Whatever. Your editor is a Cubs fan, so there.

Naked Massachusetts Senator Scott Brown has heroically offered his diplomacy services in bringing to a close the bitter century-old rivalry between the Boston Red Sox and the New York Yankees, in the form of a $2,500 contribution from despised Yankees president Randy Levine to Scott Brown’s reelection campaign:

“We’re happy to accept Randy Levine’s donation,” Brown campaign spokesman Colin Reed said. “The way Scott Brown looks at it is, this is their way of paying us back for Babe Ruth.”

Let the healing begin, Boston fans. [Boston Herald]

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  • Barb

    Damn Yankees.

    • nounverb911

      Whatever Lola wants, Lola gets.

  • nounverb911

    Boston still sux. (Randy Levine too, also).


  • Well, see, now if whatsername, Martha Quinn or whatever, had only accepted filthy lucre from the Yankees, I'm *sure* she would have won against Brown

    EDIT: Coakley. As in CRoak

    • Crank_Tango

      JJ Jackson Libel!

      • I was sort of hoping for Nina Blahwood, cuz then we could settle out of court…in my hot tub.

        EDIT: OK, Googled her just to be sure. Yea, I'd do her, but I'd have to go shrimp and close my eyes and remember her as a VJ

    • Boojum

      Or Choke

  • Come here a minute

    I got one thing to say to Boston — Bucky Fucking Dent!

    • As a Mets fan, one of the few joys in my life is reminding my Yankee friends that the Mets did the one thing the Yankees will and can never do: Beat the Sox IN the Series.

      • nounverb911

        We enjoyed watching it anyway.

      • GOPCrusher

        I still hate the Mets for 1969. Although it's misguided. The Cubs choked.

        • BerkeleyBear

          The Cubs always choke. Doesn't matter – Wrigleyville will always be a cash cow.

          • horsedreamer_1

            A gay cow, at that.

      • Ha, ha, ha, "one of the few joys."
        Try: THE ONLY JOY!!

    • boobookitteh

      Ugh. Where's the down-fist?

      • nounverb911

        • Crank_Tango

  • Callyson

    Photo op of Elizabeth Warren in a Red Sox cap in front of Fenway Park telling fans how much she hates the Yankees in 3…2…1…

    • nounverb911

      That's okay, I'll still contribute to her.

  • Nostrildamus

    BoSox need someone young and fresh, like maybe Jamie Moyer.

  • ProgressiveInga

    And then Scotty said, "This is my corn. You people are guests in my corn. "

  • Baconzgood

    Fucking Boston Fans. Try being a Cubs and Pirates fan you whining sucks! AL baseball isn't REAL baseball you fucking DH fuck heads!

    • nounverb911

      Hey, the Yanks gave AJ Burnett to the Pirates for free, what are you complaining about?

      • Has he even made a major league start this year???

        • nounverb911

          He's on the DL, he broke his face when he hit himself in the eye trying to bunt.

          • Yea, that's a freebie alright! ;-)

    • hagajim

      Amen Baconz!

      • coolhandnuke

        Jamie Moyer still swinging the ash at 49, and winning too. Would not see that in the AL.

    • SorosBot

      Besides which, they're the most obnoxious fans of the most obnoxious team in all of professional sports.

      (Well, American professional sports; some European and South American soccer fans may be worse).

      • Biff

        Oakland fans of any sport disagree.

      • BerkeleyBear

        The English Soccer Hooligan Association would like to have a word with you for even suggesting any group of colonists can approach their levels of boorish obnoxiousness. We Americans don't even toss bananas at black players any more.

      • Negropolis

        You're talking about Yankee fans, right?

    • GOPCrusher

      The best thing about being a Cubs fan this year is we don't have Bobby Valentine for our manager.

    • not that Dewey

      No shit. Pitchers who don't bat? WTF is that? If they don't like batting, they should have gone for a sport that only involves throwing, like Jarts.

  • Is Scott Brown trying to get beat up by a Southie?

  • SayItWithWookies

    Wait — Scott Brown's ancestors were enslaved by Babe Ruth? Wow, I was higher than I thought during American history.

  • coolhandnuke

    Does this mean Mitt Romney will donate $2,500 to Elizabeth Warren as payback for New York inventing the dog car-top carriers.

