YOU TELL 'EM  10:00 am April 19, 2012

Pope Yells at Nuns For Acting Too Much Like Jesus, Not Enough Like Pope

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

Nothing but top-notch poping from your Nazi Pope.

Nazi Pope Joseph Ratzinger is so proud of his image as the CEO of a lucrative club for child rapists who runs around modeling Prada shoes and phallic hats that he is going to celebrate, by scolding some nuns for failing to be enough like the Pope. He ordered one of his henchmen to sneak up on a group of American nuns visiting the Vatican this week and give them a letter informing them generally of their neglect for their fundamental Catholic duty to worry feverishly about other people’s genitalia while also ridiculing them specifically for their work advocating for social justice and tending to the poor and sick. Think we’re exaggerating even the tiniest bit? Take bets now! (Just kidding. Don’t, because that would be foolish.)

From the New York Times:

The Vatican’s assessment, issued on Wednesday, said that members of the group, the Leadership Conference of Women Religious, had challenged church teaching on homosexuality and the male-only priesthood, and promoted “radical feminist themes incompatible with the Catholic faith.”

Word of the Vatican’s action took the group completely by surprise, Sister Sanders said. She said that the group’s leaders were in Rome on Wednesday for what they thought was a routine annual visit to the Vatican when they were informed of the outcome of the investigation, which began in 2008.

“I’m stunned,” said Sister Simone Campbell, executive director of Network, a Catholic social justice lobby founded by sisters. Her group was also cited in the Vatican document, along with the Leadership Conference, for focusing its work too much on poverty and economic injustice, while keeping “silent” on abortion and same-sex marriage.

Ha ha, the Pope is just Rick Santorum in a moldy toad costume. [NYTimes; thanks to Wonkette operative "Sinpelo"]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 183 comments }

ManchuCandidate April 19, 2012 at 10:01 am

I hate Vatican Nazis.

freakishlywrong April 19, 2012 at 10:16 am

The Devil wears Prada.

Douché April 19, 2012 at 6:58 pm

I believe the pope does as well…

WhatTheHolyHeck April 19, 2012 at 1:17 pm

[snarkoff] The people responsible for this run the Vatican’s Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, which used to be called the Supreme Sacred Congregation of the Roman and Universal Inquisition. As in THE Inquisition. These are the folks who've been badgering American nuns since 2008 with the intent to smack them back into the Renaissance. Even if we'd had a different pope, they'd still be fucking Nazis. [snarkon]

Douché April 19, 2012 at 6:59 pm

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!!!

GunToting[Redacted] April 19, 2012 at 10:02 am

Funny, I thought Rick Santorum was just Rick Santorum in a moldy toad costume.

chicken_thief April 19, 2012 at 10:35 am

Sweater vests aren't nearly as cool as the garb the pope sports.

swordfis April 19, 2012 at 12:38 pm

toad libel. Toads don't even "do it."

actor212 April 19, 2012 at 10:04 am

Hey, nuns abuse children too! Just not sexually as much!

DaRooster April 19, 2012 at 10:23 am

That wouldn't be complained about by the Catholic guys I grew up with.

actor212 April 19, 2012 at 10:27 am

I was thinking more about the ruler across the knuckles, but you're right: that sounds like a good time now.

DaRooster April 19, 2012 at 10:30 am

Hopefully they don't kick the habit…

(buh dum dum)

actor212 April 19, 2012 at 10:31 am

Sister Mary Discipline will set them straight…

Douché April 19, 2012 at 10:05 am

They were then strip searched and given vaginal ultrasounds. That'll learn them uppity bitches for worrying about the poors.

larryfinexx April 19, 2012 at 10:06 am

Maybe one of the nun's husbands will stick up for her and give the pope a lesson he won't forget.

actor212 April 19, 2012 at 10:08 am

Sister Bruno?

ManchuCandidate April 19, 2012 at 10:09 am

Jeebus?

