I name me!Why is Ronald Reagan always trying to wage class warfare on executives paying less than their secretaries? Why does he want to punish people for success, by making them pay the same tax rate as a bunch of unemployed losers, like you? Why does Ronald Reagan hate Mitt Romney, and America? Maybe when he was naming names to Joseph McCarthy and HUAC he should have named HIMSELF! Watch Ronald Reagan gay-marry Barack Obama and Warren Buffett (Mormon-style!) after the jump!

Here is Ronald Reagan — known labor-unionist! — just cold being a super pinko commie Stalinite Trotskyite Leninist Marxist Maoist Bolshevik Liberation Theologist red. BURN HIM.


Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • Barb

    Why does Ronald Reagan hate Mitt Romney?
    We all do! Romney is a douche and his wife is a sitting-on-a-fancy-horse bon bon snarfing super lazy bitch douche.

  • Texan_Bulldog

    Silly, Editrix. Ronnie is white.

    • HippieEsq

      And to them, the Reagan video is as authentic as Obama's birth certificate.

  • HempDogbane

    You mean when he was naming names to Ron Johnson?

  • Schmannnity

    Well, there you go again with your Liberal tricks.

    • Schmannity, have I told you lately how I love your avatar?

      • Schmannnity


  • SexySmurf

    Obama is so much like St. Ronnie that Nancy tried to give him a blowjob.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      She tries to give *everybody* a blowjob. Famous for it.

      • It drove the White House tour guides nuts.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          "No! Mrs. Reagan, OH GOD FOR PETES SAKE, No!"

          "Hello, reception? Yeah this is Chad on three east. Can we get the secret service in here again? Please tell them to hurry."

          • Radio福井県

            At least Nancy worked it. More than we can say for St. Ann of the Poorz.

          • Dudleydidwrong

            "Sorry, Chad. The Secret Service detail isn't here. They're off at Madam Susie's DC House of Pleasure" or something like that. They said they were, um, getting pizza. Shall I call someone else?"

          • Ha, "Three East" was the name of our local loony bin. Is that a "thing"?

          • Lascauxcaveman

            Third floor, east wing. Where all the Whitehouse BJ's is happening. And fax machines, bitchezzz!

    • Steverino247

      What do tightrope walking and Nancy Reagan blowjobs have in common?


    • rmjagg1

      I'd think that her mouf would be tired by now …

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Also, in those nerdly glasses, young Ronald Regan reminds me of young Al Franken.

    Funny how our roads take us many different ways.

  • Aridzona

    This is all so Alan West.

    • V572 Fehrnstrom

      As veep candidate, Rep. West is gonna give Mittens the conserva-loon cred he needs to just stomp Barry this fall. It worked for McCai….wait, what?

  • Think Ronnie had been snortin' too much 20 Mule Team Borax, the original brain bleach and one of Saint Ronnie's proud sponsors on the teevee.

    • Biff

      "Death Valley Days, starring John Wayne!"
      //Cheech and Chong

  • SayItWithWookies

    If there's anything Ronald Reagan has taught us about history, it's that history isn't meant to be remembered, it's meant to be idealized. Thus, Ronald Reagan actually said that the tax code as it now stands is perfect, and shouldn't be altered in any way, especially since he retroactively swore the Grover Norquist oath. Because, like smoking Chesterfields, it's good for your T-zone.

    • Ehhhhhhh, sit on it, Wookies. All the motorcycle enthusiasts were polite young greasers like tha Fonz and nary an uppity black person in sight or a sassy bra burner around. Ehhhhhhhh!

      • All our juvenile delinquents were Eddie Haskells — "That's a lovely dress, Mrs. Cleaver! Hey, Wally, let's go burn down the garage!"

    • BarackMyWorld
    • CapnFatback

      Hey, I got a better idea! Let's take a Winston Break.

    • V572 Fehrnstrom

      Twenty-one great tobaccos make twenty wonderful smokes!

      • not that Dewey

        L.S.M.F.T. — It's Toasted!

