Cory Booker may finally have put an end to his reign atop the infamous criminal syndicate of Newark, New Jersey, with a brazen B&E in front of multiple witnesses. The Democrat “mayor” has admitted entering a building without permission of its owners and forcibly carrying out a woman who was inside. He claims the building was “burning,” and that the woman “would die.”
“I’m back here, I’m back here,” [the woman] yelled from a back bedroom, [Newark Fire Director Fateen] Ziyad was told by the mayor. After his security detail held him back, he told Ziyad, the mayor then yelled out to his guards to release him.
“She is going to die, she’s going to die,” he said, and crossed the smoke and flames before grabbing the woman.
Along with the security detail, Booker carried the woman in his arms through the spreading fire and smoke out of the building, Ziyad said.
It has frequently been noted that Booker spends all his time bullshitting on Twitter with idiot citizens gabbing about potholes and downed power lines and garbage pick-up, thus fostering an attitude of government dependency and welfare among his constituents.
Booker was in custody of a local hospital for smoke inhalation. [Star-Ledger]
{ 235 comments }
Ms. Schoenkopf, that is most excellent.
But seriously, how does it effect Sarah Palin?
Jesus Christ, times are tough, but having the Mayor act as every department of city services is not going to be sustainable in the long-run!
Yeah, it's pretty tough to run Jersey's largest city if you're always having to leave the city council meetings to go rescue kittens from trees and chase down cutpurses.
Have you ever looked up into a tree and seen a cat skeleton?
You ever get stung by a dead bee?
No but I know a guy who has. Used to be a great deckhand before he became a rummy. Nice fella, though.
New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie commented "I would have liked to help, but I'm pretty busy conducting restaurant kitchen inspections."
And my scooter's battery charge is low.
Newark is one of those really small towns that just has one guy as the mayor, police chief, fire chief, dog catcher, etc. Cory Booker has a lot of different hats, depending on what he has to do that day.
I'm confused. Politicians aren't supposed to be heroes.
Just Super-Villains, like Cheney!
How quickly they forget.
He's just a Nobama lite taking away our freedoms, especially to die of smoke inhalation. Wake up sheeple!!!!!1111111
Corey Booker, American Badass.
Newt Gingrich, American Fatass
I once took custody of a 7-11 due to "smoke inhalation"
well, booker wasn't shot on sight… i guess we can assume that george zimmerman isn't holed up in newark.
wow.
Just like our dear Mayor Gray would have done, if tons of money were on fire.
Nah, he would have had a payroll crony do it for him.
In Florida, the fire would have been allowed to stand its ground.
They will not stand for any Black-on-Flame crime, goddammit!!!
That combustible material shouldn't have been hanging around where it might burn!
The woman he rescued had recently been suspended from school. FOR DRUGS???????
The fire was concerned that all that moisture in the woman might have extinguished it; he had no choice except to try to burn her.
God, I want to gay marry him.
Hillary/Booker 16!
In 2017, President Andrew Cuomo will make Booker AG, as a political favor to VP Elizabeth Warren. UN Secretary-General Barack Obama will attend the swearing-in, and Associate Justice Michelle Obama will officiate.
And he'll sit between Sec. of the Treasury Paul Krugman and Sec. of Defense Dennis Kucinich at the State of the Union.
But in front of Sec. of State Noam Chomsky, who'd rather be working…
Sec. of Education Bill Ayers will stay behind at the White House as per emergency contingency to serve as acting president.
Aretha Franklin's hat will perform the benediction. R E S P E C T
Bryan Fischer wants to know whether Booker checked to make sure the woman had paid her rescue fee. If not, Manly Jesus will be mad.
Must not have been wearing a hoodie since he is unshot.
In related news, Mayor Michael Bloomberg of New York saved a stack of Treasury bills from accidental shredding by the city hall maintenance department.
Saved them from accidentally being spent on schools and pensions, if I know anything about Bloomberg.
Oh, I get it. Negro man, breaking and entering, etc. etc. Must be a rough neighborhood.
Oh well, as long as it was a incident of black-on-black rescue, no need to get the vapors. These things happen. Doesn't really concern us.
NOCD.
NOCD?
Might be "not our class, dear."
