Andrew Breitbart Tribute Video ‘Breitbart Is Here’ Is Quite Something

  and here and here and here

WHAT IS THIS CREEPY CRAP

Out of respect for the late Andrew Breitbart, it is not right to make fun of (the legacy of the ghost of) Breitbart as it pertains to this tribute video for Breitbart by one Chris Cassone, but the truth is, that is not even necessary, because the video itself is where the most Breitbart-ghost-legacy-related fun can be found…to make. “Breitbart Is Here” has so much to offer: disobedience of the basic laws of perspective, practiced by all self-respecting artists since the mid-15th century, an unhealthy but not at all unexpected penchant for rhyming, leading to curious and bad lyrics, an egregious amount of visual symbolism meant to convey puppets, talking heads, monkeys and such, and an overly literal portrayal of just where the spirit of Breitbart “is,” these days, as illustrated by Breitbart fliers, which in the video are affixed to visibly liberal real-world locations such as the New York Times building. And rather business-savvily, it looks like this video is the natural progression of the BREITBART IS HERE “brand,” which began with an “iconic” poster/t-shirt thing. So smart!

The lyrics must be transcribed, as best as we can, and so here (and here and here and here):

Television told us the situation
How he slipped on by just heading home
Is there ever a healing
For this feeling I’ve never known?
Our heartbeat drowns out all the chatter
Of the talking heads so insincere
I see all their lips move
But I cannot even hear

And Breitbart is here!

He’s been so strong
It makes me crazy

The dog and pony show’s extreme (?)
Let’s hold up a bright (BREIT?) light
And shine it on all these schemes

I’ve been looking high and low to find him
Like I’m on the open road alone
Today it is all done (?)
But here comes the morning sun

And Breitbart is here, is here
And even here
Everywhere I look now he seems to appear
He’s here and here and here and here and here
Breitbart is here

Where we gonna find that inspiration?
More and more they’re so hypnotized
I’m feeling much stronger
Just like I’m deputized (????????!!!!!)

And Breitbart is here, is here
(He’s here)
And even here
(He’s here)
Everywhere I look now he seems to appear
He’s here and here and here and here and here

Breitbart is here and here and here and here
It’s like he’s standing next to me
I don’t feel the fear
He’s here and here and here and here and here

Breitbart is here and here and here and here
Everywhere I look now
He just seems to appear
He’s here and here and here and here and here
And over here

ETC.

Is there any real explanation to accompany this great work? No, but I Own The World proprietor or contributor or whatever does leave a note for the readers of a blog to which he gave “the first look” of the video, and thanks that blog for posting some image of Breitbart that he sent them right after Breitbart died, because “it had gone viral by the time I woke up the next day.”

That is amazing, congrats. [I Own The World]

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Liz is a writer. She has written for this site, evidently, and also The Awl, The San Francisco Chronicle, NPR, The Economist and others. She is the author of a short story collection, Cover Story.

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118 comments

    1. BerkeleyBear

      See, I was thinking like a blacklight inspection of a fapatorium – there's some of him here, and here, and here – only mainly being dried vomit from his binge drinking.

  1. noodlesalad

    I can see how this song would be comforting…to someone who was drowning in a sewage treatment facility. It's just Breitbart! He's here, everywhere, in my ears, in my nose, filling up my lungs! It's just Breitbart!

    1. actor212

      "Here I am, up to my chin in muck and human filth. I can't get out. Oh god, what do I do? I called for help, but no one is here! I'm doomed…DOOMED!

      On the other hand, I could be that whiny little girl-pantied shit who's still mourning the death of Big Douchebag. That would really be pathetically sucky, so….I'm just gonna open my mouth and inhale hard!"

      Hey, you're right! It WOULD be comforting to someone drowning in a vat of shit!

      1. noodlesalad

        Little known fact: "Up to my chin in muck and human filth" is the nickname for the Fox News greenroom.

