how many chickens?

For Just $50,000 Mitt Romney Will Throw In An Invite To His (First) Inauguration

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What's in your wallet?Presumptive Republican presidential nominee and man-shaped pile of hair gel Mitt Romney needs some more scratch, fellows, and so his surrogates are passing around a nifty Kickstarter-style menu of fabulous prizes you could get if you had 50,000 clams that for some weird reason you did not need for shelter, food, or four months worth of healthcare premiums.

The campaign is asking people who are able to make a $50,000 contribution to do so today and become a “Founding Member” of Romney Victory. These donors will be invited to a special retreat with Governor Romney in late June in California and will have preferred status at the first Presidential Inaugural retreat as well as yet to be determined access at the Republican National Convention in Tampa in August.

But wait! There’s more!

For $10,000, you and your opposite-sex spouse can get a picture with Mr. Romney — somewhere the sad puddings behind Newt Gingrich’s $50 photo ops are gnashing their teeth at the unusual smallness of a Gingrich Idea — and … that seems to be about it. What, not even a totebag?

[Buzzfeed]

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Comments

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  • mavenmaven

    Republican swag, not worth the bag its in… (and what, no hair products?)

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Republicans don't do their own hair: Amalgamated Metal Workers Union members do it for them

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Union members? I don't think so.
        More likely forged in China.

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          They want it done without the toxic materials, you see, and they want quality work

        • MissNancyPriss

          Mitt's hair is forged from the steel of scab labor.

  • http://wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    50K to watch Mittens cry. It might be worth to see that. Nah. I'll wait till the Youtube video comes out.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      It's a great leap of faith that your $50K ticket to the party is a good investment; based as it is on the assumption that there's even going to BE a Romney inaugural.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        This is a guy who thinks $10k is a side bet… five times that probably sounds about right for a rubber-chicken banquet.

    • Callyson

      I'll wait until Tuesday, November 6th…

  • Sue4466

    Don't fret if you can't pony up the cash now, this is just for Mittens first inaugural. They'll be at least ten more.

    • http://infrogmation.livejournal.com/ Infrogmation

      For $100k, you get to stand next to him on the balcony while he's announcing he's running for a third term… AND your own planet after you die!

  • http://gratuity.wordpress.com/ Gratuitous World

    June retreat, huh?

    Burlosconi or GTFO

    • V572 Fehrnstrom

      Bunga-bunga! Will DSK be there too?

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

        Yes! And they just picked up a new security detail which suddenly became available.

        • proudgrampa

          Zing!

    • Blueb4sunrise

      I hope today is BOOBIES DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • prommie

    I'm in the mood for some "yet to be determined access" right about now.

    • V572 Fehrnstrom

      I'd only be willing to pay an indeterminate amount of money for yet to be determined access at the Republican National Convention.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      I gotcher blindfold right here!

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Not a chance … not without a safe word, at any rate.

  • unclejeems

    Isn't $50K how much Mittsy makes per minute?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Per day, actually. (If you call watching cash roll into your Caymans acccount "making" money.)

  • Allmighty_Manos

    Can you imagine how many hookers $50,000 would buy? Guess it's for the better I will never have $50,000 to waste.

    • Tundra Grifter

      In Colombia I believe that would purchase you about 1,000 nights – including tips.

    • Data Exactly

      For 50k you could probably buy god for that money. Who does Mittens think he is?!?

  • KennyFuckingPowers

    I want to see the invite to hear Dick Cheney talk about how good the government healthcare is and what a great fuckin' deal he got an his new heart.

    • freakishlywrong

      He didn't have an old heart.

      • bagofmice

        Hence the phrase "new heart".

        • Data Exactly

          Out of nowhere – It's fucking Feldspar!

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Probably a Chinese import … so I doubt he'd want to talk about it. (The baggers would be upset to find out he didn't buy American.)

      • MissNancyPriss

        Sadly, no they wouldn't. There's been a sea change in the whole "Buy American" thing and now it's us libtards that don't wanna outsource and the rethugs that think the ceos of Big This and That have the god given right to squeeze every penny out of everyone else by making their shit in China.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          And the unemployed buy into this? What the fuck is in that GOP Kool-Aid??!!