LiveToServeYa April 19, 2012 at 10:51 am

Bingo! He'll get down off that cross and give the High Pontiff a right seeing-to.

thebeatgoeson April 19, 2012 at 11:20 am

One can only hope,,,

actor212 April 19, 2012 at 10:06 am

Clearly, the omniscient God that Jesus is realized 2000 years ago that it was pointless to talk about abortion or same-sex marriage, since his acolytes would obsess about it for him.

Way to go, Son of God!

weejee April 19, 2012 at 10:07 am

Take bets now!

I'll wager Mittens haz $10K to wager.

SorosBot April 19, 2012 at 10:07 am

I do want to thank Pope Ratzi for doing his best to make sure the Catholic Church becomes nothing more than an irrelevant anachronism as quickly as possible.

actor212 April 19, 2012 at 10:10 am

Right? Somewhere in heaven, JPII is going "Dayum¹! Why didn't I think of that?"

(¹ cuz he can't say "Damn," or the Lord might take him up on the offer…)

James Michael Curley April 19, 2012 at 10:16 am

JPII is doing Will Smith's lines?

actor212 April 19, 2012 at 10:21 am

Dude, in heaven, coke flies up your nose! No need for "lines"…

James Michael Curley April 20, 2012 at 10:19 pm

Great!

Guppy April 19, 2012 at 10:55 am
MrFizzy April 19, 2012 at 10:12 am

He's a scary-looking fucker too. I can imagine him in an SS uniform beating on some Jews for not digging their own graves fast enough.

glamourdammerung April 19, 2012 at 10:15 am

He's a scary-looking fucker too. I can imagine him in an SS uniform beating on some Jews for not digging their own graves fast enough.

Funny, he is still wearing the dress when I picture that scenario.

widestanceromance April 19, 2012 at 10:29 am

He always looks so happy to have moved out from under the bridge where he lived, and no longer needs to hunt his own breakfast children.

tessiee April 19, 2012 at 10:50 am

Seriously, he is one evil-looking SOB. His smile in that picture is like, "Ha ha, I told them those were showers!".

Too soon?

mayor_quimby April 19, 2012 at 6:17 pm

Is it too soon to have a Nazi pope? No? Then no, not Too Soon!

glamourdammerung April 19, 2012 at 10:15 am

But he already did that prior to becoming Pope when he setup the Church's policies on aiding child rape.

Chet Kincaid April 19, 2012 at 10:45 am

But the Third World is still their cash cow, right?

GhostBuggy April 19, 2012 at 11:00 am

Rats off to ya, Ratzi!

mmeetoilenoir April 19, 2012 at 10:07 am

Ok, so…let me get this straight. Because these nuns are courageous, stand by their beliefs, accept everyone as equal, and help the sick and poor, they're bad people? Errr, I feel like I've walked into Opposite Land.

This is a whole bunch of nunsense.

actor212 April 19, 2012 at 10:09 am

No no! You misunderstand: rather than follow the teachings of their Church, the nuns are listening to some bearded sandaled hippie freak named HAYSOOZ!

MrFizzy April 19, 2012 at 10:11 am

This is the kind of stuff that gets repubelickins elected to office. Alice in Wonderland.

mmeetoilenoir April 19, 2012 at 11:00 am

Honey, we then went down the rabbit hole and got to China at this point! The sad thing is, those Conservative fools will absolutely LOVE that these women were put in their "rightful" place. I can't, I just can't.

Abbystinence April 19, 2012 at 10:28 am

If the nuns had raped children the Pope would be protecting them, not dissing them!

WhatTheHolyHeck April 19, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Unlikely; they don't have a weener over which to hang an "Out of Order" sign. Nuns have those other thingies that are evil and doomed mankind to sin, etc.

elviouslyqueer April 19, 2012 at 10:08 am

Shorter Ratzie: Get thee to a nunnery, you heathen penguins. And when you get there, STFU and remember your rightful place.

deanbooth April 19, 2012 at 10:09 am

"Nun shall pass!"

actor212 April 19, 2012 at 10:12 am

In Ratzi's case, it might be "Jew shall not pass!"

RedneckMuslin April 19, 2012 at 10:10 am

Needz moar Hitler!

