With Hillary Clinton slow drifting off towards her retirement in the assisted living community of Memes, the Hot Question (not really) in all of Washington is, who will be our nation’s next “top diplomat” to bring us a shooting war in Libya? No, wait, the Hot Question is, who will win the presidential election? If it’s Romney, of course, General McWarDongle will take the reins at Foggy Bottom and declare nuclear war domestically. But if it’s Obama, we’ll likely get the most boring possible choice. Think of the most boring possible choice, now, and then click the clicky! (HINT: IT’S THE GHOUL IN THE TOP PHOTO.)
John Kerry has been kissing ass since forever to become the next Secretary of State, and all the Washington Insiders are buying it. Look, here is Leslie Gelb in the Daily Beast, talking about the Washington Insiders!
Obama’s list centers on John Kerry, chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee; U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations Susan Rice; and National Security Adviser Thomas Donilon. According to insiders, Obama is thinking Kerry would travel a lot and successfully, and interfere least with policymaking. Susan Rice’s blend of soft and hard line sits well in the Oval Office. Donilon is regarded as the wisest policy and political head.
Ha ha, “Obama is thinking Kerry would get the fuck out of the way the most.” That’s always how it goes, isn’t it?
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I think Dick Cheney is available.
He cannot due to that worldwide arrest on site warrant for war crimes.
Christ, he couldn't even go to fucking Canada.
Stephen Harper, where's the love for another oil patch native son?
The Weekly Standard is not going to like to find this out.
Fucking Canada is Regular Canada's cooler, naughtier cousin, which is quite the inverse of Rob Fucking Ford.
Fixed to fit what I think … and probably lots of other people, too.
Cheney doesn't have the heart for it.
Secretary of State, not Hate.
Doesn't Kerry already speak French?
Indeed. He would even *sing* en francais if given the chants.
What you do there. Je vois.
magnifique
Ri dehors fort.
Wrong condiment maker. It's Heinz not French's.
Warren Buffet's Secretary?
Which state?
That guy from the newer Mexico.
Machete Cortez?
"Machete don't
textdo diplomacy."My husband?
Chris Christie's Non-Union Mexican Equivalent?
Now that we've had the three first woman secretaries of state, it's time to have the first "rich from his wife's ketchup" secretary of state. History beckons!
John Kerry's so liberal, he waits for THREE women to come first!
Whut? I thought all secretaries were chicks.
With the Ketchup Advisory Board as a foreign affairs think tank, what could possibly go wrong?
It's time for Obama to extend a bipartisan olive leaf to Ron Paul.
He'll get swift boated.
Look at that bruise. Was he Swiftbooted in the face?
Susan Rice’s blend of soft and hard line sits well in the Oval Office.
Come on, Clinton's been out of the White House for 12 years.
At least we know that when the chips are down, Kerry can win the big ones.
And then we can make Algore sec. of the Interior, and Dukakis can be sec. of Commerce in Greek Diners, and is they can dig up McGovern and make him sec. of ChooChoo Trains! It will be a regular parade of losers!
If Hillary is retireing,I'm sure Bill would be interested.
Fish heads fish heads,
Roly poly fish heads,
Fish heads fish heads,
Eat them up yum
(alt text win)
America's Next Top Diplomat?
I might lift my ban on reality TV to watch that one.
I suppose that boring world leaders with judicious amounts of expertly crafted circumlocution is a form of diplomacy.
Nay, it is the ESSENCE of diplomacy
Only if he'll wear the fancy suit with the top hat like in the days of yore.
Isn't JImmy Carter stiil alive and still American?
Yes and no.
Alive, but building houses for poor people. Ergo, not American; communist.
Is America ready for a white guy as Sec. of State?
Why are you so RACIST!!!1 against Callista Gingrich??!!
Zombie Warren Christopher could bring a bit more pizzazz to the job than Kerry, I reckon.
Please, we are talking about Obama's second term. If the person isn't an imam or a member of the New Black Panther's Party, he doesn't stand a chance.
Louis Farakhan would make a hilarious SoS. And by hilarious I mean disasterous.
Oh, man, Hillary is going to leave some awfully big heels to fill, but I bet if anyone can do it, Kerry can.
Fred Gywnne as SOTS? I don't know about this.
I think I'd rather just ask Hillz to stick around.
