THE WASP ELITE  2:06 pm April 13, 2012

The Obamas Made 800+ Trillion Dollars Last Year (Per Day)

by Jim Newell

touched up via photoshopPresidential tax returns for the Obamas and Bidens have been posted online, oh boy. Let’s see, did they make above the median income… yes they did, so: BOO! Jerks. Let’s steal their nice clothes and give them to kitties.

The Obamas gave 22% of their income to charities, to deprive the federal government of much needed revenue and lowering their effective federal tax rate to 20.5%. Is this a higher rate than Warren Buffett’s bumwasher pays? Feel guilty, Obamas! Channel the guilt into a reform… jerks:

The President’s effective federal income tax rate is 20.5%. The President believes we must reform our tax system which is why he has proposed policies like the Buffett Rule that would ask the wealthiest Americans to pay their fair share while protecting families making under $250,000 from seeing their taxes go up. Under the President’s own tax proposals, including the expiration of the high-income tax cuts and limitations on the value of tax preferences for high-income households, he would pay more in taxes while ensuring we cut taxes for the middle class and those trying to get in it.

The President’s strategy of declaring class warfare on himself is disgusting.

[White House]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 156 comments }

Lionel[redacted]Esq April 13, 2012 at 2:10 pm

But what was his income in Kenyan Ameros?

iburl April 13, 2012 at 2:11 pm

I believe the NWO currency in Kenya will be the Afro.

Fare la Volpe April 13, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Will the sub-currency be the Afro Pick?

Negropolis April 14, 2012 at 12:38 am

Oh god, close the thread. You've won the month. That's some Dave Chappelle level sorcery, right there.

Barb April 13, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Chris Christie is all for the "Buffet rule". If he's going to haul his fat ass to the restaurant it should have a buffet.

Lionel[redacted]Esq April 13, 2012 at 2:22 pm

I thought the Christie "Buffet rule" was that he should eat 30% of the food on the buffet line?

chicken_thief April 13, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Christie always wears pleated pants so he can stuff more bread sticks into his pockets for later.

widestanceromance April 13, 2012 at 2:29 pm

It's much simpler–and easier than getting him out of a vehicle–to just tilt a restaurant into his mouth.

OC_Surf_Serf April 13, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Man…not even 3/5 of what Romney made.

Oblios_Cap April 13, 2012 at 2:48 pm

That's unconstitutional!

Man0nTheStreet April 14, 2012 at 11:30 am

It does seem like a…"Blah" income compared to Rmoney's, doesn't it?

IncenseDebate April 13, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Another illegal taking good paying jerb from murkans.

freakishlywrong April 13, 2012 at 2:11 pm

BUT THE USURPER HAS NO RESPECT FOR MOMS. NOT EVEN HIS WIFE. WHO'S A MOM.

iburl April 13, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Did you hear what Howard Stern said this morning? How dare Obama make those kinds of jokes!

anniegetyerfun April 13, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Please tell me that this is a joke.

iburl April 13, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Yes, I am.

FROTHY April 13, 2012 at 2:24 pm

NOT EVEN HIS MOM! Who's a Mom.

If he REALLY respected her, he would've been born WHITE.

Biff April 13, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Hey, hi! Your Nom de Guerre worked! How's it going?

FROTHY April 13, 2012 at 4:00 pm

Well, I'm back, as Sam Gamgee said to Rosy. (Or as *I* say to Rosy Palm, anyway.)

George Spelvin April 13, 2012 at 4:19 pm

Rested, tanned, speaking with an odd accent?

Biff April 13, 2012 at 6:54 pm

Welcome home, then. Everything is as messed up as before you left, carry on.

BlueStateLibel April 13, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Where are the tax returns for Ann Rmoney's six horses???

Callyson April 13, 2012 at 2:17 pm

Long form or GTFO!

LetUsBray April 13, 2012 at 3:00 pm

I thought the number of her horses was a secret?