  • chascates

    How about a ride in his car elevator for $5?

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Play your cards right (pretend you're the elevator operator) and he might tip YOU $5.

      • http://bluemonkeh.blogspot.com/ BlueMonkeh

        nah….the ritcher the repug, the shittier the tip

    • Data Exactly

      For 2,000 dollars you can get a ride around the block in a cage on the top of Romney's car. At this point it'll cost 10,000 dollars to start pissing, but c'mon it's Romney! It'll be worth it!

  • boobookitteh

    He's really missing the obvious – a pair of mittens with gold plated mitten holders.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      In a cedar-lined, ruby-encrusted mitten cozy.

  • freakishlywrong

    I have no doubts if disenfranchising and cheating don't get it, the Supremes will be happy to appoint him.

  • Texan_Bulldog

    $10K for a picture with Willard? Damn, have none of his minions ever heard of Photoshop?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      $10K gets you a photo with teh cardboard cutout.

      Not that you'd, you know, know the diff.

    • chicken_thief

      Mittens does have a tendency to make some stupid bets, so while you are having your pic snapped, you could lay a wager with him and have a good chance of getting your money back.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        I wouldn't lay bricks with Itt.

  • Pragmatist2

    What's the Door Prize?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      You get to babysit Mitt's five kids for Ann.

      Also, Boobies. Too.

      • Biff

        Leave Ann's boobies alone!!!11!

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          Aw, come on! At my age, how often will I get to feel boobies untouched by human hands????

          • Biff

            Are you suggesting that Ann hired out the breast-feeding of her 5 fine young sons?

  • Baconzgood

    I'd rather keep my 60K. But that's just me. You know, kids need to have that appendectomy and I need to buy gin and all.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Pro Tip: Gin is an excellent anesthetic.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

        That's how Dr. Ron Paul used to get the arrows out of Texas Rangers' asses in Apache territory, in the Olde Days!

    • Data Exactly

      It's 10,000 dollars for Romney-brand alcohol?!? WHAT were they doing down there in Mexico?!?

  • Doktor StrangeZoom

    The hell with attending the inauguration, I want to go to the "Wheels Up Party" with the Secret Service.

  • FakaktaSouth

    The campaign is asking people who are able to make a $50,000 contribution to do so today and become a “Founding Member” of Romney Victory…as well as yet to be determined access

    For 50,000 Newt Gingrich will give you complete access to his pounding member.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      For 50,000 Newt Gingrich will give you complete access to his pounding member.

      Nikita Kruschev?

      Or did you mean "throbbing"?

      • FakaktaSouth

        Personally, now that you mention it, I would RATHER be pounded by Kruschev's shoe.

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          He had big feet, if you know what I mean.

          And I think you do…

    • prommie

      Newt's member can still "pound?" I think the process, with the newtster, could more accurately be called a damp, wheezy crushing, rather than a pounding.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Does plopping loudly against the rim of a urinal count?

        • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

          No, but it does ruin my breakfast.

      • http://guyclinch.blogspot.com GuyClinch

        Reminds me of George Burns' chestnut: "Having sex at my age is like playing pool with a rope."

        • Sir_Fartz_Alot

          VIAGRA LIBEL!!!

        • HateMachine

          Like cramming a marshmallow into a coin slot.

      • FakaktaSouth

        Look, it's not MY fault that "Newt will let you suck his shriveled up, blood-starved, diabetes ravaged, disgustingly flaccid, hidden beneath a fat apron (thank you LimeyLizzie) cock and balls" does not sound like Founding Member, is it? That's what I get for trying to be succinct and pun-eriffic. I'm glad you're back anyway.

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          Do you mind if I print this out and post it on my fridge?

