AND HERE AND HERE AND HERE  9:25 am April 27, 2012

Andrew Breitbart Tribute Video ‘Breitbart Is Here’ Is Quite Something

by Liz Colville

WHAT IS THIS CREEPY CRAP

Out of respect for the late Andrew Breitbart, it is not right to make fun of (the legacy of the ghost of) Breitbart as it pertains to this tribute video for Breitbart by one Chris Cassone, but the truth is, that is not even necessary, because the video itself is where the most Breitbart-ghost-legacy-related fun can be found…to make. “Breitbart Is Here” has so much to offer: disobedience of the basic laws of perspective, practiced by all self-respecting artists since the mid-15th century, an unhealthy but not at all unexpected penchant for rhyming, leading to curious and bad lyrics, an egregious amount of visual symbolism meant to convey puppets, talking heads, monkeys and such, and an overly literal portrayal of just where the spirit of Breitbart “is,” these days, as illustrated by Breitbart fliers, which in the video are affixed to visibly liberal real-world locations such as the New York Times building. And rather business-savvily, it looks like this video is the natural progression of the BREITBART IS HERE “brand,” which began with an “iconic” poster/t-shirt thing. So smart!

The lyrics must be transcribed, as best as we can, and so here (and here and here and here):

Television told us the situation
How he slipped on by just heading home
Is there ever a healing
For this feeling I’ve never known?
Our heartbeat drowns out all the chatter
Of the talking heads so insincere
I see all their lips move
But I cannot even hear

And Breitbart is here!

He’s been so strong
It makes me crazy

The dog and pony show’s extreme (?)
Let’s hold up a bright (BREIT?) light
And shine it on all these schemes

I’ve been looking high and low to find him
Like I’m on the open road alone
Today it is all done (?)
But here comes the morning sun

And Breitbart is here, is here
And even here
Everywhere I look now he seems to appear
He’s here and here and here and here and here
Breitbart is here

Where we gonna find that inspiration?
More and more they’re so hypnotized
I’m feeling much stronger
Just like I’m deputized (????????!!!!!)

And Breitbart is here, is here
(He’s here)
And even here
(He’s here)
Everywhere I look now he seems to appear
He’s here and here and here and here and here

Breitbart is here and here and here and here
It’s like he’s standing next to me
I don’t feel the fear
He’s here and here and here and here and here

Breitbart is here and here and here and here
Everywhere I look now
He just seems to appear
He’s here and here and here and here and here
And over here

ETC.

Is there any real explanation to accompany this great work? No, but I Own The World proprietor or contributor or whatever does leave a note for the readers of a blog to which he gave “the first look” of the video, and thanks that blog for posting some image of Breitbart that he sent them right after Breitbart died, because “it had gone viral by the time I woke up the next day.”

That is amazing, congrats. [I Own The World]

 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 118 comments }

FNMA April 27, 2012 at 9:29 am

Bu "here," I thought they meant "hell."

Man0nTheStreet April 27, 2012 at 9:51 am

- bowels of hell, to be exact…

actor212 April 27, 2012 at 10:09 am

God knows that's what it feels like, listening to that shit.

BerkeleyBear April 27, 2012 at 10:55 am

See, I was thinking like a blacklight inspection of a fapatorium – there's some of him here, and here, and here – only mainly being dried vomit from his binge drinking.

noodlesalad April 27, 2012 at 9:30 am

I can see how this song would be comforting…to someone who was drowning in a sewage treatment facility. It's just Breitbart! He's here, everywhere, in my ears, in my nose, filling up my lungs! It's just Breitbart!

actor212 April 27, 2012 at 10:07 am

"Here I am, up to my chin in muck and human filth. I can't get out. Oh god, what do I do? I called for help, but no one is here! I'm doomed…DOOMED!

On the other hand, I could be that whiny little girl-pantied shit who's still mourning the death of Big Douchebag. That would really be pathetically sucky, so….I'm just gonna open my mouth and inhale hard!"

Hey, you're right! It WOULD be comforting to someone drowning in a vat of shit!

noodlesalad April 27, 2012 at 10:19 am

Little known fact: "Up to my chin in muck and human filth" is the nickname for the Fox News greenroom.

GhostBuggy April 27, 2012 at 10:42 am

Jeez, choosing between drowning in a vat of sewage or having Breitbart fill me somehow (gross!). You drive a hard bargain, actor212.