Negropolis April 14, 2012 at 12:44 am

Now, now. That's no way to talk about her husband and sons, Libel. But, honestly, the little blond one does look a bit horsey about the face.

BaldarTFlagass April 13, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Fucking millionaires. I hate 'em.

C_R_Eature April 13, 2012 at 2:38 pm

"Fucking Millionaire Housewives – how do they work?"
- Insane Clown Posse

Goonemeritus April 13, 2012 at 2:12 pm

He only made all that money because he was working hard and not loafing around being full time mom.

IncenseDebate April 13, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Full Time Moms – I saw that movie.

freakishlywrong April 13, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Pron?

Fare la Volpe April 13, 2012 at 2:25 pm

That was Full Frontal Moms.

Negropolis April 14, 2012 at 12:45 am

MILW (Mom's I'd Like to Work).

RedneckMuslin April 13, 2012 at 2:12 pm

How many food stamps is that?

Callyson April 13, 2012 at 2:18 pm

AOTK.

CogitoErgoBibo April 13, 2012 at 2:29 pm

I'll also be needing a whore diamond conversion chart.

terriblyfamous April 13, 2012 at 2:31 pm

I think you can find that at the Tiffany's website?

CogitoErgoBibo April 13, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Newt? Is that you?

terriblyfamous April 13, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Oh shit busted.

Gleem McShineys April 13, 2012 at 2:46 pm

The conversion is very subjective. The penis that is to receive the blowjob factors into the formula for changing dollars into the whore-diamond currency.

The exchange rates are all fucked up, because a Pig Newtween is very different from a Barackock.

ChernobylSoup April 13, 2012 at 2:13 pm

The mortgage interest deduction on the White House alone must helped the Obamas quite a bit.

Fare la Volpe April 13, 2012 at 2:24 pm

They got one of those reverse mortgages from The Fonze. Whoever is President #45 is in for a surprise.

noodlesalad April 13, 2012 at 2:13 pm

You'd have to pay me a lot more to put up with what he has to deal with.

FROTHY April 13, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Dood, ain't NObody can pay me enough to put up with what he has to deal with.

BaldarTFlagass April 13, 2012 at 2:13 pm

I'm sure this "tax certificate" is a forgery, but I would like to see the long form nevertheless.

Lionel[redacted]Esq April 13, 2012 at 2:14 pm

I'm just waiting for the Glenn Beck to do up a chalk board explaining how Barack Obama will make sure Obama is the first against the wall when his Socialist Revolution comes!

el_donaldo April 13, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Black man pulling that kind of cheddar? Either a pimp or a pusher. Impeach!!!1!

BaldarTFlagass April 13, 2012 at 2:18 pm

I bet he gets pulled over every time he drives into a "nice" neighborhood.

Fare la Volpe April 13, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Like this?

BaldarTFlagass April 13, 2012 at 2:33 pm

That, or the Rodney King thing…

SorosBot April 13, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Black men are only supposed to make that kind of money if they're rapping or throwing a ball around for white men's entertainment!

Chet Kincaid April 13, 2012 at 7:19 pm

Tyler Perry requests that you kiss his cross-dressing, white-dollars-free black ass.

C_R_Eature April 13, 2012 at 2:15 pm

$850 Grand. That's it? Romney pisses away more than that on horse vet bills every year.

Also, time for more Invertebrates doin' the nasty!

ThundercatHo April 13, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Oooh, a threesome! Kuttlefish gettin' kinky.

C_R_Eature April 13, 2012 at 2:34 pm

Catholic League’s Bill Donohue is writing an OUTRAGED letter as we speak.

CthuNHu April 13, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Not likely, considering Catholic League’s Bill Donohue is the one in the middle.

C_R_Eature April 13, 2012 at 4:01 pm

*Retch*

It does bear a striking likeness, does it not?

FROTHY April 13, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Lay off my fuckin' family already, wouldja?

C_R_Eature April 13, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Invertebrates, not Pervertebrates. Easy mistake.

