WORSE THAN SEEING A MEXICAN  7:24 pm April 22, 2012

Jester’s Reporte: HRH ‘Patty’ Noonington Is A Communist

by Jim Newell

Such uncouthitryGood heavens! This electronick “ABCNews.com” reporte suggesteth that regent-lord HRH Peggington Noonington, chief wordsmithingtonshire of the Wall Street Journal banking pamphlet, is a Communiste, as though She keepeth court with textile-craffters or Chicagoe Africkans.

Her Highness Queen Noonington also doth not beareth the street-commoner name “Patty.” Wereth that her name, She wouldst have killedington’d Herself in the Warr of Spainery Shipps, or perhaps at The Deville’s Cliffs à Do-ver. Thine “ABCNews.com” magicko-light’ning machine must apologizeth to Madame for this dread-full smearity post haste, lest She informmeth her Barrister to proceede a Suit-of-Laws.

[ABC News]

 

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{ 143 comments }

Barb April 22, 2012 at 7:28 pm

Great, now I am going to have a sex dream tonight where Jim has a British accent.

Jim Newell April 22, 2012 at 7:29 pm

oh, sorry, this is a dumb thing I used to do

Bluestatelibel April 22, 2012 at 7:43 pm

A damn funny thing you used to do. Your take-downs of Her Ladyship were the best.

new_pic_for_NEWTer April 22, 2012 at 7:48 pm

Have to agree w/ BSL, I always hear these in a screeching Monty Python drag voice…

GunToting[Redacted] April 22, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Yep, Terry Jones in a housecoat is always how I picture/hear Lady Nooooonnnertonnne.

rsynnott April 22, 2012 at 7:54 pm

Oh, please start doing these again!

petejayhawk April 22, 2012 at 7:59 pm

Holy shit, has it really been THREE AND A HALF YEARS since your last Peggy's World? Time fucking flies, brah.

Jim Newell April 22, 2012 at 8:11 pm

another way to put it is that here I am, three and a half years later, doing the same fucking thing

horsedreamer_1 April 22, 2012 at 8:25 pm

Just be glad you don't teach 8th grade algebra, then. If doing the same thing gets you down.

Boojum April 22, 2012 at 10:37 pm

When it works, DON'T STOP! If'n it ain't broke, don't fix it.

imissopus April 23, 2012 at 12:00 am

And three and a half years later, some of the same people are still here fucking commenting on it.

Barb April 22, 2012 at 8:00 pm

I loved it, don't stop.

HateMachine April 22, 2012 at 11:14 pm

That's not a request, Jim. That's a categorical imperative.

chascates April 22, 2012 at 8:09 pm

No, it's why I keep sending Her Ladyship's column to you!

SheriffRoscoe April 22, 2012 at 8:29 pm

MORE PLEEZ

mayor_quimby April 23, 2012 at 1:29 am

And because of it, I had a drink this evening while watching Dame Noonington on This Week.
She .. Just.. Speaks….. So …. Deliberately…

Negropolis April 23, 2012 at 2:20 am

Isn't it something, then, that she can speak so much and with so much verbage and yet still say so very little? That's a talent. Sarah Palin also has this gift, though, far less refined. Watching Sarah speak is like chimps, typewritters and Shakespeare, like some kind of juxtaposition you'd see at a modern art museum.

One of these days, that woman is going to (accidentally) impart upon us some wisdom for the ages. And, then, surely, it will be the end of time.

ChessieNefercat April 23, 2012 at 6:48 pm

"One of these days, that woman is going to (accidentally) impart upon us some wisdom for the ages. And, then, surely, it will be the end of time."

No. She won't. Time will never end. Eternity is forever. Because Sarah Palin will never, ever, ever, accidentally, or on purpose, impart upon us some wisdom for the ages.

Were she to somehow do so, we would never know, because it could only happen if the universe suddenly contracted upon itself in a huge big-bang-reversing universal fart, in which case we would not even have time to register a startled "huh"?

flamingpdog April 22, 2012 at 10:04 pm

It could be worse, Barb. It could be me having a sex dream tonight where Newell has a British accent.