Mumbletypeg April 27, 2012 at 9:31 am

These "lyrics" are bad enough to chasten & waken Zombie Breitbart himself for the express purpose of kicking the author(s) in their puerile patoots.

Terry April 27, 2012 at 9:31 am

Before YouTube, crazy people could only really demonstrate their malfunctions locally. For instance, they'd go stand outside the Post Office and rant as people walked by.

Tundra Grifter April 27, 2012 at 9:32 am

WADR, "Breitbart is here" doesn't belong on a t-shirt.

It should be printed on underwear.

On the back.

Dashboard Buddha April 27, 2012 at 9:36 am

Easy now..Riley is still shaken.

Tundra Grifter April 27, 2012 at 11:12 am

Shaken, but not stirred?

Dashboard Buddha April 27, 2012 at 12:10 pm

Never shake a Riley.

bikerlaureate April 27, 2012 at 3:55 pm

All hail. He suffered in close proximity so we didn't have to.

BerkeleyBear April 27, 2012 at 10:56 am

On the inside, in the skid zone. And it should be more like an instruction – place Breitbart here.

Callyson April 27, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Breitbart and Santorum–together at last!

metamarcisf April 27, 2012 at 9:33 am

Quote of the week: "Tonight I consider myself the stupidest man on the face of the earth." – Mel Kiper, Jr.

Chichikovovich April 27, 2012 at 10:24 am

Mel Kiper, Jr. – the Lou Gehrig of the mentally challenged.

Dashboard Buddha April 27, 2012 at 9:33 am

Memorializing fan work is still better than having the real thing. We can say, OMG! This is awful. To which I would reply, "yeah, but he's still dead."

Imagine the wonderful fan stuff that would be created for Ann, Rush, O'Reillly (fuck…he'll get a parade!), etc.

noodlesalad April 27, 2012 at 9:36 am

I'm pretty sure Rush's dirge and procession will put Kim Jong Il's to shame.

Dashboard Buddha April 27, 2012 at 9:44 am

True. And while they were able to use a caddy to tote around Kim's portrait, they'd need something bigger for Rush's picture.

noodlesalad April 27, 2012 at 9:50 am

Easy. Monster Truck (Gravedigger would be a natural) . Or a McDonald's semi tractor.

actor212 April 27, 2012 at 9:49 am

Well, I wish he'd hurry up and prove that.

sullivanst April 27, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Can you imagine how many pall-bearers they'll need for Rush?

The thought reminds me of an old Private Eye cover: "He was a great man. [280 lbs] at least."

Generation[redacted] April 27, 2012 at 12:17 pm

BEEEEEHAVE YOURSELLLLLLLVES!

Dashboard Buddha April 27, 2012 at 12:59 pm

What!? I'm not wishing anyone dead, nor am I suggesting that anyone carnally violate someone in the region of the occipital bone. Can't you just imagine the outpouring of fan memorials that would come out after the tragic passing of, I don't know…Glen Beck though?

Chow Yun Flat April 27, 2012 at 9:34 am

It makes me crazy

Stupid, too.

ttommyunger April 27, 2012 at 9:35 am

I just took a massive dump and the "Breitbart" is still strong in my bathroom.

MrFizzy April 27, 2012 at 9:37 am

Just don't let it blend with the Cheney or you'll suffocate for sure. It's worse than carbon monoxide.

ttommyunger April 27, 2012 at 9:41 am

I don't hang around. Cut and run, my friend, cut and run!

actor212 April 27, 2012 at 10:08 am

Saw what you did there, I did.

Generation[redacted] April 27, 2012 at 12:18 pm

Every bathroom needs a little sign on the door. On one side, "Breitbart is here." On the other, "All clear."

el_donaldo April 27, 2012 at 9:35 am

I think I stepped in some Breitbart on my morning walk. He really is everywhere.

Chow Yun Flat April 27, 2012 at 9:36 am

Breitbart is here–written over the overflowing urinals of some of the most foul dives in the country.

MrFizzy April 27, 2012 at 9:36 am

They should have recalled Leni Riefenstahl from the grave to make this important film.

Wile E. Quixote April 27, 2012 at 11:38 am

Say what you will about National Socialism, at least it's an ethos.

