think of the children or whatever

Obama Conducting ‘Marxist Dogma’ By Trying To Reduce Child Labor On Farms

i long to be on the tractor again

Yesterday, late-night television, today, THE FAMILY FARM! President Obama is on a quest to ruin all the fun the conservatives are having now they’ve got a/their man, and the latest method is to tell people who own farms that their children can’t necessarily work on them because they are children? Crazy. “For generations children and adults have worked together on the family farm. Those days are over,” writes The Gateway Pundit, even though of course there are plenty of conservatives coming to the aid of farmers great and small (in stature) now. And of course the proposed bill, sponsored by Republicans John Thune (SD) and Jerry Moran (Kansas) has the word “preserving” in it, because if they could submerge 1950s-or-so America in formaldehyde and seal it in an airtight container forever, well, they would.

The Department of Labor announced last year that it was planning to restrict child labor on farms so that children under 18 could no longer be involved “in the storing, marketing and transporting of farm product raw materials,” among other things. The opposing argument goes something like, “Come on, there aren’t that many farm accidents, and they can so study world American history and drive tractors at the same time!” And also, perhaps, that Monsanto with its Dalek employees will continue to rule the world because robots are more efficient than children and without the children the family farms will be really powerless. Yes, all of a sudden conservatives are really against big corporations monopolizing industries, isn’t it lovely?

The bottom line is…MARXISM. Someone from Canada, of all places, has chimed in, declaring that Obama’s proposal “comes straight from the Marxist handbook.” From “Dr.” somebody at Canada Free Press:

The Marxist-Leninist dogma said, “A small property generates capitalism day by day, minute by minute, spontaneous, and in mass proportions.” The small-time farmer feeding his family, with a little surplus, was seen as an individual member of the bourgeoisie, requiring squashing.

Continues the doctor:

Can this happen in America? Can we lose our land and property to someone else deemed more deserving by constant leftist propaganda? Can we lose our land to wilderness because environmentalists in control force us to move? Or is it already happening peacefully and silently while the population is being soothed with “hope and change”, lies and fabrications on a daily basis?

Interesting that this person is up in Canada, being oppressed by trees and ruled by pioneer Stephen Harper and still feeling angry about what’s happening down here with Obama.

We’re getting word that someone else, a Ms. Sarah Palin, has something to say about this. On her Facebook page, the former ex-something equates stricter child labor laws on farms with the failure of America.

The Obama Administration is working on regulations that would prevent children from working on our own family farms. This is more overreach of the federal government with many negative consequences. And if you think the government’s new regs will stop at family farms, think again.

My family is a commercial fishing family, and commercial fishing in Alaska is much like the family farm (but the year ’round farmers no doubt work harder than we do!). I guarantee fishing families wouldn’t stand for this nonsensical intrusion into our lives and livelihoods, and, as a former 4-H member, I don’t believe farm families will either. Our kids learn to work and to help feed America on our nation’s farms, and out on the water.

Federal government: get your own house in order and stop interfering in ours.

Well, working on a farm is slightly better, though also very similar, to being a janitor in one’s school. And how does school fit into this, again? This may be a concern of Obama’s, but it’s more likely that he just hates children. [The Gateway Pundit/Politico]

About the author

Liz is a writer. She has written for this site, evidently, and also The Awl, The San Francisco Chronicle, NPR, The Economist and others. She is the author of a short story collection, Cover Story.

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87 comments

    1. Baconzgood

      Hey Johnny, you got small arms. Reach into that thresher and tighten that bolt for daddy.

      1. JustPixelz

        I'd ask your brother Lefty to do it, but he's spraying insecticide to protect the genetically altered corn.

          1. actor212

            Aw, dad! Can't Stumpy do it? He's just sitting there on the porch! I'm trying to fix the detonator on this new fishing bomb you gave me for my birfday

          2. Baconzgood

            "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THE PAIN!!!!!!!!! MY FINGERS!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOOD GOD WHERE ARE MY FINGERS!!!?!!"

            (end scene)

  1. Allmighty_Manos

    I'm fed up with big government regulations that prevent my 260 adopted Salvadoran children from working in my family textile factory.

  2. Callyson

    Can this happen in America? Can we lose our land and property to someone else deemed more deserving by constant leftist propaganda?