Barb April 23, 2012 at 12:12 am

I keep having this reoccurring dream where Matthew McConaughey show up at my house and takes me out and buys me a big diamond ring. Then we have a huge wedding. I have NO idea what it means though.

Fare la Volpe April 23, 2012 at 12:49 am

Jeff better step up his game?

redarmyzombie April 22, 2012 at 7:34 pm

Damn autocorrect. This is why you should never write articles on your iphone.

bumfug April 22, 2012 at 7:36 pm

"We chcek everytihng twice – ABC for News You Can Turst".

Beetagger April 22, 2012 at 7:38 pm

The Dame Noonington report will never jumpeth the sharke.

Bluestatelibel April 22, 2012 at 7:39 pm

Let the TREASON trials begin!

mavenmaven April 22, 2012 at 7:40 pm

"underscore who you want to be" Well, for Romney that changes about every fifteen minutes.

BerkeleyBear April 22, 2012 at 7:49 pm

No, Mitt knows he wants to be a charming likeable guy who you can see as President. What changes is his story of why you should see him that way and what he's willing to say to try and get you to see him that way.

Callyson April 23, 2012 at 2:25 am

Didn't the army used to have a slogan "Be all that you can be?" Mittens is merely trying to live up to that idea. In his case, mission accomplished!

EtchySketchy April 22, 2012 at 7:45 pm

Comrade Reagans's speech writer outed? Oh Noes.

The wing-nuts have finally cracked the linchpin in our great Socialist Conspiracy.

OzoneTom April 22, 2012 at 7:45 pm

Wait. When did Peggington become a member of the House Progressive Caucus?

Everything that I know that is worth knowing I have learned from reading Newell's articles.

new_pic_for_NEWTer April 22, 2012 at 7:46 pm

columnist / communist, you say to-may-to and I say to-mah-to…

deanbooth April 22, 2012 at 7:46 pm

She must be a member of the infamous Communist Patty.

EtchySketchy April 22, 2012 at 7:53 pm

I'll have two all-Communist patty's on a Socialist bun!

flamingpdog April 22, 2012 at 10:09 pm

So she's wasn't just a lesbian. I always knew that was a Power to the People fist.

Boojum April 22, 2012 at 10:38 pm

And a noted thespian.

EtchySketchy April 22, 2012 at 7:47 pm

Nice job, ABCNews.com That was a beautifully written piece. You don't often see writing that good, unless it's on Sarah Palin's palm.

Jukesgrrl April 22, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Or a Huffington Post headline.

seppdecker April 22, 2012 at 7:47 pm

Ye Dame Nooningtonne shall command ABCNews.com to cram an aged Crumpette were the Sonne doth not shine. We are not amused!

EtchySketchy April 22, 2012 at 7:50 pm

"The no. 1 goal for Romney ought to be avoiding the fiasco … "

No. 2 actually, no.1 goal is finishing that freckking car elevator in his California home.

V572 Fehrnstrom April 22, 2012 at 8:40 pm

Don't worry. He has "people" who see to that.

Spurning Beer April 22, 2012 at 10:09 pm

Freck, baby, freck!

Pragmatist2 April 22, 2012 at 7:51 pm

Hey! Time out!!!!
What's with all the weekend Wonkette posts?
I need my weekends to catch up on my drinking.

OzoneTom April 22, 2012 at 7:57 pm

You may have missed the recent coup d'etat in which our new overlordrix deposed the late dear leader.

Pragmatist2 April 22, 2012 at 8:01 pm

No. I caught that. But I never imagined that she would actually work on weekends.
Might as well go to law school if you are going to work weekends.

Guppy April 22, 2012 at 8:36 pm

OK, but what's Newell's excuse?

Fukui-sanYesOta April 22, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Who can resist a chance to roll out the Dame Peggington sarcast-o-matic 9000? Not Newell, and a damn good thing too.

