Scott Brown Kindly Accepts Yankees’ Reparation For Babe Ruth In Form of Campaign Donation

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

Whatever. Your editor is a Cubs fan, so there.

Naked Massachusetts Senator Scott Brown has heroically offered his diplomacy services in bringing to a close the bitter century-old rivalry between the Boston Red Sox and the New York Yankees, in the form of a $2,500 contribution from despised Yankees president Randy Levine to Scott Brown’s reelection campaign:

“We’re happy to accept Randy Levine’s donation,” Brown campaign spokesman Colin Reed said. “The way Scott Brown looks at it is, this is their way of paying us back for Babe Ruth.”

Let the healing begin, Boston fans. [Boston Herald]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 111 comments }

Barb April 18, 2012 at 4:34 pm

Damn Yankees.

nounverb911 April 18, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Whatever Lola wants, Lola gets.

nounverb911 April 18, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Boston still sux. (Randy Levine too, also).

18-3? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

actor212 April 18, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Well, see, now if whatsername, Martha Quinn or whatever, had only accepted filthy lucre from the Yankees, I'm *sure* she would have won against Brown

EDIT: Coakley. As in CRoak

Crank_Tango April 18, 2012 at 4:45 pm

JJ Jackson Libel!

actor212 April 18, 2012 at 4:50 pm

I was sort of hoping for Nina Blahwood, cuz then we could settle out of court…in my hot tub.

EDIT: OK, Googled her just to be sure. Yea, I'd do her, but I'd have to go shrimp and close my eyes and remember her as a VJ

Boojum April 18, 2012 at 5:29 pm

Or Choke

Come here a minute April 18, 2012 at 4:35 pm

I got one thing to say to Boston — Bucky Fucking Dent!

actor212 April 18, 2012 at 4:38 pm

As a Mets fan, one of the few joys in my life is reminding my Yankee friends that the Mets did the one thing the Yankees will and can never do: Beat the Sox IN the Series.

nounverb911 April 18, 2012 at 4:40 pm

We enjoyed watching it anyway.

actor212 April 18, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Well, yea! I mean, what did you have to lose? Either way, you got to spend 1987 ragging someone you knew

ifthethunderdontgetya April 18, 2012 at 4:48 pm
GOPCrusher April 18, 2012 at 5:10 pm

I still hate the Mets for 1969. Although it's misguided. The Cubs choked.

BerkeleyBear April 18, 2012 at 6:52 pm

The Cubs always choke. Doesn't matter – Wrigleyville will always be a cash cow.

horsedreamer_1 April 18, 2012 at 7:39 pm

A gay cow, at that.

DemmeFatale April 18, 2012 at 7:43 pm

Ha, ha, ha, "one of the few joys."
Try: THE ONLY JOY!!

boobookitteh April 18, 2012 at 4:39 pm

Ugh. Where's the down-fist?

nounverb911 April 18, 2012 at 4:40 pm

Breitbart.tv?

Crank_Tango April 18, 2012 at 4:47 pm

BigFist.com?

Callyson April 18, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Photo op of Elizabeth Warren in a Red Sox cap in front of Fenway Park telling fans how much she hates the Yankees in 3…2…1…

nounverb911 April 18, 2012 at 4:42 pm

That's okay, I'll still contribute to her.

Nostrildamus April 18, 2012 at 4:39 pm

BoSox need someone young and fresh, like maybe Jamie Moyer.

ProgressiveInga April 18, 2012 at 4:40 pm

And then Scotty said, "This is my corn. You people are guests in my corn. "

Baconzgood April 18, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Fucking Boston Fans. Try being a Cubs and Pirates fan you whining sucks! AL baseball isn't REAL baseball you fucking DH fuck heads!

nounverb911 April 18, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Hey, the Yanks gave AJ Burnett to the Pirates for free, what are you complaining about?

actor212 April 18, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Has he even made a major league start this year???

nounverb911 April 18, 2012 at 4:56 pm

He's on the DL, he broke his face when he hit himself in the eye trying to bunt.

actor212 April 18, 2012 at 4:58 pm

Yea, that's a freebie alright! ;-)

hagajim April 18, 2012 at 4:45 pm

Amen Baconz!

coolhandnuke April 18, 2012 at 4:50 pm

Jamie Moyer still swinging the ash at 49, and winning too. Would not see that in the AL.

