Living Jesus Jerry Falwell has taught his students too well: his invitation to presumed GOP nominee Mitt Romney to give the commencement address at Liberty “University” has resulted in a 700-person freakout on the school’s MyFace page. Mormons, cult, booo! said all the students, according to CNN. So that must be why the only notice on the page now regarding commencement is one announcing the bacchalaureate speaker the day before — a good evangi who is not Mitt Romney and not a Mormon and not even (presumably) a Scientologist! Oh man, sorry you did such a good job indoctrinating your students, Liberty. How good a job? Students are complaining that Mitt Romney is backed by billionaire liberal Nazi collaborator George Soros. That is some good indoctrinating! And? There are even complaints about Liberty’s non-Christly drama production of Peter Pan. Oh, COLLEGE!
Here are some of the students’ complaints, before Liberty scrubbed them:
“Liberty University should have gotten a Christian to speak not someone who practices a cult. Shame on you Liberty University.”
“I am glad I am not graduating this year. I would not want to end my studies at a Christian university by being sent in to the world at commencement by a Mormon. We came to Liberty because of our faith in Jesus; not for political reasons.”
“I am glad that my husband and I won’t be attending his commencement. Mormonism is not Christianity. My commencement is next year. Hopefully they choose more wisely.”
And here is the complaint about the obviously Satanic drama production of Peter Pan, which features fairies, pirates, Indians, and NO JESUS.
Do you believe in fairies? NO, KILL THEM! [CNN]
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Khristian Konspiracy Klowns for Kommencement!
Kult! Irony runs screaming from the room!
These people really do live in their own little bubble that they think is reality.
Seriously. Any idea that doesn't end with "praise Jesus" is verboten.
The one thing I cannot tolerate is intolerance.
And the Dutch.
Don't get me started on the BeNeLuxians….
We must tolerate intolerance. In fact, we should create Intolerance Zones, which will be located 57 miles from any community containing the thing/person/idea they do not wish to tolerate.
They have a terrible Zoology department.
Yeah, they just can't seem to get their arms around the whole "ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny" thing.
In fairness, she charges extra for phylogeny
They need to remodel Ark Hall; it's just too small.
Liberty University should have gotten
a Christianthe rotting corpse of Jerry Falwell to speak not someone who practices a cult.“Liberty University should have gotten a Christian to speak not someone who practices a cult."
Um, just because there are a billion or two of you that subscribe to your particular belief set doesn't make it any less of a cult.
It makes it a movement.
It's all numerical; until the first million people, it's a cult, after the the first billion dollars, it's the TRUTH.
Since when has Libertay U had a problem with Morons? The fucking place is filled with skull-fucking Morons!
Wait…what?
It's not like this might have anything to do with all the RW fundies on FOX and at all those Christian-y get togethers calling Mormonism a cult. Looks like the children is learning after all. I think it's called 'reap what you sow'….
Keep embiggening that fucking tent, wingtards.
I can fap to this cromulence.
Students are complaining that Mitt Romney is backed by billionaire liberal Nazi collaborator George Soros.
Soros must have a sore ass from being blamed for everything…
And he isn't even a Blah…
Close enough…he's Jewish. You know, a Jesus killer.
' cept it was the Romans who killed Jesus – it is a common misconception and some say the reason Hitler went after the Jews because he thought they killed Jesus. Maybe things would have been different if he realized his error.
You're right, Hitler was all about Teh Savior.
Hitler went after the Jews at least partly because he blamed us for Christianity, which "weakened the warrior spirit of the Aryan Race". Not that he was above using the old "Christ-killer" meme as a way of whipping up hatred.
Realizing an error and admitting an error are two different things, however. As Moses Invests said below, using "Jesus Killers" was an easy way to whip up the rubes.
Romans who killed Jesus
Yeah, I know that. Everyone knows that. Everyone that is except for frothy evangelical christians and Opus Dei type anti-semites.
It wasn't the Jews who killed Jesus, and it wasn't the Romans. It was the COPS.
"I am glad that my husband and I won’t be attending his commencement. Mormonism is not Christianity. My commencement is next year"
Wait, "husband and I"? I know Liberty is not a real college, but they have alleged students who are married? What the fuck? Normally college students graduate at 22; that is way too fucking young to be married. No one is married in fucking college. What the fuck, again?