    2. GhostBuggy

      Jeez, choosing between drowning in a vat of sewage or having Breitbart fill me somehow (gross!). You drive a hard bargain, actor212.

  2. Mumbletypeg

    These "lyrics" are bad enough to chasten & waken Zombie Breitbart himself for the express purpose of kicking the author(s) in their puerile patoots.

  3. Terry

    Before YouTube, crazy people could only really demonstrate their malfunctions locally. For instance, they'd go stand outside the Post Office and rant as people walked by.

  4. Tundra Grifter

    WADR, "Breitbart is here" doesn't belong on a t-shirt.

    It should be printed on underwear.

    On the back.

    1. BerkeleyBear

      On the inside, in the skid zone. And it should be more like an instruction – place Breitbart here.

  5. metamarcisf

    Quote of the week: "Tonight I consider myself the stupidest man on the face of the earth." – Mel Kiper, Jr.

  6. Dashboard Buddha

    Memorializing fan work is still better than having the real thing. We can say, OMG! This is awful. To which I would reply, "yeah, but he's still dead."

    Imagine the wonderful fan stuff that would be created for Ann, Rush, O'Reillly (fuck…he'll get a parade!), etc.

      1. Dashboard Buddha

        True. And while they were able to use a caddy to tote around Kim's portrait, they'd need something bigger for Rush's picture.

      1. Dashboard Buddha

        What!? I'm not wishing anyone dead, nor am I suggesting that anyone carnally violate someone in the region of the occipital bone. Can't you just imagine the outpouring of fan memorials that would come out after the tragic passing of, I don't know…Glen Beck though?

    1. MrFizzy

      Just don't let it blend with the Cheney or you'll suffocate for sure. It's worse than carbon monoxide.

    2. Generation[redacted]

      Every bathroom needs a little sign on the door. On one side, "Breitbart is here." On the other, "All clear."

    1. el_donaldo

      Yes, let's hope there are no corresponding images for this one. I'm not ready for a daylong Goatse.

      1. MrFizzy

        Actor212 et al, thanks v. much for that. All I can tell you is that the image did not fit particularly well with Keith Jarrett playing the solo piano. I have seen a lot of disgusting things in the past, and that's right up there with images of bodies chopped in half by trains, rotted corpses in bathtubs, etc. etc. – this probably even more disgusting b/c "it" isn't dead, and appears to have done this on purpose. Shee-itt.

          1. MrFizzy

            I can only imagine what tub girl is – assuming a rotting corpse missing part of its head, in a bathtub, covered with maggots? Haven't seen that, though. I would put goatse tied for one of the more disgusting things I have seen – and not disgusting in a "wow, that's a bad way to die" kind of way – more of a "I am horrified to learn that a live human would want to do that". I frankly could've done without it. I think I'll be avoiding red meat for a while, if that gives you any insight.

          2. jodyleek

            Tub girl is the most disgusting thing I've seen on the internet – the dead body stuff, to me, isn't nearly as gross. A woman is in a bath tub positioned in such a way that she is able to shoot a stream of liquid feces from her own anus onto her face. But, she is wearing a mask on her face so I guess that makes it sanitary.

    2. Baconzgood

      I'm not sure how to feel about that. I've already used my go to standard "I find this difficult to masterbate to" and it's still really early in day.

  7. actor212

    Breitbart's Ghost:

    "I'll be all around, in the damp dark places Republicans never talk about

    Wherever a young punk is looking to make a name for himself by beating up old women, I'll be there. Wherever there's a cop beating up a kid who just wants a better paycheck, I'll be there. I'll be in the way guys yell when they think they're mad, but they're just scared of the Blahs. I'll be in the way kids laugh when they're horny and know some former Tampa Bay cheerleader has been reduced to selling her body for sex. And when people are giving the food they raised theyselves to Monsanta and living in boxes from refrigerators rich folk buy– I'll be there, too. Pointing and laughing."

