Orly Taitz Losing Senate Race, GOP Racism Against White People to Blame

  as usual

John Kennedy Toole won a Pulitzer and she's still being passed over?

Here is a very important regional political update that you will not want to miss: famous dingbat and U.S. Senate candidate Orly Taitz has been snubbed for the endorsement of the California Republican Assembly. Orly Taitz has considered all the reasons why this might be the case, and Republican racism against white people is the obvious culprit. This mostly irrelevant wingnut endorsement has gone to some guy “Al Ramirez,” see. So let Orly Taitz, speaker of Spanish, go ahead and translate the taco talk for you: “Ramirez” is a Hispanic name. CONSPIRACY.

Here is a lovely excerpt from her latest short fiction blog entry starring white-hating racist supervillains Karl Rove and a dude named Steve:

Going back to [California Republican Party] and [California Republican Assembly], the party bosses running the show in both organizations are largely dependent on the marching orders from the “Architect”, Karl Rove.

Rove typically speaks from both sides of his mouth. While he encouraged me, when I saw him last time at the Jewish -Republican coalition meeting, he is giving directives to the party bosses to promote different candidates: more obedient, non-controversial women and Hispanics. Following those directives CRP 24 member board decided to support another woman, who is unknown, but non controversial.

Following the paradigm of the “Architect” it seemed the board and particularly Steve Frank wwere pushing for a Hispanic Al Ramirez. It did not matter, whether my Spanish was as good as his. They wanted a Spanish name on the ballot. There is probably a smart way of doing things and a stupid way. Steve Frank is an embodiment of a stupid way.

Two years ago I got e-mails that were sent by Steve Frank. At that time the Republican party was pushing another minority candidate, a black candidate, the only black candidate running for the state wide office, Damon Dunn, who ran against me for the Secretary of State. Never mind that Dunn knew about the work of Sec of State and elections as much as I know about the Space travel, the party wanted one black face on their slate in order to attract minority votes. So, Steve Frank wrote e-mails to everybody, telling people not to vote for Orly Taitz because she will be in prison in a few months because she is going after Obama.

The Space travel! So Orly Taitz was just Newt Gingrich in a bad wig and a girdle all along, go figure. [OC Register]

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218 comments

  1. Mumbletypeg

    Why is Orly continually trying out for participation in races wherein no one would have her as a member? Starting, and ending, with the human race?

    1. flamingpdog

      I want to see her dental x-rays so we can get an idea how many of the voices she hears are from her brain and how many are from the radio transmitters in her fillings.

    2. Limeylizzie

      ot, but re. your tweet about Jon Lovitz. I worked with him for several weeks and he was a gigantic prick, completely self-absorbed and a womaniser, so I ignore anything that creep might have to say about anyone.

      1. Barb

        Hey, sis. I sometimes talk about an ex-friend I had who was best friends with Ann Coulter. His other best friend is Jon. Seriously, they would send Obama e-mail of the worst sort and I prayed that one day one of them would hit "reply all" so I could publish it.

        Jon used to be the voice of the M&M in the TV ads. They dumped his ass when he started acting like he was God.

        I dumped my friend, changed my email address, yanked out my home phone, changed cell phone numbers, had IT block calls from him to Jeff and walked away from the negative hate.

        One email photo was so horrible that I actually fainted. It was racist, bloody and the worst thing in the world. I stood up, swooned and hit my head on the metal edge of my glass desk. Never again!

    1. BerkeleyBear

      200 million in essentially unmarked bills. Didn't cost him that much to steal W the White House twice. I'm very afraid of the crapfest Rove will create, despite (or maybe because) the GOP candidates in general are either fired up nutbags (Walsh, Oily, the folks primarying Lugar and Hatch, etc.) or bland as school paste white men like Romney.

      1. Negropolis

        Still, it was much easier when his crazies at least pretended to be respectable citizens. Surely, $200 million can put a lot of lipstick on a pig, but Americans do have their limits.