FROTHY April 13, 2012 at 4:05 pm

With them, very easy.

C_R_Eature April 13, 2012 at 4:07 pm

Hey, welcome back!

James Michael Curley April 13, 2012 at 2:16 pm

I'm working on the Jimmy Buffet Rule. I retire to Baja and any letters from the IRS get returned marked "deceased." Oh,and Tequila.

ManchuCandidate April 13, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Also known as Margaritaville.

James Michael Curley April 13, 2012 at 2:26 pm

No salt!

horsedreamer_1 April 14, 2012 at 3:12 pm

I prefer its rival, Pinacoladaburg.

C_R_Eature April 13, 2012 at 2:35 pm

I am so there, baby. I have limes.

Callyson April 13, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Reuters' headline: Obama likely paid higher tax rate than Romney in 2011

FOX' headline: Commie Blah donates to ACORN, evades taxes

BigSkullF*ckingDog April 13, 2012 at 2:17 pm

I got my $13 tax refund yesterday! Just enough for one nights worth of malt liquor. Whoot!

rambone April 13, 2012 at 2:17 pm

He better enjoy the loot while he can 'cause he'll probably be making much less once the GOP rescinds the Emancipation Proclamation.

anniegetyerfun April 13, 2012 at 2:17 pm

BIG DEAL. RMoney gave way more to charity, even though it was technically a smaller percentage of his overall salary than Balack Obama!

LetUsBray April 13, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Plus, most of it went to the Mormon church's No Civil Rights For Teh Gheys Foundation.

SockBunny April 13, 2012 at 8:24 pm

The fact that most of Rmoney's 'charitable donations' go to a church really sticks in my claws. I spread the word on that, whenever wherever I can without be annoying. To get all cornpone: just because he has a right, doesn't mean it's right.

chicken_thief April 13, 2012 at 2:17 pm

"The Obamas gave 22% of their income to charities,…"

Ya, right. So the National Association of Kenyan Commie Muslins is a "charity" now?!

SayItWithWookies April 13, 2012 at 2:18 pm

And under his tax reform proposals, President Obama's taxes would go up. Why does our socialist president hate black people?

Chet Kincaid April 13, 2012 at 7:23 pm

Damned if he is and damned if he is!!

Baconzgood April 13, 2012 at 2:19 pm

It's a fake long form W-2

muthalovin April 13, 2012 at 2:19 pm

People who make money: I do not particularly care for them. What with their money and all.

ManchuCandidate April 13, 2012 at 2:19 pm

22% to charity!!!?!

Mittens gives that much too. That is if you consider that the code name for his Swiss Bank Account is "Charity."

Fare la Volpe April 13, 2012 at 2:27 pm

And the first name of future Mrs. Gingrich #4.

James Michael Curley April 13, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Newt made big contributions to Sweet Charity, but don't mention it near Callista.

CogitoErgoBibo April 13, 2012 at 2:19 pm

Plus, he gets government-provided housing and healthcare. The Obamas are just a drain on the system. Get off the dole, Barry!

Lascauxcaveman April 13, 2012 at 2:19 pm

Not even 3/50 of Romney made.

Lionel[redacted]Esq April 13, 2012 at 2:20 pm

How much of a deduction did the Obama's take for funding the New Black Panther party?

chascates April 13, 2012 at 2:20 pm

I'll have no comment on this until I hear Newt Gingrich's take.

littlebigdaddy April 13, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Overflowing colostomy bag Newt Gingrich made 3.5 million as the house historian for the Sands Macau.

BaldarTFlagass April 13, 2012 at 2:40 pm

The only thing better than the first half of that post is the second half of that post.

sewollef April 13, 2012 at 2:43 pm

"Overflowing colostomy bag Newt Gingrich"

Why, that is what we call pure poetry around these parts.

littlebigdaddy April 13, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Thanks. I'm hoping that becomes his Homeric epithet round here.

