FAIL  5:10 pm April 23, 2012

Newt Gingrich Fails Even To Get .Com Address For ‘ObamaFailures.net’

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Bamz haz sad

Gypsy grifter Newt Gingrich is not done having Big Ideas, like his latest, putting up a MEAN website about one President Disgraceful, in which Ol’ Bamz over there looks down with sadness on his miserable failure of a presidency. Like this nifty chart (pictured!), which shows how once, for about a week, gas, like freedom, cost a buck oh five, mostly because nobody was driving to work at their factory jobs because they had no jobs and no factories. And now that gas is the same as it pretty much has been (excepting that one flukey height-of-the-recession week), Newton is explaining to everybody that blahblahblah nobody cares it is all childish make-believe nonsense. ALGAE! NOM NOM NOM!

Anyhoo, Newton had to get his embarrassing “.net” website because he could not get ObamaFailures.com because it is already registered to this guy, and he must have known about Newt’s problems with check-kiting and must have asked Newt for cash up front before he would sign it over. (The obamafailures.com is blank, by the way.) If Newt Gingrich would just legally change his name to “Obama Failures,” he would have a pretty good case to bring for cybersquatting. [ObamaFailures.net]

 
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{ 153 comments }

GOPCrusher April 23, 2012 at 5:14 pm

Seriously?
He's going to try to pin the blame of gas prices rising on the fact that the Keystone Pipeline was rejected?
And now gas prices are going back down on a daily basis here in the Midwest, what is he going to blame that on?

MissTaken April 23, 2012 at 5:19 pm

what is he going to blame that on?

That Americans think there will be a GOP President next year?

anniegetyerfun April 23, 2012 at 5:21 pm

Black people buying too much of the gasoline?

Negropolis April 24, 2012 at 1:34 am

Those gas-guzzling welfare, Cadillac queens. I knew it all along!

Jus_Wonderin April 23, 2012 at 5:26 pm

Oh, I bet he will say it is a misprint. "Ass prices are going up and BO is to blame."

sullivanst April 23, 2012 at 5:42 pm

Ass prices should be at rock bottom given the enormous oversupply…

Jus_Wonderin April 23, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Well, that has to be because of the BigAss lobby. Figures.

sullivanst April 23, 2012 at 5:54 pm

Those guys are ubiquitous. In Washington, everywhere you look, you see a big-ass lobby.

iburl April 23, 2012 at 5:30 pm

Yes, because if they'd approved the pipeline, OPEC would have said "Oh noes, It's XL!! let's lower our prices immediately!!"

Generation[redacted] April 23, 2012 at 5:56 pm

If you look at the chart, you can see the line doesn't even start until the keystone decision. Makes sense to me! Does it to you?

Man0nTheStreet April 23, 2012 at 6:19 pm

The 2007-2011 period is irrelevant errata twisted by the liberal media…

kissawookiee April 23, 2012 at 6:15 pm

He's not going to blame it on anybody. He will, however, blame Obama for taking away the livelihoods of mom 'n' pop gasoline vendors by artificially lowering gas prices, because communism.

Mahousu April 23, 2012 at 6:20 pm

Obama is such a failure he even fails at failing.

rocktonsam April 23, 2012 at 6:23 pm

Keystone Beer

Warwhatgoodfor April 23, 2012 at 7:35 pm

OMG! I used to drink that crap! It was so bad that I once sent a simple off for lab analysis. The report came back: your horse has diabetes.

Radiotherapy April 23, 2012 at 6:36 pm

Obama is stoking the fires of Gas Warfare.

Negropolis April 24, 2012 at 1:35 am

No one truly knows the horrors of Gas Warfare until they've been on the tail-end of a Gingrich fart. Many a brave man and woman was lost in those Gas Wars.

mormos April 23, 2012 at 5:14 pm

I'm so sick of this gas prices shit. yes, gas prices were low in 2009. what were they in 2008 again? or 2007? or 2006? 'cause I remember $5 a gallon gas while bush was still pres.

Generation[redacted] April 23, 2012 at 6:31 pm

And I remember thinking, "Gee, I'd better start adapting to high gas prices in case they go up again" around that same time.

Ayn Rand Paul Tard April 23, 2012 at 7:07 pm

Well, I seem to remember Obama being president that week. Or causing it retroactively or something. Either way: NOBAMA! Bush 2012!!11!

Butch_Wagstaff April 23, 2012 at 10:01 pm

He wasn't Prez then. But he used his Kenyan Muslim Voodoo to raise prices just like he does now.

