Just look at overgrown leather briefcase John Boehner making a shameful display of his mathematical prowess during a Fox News interview like he doesn’t even know that the viewers at home are going red and puffy in the face trying to follow along with a simple calculation of odds: “I would say that there is a two-in-three chance that we [the Republicans] win control of the House again but there’s a 1-in-3 chance that we could lose.” Good job, professor! But …wait, no, hang on, Steny Hoyer must needs make note of some errors in the department head’s equations here, since this is his salaried job, to check John Boehner’s math.
Oh yes, it seems that John Boehner forgot to carry the infinity give or take in his calculation of how much the Republican House members suck. Correct him in a nasal voice, Steny:
“I think there’s a higher chance than one-in-three,” Hoyer said during his weekly press briefing in the Capitol. “At best, from his perspective, it’s 50-50.”
That is one route of critique. Debbie Wasserman Schultz has another, as a contribution to this academic debate, which is merely to ridicule John Boehner for publicly admitting to doing math, like a weakling.
“How rare is it for a Speaker to suggest — I can tell you that [former Speaker] Nancy Pelosi [(D-Calif.)] would never have suggested there was a possibility we would lose,” Wasserman Schultz said.
Shut up, all of you.
Is anyone in Congress doing any actual work whatsoever? Oh look, the Senate Commerce Committee held a hearing today. What was that about?
“Year-in, year-out consumers face rate increases for pay TV that are rising faster than inflation,” said Rockefeller at a hearing on how online video platforms are affecting the price of television. “We are paying for so many channels, though we only watch a few.”
Oh good. Nice to see Homer Simpson’s petitions to Congress finally got through. [The Hill]






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I'm pretty sure those voting machines run the same program as a Vegas slot machine, so somebody should know the actual odds.
"Say, why did my vote come up two Obamas and a cherry?"
Senator McCain, is that you?
I have to agree with Senator Rockefeller.
“We are paying for so many channels, though we only watch a few.”
Um, Fox News, ESPN, and whatever channel American Voice/Idol/Dancing/X Factor is on?
Hey!
Some of us need those exercise informercials! Porn ain't free, ya know!
Try Animal Planet.
That's for company.
I don't understand the thought behind the G4 Channel. Especially Tosh.0. People keep telling me how funny it is, but I can get the same thing from randomly surfing YouTube without the inane speaking.
Shine on, you crazy diamonds.
I have a compromise: Both Steny and Boehner jump in the Potomac. The one who stays underwater longest, wins. Loser has to resign from Congress.
~
Just remember Orange Julius Boner, there is no crying in math.
Went from the station, to Orange Julius,
I brought a hot dog from who? George Drakoulias.
~
I'd say there's a 3 in 5 chance that he pulled that estimate out of his ass.
I hope Eric Cantor didn't get a paper cut on his nose when he did.
Barb, you never struck me as an anti-semite.
I'm anti-asshole. I love my Jewish friends. They give the BEST Christmas gifts.
Pulled it out of his ass, squeezing it past Cantor's nose, which is up his ass.
"ROMA Data."
…. and there's 1-in-1 chance that John Boehner is a turd.
Our tax dollars at work. *thumps chest with pride*
USA! USA!
I say 1-7 that the republicans will have a 50-50 chance at a 9-6 shot.
"NEEEERRRRDS!" ~Ogre
Strangely, all I've heard thus far is one long, drawn out toilet flush…
I don't even have a TV, so I get nothing.
I don't pay for teevee. HD digital broadcast is awesome (and free).
For everything else, there's Netflix and/or your local public library's DVD collection.
But "we" "need" pay TV!!! We "need" it!
You are apparently NOT one of those poors that has everything. Get Directv and public assistance bud!
I'm more of an xbox/laptop guy myself. HDMI is rad.
I found out after buying my house that I had free cable (unblocked). I built a computer that encodes the signal so I can haz DVR. Then Netflix fills in the gaps of my sedentary, hermit, spiteful life"style".
Agreed on HD broadcast being awesome. People that occasionally come to my hovel remark on how awesome my picture looks, and I know they should NOT be impressed since they pay a hundo a month on Dish/DirecTV and have the latest/greatest teevees…
Wasserman Schultz could whip Boehner in tether ball.
