OUR DEMON LOVER  4:45 pm April 16, 2012

Ted Nugent: ‘Ride Into That Battlefield,’ Behead The Democrats This Fall

by Liz Colville

(burp)

We have found the one musician who would not be enraged to find one of his songs used without permission at a conservative orgy somewhere in America: he is of course Ted Nugent, who attended the NRA’s annual ball gala cotillion this past weekend to sing “songs,” show his support of fast-acting weaponry, and tell America that they should vote for Romney this fall and also as a consequence behead the Democrats. In an America-themed blouson and trusty camo cowboy hat, Nugent proclaimed Obama’s camp to be a “vile, evil America-hating administration” that is “wiping its ass with the Constitution.”

Offstage, Nugent, wearing what appeared to be a casual military uniform, even though he dodged the Vietnam draft (HUNTING IS LIKE WAR!), let loose his ponytail to speak to a near-empty table while wearing an earpiece tasked with injecting the appropriate message into his ears from his home planet. Things he wants you to know, besides the fact that the Constitution is toilet paper to the Dems, who need to have their heads removed: “four” Supreme Court justices don’t even “believe in” the Constitution:

Does everyone here know that four of the Supreme Court justices not only determined you don’t have the right to keep and bear arms, four Supreme Court justices signed their name to a declaration that Americans have no fundamental right to self-defense.

Some guy in a camo baseball cap was nodding his head while Nugent was saying this, as if to say, “Oh yeah, I remember seeing that go down on C-SPAN.”

Some more verbal gemstones:

That sounds like a stoned hippie, that doesn’t sound like a Supreme Court anything.

…My brain can’t accept the information.

We’ll be a suburb of Indonesia next year.

We are Bravehearts.

The videographical evidence:

[Right Wing Watch]

 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 195 comments }

Extemporanus April 16, 2012 at 4:48 pm
CapnFatback April 16, 2012 at 5:22 pm

Ted is constantly revising the answer to that chorus's question.

DaRooster April 16, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Derp!

Dr_pangloss April 16, 2012 at 6:35 pm

DERP a Derp A Derrrrr!

meatpuppet2 April 16, 2012 at 4:49 pm

I shudder to think I listened to this clowns music at one time long ago.

If someone was to use one of his songs at a campaign event I would recommend "cat scratch fever" or "jailbait". I think that would go over well with the blue haired church folk.

Boojum April 16, 2012 at 5:46 pm

Wang Dang Sweet Poontang, is my recommendation.

Stevola April 16, 2012 at 7:18 pm

Wango Tango

johnnymeatworth April 16, 2012 at 7:41 pm

"My Love Is Like a Tire Iron"

tessiee April 16, 2012 at 10:04 pm

"The Flying Lip Lock"?

flamingpdog April 16, 2012 at 11:35 pm

The only Nugent song I've ever even heard of is "Cat Scratch Fever". I am in awe of all of your's musical knowledge. I think.

sham_69 April 17, 2012 at 10:32 am

Jailbait is a Motorhead song.

meatpuppet2 April 17, 2012 at 7:43 pm

"Ted Nugent's "Jailbait." Song is owned by Ted Nugent and his record company, and Sony Music Entertainment"
http://youtu.be/1JjxM85aWZY

metamarcisf April 16, 2012 at 4:49 pm

How'd you like to take a Journey to the Center of this guy's mind?

sullivanst April 16, 2012 at 5:11 pm

I'd like extremely much not to.

glamourdammerung April 16, 2012 at 5:19 pm

How'd you like to take a Journey to the Center of this guy's mind?

You mean like with a Hellfire missile launched via drone?

I think you meant a journey to the center of his head.

UnholyMoses April 16, 2012 at 5:19 pm

Well, there wouldn't be too many obstacles in the way, so there'd be that …

Steverino247 April 16, 2012 at 6:22 pm

I think you'd find a very frightened little boy who needs guns and military-looking things around him to feel safe, but that's just the professional experience talking.

McDonnellville April 16, 2012 at 6:33 pm

It all started with a bag of tiny plastic army men.

Steverino247 April 16, 2012 at 6:39 pm

I used to have like a division worth of those guys. I'm sure my grandson would have liked them but they got traded away for something useful, I'm sure.

No, Ted Nugent is playing off the current support for veterans by dressing like one. He desperately needs his ass kicked.