          I'm trying to lose weight, see…

        • prommie

          Hey, I liked it, it was a good line. I was in the Bahamas, Abacos, for a week. The place was infested with rich Alabamians, whats up with that? Sport-fishing and Nascar go hand-in-hand, I never knew. I spent my time swimming around underwater molesting rays and sharks and whatnot.

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            Abacos?

            Damn. I've been wanting to go there. Been to Nassau/Paradise Island and T&C for diving, but Abacos has better chances for wild dolphins.

            The quiet Abacosian secret is, rednecks are too stupid and inept to actually catch fish, so divers hand-hook them while the southerners sleep off a drunk.

          • FakaktaSouth

            Oh fuck yeah, when that famous fishing guy from So Fla died week before last I heard alllll about it from the douche-crew here. Conspicuous consumption a la Captain Ahab – it's what's for dinner.

          • prommie

            There are famous fishing-guys now? There was this one fine Virginian gentleman showed up at the bar with not one, but two young ladies that he was helping with their tuition or some such mutually beneficial arrangement.

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            Well, there's Babe Winkleman and Tred Barta and whatisface from the Professional Bass Fishing Tournaments…you know, that guy!

          • PuckStopsHere

            I spent the weekend in Tuscaloosa, which was infested with Alabamans, too.

          • FakaktaSouth

            Next time holler at your girl – two wonketteers in the same place in Bammer might be just the thing that finally blows this motherfucker out.

          • PuckStopsHere

            Damn, if only I'd known. Daughter's been offered a scholarship to 'Bama so we went down to check it out. Do you know anything about the place? I have to say, I was pretty impressed.

          • FakaktaSouth

            I know EVERYthing about the place. I graduated from Bama in 94, and I have had at least one family member there ever since (and for most of the time before I was there, forever). In spite of every deservedly terrible cliche, I had a fantastic time and access to an excellent education and met many wonderful people from all over the world. There are many very fine programs depending on what it is your daughter wants to study. (As well as being the record holder of most National Championships…in…debate. Suck it, #2 Harvard Crimson. Also, the fairly new Frozen Tide won the SEC Hockey Championship and went to the NCAAs as well this year…just ya know, in case you were wondering about the winter sports…)

          • PuckStopsHere

            I wish there was a way we could talk without ruining our secret identities. I'm trying to convince daughter that UA is the way to go but she like Oklahoma a tiny bit more. Thing is, Alabama is offering a full ride (I know, right? I spent my time walking around that campus thinking, "They are going to let you go here for free? Where do we sign?") We are from the Detroit area and I think she's worried about culture shock a little, but I think she would thrive there.

          • FakaktaSouth

            Oh man, full ride. I have three kids' worth of tuition to get through. Way to have a good one! (even if she makes you pay some) I have never been to Norman, but all the people I have met through their football contingency were truly, incredibly nice. I envy her going to school now, wherever she chooses, she's going to be far away and doing a whole new thing environmentally – and I'd give anything to have had the internets when I was doing academics…lemme know if she decides to try being a southern belle!

          • PuckStopsHere

            Thanks. She's a National Merit Scholar and she earned it–she did the work, etc. I am REALLY hoping for Alabama, but Norman is "only" 275 miles further away. I'm going to see Alex Avila, the catcher for the Detroit Tigers and a 'Bama alum, on Thursday and will ask him to put a word in for the Tide.

          • FakaktaSouth

            We are de facto Tigers fans – before because of the BhamBarons/Tigers connections, and now because of Jim Leyland and MOST of all Alex. When we saw AA on sportscenter hugging Justin Verlander on Monday, my hubs said, you know he's 36th on the MLB top 100? Very proud! My 11yo son got a whole set of catching gear as a little one because of Alex, and now we don't have season Bama tickets because he's a travel ball kid. Man if Alex can't talk her into it, probably no one can. I'm also sure the admin told you a thousand times, but Bama is ranked sixth nationally among pub schools in the number of enrolled NMScholars, so she wouldn't be left adrift in a sea of moronic Jethros here, I promise! We are also REAL heavy on out of staters because we don't have the lottery, or the scholarship programs that go along with it, so a lot of kids from everywhere come here. Probably would have been better not to come when it was ADay and all the freaks were in the street…but, as Saint Nick says, it is what it is…We bring our crazies right out in to the living room when company comes over, ya know?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Way to go, Dude. If you will it, it is no dream.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Editrix, I bet you $10,000 I can get one for half off

