TAPPIN KOCH  3:28 pm April 16, 2012

No Unemployment Moolah For Minnesota GOP Staffer Canned For Laying Senator

by Erik Jay

Koch Head ST. PAUL, Minn. Michael Brodkorb is an unemployed worker who is carrying a heavy burden like so many others during these challenging economic times. After losing his job, he filed for unemployment. Every day he waited at the mailbox, hoping this would be the day he could turn his lights back on. Then it happened. An envelope from the state arrived! It was about his unemployment. His claim was rejected. Is Minnesota unfairly rejecting hard working Americans’ right to benefits? Is this typical ‘you forgot to cross a ‘t’ bullshit? Or could it be the former Republican Senate staffer proudly announced was plowing his former boss Senate Majority Leader Amy Koch? The answer is still a mystery, but details are to come and come hard.

The unemployment process is private until an appeal is presented. Appeals are public, so very little detail has been revealed. Brodkorb has retained an attorney, Phil Villaume. Brodkorb has been preparing to sue the Senate for gender discrimination and he wants his unemployment check. Brodkorb is referring all questions to his lawyer.

“Since Mr. Brodkorb was unlawfully terminated at a public restaurant, representatives in the Minnesota Senate and others in state government have continually violated his privacy rights afforded to him as a state employee. The unauthorized release of private information related to his former employment with the Minnesota Senate only adds to legal complications with the state of Minnesota.”

Cal Ludeman, the secretary of the Minnesota Senate and top operations officer in Senate, confirmed that Brodkorb’s application for unemployment benefits was turned down. He is also the one who fired Brodkorb.

“He’s appealing the decision. That’s a Department of Employment and Economic Development decision. We didn’t have anything to do with that.”

The Employment and Economic Development department isn’t talking either.

This all started when Brodkorb was fired in December after Amy Koch unexpectedly stepped down as Senate Majority Leader. The day after Amy Koch stepped down, Brodkorb made it known he had an affair with the senator. Senator Koch has learned the important lesson that ‘loose lips sinks ships’ and has chosen to spend more time with her family and less time with Brodkorb’s penis.

“These have been very difficult times, but I am taking it day by day. I just want to put my head down and pull the wagon.”

Koch said she will return to the Legislature when the session convenes on Tuesday, but does not see a high-profile role for herself this session.

Brodkrob suspects he was dismissed because he had an affair with Koch and is seeking at least $500,000 in damages. Brodkorb alleges that there are instances of female staffers who have sex with their male bosses and it goes overlooked. When asked about the possibility of a female staffer having an affair with a female boss, there was no comment; just a smile and a head nod.

To date, there is no explanation into why Brodkorb’s unemployment application was rejected. State employees are always taught to look for the words ‘tapping senator ass’ and red-flag those claims which may be the reason why.
Brodkorb has a hearing scheduled on his unemployment claim on Thursday which may reveal a great deal of information about how he brought Koch to her knees. Due to the public information that will be revealed by Brodkorb, it will most likely provide a glimpse on the extent his penis and bank account was traumatized by this whole situation. [MinnesotaPublicRadio]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 79 comments }

nounverb911 April 16, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Needs more instant karma.

actor212 April 16, 2012 at 3:55 pm

If by saying "I just want to put my head down and pull the wagon," he's claiming to be a Brahma bull, karma may not come into it.

nounverb911 April 16, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Brodkorb screwed the wrong Koch.

Troglodeity April 16, 2012 at 3:33 pm

"Head down and pull the wagon" was her and Brodkrob's favorite position.

Crank_Tango April 16, 2012 at 3:35 pm

AKA the Prairie Schooner…

DaRooster April 16, 2012 at 3:59 pm

Or Chuck Wagon.

horsedreamer_1 April 16, 2012 at 8:08 pm

But when they brought the toys with, it became —

OH THE WELLS FARGO WAGON IS A-COMIN DOWN.

Negropolis April 17, 2012 at 12:51 am

Or the Conestoga Steamer.

tcaalaw April 16, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Senator Koch has learned the important lesson that ‘loose lips sinks ships’ and has chosen to spend more time with her family and less time with Brodkorb’s penis.

This sentence deserves some sort of award for excellence in political commentary.

valthemus April 16, 2012 at 4:09 pm

If politicians actually displayed this level of candor on a regular basis, we wouldn't need Wonkette.

Negropolis April 17, 2012 at 12:53 am

I don't know how loose those lips were.

Giveusabob April 16, 2012 at 3:34 pm

State employees are always taught to look for the words ‘tapping senator ass’ and red-flag those claims.
Although intended to be funny, the reality of most state gov't functions could be improved if this were actually done literally.

Callyson April 16, 2012 at 3:52 pm

From your lips to Sacramento's ears…

CrazyLikeFox April 16, 2012 at 3:34 pm

He should obviously sue her for luring him into having sex with her. I mean, she's the woman, right?