You don't get down South much, do ya?
Put it this way: I've seen Multiple MILFs down there that haven't seen 21 yet.
I met a total of one female that was local and did not have at least one kid by 18 in the place I recently lived at. And yes, it was in the South.
Abstinence-Only libel!
You've been sheltered from decent people, I see. How else are serious Bible-thumping kids supposed to get laid?
The only married college student I knew was a sorority sister who got married when she found out she was pregnant.
Shockingly, that marriage lasted about 18 months before he left for a younger, non-MILFy girl.
Most states don't even have a hard minimum age for marriage, although almost all of those require a court order if either party is under 16. I suspect there's a fair degree of overlap between families that send their kids to Liberty, and families that would encourage young marriages.
The bigger surprise is that the husband allowed a mere woman to attend college when she should be busy submitting to him and stuff. Or does Liberty offer degrees in being barefoot and pregnant?
I was married when I was in college. I do not recommend it, however. Marriage in college is the great fun-killer.
That last bit is from Dune, as I recall.
Fremantappakegger – Hey, Muad'Dib. C'mon out man…take a break from your paper and we'll go get some spice wine?
Muad'Dib – No can do, bro. Irulan and Chani are both still giving me shit from the last time we went out. I need to lay low.
That Fremen tequila is really something.
But on Arrakis, Worm eat YOU! What a planet!
Actually, lots of people at college (even traditional students) are married, especially once Jesus is in the picture. I got married my senior year, mainly because my wife's father would have disowned her for "living in sin" (which years later he thought was an awesome idea for her brother, before he married a (clutch the pearls) Jewess). We've lasted nearly 20 years, but I know that's the exception and if I had to do it over I would have said fuck it, let's not get married til we both finish grad school (i.e. never). Still it isn't unheard of or anything.
If they're taking the no sex before marriage thing seriously, my guess is they marry young out of sheer horniness. Especially if masturbation is also bad.
*There's* a winning plan for marital bliss…sheesh…
“I am glad that my husband and I won’t be attending his commencement. Mormonism is not Christianity. My commencement is next year. Hopefully they choose more wisely.”
I so want to be named Provost of Liberty College, just sos I can invite re-elected President Barack Obama next year.
Sounds like a great job-creation plan. It'd take a huge cleanup crew to deal with the mess of exploded heads that'd create.
Maybe Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is available.
Janet Loeffler, a 53-year-old freshman at Liberty, expressed her anger at the decision when contacted by CNN.
"I'm getting my degree in resentment, intolerance and fauxrage."
A Masters in Old People studies.
53 year old freshman? I hope she doesn't flash her tits on the beach during spring break.
53 year old freshman? I hope she doesn't
flashflop her tits on the beach during spring break.Fixed for accuracy
Minoring in "HEY YOU KIDS! GET OFF MY LAWN!"
They should make a movie about a middle aged woman who has never had a drink until she decided to go back to school to get her cashiering degree. They could call it the 53 Year Old Freshman.
Magic plates? That is just weird!
Guy living in a Whale? Well yeah, this is a fact.
So next spring's big production of Pinnochio is safe, then.
To avoid the hint of sexual impropriety, the part of Pinocchio's nose will be played by a Crucifix.
Where's Linda Blair when you need her?
Hey man! That was the JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOZE! Don't blame Liberty U!
As the fundies always say "it was a big fish", as if that makes it more believable.
Party Unity My Overstuffed Pasty White Expedition-Driving Quiverful Ass
I thought we had finally got rid of all the PUMOPWEDQAs.
"My commencement is next year. Hopefully they choose more wisely.” – there's always Hank, Jr.
Better yet, Ted Nugent.
Why not? You don't need to worry about him harassing the students – they're way too old for him
My cult can beat up your cult!!11!!
I'll bet, though, that most of the protesting thumpers will vote for the 'rejected' speaker.
White Mormon trumps black Muslim…
Barely
Right Wing Christian Bat Shit Crazies gotta be right wing Christian bat shit crazy.
Christians gonna hate.
Jerry, we hardly miss ye.
