also: brainz

A Children’s Treasury Of Communist Wisconsin Zombies Mobbing Their Prey, Gov. Scott Walker

Wonkette Operative “obfuscator2″ sends us this thrilling account of rabid Wisconsin Union Thugz being unacceptably Radical, with their “peaceably assembling.”

Hello, you vile leftists! This photo was taken a few hours ago outside the Abraham Lincoln Hotel in Springfield, Illinois (EVERYTHING in Springfield is named after honest abe. Except for the gay bars, ironically).

ANYHOOZLE, Scott Walker was there to speechify as a guest of the Illinois Chamber of Commerce. About three thousand radical marxist trade laborers, teachers, firefighters, and other public sector employees/Union Thugs turned out to welcome Governor Walker and offer a large bag of kettle-cooked chipotle dicks for him to eat.

Breitbart is hereI was fortunate enough to cross paths with this sad creature. He APPEARS to be a James O’Keefe wannabe. He walked nervously through the crowd, taking video footage with his iTabletPad the whole time. I followed him and heard him whisper “now someone is following me” into the tablet’s mic. He used the same tone of voice as that scared woman
with the runny nose in the Blair Witch Project. I was going to warn the people in the general vicinity not to take the bait if faux’keefe (sorry) tried anything, but everyone he spoke to was civil and even friendly. He eventually gave up. Douche-fail.
[Via “obfuscator2″]

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf
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  1. Barb

    EVERYTHING in Springfield is named after honest abe. Except for the gay bars, ironically.

    They make a mean appletini at the Gaybraham Lincoln Bar and Disco Club.

    1. noodlesalad

      Let me tell you that most Americans have been robbed much more often by dbags in three piece suits than kids in hoodies. "I was just standing my ground, your honor. I thought he was going to foreclose on my house and give me a pink slip."

      1. Butch_Wagstaff

        Only a erudite man, capable of coming up with a well-phrased bon mot, can pull off this look. I suspect this gentleman is not that type.

  2. coolhandnuke

    When the O'Keefe acolyte takes off his Sears-off-the-rack three piece suit, he will find a few new cigarette burn holes…he had one more follower than he was aware of.

      1. actor212

        Are you sure? Didn't C. Montgomery Burns have a waistcoat strikingly similar to the one worn by the O'Keefe-a-be in the photo, right down to being made fromgorilla?

        1. hagajim

          Matt Groenig is originally from Portland and just a few days ago he confessed that he based his Springfield on the one in his home state. Sorry to all the other Springfields.

          1. Lascauxcaveman

            You're talking about a show that has mostly bright-yellow skinned people with four fingers on each hand, so I'd sat that its very loosely based on Springfield, OR.

            OTOH, the Springfield/Shelbyville dichotomy pretty clearly reflects Springfield/Eugene. And Eugene kicks Springfield's ass in every possible metric.

          2. Negropolis

            Of course, it's loosely based on wherever it is based on, but the creator announced that it's Oregon and not Illinois like everyone originally mused.

  3. el_donaldo

    I won't rest until gay bars all honor the memory of honest Abe. The hat alone should be inspiration to all men and fanciers of men.

  4. MissTaken

    Is that the stench of virginity at 30 coming off that James O'Keefe doppelganger picture?

    1. MaxNeanderthal

      Yup. Mind you, he has been buggered senseless at his private school (but that don't count, cause he didn't – er- "inhale").

  5. hagajim

    To think that anyone in this world is a James O'Keefe wanna be…holy shit. I think I'd rather be a Krapdashian.

    1. Boredw/Gravitas

      Yes. They used to be just lightly salted; but there's a new southwest flavor twist, apparently.

    2. Gleem McShineys

      I hear Taco Bell is making an entire taco shell out of dicks now! EXTREEME FLAVORRRR

  6. Chichikovovich

    Did the Brietbart guy ask people: "So, did you join a union to shake down your employer for more money? I mean, that's why I joined. A union, I mean – for the shaking-down knowwhatImean. So, you shake down your employer too, right? I can tell by your look, that's a yes. Right? Shakedown action on the boss? For more money? Where are you going? Look, just look in my direction and say 'Yes', and move a step closer when you say it because I'm getting a glare off that rear-view mirror. Why are you looking at me like that? I'm a union guy, like you…."

    1. Jukesgrrl

      A union member should have looked Tucker Carlson, Jr., in the eye and said, "I joined a union to be part of the never-ending battle to get communication majors like you a living wage and save YOUR health insurance."

