silkwood shower

Ann Coulter: Hollywood Libels Businessmen By Telling Their True Stories

Harassing the job creatorsAnn Coulter has a guest opinioner in The Hollywood Reporter, and she has some thoughts she would like to share on that mean old Hollywood and how it is always smearing priests and WASPs and Southerners and Christians while holding up as heroes public school teachers if you can even believe it. Public school teachers! Ick! Nast! She gives a rundown on many types of characters whom H’wood is just cold besmirchin’ all the time, with small lists of the movies in which they are shamed and smeared. We do not have much to say about this, because she does things like say “small town” people are libeled with Footloose, but then, you know. Mostly she is mad that “Law & Order” is populated exclusively with white criminals, even though she saw two true crime programs where the rapers were Hispanic. (Not to mention all Law & Order’s black lady judges — which, oddly, Coulter doesn’t! It was probably edited out.) But there is one group of people Ann Coulter is especially protective towards, and that is businessmen. Why does Hollywood make villains out of businessmen, just because it is telling true stories?

Businessmen (Erin Brockovich, A Civil Action, The Insider, Silkwood, Michael Clayton, every John Grisham adaptation, even The Muppets, where they reunite to save their old theater from a greedy oil tycoon! And Law & Order).

Well, we didn’t see The Muppets, and we fell asleep during Michael Clayton (sorry Cloons), and John Grisham is definitely a big fat lieberal (his Pelican Brief is actually stunning for how it foretells what would become the wackiest of the rightwing Supreme Court nomination arguments like 20 years before they happened). But those other ones? Yeah, Silkwood actually happened. So did A Civil Action, Erin Brockovitch and The Insider. And it’s a hard row to make the bosses at Kerr-McGee the good guys when they were busy poisoning and threatening Karen Silkwood (spoiler: Meryl Streep dies! And shows a tit!). And it’s tough to make Erin Brockovitch without pointing out that the businessmen knew they’d been leaking Hexavalent Whatever into the town’s water. (What about those small town people, Ann Coulter? Nothing? No? Imagine that.) And the tobacco company execs in The Insider may have gone home and kissed their wives and been nice to their children — they may have been very genial fellows! — but also they were the tobacco company executives in The Insider, and it was a true story.

Not to brag, but I’ve been to America. The natives do not need coaching in tolerance, certainly not from beautiful airheads who are paid like Enron executives to lecture us — the child-molesting, greedy racists — about learning to be decent human beings.

Well, we know some “natives” who may need a lesson in tolerance or two, and it sounds like Ann Coulter might be smearing those poor Enron executives! What, did they fuck Ann’s Grandma Millie up the ass? WHY DOES ANN COULTER HATE THE JOB CREATORS AT ENRON, HENGHHHH?

[THR]

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

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221 comments

  1. Chow Yun Flat

    Not to brag, but I’ve been to America. The natives do not need coaching in tolerance

    Yeah the natives were pretty cool until all those white people started showing up beginning in 1492.

    1. BerkeleyBear

      Yeah, it's the lardy white guys who need coaching in tolerance – not sure where they all came from, but they are everywhere.

  2. noodlesalad

    Fact: many more Americans have been robbed by white men in suits than brown kids in hoodies. Whether or not they know they've been robbed is a different story.

    1. chicken_thief

      I saw a factoid a few years ago comparing the amount of money lost to bank robbers vs embezzlement from bank employees and the time behind bars for each – in round numbers it was like $4k per robbery compared to $40k per embezzlement and 4 yrs for robbery vs nothing for embezzlement.

      1. tessiee

        Doesn't one of the characters in one of the Godfather movies say that one man with a briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns?

      2. Tundra Grifter

        There hasn't been a bank put out of business in modern times due to a robbery.

        Embezzlement will do in a bank – and so will bad loans.

  3. MasterDebater

    Ummm…Ann…Michael J Fox? The Secret of My Success? Single best movie ever. Like, I'm certain its metacritic rating is a billion times higher than Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps. So, logic FAIL.