Jukesgrrl April 16, 2012 at 8:15 pm

… by a deer.

tessiee April 16, 2012 at 10:05 pm

I've already been in an empty cave, so no biggie.

edgydrifter April 16, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Penning the lyrics to "Wango Tango" lends so much credibility to Mr. Nugent's theory of governance and jurisprudence.

Callyson April 16, 2012 at 5:10 pm

My baby she can move it out My baby she can take a chance My baby got a brand new dance Wango Tango
Wango Tango It's a Wango Tango Ooooh yeah! Baby!

That's it, send the other legal scholars home…

slamtundra April 16, 2012 at 4:50 pm

“If Barack Obama becomes the president in November, again, I will either be dead or in jail by this time next year.”

Don't tease me like that Ted.

iburl April 16, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Geez, maybe I WILL donate to the Obama campaign again this time.

ManchuCandidate April 16, 2012 at 4:58 pm

Oh please. The only things Ted made a serious commitment to was underage poontang and dodging the Draft during Vietnam.

Lionel[redacted]Esq April 16, 2012 at 4:58 pm

I feel a landslide coming.

ElPinche April 16, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Beats a dinner with Obama and Biden. Sending $200 to Obama right now.

prommie April 16, 2012 at 5:03 pm

That there sounded a bit like a threat, a threat to the life of the President. Thats the dog-whistle I hear in those words. He's gonna do something thats gonna get him either killed or arrested. Braveheart style!

McDonnellville April 16, 2012 at 5:16 pm

I wonder how the stand off with federal agents will last.

actor212 April 16, 2012 at 5:22 pm

Until the first roll of Constitution toilet paper runs out.

Jukesgrrl April 16, 2012 at 8:17 pm

He'd probably piss himself if Janet Napolitano so much as walked down his driveway.

rickmaci April 16, 2012 at 5:33 pm

Bwack bwack bwack bwack I'm a chicken hawk, bwack bwack bwack.

DemmeFatale April 16, 2012 at 5:40 pm

Promise?

horsedreamer_1 April 16, 2012 at 7:08 pm

So, Kevorkian's contraption has a few more doses in it?

Well, at least Ted will be supporting the beleaguered Michigan economy, for once.

Biff April 16, 2012 at 7:29 pm

I would hate to see such a useful contraption wasted on the likes of Nugent.

C_R_Eature April 16, 2012 at 7:19 pm

Why wait?

Exhausted66 April 16, 2012 at 4:50 pm

Semen got the first applause.

actor212 April 16, 2012 at 4:59 pm

But Nugent got the clap.

CrunchyKnee April 16, 2012 at 4:51 pm

He has a Stranglehold on the dumb.

Beowoof April 16, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Choking it like his chicken.

LesPaultard April 16, 2012 at 7:13 pm

Road I cruise is a bitch now baby
You know you can't do me 'round
If a house gets in my way baby
You know I'll burn it down

You ran that night that you left me
You put me in my place
Got you in a stranglehold baby
Then I crushed your face

Keep talking, Ted.

Barb April 16, 2012 at 4:51 pm

This from the guy whose contribution to the world was "Wang Dang Sweet Poontang"
I'll pass, thanks!

SayItWithWookies April 16, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Ted Nugent? He'll never be as big as Barry Manilow.

CapnFatback April 16, 2012 at 5:14 pm

Nor as rock 'n' roll.

LesBontemps April 16, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Ted Nugent: Irrelevant Since 1978.

gingerland62 April 17, 2012 at 1:11 am

Was he ever really relevant? He was always just an opener.

Beowoof April 16, 2012 at 4:52 pm

The ballad Wang Dang Sweet poontang is all that needs to be said about Ted.

Eve8Apples April 16, 2012 at 4:53 pm

If you don't get prompt medical treatment for Cat Scratch Fever, your brain returns to its Neanderthal origins and you babble senseless political B.S.

Beowoof April 16, 2012 at 4:57 pm

Actually in Ted's case I do believe he is in a syphilitic stupor.

Boojum April 16, 2012 at 5:52 pm

Did you know that cat scratch fever is a real disease? You get it from cat scratches and it causes infected lymph nodes and high fever. I had to have a lymph node cut out because of it.

Good times. Ted Nugent and infected, pustulent lymph nodes.

emmelemm April 16, 2012 at 7:54 pm

My mama also got cat scratch fever, back when she was a little young 'un. It's not nearly as romantic as it sounds.