    • Data Exactly

      You can get a Romney Presidential Inauguration for $0,000 dollars if he doesn't win. Think about all the people who won't be there – Ronald Reagan, Charleston Heston, Clark Gable, Stonewall Jackson, Merv Griffin…

  • Arken

    Newt was going to do the same thing, but he already sold off all the tickets for his first ten nominations back in 1998.

  • Baconzgood

    50K buys you a whole lotta magic panties.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Pre-worn by Japanese schoolgirls?

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        That's a very different kind of magic.

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    What would it cost to participate in his posthumous inauguration? Probably not as much, because I'd guess that Mormons get to vote in the afterlife, so we've probably had a few million Mormon presidents already.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      I guarantee we've had forty or so.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I wonder if Gingrich has sent in his $50K yet.

    • chicken_thief

      The check is in the mail….

    • http://guyclinch.blogspot.com GuyClinch

      I imagine he'll bounce that check on purpose, for the laughs

  • fartknocker

    Every time the GOP asks me for money for their special inaugural needs or an election, I take $10 bucks out of my wallet and put it in an envelope. My envelope has $90 bucks in it. The next GOP douchebag who robocalls me or sends me mail gets the gift of me sending all the money in the envelope to the Re-elect Obama campaign. These Koch sucking misogynists want nothing but more wars, cheap fuel, and more Reaganomics. I’ve lived long enough to know their strategies are wrong.

    Obama hasn’t been effective as I would have liked. But I damn sure know that Mitt in all his infinite wisdom is so disconnected with the reality of the American middle class and the women in my life that he’s not what my family or neighbors need as a President.

    • DaRooster

      It is hard for one branch to function well… with the others all disfuntion-y…

    • Tundra Grifter

      When I hear one of those right wing gasbags on the radio rant and rave about the American Civil Liberties Union it generally reminds me it is time to renew.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Just promised the DNC more dough than I can really afford — but in the long run, I figure I can even less afford a GOPtard in the White House.

      My name will appear on the internet, of course, for any and all wingtards to see and maybe decide they don't want to give me business. Unlike the fucking billionaires who donate millions anonymously to PACs, without anybody knowing who they are. (Because THAT would be unconstitutional.)

  • OC_Surf_Serf

    Meh. Typical rich white guy and serious money to celebrate at his Balls.

    • MosesInvests

      Some balls are held for charity, some balls are held full-dress,
      But when balls are held for pleasure, that's the balls that I like best….

  • chicken_thief

    "…and become a “Founding Member” of Romney Victory. These donors will be invited to a special retreat with Governor Romney in late June in California …"

    He stole that idea from the Perry-winkle campaign. Only Rick had "Pounding Members" and the retreat was a stag affair at Niggerhead.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    So, does this offer come with a money-back guarantee? If not, caveat emptor.

    • nedbeaumontjr

      Past non-performance is no guaranty of future non-performance.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      If I can get the same 5,000% return that Mitt got from Bain on his IRA money, I'll sign on. Otherwise, fuck him.

  • HippieEsq

    I know what happens at these retreats…."I LOVE THE LEADER"
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7fnmhj58o0k

  • http://guyclinch.blogspot.com GuyClinch

    It goes on, "The special retreat will include a workshop on ironing jeans, an investigation of the combustibility of the world's currencies, and a panel called "Shake It Up: A Look at the Strange World of Adherence to 'Principles'."

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      And for the little women: "A Day In The Life Of A 'Working Mom': A Role-Playing Seminar For Rich White Ladies"

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        "A Day In The Life Of A 'Working Mom': A Role-Playing Seminar Game For Rich White Ladies"

        fify

  • chicken_thief

    I'll think about coughing up the $50k if Ann is part of the catering and clean up crew.

