AN ELECTION FOR THE AGES  3:15 pm April 12, 2012

Dispatches From Another Day Of Ceaseless, Unrelenting Lies

by Jim Newell

GAHH! A full 100% (as opposed to the usual 99.9%) of the political conversation right now is transparently disingenuous bullshit, and everyone knows it but continues playing out the fiction anyway, on Twitter and stuff. Not one person involved in Big Controversy about whatever DC lobbyist/PR lady/seller of access Hilary Rosen said about Ann Romney last night on CNN actually cares. Ann Romney, Mitt Romney, the Obama campaign, media scribes, politicians, Twatters, whoever — none of them were viscerally offended by what Hilary Rosen said on teevee last night. Kind of like it was last week, when the fake story was Caterpillars. We’ve already descended to WAR ON WOMEN: CATERPILLARS vs. CNN DEMRAT PR LESBO-FEMINAZI as the hot narrative, several months before the typical bottoming-out month of August. Be scared.

The simplest way to capture the zeitgeist on any particularly thick day of soulless make-believe twee bullshit is to visit the blog of Jennifer Rubin, conservative commentator for the Washington Post and breathtakingly unsubtle hack for the Mitt Romney presidential campaign. Her interview with Ann Romney today is a masterwork of synthetically engineered sympathy.

Despite the public tweets from President Obama’s advisers and Rosen, no one has called her to apologize — not the campaign, not the White House and not Rosen. She resists playing the victim. “I am okay,” she said. “I have a thick skin.” She even jokes that raising five boys was “a lot tougher” than anything Rosen is going to dish out.

Ann Romney joined Twitter last night for the sole purpose of playing the victim as fast as possible. She then spoke to Jennifer Rubin on her way to the airport, to play the victim. The Mitt Romney campaign strategy today and indefinitely going forward is for Ann Romney to play the victim, as much as possible, in all media platforms. She is allowed to play the victim for political gain, of course. But “she resists playing the victim” is an amazing thing for Rubin to write for her writing job that pays her actual money to write about politics. Yeesh, Jesus. Ugh. Someone buy Jen Rubin a steak tonight; she’s earned it.


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Barb April 12, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Barbara Bush is now on Fox News to address Rosen-gate.

Yes, as a mother she is an expert on women and the economy and she's a pro at canning and jarring stuff.

Jus_Wonderin April 12, 2012 at 3:23 pm

I can't look at her. It is too jarring.

weejee April 12, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Ouch. I know with my past puns that takes a lot of gall, but ouch (and pleasantly preserved, too, also)

noodlesalad April 12, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Barbara Bush thought being displaced by Hurricane Katrina and living in the Astrodome as a climate refugee would be pretty fun, so if she's upset you KNOW this thing is tly SRZS u guys!!!1!!

kissawookiee April 13, 2012 at 11:24 am

Ann Romney never jarred a fetus a day in her life.

Fukui-sanYesOta April 12, 2012 at 3:20 pm

Erick son of Erick's twatter moniker is really "EW! Erickson"?

That seems remarkably self-aware of him.

sullivanst April 12, 2012 at 3:25 pm

It's OK, he's not aware he was being self-aware.

Barb April 12, 2012 at 3:20 pm

Fox News frowns upon black and Hispanic women who stay home to raise their children. They imply that they gather in groups and call each other "friends with government benefits"

WhatTheHeck April 12, 2012 at 3:35 pm

On the other hand, Fox ’n Friends could all benefit from a brain.

finallyhappy April 12, 2012 at 3:22 pm

See, my twitter tells me things like it is Nick Brendon(Xander from Buffy) and his twin brother's birthday today. Also I get tweets from Joe Yonan(a Post food writer- truly the only worthwhile Post information)

noodlesalad April 12, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Ann Romney could write a book about parenting! For example, if the baby won't sleep, put them in one of the cadillacs, and set the car elevator to "rotate." Works like a charm.

SorosBot April 12, 2012 at 3:23 pm

By claiming her raising five kids while not working and having millions and millions of dollars was hard work, Ann Romney is saying a big old "fuck you" to all the working moms out there. Where's your apology, Ann?