Hillz needs her rest for 2016.
My vote goes to George Clooney.
He's too decent to be in politics. That's why Stephen Colbert is in comedy. They are my fantasy decent beaus.
But imagine him in negotiations with other world leaders. People across the table from him would be star struck.
Plus, imagine him in a hostage rescue negotiation. With really good dialogue, and some split-second decision-making?
Ooh! I think I just had a little orgasm.
All right… I'll do it.
Sheesh.
If the White House is making a short list, it should include Robert Reich
Geithner's replacement? I'm down for that…
I think he'd be a better fit at Labor. And just look at the other six dudes he could bring in as his advisory board!
LOL. You'd have them move him from the Stupid List?
I see what you did there. Apparently, I was the only one, though…
Hey now! I'd have to make my reply snow white for it to be any clearer!
Ahh. I didn't get it. Shoulda said "other 6 dwarves" maybe?
You think Kucinich would stand for that?
Why not appoint Clarence Thomas? Then he could sleep around instead of only on the bench.
So no truth to the rumor that Hillz and Joe Biden are gonna switch places for the next go-round? Just as well — the first time Joe opened his mouth and let fly one of his trademark gaffes, Hillary would just want to trade back.
I'm thinking if Romney loses, he should be Sec. of State — hell, he's already used to representing positions he doesn't believe in, so he should be great at the job.
U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations Susan Rice
Come on, she's *earned* it after having to deal with the UN. Plus, wasn't Madeline Albright the US Ambassador to the UN before becoming Sec of State? That would make it a traditional promotion in that case.
Plus, appointing a blah would piss off the wingnuts. Win – win for everyone!
"Plus, appointing a blah would piss off the wingnuts."
Unless her name is Condoleeza.
True, or Colin for that matter.
Then again, in Wingnut Land, they probably figure "well, they're our blahs so that's OK."
Why stop there? George H. W. Bush was U.N. ambassador, and he went on to have his idiot son elected president!
The next warz will, like so many from before, will be about monies, so howz 'bout Paul Krugman? Or perhaps after the Secret Service kerfuffle, maybe Pee Wee Herman?
Sean Payton is free. If we make him SOS he could put bounties out on heads of state just for the hell of it. I can picture it now…Karzai isn't working with us, next trooper who can separate his shoulder gets $100K.
Kerry would make a great Secretary of State, provided that the state in question is a nigh-catatonic one.
He could bore our enemies to death. Diplomacy win!
Matthew McConaughey?
Bathe him and bring him to me!
I would suggest at least two baths and a de-lousing for good measure. Aids test wouldn't hurt, either.
The Washington Insiders couldn't even beat the Cubs. THE CUBS
Lurch as Sec State?
Everyone not US America will start playing the Adams Family Theme instead of the Star Spangled Banner just to see if he gets the joke.
Now if we're talking about the next Secretary of Steak, Christie's got it nailed.
OT.
Shawna appears to have taken a turn for the worse.
Yeast infection. Nothing to worry about.
Meet your meat….indeed.
If ye don't meet yer meat, ye can't have any puddin'!
First they came for Kortney, and I said nothing…….
Now he's got a Purple Eye to go with his Purple Hearts.
So long as Kerry doesn't try to appoint John Edwards to Deputy Secretary of State.
He'd be Undersecretary of State for Domestic Affairs. Under Rielle.
Nah, they'd just appoint him the Secretary of Lady Interiors.
I believe Dennis Kucinich is currently available.
Until he gets a food-related injury, again, and then he'll just sue the administration.
How about Ainsley Hayes? That'd be bipartisan
I'm told that theirs is the party of inclusion.
Mel Gibson would probably do it.
It is my understanding that senior business executive Hermann Cain is presently a minister without portfolio….
Hiring Kerry would be like having Romney around forever!
NEWT
Everyone in Massachusetts would be quietly relieved. Because otherwise we're stuck with the dullest guy in fifty years, and politics is entertainment here.
romney will probably nominate bolton or somebody.
to get in good with baggers.
The president would be wise to stop snatching random Dems out of the legislature for his cabinet. It hasn't exactly worked so well for him, electorally.
Hil, Kerry: nope. Rice? I'd hit that.
That's what Mass needs. Another special election.
All I saw on that video freeze-frame was
"MCCAIN"
and
"DEPENDS"
'nuff said.
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