  2. OneYieldRegular

    This is a catastrophic slip, Orly. You've violated Rule Number One of the organization, which is NEVER to talk publicly about the Space travel. Your mothership uploading privileges are hereby revoked until further notice from Commander Major Tom.

      1. flamingpdog

        "Reminds me of when Lindsey Graham was elected in South Carolina. Everyone thought it would be hilarious".

    1. msrhpvt

      In VT we had Fred Tuttle, an elderly dairy farmer who starred in a movie called 'Man with a Plan" about an old VT farmer who runs for congress because the pay seems real good and you don't have to work too hard. In a publicity stunt for the movie he ran in the republican primary to oppose Leahey in the senate race – and won the nomination! He then endorsed Leahey out of fear he might actually beat him.

  3. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Never mind that Dunn knew about the work of Sec of State and elections as much as I know about the Space travel,

    If that is true, he must have been highly qualified.

    the party wanted one black face

    I have found that most parties are better with at least one black face.

    1. weejee

      Do you think she's already ODed on mercury from filling amalgams? That she's a dental equivalent of the mercury addled Mad Hatter?

    2. sewollef

      "Some other dentist needs to fill that cavity between her ears."

      Portland cement?

      Worked for gentlemen who had disagreements with family members in Noo Yawk, I believe. The Verrazano is a very nice bridge by the way.

  4. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    She should demand Mr. Ramirez's long form birth certificate and green card. That should put a stop to Rove's cheating.

  5. SmutBoffin

    "Never mind that Dunn knew about the work of Sec of State and elections as much as I know about the Space travel…"

    "…which is really impossible anyway since you can't get that close to God or He will shoot you with his laser eyes and the moon landing was faked by JFK (an Argentinean by birth LOOK IT UP) and the rest of NASA's Kenyan document forgers in the sound stage where Anne Dunham Soweto was impregnated with reptiloid genetic majick."

    (collapses)

    1. sullivanst

      Note that Orly never claimed to know even that much about the work of Sec. State. herself.

      1. Jukesgrrl

        That's how Arizona got Jan Brewer. The GOP bosses said, "She's been so loyal. She's carried our water for years. Let's run her as Secretary of State. What harm could it do?"

    2. Doktor StrangeZoom

      You forgot HAARP and Chemtrails, but otherwise, very nice.

      .72 Timecubes to you

  6. Callyson

    For those of you who are not CA voters, her candidate statement is a riot:

    You deserve the truth, respect and answers: why Barack Obama is using a Connecticut Social Security number, which was never assigned to him according to E-verify, why his alleged copy of a birth certificate is deemed to be a computer generated forgery, why his school records show him as an Indonesian citizen and many others. If you want your government accountable to you, vote Orly Taitz!
    http://www.orlytaitzesq.com/?page_id=32873

    Right now, I can't tell if that's Senator Feinstein's howls of laughter I am hearing, or my own…

    1. sullivanst

      Haha "deemed to be" – by Orly, Joseph Farah, Joe Ohhellno, and a bunch of other even less intelligent knuckledraggers.

      Whereas even Fuck Snooze declare it authentic. Why is Fox so racist against white people? Whyyyyyyyyyyyy??!!!?!1!

  7. EtchySketchy

    "Rove typically speaks from both sides of his mouth."

    Both sides of his ass, actually.

  8. weejee

    Rove typically speaks from both sides of his mouth

    He's a level-headed plumber? The shit comes out of both sides of his mouth???

  9. Monsieur_Grumpe

    I will admit I'm a bit biased against moronic assholes but I do treat them equally no matter what their sex so it kind of balances out I guess.

  10. rickmaci

    I can barely contain the sound of my laughing. She managed to get in, black face, Karl Rove, Jewish Republican, Spanish name and space travel in about four paragraphs. This is the most random and funniest thing I have read concerning politics, ever.

  11. flamingpdog

    at the Jewish -Republican coalition meeting

    Wait a minute, you mean teh Jews aren't actually Republicans, but only form a coalition with them? And I thought there were only TWO major political parties.

  12. Guppy

    pushing for a Hispanic Al Ramirez.

