CHILLING NARRATIVES  1:50 pm April 27, 2012

Latest Obama Web Ad: Bill Clinton Rambles For 90 Seconds

by Jim Newell

How does Bill Clinton always finagle his way into everything? Here’s an ad for the Barack Obama Presidential Campaign in which we find… Bill Clinton babbling for 90 seconds. Sure, why not. He’s like “Yep’m indeedy, Obama sure killed that Osama feller alright. Would Mitt Romney have done that? Ehh maybe.” Silly Bill Clinton. Don’t you know that Obama and his surrogates are not allowed to mention this popular thing he did in his bid for reelection?

Fortunately we have ABC News to make sure the Obama campaign doesn’t get away with this trickster politickery divisiveness. Something is hypocritical, or whatever! That’ll stop ‘em:

The Obama campaign opened up a new line of attack on Mitt Romney Friday, suggesting that as commander-in-chief Romney might not have made the same decision to order an attack by U.S. forces to kill terrorist mastermind Osama bin Laden that President Obama did.

In a new web video titled “One Chance,” the Obama team features former President Bill Clinton praising Obama for deciding to launch the strike last year. “What path would Mitt Romney have taken?” the clip asks.

But four years ago this April, the Obama campaign criticized Democratic rival Hillary Clinton for using Osama bin Laden in a political ad.

On the eve of the 2008 Pennsylvania primary, Clinton’s campaign released a television commercial featuring an image of bin Laden and invoking President Harry S. Truman’s quote: “If you can’t stand the heat get out of the kitchen.”

The ad never mentioned Obama by name, but it was part of the Clinton campaign’s effort to brand the Illinois Senator as inexperienced, especially in the foreign policy arena.

Disgraceful. Barack Obama owes an apology to Osama bin Laden, right now, for using his image in an ad while having criticized his primary opponent four years ago for doing the same. (Was that right or…?) Also, apologize to Ann Romney for something.

[ABC News]

 

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{ 68 comments }

bumfug April 27, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Damn you, liberal media, for being in Obama's pocket!

larryfinexx April 27, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Clinton was the Commander of splooge.

SexySmurf April 27, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Not really; he got it all over the place.

actor212 April 27, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Sort of like our armed forces these past ten years?

QED

Boojum April 27, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Collateral spermage.

SexySmurf April 27, 2012 at 1:57 pm

“What path would Mitt Romney have taken?”

He would have tried to fire him.

actor212 April 27, 2012 at 2:02 pm

True dat!

He would have shorted Al Qaeda's stock on the open market, then bought it all up when it collapsed. He would have restructured the business, focusing on its core principles and values and selling off the unnecessary units, like political influence and Palestinians. Then he would have put it up for an IPO, cashed out Bain's share and fired Osama on the way out the door.

edgydrifter April 27, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Clinton can't figure out why Obama didn't wait until the eve of his impeachment trial to cap Bin Laden. Why anyone would waste such a primo distraction is a real head-scratcher for Bill. Maybe Barack doesn't like Rubenesque interns? Weird.

actor212 April 27, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Well, in fairness, if Clinton was tapping Michelle every night, he might not have bothered with Lewinski.

Moral of the story: marry the hot chick.

ChernobylSoup April 27, 2012 at 2:22 pm

True fact: I gave this comment a thumbs up and my p score immediately dropped a point. What gives?

actor212 April 27, 2012 at 2:26 pm

I'm having a Twitter war with Editrix. She won't loosen my thrall collar and I won't release her….well, let's just say we're both in pain right now.

(kidding, Trixie, baby, you know you're the only one for me! Layne who?)

Mumbletypeg April 27, 2012 at 2:38 pm

sorry to see your p experiencing a meltdown, Chernobyl.

ChernobylSoup April 27, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Expose a little rod and the next thing you know…

LabRodent April 27, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Ahhh the first blah President helping out the second blah President. Yes we Can!

Hera Sent Me April 27, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Obama's experienced and successful in foreign policy.

Romney's experienced and successful in foreign bank accounts.

actor212 April 27, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Would Romney have made the call?

Boy, talk about tossing out a softball!