    • Negropolis

      Also taught to us by Reagan is the gulf between what one does and what one says. I do hope we all realize that for whatever he said, his actual policies when put in to practice differed very little from what we have today, particularly on taxation. He may not have talked about "job creators", but he is the father of Trickle-Down.

  • SkinnyNerd

    This only shows that we have moved so far to the right, that our so called Democratic president is using the same language as Reagan. Even worse, many bank heads were sent to prison under Republican Reagan. Heard of any this time around? Seems to me that not only are the Republicans way to the right of Reagan, but many of our Democratic representatives are as well.

    • SkinnyNerd

      Not funny dude. Next time, say something witty.

    • CivicHoliday

      and there goes my weekend

    • BarackMyWorld

      Okay…but is there quantitative proof of this, though?

      Wait, there is?

      Political Scientist: Republicans Most Conservative They've Been In 100 Years

      Alrighty, then.

      • Or, as a teatard FB friend commented when I posted that very same link this morning:

        "Actually both parties have moved further left IMO."

        I wrote that if he had bothered to read the article, no, he's wrong, there are facts and science based on observable data, and then there's his worthless opinion.
        So he sez:

        Science can prove or disprove anything they attempt to. If elected so called conservatives actually did what their constituencies wanted it would be much different.

        Then I accused him of… well, I wrote:

        "So you didn't read the article, you just thought "I don't think people are conservative enough!" as you fired revolvers in the air and shouted "Yeeeeeehaaaawwwww!"?"

        Anywaaays, that guy (Dr. Poole) has a great blog with RSS feed (often all statisticky and eye-glazing, but still good), and here's the precursor of that NPR article:

        • Fukui-sanYesOta

          Science can prove or disprove anything they attempt to.

          Hmm. I just attempted to prove that light was actually made of discarded General Motors bond certificates and failed miserably. So either his assertion is the eyeroll-inducing babble of the stiflingly pig-ignorant or I'm a shite scientist.

          Given that in his assertion science itself is attempting to prove things rather than scientists, I'm gonna go with pig-ignorant.

  • Lucidamente1

    But what about the Laffer Curve?

    • proudgrampa

      Now THAT was funny!

  • You can't say "Buffet Rule" cauz that's OUR word, liebtards.

    • Callyson

      Hey, we co – opted "Obamacare"…

      • DahBoner

        Obama: America will Stand Tall Once Again

  • Radio福井県

    I guess "tear down this wall" was a two way street. Everyone knows a progressive tax is a pillar of Marxism.

    • Boojum

      Suck down my balls was strictly one way, however.

  • horsedreamer_1

    Well… Well… Well….

    • DahBoner

      There you go again!

  • That video looks photoshopped, in fact I think that was actually an animatronic Reagan. Same technology as the Mitt/2000, I believe.

    Dems cleverly planted the stories in past newscasts the same way they did the Obama birth announcement. Some kind of Google worm thing, they're in the tank for Obama too…

  • Being black and the President of the United States is treason.

    Being a Republican president and giving Iranian terror groups large amounts of weapons however, is awesome!

    • James Michael Curley

      Just recently I saw the video of an interview with St. Ronny about a year after he left office and the question was posed about the increasing amount of evidence that was accumulating that his highest staffers and cabinet members were fully knowledgeable about the whole Iran/Contra deals and the Oliver North as a rogue operative was crumbling. Reagan was persistently claiming to have had no knowledge. I just sat there thinking either he was the biggest, clueless idiot who was ever president or serious Alzheimer was onset in the middle of his term.

      • Yeah, Republicans seem to not realize that Reagan not knowing what was going on with his administration is actually worse than being a part of the long term criminal acts.

  • This is going to hold up the Reagan Mt. Rushmore project indefinitely.

  • BarackMyWorld

    This is good news for the people Reagan helped get blacklisted.

  • Ok, so Reagan had similar ideas about taxing the rich – but WHY does Obama continue to hate our troops, all Catholics and now our stay at home moms???????????

    • stillonline

      He doesn't. The propaganda machine is in full swing when (a former Hillary Clinton supporter who is not now and has never been part of the Obama team) a CNN employee makes a stupid remark and it gets spun into "Obama hates Moms" P/S Michelle Obama is a stay at home Mom.
      Obama hates the troops? Bullshit.