    As opposed to pushing for a Polish Al Ramirez, or a Korean Al Ramirez?

    Orly Taitz will not be constrained by your paltry commas!

  13. Come here a minute

    They don't call Karl Rove "the architect" for nothing — that's some brilliant strategery avoiding having a really crazy nutjob like Orly Taitz on your ballot. The Republicans will instead just have a standard crazy nutjob. (And the concept of Karl Rove paying any attention to Orly Taitz is most likely the product of the same fever-dream that has President Obama born in Kenya and Indonesia.)

  14. chascates

    Who in hell would ever go to her as a dental patient? I'd be afraid she'd pull all of my teeth and claim the CIA was using them to brainwash people!

    1. iburl

      "Who in hell would ever go to her as a dental patient?"

      People who want all of their teeth pulled because the CIA is using them to brainwash people.

  15. comptoneffect

    Here's a comment to all our GOP friends and family members that kept sending news clips about Orly's search for the truth about Obama–we told you she was crazy but you didn't believe us and now she's going after you. Hahaha!

  16. commiegirl

    Oh man, Steve Frank! I know that guy, he is dumber than toadshit. Orly may actually have a point!

    1. Negropolis

      I'm getting some feedback. Something about broken clocks and correctness and twice per day and such.

  17. flamingpdog

    So, Steve Frank wrote e-mails to everybody, telling people not to vote for Orly Taitz because she will be in prison in a few months because she is going after Obama.

    Please, please, dear Jeebus, let her end up in a coed prison cell with the Nuge. PLEEEEEEEEZE!!!!1!

  18. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Orly, you're not "controversial" You're a fucking insane lunatic crazy person and a joke to everybody, even (most of) the GOP.

  19. EtchySketchy

    Don't be so hard on yourself Orly, I bet you know a fuck-load about "the Space travel".

  20. Mahousu

    Karl Rove may have this reputation as the "Architect," but let me tell you, we hired him to remodel our house – big mistake.

    OK, the combo tattoo parlor / orgy room was kind of neat, I'll admit, but what kind of house needs five dungeons? He kept insisting you need to separate them by race and gender. (No dungeon needed for white males, of course.)

  21. keinsignal

    "The Architect", meanwhile, is probably completely pissed off he has to devote any attention at all to a race they're going to lose anyway, just to keep yet another GOP crazyface the hell away from prime-time news cameras.

  22. Rotundo_

    She really should get back to real estate dental lawyering or whatever it is she did before all of this. She had to have clients, at least in theory…

    1. comrad_darkness

      Assuming she's down to only clients who are like minded, that's one scary ass waiting room at her place.

  23. Radiotherapy

    True story: Crazy fuck Jewish-Russian radiologist named Levitskaya accused me of killing her 85 year old mother because I didn't use a rectal tube on her for the one hour she was under my care. She was already extremely ill and died three days later in the hospital. Well, we don't use rectal tubes any more anyhow. But she thought somehow it would remove the bad humours. To quote:

    con vocce ruski accent: Let me tell you something, I graduated University of Moscow. I then received my Doctor of Medicine from the University of Kiev. I went back to University of Moscow to receive my doctor of science — you don't have that in this country. *Stands up, slams fists on table and points at me* BUT YOU, YOU DOCTOR RADIO, YOU KILLED MY MOTHER!!!111!1!!

      1. Radiotherapy

        You found a very good use for an otherwise antiquated medical device.
        Start a meme. Start a meme.

    1. deanbooth

      I have a friend who is a state bank auditor. He got a similar "YOU KILLED MY FATHER!" rant when the owner of the (family-run) bank had a heart attack after he left. I don't know how I could deal with that.

      1. Radiotherapy

        I had to endure the insanity back in the 90's when the hospital was doing "point of impact intervention" and "service recovery." Kind of a jokey Kafkaesque thing. They made me go to this meeting with her and some administrators. She brought a PhD with her who was an "expert" or something on humours. Levitskaya shook everybody's hand but mine when she came in the room. I'm sure my blood pressure was through the roof and I was thinking at the time: Go fucking pester some lawyer you ruskicunt.

