all of them katie

Regular Guy Scott Brown Has Twice As Many Houses As Mitt Romney

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Awwwww yeahMassachusetts Sen. Scott Brown is just a regular guy — a virile human bear rug of a man, ridin’ in his pickup and bein’ a Joe. He also has six houses, which is so many houses it is almost as many as John McCain’s (which were so many he couldn’t remember) and twice as many as Mitt Romney has. (Three.)

That’s cool though, he probably doesn’t live in all of them, because that would be a crazy number of houses to live in. He probably just rents them out, investment-like. And who doesn’t love a landlord! Also, Scott Brown made lots of hundreds of thousands of dollars — spiking at $839,520, about on par with Bammerz, both of them due to yummy book advances — but only gave (at its peak) 3.23 percent to charity, probably because otherwise he might only have five houses, and that would be Sad. [MassLive]

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Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf


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  • Gratuitous World

    yes, but "truck elevators" are much more relatable

  • chascates

    Wow, I just wish I had an old school bus I could call my own to live in.

    • Sharkey

      This one appears to be available.

      • chascates

        Kesey used to have a VCR tape for sale (autographed even) that had highlights of the Pranksters and the bus. I never got around to ordering it and as soon as he died I found his web site but the offer was gone. Someone in Austin had a skoolie they had mounted a VW bus atop of which looked really cool.

        • Sharkey

          This movie had limited release last fall I think, and if you don't want the DVD, Amazon has it streaming.

          Also I found this free documentary about Timothy Leary to be very enlightening, although sad at the end of course.

  • el_donaldo

    That's great. So many places for him to go cry when Warren whips his pretty boy ass.

    • ChernobylSoup

      Hey, you got Elizabeth on my Warren.

      • el_donaldo

        You got Warren on my Elizabeth!

        • Boojum

          Reece's Socialism Cup!

    • elviouslyqueer

      when Warren whips his pretty boy ass


  • ChernobylSoup

    I hope Elizabeth Warren castrates this clown, with votes.

    • Terry

      And a withering stare.

  • Beowoof

    And yet the people who vote for guys like this, live in trailers.

    • Generation[redacted]

      "If you live in a trailer, vote for a truck!"

    • Toomush_Infer

      truck envy….

    • HobbesEvilTwin

      yes, sadly the parts of Massachusetts that are like New Hampshire outnumber the parts of Massachusetts that are like Cambridge.

    • BigSkullF*ckingDog

      I know a guy who lives in a trailer and he has three houses. He just keeps puttin a new trailer in front of the old one when he wears it out.

      • BerkeleyBear

        That's called adding a wing, Dog.

        My wife's grandparents in New Mexico had a plot with 3 trailers and 2 houses on it. They rented one house, a daughter lived in the other, a grandson and his family lived in the Airstream, and grandma and grandpa lived in a doublewide that was attached to the original "manufactured home", effectively creating a "triplewide", although not a fancy one like Huckabee lived in while the governor's mansion in Arkansas was being renovated. And the whole parcel was in the middle of what was basically industrial property.

        I visited once before I got married and wondered just what the fuck white trash hell I was getting involved with. But I went ahead anyways – tribute to the power of pussy.

        • Isyaignert

          To the power of pussy!!!

  • MissTaken

    Hey Scott! When you think about how easy it is to get all those home mortgages these days be sure to thank Elizabeth Warren for pushing the paperwork to be simplified.

  • Chet Kincaid

    The Boston Globe estimated that Brown's suede barn coat cost $675 (Boston Globe 1/28/10).

    Scott Brown's barn contains a Golden Calf, also.

    • James Michael Curley

      A suede barn coat? A Suede BARN coat? I paid less then that for the last Burberry's Trench I bought (in 1983).

      • Chet Kincaid

        Scott's barn also houses a cash cow.

    • actor212

      Must be an awful small barn if it only needs a coat and not insulation.

    • Doktor StrangeZoom

      What sort of idiot makes a barn out of suede?

      • actor212

        A rich one?

  • comrad_darkness

    The mouth breathers will love him all the more for it.

  • SorosBot

    So the daughter are both hot and rich? Sign me up!

  • Fare la Volpe

    I'm Robin Leech, and welcome to Lifestyles of the Rich and Shamless.