  • freakishlywrong

    The only value here is to be able to walk through that retreat helicopter punching everything in sight.

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    *regarding photo*: Is the guy to Mitt's right, whose mouth is stuffed with bills, gonna be Best Man at this effectively, farcical wedding of class warfare merchants to their non-blushing corporate financiers?

    Note: if on first read you thought I'd typed "mouth stuffed with balls," well my point stands either way, really.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Those are bills?

      I thought they were calzones.

      My respect for Itt could not have gotten lower, or so I thought.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I hope he cries like a little bitch when he gives his concession speech in November. I will laugh heartily.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Part of why I was hoping Santorum would win was to see that daughter cry again.

      • Chick-Fil-Atheistâ„¢

        NO KIDS, MANG!

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          Oh, I wasn't making fun of her! I was making fun of a father who would fly in the face of reality to assure his children that he'd win a race he lost by 18 points.

          (think that gets me out of the doghouse?)

          • bagofmice

            Bush league.

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            And you'll notice Jenna never spilled a drop, no matter how many times she stumbled and fell.

          • An_Outhouse

            Stop making fun of retards!

    • http://guyclinch.blogspot.com GuyClinch

      At least he'll have wads of hundred-dollar bills to wipe his tears with and blow his nose into.

      • An_Outhouse

        hundred-dollar bills and blow always sound good together in a sentance

    • prommie

      Not that there is anything wrong with being a bitch, of course.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      Continuing the tour of my '80s record collection, somebody should rewrite this for the Obama Re-election Inaugural Ball:
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5G5gqL6ESg

  • widestanceromance

    How much for the 'First Inauguration Accomplished' banner?

  • Chick-Fil-Atheistâ„¢

    How much to get the HD Radio (whatever the fuck that is)?

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    I wonder if mittens will take a post dated check?

    • http://infrogmation.livejournal.com/ Infrogmation

      Newt? Is that you?

  • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

    Mittens, counting chickens.
    ~

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    OK, this is just creepy

    • Baconzgood

      Ron Paul has 52 delegates?!?!?!?! Scary.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Shows where the "OK, Romney is adequate" states are, and the "Christ, no, anybody but Romney" states are. No surprises, IMO.

    • An_Outhouse

      God is none too pleased about this and sent a wall of tornados to visit his wrath upon the low IQ Santorum voters.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Anyone notice how the local yokels, for some reason, just this one time, decided to pay attention to the climate scientists (who are so completely wrong about global warming?)

  • tcaalaw

    Some gay couple (one of whose members has a unisex or ambiguously-gendered first name) should sign-up for the photo with Mitt for the sheer amount of foot-in-mouth damage they could inflict on his campaign. (I'm envisioning that the campaign would probably withdraw the offer, refund the money, invite them back for a free photo with Mitt, cancel the free photo shoot, and eventually have Mitt mail them an autographed photo. All in about a 24 hour window of time and transparently played out in full HD on national television.)

    • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

      Ha, ha,ha!
      (But you're assuming the campaign would have its act together!)

    • BerkeleyBear

      Better yet, a pre-op transexual who is living as a woman, but it is glaringly obvious she's a man up close, so Mitt looks ridiculously uncomfortable in the pic.

      And no, I wasn't talking about Ann Coulter.

    • Biff

      "I'm running for office, for pete's sake–I can't have any illegals gheys!"

    • proudgrampa

      Ambiguously-gendered couples:

      Pat and Whitney
      Jessie and Riley
      Peyton and Finley
      Sidney and Addison
      Taylor and Tracy

  • DaRooster

    The RNC in Tampa… in August… in suits?

    Man, these dumb fucks are dumb… and fucks.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Cold-blooded lizardoids don't feel the heat like normal humans

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        That's why they sun themselves in places like Palm Beach.

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          And feel a draft anyplace north of Daytona Beach

    • OneYieldRegular

      Did you learn nothing from Dubya locating his Vacation White House in Crawford, Texas?

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        That was so Cheney could lie on the rocks, anonymously, among the gila monsters.

