FANCY MEXICANS  3:03 pm April 19, 2012

Marco Rubio Says He’d Reject VP Offer But Is Maybe Lying?

by Jim Newell

I've got so much cum in my hairMarco Rubio, who insists repeatedly that he has little interest in the vice presidency, continues to accept every fluffy interview that offers him a platform to talk about the vice presidency. Check out this most recent, sorta definitive one with Major Garrett, who asked him, “So, if Mitt Romney asks, you will you say no?” and got the reply “Yes. But you know he’s not going to ask. That doesn’t work. He’s watching this interview right now.” So there it is: Marco Rubio has confirmed that he will say “no” when Mitt asks him to be his first. But what about when Mitt asks him to be Vice President? See, there’s plenty of wiggle room here.

Now that Rubio has directly stated (absurd wiggle-room fantasies aside) that he will say “no” to an offer for the vice presidency, the political media will respond by asking him the same question but a hundred times more frequently. Look, Rubio, you’re part of a fucking narrative we’ve created for the next few months, so please cooperate and don’t give clear answers to anything, okay? Good. Now let’s skip the part where you say, conclusively, that you will not accept an offer to be vice president, and move along to the bullshit mindreading speculation about nothing:

As his interview wound down, Rubio made a bit of a slip when he talked about his future after his career as a vice president, not a senator.

“Three, four, five, six, seven years from now, if I do a good job as vice president, I’m sorry,” Rubio said as he caught himself. “If I do a good job as a senator instead of a vice president, I’ll have a chance to do all sorts of things, including commissioner of the NFL, which is where the real power is.”

Oooh, slip! Gotcha! Marco Rubio totally wants to be VP but would he accept it??? Someone should ask him.

[ABC News]

 

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{ 92 comments }

nounverb911 April 19, 2012 at 3:05 pm

If Marco accepts, will he get his magic underoos out of storage?

tihond April 19, 2012 at 3:05 pm

Rubio also said he's interested in just staying friends with Sally, but did she say he "liked liked him" because if she did, he might be interested in going out on a date, but nothing serious. She should really call him sometime.

Sharkey April 19, 2012 at 3:05 pm

OT for the 'Heads among us: Tonight there will be an awesome movie.

brought to you by Wonkabout

Baconzgood April 19, 2012 at 3:06 pm

Baconz too drunk to comment today. Big wooing clients….etc, etc.

nounverb911 April 19, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Saw this the other day, thought you'd get a kick out of it.
Bacon Coffin

actor212 April 19, 2012 at 3:25 pm
Baconzgood April 19, 2012 at 4:13 pm

I don't think Baconz can have milk and bacon PBJ and vodka……….MAYBE THOUGH?……?

Jukesgrrl April 19, 2012 at 11:33 pm

Why not just cut to the chase? http://www.drinknation.com/drink/bacon-martini

Baconzgood April 19, 2012 at 4:12 pm

I know what I'm going to be planted it now…AWSOME BLING BLING!

ElPinche April 19, 2012 at 3:21 pm

yeah, that was me last week. My corporate card was beast-raped by the client's addiction to titty bars.

AbandonHope April 19, 2012 at 6:57 pm

Do you itemize the particular services the client enjoyed on the expense report? Because if so, that's totally awesome.

ElPinche April 19, 2012 at 7:13 pm

It's itemized as "amenities and services for business purpose," but we all know what that means.

Limeylizzie April 19, 2012 at 3:47 pm

I like my Baconz crispy .

Baconzgood April 19, 2012 at 4:19 pm

Already Limey *in a smarmy voice and a wink* (I really don't know what you said means or my retort means but, here's my try) I'm SOOOOO CRIPSY for YOU!

Does that work for you?

Limeylizzie April 19, 2012 at 5:18 pm

I have no idea what it means , either, I just used to say that when I was a child.

AbandonHope April 19, 2012 at 6:58 pm

…cripsy?

ElPinche April 19, 2012 at 7:16 pm

BakonzFoLife cuzz! *shoots crip gang sign*

ElPinche April 19, 2012 at 9:04 pm
e_z April 19, 2012 at 3:06 pm

Condoleezza, thigh high black boots, Rice. A two fer, black and a woman

SayItWithWookies April 19, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Even better, Condi won't keep anyone in suspense about whether she'll commit war crimes.

Negropolis April 20, 2012 at 1:44 am

Again.

iburl April 19, 2012 at 3:06 pm

Commissioner of the NFL? Condi gonna kick your azz.

coolhandnuke April 19, 2012 at 3:06 pm

There's Something About Marco.

Radiotherapy April 19, 2012 at 3:06 pm

Marco……
Polo……
Marco….

nounverb911 April 19, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Didn't he invent spaghetti?

DahBoner April 20, 2012 at 6:34 pm

Momma mia, that's a spicy meatball!

SockBunny April 19, 2012 at 3:24 pm

He made that Marco Polo joke vis a vis waterboarding at CPAC a couple of years back. Fits him like a glove.

nounverb911 April 19, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Anchor babies can be VP?

Jus_Wonderin April 19, 2012 at 3:13 pm

IOKIYAR

GuanoFaucet April 19, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Alt-text win.