Chick-Fil-Atheist™ April 16, 2012 at 4:54 pm

If we elect Barry, Nuge says he will "either be dead, or in jail by this time next year."

Editrix, can we finish it if he starts it? Y'know, in good Christian tradition?

Beowoof April 16, 2012 at 4:58 pm

Vote for OBAMA.

Boojum April 16, 2012 at 5:53 pm

Barry should stand his ground now.

tessiee April 16, 2012 at 10:12 pm

Also in the tradition of all kids with siblings:
"MAAAAA!"
"HE STARTED IT!!"

Franknflower April 16, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Real America is so much uglier than fake America. Thank Satan I live in Hollywood.

SkinnyNerd April 16, 2012 at 6:08 pm

And those mustaches. It is like some kind of prerequisite for assholery.

ManchuCandidate April 16, 2012 at 4:54 pm

This is one war that Ted won't be shitting and pissing himself to get out of.

hagajim April 16, 2012 at 4:55 pm

I think he's been Great White Buffaloed.

DaRooster April 16, 2012 at 4:56 pm

Hey Ted, you never go full re…

Well…

actor212 April 16, 2012 at 4:58 pm

Retail?

Generation[redacted] April 16, 2012 at 5:20 pm

retro arena rock?

horsedreamer_1 April 16, 2012 at 7:08 pm

Just wait. I bet Jack White cuts a record with him.

Fare la Volpe April 16, 2012 at 5:54 pm

Relevance?

McDonnellville April 16, 2012 at 5:59 pm

Remix?

Boojum April 16, 2012 at 8:49 pm

Retreat and reload, i.e., Palin?

SpiderCrab April 16, 2012 at 4:56 pm

Ted! Show us your dick!

Beowoof April 16, 2012 at 5:00 pm

I can see his face so I think he is.

DaRooster April 16, 2012 at 5:11 pm

Yeah, spit it out and show us.

Callyson April 16, 2012 at 5:12 pm

Oh God no. I'm only just getting over the photo of the Frothy Mix in his swim trunks.

LastGasp April 16, 2012 at 4:57 pm

[Image link fail]

Eve8Apples April 16, 2012 at 4:57 pm

"We have found the one musician who would not be enraged…"

Who is the musician? This is a story about a right wing, knuckle walking, cave dwelling, draft dodging idiot.

Come here a minute April 16, 2012 at 4:57 pm

President Obama tipped his hand about how tremendously far he is going to roll back gun rights in his second term by not even rolling back gun rights one tiny bit in his first term. The NRA cleverly saw through his cunning plan.

Guns are teh awesome.

Beowoof April 16, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Yeah guns are great unless someone else has one and is shooting back. If Ted had gone to Viet Nam he would have spent most of his time there, stoned or cleaning his undies. Good thing for Ted he learned about war out fighting the ferocious white tail deer with a high powered weapon.

Boojum April 16, 2012 at 8:51 pm

Those things are dangerous, with their sharp hooves and flat, herbivorous teeth. Why, you could get scraped raw, if one got a good bite of you!

Native_of_SL_UT April 17, 2012 at 11:15 am

It's funny how the people are so sure that Obama is getting booted out in November are the exact same people who are so sure that Obama will take their guns during his second term.

Lionel[redacted]Esq April 16, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Anyone remember when Conservatives prided themselves on their intellectual rigor?

ManchuCandidate April 16, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Or their bravery and honesty and love of women who were legal?

No.

HippieEsq April 16, 2012 at 5:04 pm

You mean before Bob Dole did a Viagara commercial with Britney Spears?

Eve8Apples April 16, 2012 at 5:08 pm

Conservatives used to look down on the Democratic Party as a bunch of granola eating, mindless, pot smoking hippies.

Now, they claim the Democratic Party is full of intellectual, educated, ivory tower elites.

SayItWithWookies April 16, 2012 at 5:23 pm

That's what happens to granola-eating, mindless, pot-smoking hippies when they graduate.

SayItWithWookies April 16, 2012 at 5:09 pm

Yeah, back when they thought that poseur snob William F. Buckley was some sort of genius. He was, in fact, a racist know-nothing moron, but they had no way of figuring that out.

McDonnellville April 16, 2012 at 6:32 pm

A bit long but well worth reading: http://www.insidehighered.com/blogs/education-oro

onemoretime79 April 16, 2012 at 9:08 pm

Thank you for posting that link. I may have heard about that debate before but not like this. Thanks again.

