Add to Flipboard Magazine.

SexyIs it just us, or is it kind of ick-nast that an Iranian diplomat posted in Brasilia fondled and groped at least four girls between the ages of 9 and 15 in a public swimming pool? It must be just us: The Iranians have called him home, but totes not for the fondling. No, it was because he shouldn’t have been at a mixed-sex swimming pool in the first place, because men can’t control their urges when they see bare ankles and wrists and the next thing you know they are molesting all the prepubescents, that is just SCIENCE, OBVS. Haha Muslins and whatnot, SO FUNNY LOLS!

“People wanted to kill him,” a father of one of the girls told the new website G1.

Brazilian police arrested [Hekmatollah] Ghorbani but he was released under diplomatic immunity. The Iranian embassy in Brasilia defended Ghorbani in a statement calling the incident a “cultural misunderstanding,” a comment which Mehmanparast was asked about Tuesday.

“On principle, we do not accept this person being at a mixed-sex swimming pool, and it is considered a disciplinary violation and therefore he was summoned home at once and we are reviewing his case,” Mehmanparast replied.

Then they complained the incident was being “twisted” because of Americans’ hard-on for war with Iran, which, just maybe don’t employ such rapey diplomats, ALLEGEDLY? But don’t worry, we will not war with you over that, we will be sure to plant some WMDs first, because we learned our lesson from the last time. :(

Previous articleSteny Hoyer Picks Hopeless Nerd Slapfight With John Boehner
Next articleAnnouncement: Live-Blogging Of Ye Olde Delaware Primarye To Commence Sometime Maybe