and here and here and here

Andrew Breitbart Tribute Video ‘Breitbart Is Here’ Is Quite Something

WHAT IS THIS CREEPY CRAP

Out of respect for the late Andrew Breitbart, it is not right to make fun of (the legacy of the ghost of) Breitbart as it pertains to this tribute video for Breitbart by one Chris Cassone, but the truth is, that is not even necessary, because the video itself is where the most Breitbart-ghost-legacy-related fun can be found…to make. “Breitbart Is Here” has so much to offer: disobedience of the basic laws of perspective, practiced by all self-respecting artists since the mid-15th century, an unhealthy but not at all unexpected penchant for rhyming, leading to curious and bad lyrics, an egregious amount of visual symbolism meant to convey puppets, talking heads, monkeys and such, and an overly literal portrayal of just where the spirit of Breitbart “is,” these days, as illustrated by Breitbart fliers, which in the video are affixed to visibly liberal real-world locations such as the New York Times building. And rather business-savvily, it looks like this video is the natural progression of the BREITBART IS HERE “brand,” which began with an “iconic” poster/t-shirt thing. So smart!

The lyrics must be transcribed, as best as we can, and so here (and here and here and here):

Television told us the situation
How he slipped on by just heading home
Is there ever a healing
For this feeling I’ve never known?
Our heartbeat drowns out all the chatter
Of the talking heads so insincere
I see all their lips move
But I cannot even hear

And Breitbart is here!

He’s been so strong
It makes me crazy

The dog and pony show’s extreme (?)
Let’s hold up a bright (BREIT?) light
And shine it on all these schemes

I’ve been looking high and low to find him
Like I’m on the open road alone
Today it is all done (?)
But here comes the morning sun

And Breitbart is here, is here
And even here
Everywhere I look now he seems to appear
He’s here and here and here and here and here
Breitbart is here

Where we gonna find that inspiration?
More and more they’re so hypnotized
I’m feeling much stronger
Just like I’m deputized (????????!!!!!)

And Breitbart is here, is here
(He’s here)
And even here
(He’s here)
Everywhere I look now he seems to appear
He’s here and here and here and here and here

Breitbart is here and here and here and here
It’s like he’s standing next to me
I don’t feel the fear
He’s here and here and here and here and here

Breitbart is here and here and here and here
Everywhere I look now
He just seems to appear
He’s here and here and here and here and here
And over here

ETC.

Is there any real explanation to accompany this great work? No, but I Own The World proprietor or contributor or whatever does leave a note for the readers of a blog to which he gave “the first look” of the video, and thanks that blog for posting some image of Breitbart that he sent them right after Breitbart died, because “it had gone viral by the time I woke up the next day.”

That is amazing, congrats. [I Own The World]

About the author

Liz is a writer. She has written for this site, evidently, and also The Awl, The San Francisco Chronicle, NPR, The Economist and others. She is the author of a short story collection, Cover Story.

View all articles by Liz Colville
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Comments

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  • FNMA

    Bu "here," I thought they meant "hell."

    • Man0nTheStreet

      - bowels of hell, to be exact…

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      God knows that's what it feels like, listening to that shit.

    • BerkeleyBear

      See, I was thinking like a blacklight inspection of a fapatorium – there's some of him here, and here, and here – only mainly being dried vomit from his binge drinking.

  • noodlesalad

    I can see how this song would be comforting…to someone who was drowning in a sewage treatment facility. It's just Breitbart! He's here, everywhere, in my ears, in my nose, filling up my lungs! It's just Breitbart!

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      "Here I am, up to my chin in muck and human filth. I can't get out. Oh god, what do I do? I called for help, but no one is here! I'm doomed…DOOMED!

      On the other hand, I could be that whiny little girl-pantied shit who's still mourning the death of Big Douchebag. That would really be pathetically sucky, so….I'm just gonna open my mouth and inhale hard!"

      Hey, you're right! It WOULD be comforting to someone drowning in a vat of shit!

      • noodlesalad

        Little known fact: "Up to my chin in muck and human filth" is the nickname for the Fox News greenroom.

    • GhostBuggy

      Jeez, choosing between drowning in a vat of sewage or having Breitbart fill me somehow (gross!). You drive a hard bargain, actor212.

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    These "lyrics" are bad enough to chasten & waken Zombie Breitbart himself for the express purpose of kicking the author(s) in their puerile patoots.

  • Terry

    Before YouTube, crazy people could only really demonstrate their malfunctions locally. For instance, they'd go stand outside the Post Office and rant as people walked by.