    I'm sorry to say this but she used to make me all sorts of angry, then I read that one bit of fan fiction where some liberal dude picks her up at a farmer's market and pees on her, and ever since then her venom has zero effect on me.

    Mischief managed.

      1. MasterDebater

        Google "Ann Coulter farmer's market." Should do the trick. Seriously, after reading that, nothing she ever says or does can possibly phase me.

        You're welcome.

      2. actor212

        Sadly, the original blog seems to be down or at least blocked on my firewall, but…Here you go

        Try the blog title and the word "again". It may have been revived since

        The backstory is the anonymous blogger is a big Hollywood screenwriter who, out of sheer frustration with the fact that Coulter had *any* audience whatsoever, created a really hard-core porn fiction about her.

        Many have been accused of being this wondrous fellow, but none have come forward.

    1. ChernobylSoup

      Secret of My Success was not only the best movie in the history of celluloid, the soundtrack with the title song by Night Ranger was the epitome of musical brilliance and the Academy can go to hell for not awarding Oscars all around.

      1. Serolf_Divad

        The Academy of Motion Picture Arts decided in 1989 that it was unfair to award a "Best Picture" Oscar to any movie featuring a Night Ranger soundtrack because, I mean, come on, that's basically cheating.

  4. MarionNYNY

    Maybe they should make a movie about Coulter and her heroic struggle to defend America against the liberal hordes. They could probably get some former SNL star to portray her, either Victoria Jackson or Dennis Miller in a wig.

    1. Chichikovovich

      To judge from the photo in yesterday's posting, Janine Turner has become bottle-blonde, gaunt and harridan-like enough to play Coulter. And she evidently needs the work. Slap a codpiece on her and she'll be camera-ready.

      1. MarionNYNY

        This and the replies below got me to go look and see what Janine's been up to since Northern Exposure. Holy crap. While I get she's become a grifter for the lord, selling tchotchkes like Christian yoga videos and tee-shirts, I'm completely confused by her defense of single motherhood, which would seem to be antithetical. But I guess consistency is the hobgloblin of little minds or she's a raging hypocrite.

        1. Chichikovovich

          Standard Republican stuff – make an exception if you're affected yourself. George Will breaks ranks on government support for education of disabled children because he has a disabled child, etc. Janine Turner is 100% behind single motherhood because she's a single mother.—

      1. actor212

        If only there was some…insurance…that one could purchase cheaply to cover one's health care costs. Something that maybe the government would be in charge of so it could negotiate the best possible rates for consumers…

        1. anniegetyerfun

          Even with insurance, the co-pay for Restasis is insane. I know, because my doctor put me on it once. Not only did it make things worse, but it cost about $90/month. I wouldn't have minded if I wasn't already paying hundreds of dollars for everything ELSE that is wrong with me.

          1. anniegetyerfun

            Holy shit. Well, I guess it's only a matter of time before I develop MS, anyway. It's all the rage in the Pacific Northwest.

          2. Gunner Asch

            MS is the perfect disease for our modern drug companies: hideously expensive medicine with unprovable efficacy against an incurable disease. Plus no danger of losing patents – just add some pixiedust once in a while and it's a whole new drug!

          3. actor212

            Well, see, that's why I added this:

            Something that maybe the government would be in charge of so it could negotiate the best possible rates for consumers…

          4. anniegetyerfun

            Well, in a way, the government IS in charge. And they and the pharmaceutical companies have decided that these are some great rates.

  5. ChernobylSoup

    Tough argument to make when 80% of movies released in the last ten years have glorified pirates.

    1. actor212

      Except, you know, The Social Network, which actually was pretty fair and portrayed Facebook in a pretty decent light.