  • Texan_Bulldog

    I don't watch baseball but even I know this is a wanker thing to say.

    • George Spelvin

      More of a wally thing IMO.

  • Indiepalin

    If you are as distraught this afternoon as I am, about the untimely death of rock impresario Dick Clark, then you will enjoy this story from the 1983 Rocking New Years Eve show, which he hosted with Ed McMahon. During an Alpo commercial, American Bandstand’s Dick Clark somehow got his wiener stuck in the cap of a BIC pen. Quickly, the show went back to live. Ever the professional, Dick Clark regaled the audience with an anecdote about Ted Kennedy and that if he would have been driving a Volkswagen that afternoon, he’d be president instead of that cunt Reagan.

    • ttommyunger

      Not that I give a fuck about P scores, but after reading your comment I am truly puzzled. Your disjointed and interstellar take on reality has the unmistakable quality of truly demented snark and should be rewarded accordingly…But then what do I know.

      • George Spelvin

        Mandatory upfist for "disjointed and interstellar take on reality".

  • boobookitteh

    Last week, the GOP incumbent began airing a radio ad heaping praise on Fenway Park [map] and the team owners

    Haha. Silly Scott Brown! We don't like the owners anymore! Keep up with the insanity of Red Sox fans, doofus.

    • Team owners are people too, my friend!

    • Guppy

      Who's more important to pander to: the voters or the donors?

  • hagajim

    Scott Brown apparently thinks Bosox fans don't vote. Taking money from the enemy….hmmm.

    • boobookitteh

      There is also a large contingent of Red Sox fans for whom this will seriously be an issue.

      Boston sports fans are a little nutty.

      • He's even stupider because Coakley insulted Curt Schilling (a Sox Nation legend) during their special election, calling him a Yankee fan, after joking about standing in front of Fenway in the cold, shaking hands. Many people think this gaffe may have hurt her severely.

        • boobookitteh

          The fact that it's the Herald who's calling him out on this is not a good sign.

          Well, for him anyway. For the rest of us, well, keep steppin' in it Scotty!

  • johnnymeatworth

    “The way Scott Brown looks at it is, this is their way of paying us back for Babe Ruth.”

    So does this mean we can start calling him the Sultan Of Twat?

  • Jus_Wonderin

    Did Scott show off the check by stripping nude and strategicly placing the check in his crotch?

  • SayItWithWookies

    Maybe that's not reparation, Senator — maybe that's the Yankees continuing to subsidize failure in Boston.

  • Giveusabob

    So, do we go fax Baby Ruth bars to Brown's campaign office in anger now, teabagger style? That's a lot of candy bars. I think I my fax machine would die of spontaneous angiosclerosis.

    Which I guess shouldn't present too much of a problem in getting a replacement, since the average fax machine owner himself is probably on verge of keeling over from angiosclerosis.

    • Biff

      I'm still waiting to upgrade, as soon as I run out of mimeo ink.

  • Wait, who killed Babe Ruth again?

    • coolhandnuke

      Carl Spackler?

    • Radiotherapy

      Lee Harvey Oswald?

    • Curtiss Candies Co?

    • SorosBot

      I think it was Jack Daniels.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      Some candy bar??

    • larryfinexx

      george Zimmerman

    • LesBontemps

      The Boston Strangler, duh.

    • George Spelvin


    • Negropolis

      'Twas booze what killed the Babe.

      • PuckStopsHere

        Cigars, actually. Throat cancer. He was 53.

    • BklynIlluminati

      Terminal case of being the living embodiment of fun

  • SorosBot

    You know, someone else from Massachusetts has best friends who own sports teams too.

    • nounverb911

      Bill Buckner?

    • Sam Malone?

      • SorosBot

        That gets the win I think.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Dewey, Cheatham, & Howe?

    • GOPCrusher

      John Kerry?

    • ProgressiveInga

      Ben Affleck?

    • horsedreamer_1

      Daniel Okrent?

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Is that when Babe Ruth rode from Long Island to Worcester to protest the witch trials ?

    • Exhausted66

      Strapped to the top of a car, shitting the whole time.

    • Negropolis

      And, on the way he stopped in Stamford to write the Star Spangled Banner on a Waffle House napkin.