Antispandex April 19, 2012 at 3:09 pm

" Now that Rubio has directly stated (absurd wiggle-room fantasies aside) that he will say “no” to an offer for the vice presidency, the political media will respond by asking him the same question but a hundred times more frequently."

Have you guys been watching how the media treats a certain overweight governor, every election season, by any chance?

EtchySketchy April 19, 2012 at 3:12 pm

By feeding him cheeseburgers?

SwanSwanH April 19, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Wake me when we're back to Bobby Jindal.

nounverb911 April 19, 2012 at 3:13 pm

He's busy baby sitting volcanoes.

EtchySketchy April 19, 2012 at 3:09 pm

When asked if he'd like to take a ride on the roof of Mitt's car, Rubio replied:

"No!

I mean, Yes!

I mean, Woof!!"

actor212 April 19, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Apparently, Rubio lives in a nation where Senators serve for seven years.

nounverb911 April 19, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Cuba?

metamarcisf April 19, 2012 at 3:10 pm

No story here. This is just about waving a tar baby in the air.

RedneckMuslin April 19, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Why does he hate football?

ManchuCandidate April 19, 2012 at 3:13 pm

Where's the Birf Certificate, Marco?

donner_froh April 19, 2012 at 3:13 pm

As his interview wound down, Rubio made a bit of a slip when he talked about his future after his career as a vice president, not a senator

Rubio having any political career shows that Florida wasn't ready for participatory democracy.

Mumbletypeg April 19, 2012 at 3:13 pm

Marco Rubio has confirmed that he will say “no” when Mitt asks him to be his first.

Good eye, Rubio, Mister Resistor! You remembered that such offers to be your "first" qualifies as "gateway interdiscourse," and demurred accordingly. (Did you perchance spend time in school in Tennessee?)

Lascauxcaveman April 19, 2012 at 3:15 pm

Yes, no, maybe. It doesn't really matter much this election year, but sometimes it's hard to tell if a Republican is lying about lying.

redarmyzombie April 19, 2012 at 5:34 pm

And later it gets even harder, when they start lying about lying about lying….

DahBoner April 20, 2012 at 6:31 pm

Exception: CORE DUMP

error: pointer references itself

Jus_Wonderin April 19, 2012 at 3:16 pm

I really do like the cube he invented. Did he have anything to do with Pet Rocks?

Biff April 19, 2012 at 3:23 pm

He was the model.

SayItWithWookies April 19, 2012 at 3:16 pm

The mystery deepens — the question is still unsettled — just like that one about whether smoking causes cancer. Oh, if we only knew.

Negropolis April 20, 2012 at 1:47 am

Of if increased access to firearms leads to more homicides. The jury is still out (not really).

widestanceromance April 19, 2012 at 3:16 pm

He's got VPness all over him. Seriously, he's got more cum in his hair than hair in the cum.

sullivanst April 19, 2012 at 3:17 pm

“So, if Mitt Romney asks, you will you say no?” and got the reply “Yes."

What Marco didn't mention was that immediately after saying "no", he would say "way I'm going to turn that offer down!"

Biff April 19, 2012 at 3:20 pm

"If nominated, I will not accept; if drafted, I will not run; if elected, I will not serve."
// William Tecumseh Sherman

Wile E. Quixote April 19, 2012 at 3:36 pm

I'm more fond of this quote by Sherman.

You people of the South don't know what you are doing. This country will be drenched in blood, and God only knows how it will end. It is all folly, madness, a crime against civilization! You people speak so lightly of war; you don't know what you're talking about. War is a terrible thing! You mistake, too, the people of the North. They are a peaceable people but an earnest people, and they will fight, too. They are not going to let this country be destroyed without a mighty effort to save it… Besides, where are your men and appliances of war to contend against them? The North can make a steam engine, locomotive, or railway car; hardly a yard of cloth or pair of shoes can you make. You are rushing into war with one of the most powerful, ingeniously mechanical, and determined people on Earth — right at your doors. You are bound to fail. Only in your spirit and determination are you prepared for war. In all else you are totally unprepared, with a bad cause to start with.

redarmyzombie April 19, 2012 at 5:37 pm

They had it coming,
They had it coming,
They only had themselves to blaaame…

Doktor StrangeZoom April 19, 2012 at 3:39 pm

"If interviewed, I will not give a coherent answer"

–Sarah Palin

EtchySketchy April 19, 2012 at 3:20 pm

Marc Rubio says "No" to Veep choice because he wants to focus on modeling for shampoo commercials.

FakaktaSouth April 19, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Marco Rubio's Psychic Parents fled Castro more than two freaking years before the coup. We should ask THEM what he's going to do.

OneDollarJuana April 19, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Welllll, Arizona's new anti-abortion law includes fetuses that weren't even conceived yet, so why can't Marco be considered a refugee even though they didn't exist when he came to America?

DemmeFatale April 19, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Smooth, Marco.
Subtle and smooth.

Mumbletypeg April 19, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Between the flyaway hair and the cheeky ambivalence, wouldn't this joker be better off as The Donald's running mate?

