And now is the time when we dance!The Susan G. Komen Foundation tried desperately to distance itself yesterday from the slight to-do that erupted after they partnered with Gulnara Karimova, the Dictator’s Daughter. How’d that go? Pfhhht. Komen wrote on its blog and told Registan’s Nathan Hamm that “their agreement is with, and only with, the National Breast Cancer Association of Uzbekistan” — not Gulnara’s Fund Forum — and that “the bottom line for them is to help fight breast cancer, that they will support international partners who meet their standards.” From Registan:

The Komen representative with whom I spoke suggested the organization had no knowledge of links to Gulnora Karimova and insisted that their partnership was not with her Fund Forum.

Not that terrible Karimova, the ‘most hated woman in Uzbekistan’ according to wikileaked US State Department cables, and a woman who had people imprisoned because their family members wouldn’t date her. No, no, not her at all!

But how could you describe the relationship of their statements to the concept known as “truth”? Like they are boiling the truth in water, maybe? Or maybe just renditioning it? (Just a few stress positions, no torn off fingernails or genital electrocution. Oh wait, yes there are.)

This is how Susan G. Komen partnered with a foundation not led by Gulnara: by partnering with a foundation led by Gulnara. Gulnara is the “Chairperson of the Fund Forum’s Board of Trustees,” and the National Breast Cancer Association of Uzbekistan was created as an organization under the umbrella of the Fund Forum and was “set up” and is “headed by Gulnara Karimova.” When Susan G. Komen signed an agreement this January with Uzbekistan, it was not just with the National Breast Cancer Association: “The fundraising project organizers include Fund Forum, the Women’s Council, the National Breast Cancer Association of Uzbekistan and the NGO ‘Forum of Socially Responsible Citizens of Uzbekistan.’”

Even before the agreement was signed in January, Komen was already getting hot and heavy with Uzbekistan. The Fund Forum was using the SGK logo on a banner on the front of a new cancer treatment building in December of 2011. And you know how SGK gets all suey if anybody even uses the words ‘for the cure,’ let alone their logo.

Then, after the signing in January, SGK sent Donna Sanderson, international ambassador of Susan G. Komen for the Cure (USA), to Uzbekistan to train Fund Forum staff.


But, but… are the people over at SGK as innocent and unaware of Gulnara’s connection to murder and mayhem as they are hoping we will believe? Uh, well, no. Maybe Nancy Brinker, the Bush Bundler, is careful not to show herself in public with any of the Karimov clan, but her society ball buddy and Founding Ambassador to Susan G. Komen, Annie Totah, is not as shy. Totah was one of only a few loyal friends to attend Gulnara’s disastrous New York Fashion Week show at Cipriani in September of 2011, after Gulnara was kicked out of the main venue by show organizers because of protests against Gulnara from human rights organizations (and was too much of a chicken to go to her own show!).

So… In September of 2011 (five months before SGK signed an agreement with the National Breast Cancer Association), if Annie read any of the protest signs (how could she miss them!) shoved in her face by non-slave children while she stood in line to get past the press-blocking body guards outside of Cipriani’s, then she knew all about Dictator Karimov’s forced child-cotton-pickin’-labor used to make Gulnara’s clothes. How do we know Totah was there? Because we read Gulnara’s press release on the Fund Forum website, where she bragged about Totah being there, that’s how.

If Annie Totah’s name doesn’t ring a bell, you might remember that she was an officer of the finance committee for Hillary Clinton’s presidential primary campaign and enhanced her reputation by sending out one of those right-wing chain letter emails to all her influential pals (including her BFF Senator Joe Lieberman’s wife), citing an American Thinker article about Obama being a Jew Hater and a Muslin. (You can sign a petition asking Hillary Clinton to ‘stop murdering motherhood’ in Uzbekistan here.)

Oh, and Wonkette better get our lawyers ready because Gulnara’s sister Lola (L.O.L.A. Lohhhlahhhh) sued France’s independent newspaper ‘rue89’ for calling her a dictator’s daughter (and lost).

