Pope Yells at Nuns For Acting Too Much Like Jesus, Not Enough Like Pope

Nazi Pope Joseph Ratzinger is so proud of his image as the CEO of a lucrative club for child rapists who runs around modeling Prada shoes and phallic hats that he is going to celebrate, by scolding some nuns for failing to be enough like the Pope. He ordered one of his henchmen to sneak up on a group of American nuns visiting the Vatican this week and give them a letter informing them generally of their neglect for their fundamental Catholic duty to worry feverishly about other people's genitalia while also ridiculing them specifically for their work advocating for social justice and tending to the poor and sick. Think we're exaggerating even the tiniest bit? Take bets now! (Just kidding. Don't, because that would be foolish.)

From the  New York Times:   

The Vatican’s assessment, issued on Wednesday, said that members of the group, the Leadership Conference of Women Religious, had challenged church teaching on homosexuality and the male-only priesthood, and promoted “radical feminist themes incompatible with the Catholic faith.”

...

Word of the Vatican’s action took the group completely by surprise, Sister Sanders said. She said that the group’s leaders were in Rome on Wednesday for what they thought was a routine annual visit to the Vatican when they were informed of the outcome of the investigation, which began in 2008.

“I’m stunned,” said Sister Simone Campbell, executive director of Network, a Catholic social justice lobby founded by sisters. Her group was also cited in the Vatican document, along with the Leadership Conference, for focusing its work too much on poverty and economic injustice, while keeping “silent” on abortion and same-sex marriage.

Ha ha, the Pope is just Rick Santorum in a moldy toad costume. [ NYTimes; thanks to Wonkette operative "Sinpelo"]