        1. Butch_Wagstaff

          They had a commentary from that bow tie fetishist on "Marketplace" today. The guy lives in his own bubble that floats on a sea of presumptions

      1. tessiee

        If only there had been a never-ending battle to get English majors like me a living wage.

        1. Jukesgrrl

          I actually joined the National Writers Union back in the day they were supposedly trying to get group health plans for people like us.Right after I paid my dues the guy in charge filed to run against Hillary Clinton in New York's Dem U.S. Senate primary.They still don't have a group health policy.

  7. mavenmaven

    "everyone he spoke to was civil and even friendly." This will be reported on Fox news as a "vast left wing conspiracy of silence".

  8. elviouslyqueer

    Scott Walker was there to speechify as a guest of the Illinois Chamber of Commerce.

    IOW, crossing state lines in order to suck more Koch, amirite?

    1. flamingpdog

      Jezuz, can't the peoplez of Wisconsin be like the peoplez in banana republics and have a coup d'etat while he's out of the state and not let him back in???

  9. donner_froh

    faux'Keefe guy dressed up and made a point of being seeing shooting videos so he could get right wing suck-up points for being there but made sure he was so obviously a plant that no one fell for his dumb game.

    He went in knowing he wouldn't have to argue with anyone or get confronted in any way.

    In other words a punk.

  10. HobbesEvilTwin

    no gay bars named for Abe? oh come on, the Civil War Battle of Ball's Bluff is just, er, hanging there.

  11. SayItWithWookies

    Scott Walker must be so proud — everywhere he goes a huge number of people come out to see him — probably on the off-chance that he'll fall into a manhole — but he just keeps going on creating jobs, undeterred by the publicity. How far along his he on his goal of creating a quarter million jobs in his one term? Something like 16,000? That's alright — he'll make it up next week.

  12. Chichikovovich

    Remember the deposition where one of O'Keefe's former confederates said that O'Keefe had drugged her and tried to keep her in his place, and induce her up to some sleeping quarters where – she claimed (plausibly, I might add) that O'Keefe had taped another female confederate having sex without her knowledge? And the deposition-giver said that she raised a huge fuss and refused to go to the room even though O'Keefe kept urging her, and demanded to be taken back to where she was staying? And then finally some third person she didn't know arrived with a car, and wordlessly drove her to where she wanted to go?

    I think Mr. Incognito up there was that driver.

    1. flamingpdog

      I don't think he's old enough to be a driver. He may be tall, but he looks like he's about 12.

  13. CivicHoliday

    I look forward to the GOP convention when Mittens finally announces Scotty Walker as his VP. The final nail in the coffin.

    Oh, and hooray for obfuscator2, who is a wordsmith of great merit!

  14. Callyson

    “now someone is following me”

    …he said wishfully, strolling to the bathroom stall…

  15. owhatever

    The union thugs shouted "Scott Walker is a great statesman and a wonderful human being," and Walker automatically and emphatically disagreed.

  16. BerkeleyBear

    The Abe Lincoln Hotel is right across the street from the Springfield Hilton. Much nicer facilities at the Hilton generally (although my wife liked the quieter restaurant at the Abe Lincoln) – makes me wonder if it is the CofC protesting against Hilton having (some) unionized locations. Was Aaron "Hot Abs and teal belt, but really I'm not gay (but I am)" Schock able to wander down from his office a couple blocks over? Or was he too busy servicing his true constituents (the actual Koch brothers)?

  17. Slim_Pickins

    Makes sense, the Illinois Chamber of Commerce wants to move its business to Wisconsin because of unions and texas (sic).

  18. Doktor StrangeZoom

    everyone he spoke to was civil and even friendly

    Where's an aggressive penguin when you need one?

    1. BarackMyWorld

      At Hilary Rosen's name to the Obama Guilt-By-Association Hall of Fail, alongside Ayers, Wright, Alinksky, and Hitler.

    2. Radiotherapy

      Nothing has really changed here. We still respect women of all types: moms, working moms, careerists, those who choose, those who choose not to breed, on and on — pretty much 99% of women. And they still have contempt for single mothers, black mothers, poor (lazy) mothers, women who want contraception or the right to control their ladyparts, on and on. Their respect for women is a whole lot less than 99%. And really, they don't give a shit about anything other than keeping Grover pacified and a relentless hating on Obama.

    3. Negropolis

      Did anyone honestly expect that that "flap" would do any electoral damage? I know I sure didn't. I'd sooner think that the Secret Service thingy would hurt him than this, and even that one isn't going to do much damage.