Chichikovovich April 27, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Since Romney doesn't even dare come out in favor of (or opposed to, for that matter) a second bridge across the Detroit river, as wanted by his best buddy Gov. Snyder, plus the U.S.'s closest trade partner, plus GM, Ford, Chrysler, every major corporation in Michigan (except the one owning the [Poor-] Ambassador Bridge), as well as the (Republican) governors of affected states like Ohio and Indiana, and basically everyone who hasn't been bought and paid for by Matty Maroun, it's hard to imagine him making a call like that.

If he's so terrified of facing a few ads paid for by a rotting-bridge-owning octogenarian sociopath and of alienating a few wingnuts so extreme that they are even opposed to public ownership of international bridges, that he won't even throw a bone to such a crowd of his supporters and allies, then, yes, he is gutless and incapable of that kind of decision.

actor212 April 27, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Yea, but here's the thing: the call was made already, so how hard would it be for Mitt to simply issue an ad that (summed up) says, "Yea, he'd be even deader if I was President"?

Chichikovovich April 27, 2012 at 2:30 pm

"And when, during the primary, I said it wasn't worth it to try to get him? That was just part of my sooper-sekret plan to lull him into a false sense of security."

Boojum April 27, 2012 at 2:54 pm

From your keyboard to Mitt's input ports.

Schmannnity April 27, 2012 at 2:00 pm

What would Mitt Romney do? Baptize Osama posthumously.

actor212 April 27, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Romeny would have sold him one of Ann's Caddies.

Schmannnity April 27, 2012 at 2:25 pm

I didn't know Ann played golf.

actor212 April 27, 2012 at 2:32 pm

She plays polo. She has a whole stable of poloponies.

Blueb4sunrise April 27, 2012 at 2:00 pm

PUMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MarionNYNY April 27, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Damn that Obama, he'll probably take responsibility for bailing out GM, passing health care reform, improving America's image throughout the world and who knows what else. Shameless!

elviouslyqueer April 27, 2012 at 2:30 pm

No no. I believe the word you're looking for is "uppity."

ChernobylSoup April 27, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Classic Rovian maneuvering: Turn an opponent's political asset into a liability. They'll probably trot out bin Laden's orphans and widows at the Republican convention and blame Obama for leaving them homeless.

fuflans April 27, 2012 at 5:24 pm

they'll have to get them from the saudi's first.

Maman April 27, 2012 at 2:03 pm

hahah….. Good one. Like I didn't hear GWB say 9/11 half a billion times during his re-election campaign.

No, really. What are Republicans bitching about?

Sassomatic April 27, 2012 at 2:15 pm

And yet, 9/11 was his massive fuck up. How did he manage to use such a huge fuck up to get himself re-elected? Oh right, people are fucking morons.

Man0nTheStreet April 27, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Wouldn't better Obama ads feature MittBott rambling for 90 seconds?

WunkRocker April 27, 2012 at 2:29 pm

gee the trees here are just the right height…

Man0nTheStreet April 27, 2012 at 2:34 pm

For the Rust Belt: "I love firing people"
For the Bible Belt: "I'm more pro-gay than Teddy Kennedy"

…and so on for the next SIX-AND-A-HALF-MONTHS, hengh?

deoliver47 April 28, 2012 at 11:21 am
noodlesalad April 27, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Totally unfair for Obama to cite things he has done in his capacity as President in his campaign for President. What about all the stuff he hasn't done, but plans to, like the Commie Nazi Kenyan Revolution and more fluoride in the waterz?

Man0nTheStreet April 27, 2012 at 2:26 pm

2nd Term stuff – he'll outline it in the State of the Union next Jan…

Chichikovovich April 27, 2012 at 2:27 pm

And disarming the conservatives and arming the socialists and trade unionists, just like Hitler did!

HistoriCat April 27, 2012 at 2:50 pm

I'm STILL waiting for those FEMA camps. What is taking so long?

noodlesalad April 27, 2012 at 2:56 pm

srsly. I could use some of those government hobo beans.

ifthethunderdontgetya April 27, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Prmary opponent, Secretary of State, whateves.

She's just a secretary – El Fathead
~

SayItWithWookies April 27, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Considering how much the bin Laden family is worth, I think I know what a Romney administration would've done — lowered his taxes.

WunkRocker April 27, 2012 at 2:31 pm

Super-mega-upfist

4TheTurnstiles April 27, 2012 at 2:09 pm
WunkRocker April 27, 2012 at 4:03 pm

Hope the Vultures, the Vultures, the vultures eat Mitt's dead ass up

Wile E. Quixote April 27, 2012 at 2:09 pm

I wonder if we could get the evangelicals to shit themselves (well shit themselves even more) if we spread a rumor that Romney had Mormo-baptised the dead Osama bin Laden.

