true and so perfectly expressed. Being poor means that a kid losing a glove is a small disaster–can you afford to buy him another pair of gloves this month or does he have to go through February in Chicago without gloves? The small, debasing but constant choices that poor parents have to make lead to so much that is evil. A mom might snap for just a moment the next time someone loses something and hit her child, for example. Multiply that by hundreds of little humiliations every year, year after year and you get people who are just too beat down to care. Or who decide that the only way to get something is to steal it or sell drugs or do blowjobs for money.
You seem to forget that if people would just eat nothing but rice and beans, and not buy an iPad every week, they'd soon be out of poverty.
And Tiffany whore diamonds. Too much buying of the bloody whore diamonds.
It's good to remember, while the Trayvon Martin horror is going on, there have always been idiots who blame the situation on the most convenient and advantageous cause, no matter how simpleminded — remember Dan Quayle saying "Who's responsible for the riots? The rioters!"
It's good that that narrative in this case is falling apart. That Commie Mom noted that there were lots more video cameras at the '92 graduation was telling — there are more and credible eyes out there now. Maybe even enough to convince an Orange County jury today, though that might be optimistic.
I thought it was one of them journalism things to disclose when stuff you post was written by your mom, or, say, when your brother is hired on to the blog you edit.
That's a good point. So I'll come clean: I'm Rebecca's secret lover.
In an informal setting such as this one, it's a sufficient clue to refer to her as Commie Mommie — though it's puzzling what kinda bug is up your ass enough to make this your first comment.
Really, if you want to get uptight about undisclosed conflicts of interest, you could start with the news programs that had paid Pentagon shills on advocating for the myopic and mismanaged Iraq war rather than, say, an owner of a humor blog who links to a personal essay her mother wrote.
You said it best. I was just going to call him a turd.
EDIT – or call her a turd. Either or? Turd Person.
At least it's turd person singular. I don't want to have to deal with turd person plural.
That's the shits.
I'm betting money that this is just a sock puppet account of a real commenter who didn't want the inevitable backlash to their whine about nothing.
"You linked to a story by your mom, as you have done before, and even called her by the same name?!! Well bugga bugga blub blub blub!!!"
I'll come clean too, I'm nailing your mom, and dude, she is seriously into anal. It's not too serious though, so even though she calls me "daddy" you're not going to have to.
FULL DISCLOSURE: I thought that shit was for DailyKoos.
Dontcha love it when a reporter writing about the "debt crisis" throws in a casual statement like "full disclosure: I
suck cock in the restroom at the Cato Institute bar every Friday from 4 to 6received a grant from Heritage Foundation to study this topic in 2007"? And then goes on writing as though absolved of any conflict of interest?Jimmy John's started in the hot dog biz, so that strikeout item is of a business model that has shown success.
So, "Commie Mom" didn't give it away? Or the name "Schoenkopf"? Anyway, you're totally wrong. If I were WRITING about them I should disclose. if I want them to write for me, there's no conflict. But try again!
"Kill a commie for mommy!", is what I thought.
Cause I are good Amurkin.
~
This the Noo Jornomalism, where words are smaller and irrelevancies are shock-and-appalling, yet corporate toolery is to be expected and honored. In other words, dra moar pikshurs.
I'm about 99% sure you've even linked to stories written by Commie Mom before; am I wrong?
Why is this time a sticking point for this
sockpuppetnoble commenter?No I don't think I have. I tweet her stories a lot though.
Does the "I talked to the President about being born in the same hospital" count as a story? If so, then yeah … but who gives a shit? As you said above, you were posting/linking to a story, not writing about it. They can shove those silver shoes up their slimy ass as far as I'm concerned.
oh for fucks sake, … mom libel.
I really got it wrong. I just saw "commie" and "Schoenkopf" and figured I was reading something by Rebecca. Going along in my usual clueless state I was shocked to realize the the new Editrix had a nine year old son–twenty years ago. How very strange.
OOPS.
He's very old for his age.
Thanks, silvershoes. I didn't understand it either.
Is that your mom or sis?
Update: Got it.
Probably one of the most interesting things I have read all week. Maybe longer. I wonder where those kids are now.
The rich and privileged used to say "Let them eat cake."
Now it's the job creators and the "successful" who say "Let's make a cake…OK."