  • Tundra Grifter

    WADR, "Breitbart is here" doesn't belong on a t-shirt.

    It should be printed on underwear.

    On the back.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      Easy now..Riley is still shaken.

      • Tundra Grifter

        Shaken, but not stirred?

        • Dashboard Buddha

          Never shake a Riley.

      • bikerlaureate

        All hail. He suffered in close proximity so we didn't have to.

    • BerkeleyBear

      On the inside, in the skid zone. And it should be more like an instruction – place Breitbart here.

    • Callyson

      Breitbart and Santorum–together at last!

  • metamarcisf

    Quote of the week: "Tonight I consider myself the stupidest man on the face of the earth." – Mel Kiper, Jr.

    • Chichikovovich

      Mel Kiper, Jr. – the Lou Gehrig of the mentally challenged.

  • Dashboard Buddha

    Memorializing fan work is still better than having the real thing. We can say, OMG! This is awful. To which I would reply, "yeah, but he's still dead."

    Imagine the wonderful fan stuff that would be created for Ann, Rush, O'Reillly (fuck…he'll get a parade!), etc.

    • noodlesalad

      I'm pretty sure Rush's dirge and procession will put Kim Jong Il's to shame.

      • Dashboard Buddha

        True. And while they were able to use a caddy to tote around Kim's portrait, they'd need something bigger for Rush's picture.

        • noodlesalad

          Easy. Monster Truck (Gravedigger would be a natural) . Or a McDonald's semi tractor.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Well, I wish he'd hurry up and prove that.

      • sullivanst

        Can you imagine how many pall-bearers they'll need for Rush?

        The thought reminds me of an old Private Eye cover: "He was a great man. [280 lbs] at least."

    • Generation[redacted]

      BEEEEEHAVE YOURSELLLLLLLVES!

      • Dashboard Buddha

        What!? I'm not wishing anyone dead, nor am I suggesting that anyone carnally violate someone in the region of the occipital bone. Can't you just imagine the outpouring of fan memorials that would come out after the tragic passing of, I don't know…Glen Beck though?

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ Chow Yun Flat

    It makes me crazy

    Stupid, too.

  • ttommyunger

    I just took a massive dump and the "Breitbart" is still strong in my bathroom.

    • MrFizzy

      Just don't let it blend with the Cheney or you'll suffocate for sure. It's worse than carbon monoxide.

      • ttommyunger

        I don't hang around. Cut and run, my friend, cut and run!

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          Saw what you did there, I did.

    • Generation[redacted]

      Every bathroom needs a little sign on the door. On one side, "Breitbart is here." On the other, "All clear."

  • el_donaldo

    I think I stepped in some Breitbart on my morning walk. He really is everywhere.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ Chow Yun Flat

    Breitbart is here–written over the overflowing urinals of some of the most foul dives in the country.

  • MrFizzy

    They should have recalled Leni Riefenstahl from the grave to make this important film.

    • Wile E. Quixote

      Say what you will about National Socialism, at least it's an ethos.

      • Generation[redacted]

        Vee are Vonkette! Vee believe in nothing!

  • freakishlywrong

    Today is toxic asshole day on the Wonket, obvs.

    • el_donaldo

      Yes, let's hope there are no corresponding images for this one. I'm not ready for a daylong Goatse.

      • MrFizzy

        Actor212 et al, thanks v. much for that. All I can tell you is that the image did not fit particularly well with Keith Jarrett playing the solo piano. I have seen a lot of disgusting things in the past, and that's right up there with images of bodies chopped in half by trains, rotted corpses in bathtubs, etc. etc. – this probably even more disgusting b/c "it" isn't dead, and appears to have done this on purpose. Shee-itt.

        • jodyleek

          I didn't click on Goatse, but is it as bad as tub girl?

          • MrFizzy

            I can only imagine what tub girl is – assuming a rotting corpse missing part of its head, in a bathtub, covered with maggots? Haven't seen that, though. I would put goatse tied for one of the more disgusting things I have seen – and not disgusting in a "wow, that's a bad way to die" kind of way – more of a "I am horrified to learn that a live human would want to do that". I frankly could've done without it. I think I'll be avoiding red meat for a while, if that gives you any insight.

          • jodyleek

            Tub girl is the most disgusting thing I've seen on the internet – the dead body stuff, to me, isn't nearly as gross. A woman is in a bath tub positioned in such a way that she is able to shoot a stream of liquid feces from her own anus onto her face. But, she is wearing a mask on her face so I guess that makes it sanitary.