Come here a minute April 22, 2012 at 7:55 pm

"Patty" Nooningtonshire is the last of the gin-soaked popinjays.

V572 Fehrnstrom April 22, 2012 at 8:41 pm

But never an ex-Trotskyite, like our late, lamented Hitch. Pretty sure she didn't join the Venceremos Brigade either—too hard on the flawless skin.

Chet Kincaid April 22, 2012 at 8:44 pm

Admit it — she gives you a faint echo of a boner.

V572 Fehrnstrom April 22, 2012 at 8:53 pm

Erectile libel!But I’ll tell you who I saw in an insomniac moment on MSNBC this morning that did:https://www.google.com/search?q=Rula+Jebreal&hl=en&safe=off&rlz=1C1CHFX_enUS431US431&prmd=imvnso&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=NqeUT_OyMeqXiAKtrt0c&ved=0CDYQsAQ&biw=1228&bih=786&sei=OKeUT76kOeWaiAKYjvUVBorn in Palestine, smart as a whip, killer smile, trained as a physiotherapist in Italy, speaks five languages, screenwriter, novelist, journalist…and did I mention physiotherapy? Imagine the massages…

Chet Kincaid April 22, 2012 at 8:54 pm

Oh my.

Aridzona April 22, 2012 at 7:58 pm

Dame Noonington was wont to giveth some Notting Good Head in times of yore.

chascates April 22, 2012 at 8:10 pm

She's probably the most uptight, Pope-loving, Reagan-worshipping commie that ever drew a breath.

chitrade April 22, 2012 at 8:30 pm

Noonan has always been into liberation theology. I remember when she stood shoulder-to-shoulder with those bishops in Nicaragua.

Doh, that was her laughing about the nuns getting killed in Nicaragua. "Sistahs had it coming!"

weejee April 22, 2012 at 8:11 pm

Does this mean Lou Sarah won't be having martinis with Dame Peggington at Bemelman's Bar at the Carlyle?

V572 Fehrnstrom April 22, 2012 at 8:45 pm

Ha ha, remember when Dame Peggington had an open-mic on-air freakout after Panamanian strongman Juan McCain picked Palin? The terms "political bullshit" and "gimmicky" were bandied about.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/09/03/peggy-no

Mahousu April 22, 2012 at 8:17 pm

Oh dear. I assume Allen West outed Patty, er, Peggy, too. He will be positively unstoppable now.

Chet Kincaid April 22, 2012 at 8:32 pm

Damnit, don't type "Allen West outed" and get our hopes up!!

Designer_Rants April 22, 2012 at 9:06 pm

Her Hollywood career is over.

greenide1 April 22, 2012 at 8:21 pm

Wasn't Communist Patty Noonan kidnapped in the '70s by the SLA (Snobs Looting America)?

ManchuCandidate April 22, 2012 at 8:24 pm

You can't spell communist without cunt. Yeah, I said it.

Doktor StrangeZoom April 22, 2012 at 8:25 pm

She's a Syndicalist Communist.

chitrade April 22, 2012 at 8:27 pm

When the Pegster writes in public and breaks it down, telling you to "stay cool and don't fuck this up", you'd better listen, rom-bot.

I'm going to lay money on Willard just cold having a McCain Moment and screwing this one up.

Romney/Bachmann 2012!

(Marcus, natch)

proudgrampa April 23, 2012 at 1:17 am

That would be too good to be true.

Chet Kincaid April 22, 2012 at 8:28 pm

Mitt seems like the kind of guy who would stand around awkwardly while I had a beer, or even just a damned cup of coffee! Douche Upper-Manager That Nobody's Comfortable Hanging Out With 2012!!

chascates April 22, 2012 at 9:02 pm

I think of the 'Executive Baseball League' cartoon where the ball is rolling past one of the executive players and he says "somebody pick that up"!

torera April 22, 2012 at 8:31 pm

But to get serious, guys, DO NOT invest in whatever speech recognition software ABCNews.com is using. Or ABC for that matter.

