To a man?”Sandra Fluke Announces Engagement”
— Monica Crowley (@MonicaCrowley) April 26, 2012
Did you hear that free sex-pill devourer Sandra Fluke is getting engaged? Whatever. But here’s Fox News/Washington Times mistake Monica Crowley making history’s funniest joke, ever. “To a man?” Ha ha ha ha! OH, YOU. (“To a man?”, she tweets.)
No, nevermind — she was apparently asking a Straightforward Question. Duh? Don’t we feel silly!
@humanadverb “Insinuating” nothing. Straightforward question. No answer yet.
— Monica Crowley (@MonicaCrowley) April 26, 2012
To answer the question, then: No, Sandra Fluke is not a lesbian. For reference, trying researching the 2012 “Sandra Fluke controversy that dominated the news for weeks,” in which Rush Limbaugh and others catapulted her to fame by calling her a “slut” and “prostitute” who ate free birth control pills like candy because she was constantly having sex with men. Then check out the file of intrepid reporting on Fluke’s boyfriend (now fiance), such as the revelation that her boyfriend’s father is a rich Super Jew who secretly controls Global Finance and the Democratic party, and is also maybe a Marxist, who, again, controls Global Finance.
Glad to help, Monica Crowley!
{ 152 comments }
I was not aware lesbians needed birth control.
Luckily we have a crack investigative journalist from Fox News to uncover the truth. Do lesbians need birth control? Many are asking…
"Do Lesbians Need Birth Control?"
A five part series starts this week on The Factor!
We report, you decide…
Do lesbians need birth control? We Report, You Decide.
a crack investigative journalist…
investigares wha…?
In Wing Nut-astan All lesbians take birth control because NOW and NAMBLA forces them to take it then have abortions while driving 65 MPG cars while the house cats they just married are sitting shotgun plotting to destroy NASCAR and burn flags.
Duuuuh Schmannnity! Where have you been?
"while the house cats they just married are sitting shotgun plotting to destroy NASCAR and burn flags…"
Toonces?
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo………….!
Wouldn't Toonces *drive* in NASCAR?
I thought that it came with the territory.
pretty much why GOP congresscritters don't need condoms – rentboys can't conceive
Those homosexuals are always trying to get free birth control.
Any woman who stands up for her rights instead of just taking what's coming to her is obviously a lesbian.
Thank you for today's Bible Reading!
Monica Crowley, noted Romney advisor, has insulted all women who are engaged to be married.
#NotFunny also. too.
In fairness, Crowley's married to her vibrator in the form of Jesus.
It's not Jesus on the Cross is it, because THAT might explain what's up her ass.
You know, I'm detecting just a hint of "why don't men want me" jealousy/envy in the tone of that Tweet.
I'm sure Ann Coulter's given her the eye from time to time
Well with all that man-on-dog sexytime happening somewhere, anything is possible, huh, Monica?
Who the fuck is Monica Crowley anyway? Some dim-witted FOX commentator? There's so many of them I can't keep up.
So who's this Monica Crowley chick, Wikipedia?
Italics added. You wonder if any of her books tells what it's like to boink the Trickster. "Now, Monica, I want to make one thing perfectly clear…"
Oh… I see. Miss Crowley is not married, thus SHE is the lesbian.
She used to be on the McLaughlin Report regularly.
I can understand why no one would marry her, gay or straight.
Interesting fact: her sister is married to Alan Colmes.
She is the person that finally drove me away from that show. Can you even imagine someone being an even more terrible person than John Mclaughlin?
He also regularly had Pat Buchanan on so, yes.
ew. Sounds jowl-y.
Also, from Arizona. Natural born wingnut.
Nixon liked to put ketchup on her before diving in.
With the fireplace roaring and the window open. Maybe she has cottage cheese thighs….
Monica obviously has no idea how these here internets work.
Hey everyone, go and vote "No" in this cool Orly Taitz poll! I know how much you all like doing civic minded things like that.
http://www.govote.com/candidates/california/candi…
Hey! I *voted* for OilyTitz in the GOP primary last time – she'd be the PERFECT GOP candidate for any elective office, anywhere in the US!
Yep, liberals are hateful and have to make personal attacks constantly because they have nothing to say of substance.
/sighs
Don't forget "angry". The rabid Comment Octopus that lives on the conservaturd sites always says "angry liberal". Is that coming from Central Programming, or what's the reference?
I overlooked it in my amazement that this Monica Crowley lady was able to override her sense of shame and say something that offensively stupid.
She can override her sense of shame because it is just a painted line, not some huge speed bump.
Also, we hate electricity.
Getting married? That will put an end to her sex life.
Bill Maher says something stupid and demeaning means the end of the world (or at least frenzied pearl clutching).
Monica Crowley says something stupid and demeaning and no one should be offended she was just asking.
@MonicaCrowley eats dead babies?
No insinuation, straightforward question.
No answer yet.
She's not going to dignify that with an answer.
(because she eats them alive, of course.)