      • MrFizzy

        This might be the one forum where I should actually take the advice to not do something.

    • Baconzgood

      I'm not sure how to feel about that. I've already used my go to standard "I find this difficult to masterbate to" and it's still really early in day.

      • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

        Difficult but not impossible?

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Breitbart's Ghost:

    "I'll be all around, in the damp dark places Republicans never talk about

    Wherever a young punk is looking to make a name for himself by beating up old women, I'll be there. Wherever there's a cop beating up a kid who just wants a better paycheck, I'll be there. I'll be in the way guys yell when they think they're mad, but they're just scared of the Blahs. I'll be in the way kids laugh when they're horny and know some former Tampa Bay cheerleader has been reduced to selling her body for sex. And when people are giving the food they raised theyselves to Monsanta and living in boxes from refrigerators rich folk buy– I'll be there, too. Pointing and laughing."

    • Doktor StrangeZoom

      Well, maybe it's like Casy says. A fellow ain't got a soul of his own, just little piece of a big soul, the one big soul that belongs to everybody…

      'course, that'd be socialism, so I'm sure glad the cops curb-stomped that commie.

    • Guppy

      in the damp dark places Republicans never talk about

      Girly bits?

  • SteveMcCroskey

    Couldn't they just rip off Candle in the Wind like everyone else?

  • CapnFatback

    Wherever "here" is, it's bound to have a full-service bar.

  • mavenmaven

    Damned leftists with their red commie folk songs- not even one mention of God or Jesus.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Sayyyyyyyyyyyyyy, now that you mention it, you know who ELSE wore a BigFurHat?

      • Baconzgood

        John Grizzly Adams?

      • bikerlaureate

        Rasputin?

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    I think it would be good if they can get a person that can draw really good, like this guy http://www.jesus-withyoualways.com/
    and make some britebart always with you pictures.

    • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

      Obi-wan is Jeebus?

  • CapnFatback

    And–having listened to two minutes of the video–I believe the lyric is "Spin's so strong," as in political spin, or maybe a description of the dizzying effect of shotgunning eight vodka tonics before your speech at CPAC.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    Bitpart is here… in Riley's bedroom and he's touching himself. Ectoplasm everywhere.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Well, the song is kinda gay…

  • EatsBabyDingos

    I think of Johhny Cash's "Ring of Fire" and wonder if britefarts combust like realfarts.

  • jakegittes

    He was here in San Diego this morning. I saw him on my raisin toast. Then, I ate the toast.

    • LetUsBray

      Dude, I'm afraid you're gonna be having some nasty turbo-shits before the day is done…

      • jakegittes

        I bet his image will reappear in the turbo shits.

      • MrFizzy

        That dirty, scraggly beard is gonna hurt on the way out too. Big mistake chief.

  • smitallica

    All you people with the t-shirts DO realize that this asshole Breitbart was demonstrably wrong about just about everything, right?

  • Nothingisamiss

    Hahahahahahaha!

    *wipes tear*

  • Man0nTheStreet

    "Out of respect for the late Andrew Breitbart…"

    I reject and refute the very premise of that statement.

  • el_donaldo

    Wherever a stupid person suddenly feels self-important, we know Breitbart is there.

    Wherever a woman or person of color is filmed or recorded and later edited so that the person is made to look foolish or poorly behaved, we know Breitbart is there.

    Wherever people push propaganda instead of truth because they've found it's so much easier to get people to accept a lie than deal with what's really happening, we know Breitbart is there.

    Wherever talentless flunkies flog the myth of greatness of the person who gave them a soapbox on which to stand solely because he recognized that they were without shame or scruples, we know Breitbart is there.

    I could go on, but I think I got most of it out of my system.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Whenever someone completely untalented blames "Hollywood liberals" for keeping them down, we know Breitbart is there. (Twenty years ago, he'd have blamed the Jews, which of course, included Breitbart)

    • Doktor StrangeZoom

      Did Saul Alinsky make ya mad, Tom? Did he make ya mean mad?

    • BerkeleyBear

      Whenever confirmation bias and prejudice is substituted for actual evidence of anything, he'll be there.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Andrew who?

  • DaRooster

    Bletch.

  • Baconzgood

    WHAT THE FUCK?!!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT? Was that like a fucking joke that was meant to….4 MINUTES OF……..WHAT THE FUCK???!!!!!11!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

    At least I now know how to pronounce his name (when I say "Fuck you, Breitbart!"). A public service!

  • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

    Meh needs more hobbits.

  • Baconzgood

    I find this difficult to masterbate to.

