the wasp elite

The Obamas Made 800+ Trillion Dollars Last Year (Per Day)

touched up via photoshopPresidential tax returns for the Obamas and Bidens have been posted online, oh boy. Let’s see, did they make above the median income… yes they did, so: BOO! Jerks. Let’s steal their nice clothes and give them to kitties.

The Obamas gave 22% of their income to charities, to deprive the federal government of much needed revenue and lowering their effective federal tax rate to 20.5%. Is this a higher rate than Warren Buffett’s bumwasher pays? Feel guilty, Obamas! Channel the guilt into a reform… jerks:

The President’s effective federal income tax rate is 20.5%. The President believes we must reform our tax system which is why he has proposed policies like the Buffett Rule that would ask the wealthiest Americans to pay their fair share while protecting families making under $250,000 from seeing their taxes go up. Under the President’s own tax proposals, including the expiration of the high-income tax cuts and limitations on the value of tax preferences for high-income households, he would pay more in taxes while ensuring we cut taxes for the middle class and those trying to get in it.

The President’s strategy of declaring class warfare on himself is disgusting.

[White House]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell
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      1. Negropolis

        Oh god, close the thread. You've won the month. That's some Dave Chappelle level sorcery, right there.

  1. Barb

    Chris Christie is all for the "Buffet rule". If he's going to haul his fat ass to the restaurant it should have a buffet.

    1. Lionel[redacted]Esq

      I thought the Christie "Buffet rule" was that he should eat 30% of the food on the buffet line?

      1. chicken_thief

        Christie always wears pleated pants so he can stuff more bread sticks into his pockets for later.

    2. widestanceromance

      It's much simpler–and easier than getting him out of a vehicle–to just tilt a restaurant into his mouth.

          1. FROTHY

            Tanned sort of "goes with," if you get my drift, and not really rested, but yes, there's definitely a bit of odd accent to be heard 'round these parts.

    1. Negropolis

      Now, now. That's no way to talk about her husband and sons, Libel. But, honestly, the little blond one does look a bit horsey about the face.

  2. Goonemeritus

    He only made all that money because he was working hard and not loafing around being full time mom.

      1. Gleem McShineys

        The conversion is very subjective. The penis that is to receive the blowjob factors into the formula for changing dollars into the whore-diamond currency.

        The exchange rates are all fucked up, because a Pig Newtween is very different from a Barackock.

  3. ChernobylSoup

    The mortgage interest deduction on the White House alone must helped the Obamas quite a bit.

    1. Fare la Volpe

      They got one of those reverse mortgages from The Fonze. Whoever is President #45 is in for a surprise.

  4. BaldarTFlagass

    I'm sure this "tax certificate" is a forgery, but I would like to see the long form nevertheless.

  5. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    I'm just waiting for the Glenn Beck to do up a chalk board explaining how Barack Obama will make sure Obama is the first against the wall when his Socialist Revolution comes!

    1. SorosBot

      Black men are only supposed to make that kind of money if they're rapping or throwing a ball around for white men's entertainment!

  6. James Michael Curley

    I'm working on the Jimmy Buffet Rule. I retire to Baja and any letters from the IRS get returned marked "deceased." Oh,and Tequila.

  7. Callyson

    Reuters' headline: Obama likely paid higher tax rate than Romney in 2011

    FOX' headline: Commie Blah donates to ACORN, evades taxes

  8. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    I got my $13 tax refund yesterday! Just enough for one nights worth of malt liquor. Whoot!

  9. rambone

    He better enjoy the loot while he can 'cause he'll probably be making much less once the GOP rescinds the Emancipation Proclamation.

  10. anniegetyerfun

    BIG DEAL. RMoney gave way more to charity, even though it was technically a smaller percentage of his overall salary than Balack Obama!

      1. SockBunny

        The fact that most of Rmoney's 'charitable donations' go to a church really sticks in my claws. I spread the word on that, whenever wherever I can without be annoying. To get all cornpone: just because he has a right, doesn't mean it's right.