  • BarackMyWorld

    The only Buffet rule the Tea Party cares about:
    Don't cut in line at Golden Corral.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Yeah right. I suppose now you're going to tell us that J Edgar Hoover was gay, Thomas Jeffeserson fucked slaves and W was a dummy.

  • littlebigdaddy

    Yeah, try this at the next party where there are teabaggers present: Say "The greatest president of the past 100 years was a big-time union boss with ties to Hollywood, who lived most of his life in LA." I'll bet you can get them to disagree with that. Then watch their heads explode.

    • rmjagg1

      and what if their pants explode instead ? who'd be sorry then ?

  • ttommyunger

    Was this before or after he was President of the Screen Actors Guild and snitching on all his friends and enemies to J. Edgar Hoover? Never bought any 20 Mule Team Borax and never voted for him, either.

  • pinkocommi

    There is nothing more un-American than the concept of doing your "fair share."

  • Radio福井県

    Next thing you know, we'll all be walking around with Reagan hoodies.

  • proudgrampa

    "Sleepwalking through history" says it all about the Reagan presidency. He hardly knew where he was most of the time.

  • Doktor StrangeZoom

    Well, the first thing I want to say is Mandate, my ass.

    • LibrulEleet

      No, you can't be my mandate, and I have no interest in your ass. Not that there's anything wrong with that if you're so inclined, but I'm not.

  • a_pink_poodle

    Why does Reagan hate our freedomes?

  • MiniMencken

    I, I think I just shed a tear…

  • comrad_darkness

    Reagan was our first black president.

  • wvfii

    oic, one of these dudes is a black feller

  • new_pic_for_NEWTer

    Completely OT but I must thank the Commenteriat for the pure brilliance of the Arizona gun nut thread. My wife was reading them to me as we drove about on our errands of mindless consumerism this morning and the result was several near fatalities, an asthma attack and fluid soaked underwear. Y'all motherfuckers are hilarious motherfuckers.
    Thank you and carry on…

    • Negropolis

      Well, we do try.

  • Man0nTheStreet

    Even further OT, but prob'ly relevant to a few Wonketters – has Pat Robertson or any other TV-preecher mentioned yet how the storms currently tearin' up FlyOver-land are nothing less than THE WRATH OF GOD delivering DIVINE PUNISHMENT for the MONSTROUS SINS of "Real America" ?

    • No, but I do. Texas, Kansas, Oklahoma — worse, worser, worsest. Arkansas, Missouri, Indiana — used to be not so bad, needin' a little schoolin' these days. Papal Pardon for Wonkets living in these areas. May the wind blow around your homesteads and land squarely on the Kansas State House.

    • horsedreamer_1

      The Faithful suffer for not doing enough to lead we heathens out of sin.

      • Man0nTheStreet

        Cleetus died for his own sins, not mine…

    • James Michael Curley

      He's been on that shtick for years. I recall a show he did in 1984-5 where he linked a hurricane's turn into Virginia Beach with the popularization of some TV show about an unwed mother. The hurricane was going up the Atlantic, off the coast, and turned west into Virginia Beach. I kept telling Mrs. Curley that he was wrong, God was sending the hurricane after Pat.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      The best part, for me, is that these plagues were prophesied by them godless, socialist, Merka-hatin' climate scientists (you know, the ones who can't possibly be right about global warming.)

  • Only one of them sold weapons illegally to the Iranians.

    • Then "cut and ran" after those friendly Iranians killed 241 of our soldiers in one go.

      But hey, we totally kicked the crap out of Grenada!

      • Doktor StrangeZoom

        7000 troops participated, and the Pentagon gave out 8612 medals. As Garry Trudeau said, it was like Special Olympics for the military.

        • DahBoner

          "7000 troops participated, and the Pentagon gave out 8612 medals"

          Math is hard, don't let the Pentagon do your taxes.

  • BlueStateLibel

    Nothing beats messing with those teatards' heads, does it?

  • sbj1964

    The GOP (Greedy One Percent) stealing from the Middle class,and giving to the rich.Robin Hoods they are not. Just hoods.