In her skull? "Monica Crowley Announces Empty Cavity"
Just a straightforward question.
In her skull?
Oh fuck that.
Proving that anyone with blonde hair and a working cooter can get a PhD in something. Scabrous whore.
Are we sure the never married Miss Crowley has a *working* cooter?
43 and never married Miss Crowley? Meeeeooooow.
What exactly are you insinuating, Schmannity? Hmmmm?
Jealousy, exactly.
"That bitch Michele stole my man! Marcus, I'm still here for you!!!!"
Well, I'm sure she's still practicing abstinence only after all these decades.
Perhaps not by choice, but yes.
FTW!
Monica Crowley's cat is named Gabrielle. Just to move things along, that's a Xena reference.
Monica's envy about other women being 'attractive' to men is frankly not helping her cause.
@MonicaCrowley
STFU you bobble-headed homophobic bimbette.
#nobodygivesaflyingfuckwhatyouthink
Hey, is it true Monica Crowley hangs out at the aquarium with Troy McClure? Totally a straightforward question.
No, she merely smells that way. It's an easy assumption to make.
That's your choice GOP ladies, A GOP slut-lady or a dykey lesbian. CHOOSE NOW!
Here is a real knee slapper for you.
Sponsors, can you say Monica Crowley must go!
Monica has a point. Ms. Fluke could have been dating a turkey baster.
Yes Monica. Sandra is marrying a strapping manly man. A man with an enormous penis that ejaculates sperm like a grenade launcher and brings Sandra to nightly multiple orgasms. Why do you think Ms. Fluke requires all the contraception?
As for you Monica, I assume you will be spending your nights alone in your apartment with your cat, your box of Kleenex and your vibrator. Perhaps if you would start taking more contraceptives, men would find you sexually desirable.
Excellent.
(golf clap)
Here, here!
(And, yes, I know it's technically "hear, hear", but I really meant here, here, what with the Sandra Fluke orgasms and such).
No, we wouldn't.
So if a single woman who uses birth control is a slut and a prostitute, what is a married woman who uses it?
A whore and a trollop?
Just a guess.
Just like Cindy McCain?
If she's in Arizona, she's denying her unformed fetus the right to life! This must be stopped right now!
Trick Question! The answer is a slut and prostitute.
A wise slutty prostitute with great jewelry.
If she's married to a GOPer, "future ex-wife." That jewelry is on loan, sweetheart.
Guilty of preemptive genocide?
a witch?
Megan Calvet Draper?
She obviously needs the birth control in order to prevent the birth of Jesus II, the Second Coming.
Now we *finally* know who asked 'how babby formed? how girl get pregnant?'
And surprisingly, it wasn't a six year old sister or brother to be, but a 44 year old slouching spinster.
Poor Monica — you'll find a nice man one day too, dear, to make you a whole woman. Before it shrivels up, I hope.
Don't you wish, Monica…
Sandra Fluke is smart, articulate, good looking and about to graduate from a top law school and marry a really rich guy.
Monica Cowley uses her Columbia Ph.D. to write on twitter.
Monica is a bitter harpy.
Harpies everywhere rise up in protest.
Who cares what one of Bob Barker's former show case show model has to say about politics?
For realz?
Pardon my unladylike choice of words, but:
You have to be fucking shitting me.
To a man? No to your sister, you bottle bleach blond ditz bomb.
Does @MonicaCrowley know that lesbians don't have penises that ejaculate sperm to fertilize an egg?
Straightforward question. No answer yet.
The closest Monica's been to seeing a penis is when she takes a piss.
Oh, you were just asking a real question?
Oh, fuck you you fucking dishonest cunt fuck.
Conservatives have a real hard time figuring out their sexual slurs. We should make a book, "Sexual Terms for Dummies," which would improve their familiarity with these terms.
WELL AREN'T YOU A CLEVER LADY?
Jesus Christ on a pogo stick, these people would cause a stink if it was revealed that someone ate a bagel for breakfast.
I like you Stewart. You're not like the other people here at the trailer park.
Oh man, multiple upfists for the Stewart reference.
@MonicaCrowley is a cunt?
No insinuation, straightforward question.
No answer yet.
But I think I know.
Wow, Crowley is giving the cheap, easy joke a bad name.
We're doomed.
Well, cheap and easy are her specialties!
No insinuation, straightforward statement.
That's ok. They have thier echo chamber and we have ours.
Monica Crowley socializes electronically and in real life with people who would find her little quip amusing. Sad.
So she landed a nice Jewish boy from a good family?
#mazeltov
Mazel Tov? Sounds ethnic.
Isn't that what the Reds use to burn down factories? Mazel Tov Cocktails?
More like Mossad.
See, I scrolled down this post too quickly. I thought Crowley was the human adverb.
"She crowley bitched about how lonely it felt, locked away in her home office, typing furiously away to slur a beautiful young lady"
"To a man? "Sandra Fluke Announces Engagement"
Wonder if she used the same brain power when writing her dissertation.