    Hmmm…ask a former homeowner whose house was foreclosed on by the banks, even while they tried their best to work with the banks but got no response.

    Can we lose our land to wilderness because environmentalists in control force us to move?

    Ask the animals (the non – human ones, I mean the non – human ones who are not members of the GOP) about losing their land, buddy…

    1. Baconzgood

      "Can we lose our land and property to someone else deemed more deserving"

      Don't forget the Injuns.

  3. CrunchyKnee

    I thought Monsanto owned all the farms? Where was the Republican outcry when that was happening?

    1. Come here a minute

      Little Timmy Monsanto wants to help out with the Frankenfarming, but Big Brother Obummer won't let him!

    2. ChuckieJesus

      "Hi there, folks. You know, I’d been having trouble with velvet leaf, cutworm and, uh, foxtail and, well, that’s when the representative from Monsanto came out to my farm. He recommended a pre-emergent, inferral mixture of Lorsban with Atrazine in a tank mix and I told him to get off my land."

      - Joel Robinson, MST3k, Fugitive Alien (first aired August 1991)

  4. BaldarTFlagass

    I'm sure them farm kids would much prefer performing stoop labor and getting sucked into the thresher to fucking off on their X-Boxes.

  5. EatsBabyDingos

    "Commercial fishing" is what Discovery does when they sign Sarah for a show. Usually by leaving notes in the Men's Room at Verizon Center, usually during WWE events.

  6. chascates

    The earlier kids learn they exist only to produce for others the better off they'll be. Or the more indoctrinated. Whatever.

  7. Poindexter718

    Where am I gonna find an adult midget or contortionist to operate the pneumatic pig gelder?

    1. Man0nTheStreet

      Craigslist, of course!
      If you're lucky, they'll offer to pay you for the privilege!

  8. Pithaughn

    Oh sweet memories. Grandpa would "baby sit" me and my cousins by piling us all on the tractor while he sprayed the orchard. His motto was always double the concentration of whatever chemical was being mixed. So, yes we happily breathed in clouds of DDT at twice the manufacturer recommendation. Another family farm anecdote Sir Pith? Sure, I have time for one more. My wife's aunts, every single one, and her mom died of cancer, except the oldest one who did not grow up on the family farm.

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      We used to ride our bikes behind the DDT fogger trucks they would send around the family housing areas on the various air bases I grew up on as a kid. I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop.

      1. smokefilledroommate

        When my mother was very young, she would follow my great-grandma while she sprayed DDT around the house using a bellows. Later when my mom was around 12 or 13, she developed ovarian cysts.

      2. Pithaughn

        For all I know that is me in the picture above. That was our MO back then, junior farmers.

  9. Doktor StrangeZoom

    The golf links lie so near the mill
    That almost every day
    The laboring children can look out
    And see the men at play.

    Sarah Norcliffe Cleghorne, 1916

  10. Baconzgood

    Since we're booting all the Messicans out who else will pick those crops for 18 hours a day but America's Youth?

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      Next step in the Obama agenda: Shock Battalions of Young Pioneers made up of kids from the inner cities sent out to help with the harvest. It's all part of his Five Year Plan.

        1. Baconzgood

          Except for the guy with the switch who's about to whip them it looks like they are playing in a sand box. It's fun to dig frozen ground with your bare hands.

      1. Chichikovovich

        There are secret government factories making red scarves by the ton, just waiting for after the election to ship them to the young patriots for their struggle against the Kulaks.

  11. EtchySketchy

    Don't I feel like an asshole, I just sent the kids out to harvest this year's crop of lead.

  12. BaldarTFlagass

    "And if you think the government’s new regs will stop at family farms, think again."

    The DuPonts are horrified at the idea that they are not going to be able to let their young heirs work in the family Agent Orange plant during their summer breaks from school.

  13. JustPixelz

    They sure love children before they're born. Afterward, it's go fuck yourself ya little freeloader.

  14. BaldarTFlagass

    The implementation of child labor laws in the 1840s was the beginning of the decline and fall of the British Empire. Those who do not learn from history are condemned to repeat it.