        1. comrad_darkness

          They do say that laughing a lot makes you heal faster. . . We're talking about something completely different, aren't we?

          1. not that Dewey

            I AM NOT DOKTOR STRANGEZOOM, AND I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT HIS BUNGHOLE

            Edit: OR HIS TAINT

          2. Doktor StrangeZoom

            HEY, YOU GOT VOMIT ON MY RADIO!

            WELL, YOU GOT RADIO ON MY VOMIT!

            –MST3K, Catalina Caper

          3. Radiotherapy

            YOU GOT CHOCOLATE ON MY VAGINAL DISCHARGE…YOU GOT VAGINAL DISCHARGE ON MY CHOCOLATE…TWO HOLES, ONE CUP, WITH TAINTZ IN BETWEEN

          4. Doktor StrangeZoom

            Hey, Dewey–do you have Owls' phone? His latest post sounds like he could use some support

          5. user-of-owls

            No no no! You're spot on! Pure celebration, nada mas! I mean, I could've had a baby…maybe in a way, I did! ;)
            Been off the mainland for a bit, hope I didn't cause alarm. Some very sweet comments back on the original post. And that reminds me, young Dewey, are we not at ten months for you? Hmm? I daresay we've given old Johnny Estupefaciente a sound thrashing, eh?

          6. Chichikovovich

            Hi Dewey – just a quick note of congratulations on the ten that owls mentioned. Hope you're doing OK out there.

            [Love the new avatar - is that Dewey in some Soviet-Era tribute?]

          7. not that Dewey

            Thanks — see my latest comment to Radio for details. Don't worry about me right now; I'll be fine. Worry about him.

            It's Lavrentiy Beria's Death Banner

  24. SayItWithWookies

    Orly's such a United Nations of crazy — fashion from Malcolm McDowell's mom in A Clockwork Orange, persecution complex from end-stage Howard Hughes, writing style from Forrest Gump, and legal acumen from Zimbabwe.

  25. emmelemm

    Just coincidentally, my co-worker is on a (personal) phone call in his office, which I can hear from my office, and he's talking about "TWO birth certificates, and if you READ them, they're from different hospitals! So they're FAKED!!"

    Jeezy Creezy.

    1. Fukui-sanYesOta

      Insane people abound, unfortunately.

      I've had a coworker regale me with Interesting Facts He Knows in which he was claiming that Hitler was actually a Rothschild. I tried to point out the rather obvious flaw in that line of reasoning, but he wouldn't have it.

      Then again, this is a guy who has a sign in the front screen of his car claiming a 150 quid fee for taking pictures of it and then tries to invoice the police when he's busted by speed cameras.

      1. flamingpdog

        When my oldest son, a minor at the time, was in therapy in the mid-90s, his psychiatrist told me that 50 percent of the people in the US are mentally ill. I thought at the time that he was including everyone like me who has generalized anxiety disorder and other minor tics, not just people completely off their rocker. These days, I'm not so sure anymore.

    2. MissNancyPriss

      Woah, sheesh, I'm sorry, that's terrible. Always assumed those folks were not employable. It's not comforting in the least to know that they are.

      1. emmelemm

        Here's the thing… he's NOT stupid. I knew he was extremely Republican, and more than a smidge racist, but I didn't think he would cotton to the patently ridiculous.

        1. Serolf_Divad

          That is, literally, what most Republicans believe. From personal experience I know this to be true. They are a pathetic lot, largely immune to rational inquiry or argument.

  26. deanbooth

    telling people not to vote for Orly Taitz because she will be in prison in a few months because she is going after Obama.

    Just like Ted Nugent. It's all making sense now. Let the roundup begin!

  27. ManchuCandidate

    What's absolutely hilarious here is the fact a lot of self claimed (because IQ tests "lie") "intelligent" REAL US Americas actually still want to believe her. Yet she continues to show that she's just absolutely fucking nuts.

  28. Blueb4sunrise

    The only covers of Lou Reed tunes by kazoo players I can find on the intertubes is the attendees at a marriage ceremony playing "Perfect Day' after the vows.