  • WiscDad

    You're all just jealous because you don't have a big hairy treasure trail like ol' Scotty. Wonder if Lizzie has one…hhmmmm

    • anniegetyerfun

      Stairway to Heaven, is what we used to call them in college.

  • Callyson

    Brown owns as much as $50,000 of stock in Exxon Mobil (May 2011 Financial Disclosure Form).
    Brown has invested as much as $50,000 in the Bank of America (May 2011 Financial Disclosure Form).

    What, no BP stock? He could have hit the trifecta of most hated companies!

    (Also, Elizabeth, release the damn six years of tax returns–don't give fodder to their side when you HAVE to win this one for the sake of the country…)

  • anniegetyerfun

    I do love me some man-bush, but I'm not into white guys, so this picture is always confusing for me.

  • MissTaken

    His happy trail leads all the way from House #1 to House #6.

    • SorosBot

      Someone needs to learn to shave himself.

      • actor212

        Needs moar wax

  • Blueb4sunrise

    I'd like to have a beer in each of his houses. Not with him, just wanna go in and drink the beer.

  • WhatTheHeck

    I wonder if he used any credit unions to secure all those mortgages?

  • Exhausted66

    He sees a world of Haves and Soon-To-Haves so I for one am excited for my extra houses. Someplace to put these damn teenagers.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Hell, at 800 grand a year, the motherfucker probably still isn't rich enough to be voting in his best interests. Which I guess makes him a regular-guy Republican.

    • chicken_thief

      Right. I almost feel sorry for him. It must be embarrassing for him to hang out with the "real Republicans", the ones that pay more for a bottle of wine than he did for his pseudo-regular-guy-but-really-Brokeback Mountain-ish barn jacket.

  • ifthethunderdontgetya

    Love the Mr. Robinson's Neighborhood clip.

    P.S. CILL My Landlord.

  • gout

    "but only gave (at its peak) 3.23 percent to charity,"

    Jeez, he let all the ladies see his nads, what more do you want from him?

  • actor212

    twice as many as Mitt Romney has. (Three.)

    Mitt's is bigger.

    Come on, we've all seen the pictures!

  • Chow Yun Flat

    The Massachusetts Democratic Party released a new video this morning portraying him as "a millionaire under that $675 barn jacket."

    His barn jacket = my rent.

  • owhatever

    The senator denies that he never ever had sex with a barn owl.

  • hagajim

    A $700 fucking dollar jacket!??! And he's trying to make Warren out as the out of touch elite one? Holy shit!

  • ThundercatHo

    I'll bet you $10,000 that Miss Lindsey and/or Marcus has that picture taped up inside their closet.

    • chicken_thief

      Miss Lindsay just lurks in the Congressional locker room, waiting with bated breath…

    • valthemus

      Gripping a copy of Aaron Schock's magazine cover.

      • Isyaignert

        I have no idea what that means, but it sounds good to me.

  • SoBeach

    "…and twice as many as Mitt Romney has…"

    But to be fair Mitt went on a selling spree after learning that voters might be just a little put off by his nationwide string of mansions. He's down to three now, but only because he wants to be president real, real bad.

  • bikerlaureate

    I'm so jealous of his success, I'm going to vote the straight DemocRAT ticket just out of spite.

  • ttommyunger

    Boy, you shore have a pretty mouth, now drop them panties right now!

  • Veritas78

    Seriously, I'm trying to figure out when he earned all that money, doing what. He brags about how poor he was growing up and through college. Then in the early 90s he started snuffling at the public trough as an assessor, then a state rep and state senator, and being in the national guard. None of which adds up to a net worth of over a million, unless his law practice billings in the 80s were kicking ass.

  • Negropolis

    Pretty good for spending his youth as a wayward, youth criminal. No, really. His daddy sure as hell didn't help him. It's also rather impressive given that he's as dumb as a box of rocks.

    Now, it time to get a real senator back in Ted Kennedy's seat. Scott Brown might be an acceptable choice for some random, rural, New England House seat, but as a senator from the state of Massachusetts? No way, no how. He's an earnest dullard, bless his heart, but he's still a dullard.

    • Isyaignert

      You said, "bless his heart" like a real, nice person; however, I think I know what it really means in nice Southern speak, and I agree.

      • Negropolis

        There is never an occasion where "bless his heart" is not an insult. lol

  • Isyaignert

    You can see his pubes in that pic. That is so uncomely, among other things. Ewwwwww!!!!!