AS USUAL  7:15 pm April 23, 2012

Orly Taitz Losing Senate Race, GOP Racism Against White People to Blame

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

John Kennedy Toole won a Pulitzer and she's still being passed over?

Here is a very important regional political update that you will not want to miss: famous dingbat and U.S. Senate candidate Orly Taitz has been snubbed for the endorsement of the California Republican Assembly. Orly Taitz has considered all the reasons why this might be the case, and Republican racism against white people is the obvious culprit. This mostly irrelevant wingnut endorsement has gone to some guy “Al Ramirez,” see. So let Orly Taitz, speaker of Spanish, go ahead and translate the taco talk for you: “Ramirez” is a Hispanic name. CONSPIRACY.

Here is a lovely excerpt from her latest short fiction blog entry starring white-hating racist supervillains Karl Rove and a dude named Steve:

Going back to [California Republican Party] and [California Republican Assembly], the party bosses running the show in both organizations are largely dependent on the marching orders from the “Architect”, Karl Rove.

Rove typically speaks from both sides of his mouth. While he encouraged me, when I saw him last time at the Jewish -Republican coalition meeting, he is giving directives to the party bosses to promote different candidates: more obedient, non-controversial women and Hispanics. Following those directives CRP 24 member board decided to support another woman, who is unknown, but non controversial.

Following the paradigm of the “Architect” it seemed the board and particularly Steve Frank wwere pushing for a Hispanic Al Ramirez. It did not matter, whether my Spanish was as good as his. They wanted a Spanish name on the ballot. There is probably a smart way of doing things and a stupid way. Steve Frank is an embodiment of a stupid way.

Two years ago I got e-mails that were sent by Steve Frank. At that time the Republican party was pushing another minority candidate, a black candidate, the only black candidate running for the state wide office, Damon Dunn, who ran against me for the Secretary of State. Never mind that Dunn knew about the work of Sec of State and elections as much as I know about the Space travel, the party wanted one black face on their slate in order to attract minority votes. So, Steve Frank wrote e-mails to everybody, telling people not to vote for Orly Taitz because she will be in prison in a few months because she is going after Obama.

The Space travel! So Orly Taitz was just Newt Gingrich in a bad wig and a girdle all along, go figure. [OC Register]

 
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{ 218 comments }

Mumbletypeg April 23, 2012 at 7:23 pm

Why is Orly continually trying out for participation in races wherein no one would have her as a member? Starting, and ending, with the human race?

Barb April 23, 2012 at 7:25 pm

I want to see her long form high school diploma.

flamingpdog April 23, 2012 at 7:56 pm

I want to see her dental x-rays so we can get an idea how many of the voices she hears are from her brain and how many are from the radio transmitters in her fillings.

Veritas78 April 23, 2012 at 8:02 pm

Okay, but don't smudge the crayon.

Biff April 23, 2012 at 8:28 pm

Who knew there were mail-order high school diploma mills?

Man0nTheStreet April 23, 2012 at 10:01 pm

The KGB produces a wide and impressive array of American documents.

Limeylizzie April 23, 2012 at 8:41 pm

ot, but re. your tweet about Jon Lovitz. I worked with him for several weeks and he was a gigantic prick, completely self-absorbed and a womaniser, so I ignore anything that creep might have to say about anyone.

Barb April 23, 2012 at 8:52 pm

Hey, sis. I sometimes talk about an ex-friend I had who was best friends with Ann Coulter. His other best friend is Jon. Seriously, they would send Obama e-mail of the worst sort and I prayed that one day one of them would hit "reply all" so I could publish it.

Jon used to be the voice of the M&M in the TV ads. They dumped his ass when he started acting like he was God.

I dumped my friend, changed my email address, yanked out my home phone, changed cell phone numbers, had IT block calls from him to Jeff and walked away from the negative hate.

One email photo was so horrible that I actually fainted. It was racist, bloody and the worst thing in the world. I stood up, swooned and hit my head on the metal edge of my glass desk. Never again!

FlownOver April 24, 2012 at 10:01 am

Maybe he was just –

ACTING!

Limeylizzie April 24, 2012 at 10:05 am

Nope, I got to know him socially, he was a dick of the first magnitude.

Doktor StrangeZoom April 23, 2012 at 8:50 pm

I want to see her Voight-Kampff test.

Man0nTheStreet April 23, 2012 at 10:08 pm

Here's mine… http://www.okcupid.com/quizzy/results?quizzyid=50

…now let me tell you about my mother…

Radiotherapy April 23, 2012 at 7:25 pm

So Taints is doing black face now??!?

iburl April 23, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Oh, 'Bammy! How I loathe you, how I loathe you. 'BAMMY!

GemlikeFlame April 23, 2012 at 7:25 pm

Poor Karl. Doesn't have much to work with this time 'round, does he?

