ruling from the fox news back bench

Scalia Shares Gratuitously Jerky Comment About Illegals Right on Cue

Scalia is the real alien!

Attention-whoring nematode Antonin Scalia would like to take a regularly scheduled opportunity to remind America that his is a lifetime appointment and professionalism be damned, on this the occasion of the national attention being paid to the SCOTUS hearing on the constitutionality of Arizona’s “Let’s have a Mexican-hunting party” SB 1070 law, and therefore let you know that illegal immigrants are somewhat like bank robbers. Seems about right, what with how illegal immigrants are constantly stealing money for a living, by working for it at below-market wages.

From TPM:

“What’s wrong about the states enforcing federal law?” Scalia said during his aggressive questioning of U.S. Solicitor General Donald Verrilli. “There is a federal law against robbing federal banks. Can it be made a state crime to rob those banks? I think it is.”

The Reagan-appointed justice mocked the Obama administration’s argument that S.B. 1070 unconstitutionally forces the federal government to re-prioritize its enforcement resources and go after undocumented people who are not dangerous.

“But does the attorney general come in and say, you know, we might really only want to go after the professional bank robbers?” Scalia said. “If it’s just an amateur bank robber, you know, we’re going to let it go. And the state’s interfering with our whole scheme here because it’s prosecuting all these bank robbers.”

The line drew uncomfortable laughter and some gasps in the courtroom.

What is an “amateur bank robber?” Oh right, it is the kind that sneaks into your bank and washes the dishes in the employee lounge instead of breaking open the vault. Makes sense now. [TPM]

What Others Are Reading

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.


  1. ManchuCandidate

    Show me the birf certificate, Scalia. No US American name ends with a vowel. Only people named Smith, Williams, Davis and Kristallnacht are REAL US AMERICANS.

          1. Ann_ObeyMe_Money

            I was thinking of sneaking up on the Little Woman while she's bent over doing some chore or the other and requesting an hors d'oeuvre of "skirt steak," in a molestingly melting tone of voice (with plenty of hand action). You betcha booty it's adults only.

  2. V572 Fehrnstrom

    If the strongest argument the Solicitor-General can make against SB 1070 is that it would just be really inconvenient for the feds tired to enforce the laws Congress passed—that is, to deport the Messicans Sheriff Arpaio snags in his Brown Dragnet—one has to worry a bit about the future, at least in Arizona.

    Not that there's any reason to go there anyway, once you've seen the Grand Canyon and bought your crystals in Sedona.

    1. BerkeleyBear

      The legal argument is that the Federal Government's scheme is comprehensive, to the point where the state's doing anything fucks with it too much. That's a basic principle of preemption in areas like immigration enforcement where the direct issue isn't explicitly dealt with in the Constitution (because there were no immigration laws in the 18th century or even most of the 19th) but everyone acknowledges it is an area of national rather than regional concern.

      Scalia's just being a douche, per usual.

      1. V572 Fehrnstrom

        Thanks. That makes more sense. Guess that's how Mitt's grandpa was able to come here from his polygamous resort in Puerto Vallarta.

  3. Jus_Wonderin

    I don't have personal experience, but I have heard that a case of Scalia is really, really nasty stuff.

  4. rickmaci

    Jeezuss Skullfuckia. If you want to be a snarkmeister, quit the bench and become a regular commenter here. Otherwise, leave the smart ass cracks at home and when you put on the black robe do your f'ing job, or at least try to pretend that you are a judge and have not already made up your narrow bigoted mind based on your politics.

  5. anniegetyerfun

    Can it be made a state law to force every brown person who walks into a bank "show their papers"? Scalia certainly hopes so!

    1. Guppy

      Saving your money in a US bank requires papers. Remitting it to Mexico does not.

      There's your priorities.

      1. anniegetyerfun

        Interestingly, all I had to show was a driver's license and social security card when I opened my most recent. bank account. According to all of my racist coworkers, every illegal alien has these things, possibly several different versions of them.

        Of course, I didn't say "Mexican" – I said brown.

        1. Guppy

          That's still the same kind of documentation you're expected to show when you get a new job, to show your "eligibility" to work in this country. It's easier to fly on an airplane than it is to park some cash locally.

          And it's not just remittances to Mexico that are "no questions asked." It's also remittances to the Cayman Islands.

  6. SayItWithWookies

    Isn't separation of powers pretty expressly spelled out in that — what the hell's it called? Oh yeah — the one damn document that Antonin Scalia was supposed to know about in order to get the damn job he now has.

  7. edgydrifter

    By Scalia's impeccable stand-your-ground reasoning, you are free to kill all the Mexicans you see if you're afraid they might steal American jobs.

  8. Beowoof

    They're brown gun em down is the new legal philosophy put forth by the court. Scalia should be careful with that.

      1. Ann_ObeyMe_Money

        Did you ever see the film Monsieur Klein? There's a scene in there where M. Klein, who makes his living buying priceless works of art from Jews fleeing the Reich for a song, asks his elderly father, "Are we Jewish?" And the old man replies, "We've been French and Catholic since Louis the Fifteenth!"