Now they say: "Borrow $60,000 from your folks and start a chain of cake stores."
And then sell it to Bain Capital…
Or have Ann Rmoney say to the help: "Make me a cake."
“I love the fact that there are women out there who don’t have a choice and they must go to work and they still have to make the cakes. "
"have Ann Rmoney say to the help: "Make me a cake.""
Oh, you might want to be careful about that. Havng The Help make a super special chocolate cake didn't work out well for the boss-lady in that movie.
mr fuflans – mr fuflans is very wise unlike hot headed, impetuous often drunk and ALWAYS pissed off ms. fuflans – remarked on thursday that 'risk' and 'risk taking' have become the new 'noble' and 'nobility'.
to whit: we owe them something b/c of their 'extraordinary contributions to the advancement of society and the important role they play'.
The article is moving and contains a warning the right wing is not hearing. "There is only so much shit we will eat". Amen Sister, Amen.
Righties roll along and think that their guns will protect them from the bad stuff happening in the world. What they don't realize is the guns will not protect from the Wall Street criminals and the right wing dictators who are increasingly trying to rule by fear. And the campaign underway is bringing more fear, prejudice and hatred; but there is only so much shit we will eat.
What I hear you saying here is, buy more and bigger guns. Good tip.
No one notices your tiny penis when there's a great big gun right next to it.
The wingnuts think that Wall Street criminals and right wing dictators are on their side.
Well, the Wall Street criminals and right wing power brokers don't seem to realize that rent a cops in gated communities really aren't going to take a bullet for them (or a pitchfork, for that matter), so they are pretty similar to the myopic idiots who think their handgun would hold off a mob of thousands in the street.
Commie Mom sounds like one hell of a lady. I think Commie Daughter probably is too.
Oh, dear… what to single out for discussion… far too many fab quotes in the piece to choose just one. Arrrrrrrrrrggggghh!! OPTIONS PARALYSIS!!
And then Paul Haggis made Crash, which taught us all how to live in peace, the end.
Great movie, but I made the mistake of watching it the same night as Magnolia, and I was drinking, of course, so it's all sort of jumbled together in my head and I get a case of the weirds every time I think about LA.
Same thing happened when I watched Collateral and Mulholland Drive on the same night, drinking.
I find that combination of movies extremely difficult to masturbate to.
I once read "Focault's Pendulum" and "A Prayer for Owen Meany" at the same time under a similar chemical duress. Man, that was an awesome book.
I liked the part where the Knights Templar were escorting bodies back from Vietnam.
So the game "Assassin's Creed" does the whole Templar conspiracy thing like the book, and they throw in a good dose of parkour and martial arts. It even adds in trends from the 90's, like DNA and VR.
One of those things where you really should read the book first.
The days of the riot are remembered by the local Korean-Americans in a simple phrase "gae saeki "… that basically means Son of a Bitch…the whole fucking 'Come to America to Work Hard and Prosper' is burning to the ground around us!!
(I may of mistranslated the last bit there)
Oh yes, the 90's. Things happened. While Barack Obama plotted to ruin America, Good times.
So, 20 years later, to answer Rodney's question, "We Can't".?
Bless her and all teachers who help young kids deal with these kinds of life-changing events. How anyone could undervalue their service to society (I'm talking to you Scott Walker et. al.!) is beyond me.
Speaking as a humbled son, husband, and brother-in-law of under-appreciated public school teachers, thank you, Commie Mommie, for everything that you, and those who can't, do.
I literally owe you my life, and I know that I'm not alone.
APPLES ALL AROUND!
Me too. Son, grandson, ex-husband and brother to teachers, who do one of the most important things people can do. Thank goodness they're remunerated like hedge fund managers.
I mean, in money. Not the same amounts of money because…you know—that wouldn't be right. The difference is made up by satisfaction.
Moms always make good Commies.
There's far too much good news on Wonkette these days.
All peace, love, dove, all the time!
So here.
Former poster child for missing kids gets 25 in child rape.
ALBANY, N.Y. (AP) – A man who was a poster child for victimized children has been sentenced to at least 25 years in prison for raping and choking a 10-year-old girl.
~
"When he [Adam Croote] was 2, his father killed his pregnant mother and left him alone with her body in Hinesville, Ga"
Isn't that the same back-story as the bassist from Dethklok?
Yes, indeed it is.