      Tore the "founder" a new one, but then it Zucks to be him

      1. Doktor StrangeZoom

        Best line I've seen about that movie, from Zadie Smith's nifty review essay (reprinted in Best American Essays 2011) :

        From the opening scene it’s clear that this is a movie about 2.0 people made by 1.0 people… It’s a talkie, for goodness’ sake, with as many words per minute as His Girl Friday. A boy, Mark, and his girl, Erica, sit at a little table in a Harvard bar, zinging each other, in that relentless Sorkin style made famous by The West Wing (though at no point does either party say “Walk with me”—for this we should be grateful).

        1. Generation[redacted]

          Oh yes, the opening scene made my girlfriend say, "That's not how computer nerds talk!"

        1. Biff

          How does a vampire sustain an erection with no blood flow, that's what I want to know. Also, cheney.

          1. Chichikovovich

            That's it! I knew there was something implausible about all those vampire stories, but I just couldn't put my finger on it. Thanks!—

    1. ChernobylSoup

      You'd still have to put up with Julia Roberts' "acting.". Would it still be worth it then? I ask you. Would it still be worth it?

    2. tessiee

      Please, Julia Roberts stuffs socks in her bra, smirks, and acts "sassy" — and walks away with the Oscar that should have gone to Ellyn Burstyn in "Requiem for a Dream".

      Then Julia makes her acceptance speech in a gown that makes it abundantly clear that, while she has a very pretty face, she's completely flat-chested. She didn't even get the Oscar for her tits — she got it for her falsies.

      My favoritest review of "Erin Brockovich": http://www.epinions.com/review/mvie_mu-1095396/mv

  6. el_donaldo

    Why won't Hollywood make a movie about a decent, tax-paying, happy, law-abiding, just-going-about-his-business businessman?

    Uh, maybe because that's BORING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's also why there are no movies about happy, well-adjusted couples. Or non-invading space aliens.

      1. Mumbletypeg

        minus the "Happy" bit

        This… cracked me up for some reason. I love the Hoffman/ Malkovich version. I see what you did, I think; it matters not — *applause*

        1. actor212

          *deep curtsey* I thank you.

          Miller was juice for having the supporting characters appear as factotums for the interior dialogue of the protagonist. I've always enjoyed working on his plays.

          I haven't seen the 51 film with Frederic March. My favorite between the other two versions is the Dennehy version. I just thought it was a better fit for Dennehy than Hoffman.

          1. Doktor StrangeZoom

            I'm totally hoping that PBS will get the rights to the Mike Nichols / Philip Seymour Hoffman revival currently playing.

        1. SayItWithWookies

          I do! Spielberg hasn't done a movie that didn't suck since Jaws, and that was only because he hadn't larded it up with his formulaic innocent wonder-filled children, schlock conflicts, treacly sentimentality and set to the sweeping strings of John Williams. ET was garbage on a stick, and I was exactly the age of his target demographic. Part of the entertaining lead-up to the Oscars was the part where they'd announce the noms for best director and Steven Spielberg never appeared on the list — sigh — those were the days.

          1. commiegirl

            DO NOT GET ME STARTED ON THAT ENDING. It replaced actual hope and faith — even if the kid didn't know they wouldn't be rewarded — for the most pathetic excuse for ersatz mother love in all of art. Fucking FEH.

    1. Ruhe

      I know a great movie that was about a happy, well-adjusted and very attractive couple who fix up an old house and then adopt a troubled teen. Betelgeuse! Yeah, of course they're dead for most of the film, but still.

  7. Mumbletypeg

    Make sure she's sitting down when you tell her that In Cold Blood was based on a true story developed by the same author as Breakfast at Tiffany's. The complexity of such gifts for plumbing facts or channeling fantasy, as Capote was equally adept at doing, might go a little over her head.

    1. anniegetyerfun

      I honestly don't believe that these words would have any effect on Ann whatsoever. She would just stare blankly for a few minutes, then call you a communist.

  8. Clancy_Pants

    She needs to rent Armageddon and watch some scrappy hard rock miners creatin' jobs and saving the world.