        Nino needs to remember whose side he's gonna end up on.

      2. Beowoof

        I was thinking of True Romance where Dennis Hopper explains Italian genealogy to Christopher Walken.

        1. Barb

          I'm going bonkers over here. Jeff is in a meeting and he needs to come home so that we can leave for vacation. I can't wait to drive through Arizona!

  9. MiniMencken

    This Supreme Court won't rest until it has turned the United States into a full-blown police state. No snark here, unfortunately.

  10. anniegetyerfun

    When my dad was 5 years old, he tied a bandana around his nose and mouth, took his BB gun into the local bank (this is in rural Canada), and tried to hold the place up. In between guffaws of laughter, the teller pressed the alarm, and Dad high-tailed it out of the bank (probably peeing himself in the process).

    THAT is an amateur bank robber.

    And yes, my communist Canadian father DID immigrate to the US and become a US citizen, but he's white, so it's probably no big deal.

  11. sullivanst

    God I hope Sec. Gen. Verilli smacked Scalia hard upside the head with a copy of the ruling from, say, Wyeth v. Levine, or better yet, Hines v. Davidowitz wrapped around a large gold brick.

    Unfortunately I'm not sure I trust that he did, after his verily woeful performance "defending" the ACA.

    To take Scalia's question at all seriously, you'd have to presume he's entirely ignorant of immigration law, federal preemption doctine, or both. I presume he's just a fucking asshole whose cilice has been too tight for years resulting in brain damage from inadequate blood supply.

    1. LetUsBray

      Well, according to Media Matters, he pretty much just lets talk radio do his thinking for him. It's like having everybody's blowhard dumb-as-dirt dipshit coworker on the supreme court.

    2. actor212

      Even allowing his ridiculous scenario, McFadden makes it clear that states have jurisdiction over all bank branches operating within its borders, not the Fed, whereas the Fed has jurisdiction over citizenship, not the states.

  12. Guppy

    Meanwhile, being robbed by a bank is legal in both state and federal jurisdictions.

    There are reasons why bank robbers were cheered around the beginning of the Twentieth Century.

  13. Man0nTheStreet

    I think this is the first Wonkette thread-photo that I've ever been truly disturbed by – I mean, who the hell wants to see Scalia naked?! …BARF!!!!

  14. BerkeleyBear

    Scalia's extreme level of dickishness, given that the exact same lawyers are up there from healthcare, has me wondering. Is he taking the douchiness to 11 because he knows he's lost healthcare and he is feeling vindictive (this is the guy who said Lawrence v. Texas was going to doom western civilization and that granting habeas corpus to Gitmo internees would lead to thousands of dead American soldiers, so he tends to gripe when he loses)? Especially since Kagen isn't participating in this argument? Or is he feeling super empowered to be a dick now because he got 5 votes to fuck Obama over and is just on a rampage?

    It could be either, but I really hope its the former. Scalia is typically at his most hostile and nasty when he loses or is being criticized publicly, so I just hope he's got a bad case of redass and pays off in upholding the mandate.

    1. Chet Kincaid

      Someone should prepare a set of Scalia threat-level alerts, with suitably embarrassing icons. I deputize you to provide us with weekly assessments!

      1. BerkeleyBear

        It would only have two levels – Asshole and Giant Fucking Asshole. Fortunately the Court is taking a vacation soon, so we'll all have a few months away from the jackass.

  15. WIDTAP

    Hey, I am all for States enacting immigration laws as long as they don't transfer any of the workload or prisoners over to federal agencies. After all, a bank robber found guilty under State law serves their sentence in State prison.

    Good luck with that Arizona. Call California if you run into crowding troubles.

  16. bikerlaureate

    What’s wrong about the states enforcing federal law? There is a federal law against killing somebody just because they're homosexual. Can it be made a state crime to kill those homosexuals? I think it is.

  17. Come here a minute

    Scalia should follow the lead of Justice Thomas and STFU, with the possible exception of the occasional quacking noise.

    1. sullivanst

      They should both follow the lead of Andrew Breitbart, and make some room on the bench for jurists who'll judge cases on their merits.

  18. Callyson

    "But does the attorney general come in and say, you know, we might really only want to go after the professional bank robbers?” Scalia said. “If it’s just an amateur bank robber, you know, we’re going to let it go. And the state’s interfering with our whole scheme here because it’s prosecuting all these bank robbers.”

    Is this supposed to make any fucking sense at all?

    1. Naked_Bunny

      I dunno. Was Scalia supposed to be implying that individual states can enforce federal laws by forming treaties with other countries, establishing standing armies, and printing their own currency?

  19. Mumbly_Joe

    I believe that the professional bank robbers are the ones who get bonuses for emptying out peoples' retirement accounts, whereas the amateurs only get base pay for the same.

    Long-standing federal policy, in other words, has been that we only go after the amateurs.