Borange can keep the damned House as long as I can finally have a la carte cable pricing. Yes, I know I am part of the problem.
Hustler Channel or GTFO!
I bet if we were all job creators we could have a la carte cable in a snap!
I only watch one channel. You see I gave the cable guy a Franklin to get me the Spice Channel, which I find easy to masterbate to, for free.
Can you bring your box over to Eve's party later tonight? Free gin, free condoms! Be a shame to let those condoms go to waste
"your box"
heh heh
Congress is a Meckel's divirticulum: an ulcerous sack, usually full of of poop, that grows on the intestines and causes painless rectal bleeding.
I am curious to know which channels this particular Sen. Rockerfeller watches.
Well, I'd say there's pretty much a 100% chance that they are both fucknuggets not worth two seconds of my time.
The Cable TV Is Too Damn High Party
Needs work
Who cares what the GOP odds are. What's Done Talking going to leave at the gate in the derby?
How many fifths are there in John Boehner?
If blah folks are 3/5ths, then orange folks are divided into sections. I'll go with 2/5ths.
One before noon.
Well, probably one of Maker's Mark, another of Bombay, still another of Stoli …
You, sir, are a steely-eyed missile man. Win.
All of them, Katie. Any that's put in front of him.
WIN
Let's see…a fifth of vodka, a fifth of gin, a fifth of bourbon, a fifth of….
I'd say there's a one in two chance that we'll get buttfucked after November and a one in two chance that we get skullfucked.
Takers?
I already have.
U mad,
Brocow?You know, the last time this happened the Japanese stopped taking our beef in case it was tainted. And just to further the grudge, they are sending nuclear waste in the Japanese current to our West Coast. This new case of BSE is only going to irritate them further.
Wouldn't it be easier to say there's a
33.3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333% chance?
Excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me, Mr Spock! You and your "precision"….
Needs more 3's.
There were. Stupid wonkett bitch cut me off.
You mean 0.‾3? Because fractions are segments of one. A percentage is a segment of 100.
As long as the job creators get to keep their piece of the π.
Any tots get mashed?
Remember, any statistical calculation from the Right must assume a baseline 135% voting population.
But we can all agree giving more tax breaks to the rich will solve everything, right? Then who needs math?
Percentage à l'Orange. You'd think Boehner'd work harder to ensure the odds were in his flavor.
I'd go with Boehner's numbers, since they're magical. That guy's got numbers that'll cut taxes, increase military spending and reduce the deficit. With numbers like that, how can you go wrong?
All I know is that 86.7% of all statistics cited on the Internet are made up on the spot.
But, I really am an astronaut.
Still funny – after all these years.
Five out of four pie charts shown on Fox News don't add up to 100%
This War On Odds is purely a political stunt.
I only want to pay for the channels that show my soaps.
So I bought a .44 magnum, it was solid steel cast
And in the blessed name of Elvis well I just let it blast
'Til my TV lay in pieces there at my feet
And they busted me for disturbin' the almighty peace
Judge said "What you got in your defense son?"
"Fifty-seven channels and nothin' on"
~ Da Bruce
TV prices must be bad if a Rockefeller is complaining.
Nancy Pelosi [(D-Calif.)] would never have suggested there was a possibility we would lose
Maybe if she had, the Democrats might have been inspired to come up with, I don't know, some sort of strategy for not getting blown-out last election?
redistricting, a nicer name for gerrymandering, a nicer name for stealing elections …
“How rare is it for a Speaker to suggest — I can tell you that [former Speaker] Nancy Pelosi [(D-Calif.)] would never have suggested there was a possibility we would lose,” Wasserman Schultz said.
Don't leave us hanging, Debs! Tell us more victory secrets from Nancy Pelosi.
I propose a shirts and skins smack down between the republicans and the democrats
"Oh good. Nice to see Homer Simpson’s petitions to Congress finally got through."
Donuts for everyone!
How good are you all at dumbing yourselves down? 'Cause when the time of Idiocracy comes around, Snarky-Americans will be the first casualties.
What he said is wrong. FIXED!
Rule of thumb: If a Republican said it, it's wrong…
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