BerkeleyBear April 23, 2012 at 10:49 pm

200 million in essentially unmarked bills. Didn't cost him that much to steal W the White House twice. I'm very afraid of the crapfest Rove will create, despite (or maybe because) the GOP candidates in general are either fired up nutbags (Walsh, Oily, the folks primarying Lugar and Hatch, etc.) or bland as school paste white men like Romney.

Negropolis April 24, 2012 at 1:00 am

Still, it was much easier when his crazies at least pretended to be respectable citizens. Surely, $200 million can put a lot of lipstick on a pig, but Americans do have their limits.

OneYieldRegular April 23, 2012 at 7:26 pm

This is a catastrophic slip, Orly. You've violated Rule Number One of the organization, which is NEVER to talk publicly about the Space travel. Your mothership uploading privileges are hereby revoked until further notice from Commander Major Tom.

salt_bagel April 23, 2012 at 10:02 pm

She thinks her spaceship knows which way to go.

AlterNewt April 23, 2012 at 7:26 pm

I want her to win. Is that wrong?

Lionel[redacted]Esq April 23, 2012 at 7:30 pm

The Republican nomination? No.

The race? Yes.

Callyson April 23, 2012 at 7:37 pm

We know, Senator Feinstein, we know…

not that Dewey April 23, 2012 at 8:55 pm
flamingpdog April 23, 2012 at 11:37 pm

"Reminds me of when Lindsey Graham was elected in South Carolina. Everyone thought it would be hilarious".

not that Dewey April 24, 2012 at 12:14 am

"It might kill us, but if it does, we'll end up with a lot of crazy-ass photos."

Negropolis April 24, 2012 at 1:03 am

Only if it's for reasons other than dark humor.

AlterNewt April 24, 2012 at 1:19 am

Dark humor, morbid curiosity, and reckless despair.

Cheers.

msrhpvt April 24, 2012 at 9:25 am

In VT we had Fred Tuttle, an elderly dairy farmer who starred in a movie called 'Man with a Plan" about an old VT farmer who runs for congress because the pay seems real good and you don't have to work too hard. In a publicity stunt for the movie he ran in the republican primary to oppose Leahey in the senate race – and won the nomination! He then endorsed Leahey out of fear he might actually beat him.

actor212 April 24, 2012 at 9:53 am

She needs to change her name to Orly Ramirez, apparently. Or Taitzuente

Lionel[redacted]Esq April 23, 2012 at 7:27 pm

Never mind that Dunn knew about the work of Sec of State and elections as much as I know about the Space travel,

If that is true, he must have been highly qualified.

the party wanted one black face

I have found that most parties are better with at least one black face.

EdFlintstone April 23, 2012 at 7:29 pm

Some other dentist needs to fill that cavity between her ears.

Callyson April 23, 2012 at 7:37 pm

I don't think anything that goes into that vortex would survive…

weejee April 23, 2012 at 7:40 pm

Do you think she's already ODed on mercury from filling amalgams? That she's a dental equivalent of the mercury addled Mad Hatter?

Angry_Marmot April 23, 2012 at 10:10 pm

That really would be yodeling in the canyon.

Fukui-sanYesOta April 23, 2012 at 10:37 pm

WITH SKULLFUCKING!!!!!!!

sewollef April 24, 2012 at 8:44 am

"Some other dentist needs to fill that cavity between her ears."

Portland cement?

Worked for gentlemen who had disagreements with family members in Noo Yawk, I believe. The Verrazano is a very nice bridge by the way.

Lionel[redacted]Esq April 23, 2012 at 7:29 pm

She should demand Mr. Ramirez's long form birth certificate and green card. That should put a stop to Rove's cheating.

Slim_Pickins April 23, 2012 at 11:00 pm

Ramirez has probably been in the country longer than she has.

Terry April 24, 2012 at 9:43 am

Has anyone seen HER green card and long form birth certificate?

SmutBoffin April 23, 2012 at 7:31 pm

"Never mind that Dunn knew about the work of Sec of State and elections as much as I know about the Space travel…"

"…which is really impossible anyway since you can't get that close to God or He will shoot you with his laser eyes and the moon landing was faked by JFK (an Argentinean by birth LOOK IT UP) and the rest of NASA's Kenyan document forgers in the sound stage where Anne Dunham Soweto was impregnated with reptiloid genetic majick."

(collapses)

sullivanst April 23, 2012 at 7:47 pm

Note that Orly never claimed to know even that much about the work of Sec. State. herself.

Jukesgrrl April 23, 2012 at 11:47 pm

That's how Arizona got Jan Brewer. The GOP bosses said, "She's been so loyal. She's carried our water for years. Let's run her as Secretary of State. What harm could it do?"

emmelemm April 23, 2012 at 8:33 pm

(an Argentinean by birth LOOK IT UP)

Wait, what? I'm actually tempted to look it up.