[pops collar in recognition]
DO come by for cocktails, Friday.
Sixish?
I heard your Negro domestic makes a delicious chocolate pie!
"DO come by for cocktails, Friday.
Sixish?"
*air kiss*
I'll have my people call your people.
Look, lady, when somebody online types DIAF, you really shouldn't take it so literally.
this is just another example of nobama's radical black panther leftist race-hustling war on combustion. i hope the good people at the daily caller hold mayor booker's feet to the… eh, you know.
Daily Caller: This alleged "Mayor" was overheard to frantically, repeatedly shout "Where's the [Ed: (mumble -- perhaps "WHITE" )] woman at?!?"
Don't worry, they'll be back to Ann the Martyr in the morning.
Excellent person and story. Thanks.
The above comments also rate as one of the best strings EVAH!!!!!!!!
Wasn't expecting to laugh during this late check-in, with this story.
Why does Nobama's protégé hate the heat-giving gift of fire that we got from Jeebus?
Or Prometheus — whoever — it's all good.
Finally! A non-dick story.
Way to go Mayor Cory.
You've won the evening.
Hang on a minute, I do believe — or some people say — that Mr Cory Booker himself has a dick, or pep-pee as some other people say.
Cannot confirm that since I refuse to pay the $13 to get over the Verrazano Bridge to find out.
My hero!
Cheney: Curses! Foiled again!
Can New Jersey elect this guy governor, and replace the current idiot and asshole who is filling that position at the moment?
Joisey would have to elect several Bookers at once to fill Gov. FatBastard's chair!
Incidentally, Gov. FatBastard was ripped a new one by Secretary of the Treasury, Paul Krugman this morning in the NY Times.
Refreshing… and a sunny Friday in April…. what more can one ask for?
Can't wait to get to it as it hasn't come up yet on my email.
I hope he mentions that Christie gave NJ corporations $1.57 billion in tax abatements to 'stay in NJ' and 'create new jobs.' The commitment is for 2,960 (approx) new jobs or $387,500 in tax payer money per job. Since the process stretches out over 15 years that's 198 jobs a year.
Now I read the article in the NYTimes. I like Krugman but that issue was so last Tuesday. The absurd amount of tax abadements to ten companies that had started their projects (like the new Prudential Building in Newark replacing an older one and the new warehouse for Goya Foods in Jersey City expanding an older smaller one) were on track before Christie became Governor.
As additional to Krugman's op-ed on the ARC tunnel NJ just found out that it can not cancel $408 million in new locomotives from Bombadier which were designed to be used with the ARC tunnel by being co diesel/electric. Had the ARC tunnel not been a factor in the design of the locomotives, the cost would have been almost $250 million less.
Of course, while Krugman can throw up blog posts any time, his op-eds are only published Mondays and Fridays.
He'd have a chance if he weren't the mayor of Newark. :(
We're working on it.
And by "filling the position" you mean "overflowing" right?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. This is absolutely ridiculous in the very best way on this particular event.
BTW, glad the guy has finally told Christie to fuck off after that snake crossed him. I understand these well-meaning Democratic mayors with red governors wanting to stay within their good graces, but they've never cared about urban areas before, and they aren't for the forseeable future.
what did he do to the big one?
Mayor Booker owes Ann Romney an apology.
Seriously though that is amazing — from my understanding of the story it looks like he went in twice, and the second time was pretty sure he was gonna have to jump out the window. That's some serious public service. Fuckin' a, mayor!
Doublegood A+
Look for right wing to claim he didn't really need to go in, and should have left it to professionals (who could easily carry out the carcass when they finally showed up). And that it emboldened the North Koreans.
A heart-warming story (no pun) indeed and a much needed lift from todays' wangfest.
Yet editrix, you just had to keep with your one-track mind today by tossing in a photo of Andy Dick with the coolest mayor in the country.
I feel a new Bruce Springsteen song on the horizon. When he's finished I'll let you know and we can meet to sing it 'neath the giant Exxon sign that gives this fair city light.
"Where're the eyes, the eyes with the will to see
Where are the hearts that run over with mercy"
"We Take Care of Our Own." © Last month – The Boss
I always found it odd that the prison was right next to the airport.
If only Chris Christie had been there. He could have simply shouted the fire down.