  • C_R_Eature

    So, he's a Commie, girl?

  • I blame Betsy Bloomingdale.

    • Angry_Marmot

      That's okay, she blamed Vicky Morgan.

      • Oh, wow, I forgot all about that. It speaks to Betsy's power that the story isn't revisited on 20/20 annually.

  • Dudleydidwrong

    The best quick take on St. Ronnie?

    • bikerlaureate

      Me gusta.

      (I never like to let an opportunity pass without slamming him for ignoring GRID / HIV.)

      • McDonnellville

        In talking with young 'uns (anyone born around 1990), I've found that they have a hard time understanding all the fear & paranoia that surrounded HIV back in the 1980s that was encouraged by the right wing.
        I was just a kid then but, at the time, I remember thinking there was something really wrong about the hysteria & Reagan's silence on the subject.
        When I met older gay people after I came out & heard their stories of caring for dying friends & lovers, I hated Reagan even more.
        I don't care if he was in the early stages of Alzheimer's. His disregard was nothing short of criminal, imo.

        • James Michael Curley

          In a couple venues, Surgeon General C Everett Koop has documented the willful dismissal of all the scientific evidence accumulating at the time about AID/HIV transmission citing the embarrassment Reagan,and many high level staffers, experienced over the discussion of how homosexual sex occurred. Still Koop was able to prevail sufficiently to mail Understanding Aids to over 100,000,000 households (addresses). It took from early 1982 to October 1986 for Koop and the CDC to get approval to study and report on the spread of AIDS/HIV. That report was circulated in a printing of 20 million copies (I think) and it took until Spring of 1988 before the condensed version was mailed.

          We often mock Geraldo Revera for his stupidity. His several episodes on his late night show dealing with the AIDS/HIV epidemic and pumping up the scare issues was often cited by Koop as a factor in the selling of the idea of a national mailing. Geraldo was circulating the widest possible "if a fag sneezes on you" type of bull shit.

        • DahBoner

          This was coming out of every Conservative mouth in the early 80's:

          "AIDS–That's because of the way THEY do it, i.e. Assfucking….

  • Nixon's Attorney General John Mitchell was quoted as saying, "This country is going so far to the right that you won't recognize it." and it often seems it has. 9-11 sure as hell hit a reset, moving the country into a war-like mentality. Carter and Clinton framed Reagan with deregulations of their own, and by now a moderate centrist like Obama looks like a flaming Red to the right, a Reagan Democrat to the left. I always forget that about half the population is dumb as rocks, it suprises me how center/center-right we are on the whole (personally I think center/center-left really, but that's not the consensus view). Yet on social issues, we're almost at the "Well, now that Grandma is dead…" stage on things like decriminalizing pot or legalizing gay marriage — a "meh" issue in 2012 that likely swung the 2004 election to Bush. Anyway, oldie but goody, my favorite Reagan:

    • LetUsBray

      I still submit that it was St. Ronnie who sent us careening off towards the insane right. Certainly he was the one who made the idea of a complete fucking moron holding high office respectable. He also legitimized the notion that looking out for the common good of society is something limp-wristed and shameful. Yes, Nixon launched the Southern Strategy, but Reagan made it so Nixon's "silent majority" never again saw the need to shut their damn mouths, whether they really were any sort of majority or not.

      In short, Zombie Reagan needs a good skull-fucking.

    • Negropolis

      It's a strange dichotomy, isn't it? We seem to be moving both further to the left and further to the right, simultaneously.

  • FACT: Before he was the President, he was the Cattle Queen of Montana.

  • You have got to be shitting me. I knew those Daily Kosers were good for something.

    • Radio福井県

      What a shit job: going through old Raygun speeches. It's like washing Newt's tighty whities. Ewww.

      • I can't imagine researching like that. I had the attention span of a gnat, and then the internet blowtorched it into ash and scattered it to the winds with a leaf blower.

  • By the way, the city or area where I live is currently drowning. I-80 is under water and the TeeVee keeps beep beep beeping.

    • HistoriCat

      Dude – stay safe!

    • Doktor StrangeZoom

      Be safe, bird man. And take many awesome photos!