    With apologies to Mr. Tyler:

    Cause even when I dream of you
    The horror of it comes roaring through
    I'll still diss you, Mr. Colter
    And I don't wanna touch your thing

  9. elviouslyqueer

    Southerners are dumb hicks, presumptively Klanners. Residents of small towns are narrow-minded xenophobes, presumptively Klanners. Christians are hypocrites and anti-everything (even dancing!), presumptively Klanners.

    Um, Ann? Have you been to Mississippi? Like, at all?

    1. tessiee

      "Southerners are dumb hicks, presumptively Klanners. Residents of small towns are narrow-minded xenophobes, presumptively Klanners. Christians are hypocrites and anti-everything (even dancing!)"

      Didn't some Southern small town full of Christian hicks actually just ban dancing? It was on here a week or two ago; do you guys remember?
      It hardly makes sense to complain (yes, I know) when, unfortunately, the shit these people actually *do* is worse than anything a screenwriter could make up.

    1. doloras

      … and THERE it is, the obligatory Wonkette transmisogynistic comment in an Ann Coulter thread. It took longer this time.

  10. AddHomonym

    Teachers, Ann? Seriously? I counter with "Election" and "The Breakfast Club." How 'bout them teachers?!

  11. SorosBot

    Maybe Hollywood likes to use businessmen as villains because all businessmen are evil? Hell, any person with a conscience could never succeed as a business executive; being a greedy, selfish sociopath is a job requirement there.

    Also, The Muppets was great; you should see it.

    1. Man0nTheStreet

      You mean "Disney presents The Muppets" as a result of Disney pillaging the grave and legacy of Jim Henson? I'm sure I'll see it on a plane somewhere…

      1. SorosBot

        Nah, this was actually very good, and written by people who obviously love the old show and know what made it work; it's not like Disney's other work with the Muppets after Henson's death at all.

        1. BerkeleyBear

          I'll second that. A few years ago Muppet videos started popping up that were a lot edgier/Henson-esque (Bohemian Rhapsody, for one). The movie was totally in the vein of the earlier films and the Muppet Show, if a little more obvious in its use of winks and nods to the audience and its own legacy.

        2. tessiee

          I saw it with The Viking. Both of us were pleasantly surprised by how good it was. I especially liked the cameo of Sheldon Cooper as a human muppet.

    2. tessiee

      "Hell, any person with a conscience could never succeed as a business executive; being a greedy, selfish sociopath is a job requirement there."

      Because I am old — really, really old — I can remember back in the day when being an executive or a manager meant having experience and being knowledgeable about how your company/department works. I've worked for people like that in several different workplaces; I didn't necessarily *like* all of them, but I *respected* all of them.

      Somewhere along the line, they got pushed out by the sociopaths like the rest of us, and now a lot of businesses are being run (or I should say, bled) by people who neither know nor care how they (the businesses) are supposed to work, which is at least part of the reason why so many of them are floundering and failing.

  12. Mumbletypeg

    In the remake of Cape Fear, the psychotic killer, Max Cady, was recast as a Christian fundamentalist, sporting biblical tattoos and constantly reeling off scriptural verses. Other than the raping and murdering part, the person in real life he most resembles is Tim Tebow.

    Did I read this correctly? I knew Coulter was mean, and probably soul-less. But until this I'd taken for granted she had a shred of insight when it's best to avoid such bizarro false-equivalencies.

    ETA:… possibly she intended the false-equiv. to make a point –??– still, if Cape Fear overly misportrayed Christian brands of sadistic killers — let her see the original Cape's villianous actor Robert Mitchum as a homicidal con-man-in-priest's-clothing in Night of the Hunter. "It's a hard world for little …brains."

    1. 1stNewtontheMoon

      that's awesome. i just bought cape fear on blu-ray so i can warn my daughter about the dangers of tebow and the other fundies.

    2. SayItWithWookies

      Or it just may be possible that Christianity, being the predominant belief in America, simply serves as a useful vehicle for portraying the irony of an evil character who exudes charm, sensuality, intelligence, determination and who uses the words of the righteous for his own ends.