    [just sharing what I was doing before checking back in here]

  29. HippieEsq

    As usual Orly is barking up the wrong tree. For "the" space travel expertise your go-to wingnuts are going to be Mormon Mitt (Harvard phd in Mormon Space Jesus Studies) and Interatellar Idea Machine Newt (honorary degree from Valdosta State in Moon Colonization and Management). .

  30. salt_bagel

    She would rather have just said, "Fuck Ramirez", but her PR advisors would not allow her to be As Nasty As She Wants To Be.

  31. Barb

    Hey Bitches! Five primaries tomorrow and we need to be ready. The drink will flow and the snark will spill. I have a feeling that Newt is going to fold like a crack whore, punched in the gut. Bring your "A" game and meet us here.

    1. Fukui-sanYesOta

      I am so totally 169% in on this.

      The booze shall flow like water and the snark will be devastating in its cut and wit.

      Projected winner: Ron Paul, because he's the only one who isn't a pandering dipfuck.

  32. GregComlish

    Taitz is correct in a way. The GOP is curiously self-aware about their own bigotry and tries to address this by finding black and hispanic patsies. If only the GOP detected a deficit among the hottest, wettest, and horniest women of all ages then Taitz's dream could come true.

    1. Negropolis

      Yes, yes, but my probing, personal question is whether or not she'll give a N%ggerhead?

      Yeah, I said it; I can say it. Wanna' fight about it?

  33. Negropolis

    Never mind that Dunn knew about the work of Sec of State and elections as much as I know about the Space travel…

    Ms. Taitz, you forget yourself! You inadvertantly confirmed your alien status. I knew it!

    Yes, the racially transcendent Republican Party. LOL! Good one, Orly.

  34. Negropolis

    Moldova's favorite daughter. Poor Moldova; the Mississippi of Eastern Europe. Actually, Mississippi has a far, far higher GDP.

  35. Tommmcattt

    KEEL MOOSE AND SQUIRRIL! KEEL MOOSE AND SQUIRRIL!

    (that's one of Prom's oldies, but one of his best)

  36. imissopus

    So let me get this straight: this November I could theoretically have a ballot on which I can both vote to abolish the death penalty and put Orly Taitz into the Senate? What a country.

  37. Wile E. Quixote

    Damn. That was masterful. If she had managed to work in "The Elders of Zion" it would have been perfect.

  38. valthemus

    Once again I am floored by the urgent power of the right-winger to shamelessly and comically deflect blame for his/her misfortunes and screw-ups in an effort to project an image of utter competence (because, as we all know, appearing competent is so much better than appearing sane).

    The only thing that could make this better would be if Joe the Plumber rushed to Orly's defense. I'm imagining his neanderthal babblings as he berates Karl Rove and brown people on "Fox and Friends" and find it strangely arousing…

  39. comrad_darkness

    Wait wait wait, the right wing also has conspiracy theories about Rove? This guy is GOOOOOD.

    1. not that Dewey

      Great piece, but what's with the new look? Did Saloon hire some unemployed Myspace Graphic Designers?

  40. oldedinvn

    Screw you high end fuckers.
    I would do that in a minute (probably why I don't get second chances, just because 12 seconds is not considered a nite, don;t not mean I wadn't happy.)
    Now about your dog.

  41. oldedinvn

    I rilly don't not like this crap about being 12 hours earlier or 11 during daylite time.

    Since I am usually 12 hours ahead, why don't I get the posts first? Damn libruls.

  42. dopper0189

    I want her on the ballet.! I would love to see her press conference when she only get 5% of the vote in November!

  43. WonkCynic

    Back in the good old days if a lady found out a usurper had risen to the throne, she'd have been hailed as a national hero for attempting to point it out to the blind fat sheep inhabitting the kingdom. Nowadays the media condemns such a woman a a creepy fucking whore for not drinking the kool-aid and accepting a pay check in exchange for a journalist job ignoring the lie and propping up the usurper as a messianic national saviour.

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