But enough of this text, how 'bout some musik??
~
The Metallica dig is beautiful.
In Tucson, this little girl has been missing for a week.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gKMfnW_fjyE&fe…
Uh….WTF with the "Our Gang" video?
Did you mean maybe this story? http://usnews.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/04/26/1140…
Tanks.
Sorry, was heavily medicated all weekend.
The rioting basically burned out a couple blocks from where I grew up (I was away at college, but was kinda freaked out when the overhead shots were of the junior college and strip mall two weeks from my street). I was actually struck by the restraint shown, compared with the Watts riots or other 60s upheaval (as portrayed on video – I wasn't born when those happened). Still, it was a stark reminder that "society" only works as long as we all buy into the common mythology – once any good size segment says "fuck this shit" the rest of us are in deep, regardless of how well armed we may or may not be.
once any good size segment says "fuck this shit" the rest of us are in deep, regardless of how well armed we may or may not be.
That is the most succinct description of "the common good" I have ever seen – bravo.
Thanks for posting this–I'm in LA now but was not here for the riots, so I find the history very interesting.
Word of warning–if you go to YouTube and search for "LA riots 1992," several people posted news footage and clips but do not, *do not*, DO NOT!!! read the comments people left if you want to maintain any faith in humanity…
Generally speaking, YouTube comments leave little faith in humanity… a simple 90 second clip of Hunter S. Thompson on drugs pretending to be mortally ill has something like 45,000,000 comments on it involving a battle over whether Germany or the US is morally superior…how the fuck did that happen? And don't get me started on newspaper comments, which are the shithole of shitholes.
Live blogging during the White Correspondents dinner?
I mean White House Correspondents dinner, drunk again still.
Oh wait its Jimmy Kimmel, never mind then
Call me when the comedians show up.
Utterly off-topic, but I thought I'd mention an essay I read this afternoon, one of the Texas 10th-grade annual testing exams that I've been scoring online.* So this one girl is writing about how she'd always assumed abortion was never justified, but then she says she had a friend who, at 15, got pregnant and her boyfriend was a druggie and neither would have been a good parent, and life for any child born into that situation would be a nightmare for all concerned. According to the student, her friend's experience completely changed her mind on the issue.
The closing sentence of the essay, however, is either dripping with sarcasm (which was not present elsewhere in the essay) or is just something that the writer didn't think all the way through: "Now I understand why people have abortions. For the baby's well-being."
Ummmmm…
*(Also, every time I mention this job, I feel compelled to link to this terrific essay on how mass essay tests get scored)
Make her repeat 10th grade!
She was speaking in the converse/negative space — the baby's well-being would have been compromised if it had been born. That's a rather advanced rhetorical technique, for a 10th-grader. You should give her an "A".
A spectacularly gifted student, she's making an evident allusion to Nietzsche's Birth of Tragedy, section 3:
First listen to what Greek folk wisdom expresses about this very life which spreads itself out here before you with such inexplicable serenity. There is an old legend that king Midas for a long time hunted the wise Silenus, the companion of Dionysus, in the forests, without catching him. When Silenus finally fell into the king’s hands, the king asked what was the best thing of all for men, the very finest. The daemon remained silent, motionless and inflexible, until, compelled by the king, he finally broke out into shrill laughter and said these words, “Suffering creature, born for a day, child of accident and toil, why are you forcing me to say what would give you the greatest pleasure not to hear? The very best thing for you is totally unreachable: not to have been born, not to exist, to be nothing.
Wait a minute, I thought that the answer to the king's question was "To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women."
As a fictional character, Conan was already feasting on the joys of not existing. So he kind of took it for granted, as people will. So he looked for extra thrills. Appetite comes with the eating, as the saying goes.—
Bravo, sir.
This is why we need to have machines scoring essays. A nice piece of well-behaved software wouldn't be troubled by "irony."
Compound sentences = 2
Complex sentences = 1
Comma faults = -1
Semicolons = 3
Paragraphs of equal length = 2
Total score: 7/12. Admit to selective colleges, pending approval of student video and evaluation by lacrosse coach.
End routine.
Sadly enough….the company I work for is one of several that are already working on it.