We came to Liberty because of our faith in Jesus; not for political reasons.
SUCKERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
Nor for an education.
Religious education goes in (brain) stupid shit comes out (mouth) never a miscommunication.
God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man sows, that shall he also reap.
Read it and weep, motherfuckers.
My imaginary friend has WAY better superpowers than your imaginary friend.
You seniors think you're depressed about THIS? Wait 'til you have to go interview for a job with Liberty University on your resume. You ain't seen nothin' yet.
Also, you're a cult. Fuck you.
A Liberty U. "education" was gold, while Dumbya was in the White House.
The Liberty University sports teams are known as the "Flames." Perhaps they should consider changing that to the "Pitchfork-Wielding Villagers."
No, there's something "flaming" over there…can't quite put my finger on it, however…
Short for "Flaming Books".
They could be thinking of burnings at the stake.
I think, hearing all of this, that I agree with Peter Pan. The best thing is never to grow up. Because grown ups are stupid.
You call these grown-ups?
Is Tom Cruise available?
OT-VII libel!
Yeah, you got that right, Liberty U! Mitt Romney and Peter Pan are going to burn through Running With the Devil right in yer own auditorium! And they will dance! Liberty U kiddies cannot dance because, as Mitt well knows, dancin is just sex standing up. Let.me.tell.you.something. Mormons dance all the damn time.
On Broadway. Wearing makeup. And flashing jazz hands.
Once again you have buried your lede, if Jerry Falwell has risen from the grave to hand out speaking invitations.
“The only difference between a cult and a religion is the amount of real estate they own.”
–Frank Zappa
The "Flames?" How progressive! I would have thought "the Self-Hating Gays."
Come, now. Can we really blame the fundies getting in a twist because their Tree of Liberty is in danger of getting
wateredbaptized by the presence of a well-oiled weathervane-Warlock? If anything they're being short-sighted about this opportunity. You'd think they'd welcome a fresh new heathen to encircle, laying-of-hands bless, then exorcise the hell out of by beating about the face &neck with Ma Falwell's old groaning board… But neo-evangel's don't embrace the novelty-converts as readily as they used to. It's among the issues that really has me concerned whether the tried-and-true missionary zeal is wearing off the Christian soldiers of Virginia's finest tool schools.On their own terms, they are right: If you're a student at a fundie evangelical Christian college, having a Mormon speak at your commencement is bizarre and offensive. But those are the bedfellows you make when you found an organization called the Moral Majority, 15 years after you were insisting with racist rage that clergy like that communist rabble-rouse Martin Luther King Jr. have no business being involved in politics and social issues.
A Mormon speaking at any university is offensive. I'm just surprised that the Liberty students consider it a university.
I honestly think most of the animus is fundraising jealousy. Most evangelical churches are trailer park affairs, while Mormons get elaborate temples and choirs.
And free or reduced tuition to BYU (if your family has tithed consistently for some number of years). Quite an improvement over 70k in loans to get a Liberty degree.
Now the Moral Miniority….
Regarding MLK, there is a great irony that nowadays (amongst other attempts to appropriate his legacy) conservatives are quick to screech that he was a Republican.
Liberty University… the homeschoolers choice in higher education. Or how to send junior to college and keep him as pig ignorant as when he left.
Having taught at a public college in a relatively rural setting, let me just say that the kids who want to stay ignorant really don't have a problem pulling it off anywhere. But Liberty is a nice cocoon for any kids you might be afraid of losing if you sent them anywhere secular.
the Grace of Jeezus: allowing shitbag Jerry Fallwell to live out his days on earth….
Well I, for one, am glad to see that students at Liberty University are being taught to think critically and keep an open mind.
Oh, when I think about all the money the government's going to have to spend sending these poor kids to reeducation camps. when Obama wins the election.
In the case of these kids, those would be education camps.
Just as members of the RNC predicted Democrat’s are using Mitt’s faith to divide our Nation. Next thing they will try to tell me is that Liberty University isn’t a hotbed of socialism.
Student reaction predictable which begs the question, just how much did Romney campaign contribute to "university" coffers for the commencement speaking gig anyway?
No money, just his immortal soul. But since he doesn't recognize a soul in the Christian theological sense, joke's on them.