    • Where do you live? Omaha? I'm in Iowa, and it's getting a little hairy.

    • I'm in Lincoln, The first round is over, but there's more to come. I work all night so I'll be up. I'm kinda in charge of a bunch of people so I have to keep my eye on the weather. Tomorrow morning will be a good day for birds because the storms will knock them down from their regularly scheduled migration flight. Weather permitting, I'm gonna head out to the local wetlands and see what the storm brought in.

      • Be careful. Wrap the computer in plastic.

    • ChernobylSoup

      I told you Earth wasn't a good place to hide. It's always the first place they look and they'll take out a whole planetary grid square to get you of that's what it takes.

      • We wouldn't have to worry about that if the Left-Wing Juggernaut hadn't de-funded Reagan's Star Wars.

    • I think it's over….thank God! What a nightmare night. I'm a night manager at a motel and the Tornado warning sirens went off about 11:40 p.m. The people from Nebraska in the Motel pretty much know what to do, the people that are not from these here parts started panicking and coming down to the office and calling non-stop. The Weather got real bad real fast and a Tornado was spotted not far from here. I brought a few of them into the breakfast area, not that it would be any safer, but so I could calm them down. About that time a very schizophrenic lady that we had kicked out last week because she liked to play with fire showed up out of the blue screaming for me to call 911 for her. The people that I had in here started panicking again. I called 911 and when you do that a fire truck, paramedic truck and cops show up sirens a blazing. This of course doesn't help matters either.. I need more money or free booze or something.

  • not that Dewey

    My fellow Americans, I'm pleased to tell you today that I've signed legislation that will outlaw Kleptocrats forever. We begin bombing in five minutes.

  • C_R_Eature

    Here you go, Ronnie – a nice old-timey tune for you: So long, Mom.

    It was real relaxing having you in the White House going on and on about Armageddon and Evil Empires in the 80's and having Nancy consult Astrologers to help you decide while we were all living one fuckup and a 30 minute ballistic flightpath away from total incineration.

    Good times.

  • Warpde

    Now, if those clips were shot in black and white instead of color I could see the difference……….Oooo! that didn't sound right…….I'm not sayi'n black vs white…..ommm!………color just……oh, fuck it.

  • Callyson

    This gives The Gipper's quip "Facts are stubborn things" a whole new meaning…

    • not that Dewey

      Actually, Ronaldus Magnus botched even that. He was trying to quote John Adams "facts are stubborn things", but ended up saying "facts are stupid things".

    • Dudleydidwrong

      If you play that clip with the sound off it sounds better.

  • lulzmonger

    Also, Reagan was copacetic with banning ALL nukes during his 1987 confab with Gorbachev, ergo he was exactly like Neville Chamberlain appeasing Hitler in 1938!

  • Negropolis

    You'd really think the constant use of Reagan's stances on taxes would have shut down this whole "job creator" bullshit talking point by now. But…it hasn't.

    • Fukui-sanYesOta

      They can't admit it. Like Eric Cantor refusing to admit St Reagan ever raised taxes, and his press agent stopping a 60 minutes interview claiming it was all lies.

      It's impossible for them to reconcile truth with their masturbatory hagiographic horseshit about that dimwitted actor-turned-president.

      • Radio福井県

        Hey, Fukui, yeah whatever you said, but good to see you back. I guess I have to change my moniker. Any ideas?

        • Fukui-sanYesOta

          It's good to be back, as I said in my other comments.

          People here are funny as fuck and fucking ace. I can't stay away!

          edit: Radio FuckRmoney?

      • commiegirl

        Fukui YOU ARE HOME!

        • Fukui-sanYesOta

          I missed it too much! It's my favourite site. Things may be shite, but wonkette and the commenters always deliver a smile.

          edit: and thank you!

  • Ronnie Reagan: "Let the bosses take the losses."

  • Negropolis

    Mr. Gorbachev, tear. down. this. split-screen!

  • Now that "Texts From Hillary" is done, why not try "Alec on ALEC"?