Dudleydidwrong April 16, 2012 at 10:17 pm

Fascinating essay. Thanks for posting that.

tessiee April 16, 2012 at 10:26 pm

Thanks for the link. The author's writing is a pleasure to read, not least because the article throws into prominent relief how long and how consistently the right has been on the wrong side of history, human rights, and everything that used to make this a great country.

Also, speaking as a Sesquipidalian-American, Buckley has always struck me as an annoying poseur who threw around big words to camouflage his lack of anything resembling an insight.

glamourdammerung April 16, 2012 at 5:14 pm

You mean back when Buckley went on about the superiority of whites?

Fare la Volpe April 16, 2012 at 5:15 pm

Their what?

imissopus April 16, 2012 at 11:00 pm

No. But then, I'm only in my late thirties.

gingerland62 April 17, 2012 at 1:13 am

No and I'm turning 50 this year.

Poindexter718 April 16, 2012 at 5:01 pm

"My Bill of Rights goes to 11."

Generation[redacted] April 16, 2012 at 5:22 pm

"I'm writing a treatise based on the 18th century enlightenment. It's called 'Lick My Love Pump.'"

C_R_Eature April 16, 2012 at 7:26 pm

"Listen, You're not paid to be as Confused as Nigel Nugent!"

tessiee April 16, 2012 at 10:30 pm

There's a very fine line between stupid and Nugent…
`
`
`
And he's erased it.

ElPinche April 16, 2012 at 5:01 pm

Help the Nuge make it to the big hunting grounds in the sky or help him join an aryan prison gang:
https://donate.barackobama.com/page/contribute/o2

BigSkullF*ckingDog April 16, 2012 at 5:01 pm

Cat scratch fever is a real thing, caused by the microorganism Bartonella henselae.

C_R_Eature April 16, 2012 at 7:31 pm

True. Bartonellosis causes swollen lymph nodes, fever and other acute symptoms.

The effects on aging C- grade Rock Musicians seems to be more severe.

Mumbly_Joe April 16, 2012 at 7:52 pm

It's also a common (and dangerous) opportunistic infection associated with AIDS, which is doubtless how the name of the nightclub in Rent was derived.

gingerland62 April 17, 2012 at 1:17 am

I had it. I thought I had cancer. They were about to biopsy when the doctor asked if I had a cat… I had the FEVER.

DonnyKerabotsos April 16, 2012 at 5:01 pm

I think Ted's argument about those dreaded 'four" Supreme Court Justices not believing in the right to bear arms gets undermined when the video clearly shows a guy behind him field stripping a machine gun.

SkinnyNerd April 16, 2012 at 6:10 pm

Why were all those guys aiming at the roof? Was there a target of something painted up there?

McDonnellville April 16, 2012 at 6:53 pm

It was a NRA convention. There were probably targets painted everywhere.

Jukesgrrl April 16, 2012 at 8:21 pm

With a picture of Barack Obama or Nancy Pelosi as the bull's eye.

Boojum April 16, 2012 at 8:53 pm

Surveyor's mark! Jeez, libel is off limits now!

MilwaukeeKent April 16, 2012 at 10:33 pm

It's not unusual to find sparrows or wrens inside a large convention hall, flitting among the rafters, or one of Dick Cheney's friends…

littlebigdaddy April 16, 2012 at 5:01 pm

I am waiting word from the members of Blue Oyster Cult before I decide how to vote.

GunToting[Redacted] April 16, 2012 at 5:46 pm

Buck Dharma on line 2.

LesPaultard April 16, 2012 at 7:20 pm

The word is:

cowbell

Generation[redacted] April 16, 2012 at 8:08 pm

I think, if asked, they would describe how history shows again and again, how nature points out the folly of man.

MilwaukeeKent April 16, 2012 at 10:34 pm

Oh, oh. There goes Tokyo.

prommie April 16, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Nice dye-job. Very natural looking. Way to go, Ted.

actor212 April 16, 2012 at 5:02 pm

My brain can’t accept the information.

In fairness to the Nuge, he's stuffed it full working out how to utilize the Velcro™ laces on his shoes.

lochnessmonster April 16, 2012 at 5:04 pm

I was friends w/ his am. She's spinning in her grave.