He could have put out the whole fire just by rolling back and forth across the floor once or twice.
Yeah but if he'd have ignited, that fat fuck would have taken Red Adair to put him out.
Or he could have just pooped on it.
Flatulence is methane with various aromatics. Once Christie sized bean burrito would have taken out the entire city.
If he'd gone into the fire, he'd be…(wait for it)…Chris Crispy!
I was thinking they could have used him as one of those inflatable rescue bags for when the residents jumped from the windows.
Let's hope so – if Christie ever caught fire it would be like one of those tire dumps you can never put out. I think the bacon grease alone would keep going for years.
He'd smolder longer than Centralia, and probably with more toxic gas emissions.
http://www.damninteresting.com/the-smoldering-rui…
Gov'nr McSandwiches would have totally done the same thing until he realized his helicopter wouldn't fit through the door.
You know, Barack and Corey are making it real hard on us ~40 y.o. black dudes out here. Now every black chick is gonna be all 'yeah, you the mayor who lived in the projects and shit, but have you rescued any old ladies from an inferno? OK, but did you kill bin Laden? Lame nigga be quiet, then!
(hood citation http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFeGpBdv3pk )
Your move, mayor Kasim Reed of Atlanta.
I'm waiting for Governor Deval Patrick to jump into Boston Harbor to save a floundering cruiseship by pulling it with his teeth.
this story is basically the polar opposite of the trayvon martin tragedy/outrage. trayvon's lynching confirmed my distrust of gun nut racists while mayor booker has confirmed my belief in greater potential of the human race.
New Jersey is the Garden State.
"Land of 1000 Mafiosi" didn't look as good on the license plates.
And "Fuggedaboutit" was already taken.
By an actual store in Tuckerton, NJ:
http://www.local.com/business/details/tuckerton-n…
Ah, Tuckertoon! Baymen Central. They've done fine things with the Tuckerton Seaport there, BTW.
Also, the Borough of Brooklyn.
"Booker was in custody of a local hospital"
Ladies and gentlemen… We got him!
Damn "Goons"! Those uppity "Blahs" are always usin' White Man's hospitals…
I hope they at least gave him a motherfucking ice tea after it was all over.
Fortunately they couldn't find any Skittles.
Or some asshole's bicycle.
Look at that picture of him up at the top. And you thought Preznit Barry had a big dick!
Goddamn it, I thought Penis Day was over.
What day is Penis Day on Wonkette?
All of them, Katie.
It's been a schlong week…
Everybody Wang Chung tonight.
I'm just sad the MGs weren't there to witness his act of heroism.
Not to be outdone, L.A. mayor Antonio Villaraigosa was last seen wagging his finger at the San Andreas Fault
…just before he fell off his bike and into the Fault.
Mayor-to-Be "Magic" Johnson could not be reached for comment.
WOW. Didn't he also chase down & catch an actual bank robber a couple years back? This guy is actually a fucking superhero.
BTW, forgive me for originally believing that Mayor Booker actually did what the title described. He's got the perpetual crazy eyes, and politicians are doing strange shit all of the time, and this is New Jersey that we're talking about, after all…anyway, I'm glad I recalibrated my snarkometer to get the joke.
Those crazy eyes ,as you call them, are a beautiful colour and I would like to see them roving over my naked body.
With all due respect to my fellow 'merikans, isn't Newark, NJ the murder/shithole capital of the USA?
The murder/shithole capital of the USA would be the area inscribed by a 1-mile-radius circle centered on wherever Dick Cheney is at any moment.
Used to be. It's been upgraded in recent years to armpit status.
No, it's the Jesus-trinket capital of the USA. Here's a quiz!!
Ferry street is mostly what language?
A.Ebonics.
B. I'm a bigot across the board.
C. Portuguese.
Answer: The end, go jump in a lake.
Just the other night, a Facebook friend of mine who is not altogether willingly moving to Atlantic volunteered that Atlanta looks really nice from the mountains. I suggested that Newark looks really nice from the Moon.
I love Atlanta! I mean, I'd take Atlanta's people over Seattle's any day.