Oh and do not apologize Hillary; you said nothing wrong at all. Someone who has never worked a day in her life and married a billionaire knows nothing about what ordinary people face. Also fuck you Ann Romney.

Sassomatic April 12, 2012 at 3:49 pm

I know, right? She must have had to hire -two- maids just to keep up with the house work!

finallyhappy April 12, 2012 at 5:47 pm

2 ?? I know someone who had a nanny and a housekeeper for 2 kids. The Romneys probably had any number of maids, cooks, laundry help and several Mormon nannies- seems nanny work is what Mormon girls do while their fiances are doing their missionary work(really)

McDonnellville April 12, 2012 at 6:16 pm


MrFizzy April 12, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Bristol Palin: #Fucked entire HS band and most of the field hockey team. BRB gotta wash. Some truth out there. Just have to read wonkette.

ChernobylSoup April 12, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Cat fights are only fun when both women are doable.

ManchuCandidate April 12, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Don't worry wingtards. All it will take is another Romney gaff to ruin your day.

Prepare for foot in mouth insertion to happen within a week.

Mumbletypeg April 12, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Lies, damn lies, and ballistics.

Blueb4sunrise April 12, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Ann Romney was in a hurry to fly back and jack-off one of the stallions.

MrFizzy April 12, 2012 at 3:50 pm

In a quiet room of course.

Jus_Wonderin April 12, 2012 at 4:20 pm

I bet their house has a Stallion Jack Off Room. Just like we might have a walk-in closet.

MrFizzy April 12, 2012 at 4:33 pm

Maybe the magic underwear is to protect delicate Mormon skin from stallion jizz.

Negropolis April 12, 2012 at 11:49 pm

It's not an either/or; you better believe she also has a walk-in closet or three.

CivilMcMannerly April 12, 2012 at 3:28 pm

I've seen that Treacher fellow trolling comment sections around the world wide web. Why doesn't he come here? His jokes are very funny. Even his twitter name implies that there would be an abundance of vocal laughter.

BaldarTFlagass April 12, 2012 at 3:28 pm

We have a new winner in the "sound and fury, signifying nothing" category.

GunToting[Redacted] April 12, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Oh, come on… the campaign has barely begun. Don't award such an important category so early.

Radio福井県 April 12, 2012 at 3:28 pm

The Schoenkopf weather report this morning was remarkably accurate: 100% chance of shit storms.

Oh yes, _____fuck Hilary Rosen.

Chet Kincaid April 12, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Jesus, just ignore all of it.

Callyson April 12, 2012 at 4:14 pm

From your lips to the MSM's ears…

CogitoErgoBibo April 12, 2012 at 3:29 pm

How dare the White House not call to personally apologize about a random statement made by someone who might have said the name "Obama" once or twice in the course of her lifetime? The unmitigated gall!

Native_of_SL_UT April 12, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Obama would be on the phone non-stop apologizing for all the mean shit we say here.

Doktor StrangeZoom April 12, 2012 at 3:29 pm

OK, that does it. No way am I voting for Hillary Rosen.

hagajim April 12, 2012 at 3:30 pm

How many victims are there in the GOP war on the truth?

sullivanst April 12, 2012 at 3:35 pm

All of them, Katie.

HarryButtle April 12, 2012 at 4:35 pm

All of US, Katie.

Generation[redacted] April 12, 2012 at 3:31 pm

@TheDemocrats' #WarOnWomen.

Mandatory trans-vaginal ultrasounds for all stay at home moms!

johnnyzhivago April 12, 2012 at 3:31 pm

I think I've got it:

The GOP strategy is to just constantly annoy and inflame ALL women between now and election day, causing a cosmic synchronization of every American female's PMS clock to overload on November 6th – and just plain vote against everyone in a hissy fitted frenzy. Then the few remaining men (left alive) who actually stagger to the poles and vote will elect Mitt Romney because they want to have NASCAR and Football Owner friends too.