Callyson April 16, 2012 at 5:06 pm

Does everyone here know that four of the Supreme Court justices not only determined you don’t have the right to keep and bear arms

Wrong:

The Second Amendment’s guarantee of an individual right to bear arms applies to state and local gun control laws, the Supreme Court ruled Monday in a 5-to-4 decision.
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/29/us/29scotus.htm

Dumbass.

Fare la Volpe April 16, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Who?

McDonnellville April 16, 2012 at 6:39 pm

Old guy (though I wouldn't consider early 60s "old" but, by going at how old he looks, yeah "old") who thought he was the white Jimi Hendrix back in the day who'd end up under a pile of passed out groupies & coke after every concert.

AlterNewt April 17, 2012 at 1:52 am

Just a little man who aimed low and always hit the mark.

Oh, and some say that he smells funny.

PuckStopsHere April 16, 2012 at 5:09 pm

Signs of the Apocalypse: Ted Nugent has a platform from which to speak and both HuffPo and (OMG) Politico today won Pulitzers.

swordfis April 16, 2012 at 5:28 pm

I was asking myself this morning if the Pulitzers were given to mediocrities in fields other than mine, and everybody in those fields sat around complaining about it. Then I saw the HP and Politico awards and I realized: it's all bullshit.

Fare la Volpe April 16, 2012 at 5:10 pm

Teddy sure loves to talk about seamen.

actor212 April 16, 2012 at 5:24 pm

I think you're putting words in his mouth.

Generation[redacted] April 16, 2012 at 5:26 pm

I find that hard to swallow.

UnholyMoses April 16, 2012 at 5:11 pm

A suburb of … Indonesia?

**blink**

**blinkblink**

Apparently, cat scratch fever has "clinical stupidity on a scale rarely ever seen" as a side effect.

Or it's the cause. Not sure which.

Fare la Volpe April 16, 2012 at 6:12 pm

Seriously. What the fuck does that even mean?

It's like accusing someone of being a thespian.

McDonnellville April 16, 2012 at 6:51 pm

And Indonesia is not even in driving distance because it's down there closer to that Kangaroo country.
It would have made more sense if said America would become a suburb of Mexico. Not much more sense because it's cities, and not countries, that have suburbs.
But I'm sure you feel my drift.

Fare la Volpe April 16, 2012 at 5:11 pm

Yo, Ted. Gallagher called. He wants his relevance back.

Generation[redacted] April 16, 2012 at 5:24 pm

Obama has so far been silent on our right to bear sledgehammers.

glamourdammerung April 16, 2012 at 5:13 pm

Too bad President Obama is too big on the whole "the other side can be reasoned with" stupidity to not publicly call this cretin out. Especially mentioning that unlike Nugent, he never literally covered himself with his own feces to get out of serving the country.

Also, the fact this loser can say this crap without a drone hit or a nice trip to Gitmo shows the teabaggers were/are lying about NDAA.

UnholyMoses April 16, 2012 at 5:15 pm

I need a ruling:

Is hoping for one of Ted's weapons to suffer a massive failure during target practice that results in a rather large and hard-to-survive explosion be against our new commenting guidelines?

Inquiring minds want to know!

actor212 April 16, 2012 at 5:23 pm

Not if you suffix it with, "And he has a speedy and full recovery"

Generation[redacted] April 16, 2012 at 5:26 pm

With votes!

GunToting[Redacted] April 16, 2012 at 5:48 pm

And surveyor's marks.

Generation[redacted] April 16, 2012 at 5:25 pm

I believe such an accident would constitute skullfucking with a machine gun, even if it is self-inflicted.

owhatever April 16, 2012 at 5:18 pm

It's not too late, Ted. Fly to Kabul and go kill some Talibans. We thank you in advance for your service.

McDonnellville April 16, 2012 at 5:26 pm

It would be too easy for me to take aim at Nugent's comments.

Naked_Bunny April 16, 2012 at 5:29 pm

I don't actually know who Ted Nugent is, but every time I hear his name, I get a craving for candy bars.

McDonnellville April 16, 2012 at 6:03 pm

The ones containing venison, caramel, & plenty of nuts?

flamingpdog April 16, 2012 at 11:49 pm

Makes sense, given what a candyass he is.

gingerland62 April 17, 2012 at 1:21 am

delicious

gout April 16, 2012 at 5:29 pm

Talk tough and wave a little dick.