      Come to think of it, that's pretty much how Jesus describes Satan and false prophets — so if Ann really wants to get to the root cause of libelous portrayals of Christianity, she need look no further than Jesus.

      1. Mumbletypeg

        If I were to conclude right now that "Coulter's assertions are based on flawed parallels drawn.. plus she's disingenuous to carp on screen villains b/c she herself relies on preying upon the same gullible sheeple as Mitchum or feeds the same murderous vigilant sensibilities as DeNiro/ Cady.." that would still only be the tip of the iceberg as to what gerbil-vermin makes the wheels spin in her head. To have a master manipulator of many // savant of none, asked to comment on the relationship between culture and its portrayal on celluloid — it strikes me as the most pointless exercise I think Hollywood Reporter could come up with unless Coulter herself muscled her way into some editorial board asleep at the wheel.

    3. CapnFatback

      Should Coulter ever see Night of the Hunter, she'll surely mimic Mitchum's tattooed knuckles. Only she'll have "HATE" tattooed on the both the left and right hands.

    4. Wile E. Quixote

      So let me see if I have this straight. The directors of the remake of Cape Fear, which was released in 1991, wrote their movie in such a way as to portray Max Cady as Tim Tebow, who was four years old at the time and completely unknown everywhere outside of the Tebow family. Did they borrow the same time machine that Obama used to wreck the economy between 2001 and 2009 and plant the fake birth certificate and birth notice in the Hawaiian papers back in 1961?

    1. tessiee

      It's funny, the things that stick in your memory.

      I never saw "Steel Magnolias" until last year, and then only at the insistence of a friend.
      All I can remember is thinking that it was the WASPiest movie I'd ever seen. Specifically, the scene where the women are rushing around the lovely home trying to get it ready for a wedding, while the oversized, lazy, blond teenage sons are lying on the couch playing with a basketball, managing to be underfoot and creating chaos even though they're *lying down*.

      I thought, disgustedly, that if those boys had been in an Italian family instead of a Southern WASP one, their father would have hauled them off the couch by the back of their collars, dope-slapped them across the back of their big empty heads, and sent them into the kitchen with, "EY!! Go help your mudder!" and a swift kick in their lazy asses to send them on their way.

  13. actor212

    Why does Coulter hate "Atlas Shrugged, pts I and II" so?

    I mean, think about it: poor trod-upon businesswoman, trampled by her corporate overlords who are thinking only of getting a fat paycheck…

      1. actor212

        You mean they accepted government bailouts and subsidies while screwing the American people with inferior products and bad waste management?

  14. FakaktaSouth

    Yeah, screw Hollywood, it's been like this ever since Gone With the Wind – and all the way down to Roots. What's with making all the slaves black and the slave owners white racists who thought darker people were property? I mean come ON.

  15. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Hey, as some stupid asshole once said "corporations are people too, my friend". And as such, she is just defending their freedumz to poison, pillage and rape the rest of us. If you don't like that maybe you should move to the soviet union or something like that, also.

  16. DerrickWildcat

    Ever see, "Bless the Beasts and the Children" ?
    It's a sad and happy film. "My Life as a Dog" is like that too.
    She should watch those two movies and make a new list.

  17. ifthethunderdontgetya

    Not to brag, but I’ve been to America.

    And church, too! Not that anyone noticed.

    When contacted by Raw Story, however, Redeemer Presbyterian's Communications and Media Director Cregan Cooke could not confirm that Coulter had ever attended services at the church.

    "The only thing I have heard is hearsay that she is an attender" of Redeemer, Cregan told Raw Story. "Our database shows that she is not a member."

    ~

  18. Allmighty_Manos

    I for one am sick of the librul networks pushing Frank Capra's anti-free market crap every Christmas. Potter was a freakin job creator, and he pissed all over him.

    1. tessiee

      I love the Saturday Night LIve take-off where Dana Carvey (as George Bailey) snaps, and beats the hell out of Mr. Potter.

  19. Chick-Fil-Atheist™

    Entertainment media is made for consumption, too… yet it's strictly coincidence that their ideas tend to last longer than our consumerist affinity toward this hand-soap or that brand of tires. Which is why I'm surprised she wants to point a stick at the entertainment industry… I mean, I never watched a single episode of 24, but I hear tell it was well received by the wingnutter community.

    1. Man0nTheStreet

      I used to watch it also – it was like a live-action soap opera for guys, without the weepiness of soaps or the oiled-up narcissistic preening of pro-rassin'… to sane folks, it had the same bearing on reality as a Fantastic Four comic.

      1. Biff

        I tried to watch it a few times, but the hours I chose to watch were all filmed in darkness, terribly.

  20. 1stNewtontheMoon

    Meanwhile every douche in a suit has been channeling gordon gecko since 1987 and led us now to the awesome shared bi-partisan national economic model we enjoy. generally, i'm an oliver stone fan, but they'd have to convict all the conspirators (living and dead) who killed jfk (including poppy bush) as a direct result of his film for him to even begin to atone for the damage done by wall street.

    1. actor212

      It's hard to blame Stone for simply codifying a Wall Street credo that's existed for nearly 300 years.

      Yes, he gave them a dynamite catch phrase and yes, it's probably propelled the industry into frenzies at times, but the underlying message of the movie– make something, just not only money– is a lot more subtle and far-reaching, and may in fact be largely responsible for the current backlash against Big Business.

      1. Oblios_Cap

        Twain called Jay Gould out on that sort of thing back in the day and claimed that the damage Gould had inflicted upon America with his mindless adoration and pursuit of money would haunt the country for over 100 years.

        Pretty perceptive guy, that Twain.

          1. actor212

            And Will Rogers.

            I love that we live in an age when we have Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert, because I fear it will be generations before we're rid of the scourge of Teabaggery.

      2. 1stNewtontheMoon

        i agree with your main point but i think you overestimate most viewers' abilities to pick up on the underlying message. it's just been a grand misinterpretation. kinda the same way scientologists don't get that hubbard was probably making a statement against religion not espousing the tenets of a new one. (or why militant rightwingers like war movies whose message is peace.)

        and my point was that the attitude of the "bad guy" in wall street has become so prevalent and accepted (as part of its glamorization) that it is politically impossible for the democrats to do the right (at least FDR-ish) thing.

        1. actor212

          You may have a point, of course, else why would Stone make "Money Never Sleeps"?

          That sequel sort of comes off as a "No no! You missed my point!"

          Particularly since, where WS 1.0 was a scalpel, WS 2.0 is a sledgehammer at the end of a wrecking ball in making its point.

      3. tessiee

        "It's hard to blame Stone for simply codifying a Wall Street credo that's existed for nearly 300 years."

        a/k/a, "Blaming the thermometer for the temperature"

  21. Maman

    How is it that the money and privilege that successful business people get isn't thank you enough and we have to even thank them for shitty things they do? Who are they? Dick Cheney?

    1. tessiee

      I've said this specifically with reference to my workplace, but it applies here, too:
      "If they rape me, then they rape me; but I'll be goddamned if I moan".

  22. Man0nTheStreet

    Perhaps Coultergeist will be please to know that the eventual docu-drama of 2011's Gulf oil disaster with portray the Halliburton and BP executives as the Exemplars of Honesty, Responsibility, Stewardship & Courage that they are.

  23. qwerty42

    Will this horrible, horrible persecution never end? Will Ann cry herself to sleep tonight? Oh, the suffering.

  24. IncenseDebate

    I once tried to explain in a meeting of business people that capitalism is amoral. It's not an ethical system, but a way of organizing an economy. I am sure I was branded a commie at that point. And, you know, the economic system is not referred to in the Constitution. If anything, the Constitution suggests a controlled economy.

    1. actor212

      There's an economics professor, Richard Wolff. He's an avowed socialist, openly admits it, yet he portrays a capitalist business in the single most favorable light, based strictly on free market principles as espoused by Adam Smith. Indeed, this entity operates today in start up incubators like Silicon Valley and many have turned out to be wildly successful.