Lucidamente1 April 12, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Village like shiny object… Village like to say "both sides do it."… Village happy…

Extemporanus April 12, 2012 at 3:32 pm


Baconzgood April 12, 2012 at 3:33 pm


Chet Kincaid April 12, 2012 at 3:34 pm

You can haul Ann up on the cross if you like, but people will still despise Mitt Romney.

sullivanst April 12, 2012 at 3:34 pm

No-one's apologized to Ann Romney?

Well, that's just horrible. Here, let me apologize to Ann:

Ann, I'm sorry you're such an entitled princess with so little clue of the real world that you can't understand people pointing out how little of a clue of the real world you have. And I mean that sincerely.

Jus_Wonderin April 12, 2012 at 3:41 pm

In this new age of apology, I think you might have gone overboard. Isn't it: "I'm sorry people wrongly interpreted what I said, and were offended by that misinterpretation".

sullivanst April 12, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Geez, you didn't have to crucify me. What is this, a new "kill sullivanst" policy?

Generation[redacted] April 12, 2012 at 3:51 pm

aha! Now we see the real war on wonkette commenters. The voters will remember this in Blowvember!

Native_of_SL_UT April 12, 2012 at 4:17 pm

I would say bravo to this reply but you would just twist it into another attack.

MrFizzy April 12, 2012 at 3:51 pm

By the way, I'm offended by your misinterpretation, so you owe me an apology too.

Jus_Wonderin April 12, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Okay, for everybody I offended I will take a clue from the way Ellen apologizes.

She accents the mid section by raising it an octave.

"Im sOORReee!" Sounds so genuine that way.

Schmannnity April 12, 2012 at 3:35 pm

Working hard on the gritty, tough streets of Belmont.

SayItWithWookies April 12, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Okay, Republican women — one of you has to stay on the ground, just to nail the rest of you to your crosses, okay? You don't want to make a mockery of this whole victimization thing.

SpiderCrab April 12, 2012 at 3:38 pm

More caving by the Obama administration. Puke!

LastGasp April 12, 2012 at 3:38 pm

A full 100% (as opposed to the usual 99.9%) of the political conversation right now is transparently disingenuous bullshit
Yep, the campaign to unseat our Marxist-Socialist-Anarchist-Foreigner President is underway. We're going to need a steady supply of Valium from now until the election.

metamarcisf April 12, 2012 at 3:39 pm

I won't be satisfied until Rosen apologizes to Rush while cooking up a pig-in-a-blanket

Generation[redacted] April 12, 2012 at 3:52 pm

And quits her job.

sullivanst April 12, 2012 at 4:24 pm

And puts the video online.

Sassomatic April 12, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Twat Fight!!!

JustPixelz April 12, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Ann Romney was being uppity when she spoke for all women on the economy. Too bad she got called out on whether she knows what it's really like to settle for Sam's Club mac & cheese in a box.

Sassomatic April 12, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Yeah, it must be so hard to raise five boys, when you never have to work a second of your life to earn the money to feed and clothe them, and when you can always give them everything they need and want, and you don't have to bother driving them anywhere or cooking for them or cleaning up after them, since you have people that do that. That must be so fucking difficult.

finallyhappy April 12, 2012 at 5:50 pm

well, sometimes you have to reprimand the ironing maid when there isn't a perfect crease in the chinos or when you find the first floor maid has not vacuumed the carpet in exact horizontal lines- and don't get me started on when underwear is not properly folded- I've had maids deported for less than that

OneYieldRegular April 12, 2012 at 3:52 pm

I have a feeling this is not going to be resolved until a baby gets cut into two equal halves.

Limeylizzie April 12, 2012 at 3:55 pm

I think what Hilary said was unsubtle and rather clueless, but certainly not worth all the clutching of pearls from the right.

trampndirtdown April 12, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Sad news this morning LL Raymond Aubrac died.

BerkeleyBear April 12, 2012 at 4:06 pm

The degree of cohesive explosive victimhood speaks to just how hard up they are for anything positive to say about their candidate, or to coherently attack the President.