Biff April 23, 2012 at 8:55 pm

This year, I haven't seen it even as expensive as it was in 2005. That's the year I bought a diesel-powered pickup, so naturally that was the year cheney's diabolical plans came to fruition.

Naked_Bunny April 23, 2012 at 10:28 pm

The price of gas did drop pretty far when the economy collapsed during the Bush Administration. I guess that's what they're aiming for again?

SayItWithWookies April 23, 2012 at 5:15 pm

When is Newt gonna take advantage of the newly available .fraud domain name?

Beowoof April 23, 2012 at 5:35 pm

I was thinking Newt would be after the .XXX, to find a wife to replace Callista.

Radiotherapy April 23, 2012 at 5:50 pm

I might click ObamaFailures.xxx. If you know what I mean.

AlterNewt April 23, 2012 at 5:15 pm

Who?

Schmannnity April 23, 2012 at 5:16 pm

And yet, DeBeers is up 50% last year. Thanks Newt!
http://www.guardian.co.uk/business/2012/feb/10/de

littlebigdaddy April 23, 2012 at 5:16 pm

DO WHAT I DO DUMBASS: BIKE TO WORK!

weejee April 23, 2012 at 5:20 pm

Or like lucky me, walk.

Butch_Wagstaff April 23, 2012 at 10:18 pm

My domestic partner-unit literally has only to walk across the alley behind our house to get to his current place of work. He's been saving over $200 a month because he doesn't have the commute he had at his previous job.
Of course, the best is being able to work right at home, which is what I currently do. I don't have to even bathe or shave!
*sniffs* What's that smell?
Guess it's time to launder my PJs.

Butch_Wagstaff April 23, 2012 at 10:32 pm

"My domestic partner-unit literally has only to walk across the alley behind our house to get to his current place of work."

Gawd, I just realized how that sounds. No, his line or work doesn't involve sex worker-type stuff. He works at a funeral home so I hope the hell it doesn't involve sex.

Naked_Bunny April 23, 2012 at 10:32 pm

Just leave them on the floor.

MissTaken April 23, 2012 at 5:24 pm

I ride the liberal, elitest subway to work. On weekends I drive my 12 year old Civic that gets 34 mpg to the Whole Foods. I'm such a pile of scum.

GhostBuggy April 23, 2012 at 5:46 pm

Why, you're worse than Hitler.

starfanglednut April 23, 2012 at 5:53 pm

Well, you use contraception, so you're evil.

Warwhatgoodfor April 23, 2012 at 7:36 pm

That was you I waved at? Hot.

sewollef April 24, 2012 at 9:04 am

That's so funny, I too ride the liberal elitist subway to work.

I'm guessing the homeless that occasionally clear certain cars on my N-Train must also be liberals. And elitists.

They just have that dishevelled look that's so hip in the East Village these days.

SkinnyNerd April 23, 2012 at 5:16 pm

I hope someone registers newtfailures.com and places this Wonkette post as the first post there.

Jus_Wonderin April 23, 2012 at 5:27 pm

newtsfailures.com IS available.

EDIT: so is newtfailures.com………..

i_AM_ready April 23, 2012 at 5:16 pm

# 1 failure is "Zero Budgets Passed."
Gee, that's hardly wonky at all. People will really get behind an issue like that.

sullivanst April 23, 2012 at 5:26 pm

If you're wonky enough to get behind an issue like that, you're probably also wonky enough to know that Newt's assertion is a complete and utter fucking lie.

i_AM_ready April 23, 2012 at 7:02 pm

Exactly. First place, the President doesn't "pass" a budget; Congress does. And the government hasn't been shutting down, so that means Congress has been passing budgets. And budgets are never exactly what the President proposed, they're always a mix of what the President proposed and what Congress wants. Which is exactly what has been happening with Obama. As you say, 100% BS, and Newt knows it. He's a fat moron who was denied tenure by a roadside college in Georgia, and that's what passes for an "intellectual" in today's Republicrat party.

sullivanst April 23, 2012 at 7:33 pm

Bah. My first attempt at a reply must've included a word on the censor's list of doom. Pretty sure I mentioned no part of the firing mechanism of a gun, so I have no idea what it was.

Anyway… Congress can pass a budget but fail to pass appropriations bills, which would force a shutdown. Conversely, Congress can fail to pass a budget resolution but continue appropriating within limits laid out in the last budget that did pass, which will not force a shutdown – this is what's been happening during the infamous 1,000-something days of lame talking points. While the Senate hasn't passed a budget resolution since 2010, it did pass the Budget Control Act of 2011, which does everything a budget would do, except any attempt by Congress to override it would face the President's veto power, which a normal budget wouldn't. So, there's that.