Designer_Rants April 22, 2012 at 8:59 pm

I believe Siri wrote that.

Negropolis April 22, 2012 at 11:38 pm

Looks like the machines will not be rising, after all.

Radiotherapy April 22, 2012 at 8:32 pm

Whom's skull shall art fucketh?

Negropolis April 22, 2012 at 11:38 pm

I think it's "thou fuckest." lol

MosesInvests April 23, 2012 at 12:30 am

Shalt thou fucke, I would think.

Fukui-sanYesOta April 23, 2012 at 3:11 am

and skulle should be thus

Verily, whose skulle is deserv'd of thy fuckinge?

Serolf_Divad April 22, 2012 at 8:35 pm

I always suspected that the disingenuous bullshit she pens, –punctuated as it is by that ridiculous over-abundance of melancholy sighs betraying the heartfelt earnestness of a middle aged prostitute's mid-afternoon orgasm– couldn't possibly be anything more than a crypto-communist's ploy to make conservatives appear even stupider than we always imagined them to be.

V572 Fehrnstrom April 22, 2012 at 8:47 pm

Really? Pretty sure she believes every word, particularly the superfluous and pretentious ones.

Chet Kincaid April 22, 2012 at 8:56 pm

But as you pointed out, she knew what a fucking disaster the Palin choice was, but soldiered on pretending to back it in public at the time.

V572 Fehrnstrom April 22, 2012 at 9:00 pm

Rula Jebreal would never do that.

Chet Kincaid April 22, 2012 at 9:05 pm

I'll see your Rula Jebreal and raise you a Camilla Vallejo, Communist Student Leader at the University of Chile!
http://www.google.com/search?tbm=isch&hl=en&a
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Camila_Vallejo

I am even on-topic, since she is one red-hot commie!!

Negropolis April 22, 2012 at 11:39 pm

Oh, that was most brilliant, Serlof, most brilliant, indeed.

Blueb4sunrise April 22, 2012 at 8:37 pm
Chet Kincaid April 22, 2012 at 8:43 pm

I am confused. Where are the ladies in angel wings and underwear for me to fap to?!

Blueb4sunrise April 22, 2012 at 8:47 pm

Hmmm, maybe at the Scrapbook under : Additional Resources.

Barb April 22, 2012 at 8:48 pm

Yes, Chet wants those gals with the D-cups and the 12-inch waists.

Chet Kincaid April 22, 2012 at 8:52 pm

What a dreary new collection! I would never order either of those items for Mrs. Kincaid. She'd keel over with heat-stroke in July!!

Blueb4sunrise April 22, 2012 at 9:01 pm

Hey Barb, at the store today I saw a product called Barbara's Puffins.
Know anything about them?

Barb April 22, 2012 at 9:57 pm

The Puffins are tasty and high-fiber cereal. I'd rather have a bowl of Corn Flakes.

Dudleydidwrong April 22, 2012 at 8:53 pm

That explaineth away the signed portrait of V. I. Lenin that hangeth above the canopied bed in which Dame Patty tosseth, turneth, and maketh merry all the live-long day. When I asked about the portrait she shushethed me royally. Now I knoweth that she was, in her day, Lord Lenin's paramour, proving again that politics maketh strange bedfellows and bedladies.

Designer_Rants April 22, 2012 at 8:57 pm

IMPEACHE! Ready the gallows! NEIGH, THE GUILLOTINES! Nooningtonshire must be charged with the ultimate in criminality; HIGH COMMUNAL SKULLFUCKERY!

el_donaldo April 23, 2012 at 12:19 am

You did say communal, right? Because my pants are already down.

donner_froh April 22, 2012 at 9:02 pm

Nothing new here. The WSJ has been a hotbed of treason and treachery for years.

SolitaireRose April 23, 2012 at 6:16 pm

I prefer to think of it as a wretched hive of scum and villainy.

yrbmegr April 22, 2012 at 9:02 pm

Where be-eth the blingee?