  11. chicken_thief

    "The Obamas gave 22% of their income to charities,…"

    Ya, right. So the National Association of Kenyan Commie Muslins is a "charity" now?!

  12. SayItWithWookies

    And under his tax reform proposals, President Obama's taxes would go up. Why does our socialist president hate black people?

    1. James Michael Curley

      Newt made big contributions to Sweet Charity, but don't mention it near Callista.

  13. CogitoErgoBibo

    Plus, he gets government-provided housing and healthcare. The Obamas are just a drain on the system. Get off the dole, Barry!

  14. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    How much of a deduction did the Obama's take for funding the New Black Panther party?

    1. littlebigdaddy

      Overflowing colostomy bag Newt Gingrich made 3.5 million as the house historian for the Sands Macau.

      1. BaldarTFlagass

        The only thing better than the first half of that post is the second half of that post.

        1. sewollef

          "Overflowing colostomy bag Newt Gingrich"

          Why, that is what we call pure poetry around these parts.

    2. Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Doesn't his take depend on how many checks he can kite before he has to flee the jurisdiction?

  15. SayItWithWookies

    Holy crap — this here is my 5,000th comment on IntenseDebate. I am soooo proud of what I've done with my life!

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      I celebrate your profligacy, proficiency, profundity and persistence.

      I zoomed past 5000 without even noticing a couple of weeks ago, so I don't get to celebrate until I hit 5555 or something.

      1. SayItWithWookies

        Why thank you! I hope it makes up for the pusillanimity, pedantry and piss-and-vinegar.

    2. CogitoErgoBibo

      Congrats! I'm still trying to hit 9-9-9. Or 6-6-6. One of those marks of the beast.

    3. Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Scarily, you made me look, and I'm heading toward 6,000. And, remember, that is only since we have had the new comment system. I think this is the fourth or fifth comment system on Wonkette over the years. I remember that I was once called out as one of the top three posters in a year, back when I was unemployed.

      If only I had a life. But I'm sure my Mom is proud.

      Welcome to the old Wonkette club. Now if we can get all these whipper snapers off our lawn!

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      "Note: The city of St. Louis prohibits the carrying of firearms at the America's Center Convention Complex."

      Ha ha.

    2. Generation[redacted]

      Its annual meeting kicks off today with a display of high-powered assault weapons more customarily seen in Afghanistan or Iraq than in downtown St Louis, Missouri.

      Silly Brits. Have they even been to the South?

      1. anniegetyerfun

        Not too badly, thank you for asking! Just alternating between being hungry and repulsed by the smell of food. Fetus is looking good, and has already developed a sizable nose (no, it wasn't a penis, we looked from several different angles). :)

    3. CogitoErgoBibo

      OMG, the picture in the linked story is priceless! "I'm looking for a gun suitable for killing my newborn, his father, or both. Now if I just 'accidentally' point this thing in their general direction and let nature take its course…"

    4. C_R_Eature

      Nugent. What can you say about a guy who played bad guitar in the 60's, refused to do drugs when it was Cool, became an over-the-top Gun Nut, played bad guitar in the 70's, saw This is Spinal Tap and thought it was a documentary, played bad guitar in the 80's and 90's, voted for all the Bushes and wrote an op-ed (probably in crayon) saying how intelligent Sarah Palin was?
      One day he'll blow his BALLS off with a .50 cal Desert Eagle he's stuck in his waistband and we will all laugh.

      1. Native_of_SL_UT

        I remember ol' Ted fondly from my old partying days. My roommate and I, being the fun, friendly guys we were at the time would often end up with an apartment full of people. We discovered the best way to get people to finally leave was to put on Ted Nugent and the Amboy Dukes Live and turn it up loud.

        1. C_R_Eature

          That's really funny. I used "Wang Dang Sweet Poontang" for the same propose. No matter how fucked up people were, they'd always leave.