Jukesgrrl April 16, 2012 at 8:25 pm

Not to mention, the Michigan version of all hat and no cattle.

tessiee April 16, 2012 at 10:37 pm

All spinners and no engine?

smitallica April 16, 2012 at 5:40 pm

The guy who used to pal around with George W. says THIS government is wiping its ass with the Constitution??

Hey Nugent. Shut the fuck up.

mavenmaven April 16, 2012 at 5:43 pm

"Morons for Romney"

meatpuppet2 April 16, 2012 at 5:47 pm

Maybe he can talk about what the lyrics of some his songs mean.

JAILBAIT

Well I don't care if you're just thirteen
You look too good to be true
I just know that you're probably clean
There's one lil' thing I got to do to you

DemmeFatale April 16, 2012 at 5:51 pm

OT:
(This may have been said already.)
The new "Meet Your Meat" ad is making me crave rare roast beef.

Swampgas_Man April 16, 2012 at 9:17 pm

As long as it's not Arby's, thank you.

Boojum April 16, 2012 at 6:00 pm

Well, at least there is no danger that he will be called an elitist intellectual.

tessiee April 16, 2012 at 10:37 pm

I'd be amazed if he could even pronounce it.

MrsBiggTime April 16, 2012 at 6:29 pm

I would love to see the Dixie Chicks kick this guy in the nuts.

Nostrildamus April 16, 2012 at 6:29 pm

verbal gemstones kidney stones

Steverino247 April 16, 2012 at 6:30 pm

Cat Scratch Fever or General Paresis… Tough call. Blood test, please!

An_Outhouse April 16, 2012 at 6:34 pm

I thought draft dodgers often become blithering idiots because of too much drug use. I hear Ted doesn't use drugs so that doesn't explain it. Maybe he got kicked in the head by a horse.

Dashboard Buddha April 16, 2012 at 6:38 pm

I'm betting it's from drinking deer piss.

Jukesgrrl April 16, 2012 at 8:28 pm

Perhaps there are some pharmaceuticals he SHOULD be taking. He talks to himself quite a bit more than the average nutball.

MilwaukeeKent April 16, 2012 at 10:38 pm

Following the wrong advice on cooking and eating squirrel brain.

tessiee April 16, 2012 at 10:42 pm

If I recall my days living in the south, the trick is to use NON-rabid squirrels.

LetUsBray April 16, 2012 at 11:40 pm

Oh, I'm sure that when he was carrying a week's worth of shit in his pants to get out of being drafted, some of the bacteria went to his brain.

Dashboard Buddha April 16, 2012 at 6:37 pm

"We are Bravehearts"

I WISH you were Braveheart. I would personally spur on the horse attached to your right leg.

Dashboard Buddha April 16, 2012 at 6:40 pm

Holy shit…the dude bailed on Vietnam because he was tied down with his studies at Oakland Community College?!

Biel_ze_Bubba April 16, 2012 at 7:04 pm

"My brain can’t accept the information."

Identifying the problem is always the first step, Ted. Time to move on to the next…

horsedreamer_1 April 16, 2012 at 7:11 pm

Jared Loughner is already sharpening his blade.

Too soon? Blood libel against Ted Nugent?

Rotundo_ April 16, 2012 at 7:18 pm

Gosh Gonzo Ted, I wonder how those GI's fighting the commies in Vietnam feel about chickenshits who shit and piss themselves to get a looneytunes pass on serving their country and the constitution? Go harvest some more game Teddy, politics is beyond your league and above your dignity, which for someone who presents to the military with a load of shit and piss in their pants is saying something pretty profound.

fuflans April 16, 2012 at 9:17 pm

this is true? this is the third reference i've seen about his 'dishonorable discharge'.

gross.

George Spelvin April 16, 2012 at 9:24 pm

It's how he got rejected at his draft physical.

C_R_Eature April 16, 2012 at 7:18 pm

That's no Musician.

Stevola April 16, 2012 at 7:33 pm

I've always liked Nugent's music (at least the old stuff) but if he doesn't have a guitar in his hands, he needs to STFU.

Oh, and none of this is new. He's always been a dick.

johnnymeatworth April 16, 2012 at 7:38 pm

Sure, he just wants to pack the Supreme Court with the rest of the Amboy Dukes.

Generation[redacted] April 16, 2012 at 7:43 pm

Hey Nuge. Roger Waters grossed over $89.5 million from 56 concerts in the USA alone last year. How much did YOUR last tour make?