Limeylizzie April 22, 2012 at 9:07 pm

I just read that out loud at it was fucking hilarious.

Chet Kincaid April 22, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Darling, you must prepare wax-cylinder pressings of your delightful readings of the Collected Newell Workes of Noonington!! You are the most ideally suited thespian for the task, because your gaze falleth upon the daily life of the Moor about your castle, morning, Noonan and night! I would pay three, nay four shillings by the platter, or 99 cents for a download!

Limeylizzie April 22, 2012 at 9:29 pm

Only if you are the Moor in question…

donner_froh April 22, 2012 at 9:24 pm

You would kill reading it with a cut glass RP accent.

V572 Fehrnstrom April 22, 2012 at 9:08 pm

Although Jim has taken the art of Noonan-ridicule to undreamed-of heights, let us not forget that it was the dear departed Ken Layne who first skewered her so mercilessly and hilariously.
http://wonkette.com/275831/peggy-noonan-saw-a-mex

Has any other writer parleyed one so-so metaphor ("a thousand points of light") into such a lucrative career?

WiscDad April 22, 2012 at 9:10 pm

I love 'journalists' that rely on auto-correct and feel no need to edit their pieces. Reminds me of a mistake a co-worker sent to the entire company with the line "…we apologize for any incontinence'. fucking outlarious

Geminisunmars April 23, 2012 at 11:41 am

I just love these smelling mistakes.

Chet Kincaid April 22, 2012 at 9:27 pm

I would pay fourscore farthings for a magickally 'shoppe-altered Daguerreotype of Dame Peggington Noonington receiving the sternest discipline upon her rosy fundament from a wrought-iron, piston-powered, steam-punke spanking contrivance.

DrunkIrishman April 22, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Allen West won't like this one bit.

SudsMcKenzie April 22, 2012 at 9:31 pm

If we wait by the River long enough, …. we will watch a Newel-Noonan post float by.

Spurning Beer April 22, 2012 at 10:21 pm

Would that be a Newel sample? On Earth Day?

SudsMcKenzie April 22, 2012 at 10:42 pm

ancient Chinese secret.

Jukesgrrl April 22, 2012 at 9:39 pm

I wonder which upset her most, "Communist" or "Patty"? My guess is Patty. If they can't even get the name right, how relevant could she be?

pinkocommi April 22, 2012 at 9:52 pm

Calling Peggy Noonan a communist is insulting to pinko commies like me everywhere.

flamingpdog April 22, 2012 at 10:00 pm

Oh great. I go off for a while, and then when I read the post, I keep going back and forth and back and forth and back and forth to the linked ABC news story to try and find where the fuck they called Noonan a communist before I finally figured out ABC actually corrected the story. Thanks for updating your post, Newell. I better have an extra p tomorrow morning for the aggravation.

Chet Kincaid April 23, 2012 at 12:36 am

Try to keep up, Oldster.

Boojum April 22, 2012 at 10:52 pm

Milady Noonington hath suffr'st most Grievous Libbelle. Churl, pr'parest thou thine An-Sword, as we contest upon the Field of Law!

Jukesgrrl April 23, 2012 at 1:10 am

Thou speaketh some serious Noonington.

Veritas78 April 22, 2012 at 11:03 pm

Some of us are called to Jesus, some to Allah, some to crime or vile debasement.

Happily for us, Jim is called to Dame Peggyopteryx!

(Btw, Ginger — the next season of Noonington Abbey has a cameo by Margie "Dribble-Bib" Thatcher. Pirate previews now out in Hong Kong. HOT!! Especially when the Tony Blair stand-in yanks her dentures out to skull-floss her!)

ttommyunger April 22, 2012 at 11:19 pm

I've watched her, read her and heard her. Don't know which is the more unpleasant experience. Thank God I've never had to smell her. Prolly smells like someone took a dump in a flower shop.

Negropolis April 22, 2012 at 11:20 pm

Ah, Middle English, and English that makes even less sense than modern English.