    • Man0nTheStreet

      That's because you're not using a red-hot poker lubricated with pig feces, like Reichfart himself would have done.

    • http://www.wonkette.com TanzbodenKoenig

      James O' Keefe finds it easy

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    This song sounds more like it should be the soundtrack for a scene in a CSI episode when the CSIs take a UV blacklight to a motel bed.

    • Man0nTheStreet

      "There's Breitbart-infected Santorum all over that bed – call HAZMAT!"

  • CountryClubJihadi

    Is that his autopsy photo? It makes him look like the Shroud of Turdin.

  • ThundercatHo

    There's no way I'm watching that shit, it was bad enought to scan the lyrics.

    Where is CReature with the cephalopods of love? Has he even been around lately?

  • http://www.marionstein.net MarionNYNY

    Like my buhbie used to say, "every pot has a kettle."

  • OneYieldRegular

    Go ahead and mock your hearts out, all you elitist libruls, but this is by far the best thing that James O'Keefe has ever done.

  • el_donaldo

    if you're serious, dear God, don't google it.

  • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

    Dude trust me you don't want to know.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Out of respect for other Wonketteers, Imma just post this

    NSFW NSFW NSFW

    You've been warned.

    • Baconzgood

      Don't do it MrFizzy. If it's a goatse, just take step back from the link and walk away.

  • TheGyrus

    Breitbart is the wingnut Che Guevara. You can expect to see a stylized photo of his mug on the dorm-room walls of college Republicans 30 years from now.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Most. Pathetic. Scat Porn. Video. EVER.

    • Man0nTheStreet

      Yeah – Reichfart produced/collected much better examples of the genre…

  • not that Dewey

    I saw the worst minds of my generation destroyed by madness.

    • Doktor StrangeZoom

      I saw the worst bands of my generation
      applied by magic marker to dry wall.
      I should be allowed to shoot my mouth off.
      I should have a call in show.
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NgztPP_CWNQ

      • not that Dewey

        Oh Johns. Is there anything you can't do?

        • Doktor StrangeZoom

          Dude, they just said they're not allowed to meet the criminal government agent who oppresses them….

  • Doktor StrangeZoom

    On a more positive musical note, in Oslo, forty thousand people gathered to sing a folk song about multiculturalism as a peaceful "Fuck You" to mass-murderer Anders Breivik: http://www.npr.org/2012/04/26/151470779/norwegian

    • not that Dewey

      What was Breitbart's least favorite song? Lets all go sing that.

    • http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com gurukalehuru

      Classy folks, those Norwegians.

  • WiscDad

    Just another dead guy that can't come back and sue you for making money off his name…this was bound to happen.

  • SpiderCrab

    You know who else died for the sins of his followers, only to rise from the dead?

    • Doktor StrangeZoom

      Frankenstein's monster? ET the Extra-Terrestrial? Freddy Kreuger?

    • WiscDad

      Elvis?

    • Generation[redacted]

      Tupac?

    • bikerlaureate

      Tommy, the Pinball Wizard?

  • http://strangestoriesaboutsadpeople.blogspot.com/ Thedongsofwar

    So is he going to perform with holo Tupac at Cochella?

    • Generation[redacted]

      Hannity's Freedom Concert. All net proceeds (after expenses and a healthy profit margin for Hannity) go to wounded veterans.

  • crybabyboehner

    Whenever somebody cuts a fart in an elevator, or taps his foot in a bathroom stall … Brietbart will be there!

    Kinda like Tom Joad huh?

  • prommie

    Wherever a corporate raider is closing a factory and sending the jobs to china,
    wherever a Koch brother is busting a union,
    wherever there is a political hack libelling an honest politician,
    look in their eyes, Ma, you'll see me
    you'll see me

  • http://www.wonkette.com ChurchofRealism

    I have a Brietbart is Here tee shirt, but the arrow points to my asshole.

  • StealthMuslin

    Best! Autopsy photo! EVER!!!

  • Callyson

    Jesus! Fourteen seconds and I had to bail. They call that music?

    • Generation[redacted]

      That's at least 15 seconds longer than I lasted.

  • Wile E. Quixote

    Enough of this, when is the liberal media going to release the real autopsy report on Andrew Breitbart. The one that shows that his stomach contents consisted of cocaine, methamphetamine, pork rinds and the semen from at least two dozen men, two of whom may or may not have been Bill Donohue and Lindsey Graham?

  • XtfrM

    I've never heard or seen a right wing musician or actor who was worth a damn. They're just no damn good at the art stuff.

  • http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com gurukalehuru

    He has risen.