According to the Congressional Research Service, in both 2009 and 2010, the Senate-originated budget resolution and its House companion measure passed both chambers. So that's four budget resolutions that have been passed while Obama's President, plus the Budget Control Act. That means that Newt is telling wholesale, easily and objectively provable lies. Because he's a big fat liar.

PS. I think I worked out what my naughty word was: the compound of "out" and the opposite of left. Silly censor.

Radiotherapy April 23, 2012 at 6:37 pm

What does that even mean? Srsly.

fartknocker April 23, 2012 at 5:16 pm

Where is the graph showing Newt’s logarithmic decline after everyone learned about his $1.6 million Fannie Mae & Freddie gig and his $500,000 credit line at Tiffany’s?

anniegetyerfun April 23, 2012 at 5:22 pm

I'm not sure that you can graph a line that is already so far in the negative to begin with. You end up receding into a place that math can't go.

Like Newt's wang.

Sir_Fartz_Alot April 24, 2012 at 7:02 am

for that he's got the trans-va-jay-jay calculator

Radiotherapy April 23, 2012 at 5:35 pm

It was the dial up internet era when Newt had been already thoroughly discredited.

Terry April 23, 2012 at 5:17 pm

There are lots of events from January 2012 that you could plot on that graph to imply a causal relationship. Bachmann left the primary race on January 4th. Clearly, the suspension of her campaign resulted in the increase in gas prices.

mavenmaven April 23, 2012 at 5:18 pm

"NewtFailures" would be a Viagra site.

Nostrildamus April 23, 2012 at 5:56 pm

Actually, pretty much any news station these days.

Generation[redacted] April 23, 2012 at 6:55 pm

Or his online checking account.

smitallica April 23, 2012 at 5:18 pm

Newt had to settle on ObamaFailures.net because his first two choices, ObamaFailures.com and IAmAFuckingLyingPhilanderingAssholeWithNoChanceofBeingPresidentEver
InABillionYearsBecauseEveryoneHatesMyCorruptPudgyAss.com
were already taken.

EtchySketchy April 23, 2012 at 5:18 pm

It's not all failures from Obama, Newt. His "unleash the penguins" program did quite well.

Steverino247 April 23, 2012 at 6:17 pm

The Kraken was busy with the Greek economy…

bagofmice April 23, 2012 at 6:35 pm

I am envisioning commissioner Gordon saying "release the penguin!".

Schmannnity April 23, 2012 at 5:18 pm

I am wondering if Romney, Santorum, Gingrich, Bachmann, and Cain calling for an invasion of Iran has a positive effect on gas prices?

anniegetyerfun April 23, 2012 at 5:24 pm

Well, if you can't improve gas prices, the least you can do is cause a massive, simultaneous erection among your war-mongering voters.

Man0nTheStreet April 23, 2012 at 6:23 pm

Only if you hold Futures Contracts!

EtchySketchy April 23, 2012 at 5:20 pm

They have internets on the moon?

MissTaken April 23, 2012 at 5:21 pm

I bet there's oil in the moon. And Newt is so smart he could get it for us.

SkinnyNerd April 23, 2012 at 5:30 pm

I bet there is oil in the Newt. And the moon is so smart it could get it for us.*

*You know with gravitational pull and all.

GhostBuggy April 23, 2012 at 5:47 pm

I'd be willing to pay higher taxes to develop a rocket to send Newt there and get it.

sullivanst April 23, 2012 at 5:55 pm

As long as he promises not to come back until he's extracted at least 1 million bbl.

iburl April 23, 2012 at 6:57 pm

He's excreted 1 million nonsensical babbles, does that count?

sullivanst April 23, 2012 at 7:01 pm

Light, sweet crude or GSTFO.

Giveusabob April 23, 2012 at 7:16 pm

Could I just pay the AMT and not deduct anything, if that means said rocket lacks the ability to return? Seems a fair compromise.

stopthemovie April 23, 2012 at 5:59 pm

Just think of the jobs he would create building that pipeline!

Warwhatgoodfor April 23, 2012 at 7:42 pm

Don't have to go to all that trouble. Harpoon him, strip the blubber, render him down in a big pot. Good for ten barrels at least. Let's see, at $100+ per barrel, whoa, that's a grand. Might pay some of that back rent in Minnesota. Problem solved.