I am sure Romney will manage to say something offensive here too, given his track record for the last few months. Maybe we should start guessing on what it will be.
I am going with "some of my friends own Jesus" as my guess.
Anne has a Jeep Liberty–a couple of Jeep Libertys, actually.
Mittie never uses the word, "Mormon", he calls hisself a member of the "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints" or something like that …
Research shows pixie dust is a gateway drug. And a slippery slope. And Pan's an old, bad, earth god…something barbarians worshipped or something. They all danced around the campfire after snorting pixie dust.
And have you seen how that little sexpot Tinker Bell dresses?!
well, in fairness, "Peter Pan" is a psychosexual drama about the onset of puberty, the conflict of traditional sexual archetypes, and unresolved oedipal issues at the heart of family. but, that doesn't seem to be why the people at Liberty University don't like it.
I'm sure Liberty University is OK with the Freudian claptrap, because it confirms that deep down in our grubby little pants, we're all the most disgusting kind of sinners.
Fuck you in your dead skull eye-hole for making me take MItt's side on this, Falwell. Hope that demon's barbed prick up your ass is comfortable.
Why do you give a shit whether or not Mormon Mitt gets shoved down their good Christian throats?
Because one set of stupid religious beliefs are no better than another set. And Christians calling other Christians out for their 'cults'- like beliefs is hilariously sad. Plus, Jerry Falwell was a much more evil person than MItt is.
Right now there is no functional difference between Mitt and Falwell, no matter what Mitt pretended to believe in Massachusetts. And I don't see how Mitt's religious "side" of this is any more noble than Liberty University's. Mitt should go someplace more Ecumenical and talk if he's so desperate, because it's Liberty's core belief that his religion is Satanic.
I can't judge with accuracy what religious "side" , falwaells or mitts is worse and I don't really care. They're both stupid. So when one side calls the other out, I think it's hilarious.
I'm also a gay man who's lived to see 52. I can assure you my hatred is stacked 10-fold for Falwell , and while I despise Mitt, it's nowhere near Falwell levels.
Mormon, Schmorman.
What I want to do is to audit the evolutionary biology course in 'Vaginal vs. Clitoral Orgasm'
Don't these fine Christian Liberty students see that their belief in Jesus' death and resurrection in atonement of their sins is nothing more than clapping their hands and closing their eyes in order to make it true.
Direct from the Romney campaign, here is a list of issues that Romney plans to talk about in his speech at "Liberty" University: Abortion, felching, Cleveland steamers, teabagging, blue plate specials, golden showers, auto-erotica, S&M, dungeons, threesomes, orgies, Playboy, Penthouse, Hugh Hefner and his legacy, Bob Guccione and his legacy, lesbians, gays, same-sex marriage and why it's good, nudity, pornography, bestiality, unicorns, kittens and rainbows.
Then, who will address the commencement at Beck University?
…Because everything ever written, acted, painted, sung or, uh, loved – should be JEESUS.
"Because at Liberty, the Dark Ages – are our ages"
We came to Liberty because of our faith in Jesus; not for political reasons
Yeah, because the fundies aren't political at all!
(If only…)
Those kids are really going to have to apply themselves in English class if they hope to graduate just a year from now.
The Inflation Wingnutz are right–check out the massive inflation of Jerry "I fucked my Mother in an Outhouse" Falwell's head!!!!!
If he stays three days in Lynchburg, he's probably The One.
"We came to Liberty because of our faith in Jesus; not for political reasons." Where to start; where to fucking start…..?
I will reiterate my opinion:
Evangelicals hate momos and cathaholics.
All the repig candidates have been repigs and cathaholics.
This is all a set up to nominate Snowball Snookie at the convention. She's too lazy to do the primary thing, doncha know.
Oh, the Mormen and the Bible-thumpers should be friends.
I think that Mitt should get everyone at Liberty to calm down by Mormo-baptising their dead relatives.
just 700 are freaked out?
meh,also
Jerry Falwell isn't REALLY dead. He's been hiding away at a remote island resort with Michael Jackson, Anna Nicole Smith, and the Enron guy who died just before he was supposed to go to jail.
Pontius Pilate was just standing his ground.
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