Generation[redacted] April 27, 2012 at 12:19 pm

Vee are Vonkette! Vee believe in nothing!

freakishlywrong April 27, 2012 at 9:36 am

Today is toxic asshole day on the Wonket, obvs.

el_donaldo April 27, 2012 at 9:40 am

Yes, let's hope there are no corresponding images for this one. I'm not ready for a daylong Goatse.

MrFizzy April 27, 2012 at 10:25 am

Actor212 et al, thanks v. much for that. All I can tell you is that the image did not fit particularly well with Keith Jarrett playing the solo piano. I have seen a lot of disgusting things in the past, and that's right up there with images of bodies chopped in half by trains, rotted corpses in bathtubs, etc. etc. – this probably even more disgusting b/c "it" isn't dead, and appears to have done this on purpose. Shee-itt.

jodyleek April 27, 2012 at 10:38 am

I didn't click on Goatse, but is it as bad as tub girl?

MrFizzy April 27, 2012 at 10:57 am

I can only imagine what tub girl is – assuming a rotting corpse missing part of its head, in a bathtub, covered with maggots? Haven't seen that, though. I would put goatse tied for one of the more disgusting things I have seen – and not disgusting in a "wow, that's a bad way to die" kind of way – more of a "I am horrified to learn that a live human would want to do that". I frankly could've done without it. I think I'll be avoiding red meat for a while, if that gives you any insight.

MrFizzy April 27, 2012 at 10:27 am

This might be the one forum where I should actually take the advice to not do something.

Baconzgood April 27, 2012 at 10:12 am

I'm not sure how to feel about that. I've already used my go to standard "I find this difficult to masterbate to" and it's still really early in day.

trampndirtdown April 27, 2012 at 10:18 am

Difficult but not impossible?

actor212 April 27, 2012 at 9:38 am

Breitbart's Ghost:

"I'll be all around, in the damp dark places Republicans never talk about

Wherever a young punk is looking to make a name for himself by beating up old women, I'll be there. Wherever there's a cop beating up a kid who just wants a better paycheck, I'll be there. I'll be in the way guys yell when they think they're mad, but they're just scared of the Blahs. I'll be in the way kids laugh when they're horny and know some former Tampa Bay cheerleader has been reduced to selling her body for sex. And when people are giving the food they raised theyselves to Monsanta and living in boxes from refrigerators rich folk buy– I'll be there, too. Pointing and laughing."

Doktor StrangeZoom April 27, 2012 at 10:46 am

Well, maybe it's like Casy says. A fellow ain't got a soul of his own, just little piece of a big soul, the one big soul that belongs to everybody…

'course, that'd be socialism, so I'm sure glad the cops curb-stomped that commie.

Guppy April 27, 2012 at 11:00 am

in the damp dark places Republicans never talk about

Girly bits?

SteveMcCroskey April 27, 2012 at 9:39 am

Couldn't they just rip off Candle in the Wind like everyone else?

CapnFatback April 27, 2012 at 9:39 am

Wherever "here" is, it's bound to have a full-service bar.

mavenmaven April 27, 2012 at 9:41 am

Damned leftists with their red commie folk songs- not even one mention of God or Jesus.

actor212 April 27, 2012 at 9:54 am

Sayyyyyyyyyyyyyy, now that you mention it, you know who ELSE wore a BigFurHat?

Baconzgood April 27, 2012 at 10:14 am

John Grizzly Adams?

bikerlaureate April 27, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Rasputin?

DerrickWildcat April 27, 2012 at 9:42 am

I think it would be good if they can get a person that can draw really good, like this guy http://www.jesus-withyoualways.com/
and make some britebart always with you pictures.

ManchuCandidate April 27, 2012 at 9:56 am

Obi-wan is Jeebus?

CapnFatback April 27, 2012 at 9:42 am

And–having listened to two minutes of the video–I believe the lyric is "Spin's so strong," as in political spin, or maybe a description of the dizzying effect of shotgunning eight vodka tonics before your speech at CPAC.

ManchuCandidate April 27, 2012 at 9:43 am

Bitpart is here… in Riley's bedroom and he's touching himself. Ectoplasm everywhere.

Oblios_Cap April 27, 2012 at 10:57 am

Well, the song is kinda gay…

EatsBabyDingos April 27, 2012 at 9:45 am

I think of Johhny Cash's "Ring of Fire" and wonder if britefarts combust like realfarts.

jakegittes April 27, 2012 at 9:46 am

He was here in San Diego this morning. I saw him on my raisin toast. Then, I ate the toast.