Radiotherapy April 16, 2012 at 3:34 pm

which may reveal a great deal of information about how he brought Koch to her knees.

T

Jus_Wonderin April 16, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Pat, I'm sorry, I wanted an A instead of the R. The word is Broadkob. Ding, ding, ding, ding……………….

ManchuCandidate April 16, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Why can't he just pull himself up by his bootstraps and get a job instead of being a gubbiment tit sucking unemployed bum? Who does he think he is? A liebrul or a blah or a welfare queen?

WhatTheHeck April 16, 2012 at 4:21 pm

He ain’t getting sheeit, cause he was really “laid” off.

Monsieur_Grumpe April 16, 2012 at 6:08 pm

Irony is dead. Long irony!

fitley April 16, 2012 at 8:09 pm

Broadknob says he prefers to be known as an Anti Government Nig, thank you very much. He also wants everybody to know " It's hard. Hard… being a dude that is".

Mumbly_Joe April 16, 2012 at 3:36 pm

I just want to put my head down and pull the wagon.

In Secretary, wasn't it the subordinate who played that role?

BaldarTFlagass April 16, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Does "Brodkorb" mean "enormous glans" in Scandahoovian?

Terry April 16, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Because I have Google, I know that his name sadly means "bread basket" in German. Not much help there, I know.

Barb April 16, 2012 at 3:39 pm

I hear the Secret Service is hiring.

nounverb911 April 16, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Head procurer?

ElPinche April 16, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Just like Amy Koch's BIG ASS, socialism is sort of looking good right about now, ey Brodkorb?

BarackMyWorld April 16, 2012 at 3:40 pm

I went and read the original article looking for the sentence: "State employees are always taught to look for the words ‘tapping senator ass’ and red-flag those claims which may be the reason why."

I was saddened it was just a quoting mistake made by the Wonkette editor and not actually part of the Minnesota Public Radio article.

BarackMyWorld April 16, 2012 at 5:44 pm

He fixed it…sadly.

hagajim April 16, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Senator Koch has learned the important lesson that ‘loose lips sinks ships’ and has chosen to spend more time with her family – Huh. And here I thought loose lips made for good blowjobs….no teeth and all.

Guppy April 16, 2012 at 4:41 pm

No, the other lips.

James Michael Curley April 16, 2012 at 3:40 pm

You only get unemployment if you are laid off, not if you prematurely withdraw from your job.

Barb April 16, 2012 at 3:43 pm

That's sick. I'm upfisting you for that.

prommie April 16, 2012 at 3:46 pm

From the looks of her, I think he has a valid claim of constructive discharge.

actor212 April 16, 2012 at 4:00 pm

Ah, the so-called "Paper Bag Defense"

Callyson April 16, 2012 at 4:12 pm

From the looks of him, I think she has a valid counterclaim for damages.

James Michael Curley April 16, 2012 at 7:44 pm

Sorry I am not looking if she is experiencing a discharge.

Oblios_Cap April 16, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Geez – looking at her picture, I must say that she certainly appears corn-fed. He must have had one hell of a Viagra tab. Good thing that socialized medicine paid for it!

prommie April 16, 2012 at 3:48 pm

He must be a big Sir Mix-A-Lot fan.

actor212 April 16, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Oh, I dunno. I'd do her….
.
.
.
.
.
…with yours!

prommie April 16, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Well, Henry Kissinger said "power is the ultimate aphrodisiac," and if it worked so well it got Henry laid, it must be. All these lady GOP pols and the boffing these greasy, nasty little staffers, its the only possible explanation. Dudes and Chicks, they are always doing the sexing thing, noone can explain it.

BaldarTFlagass April 16, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Your move, Nikki Haley.

Hera Sent Me April 16, 2012 at 3:44 pm

A straight Republican sex scandal.

Kinky.

nounverb911 April 16, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Speaking of Kinky, is he going to run for Governor of Texas again?

Terry April 16, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Both are of legal age, too.

Biel_ze_Bubba April 16, 2012 at 6:48 pm

You have to keep in mind that in Minnesota, it's still 1959.

horsedreamer_1 April 16, 2012 at 8:10 pm

A Solitary Man Libel!!!

IncenseDebate April 16, 2012 at 3:45 pm

The Senator's staff member got screwed. The end. Old story.

Negropolis April 17, 2012 at 12:57 am

You wish. This story ain't ending until he stops going to the media for redress (and he probably has a good case for doing so). Sorry.

