Marco Rubio: The hand goes up, the mouth goes shut“We face an abundance of hard choices,” said Ol’ Walnuts, John McCain, discussing the Senate’s vote to reauthorize the Violence Against Women Act. “Divisive slogans and declaring of phony wars are intended to avoid those hard choices and to escape paying a political price for doing so.”

It is good to know that the War on Women is divisive and phony (and anyway Obama started it)! Then about five seconds after McCain finished talking, 31 male Republican senators voted against reauthorizing VAWA (which provides funding for domestic violence shelters and law enforcement and all sorts of other special-interest nonsense, because it might cause somebody to stop beating Messicans and gays.

In fact every female senator, including the GOPpy kind, voted to reauthorize VAWA despite the fact that it would extend protections to gays and lesbians, illegals, and Injuns. (It probably helped that Lisa Murkowski, lady senator of Alaska, got an EARFUL from all her rugged individualist moose-hunting sistren when she voted for the Blunt Amendment, which would have allowed employers to pick and choose whether their whore employees got slut pills, and immediately groveled that she regretted her vote.) Oh well, all those ladies will probably get Hatched when it is time for them to run for reelection. Sorry, chicks. Next time try not having fallopes!

Who voted agin it? Not McCain — he’s been around long enough to remember that this is actually a historically bipartisan law, and he’s got a bevy of sex-positive Ladies to home. But Lindsey Graham did. And all your usual suspects — your Coburns and Inhofes and Demints, your Ghost Strom Thurmonds and your Jesse Helmses — they voted against it too.

Marco Rubio, R-Havana, voted against money for women’s shelters and Native American enforcement also in addition, which means, we would gather, that Mitt Romney’s hand up his butt is a no vote as well. [NYT]

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  • edgydrifter

    Every day a gay Mexican goes unbeaten, an angel loses its wings.

  • mrpuma2u

    Them uppity wimminz don't need no shelterz, if they run their yaps and git smacked they haddit cummin!!! Now go buy me sumoor beerz!!!!

  • prommie

    Stepping on their dicks again, cutting off their heads to spite their Obama.

  • SexySmurf

    31 male Republican senators voted against reauthorizing VAWA

    They've been under a lot of stress lately, and it's kinda my fault for nagging them so much. But don't worry, they bought me flowers and promised they will vote for it next time.

    • They didn't mean to vote against it. I believe that. They probably just had a bad day at the office and only wanted to get some beers and watch the TV.

      • Doktor StrangeZoom

        The reauthorization bill just walked into a door, is all. Happens all the time.

        • HateMachine

          Sometimes I wonder if there's that one guy out there whose lady-friend actually walks into a door, and nobody on earth believes them.

          Sort of a "boy who cried wolf" scenario, only it was a bunch of other assholes who cried "door" for them.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Yours is a chillingly accurate representation of a female Republican voter.

    • You know, if wimmens hadn't had so many headaches and held back on their wifey duties, the menz wouldn't have cheated on them like this, so those sperm vessels deserved it.

  • V572 Fehrnstrom

    These "women" with their "rights." Don't they ever give it a rest? Show me in the Constitution where it says you can't discipline your wife from time to time.

    Next thing you know we'll have a negro problem. The only thing that can really fix this is if we elect a president from a truly patriarchal religion—a Mormon, for instance.

  • SorosBot

    See, when a no brainer like reauthorizing the violence against women act becomes a "hard choice", that's when you know a party has been completely taken over by the crazies.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      "hard choice" = anything that doesn't directly cut taxes for the rich

  • Exhausted66

    Until it protects people with premature comb-overs, I cannot support it.

  • el_donaldo

    Ah ha! Hey, GOP, optics – yer doin' it wrong.

  • boobookitteh

    I'm surprised no one came up with "No. you're a sexist for thinking there's violence against women!"

    • V572 Fehrnstrom

      Don't give them ideas.

    • doloras

      I can see how that would work. "Why do you think women are victims?"

  • freakishlywrong

    The "Senate" passed it though, that's all the rubes will hear. Like when Republicans filibuster the shit out of everything; the "senate" failed to pass something and are "broken" and "dysfunctional" and not bipartisan.

  • It's not like Lindsy ever liked vagina anyway.

    • chicken_thief

      Except that cunt, Walnuts.

    • oldedinvn

      I thought he was all for that there VAWA bill because he hates being bitch slapped.

  • Ruhe

    This is complex legislation so I won't leap to adopting a position on it until I've heard Janine Turner's analysis…in anagram format, of course.

    • I think she's got at least 63 Bullet Points for the bill.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Lol. That's a sweet hunk o' sacasm I can sink my teeth into this fine morning.

      I'll think I'll skip the donuts today, even.

    • mrpuma2u

      OK lets give JT some help, here is a suggestion for her:

      S STOP thinking your rights are as important as a mans
      L LEARN to please your man better, is dinner ready yet?
      U UNLEARN all that equality bullshit the liberal lame stream media pushed down your throat all your life
      T Take one for the team, you might not have gotten backhanded if you knew your place and weren't running your mouth.

      • tessiee

        *golf clap*

    • Wile E. Quixote

      If this law hadn't passed you'd be able to smack her uppity bitch Hollywood ass for not having your analysis ready yet, and also so she'd make you a sandwich.

  • chicken_thief

    Bitches gotta learn to parry and duck.

  • Schmannnity

    Why can't the invisible hand of the market restrain or block the blows of violent domestic partners?

  • Monica Crowley just piped up wanting to know if the purported violence
    that the Act was drafted about
    is "From a man?"

  • WhatTheHeck

    Republican women are like the Vichy French. Stick a beret on their heads and all rational thinking gets mushy.

    • tessiee

      Actually, that also works if you stick a *barrette* on their heads; that's why they all wear those bows.

  • They wouldn't need shelters if they would just make a sandwich when they are told to.

  • But Lindsey Graham did.

    Vice Presidential material! You hear that, Rmoney?

  • Blueb4sunrise

    The other Az. Senate Fuckwit, Jon Kyl, voted 'Nay', and he's retiring . I figured he was setting up as DoD lobbyist, not a War on Women lobbyist.

    • chicken_thief

      Was his retirement announcement meant to be a factual statement?

    • In fairness, he'd need a defense department if there's a war on women.

  • chicken_thief

    Toto, we are in (Topeka) Kansas!!!

  • ThundercatHo

    Ok, this really, really pisses me off. I know we're not supposed to wish harm to our enemies and all that happy horseshit, but. . . Are we allowed to at least hope that these assholes get a new perspective on what it's like to be on the receiving end of a thorough ass kicking? These motherfuckers just seriously need to be contained to an all male penal colony.

    • I'm all for creating some form of Cockpunchin' Posse to carry out precisely this.

      You know, in a fantasy league kind of setting…

  • VAWA is a vote on VAJAYJAYs?

    • tessiee

      I assumed it was a vote pertaining to WAWA convenience stores, but yours is good, too.

    • littlebigdaddy

      I'm all in favor of em.

  • jodyleek

    When I position my cursor over a picture on this here Wonket, my pointer turns into a little hand. I slapped the shit out of Rubio with it.

    • Rosie_Scenario

      You can also make it look like he's picking his nose. Klassy!

  • elviouslyqueer

    The House bill is likely to be stripped of three provisions that have incensed some conservatives. The last would expand Violence Against Women Act protections to gay, bisexual or transgender victims of domestic abuse.

    Right. Because of course there is no such thing as LGBT domestic violence.

    • Doktor StrangeZoom

      Well, it's like anti-bullying legislation. We don't want The Gheys to have special rights, you know?

    • Redhead

      You're talking about the group of people who don't see LGBT people as PEOPLE (and who are just fine with tying dogs up in cages on tops of cars on the highway).

    • Wile E. Quixote

      The House bill is likely to be stripped of three provisions that have incensed some conservatives. The last would expand Violence Against Women Act protections to gay, bisexual or transgender victims of domestic abuse.

      Well that sucks, but does that mean that it's legal to beat the shit out of Ann Coulter?

    • horsedreamer_1

      At least, at the Crashpad, it's consensual. & sexy as hell.

  • So basically, thems that voted agin it have skeletons in their, um, closets?

    I mean, come ON! Look at that list again with that in mind!

  • qwerty42

    But … but … but … I thought the Republicans were, like, totally in favor of teh wimminz.. I mean, they went and formed a club and all for the penis-lacking folks and everything. A logo included! So this so-called "war on wimmin" is just some made up stuff.

  • I forget, are "women" a good or bad thing? I'd better check The Blaze. brb.

  • Baconzgood

    Smack my bitch up.

    • horsedreamer_1

      Change my pitch up.

  • Doktor StrangeZoom

    They should have asked some bruised female researchers whether there's any violence against women. They'd have found out it's all just a misunderstanding.

  • Fare la Volpe

    One of my two day jobs is working as a hotline coordinator at a domestic violence shelter. All day I field distress calls from women (and girls, and men, and boys) who've been beaten, raped, burned, harassed, bloodied, neglected, and left to die, and usually by their husband. Our job is to get them to safety and try, try our damnedest, to help them find even the minutest sense of self worth after the horrors they've endured. Most years we can barely provide for the 20 women and children that we can house, let alone the hundreds that we wish we could.