SorosBot April 18, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Besides which, they're the most obnoxious fans of the most obnoxious team in all of professional sports.

(Well, American professional sports; some European and South American soccer fans may be worse).

Biff April 18, 2012 at 6:46 pm

Oakland fans of any sport disagree.

BerkeleyBear April 18, 2012 at 6:55 pm

The English Soccer Hooligan Association would like to have a word with you for even suggesting any group of colonists can approach their levels of boorish obnoxiousness. We Americans don't even toss bananas at black players any more.

SorosBot April 18, 2012 at 9:15 pm

The Canadians still do, though, sadly.
http://espn.go.com/nhl/story/_/id/7007219/fan-thr

Negropolis April 18, 2012 at 10:05 pm

You're talking about Yankee fans, right?

GOPCrusher April 18, 2012 at 5:11 pm

The best thing about being a Cubs fan this year is we don't have Bobby Valentine for our manager.

not that Dewey April 19, 2012 at 9:07 am

No shit. Pitchers who don't bat? WTF is that? If they don't like batting, they should have gone for a sport that only involves throwing, like Jarts.

Maman April 18, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Is Scott Brown trying to get beat up by a Southie?

SayItWithWookies April 18, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Wait — Scott Brown's ancestors were enslaved by Babe Ruth? Wow, I was higher than I thought during American history.

coolhandnuke April 18, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Does this mean Mitt Romney will donate $2,500 to Elizabeth Warren as payback for New York inventing the dog car-top carriers.

Texan_Bulldog April 18, 2012 at 4:45 pm

I don't watch baseball but even I know this is a wanker thing to say.

George Spelvin April 18, 2012 at 9:30 pm

More of a wally thing IMO.

Indiepalin April 18, 2012 at 4:45 pm

If you are as distraught this afternoon as I am, about the untimely death of rock impresario Dick Clark, then you will enjoy this story from the 1983 Rocking New Years Eve show, which he hosted with Ed McMahon. During an Alpo commercial, American Bandstand’s Dick Clark somehow got his wiener stuck in the cap of a BIC pen. Quickly, the show went back to live. Ever the professional, Dick Clark regaled the audience with an anecdote about Ted Kennedy and that if he would have been driving a Volkswagen that afternoon, he’d be president instead of that cunt Reagan.

ttommyunger April 18, 2012 at 8:43 pm

Not that I give a fuck about P scores, but after reading your comment I am truly puzzled. Your disjointed and interstellar take on reality has the unmistakable quality of truly demented snark and should be rewarded accordingly…But then what do I know.

George Spelvin April 18, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Mandatory upfist for "disjointed and interstellar take on reality".

boobookitteh April 18, 2012 at 4:45 pm

Last week, the GOP incumbent began airing a radio ad heaping praise on Fenway Park [map] and the team owners

Haha. Silly Scott Brown! We don't like the owners anymore! Keep up with the insanity of Red Sox fans, doofus.

actor212 April 18, 2012 at 5:05 pm

Team owners are people too, my friend!

Guppy April 18, 2012 at 5:08 pm

Who's more important to pander to: the voters or the donors?

hagajim April 18, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Scott Brown apparently thinks Bosox fans don't vote. Taking money from the enemy….hmmm.

boobookitteh April 18, 2012 at 4:48 pm

There is also a large contingent of Red Sox fans for whom this will seriously be an issue.

Boston sports fans are a little nutty.

actor212 April 18, 2012 at 4:55 pm

He's even stupider because Coakley insulted Curt Schilling (a Sox Nation legend) during their special election, calling him a Yankee fan, after joking about standing in front of Fenway in the cold, shaking hands. Many people think this gaffe may have hurt her severely.

boobookitteh April 18, 2012 at 5:15 pm

The fact that it's the Herald who's calling him out on this is not a good sign.

Well, for him anyway. For the rest of us, well, keep steppin' in it Scotty!

johnnymeatworth April 18, 2012 at 4:46 pm

“The way Scott Brown looks at it is, this is their way of paying us back for Babe Ruth.”

So does this mean we can start calling him the Sultan Of Twat?

Jus_Wonderin April 18, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Did Scott show off the check by stripping nude and strategicly placing the check in his crotch?

SayItWithWookies April 18, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Maybe that's not reparation, Senator — maybe that's the Yankees continuing to subsidize failure in Boston.

Giveusabob April 18, 2012 at 4:47 pm

So, do we go fax Baby Ruth bars to Brown's campaign office in anger now, teabagger style? That's a lot of candy bars. I think I my fax machine would die of spontaneous angiosclerosis.

Which I guess shouldn't present too much of a problem in getting a replacement, since the average fax machine owner himself is probably on verge of keeling over from angiosclerosis.

Biff April 18, 2012 at 6:57 pm

I'm still waiting to upgrade, as soon as I run out of mimeo ink.

Sharkey April 18, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Wait, who killed Babe Ruth again?

coolhandnuke April 18, 2012 at 4:55 pm

Carl Spackler?

Radiotherapy April 18, 2012 at 4:55 pm

Lee Harvey Oswald?

actor212 April 18, 2012 at 4:56 pm

Curtiss Candies Co?

SorosBot April 18, 2012 at 4:57 pm

I think it was Jack Daniels.

Jus_Wonderin April 18, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Some candy bar??

larryfinexx April 18, 2012 at 4:59 pm

george Zimmerman

LesBontemps April 18, 2012 at 5:08 pm

The Boston Strangler, duh.

Sharkey April 18, 2012 at 5:25 pm

Winner!

George Spelvin April 18, 2012 at 9:34 pm

BOB.

Negropolis April 18, 2012 at 10:08 pm

'Twas booze what killed the Babe.

PuckStopsHere April 18, 2012 at 11:07 pm

Cigars, actually. Throat cancer. He was 53.

BklynIlluminati April 18, 2012 at 10:09 pm

Terminal case of being the living embodiment of fun

SorosBot April 18, 2012 at 4:51 pm

You know, someone else from Massachusetts has best friends who own sports teams too.

nounverb911 April 18, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Bill Buckner?

actor212 April 18, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Sam Malone?

SorosBot April 18, 2012 at 9:19 pm

That gets the win I think.

elviouslyqueer April 18, 2012 at 5:05 pm

Dewey, Cheatham, & Howe?

GOPCrusher April 18, 2012 at 5:15 pm

John Kerry?

ProgressiveInga April 18, 2012 at 5:22 pm

Ben Affleck?

horsedreamer_1 April 18, 2012 at 7:41 pm

Daniel Okrent?

Blueb4sunrise April 18, 2012 at 4:55 pm

Is that when Babe Ruth rode from Long Island to Worcester to protest the witch trials ?

Exhausted66 April 18, 2012 at 6:08 pm

Strapped to the top of a car, shitting the whole time.

Negropolis April 18, 2012 at 10:10 pm

And, on the way he stopped in Stamford to write the Star Spangled Banner on a Waffle House napkin.

Antispandex April 18, 2012 at 4:58 pm

Oh, sure, like there is anything that is going to make New York better, or people want to visit Boston. This is reality, not some alternate universe….but still…what is reality? Well, other than that we can all agree it has nothing to do with New York or Boston.

George Spelvin April 18, 2012 at 9:35 pm

What?

Baconzgood April 18, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Ruth was sold for 20K in ('19? '20?) and you got $2,500 for him in 2012? DAMN I'd LOVE for him to lend me money and then ask me to pay it back.

Extemporanus April 18, 2012 at 5:22 pm

Actually, the Red Sox sold Babe Ruth to the Yankees in 1920 for $125,000, which — adjusted for inflation — today would be about $1,433,700.

That $2,500 check has "Republican economic plan" written all fucking over it.

larryfinexx April 18, 2012 at 5:00 pm

Babe Ruth could eat lots of hot dogs back int he day because then they had less animal scrotums in them and they were healthier.

Jus_Wonderin April 18, 2012 at 5:04 pm

I think we should be thankful for our plentiful bounty of animal scrotums. Though, I fear the future of this trend.

Lionel[redacted]Esq April 18, 2012 at 5:01 pm

Isn't this how Brown won in the first place, by his opponent not appreciating just how insane Boston fans are?

actor212 April 18, 2012 at 5:11 pm

He went full Coakley.