And a million upfists and whore diamonds to this comment on the NY Times article, from reader dc lambert:
As a high school English teacher, I've been an unwilling witness to the corporate takeover of our educational system–this robo-grading is merely part of this strategy. The goal is simply to privatize the educational system and funnel as much public monies as possible into private hands, whether it be via technology software and hardware, as here (and thereby slashing labor costs), or having outside corporations like Pearson and No Child Left Behind scorers, processors and 'evaluators' cash in on the Big Business. Who cares if the essay scoring is garbage? Their own kids don't go to public schools.
It is extremely easy to 'fool' the computer scorers to the point that it's a joke–my own low level students figured it out in about 10 minutes.Their best strategy – yielding the highest score with the lowest effort – was not a nonsensical argument as above, in that that at least requires *some* brainpower; it was merely stringing together random 'big' words gotten from the online dictionary.One student even did an experiment since you're allowed to retake. He wrote on essay and got a 2.Then he wrote the identical essay, only he added about 200 extra totally random large words on the bottom, absolute nonsense–and got a 6.
The bigger picture is that education and profits do NOT go together at all. That way leads to mediocrity & ultimately the destruction of our democracy. More articles like this from the Times would help, but I fear it's a far bigger fight than just that.
This is a bigger problem than just the robot takeover of labor. It raises a deeper question. If no one is reading what we write, why should we learn how to write?
It's an odd choice of words — but interestingly, it's an almost mathematically perfect obverse of the anti-choice folks who want to ban abortion and birth control…
for whose benefit?…
for the benefit of…
the non-existent baby.
I don't know; the last line actually made a lot of sense to me. The way I read it, what she is saying is that there are times when it'd be better for the future of the potential child to abort the fetus than to bring it into a hellish situation.
Oh, exactly–I'm quite sure that's what she meant, but on a strictly literal level, it has a "destroy the village in order to save it" quality.
So you're saying we should recommend her for Officer Candidate School?
Har! Here's a couple of winners from today's batch–and I mean that without snark. Both of these essays were fun and smart all the way through:
1) From an essay about being a preacher's kid and moving from one town to another for dad's new church job: "I quietly hoped God was sending me to a much better place than [last town]. He didn't. In fact, I felt like Jonah in the belly of a large U-Haul reluctantly making my way to Ninevah."
2) The last lines of an essay about initially being turned off by Jimi Hendrix's guitar style, to eventually loving and emulating it: " I play so loud that the local cops and I are on a first-name basis. The cops like my music, though, so it's all good."
Some of these kids are really a joy to read :)
These kids are way too smart for this test, and they know it.
One more, which I think may be a contestant for the Bulwer-Lytton Prize:
" I winced in pain as the catheter shifted again."
(turns out it's in a vein, not the location one usually assumes…)
I'd give her an "A", Dok.
You said Texas, right? Consider the competition.
P.S. I took my SATs in Texas, as that's where I was during July of junior year (1976, I think).
If I was to say to you that I was in an enormous, un-airconditioned classroom full of people talking about last night's game and the fights they got into, would you believe me?
P.S. Obviously, I flunked clicking on "reply".
~
sorry for this but… the Japanese writing at the bottom of the image is upside-down, which means it would be right-side-up if you flipped the image. Which is to say, it's upside-down.
/pedantry
What a snob!
thanks commie ladies. these are things that are important.
Live report from this stupid, boring, inane and moronic White House Correspondents Association Dinner: Two male Congressmen seen making out in a downstairs bathroom; that Salahi guy made it into the dinner!; three people throwing up over at the CNN table–it might be the fish they all ordered; Kimmel seen doing tequila and Maker's Mark shots at pre-dinner Bloomberg party, and he was later barfing it up in a bathroom; Michael Bloomber telling everyone he can't stand Ted Nugent; someone putting cheese cubes in their purse at the Post party; three other pre-parties run out of whiskey—someone said that a bartender stole several bottles! This is all normal, though–this crap happens every year at this thing. And the food at the dinner is terrible.
Can't stand Ted Nugent? Does Bloomberg think that makes him special?
Wow, you've really gone into the belly of the beast.
WHICH TWO CONGRESSMEN? Inquiring minds want to know.
It was actually the salmon mousse
Not to mention Santorum fawning over Lindsay Lohan and taking her picture.
Can't snark about this article or the events depicted in it, but Barry KILLED at the Dinner tonight.
As opposed to the guy Rove said you'd want to have beer with. I've decided not to be funny tonight because of the War on Women. Behold comic genius.