      2. anniegetyerfun

        I had literally never heard of him before he started saying horrible things about our Secretary of State. But then, I hadn't heard of Pink Floyd until well after I got out of college, so maybe I was just really out of touch.

        1. C_R_Eature

          Oh, I'm so sorry. That you had to find out about Nugent, that is.

          It's a Shameful part of our history…etc.

  16. OneYieldRegular

    Tax returns DO work. Don't let Mitt Romney and Republicans insult tax returns (by not releasing them).

  17. Sassomatic

    How dare the President, when so many Real Americans are struggling, put up his tax form on the Internet, showing off how much money he makes for playing basketball and having hip hop bar-b-ques every day. He's just rubbing it in people's faces. IMPEACH!

    1. FakaktaSouth

      Dude YOU try tripping the light fantastic with the likes of John Stossel's libertarian bathroom sex mannequin and see if you don't lie low til noon. That is some heavy lifting going on right there.

  18. chicken_thief

    Obvs they didn't impute the $200,000,000 a day that the va-cay to India cost us real 'murkan taxpayers. Time to amend and pay up, Barry Soetoro!!!!

  19. chascates

    I can comment without waiting for Newt just by glancing at the Drudge hedes:
    OBAMAS PAY 20.5% TAX RATE ON $789,674 INCOME…
    Could Have Paid $103,067 More In Taxes Without Bush Tax Cuts, Credits…
    Kids get $48,000 — tax free!
    VEEP PAYS 23.2% RATE — ON $379,035 INCOME…

  20. ManchuCandidate

    Nice bit of timing by Obama. As the GOPer whirlitzer was howling about "defending" Moms, Barry just smacked Mittens with the one thing he hasn't done which was release his income tax returns. It happens to be that one point that most GOPers really can't defend… being the party of the 1%ers.

    1. Mumbly_Joe

      Right, Mittens refuses to release his any income tax information whatsoever, but in Republicans' minds, it's Obama who hasn't been adequately vetted, scrutinized, and pixel-bitched to death. If only there were someone's perspective that could help illuminate this seeming discrepancy…

      (10g) Before voting for a black politician, scrutinize his/her character much more carefully than you would a white.

      Oh, right. I guess that *does* explain it, doesn't it?

  21. freakishlywrong

    Murica wants it's tens of millions of tax money back for all of Mooshell's vacaychuns.

  22. slithytoves

    Let’s steal their nice clothes and give them to kitties.

    Klothes for Kitties! I'll second that. Especially those cats without fur. They gotta be cold.

  23. JackDempsey1

    You can tell he's elitist because line 13 is obviously a negative number, which is a known fancy accounting trick.

  24. BaldarTFlagass

    Did he declare the food stamps and all the other free shit that the minorities in this country gravy-train off of the rest of us honest hard working taxpayers?

  25. WonkCynic

    Yes! Indeed! Tax the rich! Obarma needs more money to buy more drones, so he and his fancy friends can kill more women and children overseas. Kill a few more hundred thousand mommies and babies! Then he can get's himself another affirmative action peace prize. Nothin say's peace like expensive flyin' machines dropping ordinance on womens and chilrens. Mia Farrow loves it when her precious little Rosemary's baby drops them bombs! Kill 'em all! Let John Lennon sort 'em out in hell.

    1. Wile E. Quixote

      Look dude, you're never going to be able to get a high-paying gig on Fox slamming President Obama until you also include the following names, words and phrases in your rants: teleprompter, Saul Alinsky, Chicago Thugs, Solyndra, Reverend Wright, Bill Ayers, long-form birth certificate, Barry Soetoro, Rezco, death-panels.

  26. DetectiveGrey

    After ThursDick, we were doing so well with MILFriday, Jim. Why'd you have to harsh our vibe like this?

  27. meatpuppet2

    Seeing as how most of the congressmen in Washington are multimillionaires, this would make the Obama's among the poorest. Clearly we must start the impeachment process and have a bunch of pandering congressional investigations into what sort of funny business the Obama's are up to.

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