And in case you’re looking for something to do, the seventh anniversary of the massacre of hundreds (some say thousands, but they were just women and children, so who cares?) of Uzbeks in the eastern city of Andijan is May 13. We wonder which one of her forced-child-labor gowns Gulnara will wear to the commemoration party? Maybe this one, with the see-through crotch.

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  • nounverb911

    Is SGK still being run by the teabagger Nazi?

  • SaintRond

    I don't know… She's got this vibe I find kind of attractive… I used to like the Shah's wife too, when she was a lot younger. A long time ago I tried to seduce Lee Harvey Oswald's daughter, but she was somehow able to sense my motives weren't completely pure and I was just sniffing around because of her dad.

    I guess I'm just a big pervert, huh?

    • Starfucker!

      • SaintRond

        Totally. But political.

      • Steverino247

        Starfuckers are people, too, my friend.

    • LionHeartSoyDog

      "…she was somehow able to sense my motives weren't completely pure…"
      With a functioning central nervous system, she would have a clue.

    • Tundra Grifter


  • Barb

    This chick makes Kim Kardasian look almost likable.

    • BarackMyWorld


    • KotBR

      Careful, it's a slippery slope.

  • BarackMyWorld

    This is Komen back to bite them in the ass, I see.

  • Pragmatist2

    I believe this is the basis for the Borat sequel.

  • Beetagger

    Can't we just agree that the Komen Foundation is evil and spare us all the inside-baseball Uzbek shite?

  • V572 Fehrnstrom

    There's so much wrong with the idea of celebrity diseases that it's hard to know where to start. Breast cancer's terrible indeed, but the amount of money dedicated to curing it—which may or may not be possible—shouldn't depend on how much publicity it attracts, good or bad.

    The ex-Mrs-V572625694 died at 56 on Feb 11, 2007, of breast cancer, which had also killed her mother, so I feel empowered to say this. Can't we have a rational policy that pursues cures and causes on the basis of risk and reward, instead of how scary this or that disease is?

    The March of Dimes had a near-death experience itself when the Salk vaccine "fixed" polio, but pivoted swiftly to birth defects. That was a close one!

    • Barb

      I am not sure what exactly a "celebrity disease" is, nor do I want to know.
      I am not a fan of the Komen foundation. I find it more of a business than anything else.

      As for the celebrities who bring awareness to any disease, thank God for them! Marlo Thomas is my personal hero and the people at St Jude's are the best!

      Breast cancer is scary. I hope that I scare the shit out of every man and woman here when I say that. I feel empowered to say this as a breast cancer SURVIVOR.

      • sharethegrief

        I love survivors. My mom survived breast cancer twice. Brinker has Founders Syndrome, a nasty disease that robs you of any memory of your mission statement, turning your charity into a vanity project.

        • Barb

          Much love and well wishes to your mom.

      • V572 Fehrnstrom

        A "celebrity disease" is a nominally charitable organization that employs some Jerry-Lewis-like celebrity to draw attention and funds to an organization that takes on a life of its own and survives—as did the March of Dimes—the disease that engendered it. Not saying they don't do any good, only that our decisions as society as to which diseases are researched ought to be made on a rational basis.

        Glad you survived. It's scary indeed.

        • Barb

          The worst thing Komen does is they take donated money and the sue any other charity that mentions "the cure"

          This is great, V.

          By the way, Stephen got named one of Time's 100 most influential people. Isn't that cool? Watch the video in the link and tell me what you think.

          • V572 Fehrnstrom

            Stephen’s right up there in my 100 most-influential people along with you, my erstwhile friend.

          • Barb

            Thanks and back at 'cha!

            I tried to Google the top 100 list to see where Colbert placed and I was too drunky-poo to find it, lol. The Flyers lost and pissed me off.

