sara can you hear me?

Sara Benincasa Fights For Vagina Rights At Fiesta In NYC Tonight

Oh, hello, beasts of burden. Remember me? I’m good ol’ Sara Benincasa, your friend from the days of a kkkolumn called Barry Can You Hear Me? Well now I am Back, hahaha, and more terrible than ever. So terrible, in fact, that tonight I am hosting a party for the feared chieftainesses of wimmin’s lib right here in New York City, a place where I am and maybe you are as well! It is called The 5th Annual Roe on the Rocks Benefit for Planned Parenthood of NYC, and it is going to be so very much fun.

Anyhoozles, I am very nervous about this rock and roll show because I want to do a very good job and make the feminists laff in the midst of our current collective Vale of Tears. Basically, I am Bob Hope and we are at War against the people who are at War on Womynz, so I will wear a suit and talk into an old-fashioned microphone and bring up a ditzy, zazzy pin-up gal to rally the troops, and the troops will drink champagne and laugh about old tymes and then ask each other why it is, exactly, that in 2012 elected, educated, adult human officials believe “birth control” is something made by witches with mortar and pestle under a waxing moon during the Rutting Season. You could be there! You SHOULD be there!

In my imagination, this post has been like the part at the end of “Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves” when Sean Connery growls “I object!” when Robin of Locksley is trying to marry Mary Elizabeth Curlyhairionio and everyone turns and is like, “SURPRISE CAMEO IT IS SEAN CONNERY!” and then he smiles and says, “Because I want to give away the bride” or whatever. Except this post has been about feminism, and I am not “heroic” King Richard back from murdering innocent Muslamics, and I am not Scottish. But. Thanks to the powers of your betwitching editrix, I have indeed returned. So you should come out to celebrate uteruses and Wonkette tonight at this shindig in NYC.

I have really missed you.

Here are your basic details:

When: Monday, April 16 at 8 p.m.
Where: Highline Ballroom, 431 West 16th St., New York City
What: 5th Annual Roe on the Rocks Benefit for Planned Parenthood NYC
How Much Do I Pay: $30 or $75 if you want to do a meet and greet with me and get champagne, you nuts!

About the author

Sara Benincasa is an award-winning comedian, writer and radio talk show host. Her outspoken, sexually-charged comedy has won praise from the Chicago Tribune, CNN, The Guardian, and The New York Times, and has earned her an ECNY (Emerging Comedian of New York) Award and a Webby nomination. Her memoir, "Agorafabulous!: Dispatches From My Bedroom," (William Morrow/HarperCollins), was based on her critically acclaimed solo show about panic attacks and agoraphobia. She is currently working on a novel for young adults.

View all articles by Sara Benincasa
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Hola wonkerados.

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  1. GunToting[Redacted]

    "Basically, I am Bob Hope and we are at War against the people who are at War on Womynz…"

    Fun fact. Bob Hope was never actually funny.

    1. flamingpdog

      Well, at least you don't have to bring along B-grade movie starlets for there to be big boobs on the stage.

  2. Come here a minute

    Vaginas and uteruses get all the press. Why are ovaries so rarely mentioned? And don't get me started on fallopian tubes!

  3. IncenseDebate

    Is that near the swingers/sex hotel over the High Line? Vaginas get a workout there.

  4. Callyson

    Aw, this West Coast slut is jealous that she can't go see you. Any chance of a national tour?

    1. SaraJBenincasa

      In fact, there may be a West Coast event in your future, involving my butt (and the rest of me.) Stay TUNED!

  5. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    I assume all of the proceeds will go to making a Vagina/Abortion Clinic so spectacular that the gods themselves will weep?

      1. Extemporanus

        SaraJBenincasa 84p · 5 minutes ago

        In fact, there may be a West Coast event in your future, involving my butt (and the rest of me.) Stay TUNED!

        DIBZ BITCHEZ!!

  6. actor212

    Sarah, as a New Yorker who's performed on stage for some of the same people you'll be confronted with, let me give you this piece of advice:

    Imagine your audience naked.

    Because half of them are doing the same thing to you.

  7. OneYieldRegular

    "Crotch crotch crotch crotch crotch crotch crotch!" (stolen from Tales of the City)

  8. V572 Fehrnstrom

    A benefit for Planned Parenthood? Hasn't president-presumptive Romney vowed to "get rid of all that"?

  9. SayItWithWookies

    Sara, I won't be able to to see you as I'm languishing in another city that used to be a national capital (hint — President Jefferson lived here — Jefferson Davis, that is). But I will think of vagina this evening, if that helps.

      1. SayItWithWookies

        Richmond, a city still debating whether it should move beyond its faded grandeur or live on it.

  10. Barb

    Hey Sara! I saw you at the Abortionplex last week and couldn't catch up with you because I didn't want to spill my 2 cups of beer.

    1. SaraJBenincasa

      It's cool, I was totally getting a sweet tattoo of a Japanese character that means "butthole." It's on my shoulder, cause.

      1. shirleyplz

        yes we are so glad there are funny feminazis like you because we didn't have any back in the day-& you're the best! We miss you, & put your book link up.
        Since can't make it tonite,will make a donation to PP.
        Oh & congrats on the wedding plans!

  11. BaldarTFlagass

    Sorry, but there's only one "Fiesta" going on tonight and for the next two weeks, and it's right here in my pants San Antonio TX.

  12. Chet Kincaid

    You disappear for months, you don't write, you don't call, and now all of a sudden you're back in our life, asking for money?! You make us feel so cheap.

    1. flamingpdog

      Pfft, I wrote to her on teh Facebook,, but she never wrote back!

      I still luvs her, though.

  13. el_donaldo

    Is it really appropriate for a feminist event to feature a champagne room? And what kind of cocktail is fish roe on ice? I'm just confused.

    1. Boojum

      I had someone knit one just like it. I plan on giving it to Saxby Chambliss, as he obviously needs one of his own.

  14. finallyhappy

    I crocheted 2 uteri- one was with me at the Supreme Court Rally and then I mailed it to Rick Perry- I have not received a thank you note yet. The second one is coming with me to the April 28 War on Women rally in DC.

  15. flamingpdog

    Thanks to the powers of your betwitching editrix, I have indeed returned.

    Ditto to all the adoration above, but I have to kneel before our betwitching editrix and offer any personal services she might desire for allowing our agorafabulous sweetheart to come back into our awaiting arms (and any other body parts she might be willing to share with us).

    EDIT: Is there any way a poor slob at teh Wonkette can get your book personally signed, sweet Sara?

  16. LibrulEleet

    Damn! I should've checked my Wonkette at work today. I could've gotten off the 1 train at 14th Street, on my way home.

  17. fuflans

    i will be in NY very soon but not today damn damn damn

    break a leg lovely lady. show 'em your tubes!

    and please come back to us often.

  18. Negropolis

    Yes, Sara, but will there be dressage horses? Ann Romney's counter event has dressage horses.

    Mmmm…bacon and garlic ranch dressage….

  19. ttommyunger

    Odd, the only time I hear from Sarah lately is when she is wanting the moneez. Hmmmm. Oh, wait! She is a wimminz!

  20. Sheesko

    sarasarasara…have missed you so. Am packing my vagina right now, toothbrush check, bedbug spray check, checks check…

  21. lulzmonger

    Welcome back to the Monkey House.
    Benincasa, you magnificent podcaster! I'm reading your book!

    Watch out though – I hear Newt Gingrinch is stealing your schtick & plans to call his autobiography Megalomarvelous.

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