  • The_Trainman

    Naked photos of wife Anne sprawled across a Cadillac can be had for a mere 20K. Add another 5K and The Rom will toss in a set of Michelle Bachmann bitch-slapping her aberrant sex-reformed husband.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      What will it cost me not to have to see that?

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    Weren't we just discussing Rmoney's definition of 'dignity' in terms of working and earning? The notion that a donor can be coaxed by the promise of a photo op taken with a yet to be elected, MUCH LESS yet to be proven an effective leader of the free world — as opposed to say, an ignominious failure of one — then that is hardly dignifiying the office. It's like when Clay Aiken appeared last night on whatever show it was, I just read the caption "Clay Aiken — Pop Idol" — as if being an American Idol alumnus affords you 'Pop Idol' status. The term is totally self-defined, in the eye of the beholder, and way out of proportion in time and/or space to what traditionally has evoked such an identifier.

    • sullivanst

      Interestingly enough, "Pop Idol" was the title of the English original of the show known in this country as "American Idol"*.

      Is The Donald going all Yooropeen on us? Does anyone give a flying fuck what that fat turd with a couple of deceased guinea pigs on his head says anyway?

      * And how sad is it when American TV execs are so utterly incapable of original thought that, having run out of ideas for reality TV and run out of British original programming, they start ripping off British reality TV?

  • GeorgiaBurning

    That "Founding Member of Romney Victory" stuff sounds good, but I'm sure the "Platinum Elite Romney Heralds" will still get to board first and grab all the carry-on space on the Inaugural Retreat. Besides, even Willard is smart enough to ignore a fool who'd pay $50,000 to attend a timeshare presentation

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    So the first "undocumented" meeting with industrialists, à la Dick Cheney and the oil industry, is already scheduled?

    I'd have sworn they'd wait till after the election to get down to business as usual.

  • Fare la Volpe

    When Romney has an offer to blow my load in his face, then I'll consider it.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      I have to be careful with things like that. I figure we each have a quota and I wouldn't want to waste one of my dwindling resources on him.

      For less than a half mill, I mean.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      What the hell, do you have a secret crush on him, or does he also need to provide a Fluffer?!

      • Fare la Volpe

        No. I just figure if Romney's gonna whore himself out for my money, I might as well get my money's worth.

  • Barb

    Mitt Romney: Fox News Has Been Good To Me
    He called Fox News viewers "true believers," but said that he needed to broaden his reach to independent and female voters. According to NBC News, Romney also said, "We are behind when it comes to commentators on TV. They tend to be liberal. Where we are ahead or even is on Twitter and on the Internet."

    —————————————-
    This guy is a big enough douche to cleanse a whale's vagina.
    I wonder how many Fox News viewers have $50,000.00 to give him.

    • freakishlywrong

      Liberal? Have no fear, Mittens, David Gregory will blow you as hard as Hannity does.

      • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

        Here's Driftglass, with the best pic of Dancin' Dave ever.
        ~

        • freakishlywrong

          That image. That image is disturbing, and yet, so fitting.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      "He called Fox News viewers "true believers," but said that he needed to broaden his reach to independent and female voters."

      I don't suppose he disclosed which group will he will be lying to. (Fucking git probably doesn't know himself.)

      • Biff

        Pretty much all of them.

  • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

    This picture:
    It's as if someone said: "Come on, Mitt! It's not like you're going to run for president someday!"

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    Photo above: New Year's Eve Party, Overlook Hotel, 1921

    All pay and no job makes Mitt a dull boy
    All pay and no job makes Mitt a dull boy
    All pay and no job makes Mitt a dull boy
    All pay and no job makes Mitt a dull boy
    All pay and no job makes Mitt a dull boy
    All pay and no job makes Mitt a dull boy
    All pay and

    • OneYieldRegular

      $50,000 will help pay for the special servant hired to chase his wife and five kids around the 11,000 square foot home with an ax.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        "Heeeeere's… Romney!"

