Money makes the world go aroundAnd Buzzfeed Wins Lunchtime with this epic old Public Service Announcement about how bankrupt fraud Newt Gingrich is a Congressman Joe Walsh-level monster who cheats everybody in the universe because he is a sociopath. The ad’s got a catchy beat that you could dance to and great lyrics like “Newt Gingrich wrote a rubber check/To the IRS/That checked bounced like all the rest/This time for nine grand” and “Because bouncing checks is such hard work/He raised his pay 40 thou a year.”

That is some good lyrics yo! But you guys, we are worried! We are starting to think Newt Gingrich might not be good with money! Gingrich for SecTreas! The end.


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  • sullivanst

    That picture… are we sure Kim Jong-Il is dead?

  • These are blunders of Titanic proportions, Newt.

  • Mahousu

    Newt is only bouncing checks because the foundations he creates keep going bankrupt before they pay him all the money they "owe" him. So really, it's all the fault of the Obama economy. Send him the bills.

  • Goonemeritus

    He’s great with money he just doesn’t have enough of it.

  • iburl

    Bling bling
    Everytime I come around yo city
    Bling bling
    Pinky ring worth about fifty
    Bling bling
    Everytime I buy a new wife
    Bling bling
    Whore Diamonds on Tiffany's account
    Bling bling

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    Yay! Now defrauding the government! Awesome. No wonder he won't get out of the race. He's hoping everyone hates the IRS more than they loathe him, his 80 million ex-wives and people who pay their taxes on time. With real checks.

  • Radio福井県

    It's called "being gingRICH."

    • Jus_Wonderin

      Wow, not paying bills nets more pocket money. Who would have Newt.

      • Generation[redacted]

        Wait, I just thought of a solution to our national debt.

  • But he didn't write any bounced checks for ice delivery.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      So, in a nut shell, he claims to have ended an anachronistic ice distribution system. However in reality, he just took jobs from the ice distributors and forced legislators to send their most recently hired intern to go get ice twice a day. Why does Gingrich hate interns?

      On the other side, I'd rather make up rumors about what was inside in the theoretically empty ice bucket he insisted on carrying around. Boehner's balls? His own lost morality? Lunch?

  • Not_So_Much

    That scratch-resistant coating on his wife's head isn't cheap.

    Looks like it's time to have another shitty 'historical' novel ghost-written.

    • elgin_pelican

      LOL – Callista always brings to mind the final scenes of "Death Becomes Her."

  • el_donaldo

    But as long as he can string together unrelated buzzwords guaranteed to stoke the rubes' outrage, they'll continue to send him their checks.

  • SorosBot

    Would you trust that face with your money?

    • Jus_Wonderin

      Well, no, but I could sure stuff more in there than I can under my mattress.

  • Biff

    I'm sure there's a perfectly cromulent explanation, such as he just loves his country so much, you guys…

    • anniegetyerfun

      It'd abundantly clear that he fundamentally cares for this country more than any other candidate. That's indisputable.

  • AlterNewt

    Lying, adultery, corruption, yes, but writing bad checks? Never!

  • "My checks are rubber and you are glue. Your bills bounce off me and stick to YOUUUUUUUUU!!!"

    Personal Motto of Newton "Bad Credit" Gingrich

  • Schmannnity

    Bounces bimbos and checks.

  • LesBontemps

    Maybe Newt could get a job as a school janitor to help make ends meet.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Don't blame Newt — it's Congress' fault for making him pay $300,000 in fines for fraud.

  • Baconzgood

    He's not very good at stuff. Except shutting down the government for not sitting where he wants to on a plane.

  • Not surprising when he views every bill like a wife who gets cancer.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    People still write checks? I didn't know that was still a thing.

    • LesBontemps

      If you're going to bounce it, it's still pretty much required.

    • anniegetyerfun

      Just got back from the grocery store, and I can attest that, yes, people write checks, but not until their entire order has been rung up – THAT'S when you start fishing around for the ol' checkbook.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        And then they stand there and balance their checkbook right there at the counter.

        • anniegetyerfun

          I'm pretty sure this guy went as far as taking his teeth out and polishing them while we waited.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Man, Roy Orbison looks terrible.

    • Generation[redacted]

      After being dead for 20 years, he looks surprisingly spry!

      • BaldarTFlagass

        That's just what Nelson/Spike Wilbury said!

  • Sir_Fartz_Alot

    that ditty needs MOAR WHORE DIAMONDS

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I'm surprised Newt didn't offer to send a check to Larry Scheffler there at Las Vegas Graphics to cover his $8,000 invoice.

  • Callyson

    I'll never be able to listen to Mo Money Mo Problems again…

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    If only passing bad checks were a crime, or enough to lead to the over throw of Congress.

  • RedneckMuslin

    Tem bitchez ain't free, y'all!

    • SorosBot

      Well of course; would anyone be willing to fuck Newt without getting lots of whore diamonds in return? I mean, look at him; it probably takes a lot of work to find his cock among those rolls of fat.

  • SorosBot

    It's not his fault; that first grader Newt hired to balance the checkbooks fucked it up.

  • edgydrifter

    If Newt pays you with a check and it bounces, blame yourself.

  • ThankYouJeebus

    Three biggest lies: the check is in the mail, I won't come in your mouth and, uh… I forget. Oops.

  • James Michael Curley

    Newt thought he still had money in the account because he still had checks in the book.

  • owhatever

    Oh, that balanced budget stuff, that's for other people. I think big, grand, huge, stupendous thoughts, as did Audie Murphy when he was awarded the Queen's Crown in 1845 and prevented the Japanese from driving the Titanic into Hawaii.

  • Aren't there some hungry gators in Florida that need feeding and would like some rubbery Gummi™ Newt?

  • IncenseDebate

    Don't write a check with your mouth that your body can't cash.

  • DetectiveGrey

    Much like white boy gangsters 3OH!3, Gingrich apparently believes he can do anything, anything, anything he wants.

  • sullivanst

    Fundamentally, we cannot comprehend how fiscally responsible Newt is being by bouncing checks.

  • barto

    newt just wants to play with the big boyz: fail an enterprise – get a raise!

    • comrad_darkness

      At taxpayer expense.

  • When Calista dumps his loser ass, he won't be bouncing back.

  • DahBoner

    With the trucker's wipers keeping time, Newt played his bone while Calista sang the No Mo Tiffanys Blues…

  • Tundra Grifter

    Is that photo James O'keefe's father?

  • comrad_darkness

    It's not Newt's fault because he was sleeping with his math teacher in high school and therefore didn't have to study. It's all about the free market, people.

  • ttommyunger

    "Insufficient funds? Impossible, I still have checks!"

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