Seriously, he didn't personally apologize to you for something no one in his campaign said? If we held Ann to that standard, she'd never have time for riding her dressage horses, much less driving her cars simultaneously.

glamourdammerung April 12, 2012 at 6:21 pm

Romney could not even say Limbaugh was out of line.

randcoolcatdaddy April 12, 2012 at 4:03 pm

Can't we have some nice little story about a Republican member of Congress caught with his pants down in a public restroom with his rentboy waiting outside, guarding his luggage?

Is it too much to ask that DC get back to the real business of politics?

This pissing contest between all these campaign peoples is as boring as Grover Nosetwist reading the IRS code on C-SPAN at 3:00 am.

BarackMyWorld April 12, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Who the fuck is Hilary Rosen?

Antispandex April 12, 2012 at 4:11 pm

I don't see anything different here. This is typical Teapublicanism strategy. You make your move (like blaming everything on women / whores), it blows up in your face (poll numbers aren't looking to sweet), then you cast about for a liberal to blame (because it works, and the news media will help so they can seem "fair"). 21st century politics is more predictable than the next republican sex scandal (that will be ignored). And let's face it, those are the only things that make them even half interesting.

HarryButtle April 12, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Oh, I see…so Ann Romney DOES know what it's like to have to make a choice between food and medicine for her sick children because she can't afford both?

Callyson April 12, 2012 at 4:13 pm

This crap did not work in 1992 when it was HRC's comment about baking cookies, and it will not work now.

But go ahead, Reeps, keep trying to deflect attention…keep ignoring your impending doom…

Native_of_SL_UT April 12, 2012 at 4:14 pm

If I knew how to twitter, I would start twittering complaints about Romney's political Strategist, Ted Nugent.

mavenmaven April 12, 2012 at 4:15 pm

Ann Romney believes that you should simply 'unzip' and then 'play the victim' and then everyone will see how it comes to life.

valthemus April 12, 2012 at 4:25 pm

I'd rather hold my nose and dog-paddle through the muck than let guys like Tony Perkins and Erick Erickson and Ed Gillespie and Grover Norquist actually get the kind of world they want. That would really stink.

FakaktaSouth April 12, 2012 at 4:32 pm

Ann says hey, I've got a thick skin, Mitt has been telling me for YEARS that all FIVE of his Grandmothers did everything better than I do. Oh well.

anniegetyerfun April 12, 2012 at 4:44 pm

I look forward to a article that explains to me why Hilary Rosen is right, but for all the wrong reasons.

Wile E. Quixote April 12, 2012 at 6:20 pm

Oooooooh! Ooooooooh! Ooooooh! Will it be written in an incredibly condescending tone?

lochnessmonster April 12, 2012 at 4:50 pm

it was really hard on Ann…when the cleaning lady and nanny did not show up!

Gleem McShineys April 12, 2012 at 4:53 pm

She has thick skin? Those mormon underpants must chafe something AWFUL, but apparently it has its benefits.

URwhatiswrong April 12, 2012 at 4:57 pm

Suck on it Wonkette. Suck on it until you actually change yourself – ya phony.

glamourdammerung April 12, 2012 at 6:20 pm

Cry more.

Negropolis April 12, 2012 at 11:55 pm


UnholyMoses April 12, 2012 at 5:08 pm

Sorry, but Rosen is right.


Not. A. One.

Sorry, but she's not a "Stay at Home Mom." She was a "Very Rich Woman Who Just Made Sure Her Sons Didn't Kill Each Other" and, in all likelihood, didn't do a goddamn bit of housework or worry about paying the bills or anything else the other 99% of people do.

I mean, seriously. Does anyone think she's ever scrubbed a floor? Cleaned a toilet? Did the laundry? Mowed the yard? Figured out how to balance the mortgage, utility, and grocery bills? Picked dog shit off the carpet (or roof the car … whatev)?

Ya know, stuff real stay at home parents* do?

Yeah, me neither.