So glad to see Peggy back in the news, if even not by her own doing…or, maybe particularly because it's not of her own doing. Nobody was really sure if she was from the House of Lords…

BZ1 April 22, 2012 at 11:22 pm

She was blabbering again this morning, going on about something or other, about businessmen being the best to run the country (into the ground?) …

Fukui-sanYesOta April 22, 2012 at 11:25 pm

OT:

Sheriff Joe boasts of racial profiling, is unapologetic.

Jukesgrrl April 23, 2012 at 1:09 am

Well, you know what we say in Arizona, "His remark was not intended to be a factual statement, but rather to illustrate …"

Negropolis April 22, 2012 at 11:31 pm

God help you, ABCnews.com, if you push Dame Nooningtonshire to retreat to her war salon. For the love of everything good and holy, it will all be over if you've cornered her in the war salon. With great trouble, one could survive the onslaught she can write up and unleash from within her drawing room, but the war salon means but sudden, rhetorical death.

flamingpdog April 22, 2012 at 11:46 pm
Jukesgrrl April 23, 2012 at 1:06 am

Yum Foods is Taco Bell and Pizza Hut. If they're leaving ALEC, something is going right no matter what Grandpa Cornpants thinks.

I'm having a houseguest this coming week who drinks nothing but bottled fizzy water of the Evian/San Pellegrino variety. Anyone know which one Coca-Cola owns … I'll buy that.

Fukui-sanYesOta April 23, 2012 at 2:44 am

Coke owns Dasani, which was hastily removed from the UK after being found to be contaminated with bromate.

Amusingly, Dasani is actually Detroit tap water which has undergone some variety of cleansing process. Actually, most of the "big brand" bottled waters use this trick, e.g. Aquafina.

If you want the most bastard sparkling water, it's probably Arrowhead Sparkling – specifically the large "eco-sense" containers. Owned by notorious asshats Nestle and sourced from the Livermore (CA) municipal water supply.

If you buy that, I'll take a whizz in the nearest reservoir to there in your honour.

Negropolis April 23, 2012 at 8:24 am

Motor City libel! I'll have you know that Detroit actually has some awesome tasting, award-winning tap water, good sir!

prommie April 23, 2012 at 9:41 am

Greatest feat of marketing ever; Coke now sells essentially empty bottles, for the same price they used to charge for bottles of coke. Probably use less water then they used to use washing the bottling line.

Radiotherapy April 23, 2012 at 2:17 am

I just splurt a rum and coca-cola onto my keyboard.
Good luck with that one, elected ruminant.

Negropolis April 22, 2012 at 11:53 pm

BTW, totally OT, but it will be so nice to see Lil' Napoleon Sarkozy ousted, though, I am still disgused to see the Geert Wilders and Marine Le Pens of Western Europe continue to poll so well.

sewollef April 23, 2012 at 10:28 am

You and me both, on your last point.

Although I've lived in NYC for nearly 10 years now, I previously lived in southern France [Toulouse], which has a largish Algerian population west of the city [as does several French cities, particularly Marseille.

It's complicated in France.... given their totally amazing resistance fighters and the high esteem they are held in, but part of the problem is, the older generation of Frenchmen that served in the military. They often served in the Algerian war of Independence — a particularly brutal and vicious war.

Much of the racism stems from that, and of course the first thing parents do is infect their children with the same racism the parents have. My ex-father in law lived in a gated upper middle class community in Marseille [a city I love] and he hated the Algerian immigrants. A generally hard-working community with amazing food, restaurants and history.

He was a bigot and probably will vote for Le Pen. We used to argue, since I kept referring to Le Pen, as "that fascist piece of shit". By the way, his daughter [the new leader — or should I say Fuhrer], is the same fascist piece of shit as her father.

It seems the shit doesn't poop far from the asshole….

valthemus April 22, 2012 at 11:56 pm

Unless Peggers is about to go all Bruce Banner and go on a Hulk-style rampage through the streets and buildings of downtown DC over this, I careth not.

flamingpdog April 23, 2012 at 12:08 am

NSFW. Actually, not safe for anywhere. The elephant in the room.

