Humanesque check-kiting shit-pie fraud Newt Gingrich has had an embarrassing day. Where he should have been eating pouty dick Rick Santorum’s brains to garner his fallen opponent’s powers, instead he is busy getting laughed at for bouncing a $500 check for Utah’s ballot filing fee. Newsmax.tv got to EXCLUSIVELY INTERVIEW His Corpulence, but shockingly they did not ask him about this hilarious news. Instead they just let him go on with your typical boilerplate of “drill” and “Etch a Sketch” and “I am Rocky Balboa and Reagan” and “when do my V Lizardoid Queen Consort and I get to go back to Greece.” Well, you could go now, you know. Bet Mitt Romney would even generously pay for the Greyhound tickets!
Pretty much the only thing we heard in this “exclusive interview” (Newt Gingrich is really boring when he is sad) is that making rich people pay the same tax rate as poor people is “punishing them for being successful,” because of course it is. Here, have this sad pathetic thing. Oh for the Newt Gingrich of old, making John King cry.