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Check-Kiting Con-Man Newt Gingrich Has Been Bouncing Checks To Everyone, Forever (VIDEO!)

Money makes the world go aroundAnd Buzzfeed Wins Lunchtime with this epic old Public Service Announcement about how bankrupt fraud Newt Gingrich is a Congressman Joe Walsh-level monster who cheats everybody in the universe because he is a sociopath. The ad’s got a catchy beat that you could dance to and great lyrics like “Newt Gingrich wrote a rubber check/To the IRS/That checked bounced like all the rest/This time for nine grand” and “Because bouncing checks is such hard work/He raised his pay 40 thou a year.”

That is some good lyrics yo! But you guys, we are worried! We are starting to think Newt Gingrich might not be good with money! Gingrich for SecTreas! The end.

[Buzzfeed]

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Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

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57 comments

  1. Mahousu

    Newt is only bouncing checks because the foundations he creates keep going bankrupt before they pay him all the money they "owe" him. So really, it's all the fault of the Obama economy. Send him the bills.

  2. iburl

    Bling bling
    Everytime I come around yo city
    Bling bling
    Pinky ring worth about fifty
    Bling bling
    Everytime I buy a new wife
    Bling bling
    Whore Diamonds on Tiffany's account
    Bling bling

  3. CogitoErgoBibo

    Yay! Now defrauding the government! Awesome. No wonder he won't get out of the race. He's hoping everyone hates the IRS more than they loathe him, his 80 million ex-wives and people who pay their taxes on time. With real checks.

    1. CogitoErgoBibo

      So, in a nut shell, he claims to have ended an anachronistic ice distribution system. However in reality, he just took jobs from the ice distributors and forced legislators to send their most recently hired intern to go get ice twice a day. Why does Gingrich hate interns?

      On the other side, I'd rather make up rumors about what was inside in the theoretically empty ice bucket he insisted on carrying around. Boehner's balls? His own lost morality? Lunch?

  4. Not_So_Much

    That scratch-resistant coating on his wife's head isn't cheap.

    Looks like it's time to have another shitty 'historical' novel ghost-written.

  5. el_donaldo

    But as long as he can string together unrelated buzzwords guaranteed to stoke the rubes' outrage, they'll continue to send him their checks.

  6. Biff

    I'm sure there's a perfectly cromulent explanation, such as he just loves his country so much, you guys…

    1. anniegetyerfun

      It'd abundantly clear that he fundamentally cares for this country more than any other candidate. That's indisputable.

  7. SayItWithWookies

    Don't blame Newt — it's Congress' fault for making him pay $300,000 in fines for fraud.

  8. Baconzgood

    He's not very good at stuff. Except shutting down the government for not sitting where he wants to on a plane.

    1. anniegetyerfun

      Just got back from the grocery store, and I can attest that, yes, people write checks, but not until their entire order has been rung up – THAT'S when you start fishing around for the ol' checkbook.

        1. anniegetyerfun

          I'm pretty sure this guy went as far as taking his teeth out and polishing them while we waited.

  9. BaldarTFlagass

    I'm surprised Newt didn't offer to send a check to Larry Scheffler there at Las Vegas Graphics to cover his $8,000 invoice.

  10. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    If only passing bad checks were a crime, or enough to lead to the over throw of Congress.

    1. SorosBot

      Well of course; would anyone be willing to fuck Newt without getting lots of whore diamonds in return? I mean, look at him; it probably takes a lot of work to find his cock among those rolls of fat.

  11. ThankYouJeebus

    Three biggest lies: the check is in the mail, I won't come in your mouth and, uh… I forget. Oops.

  12. James Michael Curley

    Newt thought he still had money in the account because he still had checks in the book.

  13. owhatever

    Oh, that balanced budget stuff, that's for other people. I think big, grand, huge, stupendous thoughts, as did Audie Murphy when he was awarded the Queen's Crown in 1845 and prevented the Japanese from driving the Titanic into Hawaii.

  14. DetectiveGrey

    Much like white boy gangsters 3OH!3, Gingrich apparently believes he can do anything, anything, anything he wants.

  15. sullivanst

    Fundamentally, we cannot comprehend how fiscally responsible Newt is being by bouncing checks.

  16. DahBoner

    With the trucker's wipers keeping time, Newt played his bone while Calista sang the No Mo Tiffanys Blues…

  17. comrad_darkness

    It's not Newt's fault because he was sleeping with his math teacher in high school and therefore didn't have to study. It's all about the free market, people.

Comments are closed.