True dat! Excellent press club dinner!
Q: What's the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull?
A: A hockey mom is delicious, if you slice her thinly, marinate in vinaigrette, and grill over medium heat for three minutes on each side.
Don't forget the fava bans and a nice chianti.
The War on Women: It's what's for dinner tonight.
Bamz made Kimmel look like a rank amateur. Can our Pres be Pres and a late night comedy host at the same time?
Kimmel should have tossed all his dog eating jokes – Bamz got there first and funnier. Kimmel had a handful of good moments, but I think he bombed overall. Kimmel needs better writers, (!), a lot of his jokes were dated and dumb, and his timing was bizarrely off.
No one can match Colbert, but Seth Meyers was vastly better than Kimmel.
"I haven't seen The Hunger Games. Not enough class warfare for me."
Thanks Rebecca. My hatred for whitey is even stronger now. Can't wait for the Bushwick Bill hologram
Geto Boys 4 life
Indeedy . Actually I've been on a Geto Boys kick lately….going back to the essence when the rap game had something to say.
Your mind is playing tricks on you.
Saw the fancy dinner on CSPAN, last night. Mr. President, stay away from the dog-eating jokes. I repeat, stay away from the dog-eating jokes. Thanks.
Honestly, the pitbull and hockey mom joke was just plain terrible, first, because the punchline was a non-sequiter that didn't make any sense, and then because it was another joke about eating dogs.
Usually I agree with everything you write, N, but I have to say that I loved the "audacity" of his telling that joke. And it wasn't a non-sequiter – it just required a moment to think about it.
And I'm a total dog-lover, involved with dog rescue. I think his jokes were his way of saying that all this dog tit-for-tat retaliatory bombing is overblown.
Explain the joke to me. I've been running it in my head all day and still don't get what the joke was. That hockey moms aren't delicious? And, delicious in what way, literally, or figuatively? If literally, what the hell does that mean, and if figuratively, doesn't that totally make it a crass sex joke that your creepy uncle would tell you? I don't get it.
I understand your confusion. But it isn't hockey moms that are delicious — it is pitbulls that are delicious. You know – dog. It refers to all the flap about Obama having eaten dog meat when he was a boy in Indonesia.And then, of course, it refers even further back to Palin's joke at the Repub convention in 2008 when she quipped “You know what the difference between hocky moms and pitbulls are – lipstick.” (or was it soccer moms??)
Are you really confused? I know I replied to you on another thread, and excuse me if I'm boring you.
I am a 64 year old white guy. I had no trouble at all perceiving the joke as
1. a reference to the recent Obama-ate-dogs-as-a-child bullshit
2. a beautiful slam at TundraTwat's hockeymom/pitbull meme from 2008.
Despite my age, I can usually recognize and appreciate a crass sex joke in nanoseconds. There was no crass sex joke here, unless you insist in distorting reality to make it seem so. Probably, some Repugs will try to do this, but really, it's a hard row.
The joke was a non sequitur. It's supposed to seem absurd. Listen to background noise — it takes a minute to die out. That is a motherfucking great joke. These villagers are never gonna take any shots at Bamz about dogmeat — he's turned it into a joke.
Dear Rebecca, for the most part you are doing a fine job and, funny as Ken Layne was, I've no objection to Wonkette showing a somewhat more humanized face.
But nothing at all on the White House correspondent's dinner? I mean, of course it is a stupid event, where politicians and members of the press make stupid jokes, but hey….isn't that what Wonkette is all about?
Well, it IS a weekend. Have we gotten accustomed to weekend posting so quickly?
Oh, and Wonkette is about ass fucking and dick jokes, I thought. Which is another way of saying "Republican Congressmen".
I got up this morning and said to Mr Geminisunmars "I can't wait to see what the Wonketteers had to say about the White House Correspondent's Dinner." I guess I should have just stayed in bed. (Although I haven't read all the way through this thread yet — still I thought there'd be hilarious live blogging to wade through.)
Really, I can't even leave the house on a Saturday night, even though you already had two Saturday posts and a Friday WHCD preview? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET LAID?
Oh Rebecca – that's what you have underlings for! You need to start oppressing the little people.
For the writing, I mean. Oppressing the little people to get laid is just tacky.
