cry cry cry baby cry cry

John Boehner Has New Bar For ‘Beneath Dignity’ Of Presidency: Obama Flying In His Plane (Video!)

trail of tearsJohn Boehner is so sad you guys. Won’t Obama PLEASE pay up and reimburse the nation for the $179,000 per hour in taxpayer munneez it costs when he goes places and talks to people? Going to colleges and firing up popular support for the extension of low interest rates on college loans is especially “pathetic,” Boehner says, because everybody knew the extension was gonna get passed! Everyone, of course, except for all the Teabaggers and GOP regulars who were voting against it. Like this guy, who is the chairman of the Education Committee!

“Bad policy based on lofty campaign promises has put us in an untenable situation,” said Rep. John Kline, R-Minn., and chairman of the House Committee on Education and the Workforce. ” We must now choose between allowing interest rates to rise or piling billions of dollars on the backs of taxpayers.”

So, you know, except for that. What else is beneath the office of the presidency today? Campaigning, teleprompters, vacations, golf, Air Force 1, being a celebrity, being “cool,” being funny, singing, wearing sharp suits, and anything Michelle does ever, because fat bitch.

But wait, Speaker Boehner, is your complaint particularly disingenuous this time? Well, lessee:

President Bush is using Air Force One for re-election travel more heavily than any predecessor, wringing maximum political mileage from a perk of office paid for by taxpayers.
While Democratic rival John Kerry digs into his campaign bank account to charter a plane to roam the country, Bush often travels at no cost to his campaign simply by declaring a trip “official” travel rather than “political.”

Gonna go with “yes.”


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Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

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  1. DocChaos

    The White House has announced that responding to Boehner's petty complaints is beneath the dignity of the Presidency.

  2. ThundercatHo

    Hey, Boner? You are a disgrace to our state and our nation. How about after your daily taint-licking from Cantor you take a big box of tissues, go sit on a bar stool and drink yourself into a coma? Asshole.

    1. twaingirl

      I live near Reading. We have plenty of bars that would welcome him back with open arms. Meanwhile Cincinnati tries to move into the 21st century, leaving his suburb behind.

  3. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    He's black! Okay? There I said if for you douches. He's black. That is the only problem you have or ever will have with him. He has more pigment in his skin than he should and that is a problem.

    What a bunch of pathetic old losers.

    1. Man0nTheStreet

      Stop playing the Race Card, you reverse-racist race-hustling racist!

      It's always Race with you Nig Libs!

    2. Darklady

      Now, now. Don't limit the number of ways that the GOP can reflexively hate this POTUS.

      In addition to his unrepentant blackness, he's also a product of miscegenation — and he's a Democrat.

      The GOP likes blacks fine, so long as they're well-behaved like Herman Cain, who never did anything wrong except hit on a few sluts. But they were Republican sluts, so that's okay.

  4. Callyson

    "…insisting that Congress fix a problem that we were already working on."

    Yeah, well, when this Congress works on something, it's usually a problem.

    "…for the President to make a campaign issue out of this…"

    Republicans sure like their quiet rooms, don't they Wish they *would* go in their rooms and be quiet…

    1. bikerlaureate

      A "campaign issue," as redefined by these GOP liars, is anything that reveals what obstructionist grifters they are.

  5. edgydrifter

    In Boehner's mind, Obama is perpetually running down some litter-strewn alley with Air Force One tucked under his arm a 40 of malt liquor in his hand. Just another uppity looter.

    1. sewollef

      Thought: What if Mr Obama had a suit made up from the confederate battle flag?

      Doesn't seem to be a problem in Tennessee.

  6. Man0nTheStreet

    At least this uppity Obama character could have the decency to sit in the back of the plane… that alone will reduce the cost of "sanitizing" it afterwards…

  7. FakaktaSouth

    Mr. Hell No You Can't thinks making POLICY for a country is beneath the Government, getting drunk and passing out checks from Tobacco companies on the House floor is for dignified gentle folk. Shut your face.

  8. Antispandex

    " We must now choose between allowing interest rates to rise or piling billions of dollars on the backs of taxpayers.”

    Yes, he knows we are talking about raising the rates on bazillionaires, but how are they supposed to get by with last years Prada? You would think that the American public could be just a little more sensitive!

    1. Generation[redacted]

      Much better to pile those billions on the backs of aspiring students, eh Boner?

  9. EatsBabyDingos

    I wish they would build an outhouse in the Oval Office, and put Boner n the poop room. Then he would be doubly beneath the office of the president.

  10. freakishlywrong

    Did anyone tell Boner that all the assholes in his caucus already voted against keeping the rate low by voting for the Ryan "budget"?

  11. Redhead

    Boehner's looking a little pale there. Is all this legislamating cutting into his tanning salon time?

  12. Biel_ze_Bubba

    "We must now choose between allowing interest rates to rise or piling billions of dollars on the backs of taxpayers.”

    In GOPtardistan, putting the same billions on the backs of students is perfectly OK. Probably because those young commies are gonna vote for Obama.

