CHOOSY MOMS CHOOSE GRIFT  11:55 am April 19, 2012

Congressional Dems To Mitt Romney: Put Your Welfare Money Where Your Mouth Is

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

let us now praise infamous menHere is something nice to wash the awful taste of this morning out of your mouth: Congressional Democrats led by Pete Stark have introduced legislation graciously allowing Mitt Romney an out on his latest flip-flop (the one where he was for moms after he was against them), by amending federal welfare requirements so parents of young children can stay home with them (and their Cadillacs)! Mitt Romney is invited to join them in plumping for this!

The Women’s Option to Raise Kids (WORK) Act, a copy of which was provided to HuffPost in advance of its introduction, would allow mothers with children ages 3 and under to stay at home with their children and continue receiving benefits.

The act was inspired by the recent kerfuffle, in which the political establishment, from President Barack Obama to Mitt Romney, took great umbrage at the suggestion by Democratic strategist Hilary Rosen that Ann Romney had not “worked a day in her life.”

“All moms are working moms,” Mitt Romney responded [insufferably].

Of course, that wasn’t what he said in January, when he was all “nyah nyah lazy bitches,” but Pete Stark is for taking him at his (latest) word. This is so nice, you guys! Better angels, and cetera!

Of course, this bill will never see the light of day, because somehow it is undoubtedly class warfare. Burn them. [HuffPo]

 
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{ 90 comments }

actor212 April 19, 2012 at 11:56 am

So basically, they want to take money out of the mouths of starving Bain Capital and put it in the mouths of hungry kids?

SOSHULISTS!

nounverb911 April 19, 2012 at 11:58 am

Outsource those kids to China!

nounverb911 April 19, 2012 at 11:56 am

Ann Romney wants to be paid for this retroactively.

actor212 April 19, 2012 at 11:57 am

She can drive her Cadillac to the welfare off—

Oh. My. God!

Barb April 19, 2012 at 11:57 am

The hardest Ann Romney has ever worked has been this last week in trying to convince us that she worked hard.
Let them eat horse cake!

nounverb911 April 19, 2012 at 11:58 am

Hiring nannies and maids is hard work.

actor212 April 19, 2012 at 12:03 pm

It really is. I've seen this movie. Young nubile lady rings the mansion bell and is escorted poolside where a barely-clad couple is enjoying pina coladas in the hot sun, see….anyway, you ought to see them all sweat by the end of fifteen minutes.

donner_froh April 19, 2012 at 12:08 pm

I never got past the first five minutes in a porn movie.

Barb April 19, 2012 at 12:09 pm

All I have to hear is "look, two plumbers showed up" and I am done.

actor212 April 19, 2012 at 12:12 pm

Look, I have to do something until she's gone home…

SorosBot April 19, 2012 at 11:58 am

But only rich white women are supposed to be able to stay home and watch their nannies raise their kids.

anniegetyerfun April 19, 2012 at 12:40 pm

Rich white MARRIED women. Duh. That's why they don't need benefits. They got all the benefits they could ever want*, through their rich white working husbands.

*Includes sexytime.

imissopus April 19, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Sure, if you consider sexytime with Mitt to be a benefit of some sort.

weejee April 19, 2012 at 11:59 am

Are there no workhouses?

nounverb911 April 19, 2012 at 12:15 pm

Wal-Mart?

Maman April 19, 2012 at 1:32 pm

Maybe welfare children can be sold for medical experiments?

DemmeFatale April 19, 2012 at 12:00 pm

Brilliant move, Pete!
(Nice to see at least one Dem with his balls intact!)

anniegetyerfun April 19, 2012 at 12:40 pm

It's only a matter of time before Harry Reid asks him to hand them over.

ChernobylSoup April 19, 2012 at 12:01 pm

Pete Stark just fired the first shot in the Democrats' WAR ON DIGNITY!!!1!

metamarcisf April 19, 2012 at 12:02 pm

A little-known amendment to this bill would require daily liquor store deliveries for all of the moms affected by this legislation.

Biff April 19, 2012 at 12:03 pm

Don't you see, people? Every three years, just like clockwork, those welfare mothers will poop out a fresh welfare anchor babbie just as the warranty expires on the old Cadillac, just you wait and see!

HempDogbane April 19, 2012 at 12:03 pm

My bill was called Families Urged to Care for Kids – Youth: Our Ultimate. It was filibustered to death.

Callyson April 19, 2012 at 12:42 pm

But it did get a thorough examination in several committee meetings…

swordfis April 19, 2012 at 1:14 pm

Is there a Congressional Acronym Committee?

Joey_Blau April 19, 2012 at 1:43 pm

or maybe "jawed" to death would be better.