Lionel[redacted]Esq April 13, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Doesn't his take depend on how many checks he can kite before he has to flee the jurisdiction?

SayItWithWookies April 13, 2012 at 2:20 pm

Holy crap — this here is my 5,000th comment on IntenseDebate. I am soooo proud of what I've done with my life!

Lascauxcaveman April 13, 2012 at 2:33 pm

I celebrate your profligacy, proficiency, profundity and persistence.

I zoomed past 5000 without even noticing a couple of weeks ago, so I don't get to celebrate until I hit 5555 or something.

SayItWithWookies April 13, 2012 at 2:39 pm

Why thank you! I hope it makes up for the pusillanimity, pedantry and piss-and-vinegar.

Jim Newell April 13, 2012 at 2:39 pm

MORE, FASTER

C_R_Eature April 13, 2012 at 2:44 pm

That is, of course What She Said.

SayItWithWookies April 13, 2012 at 3:09 pm

If I had a dime for every time I heard that — I'd still be broke.

CogitoErgoBibo April 13, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Congrats! I'm still trying to hit 9-9-9. Or 6-6-6. One of those marks of the beast.

C_R_Eature April 13, 2012 at 2:44 pm

4,012. Now, just how the fuck did this happen?

SayItWithWookies April 13, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Well someone's been outdoing himself with posts of cephalopod sex today…

C_R_Eature April 13, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Hey, I have one job on this ship! It's Stupid, but I'm gonna do it!

Lionel[redacted]Esq April 13, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Scarily, you made me look, and I'm heading toward 6,000. And, remember, that is only since we have had the new comment system. I think this is the fourth or fifth comment system on Wonkette over the years. I remember that I was once called out as one of the top three posters in a year, back when I was unemployed.

If only I had a life. But I'm sure my Mom is proud.

Welcome to the old Wonkette club. Now if we can get all these whipper snapers off our lawn!

anniegetyerfun April 13, 2012 at 2:21 pm

OT, but the racist gun nuts are all gathering at the NRA convention today! Super exciting, and yes, Ted Nugent is going to be there.

BaldarTFlagass April 13, 2012 at 2:24 pm

"Note: The city of St. Louis prohibits the carrying of firearms at the America's Center Convention Complex."

Ha ha.

horsedreamer_1 April 14, 2012 at 3:13 pm

Scalia will see about that.

Generation[redacted] April 13, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Its annual meeting kicks off today with a display of high-powered assault weapons more customarily seen in Afghanistan or Iraq than in downtown St Louis, Missouri.

Silly Brits. Have they even been to the South?

ThundercatHo April 13, 2012 at 2:40 pm

Sounds like they should just hold the (R) convention at the same time.

ThundercatHo April 13, 2012 at 2:40 pm

P.S. How are you feeling, btw?

anniegetyerfun April 13, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Not too badly, thank you for asking! Just alternating between being hungry and repulsed by the smell of food. Fetus is looking good, and has already developed a sizable nose (no, it wasn't a penis, we looked from several different angles). :)

CogitoErgoBibo April 13, 2012 at 2:45 pm

OMG, the picture in the linked story is priceless! "I'm looking for a gun suitable for killing my newborn, his father, or both. Now if I just 'accidentally' point this thing in their general direction and let nature take its course…"

Nostrildamus April 13, 2012 at 3:26 pm

I just figured they were considering trading up.

SorosBot April 13, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Let me guess: Zimmerman is the guest of honor.

C_R_Eature April 13, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Nugent. What can you say about a guy who played bad guitar in the 60's, refused to do drugs when it was Cool, became an over-the-top Gun Nut, played bad guitar in the 70's, saw This is Spinal Tap and thought it was a documentary, played bad guitar in the 80's and 90's, voted for all the Bushes and wrote an op-ed (probably in crayon) saying how intelligent Sarah Palin was?
One day he'll blow his BALLS off with a .50 cal Desert Eagle he's stuck in his waistband and we will all laugh.