          • Flyers! I'm not a sporty girl but I was with my big brother in a bar when the Flyers won their 2nd cup in '75 and we all ran out onto West Chester Pike and stopped traffic. Good times! Thanks for reminding me. :-)

  • Watching these people use each other is not a entertaining as it should be.

  • We're going to need more tumbrels.

    • commiegirl

      I had to look up what a tumbrel was. Thank you sir and or ma'am. Now I shall call for more tumbrels fuckin' CONSTANTLY.

      • Biff

        Bring out your dead!

      • You're very welcome. It's such a happy, fun word.

  • CivicHoliday

    PR fail! Good luck with donations for the rest of the fiscal year, SGK. Other than right-wing nutbags and crazy sadist foreign investors, methinks your coffers may run a tad dry.

  • I'm starting to get this idea the Komen foundation is more about networking with the rich and powerful (no matter how shitty they are) then actually helping women with breast cancer.

    BTW that gown is not see thru. I looked at that photo for 15 minutes and I couldn't see anything I wanted to see.

    • James Michael Curley

      Before I read the text I thought the model had had an accident. Lets face it, if there was a photo with a beautiful young women walking toward the camera with a urine stain down the front our intrepid Wonketters would find it.

    • flamingpdog

      Click on the image to enlarge it and get a better picture, pervert!

  • Radiotherapy

    This is getting Kinky.

    • HempDogbane

      That dress could have wrecked their career before it got started.

    • LionHeartSoyDog

      Dedicated Followers of Fashion.

  • AlterNewt

    Maybe someone could start a foundation that seeks to cure sociopaths.

    • That would be tough. Sociopaths have most of the money.

  • Radiotherapy

    This is the War on Komen.

  • sbj1964

    No genital electrocution? Now we know why she can't get a date.

  • flamingpdog

    Luv ya, Lisa, but I'm one of the oldz, and I'm going to end up with arthritis of the right index finger if I actually click on all the linkies you put in your posts.

    • Heheheh. I don't blame you. I get obsessed with backing up what I'm saying. Matbe I should throw some funny links in there as a surprise. :-)

      • flamingpdog

        Aw, I went ahead and clinked on all the links anyway. The last one was the best.

      • LionHeartSoyDog

        Kudos to you Lisa, for all the research.
        Thanks for sharing, and stay strong.

        • Aw garsh. Thanks. I think I'm done with digging up detritus on Komen for now. Off to find something else juicy and obscure. :-)

  • flamingpdog

    NERD ALERT: Is Gulnara any relation to this similarly-named guy?

    • unclejeems

      That explains it. She's a Cardassian who's had a makeover. Those people eat each other after mating.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Ohhhh, Lisa, Lisa, remember when we used to walk along the banks of the Amu-Darya

    and you would read to me from Navadir al-Shabab

    while we drank kumis

    Were we ever so young?

    • As deser-ved punishment, I clicked on every link and memorized all the information.

      • Blueb4sunrise

        Honestly, I intended to link to this story on the Uighurs getting out of Gitmo to El Salvador

        but the Wonkette demons gained control.

        • unclejeems

          Isn't Uighur! the noise you make when you're butted in the crotch by a goat? Maybe not.

  • Steverino247

    You guys have got it all wrong! SGK is trying to raise the President's breast cancer awareness so they're getting involved with Uzbekistani politics in order for the CIA to include their activities and links to Uzbekistani rulers in the President's Daily Intelligence Briefings.

    Or as W might have said in similar circumstances: "OK, you've covered your ass AND raised my consciousness about a serious disease. Now get out of here."

  • Texan_Bulldog

    Uzbekistan hasn't received this much publicity since Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan-Gate.

    Oh, and I used to do the SKG breast cancer walks but won't even use their stupid t-shirts to wipe dog yack off the floor.

    • Abbystinence

      The SKG Foundation gives a new definition to "pink slime"

  • Buzz Feedback

    I'm not smart enough to read these long posts. Also.