    The fact that these Republican animals would use these women as political bargaining chips makes me so furious. Fucking monsters, every last one of them.

    • And they say being a soldier is traumatic. You have my total respect.

      • PhilippePetain

        I was going to say, people like Fare are the ones we should be thanking for their service… Jesus, that would be rough…

    • Doktor StrangeZoom

      You are to be commended for doing that work. It matters, and you make a difference. I was helping a woman with her divorce paperwork last week; initially, she'd come in with her husband to do the child support calculation, and then later she came back by herself to ask how she could request sole custody–and while she didn't say anything openly, every bit of her affect screamed that she was scared of the bastard (which, frankly, is the impression I got when he was here).

      And in the meantime, Mens' Rights Assholes whine about pervasive "misandry."

    • fartknocker

      Your empathy and kindness has helped calm many persons who are facing something they never expected or wanted in a relationship. Thank you for helping these distressed individuals.

    • ThundercatHo

      About 24 years ago I was standing in a phone booth, holding my baby and talking to a very nice domestic violence hotline lady. They referred me to a counselor who was wonderful and after a year or so I had an escape plan, some money, my own credit cards, self-esteem and a fierce determination to never be a victim again. The work you do couldn't be more important and I applaud you for it.

      • Doktor StrangeZoom

        And congratulations to you for escaping!

        I'm giving some serious thought to going into more debt and spending two years getting an MSW…

        • ThundercatHo

          My counselor was an MSW and she was so great at her job. Many people do not understand that it is the psychological aspect of the cycle of abuse that renders victims helpless. The long-term, insidious breakdown of one's self-esteem and support network is the damage most needing repair after the victim has been made safe. Also, lack of self-worth probably leads most victims into abusive relationships to start with so good therapy is a must.

      • Fare la Volpe

        Honey, you are more courageous to me than you will ever know.

        *a million brazillion hugs*

        • ThundercatHo

          I was lucky because there were some wonderful people such as you to help me out when I needed it the most. Are there former abuse victims where you work? I'd often thought about volunteering for a hotline/shelter but was afraid that I wouldn't be able to emotionally distance myself enough to be of any use. My husband and I always donate money and have given 2 of our used cars to young women who were making a new life for themselves.

          • Fare la Volpe

            Oh yes. I'd estimate at least one quarter to one third of our volunteers have loved ones who were victims or were victims themselves once. Several of the ones that were present during my training said that volunteering was downright therapeutic to them. When you can lose yourself in service to others, and especially when those others are facing the same pain you yourself have overcome, it makes a phenomenal difference in both your lives.

            Any shelter nearby would love to have you as a volunteer, hon.

    • TxSpinyLizrd

      Thank you for doing what you do.

    • oldedinvn

      You are a better person than I ever will be.
      PS; How many of the assholes have you shot?

      • Fare la Volpe

        There's a reason I'm not brought to the court hearings.

        • ThundercatHo

          This is the reason I will never be a "bleeding heart" liberal since I have no problem with the concept of abusers being taken out and shot like a rabid dog.

    • tessiee

      Thank you for doing that job. You've probably saved at least one person's life. Also, thank you for mentioning that domestic violence can also be directed against men (which I think is even more stigmatized).

  • elviouslyqueer

    Also, way to go, Mississippi! That'll teach those uppity wimmenz to know their proper place, right alongside the niggers and fags.

    • Gainsbourg69

      Vitter voted yea. Nuff said.

  • ChernobylSoup

    Was there a clause for husbands whose wives insist on watching Smash?

  • O.T. Ohh Shoot

    • Nostrildamus

      Even if there's no criminal behaviour, it would seem he could bring a civil suit.

  • mavenmaven

    Ann Romney has spoken to women and they say this isn't an issue, in rich families this kind of thing never happens to women (and if it does, they make sure it is fatal and quickly disposed of, properly).

  • Y'know, next time this comes up for authorization, I'd love to see a Senator (I'm looking at you, Franken!) to offer an amendment to proactively pardon any woman who Stands Her Ground in a domestic dispute.

  • freakishlywrong

    None of these fuckers should ever get laid again, (by a woman). I know, Lindz won't care.

  • CapnFatback

    In fact every female senator, including the GOPpy kind, voted to reauthorize VAWA

    But I thought you said Lindsay Graham voted against it?


  • SayItWithWookies

    So what I gather from this is that Republicans are for violence against women. Okay, maybe not all Republicans are for violence against women, since the women voted against it — but of course they don't have any standing in their own party anyway, do they? Most of the Republican women are out of favor with their own party's rabid center, which had resigned itself to their voting in favor of a law that, contrary to their wishes, outlawed violence against women.