Aw, now Newark ain't all that bad. There's been progress since '96 when Time Magazine said it was "The Most Dangerous City in America – they were ranked 23rd in 2010. There's more economic investment now, the Ironbound district is becoming popular and Cory Booker's the mayor.
Plus, I was born near there. Yougoddaproblemwiddat?
Yes, but has he been to the dunkin' donuts on Ferry, lately?
Cuz, honestly, the bus just ignores my stop, and that's a problem (c. 2004, so things might have improved).
As soon as he's discharged, he plans to chase down the bus on foot and stop it himself (by grabbing the bumper and digging in his heels, natch).
Lest we forget, this was the mayor shoveling out cars and snow-bound residents while Chris Christie was beached down in Florida.
Hardest working mayor in show business…
Somewhere, Vlad Putin is smashing crockery and wondering why he didn't think of this yet.
As he broke away from his security team and headed into the inferno, he was heard saying "Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker".
Oh and BTW, he played football for Stanford
You have now given me a reason to dislike the man forever, no matter how wonderful he is otherwise.
I hope his beautiful face wasn't burned, because he is a delicious man.
Amen. Yummy….
He look as if he knows his way around a vagina, no?
Yes, indeedy. He's welcome to do anything he'd like to this Texan.
Yes…Sigh…is it hot in here?
There is something there that appeals to me, I realized at first that he reminds me of point guard Mike Bibby of the NY Knicks..
Also good bud's w/ Rachel Maddow from when they both were at Stanford, according to the wiki.
I have seen him, as a guest, with Rachel and he is really a lovely, gentle, smart, thoughtful person, I would love to see him become Governor and then Prez. He is an original.
He did Oxford on a Rhodes Scholarship and graduated from my regional high school (twenty years after I did). I haven't met him yet although I knew a few people in Sharpe James administration; but since the writing was on the wall a few years before James was perp walked out of office, I did not keep up those contacts.
This is good news for John McClane.
As usual, you're better off avoiding the comments on the news article. Big topic: Booker was obviously faking his smoke inhalation, since he was able to tweet about it on the way to the hospital.
Amazingly, no one seems to have accused him of setting the fire – at least not yet.
Strike that last statement. "Sophocles" now thinks the whole thing was staged, since no one, "other than a fireman, would run into a burning house to save someone they really don't know." Certainly not. It's un-American to help people without being paid.
And there's no way a black man could possibly "really know" anyone, even his next door neighbor.
Whaddya 'spect from tha "Goons" & "Blahs"?!?
"And there's no way a black man could possibly "really know" anyone"
???
I thought Those People all knew each other.
Well of course they know each other well enough to conspire how to kidnap all the white women (and murder the men), but that's not "really knowing", ya know?
Perhaps "I'm from the government and I'm here to help" isn't always as terrifying as the wingers want us to believe.
Rescued from a burning building by a neighbor? Sounds like socialism.
The Repubicans will use this story against Booker. And Politifact will help them by rating it "pants on fire".
well, singed at least. He had 2nd degree burns on his hands.
Funny thing happened on the way to the office dear. Cory Booker should carry around a wallet that say "Bad Ass Mutherfucker" on it. They should make a blacksploitation film about that bad muther.
If you can find "Street Fight" about the Booker campaign he lost to Sharpe James in 2002 you will definitively see somewhat of a clean shaven Shaft on the streets of Newark.
I saw only a couple episodes of Brick City because other than Brick City the Sundance Channel is terminally boring. Brick City is made from following around Booker on his day to day exploits running Newark. I'm not sure it is still being made, but it's the Sundance Channel, nothng ever goes off the air there.
Oh shut up, Chris Cristie would have done the same thing …it would have taken him two hours to reach the woman, who would've been dead, but he would've done it…in other news Dubya calls Cristie "enormous personality."
One touch of that fire would have turned Chris Cristie into a Sta-Puft Marshmallow Man-like Towering Inferno and Dubya is still an "enormous jackass."
And he would have worked up quite an appetite by the time he got there and would have eaten her.
Do you know who else liked to break into buildings and carry out women?
Cú Chulainn?
That damned, dirty ape King Kong?
Jame Gumb?
The Jacobins?
Attila T. Hun?
The lecherous mulatto Lieutenant Governor Silas Lynch, in that classic American docudrama, "The Birth Of A Nation"?