MrFizzy April 19, 2012 at 10:10 am

Is this Pope Larry, Moe or Curly? I can't quite place him. Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk.

Generation[redacted] April 19, 2012 at 10:32 am

Curly died years ago. Now we're stuck with Pope Shemp.

MrFizzy April 19, 2012 at 11:14 am

Best laugh of the week – thanks!

BarackMyWorld April 19, 2012 at 10:36 am
FlownOver April 19, 2012 at 10:10 am

Pope Ratso is now officially beyond snark. Skip the details of the day and just post that pic now & then.

actor212 April 19, 2012 at 10:13 am

He's transubstantial?

FlownOver April 19, 2012 at 10:14 am

Let's leave his surgical history out of this, if you please.

Trannysurprise April 19, 2012 at 10:11 am

HAHA! Welcome to the Vatican GITMO sisters! You're lucky you weren't "renditioned" to Syria first. The Vatican Youth doesn't play your shit of equality, helping the poor, etc. whatever.

JackDempsey1 April 19, 2012 at 10:11 am

After 8th grade, the nuns and I went our separate ways.
We only occasionally cross paths.
They do show up in my dreams more frequently than I would prefer. (Who knew they were such great tap dancers?)

Chet Kincaid April 19, 2012 at 10:33 am
starfanglednut April 19, 2012 at 10:53 pm

wtf? that is AWESOME.

chascates April 19, 2012 at 10:11 am

The War on Women goes global.

actor212 April 19, 2012 at 10:15 am

See, and here I thought we were running a trade deficit…

RedneckMuslin April 19, 2012 at 10:12 am

"Her group was also cited in the Vatican document, along with the Leadership Conference, for focusing its work too much on poverty and economic injustice". The Pope is worse than a Nazi, he is a Republican!

FlownOver April 19, 2012 at 10:16 am

Potato, potato.

Geminisunmars April 19, 2012 at 11:53 am

El papa.

Barb April 19, 2012 at 10:13 am

The Catholics are planning to boycott Jon Stewart? Yeah, let me know how that turns out.
http://ow.ly/anwcW

KotBR April 19, 2012 at 10:16 am

Should go about as well as their 'boycott' of birth control.

FlownOver April 19, 2012 at 10:17 am

About as well as the boycott of birth control, I'd guess.

actor212 April 19, 2012 at 10:18 am

About as well as the War On Contraception.

EDIT: D'OH! Damn you both…….*shaking fist*

tessiee April 19, 2012 at 10:53 am

I upfisted all three of ya'z, just on principle.

glamourdammerung April 19, 2012 at 10:28 am

Keep in mind, this is the same guy that is going after the children that according to him "seduced" those poor priests.

I wish I was making that up.

SorosBot April 19, 2012 at 10:29 am

That's not the Catholics though, that's just The Catholic League. Which is Bill Donahue, by himself.

actor212 April 19, 2012 at 10:34 am

It may be spelled "Donahue" but it's pronounced "Shameless Self-Promoting Manwhore"

EmileZoloft April 20, 2012 at 2:31 am

Hey, at least whores provide something of value.

Barb April 19, 2012 at 10:40 am

Yeah, thanks for the correction there, Soros. Jeff was trying to get a kiss goodbye from me and I wasn't paying attention. I wish he'd come back home. I am tired of his grueling 40 hour schedule.

SorosBot April 19, 2012 at 10:43 am

Aw, it sounds like he's a lucky man.

Barb April 19, 2012 at 10:44 am

I'm the lucky one. He's far more than I deserve.

An_Outhouse April 19, 2012 at 11:35 am

His bank account must be getting low. Its time for some faux outrage to troll for donations.

Shellwith2Ls April 19, 2012 at 12:20 pm

I so proud that Bill Donohue personally protested the Catholic grade school that I went to in Delaware for being all liberal and heathen. Bastard!

starfanglednut April 19, 2012 at 10:56 pm

"Tomorrow we will have something definitive to say, one way or the other."

Can't. Make this shit. Up.

proudgrampa April 19, 2012 at 10:16 am

Fucking pope.