  • Terry

    "These donors will be invited to a special retreat with Governor Romney in late June in California and will have preferred status at the first Presidential Inaugural retreat…"

    You know, the GOP big time donors are going to be very disappointed in these special retreats. They're used to being wined and dined, taken to bondage clubs, plied with liquor, and the like. A Romney function may not even have coffee served.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      Mormon clergy will be on hand for expedited marriages and divorces on the evening of the retreat, if you know what I mean.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    For $37.38 I will photoshop a picture of you and Mitt Romney.

  • http://lovematters-manabouttown.blogspot.com/ UnionAgitator

    $50,000 for Mitt but not a penny for Secret Service whores?

    Republicans really are just a bunch of bum-fuck cheapskates.

    • DahBoner

      In post-cartel Columbia, puta pays YOU!

  • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

    O.T.: FAUX Nooze mole squeaks! Err, speaks.
    ~

  • littlebigdaddy

    Hey Mittens! I got yer 50 large right here! (Grabs crotch).

  • http://wonkette.com/ outragedcitizen

    I would go to a "special retreat" with Romney if he paid me $50K.

  • rickmaci

    "Though you moan
    And you groan
    Quite a lot,
    You can take it
    On the chin,
    Call a cab,
    And begin
    To recover
    On your fourteen-
    Carat yacht.

    Money makes the world go around,
    The world go around,
    The world go around,
    Money makes the world go around,
    Of that we can be sure."

  • DonnyKerabotsos

    Since this involves 'retreating' and not 'reloading' Mitt should not expect a donation from SarahPAC.

  • littlebigdaddy

    I hear Ms. Lindsey throws a better retreat.

  • DahBoner

    Does he accept Food stamps?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Alright, two hours since this post was put up. We're getting back to the good old days!

    • Geminisunmars

      RS is just giving you a chance to get your work done for the week, so you can relax and Wonkout for the rest of the time.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Dang. I'm headed to DC for three days and will be out of the loop anyway. I need to post today!!!

  • James Michael Curley

    What can I get for my tax refund? ($0.98)

  • James Michael Curley

    No thanks, I'll just fart them away.

  • Callyson

    the sad puddings behind Newt Gingrich’s $50 photo ops are gnashing their teeth at the unusual smallness of a Gingrich Idea

    Callista could have tipped them off.

  • Tundra Grifter

    I'm gonna wait for the Groupon.

  • Tundra Grifter

    How much for a Lincoln Bedroom overnite?

  • Barrelhse

    Let's all do it- Maybe we can derail the political process!
    And while we will all enjoy the retreat, aren't we supposed to reload instead?

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    OT/ Kenyan wins Boston Marathon (again)

  • An_Outhouse

    No posts in 2-1/2 hours. I guess everyone got emancipated on Emancipation Day. Fuckin' bankers.

  • An_Outhouse

    "preferred status at the first Presidential Inaugural retreat"

    How many retreats are being planned?

  • Blueb4sunrise

    skullfuck

    • BarackMyWorld

      balls.

      • Blueb4sunrise

        It worked…….new thread………

  • owhatever

    Gee, what a swinging, wild party that will be. Jesus wants to attend, but he doesn't have $50,000 and the money-lenders won't give him a loan.

    • Biff

      Are they still pissed at (H)im for throwing them out of the temple that one time?

      • DahBoner

        Hell, that's the reason why the Roman Gum'mint executed him!

        99% Troublemaker!

        GET A FRICKING JOB AND A HAIRCUT, HIPPY JESUS

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    *hangs head in shame*

  • Biff

    Herman Cain libel!

  • BarackMyWorld

    Even after Citizens United, I'm not sure if/how this is legal.

  • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Mumbly_Joe

    In other news, the Cleveland Browns have announced that they are going to start selling tickets for their inevitable 2013 Super Bowl appearance.

  • DahBoner

    Real Americans have Swiss Bank accounts, my friends…

  • Troglodeity

    Romney's not even elected yet and he's already talking RETREATING. Traitor!

  • ttommyunger

    Will he take a check? Newt was just asking.