"Lecherous Mulattos" would make a great name for a band
Ann Coulter?
Superman?
BIG JIM SLADE!
Mr. Incredible?
That's a stretch.
Good thing George Zimmerman wasn't in the building to protect that poor woman. Too soon?
Nope. This Booker is one scary bastard.
Just a clarification; in the context of this story:
It IS too soon for a George Zimmerman joke, but
It IS NOT too soon for a Whitney Houston joke.
A mayor needing bodyguards?
Top that, Mayor Rahm.
There was a time when I would have believed that Rahm would have punched the fire in the fucking nutsack, but after watching him be an utterly useless Chief of Staff, I actually don't believe he'd so much of anything. Maybe light a cigarette off the flames?
From what I see in the newspaper every day, he'd cut the fire's pay, extend its working hours and raise its fees, until it gave in.
I don't think cussing can put out fire, but Emanuel might just prove me wrong by exhausting the oxygen in the environment.
"I just grabbed her and whipped her out of the bed," Booker said. The two made their way downstairs, where they both collapsed, Booker said.
'scuse me, while I whip this out…
That's a WIN
Why, that upp…er, arrogant mayor! Throw the book at him! Actually, if you could just hand him this book contract, it needs his signature on several pages, as marked. Thanks. Anyone else need coffee?
"[Newark Fire Director Fateen] Ziyad"
That's a jihad-y sounding name. And this is the guy that directs fires in Newark? I'd say that's just plain asking for trouble.
I watched the doc "Street Fight" about Mayor Booker's campaign – anyone could have seen this coming a mile away just by the way he treated his parents.
(Oh my god he truly is amazingly wonderful, and part of it is the way he thinks what he does is normal and what anyone SHOULD or would want to do. He's just so freakishly smart and physically fit, I love him.)
And that is one hell of a good movie!
I just recommended Street Fight in this thread. I don't know where it is available. I have been talking to pols about Booker as Dem Gov Candidate in 2013 and expected to be able to make a few contacts at the end of next month when I have to attend a state wide function.
Was he assisted by Sargeant Takeraway?
Yes, because Leftenant Behind was, well, left behind.
"She was a little shaken, and suffered minor smoke inhalation, but she should be fine in a couple of days", said Dr. Patcherupandsenderhome.
Officer Markedfordeath, who has the sweetest newborn baby girl, a loving wife, and just two weeks to retirement, was busy investigating an armed robbery at a liquor store, but expected to be back in time for the weekly poker game at the station house.
Sargeant Publicmasturbator was busy staking out the college dorm parking lot.
Addendum: I didn't realize this was available on the internet, but I shouldhave had more faith in our data-saturated tubes:
Sgt. Takeraway and Sgt. Booker
After yesterday's Cavalcade of Cock, I'm really hoping today is going to be Boobie Friday here, for the equal opportunity. Although it certainly was a target-rich environment for dick jokes which, along with buttsechs, are one of the fundamental raison d'etres of Wonkette, unless I am gravely mistaken.
Even for us laydeez, it really rained dicks yesterday.
Today will be all about Cephalopods Mating.
All Cephalopods. All day long.
I find it difficult to fap to fucking calamari.
Sorry, that's just the way it is, today.
Strangely enough, you kind of excite them. Don't be surprised if squids start following you around.
Chuthulu libel!!
"I find it difficult to fap to fucking calamari."
That is as it should be.
The sound effect that goes with calamari is not ::fapfapfap::, it is ::omnomnom::.
Delicious, delicious cuttlefish.
Eat them up, Yum.
I like to sneak up on a mating pair and devour them both.
It's like tasting a rainbow!
Yo, Cory, Imma let you finish, but…how does this affect Sarah Palin?
They're using the same headline over at The Daily Caller except to them it's not a gag.
I don't even think Tom Menino can pronounce the word 'Fire'.
When I was Mayor of Boston we had very effective fire insurance.
When you were Mayor, you were starting the fires and then charging to put them out.
Sure he can. It's a fiw.
More liberal lies. Booker probably ordered the fire set so he could play hero for the liberal media and gain public support when he challenges Gov. Christie in the next election.
"Booker probably ordered the fire set"
Yeah, it was a big ol conspiracy. He's in cahoots with that fire chief guy with the terraist-sounding name.