When are people going to start ignoring this creep and his enforcers?

BerkeleyBear April 19, 2012 at 10:40 am

Apparently the problem for these nuns is that they are. Like just about everyone else affiliated with the church that actually does any good with poor and oppressed communities.

SorosBot April 19, 2012 at 10:44 am

Hey, the priests are doing a lot of work in Africa to make sure that HIV-infected people never use condoms.

widestanceromance April 19, 2012 at 10:55 am

What would be the point of using a condom when boinking a virgin to rid one's self of HIV?

Dashboard Buddha April 19, 2012 at 10:17 am

Thank god they're not flying nuns. Ratzy might be a bit rusty, but I bet he can still swing a 8.8 cm Flak with aplomb.

Doktor StrangeZoom April 19, 2012 at 10:18 am

You know who else was “silent” on abortion and same-sex marriage?

elviouslyqueer April 19, 2012 at 10:29 am
Chet Kincaid April 19, 2012 at 10:36 am

Harpo Marx?

swordfis April 19, 2012 at 12:44 pm

win

BarackMyWorld April 19, 2012 at 10:38 am

Jesus….the New Testament guy, not the mows your lawn guy. The mows your lawn guy is probably a "good Catholic."

Doktor StrangeZoom April 19, 2012 at 11:36 am

"Jesus Christ!" is both the answer to and the most appropriate ejaculation in response to this story.

actor212 April 19, 2012 at 10:39 am

I'm pretty sure Hitler was pro-abortion, at least for some of his subjects.

glamourdammerung April 19, 2012 at 10:42 am

Funny how the Catholics never kicked him out for that or those other minor issues.

chicken_thief April 19, 2012 at 10:41 am

Helen Keller?

Spurning Beer April 19, 2012 at 10:45 am

Marcel Marceau?

mrpuma2u April 19, 2012 at 10:47 am

Charlie Chaplin?

sarah_connor April 19, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Ellen James?

tessiee April 19, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Calvin Coolidge?

PeaceWithHonor April 19, 2012 at 10:19 am

Put the nuns on double secret probation.

actor212 April 19, 2012 at 10:35 am

And then send them to my room. For the oral sexing.

Pragmatist2 April 19, 2012 at 10:21 am

These nuns need to start wearing crimson red shoes, like the Pope.
Maybe with a bit of a spiked heel.
Is sling-back too much?

Barb April 19, 2012 at 10:25 am

peep-toed?

Pragmatist2 April 19, 2012 at 10:30 am

Slippery slope.
First the toes, then the ankles. Pretty soon it is naked nuns.

Barb April 19, 2012 at 10:36 am

Oh my! You are a delight to wake up to, thanks!

actor212 April 19, 2012 at 10:29 am

The Church frowns on Louboutins.

ManchuCandidate April 19, 2012 at 10:40 am

The only way you'll get those ruby slippers is by throwing holy water at the wicked witch.

tessiee April 19, 2012 at 10:56 am

Disagree with my fashion sense if you will, but I think red shoes with a black dress is an awesome combination.

Pragmatist2 April 19, 2012 at 10:58 am

It depends so much on the shade of the hose.

tessiee April 19, 2012 at 4:31 pm

I'd go with a sheer taupe for daytime or a sheer gunmetal gray for evening. I don't care for black hose with a black dress unless you're actually going to a funeral.

mavenmaven April 19, 2012 at 10:22 am

"took the group completely by surprise"
No one expects the Ratzi Inquisition!!!

Dr. Nick Riviera April 19, 2012 at 10:23 am

The pope is officially so cartoony evil you could hit him with an acme hammer and he'd just come up accordion shaped.

billy_reuben April 19, 2012 at 7:09 pm

Probably, but we won't know until we try.

Lucidamente1 April 19, 2012 at 10:24 am

And now for a word from Daniel Berrigan, S.J.:

"The hardest task for believing men who are dedicated to their world is not the task of justifying themselves before the world. It is the task of justifying themselves before the Church."

Doktor StrangeZoom April 19, 2012 at 10:25 am

I'll take "Popery" for $500, Alex.