    4. imissopus

      I suspect the vast majority of adults of both genders are smart enough to understand the point Hillary Rosen was trying to make, no matter how inartfully she worded it. This whole flap was just the villagers trying to find something to froth about.

  19. Rotundo_

    Scooter just wanted to go somewhere where a governor facing investigation and possible felony charges is commonplace, to pick up pointers and such. I hope he had time to tip one in honor of Blago and the many that came before.

  20. Monsieur_Grumpe

    The James O’Keefe wannabe appears to be a Muppet which, for the most part, are harmless.

  21. Antispandex

    I like getting updates like this. It is my only source of "news". Of course, I plan it that way. I am not very hip, or curious, to be honest. He was mobbed. He didn't like it. Huh. By the time I found out what flash mobbing was, my kids were telling me I was hopelessly on my way to the home, because it "was so last year". (SIGH) I think I shall go read Huxley and contemplate the unimportant.

      1. Fukui-sanYesOta

        alan furst is my go-to escapism, but sometimes I'll crack Dumas for a rollicking tale of revenge

    1. Fukui-sanYesOta

      Instagram *pisses me the fuck off*

      It's some filters nicked from an open source project and glued into an (admittedly slick) set of smartphone apps.

      1Bn? It makes me want to punch people in the face. I could "write" that shit in two weeks, knowing that I was standing on the shoulders of proper academic research.

      That Facebook paid so much money gives me the idea that they really don't know what the fuck they're doing, and that they'll die like myspace in the next five years when the next trendy social networking site comes along.

      Fukui-rating: avoid the IPO, because every cunt will cash out and leave you holding the bag if you invest.

  22. sbj1964

    The BartBots have nothing better to do now that Andrew faked his own death to get away from those asswipes.Andy is now a female impersonator in Key West fla.Living his dream.

  23. johnnymeatworth

    No gay bars named after Honest Abe??? Dibs on "Logsplitter's" franchises in Illinois!

  24. ElPinche

    Mmmmmm kettle-cooked chipotle dicks…..tastes like …..home.

    I like that this post promptly tagged under douches and brains.

  25. ElPinche

    Douche's boss: "This is real shit. This video is pure shit. "
    Douche: "It's good shit, right? "
    Douche's boss: " I mean bad shit. "
    Douche: "Bad shit like, 'this shit is bad?'"
    Douche's boss: "It's shit shit. This video isn't worth shit. . You're fired"
    Douche: "shit."

    1. Butch_Wagstaff

      Then the Douche has to go to the vintage clothing store to put his outfit on consignment.
      It's hard times even for O'Keefe-wannabees.

  26. not that Dewey

    My dad lives in Springfield, went to Barry's Feb 08 "declaration of candidacy" ceremony; he even sent me a button. He didn't mention anything about gay bars.

  27. Boojum

    Sometimes I wonder if I'm having a psychotic break. I mean, all of the politicians on the right are either robots or lizard people and now I see a lizard robot.

    I think I'll have a shot of Haldol with a Thorazine back.

  28. Dudleydidwrong

    Wisconsin Zombies mobbing prey Scott Walker? Can't happen. Zombies eat brains and even the dumbest, deadest zombie knows Walker is severely lacking in that vital area.

    And is that third picture of a transvaginal ultrasound wand? Never saw one dressed up before, but I guess Wisconsin has everything.

      1. extreme_left

        ahh and here I was thinking he was stupid with the bow tie and all cos I know I have to beat liberal sluts back 24/7.

  29. MadBrahms

    Your solidarity will be remembered, Illinois. Free porn and fireworks on I-94 for everyone!

    1. fuflans

      probably wanted to be sure his pasty white ass got wiped by union thugs.

      or possibly he is a young actor hoping to get a ride to chicago?

      1. Fare la Volpe

        My mouth tastes like dick and even I wouldn't wear that.

        Fuck college Republicans. They're like hipsters sans irony.

        1. Radiotherapy

          Tx for appreciating this connotation of the "G" word. Maybe there is a better word to describe this gauche fashion attempt, but you know I was just snarking.
          Most importantly, I agree with your disdain for the Young Fucknuts, I've despised them since I first saw them at Ohio State years ago.

          1. Fare la Volpe

            Oh pshaw. I use "gay" as an insult more than any human alive, and always with a heaping helping of irony. I'd never assume a Wonketteer used that word with anything less than tongue (or otherwise) firmly planted in cheek.

    2. Fukui-sanYesOta

      Shocking, isn't it? Also, look at the cut of the damn thing. Those sleeves are way long for his little t-rex arms.

      I'm glad he didn't get a kicking at this event, but the fellow looks long overdue for one.