Lucidamente1 April 19, 2012 at 3:25 pm

With a little effort, he could be the Sarah Palin of 2012.

nounverb911 April 19, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Rubio's got illegitimate grandchildren?

Sharkey April 19, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Very little effort, in fact.

WhatTheHeck April 19, 2012 at 3:37 pm

A red, 2-piece leather outfit and black pumps could work wonders for him. But will Tina Fey be able to do a good Rubio?

Doktor StrangeZoom April 19, 2012 at 3:28 pm

He's just afraid of the Birthers.

Wile E. Quixote April 19, 2012 at 3:30 pm

When asked if he would be willing to be VP Rubio said, "It’s about Yes — the fiat of a young virgin in Miami.".

mrblifil April 19, 2012 at 3:30 pm

That cunt.

coolhandnuke April 19, 2012 at 3:35 pm

He's promoting his new line of hair products–"Mousselini Just For Men."

Callyson April 19, 2012 at 3:35 pm

I’ll have a chance to do all sorts of things, including commissioner of the NFL

And here I thought Goodell was bad…

bagofmice April 19, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Woooooo! I got this page at 49 comments! No thread collapsing!

Doktor StrangeZoom April 19, 2012 at 3:38 pm

I'm hoping it'll be Santorum, because the debate with Biden would be epic comedy.

Man0nTheStreet April 19, 2012 at 4:24 pm

I was hoping (planning to vote in the ReThug primary) for Cain, 'cos the 2012 Obama- Cain Debates would've produced teh Epic Lulz 4-evar!!!!1!!!

WiscDad April 19, 2012 at 3:43 pm

He's being coy…playing hard to get. You KNOW that bitch would whore himself out in a heartbeat.

Limeylizzie April 19, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Marco is going to be bald in about 4 years.

OneYieldRegular April 19, 2012 at 3:55 pm

"3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34 years from now, if I do a good job as Mitt Romney's husband…"

Biff April 19, 2012 at 4:46 pm

You stole mah magic lottery numbers!!11!

Gainsbourg69 April 19, 2012 at 3:56 pm

My money is on John Thune. The repubs are going to bridge that gender gap with a dreamy, dip shit.

Jukesgrrl April 19, 2012 at 11:36 pm

That sound quite plausible to me. Unfortunately.

outragedcitizen April 19, 2012 at 4:05 pm

Mitt, if you are reading this, I am sorry but I have to say no to the Veep job. Even though you won't ask me, but if you did, well, no, I just couldn't. You're not going to ask me, are you? I mean, well, it would be nice to be asked, but still I wouldn't take the VP position.

But Hey, I understand, Sarah's in between quitting jobs. Also.

Man0nTheStreet April 19, 2012 at 4:21 pm

Well, Rubio was/is a Mormon, so he's still on RMoney's short(bus)-list… but Rubio's not waiting by the phone for Mittbott's call, and his price is "open to negotiation" based on how desperate Mittbott gets…

meatlofer April 19, 2012 at 5:00 pm

Marcooooooooo Rubioooooooooo! ARE YOU READY TO RUMMBLE?

redarmyzombie April 19, 2012 at 5:40 pm

You know, I keep telling myself to to be surprised by whatever new piece of corrupt idiocy these goons come up with, but every time, every single goddamn time they do…Jesus Christ, this is depressing.

redarmyzombie April 20, 2012 at 4:48 am

God Dammit, I meant NOT surprised…

randoracer April 19, 2012 at 6:20 pm

Repugs love their En Ef El. Rushbo, Dennis Miller, Hank Williams (Jr., not the talented Sr. one who drunk hisownself to death rather than live to see how his disgrace of a son would stain the family name), Rubio… It's nothing but episodes of violence punctuated by committee meetings, played by overgrown, steroid-fed cretins who can't think for themselves. It sounds just like the GOP House caucus, in fact. Still can't figure out why W gravitated toward baseball.

littlebigdaddy April 19, 2012 at 6:27 pm

Marco looks rather well-turned-out, if you know what I mean. But, being a Republican, there's no way he's ghey, right?

DahBoner April 19, 2012 at 7:04 pm

I used to like Rubio's tacos in San Diego, but it sounds like they've really went downhill…

owhatever April 19, 2012 at 7:04 pm

Waiting for the poll of the gator-rasslin' community. Its members are having a difficult time signing the word "X" to their ballots.

Come here a minute April 19, 2012 at 9:59 pm

Marco Rubio will do a satisfactory job of losing on Mitt Romneys ticket and make himself well-qualified to run for the top job in 2016 against Hillary Clinton, who is not running in 2016.

Jukesgrrl April 19, 2012 at 11:37 pm

He demonstrated his Republican bona fides by lying.

Negropolis April 20, 2012 at 1:54 am

Ah, the GOP and their carnival of rank phoniness. Every one of their young "stars" is a fraud.

ttommyunger April 20, 2012 at 8:39 am

I'm frankly surprised he'd take that Koch out of his mouth long enough to say anything.

snickersnack April 20, 2012 at 8:11 pm

Newell, when you actually alt text, it's amazeballs.

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