LetUsBray April 27, 2012 at 10:02 am

Dude, I'm afraid you're gonna be having some nasty turbo-shits before the day is done…

jakegittes April 27, 2012 at 10:04 am

I bet his image will reappear in the turbo shits.

MrFizzy April 27, 2012 at 10:07 am

That dirty, scraggly beard is gonna hurt on the way out too. Big mistake chief.

smitallica April 27, 2012 at 9:47 am

All you people with the t-shirts DO realize that this asshole Breitbart was demonstrably wrong about just about everything, right?

Nothingisamiss April 27, 2012 at 9:50 am

Hahahahahahaha!

*wipes tear*

Man0nTheStreet April 27, 2012 at 9:55 am

"Out of respect for the late Andrew Breitbart…"

I reject and refute the very premise of that statement.

el_donaldo April 27, 2012 at 9:57 am

Wherever a stupid person suddenly feels self-important, we know Breitbart is there.

Wherever a woman or person of color is filmed or recorded and later edited so that the person is made to look foolish or poorly behaved, we know Breitbart is there.

Wherever people push propaganda instead of truth because they've found it's so much easier to get people to accept a lie than deal with what's really happening, we know Breitbart is there.

Wherever talentless flunkies flog the myth of greatness of the person who gave them a soapbox on which to stand solely because he recognized that they were without shame or scruples, we know Breitbart is there.

I could go on, but I think I got most of it out of my system.

actor212 April 27, 2012 at 10:04 am

Whenever someone completely untalented blames "Hollywood liberals" for keeping them down, we know Breitbart is there. (Twenty years ago, he'd have blamed the Jews, which of course, included Breitbart)

Doktor StrangeZoom April 27, 2012 at 10:47 am

Did Saul Alinsky make ya mad, Tom? Did he make ya mean mad?

BerkeleyBear April 27, 2012 at 11:00 am

Whenever confirmation bias and prejudice is substituted for actual evidence of anything, he'll be there.

elviouslyqueer April 27, 2012 at 9:58 am

Andrew who?

DaRooster April 27, 2012 at 9:58 am

Bletch.

Baconzgood April 27, 2012 at 10:02 am

WHAT THE FUCK?!!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT? Was that like a fucking joke that was meant to….4 MINUTES OF……..WHAT THE FUCK???!!!!!11!!

deanbooth April 27, 2012 at 10:04 am

At least I now know how to pronounce his name (when I say "Fuck you, Breitbart!"). A public service!

trampndirtdown April 27, 2012 at 10:04 am

Meh needs more hobbits.

Baconzgood April 27, 2012 at 10:05 am

I find this difficult to masterbate to.

Man0nTheStreet April 27, 2012 at 10:33 am

That's because you're not using a red-hot poker lubricated with pig feces, like Reichfart himself would have done.

TanzbodenKoenig April 27, 2012 at 10:37 am

James O' Keefe finds it easy

ManchuCandidate April 27, 2012 at 10:05 am

This song sounds more like it should be the soundtrack for a scene in a CSI episode when the CSIs take a UV blacklight to a motel bed.

Man0nTheStreet April 27, 2012 at 10:35 am

"There's Breitbart-infected Santorum all over that bed – call HAZMAT!"

CountryClubJihadi April 27, 2012 at 10:06 am

Is that his autopsy photo? It makes him look like the Shroud of Turdin.

ThundercatHo April 27, 2012 at 10:07 am

There's no way I'm watching that shit, it was bad enought to scan the lyrics.

Where is CReature with the cephalopods of love? Has he even been around lately?

MarionNYNY April 27, 2012 at 10:09 am

Like my buhbie used to say, "every pot has a kettle."

OneYieldRegular April 27, 2012 at 10:10 am

Go ahead and mock your hearts out, all you elitist libruls, but this is by far the best thing that James O'Keefe has ever done.

el_donaldo April 27, 2012 at 10:11 am

if you're serious, dear God, don't google it.

trampndirtdown April 27, 2012 at 10:11 am

Dude trust me you don't want to know.

actor212 April 27, 2012 at 10:11 am

Out of respect for other Wonketteers, Imma just post this

NSFW NSFW NSFW

You've been warned.