    1. Doktor StrangeZoom

      Well, maybe it's like Casy says. A fellow ain't got a soul of his own, just little piece of a big soul, the one big soul that belongs to everybody…

      'course, that'd be socialism, so I'm sure glad the cops curb-stomped that commie.

  8. mavenmaven

    Damned leftists with their red commie folk songs- not even one mention of God or Jesus.

  9. CapnFatback

    And–having listened to two minutes of the video–I believe the lyric is "Spin's so strong," as in political spin, or maybe a description of the dizzying effect of shotgunning eight vodka tonics before your speech at CPAC.

  10. EatsBabyDingos

    I think of Johhny Cash's "Ring of Fire" and wonder if britefarts combust like realfarts.

  11. jakegittes

    He was here in San Diego this morning. I saw him on my raisin toast. Then, I ate the toast.

  12. smitallica

    All you people with the t-shirts DO realize that this asshole Breitbart was demonstrably wrong about just about everything, right?

  13. Man0nTheStreet

    "Out of respect for the late Andrew Breitbart…"

    I reject and refute the very premise of that statement.

  14. el_donaldo

    Wherever a stupid person suddenly feels self-important, we know Breitbart is there.

    Wherever a woman or person of color is filmed or recorded and later edited so that the person is made to look foolish or poorly behaved, we know Breitbart is there.

    Wherever people push propaganda instead of truth because they've found it's so much easier to get people to accept a lie than deal with what's really happening, we know Breitbart is there.

    Wherever talentless flunkies flog the myth of greatness of the person who gave them a soapbox on which to stand solely because he recognized that they were without shame or scruples, we know Breitbart is there.

    I could go on, but I think I got most of it out of my system.

    1. actor212

      Whenever someone completely untalented blames "Hollywood liberals" for keeping them down, we know Breitbart is there. (Twenty years ago, he'd have blamed the Jews, which of course, included Breitbart)

    2. BerkeleyBear

      Whenever confirmation bias and prejudice is substituted for actual evidence of anything, he'll be there.

  15. Baconzgood

    WHAT THE FUCK?!!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT? Was that like a fucking joke that was meant to….4 MINUTES OF……..WHAT THE FUCK???!!!!!11!!

    1. Man0nTheStreet

      That's because you're not using a red-hot poker lubricated with pig feces, like Reichfart himself would have done.

  16. ThundercatHo

    There's no way I'm watching that shit, it was bad enought to scan the lyrics.

    Where is CReature with the cephalopods of love? Has he even been around lately?

  17. OneYieldRegular

    Go ahead and mock your hearts out, all you elitist libruls, but this is by far the best thing that James O'Keefe has ever done.

  18. TheGyrus

    Breitbart is the wingnut Che Guevara. You can expect to see a stylized photo of his mug on the dorm-room walls of college Republicans 30 years from now.

        1. Doktor StrangeZoom

          Dude, they just said they're not allowed to meet the criminal government agent who oppresses them….

  19. WiscDad

    Just another dead guy that can't come back and sue you for making money off his name…this was bound to happen.

    1. Generation[redacted]

      Hannity's Freedom Concert. All net proceeds (after expenses and a healthy profit margin for Hannity) go to wounded veterans.

  20. crybabyboehner

    Whenever somebody cuts a fart in an elevator, or taps his foot in a bathroom stall … Brietbart will be there!

    Kinda like Tom Joad huh?

  21. prommie

    Wherever a corporate raider is closing a factory and sending the jobs to china,
    wherever a Koch brother is busting a union,
    wherever there is a political hack libelling an honest politician,
    look in their eyes, Ma, you'll see me
    you'll see me

  22. Wile E. Quixote

    Enough of this, when is the liberal media going to release the real autopsy report on Andrew Breitbart. The one that shows that his stomach contents consisted of cocaine, methamphetamine, pork rinds and the semen from at least two dozen men, two of whom may or may not have been Bill Donohue and Lindsey Graham?

  23. XtfrM

    I've never heard or seen a right wing musician or actor who was worth a damn. They're just no damn good at the art stuff.

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