DaRooster April 19, 2012 at 10:26 am

So will they quit?

Hooray!! More strippers!!

actor212 April 19, 2012 at 10:30 am

And they come with their own wimples!

Texan_Bulldog April 19, 2012 at 10:26 am

C'mon, don't you remember the sermon on the mount where Jesus rails against abortion & homosexuals. He probably smote a couple women (aka whores) and a few feminine looking dudes while he was at it.

Chet Kincaid April 19, 2012 at 10:28 am

Why were they surprised?

Dr. Nick Riviera April 19, 2012 at 10:30 am

I know right? How many times can the jack in the box pop out before you start expecting it. My mom's friend worked for our local Diocese for 30+ years. They cut her job and ESCORTED her off premises recently after she was diagnosed with diabetes. They said health insurance was too expensive. The next week they introduced new larger, in color bulletins.

Chet Kincaid April 19, 2012 at 10:44 am

That's really outrageous.

jodyleek April 19, 2012 at 10:47 am

Blessed are the printmakers…

Dr. Nick Riviera April 19, 2012 at 10:55 am

Hey, the weekly bingo schedule looks BITCHIN though

Dr. Nick Riviera April 19, 2012 at 10:28 am

As someone who spent far too much of my time in Catholic school, I can personally attest to the fact that I found nuns to be about 85% less full of crap than priests. They seemed to be more concerned with actual people and their real problems like no food and other such luxuries.

Doktor StrangeZoom April 19, 2012 at 10:38 am

Nuns are to priests as nurses are to surgeons?

Dr. Nick Riviera April 19, 2012 at 10:44 am

You just blew my mind. That's a perfect comparison.

tessiee April 19, 2012 at 4:34 pm

Bingo (pun intended)!

Chet Kincaid April 19, 2012 at 10:47 am

Stupid women!!

comrad_darkness April 19, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Yours lacked the metal edged rulers. Nice childhood.

sarah_connor April 19, 2012 at 2:35 pm

word. and the mental illnessessesses.

EloquentScience April 19, 2012 at 10:29 am

Sister Sanders? Good to hear she's still around. I really enjoyed her song "We Are Family."

tessiee April 19, 2012 at 10:57 am

As well as her delicious fried chicken.

WiscDad April 19, 2012 at 10:29 am

He looks like the Burger King 'creepy king' character. Or is that Boogerer King?

Chet Kincaid April 19, 2012 at 10:46 am

Bugger King.

Mumbletypeg April 19, 2012 at 10:29 am

Some Auden for ya, Ratzi-Asshole:

"O look, look in the mirror,
O look in your distress;
Life remains a blessing
Although you cannot bless.

O stand, stand at the window
As the tears scald and start;
You shall love your crooked neighbor
With your crooked heart."

EloquentScience April 19, 2012 at 10:30 am

"routine annual visit to the Vatican"? Was it a check-up? What were they getting? A Pope smear?

RedneckMuslin April 19, 2012 at 10:36 am
EloquentScience April 19, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Good one. Thanks!

actor212 April 19, 2012 at 10:40 am

He prefers the company of boys.

glamourdammerung April 19, 2012 at 10:31 am

And once again, I am unhappy that we are not having this "war on the Chuch" that was one of the more recent manufactured "controversies".

Though I would settle for some "taxing the PACs" since they keep insisting on functioning as such. Or even some "prosecution of the Church" for that whole child rape issue would be nice.

Dr. Nick Riviera April 19, 2012 at 10:32 am

And at the Vatican too. Nothing makes you feel like a chump like walking around a gold and marble palace while people walk around, hat in hand and ask you for donations.

prommie April 19, 2012 at 10:36 am

Why does the US press pay any attention at all to the fucking Pope? To look at my local paper today, which had 2 huge "Pope says this, Pope says that" stories, we are Pope-obsessed. He is so irrelevant to everyone except his employees. American Catholics have been happily ignoring him for years, not just the liberals, but the conservatives, too, who ignore the teachings on war, the death penalty, and social justice just as blithely as the liberals ignore the teachings on premarital sex, birth control, and divorce.