      1. Fare la Volpe

        It's clearly his daddy's coat. He figures if he votes Republican and puts his dick in a woman instead of a boy then maybe daddy will finally love him.

        Spoiler: He won't.

        1. Fukui-sanYesOta

          His daddy will never forgive him for majoring in "Communication and Technology Studies" at Sacred Heart and then turning into the biggest loser he'd ever seen.

          Bow-tie-boi is set for a life of closeted despair. The irony is that if he'd accepted his sexuality earlier then he wouldn't even need to pretend that he's an establishment paragon.

          It's a reward for liberals.

  30. Butch_Wagstaff

    I always thought those type of t-shirts should say: "These colors don't run. But they do stretch!"

  31. fuflans

    hello darling neighbor states of IL:

    so we know you love to hate us. we know we are the floozy of the midwest with our 'chicago' and our 'backward river' and our 'blues' and our 'worst state credit rating in the nation'.

    we can't help it that we're beautiful.

    but here's a dirty little secret: they can't – won't – quit us. not even that two-timing IL chamber of commerce. daddy will be back in our sweet sweet lake front bauhaus pad just right after he gets over that 2 dollar bender you gave him at the kenosha chik-fil-a cheese and beer shack.

    darlin, i'm not saying this to be mean, i'm only sayin because i love you and just don't want you to get hurt.

    also – and i hate to bring this up darlin – but rahm is waiting.

    so…just think it over…take as much time as you need, the weekend, wednesday.

    anyway, love you! hope that new scott guy is working out and hope you are tots fabulously in love 4eveh!!!


  32. comrad_darkness

    My take-away from this is that Wisconsinites are just dying to get out of the state for any reason?

  33. iburl

    Koch goblin Scott Walker would make more money doing something else, he just wants all of you to know that, OK?

  34. Negropolis

    2,000 turned out in suburban Detroit, today, to meet Governor Walker. The guy seems to draw quite the crowd.

    Walker is facing a June recall election in his home state following his efforts to limit collective bargaining rights for public employees which sparked off union protests that continue to follow the first-term Republican governor. Earlier Tuesday, he was greeted by a couple thousands union protesters in Illinois where spoke before the Illinois Chamber of Commerce.

    Organized in part by the UAW, the Michigan protest that one Troy Police officer estimated at about 2,000 along Big Beaver Road is the opening round of a nonviolent campaign called the "99 Percent Spring." It's an outgrowth of the Occupy Wall Street movement that seeks to fight against what protesters call corporate greed.

    See you later, Scott.

    There will be more of this. It's going to be a long, hot spring and summer, my friends.

    1. Fukui-sanYesOta

      See you later, Scott.

      Sadly, that might not be true

      According to Public Policy Polling, Walker leads Milwaukee Mayor Tom Barrett (D) 50 percent to 45 percent and former Dane County Executive Kathleen Falk (D) 50 percent to 43 percent.


      1. Negropolis

        I'm still of the mind that the momentum is on the challengers side in this election regardless of the current polling. They have to really want to keep him for his folks to turn out. I just have a gut feeling that when special election day comes, our turnout's going to be bigger than their turnout. His support in the middle of the electorate feels so flimsy that I think it can be tipped or depressed.

        I really do want to see the poll numbers better for us, though.

    2. PuckStopsHere

      Walker wouldn't allow press coverage for the Troy fundraising event, according to local organizers.

      On account of his being a HUGE PUSSY who hates a free press in a democracy. It should be pointed out that the fundraiser was sold out. Who are these sad, cut-their-own-throats people?

  35. imissopus

    While I was reading this post Weird Al popped up on the itunes with "Smells Like Nirvana." There is no bad mood that cannot be fixed by a little Weird Al.

  36. tessiee

    "I was fortunate enough to cross paths with this sad creature. He APPEARS to be a James O’Keefe wannabe. He walked nervously through the crowd, taking video footage with his iTabletPad the whole time."

    /Hank Hill/
    Out of my way, Twig Boy.

  37. ttommyunger

    ipad? Doubtful. More likely a solar panel for his vibrating Bin-Wall Balls; explains the far-away look in the eyes, like a cat taking a shit.

  38. Fukui-sanYesOta

    Nice one, thanks.

    God, what a monumental cock he really is.

    "I live in an affluent area and unsurprisingly see a lot of other affluent people. AMAZING!"

    Fuckmonkey utterly misses the point that the availability of free high-quality radio is the point of the subsidy. If it's ad-supported, editorial decisions are made which cripple the content and you get screeching fucking lard-baboons like Rush on there.

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