Mm, if you can give me six hours of lead time, I can be in the neighborhood. I won't even care if you call it off. I like LA. Don't get there enough.
I can't help you with the Saturday night posts, what with living too far in the woods to have Internet service at home any more, but I'm sure we can find some Wonketteers here who can help you with getting laid. Considering our collective guttermind and obsession with asfucking, skullfucking and fucking in general, I'm surprised not to see more offers already. What's wrong with you people?- this is a cry for fucking help, the best kind of help there is!!!1!
Actually, I think it was more similar to a cry of, "You f *ing little perverts stop peeking in my f* ing bedroom windows."
Dearest Rebecca,
You must not be reading my scripted missives. I will check with the Postman.
To recap, I will happily be of assistance.
B
Dear Rebecca, for the most part you are doing a fine job and, funny as Ken Layne was, I've no objection to Wonkette showing a somewhat more humanized face.
However, nothing at all on the big White House Press Correspondent's Dinner and festival of lame jokes? That's supposed to be Wonkette's raison d'etre.
AGAIN. You people have become WAY TOO FUCKING SPOILED. When is the last time you got weekend posting? And now that you have it consistently, several per day, I am supposed to stay in on Saturday night too to transcribe JIMMY FUCKING KIMMEL?
You are all fired.
Dear, dear Rebecca: Wonkette is not a red diaper baby forum. It's supposed to be funny, about funny things politicians do and so forth. You are not Wonkette material, despite your obvious intelligence.
My diaper looks white, but it's actually pink. From all the borscht I eat.
I'm drunk.
So, you're a radish?
Dear, dear, double M: Do you not believe that the Rodney King riots were political? Do you think that politics — and the effect of political decisions and actions — starts at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. and ends at K Street?
Your blinkered and narrow minded response ("about funny things politicians do and so forth, herp, derp") makes me think of the polka loving officer in Good Morning, Vietnam. I must stop now, before the bile chokes me.
Oh, one last thing, before I forget: Fuck you.
Seriously, what a tool asshole.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
Excuse my French, but could you please go fuck yourself? Thanks a bunch in advance.
Wait a second. This nym has been around for some time now, and has been generally Wonkish. Should we not ask for some context before invoking the autofornication?
Anybody else out there missing Ana Marie Cox?
OT, but Mitten's is trying to take credit for the auto-bailout again. He still won't take credit for healthcare reform, though.
Mitt has always been at war with Realitystan
…For fuck's sake.
Mittens is just showing demonstrating quantum physics for us! He can hold two opposing positions simultaneously – it's SCIENCE.
One hopes that when the quantum state collapses in November, Schroedinger's Mitten will unravel into nonexistent strings.
Dear Becca,
I love your Mom.
Sincerely,
Boojum
Help.. Rebecca, just a lame post or two over the weekend would help me not to hear the funeral music. Here in Hanoi it is traditional to play discordant music if the family can afford it. I love traditional VN music. Several times a week, I have to listen to funeral music unless I am trying to read the big words what people right here to coment.
Ms Schoenkopf:
It has come to my attention that you are writing things on your blog that are different from some imagined ideal that I vaguely have in mind for a blog post that I would like to read, or that I would myself write were I capable of stringing sixteen words together. This failure to produce the Platonic Ideal of a blog is greatly offensive to me, and I wish to protest in the strongest possible way. Please change the flavor of the free ice cream that you are distributing here.
Thanks in advance for your quick attention to my very serious concerns.
Sincerely,
MiniMencken
sfr, you too. Although, really good.
Dok,
You have better things to do with your time, good as this was.
I tend to appreciate the Rebecca like such as. We're all in this together as U.S. Americans and South Africa. Some-uh people and teh map world dingus bleep blorp and the countries and. syntax error
Maps!
Poo soon!
That way Ann can have her cake and eat it too. Fucking cunt. She is to mitt romney the way todd palin is to the wasilla grifter.
Just read this in a Gary Shteyngart profile of rapper MIA; at a concert, he sees "a woman wearing tight shorts with the legend GIRLS DON'T POOP on her ass."
Wait…they don't?
No wonder you guys love anal so much.
One of those situations where it would have been helpful for a wikipedian to slap "[citation needed]" on there.
Correlation does not equal causation, or something. It just might be we're the reason girls don't poop, is what I am trying to say.
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