      And then lowers the boom: it was precisely the kind of business entity envisioned by Karl Marx.

    2. Chick-Fil-Atheist™

      Even religion is amoral. Sure, they talk about basic goodness and charity and goodwill… but you have to be a member. The requirement makes it zero sum.

    1. BerkeleyBear

      This is where the arguments all fall apart for me. The idea that the Muppets – a for profit film made by a major studio, shot with a budget that had been analyzed to death, with a cast, director and writer whose selection were all driven with money in mind, which had a bazillion corporate tie-ins – was somehow "anti-corporate" – is just hilarious. Because Hollywood is just drowning in studio execs who are secretly commies and want to destroy the system in which they get all the perks in the world for making decisions that most 5 year olds are better at.

      1. actor212

        Ann expects capitalists to have a soul.

        They do, it's just stuck in their gold-plated safes behind their fur-covered Learjets.

        She sounds practically liberal here.

  25. Oblios_Cap

    Ann's never been the same since Bill Maher bumped uglies with her and then dumped her. Sent her right over the edge, it did.

    1. tessiee

      Although, in fairness, it must be pointed out that finding "uglies" on either Ann or Bill Maher must have been like finding one particular grain of sand on a beach.

    2. Man0nTheStreet

      Did it start as hate-fucking, or end as hate-fucking?
      And who did they hate more, themselves or each other?

  26. BTWBFDIMHO

    The bitch is jealous they didn't hire her to play Barbara Stanwyck for the remake of The Big Valley.

    1. Mumbletypeg

      OMG you made me go look that up. I can't believe they're actually doing this. Modern film is in such stunted development they honestly can't come up with an original storyline anymore. I loved the show as a kid but the big-screen remake concept would strike me as absurd whether I was eight or 81.

    1. Doktor StrangeZoom

      I'm pretty sure that having him rap at all was anachronistic anyway. And having him do "9-1-1 is a Joke" seemed out of character as well.

      1. tessiee

        Also, "the trees is too damn high" was just plain bad taste, even if it *did* make fun of Mitt.

  27. anniegetyerfun

    You know who ELSE was a big, fat, Hollywood liberal who was paid like an Enron exec?

    (Dickens. The answer is Dickens)

  28. Doktor StrangeZoom

    Strangely enough, Hollywood really likes movies that MAKE MONEY. If people bought tickets to see a movie about a decent hard-working Christian CEO who liked to romp with puppies while listening to an audiobook of Treason: Liberal Treachery from the Cold War to the War on Terrorism on a Zune, then Hollywood would make that movie over and over again.

    Hollywood is full of capitalists, Ann.

  29. anniegetyerfun

    It's obvious that "popular" entertainment is well-received by the public because of Big Hollywood conspiracies, not because the American people can well-believe that a wealthy executive is only out for himself.

  30. SayItWithWookies

    Geeze, why are conservatives such humorless whiners?

    Oh, and if you haven't clicked the linky yet, do so, if only for the rendition of Ann Coulter as some sort of powerlifter in drag who's just had a stroke and so the right side of her face is sagging. That's a work of genuine hate right there.

  31. valthemus

    It was bad enough when executives treated us little people like crap while paying a living wage, now we're supposed to bend over and take it in the rear for peanuts. And Annie wonders why we don't make them all pope.

  32. Guppy

    Yes, these are truly new ideas that are unique to Hollywod and their vast conspiracy, and examples can't possibly be found in, say, the works of Shakespeare

  33. tessiee

    Holy smokes!
    I always knew right-wingers were dumb, but when the women start to age out of being hot, they completely lose their fucking minds, don't they?

    [For those of you who have a sense of deja vu, this is now a cut and paste comment like "That cunt" or "We should just have two or three comments..."]

  34. Generation[redacted]

    I want to see that version of Erin Brockovich where the business owners are the good guys.