  20. TanzbodenKoenig

    Article 1, Section 8 of the Constitution buddy. The states can't prosecute bank robbers if the constitution says only the Federal Governmnet has to power to set bank robbery policy

    How the fuck does a Supreme Court Justice not even know the enumerated powers of the Federal Government or understand the Supremacy clause?

    1. sullivanst

      Willful ignorance.

      Or perhaps in this case, pretending he doesn't know because that opens up the opportunity to indulge in his favorite hobby: being a complete jerk.

      1. TanzbodenKoenig

        Really tho I was a german major and I smoke so much weed I can't even remember what I had for breakfast but even I know that. FFS, the man is sitting on the highest court in the land and never even bothered to read the first few paragraphs of the document he's purporting to interpret/uphold

  21. Mojopo

    Whenever I see Scalia's photo, doctored or not, I feel like he would smell of mustard and bad breath, and that his fingers and face would be greasy.

  22. Naked_Bunny

    This is the same Scalia who overrode Florida's state election process in Bush v. Gore, right?

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      Scalia's all opposed to Big Gummint … except when it serves conservatard interests.

    1. sullivanst

      Yup, those are all the way down to his level.

      "The U.S.S. of A."? That would make no sense at all: the Union of Soviet Socialist of America. Well, she's redneck, rightwing and blonde, so I guess it's to be expected with that trifecta. Miracle she knew how to use a microphone.

  23. Antispandex

    I don't know…this could be some sort of reverse psychology. Scalia sounds like a Mexican name to me….or, you know, a bank robber's last name.

  24. Biel_ze_Bubba

    Arizona claims to be spending so much money on the problem of illegal immigrants. Am I the only one who wonders how much they might save if they just quit all the Arpaio-style douchebaggery? Not to mention paying platoons of lawyers to litigate all their douchebaggy laws?

  25. Redgyal

    What is an “amateur bank robber?” Oh right, it is the kind that sneaks into your bank and washes the dishes in the employee lounge instead of breaking open the vault.

    Yes, but what is an amateur capitalist???

  26. tessiee

    *turning hat around in both hands*
    A humble request…
    Please to refrain from any more pictures of Scalia — preferably any of them, but most definitely the nekkid ones.
    Thank you ever so.

  27. Chow Yun Flat

    Gov. Jan Brewer was interviewed "on the steps of the Supreme Court" after today's argument. She sounds extremely dumb–like developmentally disabled dumb. Seems that anyone can get elected to anything in Arizona.

    1. fuflans

      honest to god i just heard that quote today.

      now i don't know how this will turn out, but i JUST said to my boy: why are all the monsters winning in murica right now??

  28. fuflans

    hey! i didn't know we had that in common: canadian parent who immigrated to well, down here.

    however, my mom actually speaks beautiful french (she grew up in montreal) and – i am not making this up – acted briefly in canada with william shatner.

  29. dopper0189

    Well if you decided the Government can decide to not enforce the 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, and 8th amendments, I think it;s perfectly logical they can ignore something that is just a "law".

    1. Me_K_Cong

      Have you noticed how her head flops left/right when she talks? And how it makes a clanking sound, like a cowbell?

  30. MilwaukeeKent

    What the Justice Department needs is a Solicitor General that can put things in terms that Nino can understand. "Your Honor, SB1070 means that any retired Pollack yahoo from Berwyn can demand that a cop require proof of legality from anyone they don't like who speaks with an accent or has a complexion other than white, even Wops like us, capiche? Putting aside the question of Federal jurisdiction, since 75% of people of Mexican decent in Arizona are American citizens, and the law is clearly targeted at the Mexican population, it has great potential for harassment of the otherwise law-abiding. Further, that retired Pollack can demand that the cop be called to account for NOT demanding proof of citizenship from that olive-skinned Wop who "looked a little ethnic to him."

  31. mrblifil

    On the plus side anytime Scalia is the subject of a news profile it causes someone, somewhere, in some undisclosed location to say something along the lines of 'that is one ugly motherfucker."

  32. DemmeFatale

    I had a Canadian friend in college that was known for his awful French.
    We called him Mais-Oui, (pronounced maah-waah), due to his horrible accent.

  33. WonkCynic

    Illegal chilli shitters should earn their right to legal citizenship by by working in brothels that service Marines and Army grunts. No free foodstamps or HUD checks for those chilli shitter bitches until they've after they've sucked off a at least a few hundred marines. Fair is Fair. Nothing in the world is free. This ain't a Goddamned taco commune.

    1. Boojum

      No, nor is it the video game fantasy from which you must return to your Mom's basement, covered in Cheetoh dust and baby oil, listening to your Mom's screams of delight and the tramp, tramp, tramp of the booted feet of the 101st.

  34. WhatTheHolyHeck

    I grew up there, and my high school French teacher acknowledged she was teaching us gutter Frog. She used to say you could pass for Quebecois in Montreal by talking in English while pursing your lips like you're kissing through chicken wire.

    "Werr ihzz deuh boos?"

  35. Biel_ze_Bubba

    I know — it's almost as if Bush appointed them based on their political views, or something. Weird, innit?

Comments are closed.