  • AtlanticCapers


  • flamingpdog

    Ha, ha, Tashkent's first Ecological Park opened its door's on the site of the former Tashkent Zoo. I wonder if they called in the Nuge to finish off the former residents. Nom, nom, nom!

    • V572 Fehrnstrom

      The opening ceremony kicked off at the entrance to the Park where Uzbek pop stars staged barnstorming performances for the public while finishing touches were being made inside the Park….That night visitors to the Ecopark…had a great opportunity to listen to an exciting song titled Round Run by Googoosha, with a group of participants staging an equally exciting flashmob dance whose simple but energetic moves drew many visitors to join in.

      Round Run by Googoosha's first CD was awesome, but then they went strictly commercial. "Barnstorming" is so former Soviet Union.

  • Guppy

    Looking forward to seeing how her lawyers find a way to sue Wonkett in England and Wales.

  • flamingpdog

    No wonder the bitch is into child labor. She was a Junior Officer, Central Department of Statistics of the Republic of Uzbekistan when she was only 15. She keeps herself busy.

  • flamingpdog

    And you can friend her at Facebook, too!

    • The picture on her Facebook page is more shop than photo.

    • Biff

      9 friends, cool!

  • Travel to beautiful Uzbekistan on an all expenses paid national security rendition vacation where you can take part in "beating, often with blunt weapons, and asphyxiation with a gas mask."

    Don't miss it.

  • Come here a minute

    Susan G. Komen just has one question: Is the donor staunchly pro life? No? Uh, well, how big is the check?

  • From the Komen representative’s reaction when talking to me, the organization appears caught entirely by surprise about the negative reactions they are receiving. Wonkette and Foreign Policy picked up the story…

    Is Wonkette going respectable?

    • Radiotherapy

      Skullfuck Komen with a rusty chainsaw. Does that answer your question?

  • An_Outhouse

    I'm sure Uzbekistan does cutting research on breast cancer and many other diseases. (WTF are these hyenas thinking? Are they that desperate to rip people off?)

  • Callyson

    Meanwhile, for those with the concern and the means to contribute to organizations that actually work on breast cancer:

  • Toomush_Infer

    Pink Ribbon Rendition….actually, as a past E.D. for several non-profits, it always pisses me off how much these folks make and spend on their admins….how do they get away with this shit, when I had to suffer with regular folks pay….what was I doing wrong?….

  • An_Outhouse

    Who knew that women could be so evil? Maybe the war on womynz is justified after all.

  • “I often have to wear suits. I’m not very fond of them and I often transform them; it’s important for me to make sure that my outfit contains a part of my identity: This sort of details reveal my individuality.”
    InStyle magazine, 2010

    Yeah, well that and a transparent crotch will reveal a lot.

  • redarmyzombie

    That's odd. Wasn't the Komen foundation trying to *fix* their image?

    • Biff

      Yeah, this oughtta do it!

  • ttommyunger

    Needz moar tits!

  • MiniMencken

    Gulnara means "flower of the pomegranate." Such a pretty name, don't you think?

  • BZ1

    “the bottom line for them is to help fight breast cancer make money"

  • This post reeks suspiciously of actual journalism. Rebecca, what kind of a shop are you trying to run here? I can't masturbate to this at all!

  • sewollef

    If I may speak bluntly:

    Susan G. Komen Foundation can go shove their [allegedly corrupt] foundation up their collective arses.

    I'm sick to my two back teeth hearing their non-apology apologies and side-steps from the actual truth. Grrr.

    This is what I read on a pissy-wet Monday morning when I had an overlong wait for the Manhattan-bound N-Train, which then had the audacity to sit at Canal Street due to a 'sick' passenger that made me 15 minutes later than normal to work. 15 MINUTES! How dare 'they' get sick!

    And worse… it took me at least 15 minutes to read this whole 'journalism' piece and follow up a few of those juicy links. What on earth is going on? Journalism or something?

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