  35. DocChaos

    I'm sure being lectured by Ann Coulter will change minds in Hollywood. Next up, Rick Santorum's column in Women's Wear Daily about how the gays are corrupting American culture.

  36. Rayn_And

    …because that thing about businessmen being job creators…oh, never mind…Isn't it time for you to back on Bill Maher's show and get your ass kicked in front of an audience of non-mouth breathers?

  37. ElPinche

    Hey conservatives, at least you have " Cannonball Run" even though it has some muslins or kenyans in it…Jamie Farr??

  38. Beowoof

    Man up Ann, show the liberals you have a pair, ram them hard if they try to preach any of the true stuff to you.

  39. smitallica

    Dear Ann,

    Hollywood is a business. They make movies as investments, hoping to make more money than the movie cost to produce by making something lots of people want to see.
    Movies about villainous corporate greedy assholes are popular, because just about everyone knows they're being fucked by big corporations and can therefore relate to the film. Because people can relate to things they know are absolutely true.
    Like the fact that you're a cunt.

  40. Tundra Grifter

    Last night we rented "The Muppets Movie" (cooincidence in real life!) and it was cute and a lot of fun.

    Perhaps because our kids are now sullen youth teenagers, we really enjoyed it, thinking about watching the Muppets when our children were growing up.

    I don't know what happened to Elmo, Cookie Monster or Oscar T. Grouch, but the rest of the cast was there and we recommend it.

  41. thefrontpage

    Ann Coulter is such a complete idiot, moron, psycho, liar, and asshole, it's amazing anyone still cares what on earth she says–and why on earth is The Hollywood Reporter, of all things, putting her moron comments in print?!! As for her comments on Hollywood and films–she is literally wrong, she literally doesn't know what the hell she is talking about, she literally knows zilch about film or film history, and everything she says is a lie and is wrong. She needs to find something else to do–and more publications need to just say no when it comes to publishing and airing her insanity and psychoness.

  42. Tundra Grifter

    Notice how Ann Falter mixes in fiction movies with those based on real life (as if fiction isn't based on reality, but that's another story).

    I can tell you it is highly likely that one of the children poisoned in Massachusetts ("A Civil Action") was the grandchild of one of the plant's owners and operators.

    Wonder why Falter didn't whine about "The Jungle." Perhaps she was too busy watching reruns of "Birth of a Nation."

  43. imissopus

    The natives do not need coaching in tolerance, certainly not from beautiful airheads who are paid like Enron executives to lecture us — the child-molesting, greedy racists — about learning to be decent human beings.

    So, they are perfectly happy being indecent assholes?

  44. rickmaci

    Dear Editrix, for your future reference. Most of us stop reading any story immediately if the first two words of the the headline read "Ann Coulter." Why waste perfectly good brain cells reading about a hate filed tranny look-a-like whose main object in life seems to be about pouring out into the blogosphere all the poison rotting around inside her. Peace out.

    p.s. Same with "Michelle Malkin."

    1. Generation[redacted]

      Some of us are little more open minded than that. If we see "Michelle Malkin" we quickly scan for "ping pong balls" — and then we stop reading.

  45. Wile E. Quixote

    You have to remember that Coulter has been bitter about Hollywood ever since she was thrown out of a theatre during a showing of The Diary of Anne Frank for screaming "She's in the attic. She's in the attic!"

  46. ttommyunger

    Bill Maher says her cunt is dry, pee-crusted and about the size of a horse-collar. Other than that she was a pretty good lay.

  47. GemlikeFlame

    Ann, I hate to break it to you, but Hollywood has exactly one loyalty and that's to the bottom line. If the American public decided it would pay for midget goat porn, that's what they'd be serving up (the fundamental distinctions between midget goat porn and vampire pseudosex are left as an exercise for the reader.) Since we know you aren't stupid, we have to look elsewhere for your motivation.

    Wouldn't have anything to do with your corporate sponsors, would it?

  48. grayforester

    It is disingenuous of Ann Coulter (her?) to pretend that criminal enterprise is anything but a subset of enterprise.

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