She's the type of "Stay At Home Mom" who flew to California just so she could ride a horse that costs three times what the average family makes in a year. She's the type of Stay At Home Mom who spent more time making sure the help wasn't stealing the good silverware than she did lifting a finger to help. She's the type of Stay At Home Mom who frets over which Cadillac to drive to her dressage practice.

Face it, conservatives: the guy you're stuck with is a rich fuck whose wife might be very, very sweet (honestly, she could be!) but has not got a single fucking clue what the holy fuck ANY of us — male or female — are going through right now. They're out of touch and, in this economy, are actually the enemy: those who have profited handsomely from actively destroying middle class families.

So go fuck yourselves. Preferably with a string trimmer with its idle set too fast and a metal blade on the end.**

(* There are stay at home dads. Yes, they are rare, but do exist.)

(** This is neither a call for death, nor for skullfucking. So I should be totes good with our Editrix's rules. Correct?)

gurukalehuru April 13, 2012 at 1:04 pm


Gleem McShineys April 12, 2012 at 5:28 pm

So this is what a bajillion dollars of SuperPAC funds buys you? A flurry of inflamed vadge tweets and a Quaker Oats guy impersonator?

Good to know your money's being well spent.

With all the coverage, I almost nearly began starting to look into implementing a tad of research on a little checking about beginning to investigate the chances of perhaps kicking off a moment or two of GIVING A SHIT.

littlebigdaddy April 12, 2012 at 5:43 pm

This is another classic Kinsleyism. A gaffe in politics consists in someone telling the unvarnished truth.

glamourdammerung April 12, 2012 at 6:20 pm

Nothing says personal responsibility like constantly crying about how you are always a victim.

George Spelvin April 12, 2012 at 7:10 pm

I can hardly wait to see the pearl-clutching that will follow an ill-chosen remark from Obama advisor Jane Hamsher.

DahBoner April 12, 2012 at 7:17 pm

Another multimillionare victim!


miss_grundy April 12, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Ann Romney probably has never worked a day in her life because rich, white women like her hire blahs and browns to do all the work around the house, including taking care of the children. How else is she supposed to work on all those Junior League committees, charitable organization committees, etc. if she had to wash dishes, sweep, mop, take care of the little tykes, etc. Please….only white women WORK at home because blahs and browns supposedly only do it for government benefits (read welfare).

DustBowlBlues April 12, 2012 at 10:10 pm

You can damn well bet she worked her ass off, raising five boys and hiring staff to take care of everything–including all their extra homes. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get decent help these days? Especially after huggy's political party put a great, big bullseye on the backs of illegals and then started firing off rounds at them.

Fuck her–three teens, a baby and I cleaned my own g*ddamn house and weeded my own fucking garden and worked full time while I was doing all that shit.

As I said, FUCK ANN ROMNEY. Fuck all the rich women who don't have to work and can hire help.

DustBowlBlues April 12, 2012 at 10:47 pm

Jim–Thanks for mentioning Romney surrogate Jennifer Rubin. Isn't she the one who got her hot pundit spot because she was a local "expert" on New Hampshire? On the rare occasions I watch the ugly witch, she's more and more Republithug, but hangs onto her "independent" status. And I'll bet she has a housekeeper and a landscaping service, too.


oldswede April 12, 2012 at 11:56 pm

A post on Raw Story has a more complete quote from Rosen:
“What you have is Mitt Romney running around the country saying, ‘Well, you know, my wife tells me that what women really care about are economic issues, and when I listen to my wife, that’s what I am hearing.’ Guess what? His wife has actually never worked a day in her life.
“She’s never really dealt with the kinds of economic issues that a majority of the women in this country are facing in terms of how do we feed our kids, how do we send them to school and how do we worry—and why we worry about their future. I think, yes, it’s about these positions and, yes, I think there will be a war of words about the positions.”
[Scandalizing fact: Ann Romney was a stay-at-home mom]
Kinda different when the cherry-picked quote is back in context.

ttommyunger April 14, 2012 at 10:01 am

This finally answers the age-old conundrum: how many wingtards can bloviate on the head of Newt Gingrich's tiny penis?

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