SayItWithWookies April 19, 2012 at 11:28 am

And any institution that has so diligently practiced harming the innocent and taking the money of the well-meaning and done so little good really does deserve to be shut down and memorialized in the hopes we don't do anything quite so stupid again.

Dr. Nick Riviera April 19, 2012 at 10:37 am

WA priests to Hierarchy: "Cram it with Walnuts, Ugly!" http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2012/04/18/466379/c

Chet Kincaid April 19, 2012 at 10:38 am

About time. Western Orthodox Church schism coming?

Chick-Fil-Atheist™ April 19, 2012 at 10:38 am

Catholics of the world, there is no god. Think about that for a few moments.

–or–

"Ten minutes of logical conclusion can save you 10% of your income by switching to NULL."

BerkeleyBear April 19, 2012 at 10:43 am

Pope Ratzi – trying his best to go back before Vatican II. He'd be a natural fit in the GOP here.

EtchySketchy April 19, 2012 at 10:43 am

Nuns, meh.

If I was Pope, I'd lose the nuns and replace them with naughty librarians.

bringmeanaxe April 19, 2012 at 10:44 am

Thank god I'm an atheist.

tessiee April 19, 2012 at 10:58 am

Careful with that axe, Eugene!

hagajim April 19, 2012 at 10:45 am

This Nazi Pope seems about as adequate a Pope as the Borgia Pope.

freakishlywrong April 19, 2012 at 10:47 am

Why would any woman be a member of a cult that doesn't want her?

BarackMyWorld April 19, 2012 at 10:47 am

I don't like criticizing other people's religions, but I having flashbacks from all the anti-Catholic stuff I learned from growing up in a Pentecostal church.

Chet Kincaid April 19, 2012 at 10:49 am

Pot calling the kettle un-Christ-like.

Millennial Malaise April 19, 2012 at 12:27 pm

They taught us the same in Seventh Day Adventist church (which, for my money, is one of the more reasonable Protestant sects)! Well, it was mostly my grandmother but she would always tell me Catholics were Satanists because they had idols and saints and didn't read the Bible. Granny was crazy but it doesn't take a genius to see that Vatican (Sin) City is rotten to the core.

comrad_darkness April 19, 2012 at 1:54 pm

That's okay, I'm having flashbacks from all the Catholic stuff I was taught growing up Catholic.

glamourdammerung April 19, 2012 at 5:32 pm

I could not care less about their religion, even if I find it a bit silly.

On the other hand, I am pretty displeased about their criminal activities.

starfanglednut April 19, 2012 at 11:02 pm

zactly!

BTWBFDIMHO April 19, 2012 at 10:48 am

Sister Campbell also commented: "And do you know we women love Jesus? Because he was hung like this", she said, while extending her arms.

LiveToServeYa April 19, 2012 at 10:49 am

Don't make His Holiness Palpatine force-choke a nun. "You have paid the price for your lack of vision," he told the Sisters of Mercy.

Dr. Nick Riviera April 19, 2012 at 10:53 am

Somewheres Palpatine is saying "Hey now, I may be evil incarnate but even I don't go around attacking nuns…"

HippieEsq April 19, 2012 at 10:56 am

Were the nuns also cited for not gassing enough Jews?

LetUsBray April 19, 2012 at 10:57 am

I truly don't understand why even a bunch of out-of-touch, creepy old men have decided that the issues of paramount importance to their church are uterus policing and gay bashing. They've hitched their wagon to a horse headed straight to the glue factory, and which promises not even to yield a high-quality glue.

Guppy April 19, 2012 at 10:59 am

A letter was also handed to Jesus, complaining of his not calling the Woman at the Well a slut or telling her to repent, or even to stop sleeping around.

Biff April 19, 2012 at 11:09 am

I've entered Catholic churches exactily twice in my life, once for a funeral, once for a civil service exam. Funerals always suck, no matter the denomination, and I got the civil service job, so both my experiences turned out pretty bad.