    And even though it's puzzling from a moral, social, political and just plain humanitarian perspective, I'd like some of these Republican men to stand up and articulate exactly why they're in favor of violence against women. Because if an entire party is in favor of violence against women (and by this I mean the Republicans), they really ought to explain why they take such pride in that stance.

    • Doktor StrangeZoom

      No, they're against violence against women, but they're against Big Government expanding to do something about it.

    • tessiee

      Hear, hear!
      At least part of the reason why these guys are such loathsome pricks is that nobody ever calls them on their shit.

  • jamesbaldwin10
  • fartknocker

    Pricks. Every damn one of them. Small, flaccid, ugly little fucking salted rat pricks.

  • Callyson

    “Divisive slogans and declaring of phony wars are intended to avoid those hard choices and to escape paying a political price for doing so.”

    Yeah–I hated the Iraq war and "mission accomplished" too.

    Wait, you were talking about something else?

  • The funny part: All the conservative husbands who think their wives actually vote Republican.

  • Redhead

    Well there wouldn't BE a war on women, or any need to beat them, if they just stayed in the home, barefoot in the kitchen by day and tied up and blindfolded yelling, "Green Balloons" around the roofies at night, like the good Christian men had their rentboys tell them to do.

  • owhatever

    There is no War on Women! But we may have to bomb the bitches to save them.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    To be fair, it's a slippery slope. Let the Democrats tell you that you can't beat your wife, and next thing you know, they won't let you bang her corpse .

    • Generation[redacted]

      The way she was wearing that open casket, she was just asking for it I tells ya!

  • Generation[redacted]

    This women's war on Republicans is an outrage and must stop.

  • OneYieldRegular

    "Next time try not having fallopes!"

    Too Late the Fallope.

  • Eve8Apples

    Republican males were concerned that the Violence Against Women Act would prohibit them from shoving probes up the ladies' cooters.

  • Eve8Apples

    Republican male philosophy — If the federal government stops men from smacking their uppity bitches around, then the federal government has declared war on men.

    • tessiee

      Haven't you read the wingnuts dictionary?
      "Freedom" = "our freedom to control everybody else".

  • If we can't beat up illegals and gays it means that Obamaz will take our guns!!

  • Wile E. Quixote

    Coming soon to a theatre near you. Lindsey Graham and Marco Rubio in The Poolboy Always Rings Twice.

    • horsedreamer_1

      Havana Cabana Boys without Hoods. See the uncut dirigente's edition.

  • Isn't it charming that a boy like Marco Rubio who is more brown than white thinks it is his god-given right to beat up a squaw. What an asshole.

  • "Fortunately, a frank exchange of views with that Maybelline-caked trollop I call a wife is still protected by the Constitution."

  • Nowisallthereis

    THis is a bit off topic, but Marco IS a cutie. The picture above is particularly sexy. I'd do him. And you know, them spanics usually are un-snipped too. A little extra. Maybe Rick Smegtorum would like summa that.

    • Wile E. Quixote

      Miss Lindsey Graham has let that Pennsylvania toilet queen now that Marco Rubio is spoken for, and that if Santorum goes near him she'll scratch his eyes out.

      • Nowisallthereis


  • tessiee

    “Divisive slogans and declaring of phony wars are intended to avoid those hard choices and to escape paying a political price for doing so. Like, say for example, if you make the hard choice to select a loathsome idiot for your running mate, because your handlers told you that the womenfolk would vote for any woman. And then, the political price you have to pay is when it backfires on you, because your running mate is a loathsome idiot, and instead of having people respect you even if they don't agree wtih you, you become a laughingstock forever after… [smacks forehead with heel of hand] Shut up John… Shut up, shut up!…"

  • tessiee

    "the Blunt Amendment, which would have allowed employers to pick and choose whether their whore employees got slut pills"

    I am opposed to this if for no other reason than it's called "the Blunt Amendment", but yet it doesn't have anything to do with weed.

    • George Spelvin

      And it should properly be called the "Blunt-Rubio Amendment", iirc.

  • Let me explain: Ladyparts are a series of tubes…

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Sometimes you just gotta slap a bitch.

  • Egregious644

    Good for GOP Senator David Vitter voting to reauthorize the law. His hooker must have convinced him.

  • At least Republicans voting against a law that would let you get punished for raping a Native American in their country was consistent given their stance on raping Iraqis in Iraq.

  • ttommyunger

    Notwithstanding the fact that Domestic Violence Nationwide has dropped by 50% since the Act was initially put in force.

  • horsedreamer_1

    So, it's a cold war. I blame menopause.

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