Baconzgood April 27, 2012 at 10:23 am

Don't do it MrFizzy. If it's a goatse, just take step back from the link and walk away.

TheGyrus April 27, 2012 at 10:23 am

Breitbart is the wingnut Che Guevara. You can expect to see a stylized photo of his mug on the dorm-room walls of college Republicans 30 years from now.

elviouslyqueer April 27, 2012 at 10:30 am

Most. Pathetic. Scat Porn. Video. EVER.

Man0nTheStreet April 27, 2012 at 10:37 am

Yeah – Reichfart produced/collected much better examples of the genre…

not that Dewey April 27, 2012 at 10:31 am

I saw the worst minds of my generation destroyed by madness.

Doktor StrangeZoom April 27, 2012 at 10:51 am

I saw the worst bands of my generation
applied by magic marker to dry wall.
I should be allowed to shoot my mouth off.
I should have a call in show.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NgztPP_CWNQ

not that Dewey April 27, 2012 at 11:00 am

Oh Johns. Is there anything you can't do?

Doktor StrangeZoom April 27, 2012 at 11:22 am

Dude, they just said they're not allowed to meet the criminal government agent who oppresses them….

Doktor StrangeZoom April 27, 2012 at 10:33 am

On a more positive musical note, in Oslo, forty thousand people gathered to sing a folk song about multiculturalism as a peaceful "Fuck You" to mass-murderer Anders Breivik: http://www.npr.org/2012/04/26/151470779/norwegian

not that Dewey April 27, 2012 at 11:00 am

What was Breitbart's least favorite song? Lets all go sing that.

gurukalehuru April 27, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Classy folks, those Norwegians.

WiscDad April 27, 2012 at 10:39 am

Just another dead guy that can't come back and sue you for making money off his name…this was bound to happen.

SpiderCrab April 27, 2012 at 10:44 am

You know who else died for the sins of his followers, only to rise from the dead?

Doktor StrangeZoom April 27, 2012 at 10:49 am

Frankenstein's monster? ET the Extra-Terrestrial? Freddy Kreuger?

WiscDad April 27, 2012 at 11:34 am

Elvis?

Generation[redacted] April 27, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Tupac?

bikerlaureate April 27, 2012 at 3:59 pm

Tommy, the Pinball Wizard?

Thedongsofwar April 27, 2012 at 10:49 am

So is he going to perform with holo Tupac at Cochella?

Generation[redacted] April 27, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Hannity's Freedom Concert. All net proceeds (after expenses and a healthy profit margin for Hannity) go to wounded veterans.

crybabyboehner April 27, 2012 at 11:12 am

Whenever somebody cuts a fart in an elevator, or taps his foot in a bathroom stall … Brietbart will be there!

Kinda like Tom Joad huh?

prommie April 27, 2012 at 11:37 am

Wherever a corporate raider is closing a factory and sending the jobs to china,
wherever a Koch brother is busting a union,
wherever there is a political hack libelling an honest politician,
look in their eyes, Ma, you'll see me
you'll see me

ChurchofRealism April 27, 2012 at 11:51 am

I have a Brietbart is Here tee shirt, but the arrow points to my asshole.

StealthMuslin April 27, 2012 at 11:54 am

Best! Autopsy photo! EVER!!!

Callyson April 27, 2012 at 12:31 pm

Jesus! Fourteen seconds and I had to bail. They call that music?

Generation[redacted] April 27, 2012 at 1:37 pm

That's at least 15 seconds longer than I lasted.

Wile E. Quixote April 27, 2012 at 1:14 pm

Enough of this, when is the liberal media going to release the real autopsy report on Andrew Breitbart. The one that shows that his stomach contents consisted of cocaine, methamphetamine, pork rinds and the semen from at least two dozen men, two of whom may or may not have been Bill Donohue and Lindsey Graham?

XtfrM April 27, 2012 at 1:39 pm

I've never heard or seen a right wing musician or actor who was worth a damn. They're just no damn good at the art stuff.

gurukalehuru April 27, 2012 at 1:41 pm

He has risen.

jodyleek April 27, 2012 at 11:05 am

Tub girl is the most disgusting thing I've seen on the internet – the dead body stuff, to me, isn't nearly as gross. A woman is in a bath tub positioned in such a way that she is able to shoot a stream of liquid feces from her own anus onto her face. But, she is wearing a mask on her face so I guess that makes it sanitary.

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