  • Antispandex

    Oh, sure, like there is anything that is going to make New York better, or people want to visit Boston. This is reality, not some alternate universe….but still…what is reality? Well, other than that we can all agree it has nothing to do with New York or Boston.

    • George Spelvin


  • Baconzgood

    Ruth was sold for 20K in ('19? '20?) and you got $2,500 for him in 2012? DAMN I'd LOVE for him to lend me money and then ask me to pay it back.

    • Extemporanus

      Actually, the Red Sox sold Babe Ruth to the Yankees in 1920 for $125,000, which — adjusted for inflation — today would be about $1,433,700.

      That $2,500 check has "Republican economic plan" written all fucking over it.

  • larryfinexx

    Babe Ruth could eat lots of hot dogs back int he day because then they had less animal scrotums in them and they were healthier.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      I think we should be thankful for our plentiful bounty of animal scrotums. Though, I fear the future of this trend.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Isn't this how Brown won in the first place, by his opponent not appreciating just how insane Boston fans are?

    • He went full Coakley.

      You never go full Coakley

  • LesBontemps

    New Liz Warren campaign ad: "You gonna let the Yankees tell you who to vote for?"

    • George Spelvin


    • Negropolis

      It's funny, but she could actually win on this, alone. Not sure what it says about Massachusetts, though. lol

  • Wile E. Quixote

    Just leave the "donation" on the dresser, Randy.

  • HobbesEvilTwin

    But what does Ozzie Guillen think?

    • George Spelvin

      Dunno, but I'm sure we'll hear about it soon.

    • Negropolis

      Oh, he just thinks that Hitler was plain swell.

  • LiberalMantra

    Drop your Yanks and grab your Sox, rookies!

  • Dashboard Buddha

    Sort of OT… I had the opportunity to drive around today listening to a minor league ball game on the radio. It was nice actually…all local advertisers and not a screamer in the lot. That is until I heard about a donation program being sponsored by TD Bank North called Strike Out Cancer where they would donate $10 to SOC for each strikeout. Not strike…each strike out. So, by the time I left the car, TD Bank was on the hook for 80 whole dollars!

    Really TD Bank? You couldn't have given them $10 per strike? Or even $5 for each time a player adjusted his jock? You couldn't sidle up to SOC and say, "hey, here's 20 large to help find a cure for cancer, but keep it on the downlow, k?"

    Hell, you still could have written it off your taxes, but noooo, you had to use this tiny sum to trumpet your name to potential customers. Ooooh, look at how generous TD Bank is! The must really "care" about cancer their bottom line.


  • BerkeleyBear

    I know people with PhDs in social work who completely lost their shit over Francona's slightest mismanagement of the Bosox. Taking money from the fucking Yankees is a death penalty offense. And these are nice old ladies in their 60s.

  • rocktonsam

    Since the Yankees and Red Sox are on ESPN every other day, those of us who hate the both of them, still hate them both.

  • Is Scotty taking strategy lessons from Mitt?

  • ttommyunger

    Baseball: meh. Candy bars, mmmmmmmm.

  • Negropolis

    This would be like the NAACP taking a donation from David fuckin' Duke.

    Begun, the Mass Wars have.

  • BklynIlluminati

    As a 3rd generation Yankee fan believe me we hate Randy Levine too. The architect of the Rafael Soriano deal and he constantly undermines Brian Cashman when Cashman is not undermining himself with his affairs with women who are batshit crazy

    • That reminds me: do you remember when SNL had the regular feature "The George Steinbrenner Deathwatch?" So funny!

  • Negropolis

    Is Elizabeth Warren gonna' have to cut a bitch?

  • rickmaci

    Money from a Yankees owner? Really? Jeez, that is not going to go over very well in Bosox land. Look at the pic of that kid. Red Sox fans are born, not made. They hate the Yankees with the first breath of air they draw. I'm not kidding.

  • This is like as if Scott Brown donated KFC or Popeye's and beer to the Boston Pitching staff… although the way they're pitching a bucket of extra crispy might help. Either way as a fan of a non Sox and Yanks team in the AL Beast, I'm enjoying this.

  • elgin_pelican

    Scott Brown/Bill Buckner in 2016! Give the dems the boot!

  • ZHollows

    KBJ, I'm so glad you are a Cubs fan. It's nice to know there are other masochists out there like me!

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