You never go full Coakley

LesBontemps April 18, 2012 at 5:11 pm

New Liz Warren campaign ad: "You gonna let the Yankees tell you who to vote for?"

George Spelvin April 18, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Rim-fucking-shot.

Negropolis April 18, 2012 at 10:11 pm

It's funny, but she could actually win on this, alone. Not sure what it says about Massachusetts, though. lol

Wile E. Quixote April 18, 2012 at 5:53 pm

Just leave the "donation" on the dresser, Randy.

HobbesEvilTwin April 18, 2012 at 6:11 pm

But what does Ozzie Guillen think?

George Spelvin April 18, 2012 at 9:37 pm

Dunno, but I'm sure we'll hear about it soon.

Negropolis April 18, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Oh, he just thinks that Hitler was plain swell.

LiberalMantra April 18, 2012 at 6:47 pm

Drop your Yanks and grab your Sox, rookies!

Dashboard Buddha April 18, 2012 at 6:55 pm

Sort of OT… I had the opportunity to drive around today listening to a minor league ball game on the radio. It was nice actually…all local advertisers and not a screamer in the lot. That is until I heard about a donation program being sponsored by TD Bank North called Strike Out Cancer where they would donate $10 to SOC for each strikeout. Not strike…each strike out. So, by the time I left the car, TD Bank was on the hook for 80 whole dollars!

Really TD Bank? You couldn't have given them $10 per strike? Or even $5 for each time a player adjusted his jock? You couldn't sidle up to SOC and say, "hey, here's 20 large to help find a cure for cancer, but keep it on the downlow, k?"

Hell, you still could have written it off your taxes, but noooo, you had to use this tiny sum to trumpet your name to potential customers. Ooooh, look at how generous TD Bank is! The must really "care" about cancer their bottom line.

Fuckers.

BerkeleyBear April 18, 2012 at 7:00 pm

I know people with PhDs in social work who completely lost their shit over Francona's slightest mismanagement of the Bosox. Taking money from the fucking Yankees is a death penalty offense. And these are nice old ladies in their 60s.

ManchuCandidate April 19, 2012 at 8:18 am

And Bobby V is causing aneurysms?

rocktonsam April 18, 2012 at 7:53 pm

Since the Yankees and Red Sox are on ESPN every other day, those of us who hate the both of them, still hate them both.

DemmeFatale April 18, 2012 at 7:58 pm

Is Scotty taking strategy lessons from Mitt?

ttommyunger April 18, 2012 at 8:45 pm

Baseball: meh. Candy bars, mmmmmmmm.

Negropolis April 18, 2012 at 10:01 pm

This would be like the NAACP taking a donation from David fuckin' Duke.

Begun, the Mass Wars have.

BklynIlluminati April 18, 2012 at 10:07 pm

As a 3rd generation Yankee fan believe me we hate Randy Levine too. The architect of the Rafael Soriano deal and he constantly undermines Brian Cashman when Cashman is not undermining himself with his affairs with women who are batshit crazy

DemmeFatale April 18, 2012 at 11:09 pm

That reminds me: do you remember when SNL had the regular feature "The George Steinbrenner Deathwatch?" So funny!

Negropolis April 18, 2012 at 10:14 pm

Is Elizabeth Warren gonna' have to cut a bitch?

rickmaci April 18, 2012 at 11:42 pm

Money from a Yankees owner? Really? Jeez, that is not going to go over very well in Bosox land. Look at the pic of that kid. Red Sox fans are born, not made. They hate the Yankees with the first breath of air they draw. I'm not kidding.

ManchuCandidate April 19, 2012 at 8:20 am

This is like as if Scott Brown donated KFC or Popeye's and beer to the Boston Pitching staff… although the way they're pitching a bucket of extra crispy might help. Either way as a fan of a non Sox and Yanks team in the AL Beast, I'm enjoying this.

elgin_pelican April 19, 2012 at 10:45 am

Scott Brown/Bill Buckner in 2016! Give the dems the boot!

ZHollows April 19, 2012 at 10:48 am

KBJ, I'm so glad you are a Cubs fan. It's nice to know there are other masochists out there like me!

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