Sassomatic April 27, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Doesn't Mitt Romney's underwear make his decisions? Apologize to Mitt Romney's underwear, Nobama!

Radiotherapy April 27, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Romney, however, would have no problem ♫ ♬ kill, kill, kill, kill, killing the poor ♫ ♬.

EtchySketchy April 27, 2012 at 2:20 pm

I wish Obama would stop driving around Washington with Bin Laden's body stuffed in a dog-box strapped to the roof of his car.

That's like, "I drink your milkshake, Romney, and spit it back in your face cos I don't even care that it's "your turn."

Callyson April 27, 2012 at 2:26 pm

How long will it take Mittens to flip flop on this one too? "No, when I said we should not go after targets in Pakistan, I meant that Obama should not be the one to get the credit…um, I mean, I meant, Obama is neglecting the Cold War…um, er… "

aguacatero April 27, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Hardball. Me like.

el_donaldo April 27, 2012 at 2:27 pm

I'm not so keen on presidential competitions being over who's got the biggest swinging dick, especially since we ought to be working hard to get people with vaginas into that office, too, but when it's my guy, why the hell not?

Vote for Obama. His dick really is bigger.

actor212 April 27, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Next thread!

el_donaldo April 27, 2012 at 3:27 pm

I know, right? Today I am but a humble segue. Or segway, as my students insist on spelling it.

Guppy April 27, 2012 at 2:36 pm

How does Bill Clinton always finagle his way into everything?

/rimshot

owhatever April 27, 2012 at 2:37 pm

The GOP will counter with an ad that Bush saying he could have killed Osama bit Laden any time he wanted, but that he just didn't think about the numbero uno terrorister in the whole world all that much.

WhatTheHeck April 27, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Think of all the commercial opportunities Bin Laden can generate in a free market.
Banana republic’s Bin Laden Spring offensive line.
Disney’s “Four weddings and Bin Laden’s funeral.” etc, etc

Obama’s just ahead of the curve. That‘s all.

NorthStarSpanx April 27, 2012 at 2:46 pm

"He’s like “Yep’m indeedy, Obama sure killed that Osama feller alright. Would Mitt Romney have done that? Ehh maybe.” Silly Bill Clinton. Don’t you know that Obama and his surrogates are not allowed to mention this popular thing he did in his bid for reelection?"

Yeah, like the GOP kept pulling out that Mission Accomplished photo out. . .what? No?

hagajim April 27, 2012 at 2:50 pm

I think you have the right to use Bin Laden in an ad, when you toasted his ass. That being said, I think Bammers answered that 2 a.m. question pretty fucking well.

actor212 April 27, 2012 at 2:54 pm

And had Hillary in the room, just to rub her nose in it

rambone April 27, 2012 at 3:16 pm

"suppose [Navy SEALs] had been captured or killed. The downside would have been horrible for [Obama]"

Umm, yeah, that would have really sucked for Barry . . . I thank FSM that those words did not fall from our dear leader's mouth (but never fear, the Repubes will waste no time taking that phrase out of context, and ascribing to Obambi, Clinton's poor choice of words in a fucking campaign ad). Does anyone with Obama's Campaign who actually wants him to win review the videos before posting them?

Also, too, WTF Slick Willie? You slipping in your old age or is this some sort of passive-aggressive frenemy bullshit?

littlebigdaddy April 27, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Shorter Bill Clinton: Obama's no Jimmy Carter.

bikerlaureate April 27, 2012 at 3:35 pm

I can't take any article seriously that places a period after Truman's middle initial.

ttommyunger April 27, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Faint praise coming from a man who can't even take command of his own dick for the sake of his Office. Cunt.

fuflans April 27, 2012 at 5:36 pm

yeah, but bill clinton got a blow job.

MozakiBlocks April 27, 2012 at 6:13 pm

Once again for the cheap seats.. "It ain't bragging if you can actually do it"

actor212 April 27, 2012 at 2:56 pm

You gotta do what I do: put a little puppet at the end of it. Kermit works wonders

bagofmice April 27, 2012 at 3:39 pm

You get a reaction?

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