Data Exactly April 20, 2012 at 12:00 am

Youth: Our Ultimatum. Now let's get this bill back into Congress!

freakishlywrong April 19, 2012 at 12:03 pm

Has the administration twatted it's apology for this yet?

anniegetyerfun April 19, 2012 at 12:43 pm

I'm looking forward to Hannity's shrieking on this topic.

FakaktaSouth April 19, 2012 at 12:03 pm

Now it's time for the Repubs to come out and talk about how this legislation is an obvious discriminatory War on Fathers and vote it down. For Fairness.

actor212 April 19, 2012 at 12:06 pm

While secretly tacking on subsidies for Viagra for any American male over the age of 32 whose workplace address is at the corner of East Capitol Street, NE and 1st NE, in Washington, DC.

AlterNewt April 19, 2012 at 12:03 pm

The "Thumb in the Eye Act of 2012".

DaRooster April 19, 2012 at 12:03 pm

Moms are people too my frien…. oh wait… never mind.

thefrontpage April 19, 2012 at 12:04 pm

But, what does Ted Nugent have to say about this?

Data Exactly April 20, 2012 at 12:03 am

"But, what does Ted Nugent have to vomit about this?"

FIFY.

meatlofer April 19, 2012 at 12:05 pm

Do not discount the poors! They serve their pupose.

actor212 April 19, 2012 at 12:27 pm

Can we use a coupon?

Guppy April 19, 2012 at 12:53 pm

All sales are final!

Dudleydidwrong April 19, 2012 at 1:01 pm

Wait until tomorrow because on Friday they're half off the regular price. Two to a customer, however.

actor212 April 19, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Offer not good in Sectors R or N

Biff April 19, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Who else is gonna sit around all day, commenting on our wonkette?

SayItWithWookies April 19, 2012 at 12:05 pm

Yeah, this'll fly. In a compromise with Newt Gingrich, the mom can stay at home, but the three-year-old kid will have to work instead.

Serolf_Divad April 19, 2012 at 12:05 pm

ANnd why not. According to Ann Romney raising kids is a valid "career choice."

elviouslyqueer April 19, 2012 at 12:10 pm

Lord, has she been listening to Sarah's babbling again? Step away slowly, Ann. S.L.O.W.L.Y.

freakishlywrong April 19, 2012 at 12:18 pm

Indeed. If you're well off enough to not need a "career".

Generation[redacted] April 19, 2012 at 12:06 pm

Mitt counter-offered a bill which would eliminate the capital gains tax for stay at home moms.

JustPixelz April 19, 2012 at 12:07 pm

Mitt supports motherhood. He hates Chevrolet enough to let it go bankrupt. So the big question is: Where does Mitt stand on apple pie? "I like lots of kinds of pie. Apple is a pie. And, you know, Michelle Obama want the government to choose our pie for us."

Guppy April 19, 2012 at 12:55 pm

Followed by an off-hand comment from Ann about Mitt not liking cream pie.

Biff April 19, 2012 at 1:26 pm

We know where he stands on hot corndogs, but what about baseball?

snoopyfan2010 April 19, 2012 at 12:07 pm

Actually a good idea. Sweden does something like this, no?

Blueb4sunrise April 19, 2012 at 12:08 pm

needz moar

attempted murder and aggravated assault

lest any West Coasters not get depressed by skipping over the early threads.

anniegetyerfun April 19, 2012 at 12:45 pm

Thanks, I was up at 6AM, so I'm already full of barbituates and beer.

Biff April 19, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Eh, she got away, that guy's a piker.

Sharkey April 19, 2012 at 12:10 pm

"Plumping" is a word that we do not use frequently enough on Wonkette. Kudos.

Guppy April 19, 2012 at 12:56 pm

I thought the term was "fluffing."

edgydrifter April 19, 2012 at 12:10 pm

There is no flip-floppery here. According to the Willard principle, raising kids is work only if you've never had to work. Poors are bred for menial tasks and degrading labor, so raising kids barely even registers with them. They're like fish–it's scientifically proven they feel hardship and pain less than their moneyed betters.

donner_froh April 19, 2012 at 12:11 pm

Ann Romney would never stoop to taking welfare money to raise her kids. She married a rich guy.

Mumbletypeg April 19, 2012 at 12:11 pm

Burn them, et cetera…
[earlier on wonkette] "Blind nut, squirrel, etc."