Native_of_SL_UT April 13, 2012 at 2:59 pm

I remember ol' Ted fondly from my old partying days. My roommate and I, being the fun, friendly guys we were at the time would often end up with an apartment full of people. We discovered the best way to get people to finally leave was to put on Ted Nugent and the Amboy Dukes Live and turn it up loud.

C_R_Eature April 13, 2012 at 3:02 pm

That's really funny. I used "Wang Dang Sweet Poontang" for the same propose. No matter how fucked up people were, they'd always leave.

anniegetyerfun April 13, 2012 at 3:05 pm

I had literally never heard of him before he started saying horrible things about our Secretary of State. But then, I hadn't heard of Pink Floyd until well after I got out of college, so maybe I was just really out of touch.

C_R_Eature April 13, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Oh, I'm so sorry. That you had to find out about Nugent, that is.

It's a Shameful part of our history…etc.

KotBR April 13, 2012 at 3:13 pm

Isn't 'racist gun nut' and Ted Nugent redundant?

OneYieldRegular April 13, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Tax returns DO work. Don't let Mitt Romney and Republicans insult tax returns (by not releasing them).

Sassomatic April 13, 2012 at 2:22 pm

How dare the President, when so many Real Americans are struggling, put up his tax form on the Internet, showing off how much money he makes for playing basketball and having hip hop bar-b-ques every day. He's just rubbing it in people's faces. IMPEACH!

BaldarTFlagass April 13, 2012 at 2:22 pm

'Bout time you dragged your ass to work, Newell.

Jim Newell April 13, 2012 at 2:28 pm

SSSHHH

BaldarTFlagass April 13, 2012 at 2:36 pm

The previous comment has been deleted by the user

FakaktaSouth April 13, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Dude YOU try tripping the light fantastic with the likes of John Stossel's libertarian bathroom sex mannequin and see if you don't lie low til noon. That is some heavy lifting going on right there.

el_donaldo April 13, 2012 at 2:23 pm

He gave to "charities"? So did like 90% of the people on the no-fly list.

chicken_thief April 13, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Obvs they didn't impute the $200,000,000 a day that the va-cay to India cost us real 'murkan taxpayers. Time to amend and pay up, Barry Soetoro!!!!

Blueb4sunrise April 13, 2012 at 2:24 pm
chascates April 13, 2012 at 2:26 pm

I can comment without waiting for Newt just by glancing at the Drudge hedes:
DID PRESIDENT PAY LESS THAN HIS SECRETARY?
OBAMAS PAY 20.5% TAX RATE ON $789,674 INCOME…
Could Have Paid $103,067 More In Taxes Without Bush Tax Cuts, Credits…
Kids get $48,000 — tax free!
CAMPAIGN WANTS ROMNEY TAXES BACK TO '70s…
BIDENS DONATE LESS THAN 1.5% OF INCOME TO CHARITY…
VEEP PAYS 23.2% RATE — ON $379,035 INCOME…

Nostrildamus April 13, 2012 at 3:29 pm

DID PRESIDENT PAY LESS THAN HIS SECRETARY?

Please note: Obama's secretary runs the world.

Texan_Bulldog April 13, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Crap, I thought that was Newt's Tiffany's bill.

ManchuCandidate April 13, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Nice bit of timing by Obama. As the GOPer whirlitzer was howling about "defending" Moms, Barry just smacked Mittens with the one thing he hasn't done which was release his income tax returns. It happens to be that one point that most GOPers really can't defend… being the party of the 1%ers.

freakishlywrong April 13, 2012 at 2:37 pm

GOPer whirlitzer is the shizzle.

Mumbly_Joe April 13, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Right, Mittens refuses to release his any income tax information whatsoever, but in Republicans' minds, it's Obama who hasn't been adequately vetted, scrutinized, and pixel-bitched to death. If only there were someone's perspective that could help illuminate this seeming discrepancy…

(10g) Before voting for a black politician, scrutinize his/her character much more carefully than you would a white.