  13. clblabin

    In Boehner's defense, he is a weepy, soulless bronze asshole without a single redeeming quality who wakes up every day, reeking of cigarettes and gin, thinking of new ways to undermine the country whose big fat paychecks he cashes.

  14. SorosBot

    MY god, Obama actually wants the government to do its basic fucking job and help the American people; how awful!

  15. SayItWithWookies

    That damn liberal president sure does make it hard for nice guy John Boehner to whip the troops into voting for the stupid, greedhead, math-illiterate, woman-hating, soak-the-kids-and-the-poor, homeschooling, warmongering, gay-hating, wall-building important legislation that he's trying to pass to create jobs, doesn't he?

  16. owhatever

    I know it's early, but I'm beginning to suspect a landslide win for Obama. The other side seems intent on rubbing a shit pie in the faces of every American, and they are showing no signs of slowing up.

    1. oldedinvn

      You misunderestimate the stupility of 50% of Umerica. Granted, the other 60% unnerstand what is happening. But, will they vote?

    2. chicken_thief

      Vast swaths of the Midwest and South, no matter how many GOP policies fuck them, will still vote for any R because guns and Jesus.

      1. Biel_ze_Bubba

        Because when white muscular Republican Jeebus stands his ground and shoots a gay black Muslim guy in a hoodie … that's the Real America™.

        You gotta admit, it's exceptional.

  17. Doktor StrangeZoom

    Obama doing what every other President has done is ABSOLUTELY an affront to the dignity of the office–because of course, anytime a Near does white-people stuff, it's a mockery, like a doggie standing on its hind legs, or a monkey dressed up in a three-piece suit. Duh.

  18. Mumbletypeg

    Boehner must have decided it was "beneath his dignity" to bounce quarters off the sheets and inspect the hospital-corners when it comes to fact-checking the contrived sh!t he's planning to assert — instead settling for talking-point rot; vague, baseless accusatory tripe; and misplaced blame for stalled progress shoved up his ass by Koch Inc., I no longer have any doubt. Whoever's been their Biggest Schmoozer til now, Boehner just made them look "That much smaller" in comparison.

  19. Doktor StrangeZoom

    Actually, I always thought that a reinforced concrete bunker was beneath the office of the President, a couple hundred feet down.

    1. Chichikovovich

      Exactly. Right next to the sealed chamber holding the bodies of all the Clinton and Obama death list victims.

      1. Doktor StrangeZoom

        And next to the screening room where this happens:

        I have this feeling that whoever is elected president, like Clinton was, no matter what you promise on the campaign trail – blah, blah, blah – when you win, you go into this smoke-filled room with the twelve industrialist capitalist scum-fucks who got you in there. And you're in this smoky room, and this little film screen comes down … and a big guy with a cigar goes, "Roll the film." And it's a shot of the Kennedy assassination from an angle you've never seen before … that looks suspiciously like it's from the grassy knoll. And then the screen goes up and the lights come up, and they go to the new president, "Any questions?"

        –Bill Hicks

  20. OneYieldRegular

    Why is Boehner still here? He's been whiny, petty and inept as House Leader. If he stood in a tall enough bucket he'd have drowned in his own self-pitying tears by now. He has this permanent petulant expression that consistantly telegraphs how much he just can't wait to get away from his job and have a big tinkly highball out on the golf course. So what's keeping him around?

  21. SheriffRoscoe

    I wish he would have bawled while giving that speech. It would have been a marvelous demonstration of upholding the dignity of high elected office.

  22. Biff

    Jeebuscristo I'm fucking sick of the lies about, among other things, fuel costs. I have yet to pay as much as I was paying back in 2005 and 2008 for months on end, seeing cars abandoned on the side of the road because the owners couldn't afford to put gas in the tank to get to work, etc, which ground us to a halt, btw. Fuck you, fucking fuckwit boner, and get the fuck out of my state!

  23. imissopus

    Yeah! He should stay in Washington and work with Congress on the issue so they can drag him into hours and hours and hours of fruitless negotiations in which Republicans refuse to give an inch, then go running for the nearest microphones to cry that the president won't meet them halfway, or promise the president something and then go running for the nearest microphones to take it back. That's how you keep things dignified!

  24. Toomush_Infer

    Is Boehner using that pulpit on our dime? Because if he is, and in a partisan way (my God!) I want him to reimburse me personally for wasting my fucking time…..

  25. smitallica

    Maybe Boehner would feel better if the President flew his big expensive plane to Texas every other week on the taxpayer's dime to clear fucking brush on a fake ranch in a goddamn cowboy hat.

  26. James Michael Curley

    All he has to do is say "9/11" three times and click his heels together. Then the trip is a 'war on terror' expense. Worked for Bush.

  27. spends2much

    I only skimmed the article… John Boehner… beneath… dignity.
    I'm sure that sums it up.

  28. horsedreamer_1

    "I went from Phoenix, AZ, all the way to Tacoma, Philadelphia, Atlanta, LA…"

    Compared to Steve Miller, Obama is an ace planner.

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