Fukui-sanYesOta April 23, 2012 at 2:49 am

That is just so good. I fucking hate Starkey. He was always a complete condescending, bullying cunt on any Radio 4 program he was ever on.

Chet Kincaid April 23, 2012 at 2:50 am

Does anybody remember the one act of Dame Noonington's that finally left poor Ginger Jim dumbstruck — The Harvard Course?
http://wonkette.com/411274/deleted-peggy-noonan-w

Here is an elucidation from Gawker that doesn't suck:
http://gawker.com/5367203/harvard-students-stop-w

And again, mysteriously not-sucking, Gawker presents a mole lodged deeply in the cleft of Noonington coursework:
http://gawker.com/5378712/peggy-noonan-teaching-a

Fukui-sanYesOta April 23, 2012 at 3:04 am

Damn, John Cook, I remember him at Gawker. He, Newell and Lawson were the only ones who could make that place bearable.

I'm happy to report that she seemed incredibly inebriated

Then the wonkerrati and Dame Peggingstone Nooningtonmobile have at least one thing in common.

BarackMyWorld April 23, 2012 at 2:54 am

Maybe I'm drunk, but I only understood about every 5th word of this post.

Work, booze, work…

Fukui-sanYesOta April 23, 2012 at 4:22 am

OT:

Jon Huntsman talks sense

Jon Huntsman leveled harsh criticism at his party on Sunday evening, BuzzFeed's Zeke Miller reported, comparing the Republican Party to communist China and questioning the strength of this year's presidential field.

Huntsman also spoke on Sunday about his presidential candidacy, revealing that he was less than impressed by his fellow candidates when he attended his first debate in August.

He also joked that his wife forbade him to pander to the party's far-right contingency ahead of Iowa's caucuses, which likely hurt him with conservative voters in the Hawkeye State.

“She said if you pandered, if you sign any of those damn pledges, I’ll leave you,” Huntsman said. "So I had to say I believe in science — and people on stage look at you quizzically as though you're … an oddball."

Haha, speaks Chinese (I forget whether Mandarin or Cantonese – I think Mandarin), was an ambassador, believes in science and is reasonably sane. No place in the modern Republican party.

Negropolis April 23, 2012 at 8:35 am

Ah, a lover scorned. He sure did try to get a seat at their table, even going as so far as to say that the EPA was "terrorizing" the country and back-tracked on anthropogenic climate change. Reap what you sow. Shows how far his party has moved that even the governor of a state as red as Utah (I believe it's in the Top 5), can't even compete in a Republican primary.

Fukui-sanYesOta April 23, 2012 at 12:08 pm

It's honestly scary. Huntsman is a righty mcrightster git on issues, but just couldn't pass the "batshit fucking insane" test.

JustPixelz April 23, 2012 at 7:04 am

Watch out Rebecca, there's another commie girl in the game.

smitallica April 23, 2012 at 9:32 am

So, in "Patty's" expert analysis, Romney should avoid doing something stupid that will cause him to lose?

No wonder she gets paid the big bucks.

prommie April 23, 2012 at 9:39 am

Needs moar Emily Litella. Never mind.

starfanglednut April 22, 2012 at 9:10 pm

Oh now *she's* cute.

V572 Fehrnstrom April 22, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Thank you! Love the first pic, with Fidelista hat and bug-eye shades. But we’d have to try out the massage skills of both to render a fair opinion.

flamingpdog April 22, 2012 at 10:17 pm

I'd hammer (and sickel) that!

horsedreamer_1 April 23, 2012 at 12:45 am

It's moments like these when Augusto Pinochet laments his death & inability both to tighten shackles & maintain an erection.

& the CIA is no help: they demurred when they found out she's laity.

horsedreamer_1 April 23, 2012 at 12:34 am

The AC/DC Theory.

Fukui-sanYesOta April 23, 2012 at 3:07 am

We all seem to resemble that remark.

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