You've been reading the comments on the news story, haven't you?
Where was the Neighborhood Watch when this thug was flaking & perpetrating?
Oh yeah, I forgot they don't have them in NJ on account of the state's pussy gun control laws and the legal liability citizen volunteers would incur due to the lack of a Stand Your Ground statute.
The tragedy is that this story has become the top recommended story on nj.com, bumping to second place "N.J. man dies from penis enhancing injection, authorities say; woman charged with manslaughter"
Activating his teenage dance skills, Chicago Mayor Rahm Emmanuel jeté-d onstage during a Joffrey Ballet performance last night to save a ballerina who was about to land awkwardly from a pas de deux.
Bat-Mayor
Today I am less embarrassed than usual to be from Newark.
Roger that.
I'm sure Ann Romney has been rescuing people from burning buildings for decades.
Or, at the very least, she and Mitt own several burning buildings.
It's Friday, the 13th and that is one black cat that can cross my path all day long. Cory, you are a true hero!
Wow, turns out I can read The Wonks when I'm doing 8 hrs of ethics training.
The more you know.
"Mr. Mayor, The Machine has given us another number."
http://images.buddytv.com/artist-photos/21-1734/W…
I love that show!
Me too, although it's gotten to the point where "everybody knows" but nobody can say anything to anybody else.
A friend quoted him as saying "I though that was the point."
that photo! do you think he is trying to tell us something? (scratches head, shifts in chair)
Meanwhile, on the other side of the country, also-thug mayor Kevin "KJ" Johnson is holding the Sacramento Kings hostage.
Fox News reports he dashed into the building screaming, "Where de white women at?"
I guess we now know who'll be occupying the coveted Sully Sullenberger chair at Obama's second inauguration.
In other Garden State news, Governor Christie ate 9 pizzas and took a 40lb. dump!!!
I keep getting the mental image of Governor Sammiches as Charles During in his role as Gov. in O Brother Where Art Thou. Yelling at his advisers, " Why didn't you think of this! Get a baby to rescue!"
This is such a great spoof. It's also exactly what Commander Vimes was accused of by a political rival after rescuing a woman from a burning building in "Jingo" by Terry Pratchett, proving that great minds think alike.
"I mean, look, Chet, I’m not a bigot. You know the kind of posts I’ve written on these Wonkettes. But when I get on the plane, I got to tell you, if I see people who are in Blah, Democratic mayors' garb and I think, you know, they are identifying themselves first and foremost as Blah, Democratic mayors, I get worried. I get nervous.”
Yeah, I'm going to run that into the ground. I'm going to land it like John McCain lands a jet fighter, let me tell you.
Can. Not. Snark. About. This.
Negro? Oh, please. She prefers the term 'octaroon.' (And though honestly you may feel free to divide that by two, one can hardly tell the difference, in this case.)
Mostly we just call her 'Maud, dear.'
"LANA!!!!"
/danger zone
Octaroons are on sale at Treasure Island this week. I think they're either those tiny navel oranges or those weird cookies with the coconut bits.
Black astronaut? That's like killing a unicorn.
I think I hear some Kenny Loggins.
And to activate the ACORN-trained ghey-secular-Marxist pre-school Re-education-camp teacher shock-troop battalions.
Sure, but then Speaker of the House James O'Keefe would turn off the C-SPAN cameras and Senate Majority Leader Rich Lowry would block all further cabinet appointments.
Quite possible, he's on the "Three Kennys" tour with Kenny Rogers and Kenny G.
"O Cuttlefish," said the Carpenter,
"You've had a pleasant run!
Shall we be trotting home again?'
But answer came there none–
And this was scarcely odd, because
They'd eaten every one.
I thought that was Skittles. OMG!! PhwewPhwew!
Drinking don't bother my memory. If it did I wouldn't drink. I couldn't. You see, I'd forget how good it was, then where'd I be? Start drinkin' water again.
How quickly we forget the achievements of the Old Negro Space Program
Water! Never touch the stuff. Cephalopods fuck in it.
Pour me another shot, willya?
Oh Doktor! What a sweet, sweet parody. thanks.
It will ruin Wonkette, too.
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