Chet Kincaid April 19, 2012 at 11:10 am

"It is time for your annual performance review."
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-5rfXLvTJP1k/Tw5ENKlpkRI

donner_froh April 19, 2012 at 11:36 am

These Network founding nuns are dangerous. They advocate insane things like negotiating with Iran, passing the Violence Against Women Act and stopping mass deportations of migrants. Must be shut down.

An_Outhouse April 19, 2012 at 11:36 am

When I hear "radical feminist", I immediately picture nuns.

GorzoTheMighty April 19, 2012 at 11:40 am

"Your Holiness, Tomas de Torquemada of the Congergation for the Doctrine of the Faith on line 2"

clblabin April 19, 2012 at 11:42 am

I kinda hate it when this shit happens and people say that the Pope isn't acting like Jeeeeesus would have. Jesus was probably a mentally ill peasant who wandered around telling everybody he was God and was about to overthrow Rome. He started to win a few followers, including gullible rich old ladies like Mary Magdalene, so the Romans dispatched him with their usual subtlety and grace. Later, some guys, sensing a good money-making opportunity, stuck a few ancient platitudes into his mouth about being nice to people. We've got to get over this dude, he isn't coming back.

ttommyunger April 19, 2012 at 11:50 am

On a brighter note, this date marks the anniversary of Pope Ratzi's installation, the Oklahoma City bombing, Waco, and the day I made the front page of the Kansas City Star for getting my head caved in with table legs and living to tell about it (l965). I think I'll just stay home today…

Ducksworthy April 19, 2012 at 11:51 am

Yes. Jesus had balls. Nun have balls. Il Papa has tiny withered dried beans in his shriveled nutsack. That explains the problem.

barto April 19, 2012 at 11:53 am

focusing its work too much on poverty and economic injustice

WTF is wrong with these people (that is, the Pope and his pals)? FFS… words fail.

Nostrildamus April 19, 2012 at 12:00 pm

I really can't think of a better man to be the global public face of Christianity.

MarionNYNY April 19, 2012 at 12:27 pm

“I’m stunned,” said Sister Simone Campbell, executive director of Network, a Catholic social justice lobby founded by sisters.

'Course you are, sister. After all, you never know when to expect the Spanish (uh, German?) inquisition.

owhatever April 19, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Women, he thinks. You can't live with them, and you can't kill them. Then he remembers his wonderful boyhood years as a Nazi and sees a way to rid himself and the cult of some of the bitches.

Nopantsmcgee April 19, 2012 at 12:55 pm

The Pope can suck my dick. When he's done with the altar boy.

imissopus April 19, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Sister Mary Ignatius Opens Up A Can Of Whoop-Ass

comrad_darkness April 19, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Silly nuns thinking what Jesus taught has any bearing whatsoever on the church. Oh, sorry The Church. (dun dun duuuuun)

comrad_darkness April 19, 2012 at 1:56 pm

This is more like the church having a war on itself, which would be fun as hell to watch.

user-of-owls April 19, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Popey-head.

comrad_darkness April 19, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Just checking, but it isn't technically Godwin to point out that the pope is a Nazi, right?

teebob2000 April 19, 2012 at 2:53 pm

Only 1 appropriate caption for this picture: "Hehhhh, hehhhh, hehhhh."

tessiee April 19, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Isn't Popey that Catholic sailor man with the very large forearms?

tessiee April 19, 2012 at 4:42 pm

So, I see the Church has taken a break from trying to force people to believe that the Sun revolves around the flat Earth. That's nice, I guess.

Designer_Rants April 19, 2012 at 11:18 pm

The Vatican City Virgins are puttin' the sluts in their place! You go, boys! It's sacrilegious how these nuns work on the front line of poverty and insecurity, and yet they aren't honoring their vows of Bigotry.

LadyWisdom April 20, 2012 at 12:23 am

I think the nuns should get together, elect a pope, and start a competing version of Catholicism that respects women. It's probably the Catholic Church's only hope of existence in 100 years.

Chet Kincaid April 19, 2012 at 10:59 am

However, they are big fans of their fellow Culture Warrior, Stephen Colbert!

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