  • littlebigdaddy

    Overflowing colostomy bag Newt Gingrich claims that Ronald Reagan knew/cared who he was back in the 80s.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Funniest thing you'll read all day:
    How Romney will win the women's vote

    (Just pretend it is satire, since it's just as ridiculous.)

    Romney, with his experience in getting a popular (and constitutional!) health care reform plan implemented at the state level, is the perfect candidate to talk about effective reforms at the nationally.

    • Fukui-sanYesOta

      That is awesome in its sexism. Although the "SALT LAKE, April 15, 2012" makes me think MORMON DICKHEAD.

      Ok, a little take to pieces

      For example, he has sought to solidify his popularity among women, which waned in 2010. But by manufacturing a controversy over birth control, he has (so far) moved a debate over the First Amendment to one about reproductive choices.

      Huh. I think that was more an argument fomented by nutball teabaggers. Moving on.

      Unless Mitt Romney implodes, women will likely cross to the Republican column as they did in the midterms two years ago.

      go on …

      If there is one correlation in the recent poling that stands out above all else, it is that women favor the more likeable candidate.

      So you're saying women are as stupid, if not more so, than men, is that the deal? Let's see.

      With jobs unavailable, soccer, the PTA, after school programs, and all of the other traditional mom issues take a back seat.

      I believe I'm banned from calling for machinegunning, so I won't.

      Gas prices, too, are a constant reminder to the moms who have to haul kids back and forth from school that things aren't improving fast enough.

      Because women are too fucking stupid to understand anything more than that.

      If kids and grandkids bring Mitt Romney additional support, his wife Ann locks it in. She is beautiful, well-spoken, and obviously a wonderful mother.

      She is that. Perhaps easy to do with a multi-million budget? Oh, I'm just a curmudgeon.

      I'm going to pick this ACA quote now

      The Affordable Care Act is almost dead on arrival. Romney, with his experience in getting a popular (and constitutional!) health care reform plan implemented at the state level, is the perfect candidate to talk about effective reforms at the nationally.

      Yes, at the nationally: FUCK YOU, YOU INCOHERENT IDIOT.

      The general atmosphere, along with Romney's specific tactics are precisely why women will stay in the Republican column this year.

      I seem to see some porcine forms aviating past my window.

      It seems so easy to get a column published these days. Perhaps "Angry Fukui Rapes The Shit Out Of Idiot Republicans" has a chance.

      • FakaktaSouth

        I do hope everyone involved in the Romney campaign has exactly this mindset, exactly this much insight into "what women want." I like when stupid people speak for me almost as much as goofy assumptions being made that I am the obvious one that takes (hauls? On my back? Because of gas?) my kids to practice – the CO-PARENT in the house does that shit, as do most of the dads I know – to the serious attack on my intelligence, assuming I don't know that the ACA and romneycare are basically one in the very same, mandate and all.

        I can report that I have STILL not seen any Romney love from the heavyweight champions of deep-thinking teabaggers around here – it's all Obama hate and it's laaaaaaaaaame birther, sheriff Joe, he's gonna take your money and give it to people who don't work bullshit. It's also only the racisty-LCDers talking about it – the run of the mill identity Rs are ignoring the whole thing like it's not happening. I'm still saying 70/30 PresO BECAUSE of people with just the kind of intellect displayed above. Keep talking, nationally.

    • Negropolis

      That's the same health care reform plan that everybody supposedly hates now, 'cause the black guy implemented it at the federal level, right? Of course it is. **sigh**

  • AddHomonym

    Hey guys, I think that's Nikki Haley there listening to Ronnie. Another Communiss!!!!

  • DahBoner

    This is silly! Because it's a fact and Conservatives don't care about facts.

    Conservatives: La la la la la la la CAN'T HEAR YOU la la la la la la laaaaaaa!!!!

  • ElPinche

    Three words: No flag pin. Ronald Reagan = Hitler

  • Allmighty_Manos

    It's not fair to use things Reagan said in his second term of the presidency to tarnish his future career as a committed conservative.

Previous articleBarack Obama Finally Gets A Sex Scandal
Next articleVIDEO! Mitt Romney Enlists In The War On Stay-At-Home-Moms (If They Are Poor And On Welfare)