  15. kissawookiee

    1. rent U-Haul
    2. collect foster kids from Louisiana gheys
    3. have 'em plant farm stuff for frees
    4. profi… NOOOOOOOOOOOOO curses foiled again

  16. Mahousu

    if they could submerge 1950s-or-so America in formaldehyde

    But weren't Union Carbide and DuPont actually doing that in the 50's? I'm not sure it helped.

  17. elviouslyqueer

    Federal government: get your own house in order and stop interfering in ours.

    Oh Sarah, dear sweet multiple-birth-household resulting from your slutty daughters getting knocked up every two seconds and your husband having an affair with a Wasilla prostitute Sarah. You so precious, honey, hectoring the government about keeping its house in order.

    1. Baconzgood

      "Why do these stones I'm throwing keep bouncing off my glass walls?"

      -Grifter McGrift Slut-

  18. chascates

    And Palin's family is a 'commercial grifting family' and it's never to early to start the little tykes on the path to easy money.

  19. actor212

    Can we lose our land and property to someone else deemed more deserving

    You mean like how Groton (maybe it was New London) Connecticut declared eminent domain and handed like three houses over to a mini-mall developer?

  20. SayItWithWookies

    I must be missing something — how the fuck does clubbing a tiny halibut to death on a reality show make one a commercial fucking fisherman? Oh right — the same way getting your husband to shoot a moose on your license and then making him skin it makes one a fucking moose hunter.

    1. actor212

      It's like when my family went fishing: I'd worm my sister's hook….go on, make the joke…then I'd cast it for her and hand her the pole. She'd get a nibble…I'll wait. AGAIN….and then toss the pole to me to reel the fuck in, take it off the hook and put it on the table for my mom to clean.

      Sis: "I caught us dinner!"

  21. Designer_Rants

    because if they could submerge 1950s-or-so America in formaldehyde and seal it in an airtight container forever, well, they would.

    Yes please, keep the 91% top marginal tax rates, the huge infrastructure investment, reasonable Republicans like Dwight Eisenhower, and throw the gains from the Civil Rights Movement in there for taste.

    Edit: Forgot; also keep the high private sector union participation.

  22. BlueStateLibel

    I for one will miss having an overworked 15-year-old driving a truck filled with hogs careening down the highway towards me.

    1. Man0nTheStreet

      He's got some homemade meth, some homeskool lernin' and a bright future – hawling hogs!

  23. SorosBot

    "For generations children and adults have worked together on the family farm. Those days are over,”

    Yes, those days are over, because family farms barely exist any more; the corporate factory farms have replaced them. There's no need to create exemptions to child labor laws to protect a way of life that no longer exists.

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      "There's no need to create exemptions to child labor laws to protect a way of life that no longer exists."

      But there certainly is a need to make a bunch of fucking sturm und dräng about it.

    2. actor212

      You're missing the bigger picture here. Now Archer Daniels Midland can simply hire children by adopting Guatamelans by the truckload.

  24. actor212

    My family is a commercial fishing family, and commercial fishing in Alaska is much like the family farm

    Yup. Sure is hard roping them chinook tho [spit!]

  25. Blueb4sunrise

    On the bright side, a lot of our blues and country legends learned to play so they could get off THE FUCKING FARM.

  26. Designer_Rants

    I haven't taken the time to read about this (I'm currently an eight year-old boy trapped at the bottom of a grain elevator), but I grew up on a farm and it sucked to walk in the fields and such, but it didn't kill me, maybe built character, or something?

    I get the feeling this bill (or idea, or Breezy Policy Fart) isn't quite as restrictive as the wingtards are getting all red in the face for. Why do I get that feeling?

  27. mavenmaven

    The gubbermint took away our blacks and messicans and now they're taking our children away? Who will be our cheap labor on the farm?

  28. timbo71351

    Gateway Pundit and Caribou Barbie are two of the dumbest motherfuckers on the Internet. If they're squaking about something, odds are it is nothing to worry about.

  29. fuflans

    also, the little bastards will probably grow up to be wingtards so what's the loss of a few digits here and there.

  30. owhatever

    Mah mammy and pappy raised five strong sons and two strong daughters to run a hunnerd forty acres of farmland. Today, they live on a hunnerd and forty acres of weeds and receive gift cards from the kids, who got the hell out of there as soon as they could and now live in faraway cities.

Comments are closed.