Oh, right. I guess that *does* explain it, doesn't it?

freakishlywrong April 13, 2012 at 2:31 pm

Murica wants it's tens of millions of tax money back for all of Mooshell's vacaychuns.

DerrickWildcat April 13, 2012 at 2:34 pm

Damn! Is he a rapper or a basketball player?

Oblios_Cap April 13, 2012 at 2:50 pm

I saw the video of his Easter basketball game. He's a rapper.

horsedreamer_1 April 14, 2012 at 3:16 pm

Master P Libel!!!

slithytoves April 13, 2012 at 2:34 pm

Let’s steal their nice clothes and give them to kitties.

Klothes for Kitties! I'll second that. Especially those cats without fur. They gotta be cold.

JackDempsey1 April 13, 2012 at 2:34 pm

You can tell he's elitist because line 13 is obviously a negative number, which is a known fancy accounting trick.

Generation[redacted] April 13, 2012 at 2:34 pm

He makes over $250,000 a year? What is he, an unlicensed plumber?

BaldarTFlagass April 13, 2012 at 2:34 pm

Did he declare the food stamps and all the other free shit that the minorities in this country gravy-train off of the rest of us honest hard working taxpayers?

Maman April 13, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Gotta work on those Photoshop skillz

mavenmaven April 13, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Charity giving leads to dependency upon big government. See, he's a communist!

WonkCynic April 13, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Yes! Indeed! Tax the rich! Obarma needs more money to buy more drones, so he and his fancy friends can kill more women and children overseas. Kill a few more hundred thousand mommies and babies! Then he can get's himself another affirmative action peace prize. Nothin say's peace like expensive flyin' machines dropping ordinance on womens and chilrens. Mia Farrow loves it when her precious little Rosemary's baby drops them bombs! Kill 'em all! Let John Lennon sort 'em out in hell.

SorosBot April 13, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Hey' we've missed your paranoid racist ramblings! OK not really.

Wile E. Quixote April 13, 2012 at 3:14 pm

Look dude, you're never going to be able to get a high-paying gig on Fox slamming President Obama until you also include the following names, words and phrases in your rants: teleprompter, Saul Alinsky, Chicago Thugs, Solyndra, Reverend Wright, Bill Ayers, long-form birth certificate, Barry Soetoro, Rezco, death-panels.

Chet Kincaid April 13, 2012 at 7:36 pm

Nope. Still not working.

DetectiveGrey April 13, 2012 at 2:47 pm

After ThursDick, we were doing so well with MILFriday, Jim. Why'd you have to harsh our vibe like this?

Come here a minute April 13, 2012 at 10:18 pm

This class warfare is Obama self-abuse — the pope says he'll go blind!

ttommyunger April 14, 2012 at 9:30 am

Prolly blew it mostly on grape sodas and menthols, also, too.

meatpuppet2 April 14, 2012 at 6:19 pm

Seeing as how most of the congressmen in Washington are multimillionaires, this would make the Obama's among the poorest. Clearly we must start the impeachment process and have a bunch of pandering congressional investigations into what sort of funny business the Obama's are up to.

FROTHY April 13, 2012 at 8:22 pm

Tanned sort of "goes with," if you get my drift, and not really rested, but yes, there's definitely a bit of odd accent to be heard 'round these parts.

FROTHY April 13, 2012 at 8:22 pm

Augh.

starfanglednut April 14, 2012 at 12:20 am

Hi, Z!

(smiles)

FROTHY April 14, 2012 at 12:49 am

Hey, doodina!

not that Dewey April 14, 2012 at 1:49 am

[wipes scales from eyes]

FROTHY April 14, 2012 at 10:38 am

That sounds awfully fishy, dood.

not that Dewey April 14, 2012 at 11:25 am

I think Ann Romney could use the old Pristine Avatar Treatment.

FROTHY April 14, 2012 at 12:48 pm

I'm ON IT, dood!

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