I keep seeing this et cetera as a way of abrogating longer, deeper thoughts and conclusions. It is harmless of & in itself but reminds me of my younger niece & nephew's generation using texting shorthand. Just imagine our famous poets of yore, in today's Twitter age, w/ a dose of blasé and a shrug of 'whatevs':

"Truth, beauty, know, need to know, etc." — Keats
"Island, bells toll, don't ask, etc." — Donne
"Er, err, divine, human etc." — Pope
"Pulse, new day, g'mornin'" — Angelou
"Lift eyes, hills, help, etc." — psalmist
"Fourscore and seven, new nation, liberty etc." — Lincoln

elviouslyqueer April 19, 2012 at 12:19 pm

"Tale, idiot, bupkes, etc. Sound, fury, also." — Shakespeare

Mumbletypeg April 19, 2012 at 12:24 pm

They were all before Morrissey's time, of course. He really rocks the etcetera~

IncenseDebate April 19, 2012 at 12:25 pm

Haiku, sparsity, better. You, on to, something, etc.

actor212 April 19, 2012 at 12:22 pm

"Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera," — Yul Brynner

Wait…what?

Serolf_Divad April 19, 2012 at 12:26 pm

Thou shalt not murder, covet, lie, etc.

–God.

elviouslyqueer April 19, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Don't make me come down there, etc. — God (attrib.)

Exhausted66 April 19, 2012 at 12:33 pm

You can't yada yada over the best part!

Guppy April 19, 2012 at 12:57 pm

"God, guns, etc." –GOP platform

Biff April 19, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Pride, joy, etc.–The Turtles

thebeatgoeson April 20, 2012 at 1:24 am

masterful lyric, that. But I love the song anyway – it's swell, just like Elenore!

proudgrampa April 19, 2012 at 3:21 pm

"Not Communist now, Never been a Communist, etc." Any HUAC testimony.

"Refuse to answer, answer might tend to incriminate, etc." Any person invoking 5th amendment.

ifthethunderdontgetya April 19, 2012 at 12:12 pm

The act was inspired by the recent kerfuffle, in which the political establishment, from President Barack Obama to Mitt Romney, took great umbrage at the suggestion by Democratic strategist Hilary Rosen that Ann Romney had not “worked a day in her life.”

Sweet Bipartisanship.
~

WiscDad April 19, 2012 at 12:14 pm

In the projects I grew up in, most welfare moms DID have Cadillacs. Pretty sure many do today too. Therefore Ann Romney is probably a welfare mom.

Guppy April 19, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Is Ann's Cadillac older than she is?

HippieEsq April 19, 2012 at 12:14 pm

You're not understanding the playbook, folks.

Married women raising kids = hard work.

Unmarried women raising kids = lacking dignity.

WiscDad April 19, 2012 at 12:19 pm

Jobless women raising kids = fucking lazy

Homeless women raising kids = Conservative ideal for da poah

Guppy April 19, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Lacking aspirin, also, too.

Biff April 19, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Weak-kneed sluts!

Nostrildamus April 19, 2012 at 12:16 pm

Moral consistency is a gimmick.

ttommyunger April 19, 2012 at 12:16 pm

We are so fucked.

WiscDad April 19, 2012 at 12:20 pm

Touche…let's get a beer

ttommyunger April 19, 2012 at 12:39 pm

Sounds good, but water for me.

Dudleydidwrong April 19, 2012 at 1:05 pm

OK. "Two glasses of water, barkeep, and put a head on both of 'em."

ttommyunger April 19, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Works for me!

Chick-Fil-Atheist™ April 19, 2012 at 12:18 pm

Pete Stark doesn't believe in anything… and therefore he writes legislation outside belief systems. YES I WILL HAVE A NON-BELIEVORGASM

IncenseDebate April 19, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Mitt was Ann's career choice.

widestanceromance April 19, 2012 at 12:28 pm

I love the photo, because you can see the power of freedom people used to have before gay sharia law destroyed us.

Callyson April 19, 2012 at 12:45 pm

Love Pete Stark.

But I must stop myself before I read the HuffyPo article, because the wingnuts will have a field day about welfare queens. Because, you know, bailouts to Wall Street are about saving the economy, whereas assistance to poor families equates to handouts for sluts.

Six and a half more months…

Ducksworthy April 19, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Does this legislation also provide the mommies with cooks, chambermaids and grooms to help with the chilluns?

owhatever April 19, 2012 at 1:06 pm

"I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family." — Bush.

"I have no idea how hard it is for you to put food on your family. Lupita and the kitchen staff take care of that." — Ann.

Gainsbourg69 April 19, 2012 at 3:16 pm

Fuck this. China didn't become a super power by letting mommies stay at home so they could deal with their kids' separation anxiety.

- Teapartypatriot

WonkCynic April 20, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Aw. Wassamatta u? Is da nigga prez da only one dat be allowed to trade HUD vouchers fo votes? Do they require a photo ID for getting a HUD voucher? Maybe dem ghetto bitches can stop by da HUD office on dey way back from votin' fo dey bro.

Biff April 19, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Sadly, it's too easy.

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