Word order? I don't know it.
Wonder what it is about Conservabitches that they think smart automatically equals lesbian? I realize this dumb twat-bearer has no idea what being a intelligent woman looks like, but I don't understand calling the slut pill girl a lesbian at all. I don't even know why that is funny. IF she had been testifying AGAINST birth control then that would be "appropriate," but this is just like saying "Shut up, you're gay" to someone in an asshole fight, right?
a fistful of my pill candy says Monica was a "lesbian-until-graduation" among the frat buddies she fucked for approval.
She was just trying to get Shawn, Chuck, Tucker, Bryce, Hunt, Blaine, and "Chugger" to like her!
Those names! I'm upfisting and cringing at the same time!
Just for the sake of argument, let's say Sandra Fluke is a lesbian. Do I care? Uh, hell no!
What not a Lesbian?Every woman is a six pack away from her first lesbian experience.Let's hope there are pic's.
Now, if it had been Elena Kagan, that would have been comedic gold.
Monica just has never been able to find a man who could thrill her like the 80-year old Richard Nixon did.
If you're the kind of person who gets hot when he bombs neutral countries, the erection never really goes away.
She spent all those years with him trying to learn whether "Tricky Dick" had a secret meaning.
Whereas he was just trying to get it down Pat.
Saw she retweeted someone who said "Wow, the Left has really been busy spewing vile and misogynistic bile at Conservative women today. But we don't retreat, we reload."
Ladies, instead of reloading or retreating, I'd rather you read a basic biology text. One that covers more than Genesis. You'll be amazed.
Oh! I get it! It's a JOKE!
It's funny because Sandra Fluke is intelligent and has short, brown hair and obviously no hot-blooded man would want that, so she must be a lesbo.
Ha?
"intelligent and has short, brown hair .. must be a lesbo"
Wait, does this mean that you're really a lesbian? Oh no!
Oh no? I think you really mean 'Oh Yes!'
What hot blooded man would want that? Both hands up,, waving wildly – "Me! Me!"
Mrs. Crowley, what went on in your head?
Oh Mrs. Crowley, did you talk with Glenn Beck?
Your writing style is that of a hack,
your 'reporting' and all,
The village needs their idiot back,
Faux News took the call…
I wanna know what you meant…
Music is not the same without Randy Rhodes :(
Next thing you know, she will be biting the heads off blahs.
Yes Monica, to a man, just like Lindsey Graham.
Sandra Fluke is engaged?
what a sad and depressing story !
Face it Monica, Sandra likes you but she doesn't LIKE like you. Move on.
Ms. Crowley, won't you ride my white horse?
Ms. Crowley, it's symbolic of course
Approaching a time that is classic
I hear that maiden's call
Approaching a time that is drastic
Standing with their backs to the wall
Was it polemically sent?
I wanna know what you meant
I wanna know
I wanna know what you meant, yeah!
Thanks Ozzy!!
'Tweets on a Scandal' anyone?
….and Monica Crowley will someday have sex. With a human? Not "insinuating", just asking a question.
All this attention for unmarried fortysomething wingnut spinster Monica Crowley is making unmarried fortysomething wingnut spinster Kathryn Jean Lopez jealous.
To her job? "Monica Crowley announces engagement"
Is Monica Crowley dating Larry Fishelson? Straightforward question.
Here are Monica and Larry, showing off their closeness.
http://www.dynalinktel.com/photo-gallery.html
Remember, no cheap jokes about Mr. Fishelson.
C….C….cu…….c.c.cc..cc…cun…. NO!
I'm trying real hard guys!
I must have missed something. When did Monica Crowley move to Us Weekly?
Who writes Monical Crowley's tweets for her?
I'm not implying that Crowley is subliterate, I'm just asking a straightfowrward question.
the 44 year old bitter blogger
Wow, now that Ann Coulter is near death (50) it's like "Game of Thrones" among the right-wing bimbettes. "Winter (and nothing else) is coming."
"Ann Coulter is near death (50)"
Be sure to drive a stake through her heart at a crossroads; we don't want *that* one coming back.
So she asks straight questions about the sexual pairings of pending weddings as a matter of course? So when the Prince of Wales got married a while back, she asked, "To a woman"?
That…that doesn't even make sense! Jesus, I'm not a self-hating female conservative and even I can think of an alternative:
"To just one man?!"
It's not even funny but at least it has a logical relationship to…well, things in reality.
Monica is saving herself for Anne Coulter.
Monica dearie, you spot it, you got it.
I think it's nice that she's getting married. Then her children won't be just a Fluke.
"Insinuating" nothing. Straightforward question. No answer yet.
Keep waiting, honey.
Fluke's response: "Monica who?"
Pathetic. Really. Pathetic.
Didn't she learn anything from the Tupac hologram?
Vapid whore is vapid.
No, she's getting engaged to a maypole and she plans on dancing around it to ensure good harvests.
I understand Monica brushes her teeth five times a day, but her breath still smells like Nixons's penis.
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