GhostBuggy April 24, 2012 at 10:31 am

Problem is, Tiffany's has first claim to that cash.

SorosBot April 23, 2012 at 5:25 pm

I bet it's Obama's fault that my internet connection was working badly last night and much of today too.

MissTaken April 23, 2012 at 5:26 pm

That's what happens when you spend all day on newtfailures.xxx

SorosBot April 23, 2012 at 5:33 pm

I just hope the only videos that come up when looking for "newt porn" just feature salamanders fucking.

Callyson April 23, 2012 at 5:38 pm

Got curious and checked–here's the first thing Google pulls:

How Newt Gingrich Saved Porn
In the 1990s, the speaker of the House fought against censorship of sexually explicit materials on the internet.
http://motherjones.com/politics/2011/12/how-newt-

At least back then, he knew how to please his constituents…

Schmannnity April 23, 2012 at 5:43 pm

Afraid not. From his website, Newt and his first wife. See below
http://www.blog.joelx.com/walrus-mating-at-seawor

Steverino247 April 23, 2012 at 6:24 pm

SB has too much meat for the Internet to handle when he's using an HD webcam, obviously.

BarackMyWorld April 23, 2012 at 5:27 pm

Didn't Fox News already debunk these president-causes-gas-prices myths?

Wait, forgot the rules of economics change when Democrats are in charge, like how unemployment rose more under Bush than Obama, or its not ok to blame 10% unemployment on the previous administration unless you're talking about Ronald Reagan.

Fuckers.

BarackMyWorld April 23, 2012 at 7:38 pm

That's impressive. I can even hear Hannity describing the chart in my head.

EtchySketchy April 23, 2012 at 5:28 pm

More auto-awesomeness from Newt "the car won't start unless you blow the driver" Gingrich.

Rotundo_ April 23, 2012 at 5:30 pm

Dang, Newt still has enough cash for a website? I thought he pissed it all away on jewelry and two toileted hotel suites and lame ass ads. He must've recieved a fresh check from some conservative sucker (oops!) I mean patriotic like-minded individual. I wonder if Callista will notice when the diamonds turn to cubic zirconia and the gold to gold flashing. She probably will, but has aged enough to stick with Newtie since there aren't a whole lot of people in the market for worn out mistresses.

sullivanst April 23, 2012 at 5:43 pm

Do we know whether the check to his ISP has cleared yet?

Pithaughn April 23, 2012 at 5:33 pm

Dear Newt,
If US oil production is inversely related to pump prices, why did the pump price drop throughout the 80's and 90's while domestic US production dropped also?
Love ,
Pith

MissTaken April 23, 2012 at 5:43 pm

Reagan, obv.

Man0nTheStreet April 23, 2012 at 6:26 pm

Mrs. Reagan using her Psykic Voodoo to hold the prices down…

Callyson April 23, 2012 at 5:35 pm

Come on, hackers, this is too good an opportunity to pass up…

Biel_ze_Bubba April 23, 2012 at 6:27 pm

Send Newt a video endorsement that invokes Poe's Law … chances are good it will make it into his next advertisement.

Pithaughn April 23, 2012 at 5:37 pm

Also, wouldn't it there fore make strategic sense to produce domestic energy by any means? A kilowatt is a kilowatt my friend. My small household electrical appliances will not discriminate based on where the electrons are generated; the toast still gets deliciously crispy, the margarita still magically turns into an elixir that renders me helpless and the still still drips moonshine into the recycled milk jug.

GhostBuggy April 23, 2012 at 5:49 pm

Can I move in with you?

MissTaken April 23, 2012 at 5:42 pm

There are TWENTY people who donated $10 to Newt. That is 25 more than I originally guessed.
http://www.obamafailures.net/wall/

SorosBot April 23, 2012 at 5:56 pm

Why they can get four photos of Newt with that money!

Jus_Wonderin April 23, 2012 at 5:43 pm

I signed up. Jism Splooge at jism@gmail.com.

MissTaken April 23, 2012 at 5:57 pm

SorosBot just signed up as Truk Nutz. He's very excited.

Radiotherapy April 23, 2012 at 6:32 pm
Dudleydidwrong April 23, 2012 at 10:15 pm

Rancid Cuntlapper is on board: RCLapper@yahoo.com

Fukui-sanYesOta April 23, 2012 at 11:10 pm

Tiffany Hordiamonds is on the Newt Bandwagon!

criminogenic April 24, 2012 at 2:11 am

penguins suck, penguinsuck2@gmail.com

FakaktaSouth April 23, 2012 at 5:49 pm

On this the date of Shakespeare's death, I would like to present a quote from the Tempest –
"He that dies, pays all debts."

Just think about it Newt

fuflans April 23, 2012 at 9:04 pm

me i think: 'rudesby be gone' works quite well.

V572 Fehrnstrom April 23, 2012 at 5:54 pm

So the holder of the domain name is Demos Chrissos, "people of Christ" apparently, and according to the LinkedIn description, he is a "hands-on audio/video editor." How does that work? Does he move the atoms of iron or silicon around on the disks or tapes with his hands somehow? Does he have very good eyesight and very tiny hands?

This is the real news in this post, I think.

sullivanst April 23, 2012 at 5:57 pm

Hey, he never said what his hands were on. There's an awful lot of hands-on video "editors" on the internet.

not that Dewey April 23, 2012 at 6:03 pm

"Very few cartoons actually go out live, Homer. It's a terrible strain on the animators' wrists."

anniegetyerfun April 23, 2012 at 5:55 pm

It could have been much worse – he could have gone for a .org address like some fucking communist.

Nostrildamus April 23, 2012 at 5:58 pm

Enough about Newt's squatting, cyber or otherwise!

Callyson April 23, 2012 at 6:00 pm

OT alert from Yahoo! News:

Bill Lee, the Sanford, Fla., police chief who last month left his post temporarily amid criticism of his handling of the Trayvon Martin case, plans to step down permanently, according to CNN.

Don't let the door hit you on the way out, asshole…

Man0nTheStreet April 23, 2012 at 6:28 pm

"Chief Lee, you have a call from the Romney 2012 Campaign…"

horsedreamer_1 April 23, 2012 at 7:34 pm

Bill the Chief is the new Samuel Wurzelbacher.

MissTaken April 23, 2012 at 6:29 pm

But the city manager or whatever refused his resignation. Ugh.

Callyson April 23, 2012 at 6:34 pm

Le sigh…

Man0nTheStreet April 23, 2012 at 9:54 pm

What are the details? Did he ask for fat pensions or other generous perks?

Negropolis April 24, 2012 at 1:47 am

Apparently, the mayor, who'd earlier voted for a motion of no confidence against him, flipped. Asshole. They can either pay, today, or they can pay with their own jobs, tomorrow. Looks like they chose the latter. So be it.

Whatever side of the issue you're on, it should be obvious that one of the things that we know for sure is that the police chief comically botched the investigation. This was a softball they should have hit out of the park.

rickmaci April 23, 2012 at 6:18 pm

Newt, you managed to whore us for an excess five minutes of attention but now your time really is up. So I will tell you nicely. GTFO. Peace.

Steverino247 April 23, 2012 at 6:18 pm

But in other news, the chocolate ration has increased from 20 to 25 grams per week. Doubleplusgood!

Biel_ze_Bubba April 23, 2012 at 6:23 pm

"The Center for Health Transformation, a health care think tank established by Newt Gingrich, has filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy. The center has liabilities between $1 million and $10 million to from 50 and 99 creditors, according to federal court filings."

Does anybody know how many millions of dollars in obligations the "Party of Personal Responsibility" and it's so-called "leaders" have welshed on?

Generation[redacted] April 23, 2012 at 6:34 pm

Corporations are people, my friend. Until they go bankrupt. Then they magically dissolve leaving no trace of responsibility.

sullivanst April 23, 2012 at 6:44 pm

If corporations are people, isn't owning shares prohibited by the 13th Amendment?

horsedreamer_1 April 23, 2012 at 7:36 pm

This is how the Terminator series begins. Corporate autonomy. But we still have time to stop it.

Or, how I learned to stop worrying & love Dred Scott.

Man0nTheStreet April 23, 2012 at 6:25 pm

Well, NASA *is* one of those bloated socialist librul gubmit-czar agencies…

jesus_vs_gojira April 23, 2012 at 6:32 pm

And climate science is such a lucrative scam. Not like having to scrape by as a Fannie Mae advisor.

Negropolis April 24, 2012 at 1:41 am

And then they blame the president for scrapping publically-funded shuttle missions to the ISS.

ElPinche April 23, 2012 at 6:27 pm

Who is thine behemoth fecal cauldron of which ye speaketh of? I thoughteth ye fat fuck was slained by thee Bullion Prince of Mormon Currency? I art confused as Fuck, my lady!

Biel_ze_Bubba April 23, 2012 at 6:32 pm

It goes beyond "believing." I showed this to a teabagger acquaintance: http://www.skepticalscience.com/images/Milankovit
and he insists there's "no correlation."

These fuckwits are willingly blind to reality. And yet, we let them vote.

Sir_Fartz_Alot April 24, 2012 at 7:12 am

charts and numbers make my head hurt

Biel_ze_Bubba April 25, 2012 at 5:20 pm

Or it's the left-leaning thermometer people conspiring with the socialist fever industry to make you think you're getting warm. Plus, I heard on Faux News that that Al Gore took aspirin once … what more proof do you need?

owhatever April 23, 2012 at 6:37 pm

Shirley, he jests.

BaldarTFlagass April 23, 2012 at 6:39 pm

I'll bet that site has already had 4 or 5 million hits, from all his Twitter followers.

Radiotherapy April 23, 2012 at 6:44 pm

I get nausea when I think of Newt and gas.

Monsieur_Grumpe April 23, 2012 at 7:30 pm

Judging from the shit that comes out of his mouth his asshole's output must be incredibly foul and disgusting.

Come here a minute April 23, 2012 at 6:50 pm

If Newt did any kind of squatting he would need a large crew to get back up.

TheGyrus April 23, 2012 at 7:12 pm

Only Newt can provide the bold vision that will lead us back to the economic conditions of January, 2009!

Monsieur_Grumpe April 23, 2012 at 7:17 pm

Is SendNewtToTheMoonOneWay.com taken?

mrblifil April 23, 2012 at 7:29 pm

I don't like the way that arrow is aiming right for Bamz's head. I would suggest getting Secret Service involved, but I think Newt's been the one lining them up with cheap whores.

chascates April 23, 2012 at 8:20 pm

He will go away (for a while) after Tampa, right?

iburl April 23, 2012 at 9:34 pm

If, by "away", you mean, national book tour and international whore diamond shopping blitz, yes.

Butch_Wagstaff April 23, 2012 at 9:45 pm

He'll sign a book for $50.

fuflans April 23, 2012 at 9:14 pm

well, he may be OBAMA FAIL but to me he is still so fine.

also newt is just a fat haz been with an ego bigger than his rotund mid section.

Butch_Wagstaff April 23, 2012 at 9:50 pm

So he revolves in orbit around his own ego? I always thought it vice versa.

commiebro April 23, 2012 at 9:19 pm
Butch_Wagstaff April 23, 2012 at 9:47 pm

My fav is: human set of deflated bagpipes.

commiebro April 24, 2012 at 5:26 pm

Yeah, that's pretty good. Personally I'm split between "whiny-ass titty-baby" and "amoral chocolate-sucking anus". They're all quite apt, though, and one hundred percent culled from these pages.

Butch_Wagstaff April 23, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Someone has already signed up with the address: newtsnextwife@aol.com.

BZ1 April 23, 2012 at 9:50 pm

trust anybody named: " Demos Chrissos"?

Man0nTheStreet April 23, 2012 at 9:56 pm

Jesus Christ no!

Troglodeity April 23, 2012 at 10:41 pm

I hope that graphic artist got paid in advance. Newt can barely afford the fee for a GoDaddy .net site by now.

ttommyunger April 23, 2012 at 11:03 pm

I can't take any man seriously who has to stand on a mirror to see his dick.

Negropolis April 24, 2012 at 1:50 am

A, yes. Let us go back to the January 2009. Times were so simple, then. When you were asked "soup or salad", it was because you were at the food pantry.

DahBoner April 24, 2012 at 8:32 am

Got Gas?

//Newtie lets out a Silent But Deadly

misanthrope April 24, 2012 at 11:10 pm

In what the fuck hillbilly hellhole was gas $1.92 in 2009?!?!?!? Is this why people live in the south?!

sullivanst April 23, 2012 at 7:50 pm

I do not actually know if Newt hates Falco.

Whuuu??? This means nothing to me…

MosesInvests April 23, 2012 at 11:13 pm

Alle ist klar, Herr Kommissar?

fuflans April 23, 2012 at 9:02 pm

well, the falco i know means you are likely a baby and missed the wonders of 'der kommissar' and 'rock me amadeus'.

full disclosure i love falco.

Butch_Wagstaff April 23, 2012 at 9:58 pm

RIP Falco, the first Viennese rapper.

sullivanst April 24, 2012 at 8:38 am

OK seriously faulty memory of the 80s and lazy googling on my part resulted in a Vienna / Vienna Calling conflation. Falco is not Ultravox and I shall now slink away in shame.

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