BaldarTFlagass April 16, 2012 at 3:47 pm

"the former Republican Senate staffer proudly announced was plowing his former boss Senate Majority Leader Amy Koch"

Dude, take a look at that picture again. Are you sure this is something you should be bragging about?

nounverb911 April 16, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Which one of the Koch brothers is she?

actor212 April 16, 2012 at 4:03 pm

Not for nothing, but he's not exactly George Clooney himself

Callyson April 16, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Another attorney, Bill O'Brien, said Brodkorb may find it difficult to convince an unemployment judge that he is entitled to unemployment. He said Brodkorb was a spokesperson for the Minnesota Senate Republicans — a high profile job that requires high standards.
"It's going to be very difficult for him to make the case that the kind of conduct that he engaged in did not present some sort of misconduct, in my view," O'Brien said.

Oh come on–doesn't working for the Republicans require an employee to screw someone over?

LesBontemps April 16, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Brodkorb should not only get his unemployment, but some kind of hazard pay for doing sex on that Amy Koch.

Blueb4sunrise April 16, 2012 at 3:51 pm

Berlusconi wept.

Terry April 16, 2012 at 3:51 pm

"“Since Mr. Brodkorb was unlawfully terminated at a public restaurant, "

It's unlawful in Minnesota to fire someone in a restaurant? That must make it near impossible to get rid of bad cooks and waitstaff.

Callyson April 16, 2012 at 3:53 pm

I just want to know what Rush Limpballs has to say about this Koch…

SayItWithWookies April 16, 2012 at 3:53 pm

“Since Mr. Brodkorb was unlawfully terminated at a public restaurant…"

Who the hell does this guy think he is — Paul Castellano?

JustPixelz April 16, 2012 at 4:02 pm

If he wasn't terminated by an Republican robot from the future who said "I like firing people who service me" … if that didn't happen, he isn't legally terminated.

actor212 April 16, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Serves Brodknob right! He should shut his mouth and know his role, which apparently included servicing his former mistress at lunch!

JustPixelz April 16, 2012 at 3:58 pm

"… details are to come and come hard."

You know, that could be read two ways. Three, if you count casino craps.

Lionel[redacted]Esq April 16, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Has Mr. Brodkorb penis filed for unemployment? Or has it already found another gainful position?

Negropolis April 17, 2012 at 1:00 am

Well, the hand pays a lower wage, but you get to choose your own hours. Still, you're lucky to get any position in this economy.

Nostrildamus April 16, 2012 at 4:13 pm

“These have been very difficult times, but I am taking it day by day. I just want to put my head down and pull the wagon."

Time to check urban dictionary.

Veritas78 April 16, 2012 at 8:22 pm

So that's what the kidz are callin' it these dayz!

niblick77 April 16, 2012 at 4:19 pm

Two words that I thought all repugs lived by: Boot Straps

An_Outhouse April 16, 2012 at 6:20 pm

and cock.

Negropolis April 17, 2012 at 1:02 am

Well, she's talking about pulling wagons, so she doesn't have time to pull on bootstraps.

Barrelhse April 16, 2012 at 4:20 pm

I wanna watch those details.

whatupirondog April 16, 2012 at 4:30 pm

This story is nothing but a sad excuse to type the name Brodkorb over and over.

Brodkorb.

Brodkorb. Brodkorb. Brodkorb. Brodkorb. Brodkorb. Brodkorb. Brodkorb. Brodkorb. Brodkorb. Brodkorb. Brodkorb. Brodkorb. Brodkorb. Brodkorb. Brodkorb. Brodkorb.

Brodkorb.

fuflans April 16, 2012 at 8:56 pm

this pleases me so much.

Mahousu April 16, 2012 at 4:43 pm

Attorney Stephen Cooper agrees, saying the hearing could also provide greater detail into Brodkorb's affair with Koch, and how it was handled internally.

One hopes it was handled internally with condoms.

Rotundo_ April 16, 2012 at 5:09 pm

Or if it was handled externally at least in a car or a phone booth. But I suspect Brodkorb and Koch would be a bit too snug to do much in either.

fuflans April 16, 2012 at 4:43 pm

HAHAHAHAHAHA republican cannot get help from government!!!*

* speaking as someone who will be eternally grateful for the safety net provided me (for the last year) by unemployment insurance, cobra extension, the federal government, the 111th congress, the democrats, etc.

oh and fuck you all. government can help.

Exhausted66 April 16, 2012 at 5:29 pm

" I just want to put my head down and pull the wagon.”

Enough with the GOP comparing women to livestock.

An_Outhouse April 16, 2012 at 6:20 pm

Amy Koch loves cock. She must be Republican.

Negropolis April 17, 2012 at 12:44 am

I just want to put my head down and pull the wagon.

That's what he said.

Oh, boy, she just keeps on giving. Sounds like Ms. Amy has been traveling the old Oregon Trail and pulling a caravan, if you know what I mean.

Negropolis April 17, 2012 at 12:59 am

Well, he wants a job, right? **Koch cackles**

ttommyunger April 17, 2012 at 8:03 am

Brodkorb? Koch? OK, now you're just making shit up.

nounverb911 April 16, 2012 at 3:43 pm

And strangely enough The Stranger in Seattle actually won one!

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