Doktor StrangeZoom April 23, 2012 at 8:43 pm

You forgot HAARP and Chemtrails, but otherwise, very nice.

.72 Timecubes to you

FraAnima April 23, 2012 at 10:21 pm

A smattering of applause from the gathered wonkettes.

flamingpdog April 23, 2012 at 11:39 pm

Which one of my Facebook friends are you, SB?

bumfug April 23, 2012 at 7:31 pm

"They're all against me! Them, them with their sanity and non-drooling ways!"

DerrickWildcat April 23, 2012 at 7:33 pm

HAIR LIBEL!

Callyson April 23, 2012 at 7:36 pm

For those of you who are not CA voters, her candidate statement is a riot:

You deserve the truth, respect and answers: why Barack Obama is using a Connecticut Social Security number, which was never assigned to him according to E-verify, why his alleged copy of a birth certificate is deemed to be a computer generated forgery, why his school records show him as an Indonesian citizen and many others. If you want your government accountable to you, vote Orly Taitz!
http://www.orlytaitzesq.com/?page_id=32873

Right now, I can't tell if that's Senator Feinstein's howls of laughter I am hearing, or my own…

sullivanst April 23, 2012 at 7:46 pm

Haha "deemed to be" – by Orly, Joseph Farah, Joe Ohhellno, and a bunch of other even less intelligent knuckledraggers.

Whereas even Fuck Snooze declare it authentic. Why is Fox so racist against white people? Whyyyyyyyyyyyy??!!!?!1!

Biff April 23, 2012 at 8:33 pm

You left out the short-fingered vulgarian himself, known hairpiece impersonator The Donald.

Butch_Wagstaff April 23, 2012 at 8:16 pm

I deserved everything I got for clicking that link.

EtchySketchy April 23, 2012 at 7:37 pm

"Rove typically speaks from both sides of his mouth."

Both sides of his ass, actually.

not that Dewey April 23, 2012 at 8:52 pm

I read this, and I think, incredulously, "did Orly say something that was true?"

weejee April 23, 2012 at 7:37 pm

Rove typically speaks from both sides of his mouth

He's a level-headed plumber? The shit comes out of both sides of his mouth???

Monsieur_Grumpe April 23, 2012 at 7:37 pm

I will admit I'm a bit biased against moronic assholes but I do treat them equally no matter what their sex so it kind of balances out I guess.

rickmaci April 23, 2012 at 7:38 pm

I can barely contain the sound of my laughing. She managed to get in, black face, Karl Rove, Jewish Republican, Spanish name and space travel in about four paragraphs. This is the most random and funniest thing I have read concerning politics, ever.

MrFizzy April 24, 2012 at 9:32 am

She attended the Ginrich School of Unrelated Concepts.

elgin_pelican April 24, 2012 at 11:04 am

Also – Howard Roark was an architect! See what she did there?

swordfis April 23, 2012 at 7:38 pm

Her skill at concealing her bigotry is impressive.

Negropolis April 24, 2012 at 1:05 am

I think what is more impressive is how sad that attempt is. lol

flamingpdog April 23, 2012 at 7:40 pm

at the Jewish -Republican coalition meeting

Wait a minute, you mean teh Jews aren't actually Republicans, but only form a coalition with them? And I thought there were only TWO major political parties.

Guppy April 23, 2012 at 7:40 pm

pushing for a Hispanic Al Ramirez.

As opposed to pushing for a Polish Al Ramirez, or a Korean Al Ramirez?

Orly Taitz will not be constrained by your paltry commas!

Come here a minute April 23, 2012 at 7:44 pm

Orly would support a Maldovan Al Ramirez.

Come here a minute April 23, 2012 at 7:41 pm

They don't call Karl Rove "the architect" for nothing — that's some brilliant strategery avoiding having a really crazy nutjob like Orly Taitz on your ballot. The Republicans will instead just have a standard crazy nutjob. (And the concept of Karl Rove paying any attention to Orly Taitz is most likely the product of the same fever-dream that has President Obama born in Kenya and Indonesia.)

chascates April 23, 2012 at 7:42 pm

Who in hell would ever go to her as a dental patient? I'd be afraid she'd pull all of my teeth and claim the CIA was using them to brainwash people!

iburl April 23, 2012 at 9:26 pm

"Who in hell would ever go to her as a dental patient?"

People who want all of their teeth pulled because the CIA is using them to brainwash people.

comptoneffect April 23, 2012 at 7:44 pm

Here's a comment to all our GOP friends and family members that kept sending news clips about Orly's search for the truth about Obama–we told you she was crazy but you didn't believe us and now she's going after you. Hahaha!

commiegirl April 23, 2012 at 7:44 pm

Oh man, Steve Frank! I know that guy, he is dumber than toadshit. Orly may actually have a point!

AlterNewt April 23, 2012 at 7:46 pm

It's bound to happen once in a while.

BarackMyWorld April 23, 2012 at 7:47 pm

So it's toadshit dumb vs. batshit crazy?

Swampgas_Man April 23, 2012 at 7:52 pm

She has a point, but her wig hides it well.

Rotundo_ April 23, 2012 at 7:59 pm

Even a blind squirrel occasionally finds a nut.

MilwaukeeKent April 23, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Hmmmph! Blaming a squirrel for Orly Taitz…

flamingpdog April 23, 2012 at 11:44 pm

I'm not insulted at all, but then I'm deaf, not blind.

vulpes82 April 24, 2012 at 8:25 am

But what about Moose?

Radiotherapy April 23, 2012 at 8:07 pm

Even Ann Rmoney lifts a finger to call the servants now and then.

ifthethunderdontgetya April 23, 2012 at 8:35 pm

They're both right!

I mean, dumber than toadshit.
~

Negropolis April 24, 2012 at 1:07 am

I'm getting some feedback. Something about broken clocks and correctness and twice per day and such.

flamingpdog April 23, 2012 at 7:44 pm

So, Steve Frank wrote e-mails to everybody, telling people not to vote for Orly Taitz because she will be in prison in a few months because she is going after Obama.

Please, please, dear Jeebus, let her end up in a coed prison cell with the Nuge. PLEEEEEEEEZE!!!!1!

ThundercatHo April 23, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Only if the Nuge is gelded first, we don't want them to breed.

Jukesgrrl April 23, 2012 at 11:52 pm

She should share a cell with Rod Blagojevich. They could do each other's hair.

BigSkullF*ckingDog April 23, 2012 at 7:46 pm

Orly, you're not "controversial" You're a fucking insane lunatic crazy person and a joke to everybody, even (most of) the GOP.

EtchySketchy April 23, 2012 at 7:46 pm

They wanted a 'Spanish' name on the ballot, because it's not an 'Orly Taitz' name.

Barrelhse April 23, 2012 at 9:45 pm

She can't just change her name to Orly Taitz Ricardo? She's an attorney, right?

flamingpdog April 23, 2012 at 7:48 pm

Woman can't be all bad. I checked her Facebook page and she has 4980 more friends than the loverly Gulnara.

Sharkey April 23, 2012 at 8:08 pm

And 3 more videos on Redtube.

not that Dewey April 23, 2012 at 8:57 pm

Do not want.

Guppy April 23, 2012 at 8:41 pm

Which is surprising, considering that all Uzbekis are required to friend her by law.

elfgoldsackring April 23, 2012 at 7:50 pm

Worst Russian mail-order bride ever.

ElPinche April 23, 2012 at 8:13 pm

smells like a TLC show

iburl April 23, 2012 at 9:27 pm

From Russia with Ugh.

BigSkullF*ckingDog April 23, 2012 at 7:50 pm

Orly Taitz lives on as an exception to the rule of survival of the fittest.

flamingpdog April 23, 2012 at 7:58 pm

Wait til 2016 – Chris Christie may yet prove the rule of survival of the fattest.

Sharkey April 23, 2012 at 8:12 pm

Disproving everything Darwin ever said.

starfanglednut April 23, 2012 at 8:51 pm

See, evolution is a lie!

EtchySketchy April 23, 2012 at 7:54 pm

Don't be so hard on yourself Orly, I bet you know a fuck-load about "the Space travel".

Mahousu April 23, 2012 at 7:55 pm

Karl Rove may have this reputation as the "Architect," but let me tell you, we hired him to remodel our house – big mistake.

OK, the combo tattoo parlor / orgy room was kind of neat, I'll admit, but what kind of house needs five dungeons? He kept insisting you need to separate them by race and gender. (No dungeon needed for white males, of course.)

keinsignal April 23, 2012 at 8:02 pm

"The Architect", meanwhile, is probably completely pissed off he has to devote any attention at all to a race they're going to lose anyway, just to keep yet another GOP crazyface the hell away from prime-time news cameras.

Rotundo_ April 23, 2012 at 8:03 pm

She really should get back to real estate dental lawyering or whatever it is she did before all of this. She had to have clients, at least in theory…

comrad_darkness April 24, 2012 at 8:36 am

Assuming she's down to only clients who are like minded, that's one scary ass waiting room at her place.

Schmannnity April 23, 2012 at 8:04 pm

Worst secondary landing strip in Paris.

Radiotherapy April 23, 2012 at 8:29 pm

True story: Crazy fuck Jewish-Russian radiologist named Levitskaya accused me of killing her 85 year old mother because I didn't use a rectal tube on her for the one hour she was under my care. She was already extremely ill and died three days later in the hospital. Well, we don't use rectal tubes any more anyhow. But she thought somehow it would remove the bad humours. To quote:

con vocce ruski accent: Let me tell you something, I graduated University of Moscow. I then received my Doctor of Medicine from the University of Kiev. I went back to University of Moscow to receive my doctor of science — you don't have that in this country. *Stands up, slams fists on table and points at me* BUT YOU, YOU DOCTOR RADIO, YOU KILLED MY MOTHER!!!111!1!!

emmelemm April 23, 2012 at 8:37 pm

…. rectal tube? Whaaa? O_o

Biff April 23, 2012 at 8:42 pm

DUN-dun-dun!

Guppy April 23, 2012 at 8:43 pm

Alas, she has to make do with an MD PhD rather than a JD DDS.

natoslug April 23, 2012 at 8:51 pm

"Hello, my name is Levitskaya. You killed my mother. Prepare to die." I think I preferred the original.

emmelemm April 23, 2012 at 9:02 pm

I dunno… I'm not opposed to sequels.

natoslug April 23, 2012 at 10:53 pm

Princess Bride II: Tighter, wetter, crazier– Nathan

emmelemm April 24, 2012 at 1:19 am

HAAAA! (ew)

Doktor StrangeZoom April 23, 2012 at 8:52 pm

OK, forget "Snot Otter." I propose a new nickname: Orly "Rectal Tube" Taitz

Radiotherapy April 23, 2012 at 9:18 pm

You found a very good use for an otherwise antiquated medical device.
Start a meme. Start a meme.

deanbooth April 23, 2012 at 9:06 pm

I have a friend who is a state bank auditor. He got a similar "YOU KILLED MY FATHER!" rant when the owner of the (family-run) bank had a heart attack after he left. I don't know how I could deal with that.

Radiotherapy April 23, 2012 at 9:40 pm

I had to endure the insanity back in the 90's when the hospital was doing "point of impact intervention" and "service recovery." Kind of a jokey Kafkaesque thing. They made me go to this meeting with her and some administrators. She brought a PhD with her who was an "expert" or something on humours. Levitskaya shook everybody's hand but mine when she came in the room. I'm sure my blood pressure was through the roof and I was thinking at the time: Go fucking pester some lawyer you ruskicunt.

comrad_darkness April 24, 2012 at 8:34 am

They do say that laughing a lot makes you heal faster. . . We're talking about something completely different, aren't we?

ManchuCandidate April 23, 2012 at 9:12 pm

Wait till she tells you "Radio, I am your fatha"

valthemus April 24, 2012 at 3:07 am

Mr. Mustafio?

Sharkey April 23, 2012 at 8:29 pm

"Is that real fur?"

glamourdammerung April 23, 2012 at 8:35 pm

Taitz really should just file a bunch of nuisance lawsuits against the Republicans for this treason.

Doktor StrangeZoom April 23, 2012 at 8:41 pm

Orly "Snot Otter" "Rectal Tube" Taitz.

Radiotherapy April 23, 2012 at 9:54 pm

It's a humor problem.

not that Dewey April 23, 2012 at 10:03 pm

Black bile, or yellow bile?

Radiotherapy April 23, 2012 at 10:27 pm

AND YOU, YOU DOKTOR STRANGEZOOM, YOU TAINTED MY BUNGHOLE!!1!1!!!!!.

Doktor StrangeZoom April 24, 2012 at 12:23 am

AND YOU, YOU RADIO THE RAPY, YOU BUNGHOLED MY TAINT!!!!

not that Dewey April 24, 2012 at 12:24 am

I AM NOT DOKTOR STRANGEZOOM, AND I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT HIS BUNGHOLE

Edit: OR HIS TAINT

fuflans April 23, 2012 at 8:43 pm

i think all crazy people are actually nadine.

this is my theory and i'm sticking to it.

Monsieur_Grumpe April 23, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Shhhhh do not speak the Crazy One's name out loud. It will summon the insanity.

Barrelhse April 23, 2012 at 9:47 pm

Oh Nadine..Honey, is that you?

Tommmcattt April 24, 2012 at 1:32 am

Wow, Nadine. Takes you back.

SayItWithWookies April 23, 2012 at 8:50 pm

Orly's such a United Nations of crazy — fashion from Malcolm McDowell's mom in A Clockwork Orange, persecution complex from end-stage Howard Hughes, writing style from Forrest Gump, and legal acumen from Zimbabwe.

horsedreamer_1 April 23, 2012 at 8:51 pm

Taitz misbehavin'.

emmelemm April 23, 2012 at 9:08 pm

Just coincidentally, my co-worker is on a (personal) phone call in his office, which I can hear from my office, and he's talking about "TWO birth certificates, and if you READ them, they're from different hospitals! So they're FAKED!!"

Jeezy Creezy.

Barrelhse April 23, 2012 at 9:48 pm

Time for the old "LSD in the watercooler" gag.

Fukui-sanYesOta April 23, 2012 at 10:35 pm

Insane people abound, unfortunately.

I've had a coworker regale me with Interesting Facts He Knows in which he was claiming that Hitler was actually a Rothschild. I tried to point out the rather obvious flaw in that line of reasoning, but he wouldn't have it.

Then again, this is a guy who has a sign in the front screen of his car claiming a 150 quid fee for taking pictures of it and then tries to invoice the police when he's busted by speed cameras.

flamingpdog April 23, 2012 at 11:56 pm

When my oldest son, a minor at the time, was in therapy in the mid-90s, his psychiatrist told me that 50 percent of the people in the US are mentally ill. I thought at the time that he was including everyone like me who has generalized anxiety disorder and other minor tics, not just people completely off their rocker. These days, I'm not so sure anymore.

MissNancyPriss April 24, 2012 at 12:13 am

Woah, sheesh, I'm sorry, that's terrible. Always assumed those folks were not employable. It's not comforting in the least to know that they are.

emmelemm April 24, 2012 at 1:16 am

Here's the thing… he's NOT stupid. I knew he was extremely Republican, and more than a smidge racist, but I didn't think he would cotton to the patently ridiculous.

Serolf_Divad April 24, 2012 at 5:02 am

That is, literally, what most Republicans believe. From personal experience I know this to be true. They are a pathetic lot, largely immune to rational inquiry or argument.

deanbooth April 23, 2012 at 9:11 pm

telling people not to vote for Orly Taitz because she will be in prison in a few months because she is going after Obama.

Just like Ted Nugent. It's all making sense now. Let the roundup begin!

iburl April 23, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Soros?

ManchuCandidate April 23, 2012 at 9:14 pm

What's absolutely hilarious here is the fact a lot of self claimed (because IQ tests "lie") "intelligent" REAL US Americas actually still want to believe her. Yet she continues to show that she's just absolutely fucking nuts.

ThundercatHo April 23, 2012 at 9:16 pm

I think I smell a game change . . . . . . Rmoney/Taitz 2012!!!!!!

iburl April 23, 2012 at 9:29 pm

More like gamey diaper change….. (Vitter.)

Blueb4sunrise April 23, 2012 at 9:40 pm

The only covers of Lou Reed tunes by kazoo players I can find on the intertubes is the attendees at a marriage ceremony playing "Perfect Day' after the vows.

[just sharing what I was doing before checking back in here]

flamingpdog April 23, 2012 at 11:57 pm

Thank Darwin, I can sleep soundly tonight.

BZ1 April 23, 2012 at 9:48 pm

Well, she is spacey ..

Man0nTheStreet April 23, 2012 at 9:59 pm

I want to hear her read this aloud, in public…

io9k9s April 23, 2012 at 10:00 pm

Is Space Cadet a fruit too low?

emmelemm April 24, 2012 at 1:21 am

Nyet, tovarische.

HippieEsq April 23, 2012 at 10:01 pm

As usual Orly is barking up the wrong tree. For "the" space travel expertise your go-to wingnuts are going to be Mormon Mitt (Harvard phd in Mormon Space Jesus Studies) and Interatellar Idea Machine Newt (honorary degree from Valdosta State in Moon Colonization and Management). .

Angry_Marmot April 24, 2012 at 12:46 am

Ahem. Are we (rather conveniently) forgetting someone…?

HippieEsq April 24, 2012 at 7:28 am

Nice. Also, Will Smith.

salt_bagel April 23, 2012 at 10:04 pm

She would rather have just said, "Fuck Ramirez", but her PR advisors would not allow her to be As Nasty As She Wants To Be.

Jukesgrrl April 23, 2012 at 11:57 pm

I don't think Orly ever uses two words when 2,002 would work.

Man0nTheStreet April 24, 2012 at 12:04 am

She *is* a lawyer/dentist/dingbat/gadfly, after all…

Troglodeity April 23, 2012 at 10:35 pm

Taitz/Nugent 2012!

owhatever April 23, 2012 at 10:48 pm

Oily Titz points out that Mister Spock was only half-human, just like her.

ttommyunger April 23, 2012 at 10:59 pm

Idiot libel.

Barb April 23, 2012 at 11:31 pm

Hey Bitches! Five primaries tomorrow and we need to be ready. The drink will flow and the snark will spill. I have a feeling that Newt is going to fold like a crack whore, punched in the gut. Bring your "A" game and meet us here.

flamingpdog April 24, 2012 at 12:00 am

I'm really beginning to hate Tuesdays.

trampndirtdown April 24, 2012 at 12:14 am

Tuesdays are quite fun, but Wednesday mornings are getting to be a bitch.

Man0nTheStreet April 24, 2012 at 12:07 am

RON PAUL/HERMAN CAIN 2012!!!!1!!!1!

littlebigdaddy April 24, 2012 at 12:14 am

Sounds like something I might regret later.

Radiotherapy April 24, 2012 at 12:21 am

Mitt/Ann '12
Romney/Romney '12

Fukui-sanYesOta April 24, 2012 at 12:28 am

I am so totally 169% in on this.

The booze shall flow like water and the snark will be devastating in its cut and wit.

Projected winner: Ron Paul, because he's the only one who isn't a pandering dipfuck.

Radiotherapy April 24, 2012 at 12:41 am

My projected winner: Bammer.

Barb April 24, 2012 at 12:44 am

Fukui, I can't wait to see your dazzling comments.

Negropolis April 24, 2012 at 1:23 am

I wonder if the networks will even cover them?

GregComlish April 23, 2012 at 11:32 pm

Taitz is correct in a way. The GOP is curiously self-aware about their own bigotry and tries to address this by finding black and hispanic patsies. If only the GOP detected a deficit among the hottest, wettest, and horniest women of all ages then Taitz's dream could come true.

Man0nTheStreet April 24, 2012 at 12:05 am

So… you're saying you'd hit it?

GregComlish April 24, 2012 at 8:23 am

No.

MissNancyPriss April 24, 2012 at 12:10 am

I can't go to this site until I have assurances that the meat picture is gone.

littlebigdaddy April 24, 2012 at 12:13 am

I'll bet she gives awesome crazy-lady head.

Radiotherapy April 24, 2012 at 12:19 am

No way, it's more like this.

Negropolis April 24, 2012 at 1:22 am

Yes, yes, but my probing, personal question is whether or not she'll give a N%ggerhead?

Yeah, I said it; I can say it. Wanna' fight about it?

Negropolis April 24, 2012 at 12:33 am

Never mind that Dunn knew about the work of Sec of State and elections as much as I know about the Space travel…

Ms. Taitz, you forget yourself! You inadvertantly confirmed your alien status. I knew it!

Yes, the racially transcendent Republican Party. LOL! Good one, Orly.

gurukalehuru April 24, 2012 at 12:43 am

What Orly Taitz doesn't know about space travel would fill book.

Also, Karl Rove isn't called Turd Blossom for nothing, neither.

Schmegeg April 24, 2012 at 1:16 am

Pride of the William Howard Taft Online Law School

Negropolis April 24, 2012 at 1:25 am

Moldova's favorite daughter. Poor Moldova; the Mississippi of Eastern Europe. Actually, Mississippi has a far, far higher GDP.

Tommmcattt April 24, 2012 at 1:39 am

KEEL MOOSE AND SQUIRRIL! KEEL MOOSE AND SQUIRRIL!

(that's one of Prom's oldies, but one of his best)

imissopus April 24, 2012 at 2:14 am

So let me get this straight: this November I could theoretically have a ballot on which I can both vote to abolish the death penalty and put Orly Taitz into the Senate? What a country.

Negropolis April 24, 2012 at 4:09 am

California really is a whole other country. I know, I know: Texas libel!

emmelemm April 24, 2012 at 1:48 pm

What a country.

Is that said in your best Yakov Smirnov voice?

Wile E. Quixote April 24, 2012 at 2:33 am

Damn. That was masterful. If she had managed to work in "The Elders of Zion" it would have been perfect.

valthemus April 24, 2012 at 3:03 am

Akyooterat, God of Squirrels, offers you his blessings. His name be praised.

valthemus April 24, 2012 at 3:21 am

Once again I am floored by the urgent power of the right-winger to shamelessly and comically deflect blame for his/her misfortunes and screw-ups in an effort to project an image of utter competence (because, as we all know, appearing competent is so much better than appearing sane).

The only thing that could make this better would be if Joe the Plumber rushed to Orly's defense. I'm imagining his neanderthal babblings as he berates Karl Rove and brown people on "Fox and Friends" and find it strangely arousing…

comrad_darkness April 24, 2012 at 8:26 am

Wait wait wait, the right wing also has conspiracy theories about Rove? This guy is GOOOOOD.

BaldarTFlagass April 24, 2012 at 8:29 am

You aren't paranoid, Orly. They really are out to get you.

Douché April 24, 2012 at 9:10 am

Yo Quiero Messican Candidate.

weejee April 24, 2012 at 9:21 am

Your very worst 2012 nightmare is at the top of Ginger Jim Newell's latest piece over at the Saloon.

freakishlywrong April 24, 2012 at 9:45 am

Just read that. Thought I was seeing things. Whaaaa? Newell? Saloooon?

SudsMcKenzie April 24, 2012 at 9:56 am

Me too. I was already shocked by the 9am post's, then this.

not that Dewey April 24, 2012 at 9:48 am

Great piece, but what's with the new look? Did Saloon hire some unemployed Myspace Graphic Designers?

oldedinvn April 24, 2012 at 9:34 am

Screw you high end fuckers.
I would do that in a minute (probably why I don't get second chances, just because 12 seconds is not considered a nite, don;t not mean I wadn't happy.)
Now about your dog.

oldedinvn April 24, 2012 at 9:56 am

I rilly don't not like this crap about being 12 hours earlier or 11 during daylite time.

Since I am usually 12 hours ahead, why don't I get the posts first? Damn libruls.

Oblios_Cap April 24, 2012 at 10:04 am

Karl Rove is The Architect? The fellow in The Matrix movies looked nothing like him.

telecustom1972 April 24, 2012 at 11:28 am

Oily Taints?

anniegetyerfun April 24, 2012 at 2:10 pm

That is one crazy fucking woman.

dopper0189 April 24, 2012 at 6:06 pm

I want her on the ballet.! I would love to see her press conference when she only get 5% of the vote in November!

WonkCynic April 25, 2012 at 2:51 am

Back in the good old days if a lady found out a usurper had risen to the throne, she'd have been hailed as a national hero for attempting to point it out to the blind fat sheep inhabitting the kingdom. Nowadays the media condemns such a woman a a creepy fucking whore for not drinking the kool-aid and accepting a pay check in exchange for a journalist job ignoring the lie and propping up the usurper as a messianic national saviour.

Birther Headlines April 26, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Orly Taitz now leads all GOP candidates: http://birtherheadlines.blogspot.com/2012/04/orly

Doktor StrangeZoom April 24, 2012 at 12:30 am

HEY, YOU GOT VOMIT ON MY RADIO!

WELL, YOU GOT RADIO ON MY VOMIT!

–MST3K, Catalina Caper

user-of-owls April 24, 2012 at 12:42 am

TWO GREAT EXCRETA THAT GO GREAT TOGETHER!

not that Dewey April 24, 2012 at 12:44 am

DAMMIT OWLS ALWAYS STEALIN THE BEST FUCKIN JOKES

Doktor StrangeZoom April 30, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Hey, Dewey–do you have Owls' phone? His latest post sounds like he could use some support

flamingpdog April 24, 2012 at 12:48 am

Jeezus, guys, get a room.

A SOUNDPROOF ROOM!

CapnFatback April 24, 2012 at 12:59 am

OOOH, OWLS, URINE TROU-BLLLLE!!!

Radiotherapy April 24, 2012 at 2:12 am

YOU GOT CHOCOLATE ON MY VAGINAL DISCHARGE…YOU GOT VAGINAL DISCHARGE ON MY CHOCOLATE…TWO HOLES, ONE CUP, WITH TAINTZ IN BETWEEN

Radiotherapy April 24, 2012 at 1:39 am

A QUIET ROOM

imissopus April 24, 2012 at 2:03 am

I FIND THIS THREAD VERY DIFFICULT TO MASTURBATE TO!!

Doktor StrangeZoom April 30, 2012 at 3:05 pm

Ah, okeydokey

Celebration, then!

not that Dewey April 30, 2012 at 3:44 pm

I could be wrong. And I hope I'm not.

user-of-owls April 30, 2012 at 4:40 pm

Whee! Give Kid Zoom a noogie for me!

user-of-owls April 30, 2012 at 4:39 pm

No no no! You're spot on! Pure celebration, nada mas! I mean, I could've had a baby…maybe in a way, I did! ;)
Been off the mainland for a bit, hope I didn't cause alarm. Some very sweet comments back on the original post. And that reminds me, young Dewey, are we not at ten months for you? Hmm? I daresay we've given old Johnny Estupefaciente a sound thrashing, eh?

Chichikovovich May 4, 2012 at 5:33 pm

Hi Dewey – just a quick note of congratulations on the ten that owls mentioned. Hope you're doing OK out there.

[Love the new avatar - is that Dewey in some Soviet-Era tribute?]

Doktor StrangeZoom April 30, 2012 at 6:01 pm

HUZZAH!

not that Dewey May 6, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Thanks — see my latest comment to Radio for details. Don't worry about me right now; I'll be fine. Worry about him.

It's Lavrentiy Beria's Death Banner

not that Dewey May 6, 2012 at 3:42 pm

But if you've never read The Dewey Commission Report: The Case of Leon Trotsky , that's some good shit right there. Indignant, pissy Trotsky, mellow Dewey.

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