OneYieldRegular April 16, 2012 at 7:55 pm

I haven't seen that many men with mustaches and other weird facial hair together in one place since the last time I was in a Turkish bath house.

tessiee April 16, 2012 at 10:43 pm

Do you like… gladiator movies?

fitley April 16, 2012 at 7:56 pm

Aww Bless his heart. Now go be nice to little Teddy. See he wore his pretend Army dress up play outfit for everybody. Isn't he handsome and brave. Salute pretend Army man Teddy. See if he'll autograph your GI Joe. Tell him your dead uncle used to listen to him in Viet Nam. Can Teddy say Viet Nam? Now go cut his head off and crap down his throat.

a_pink_poodle April 16, 2012 at 8:05 pm

I dunno, I've been to some really nice suburbs in Indonesia. Even cities outside Jakarta are pretty nice, although I'm bias as I spent my young summers in Bandung.

littlebigdaddy April 16, 2012 at 8:25 pm

I guess ol' Ted doesn't realize what percentage of his original fan base were stoned hippies. Who the hell else would listen to that crap?

Jukesgrrl April 16, 2012 at 8:37 pm

Don't insult hippies. In my college the only people who listened to that crap were frat boys.

Boojum April 16, 2012 at 8:59 pm

I had graduated from Ted by sophmore year in high school. Ted is a pubescent boy angst, anger, and anabolic steroid kind of thing. All gonads, disconnected from any neuron above the neck.

littlebigdaddy April 16, 2012 at 9:11 pm

I hate to admit it but I was in college then. The biggest Nugent fan in my dorm was a hippy with a bong the size of a bassoon.

littlebigdaddy April 16, 2012 at 9:52 pm

I may be thinking of an oboe.

Veritas78 April 16, 2012 at 8:35 pm

Well, the Romney boys think he is a hep cat, neato, groovy, rad, and chill. So there.

Who let the dogs out? The Tedster, that's who! 23 skidoo!

JackObin April 16, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Musician? That's like calling Little Georgie Bush a statesman.

fuflans April 16, 2012 at 9:18 pm

chris cooper wants his dignity back.

fuflans April 16, 2012 at 9:23 pm

this is a good endorsement for mittens.

tessiee April 16, 2012 at 10:09 pm

Please, the last thing Ted Nugent did that was worth a fart in a 40-acre field was "Journey to the Center of the Mind", and that was in 1968; how much do I care now?

DocChaos April 16, 2012 at 10:36 pm

I believe Nugent was the only rock icon from the 70s that wasn't stoned the entire decade, proof the abstinence causes brain damage.

MilwaukeeKent April 16, 2012 at 10:42 pm

"That sounds like a stoned hippie, that doesn’t sound like a Supreme Court anything."
Is he referring to Scalia's question of whether the government can make you buy broccoli? Ass Scratch Fever indeed, Teddy Boy.

The_Trainman April 16, 2012 at 10:44 pm

In effigy I burn a Stereo 8 cartridge containing the song "Cat Scratch Fever" and pray that the NRA turn the Democrats to pillars of salt.

Negropolis April 16, 2012 at 11:08 pm

I agree with him; four of the justices don't know the Constitution from a coloring book.

miss_grundy April 16, 2012 at 11:13 pm

I think this cracker lives in the Upper Peninsula here in MIchigan, perhaps he could get caught up in some shooting accident. Ya know, like he accidentally gets shot by another dumb cracker. Wouldn't that be fun????

Negropolis April 16, 2012 at 11:20 pm

Nope. He moved out of Michigan shortly after Granholm was elected governor, I believe, and has resided in Texas (of course) ever since, thank god.

DesertTed April 16, 2012 at 11:45 pm

This motherfucker needs to go on a hunting trip with Dick Cheney.

Terry April 17, 2012 at 9:02 am

"Offstage, Nugent, wearing what appeared to be a casual military uniform, even though he dodged the Vietnam draft…"

Wouldn't it be fabulous if when you googled Nugent's name that the first several links that came up were all about draft dodging?

WiscDad April 17, 2012 at 9:05 am

Ted Nugent, the original Snakeskin Cowboy. Funny how what comes around goes around. Fuckin' hack.

woodwakr April 17, 2012 at 12:08 pm

Ted's brain has gone wet.

lisawines April 17, 2012 at 1:01 pm

Mwahahahaha! Secret Service to investigate Teddy New-gent for his comments about Obama: http://thinkprogress.org/security/2012/04/17/4658

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: