DOOR ASS ETC.  9:20 am April 11, 2012

Young Turks Stop Yelling Long Enough To Bid Rick Santorum Adieu (VIDEO)

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Pucker up buttercupKeith Olbermann’s favorite political television program hoster ever, Cenk [Last Name] of The Young Turks on Current TV, has put together a touching video tribute to the man who made this GOP primary season bearable for so very many of us. What would we have had without his spitting, his sneering, his whining and pouting, and — most importantly — those smegma-slicked lips? Nothing, it would have just been Newt Gingrich yelling at John King (and John King apologizing for having the bad manners to ask questions in a debate) and constantly horribly ill-at-ease Mitt Romney stuttering and flop-sweating. That would not have been interesting no matter how many times Diane Sawyer went to the pharmacy for airplane glue! (Grampa Ron Paul continues to not actually exist.) After the jump, relive the good times. (And Cenk [Last Name] doesn’t yell even once.)

[TheYoungTurks]

 
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{ 86 comments }

Pragmatist2 April 11, 2012 at 9:26 am

"Young Turks"? I would think they would be Obama backers – being Radical Muslins and all.

actor212 April 11, 2012 at 9:52 am

They haven't stopped shouting long enough to pick anyone

UnionAgitator April 11, 2012 at 11:44 am

The Young Turks usually spend their days killing Armenians.

But as the queer German, Ate-Off-Hitler said, "Who remembers the Armenians – except the Kardashians?"

Young Turks and the Armenian Genocide

ifthethunderdontgetya April 11, 2012 at 9:27 am
noodlesalad April 11, 2012 at 10:11 am

+10000000 Even though there was evidence that the campaign never actually formed a brain or a heartbeat, you gotta see this one out. Sorry, rule of the land.

Jus_Wonderin April 11, 2012 at 10:15 am

Did his campaign have a genetic defect?

iburl April 11, 2012 at 11:58 am

Yes, Anencephaly.

freakishlywrong April 11, 2012 at 9:28 am

NEEDS MOAR SWEATER VEST.

x111e7thst April 11, 2012 at 9:29 am

I've said it before but it is worth repeating. Rick is an ambulating colostomy bag. Thanks for the good times though.

Fare la Volpe April 11, 2012 at 9:30 am

You know that one obnoxiously loud frat boy who lived down the hall from you freshman year? The one who spent most of the night yelling about how awesome The Sex Pistols are, and who was constantly trying to hit you up for a good weed dealer?

He has a show on Current now.

ifthethunderdontgetya April 11, 2012 at 9:37 am

Hey! I wasn't in a frat…
~

actor212 April 11, 2012 at 9:53 am

I had a good weed dealer!

PhilippePetain April 11, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Wow, your frat boys listened to the Sex Pistols? Bravo….I had to put up with people blasting 311 and Linkin Park for years.

Texan_Bulldog April 11, 2012 at 9:32 am

So long, Ricky. Don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya!

Fare la Volpe April 11, 2012 at 9:38 am

And your rentboy lick'd ya.

Data Exactly April 11, 2012 at 4:27 pm

And where the microphone spliffed ya.

SorosBot April 11, 2012 at 9:33 am

Voters Slowly Realizing Santorum Believes Every Deranged Word That Comes Out Of His Mouth

Goodbye, you crazy, backwards, hateful frothy mix of a man!

cheetojeebus April 11, 2012 at 9:33 am

That little red car made me dizzy.

Allmighty_Manos April 11, 2012 at 9:34 am

In 50 years people will be asking "I heard Santorum was named after some Congressman, is that true?"

tcaalaw April 11, 2012 at 9:44 am

Yes, but only if we keep the flame alive! We must all make a sacred vow to never forget to mention that santorum is the frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the by-product of anal sex, even years after Rick Santorum is no longer on the political scene.

DerrickWildcat April 11, 2012 at 9:34 am

I do NOT like Rod Stewart!

ChurchofRealism April 11, 2012 at 9:38 am

Apparently, abortion is cool when it comes to presidential campaigns.

actor212 April 11, 2012 at 9:54 am

I think Santorum schiavoed his candidacy, more than aborted it.

Doktor StrangeZoom April 11, 2012 at 10:08 am

There was never any discernible brain activity, after all.

Doktor StrangeZoom April 11, 2012 at 10:26 am

Huh. I thought "discernible" was spelled "discernable," and so I googled the word, and the third result was this.

I find that rather implausible, frankly.

Toomush_Infer April 11, 2012 at 10:34 am

You can tell by the way she walks…

BerkeleyBear April 11, 2012 at 10:51 am

Damn Belgians and their sexologists!

Really find it hard to take seriously. But if I am reading it right, a woman who vamps in public, advertising her sexuality, might actually enjoy sexual penetration more than one who doesn't. Stunning observation, and an amazing excuse to stare at women's asses – really, I'm doing research!

George Spelvin April 11, 2012 at 5:42 pm

First thing I did after reading the headline was check the date, but apparently they're serious. Belgian, though.

SorosBot April 11, 2012 at 10:42 am

But Santorum doesn't seem to think that matters with all the little zygotes he thinks are somehow humans with rights that trump those of women.

ttommyunger April 11, 2012 at 9:38 am

Byeh, byeh, Ricky; don't let the door hit you on your ample ass on the way out. Oh, and by the way, FUCK YOU VERY MUCH!

Goonemeritus April 11, 2012 at 9:39 am

I guess America isn’t quite ready to have an all out religious war. Who knows maybe in another 4 years we can take our place among nations like Bosnia and Beirut.

elgin_pelican April 11, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Well, we war against Christmas, but by December 25 we're just too overwrought to bring out the long knives against the Godly.

x111e7thst April 11, 2012 at 9:41 am

Santorum: "A gay will come, and marry your son, your daughter will love her abortions.."

tcaalaw April 11, 2012 at 9:42 am

Ricky, have you ever been in a Turkish prison? Let me tell you, they know their santorum there.

BaldarTFlagass April 11, 2012 at 9:54 am

Better re-read the definition of Santorum. They do not use lube in Turkish prison.

tcaalaw April 11, 2012 at 2:24 pm

I was assuming that they saved lamb fat drippings from the meals to use as lube.

Boojum April 12, 2012 at 11:58 am

Or spit, or blood. The basics.

Jus_Wonderin April 11, 2012 at 10:59 am

Ricky, do you like movies about Gladiators?

littlebigdaddy April 11, 2012 at 9:44 am

You get way more cable channels than I do.

actor212 April 11, 2012 at 9:55 am

It's on DISH Network, which I highly recommend as the only television provider that isn't owned by a right wing conglomerate.

FakaktaSouth April 11, 2012 at 9:49 am

Much in the spirit of Ricky's quitter speech, NONE of his supporters I have talked to have dared speaketh R-money's name. It is weird – but wonderful. I've seen some MASSIVE birtherism and a lot of Obama hate but nothing in support of the Mittster. Come on 3rd party…you can do it…

SaintRond April 11, 2012 at 9:51 am

I'm going to miss that deranged piece of shit.

actor212 April 11, 2012 at 9:52 am

Editrix, I'm not sure how Cenk spells his last name, but it's pronounced "Whigger"

LagunaB April 11, 2012 at 10:51 am

Kinda close but the u is oo and j is y.

actor212 April 11, 2012 at 11:17 am

Why do you hate Amurica, lib?

BaldarTFlagass April 11, 2012 at 9:54 am

Needs more yelling.

actor212 April 11, 2012 at 9:57 am

SGT SLAUGHTER LIBEL, MAGGOT!

BigSkullF*ckingDog April 11, 2012 at 9:55 am

GAME OFF!

actor212 April 11, 2012 at 9:58 am

Does this mean there won't be a Santorum commemorative quarter?

BTW, how are they planning to engrave a black President on a coin when they get around to Obama?

Doktor StrangeZoom April 11, 2012 at 10:11 am

I dunno; maybe they'll make him glow in the dark? If it works for Canadian dinosaurs, it may work for the Magic Negro. [ /freeper ]

widestanceromance April 11, 2012 at 10:16 am

Sharpie sold separately.

BerkeleyBear April 11, 2012 at 10:45 am

Shading. Or by putting him in a hoodie.

el_donaldo April 11, 2012 at 10:00 am

He had you on his show, and you can't get his last name down? Editrix, I hope you're better at morning-after first names. And I'll volunteer to test that out.

actor212 April 11, 2012 at 10:04 am

She probably gets all glassy-eyed…

Did I say that in my outer voice?

Oops.

MilwaukeeKent April 11, 2012 at 10:01 am

Well, GOP, now that you have Santorum dropping out, eh, time to take a long shower, sober up, and shamble forth to vote with yawning enthusiasm for Mr. Excitement.

widestanceromance April 11, 2012 at 10:03 am

How many more patriots will we lose before Dog stops his cruel jokes of telling the dim to run, I ask you?

LiveToServeYa April 11, 2012 at 10:04 am

You just can't stop the Santorum. Well, butt plugs, but otherwise … Also, I heard that Current TV was Past.

Beowoof April 11, 2012 at 10:04 am

I always thought Keith hated Cenk as he didn't want any competition yelling while at Current.

anniegetyerfun April 11, 2012 at 10:21 am

I just sort of assumed that Keith hated everyone.

James Michael Curley April 11, 2012 at 10:09 am

Back in the motorcycle shop days of my youth the "Young Turks" were a gang with colors in NJ. A little lame as they road Honda Fours and once got their collective turkises kicked by the Coffin Kickers. This is how I often started my day for a few years, "I don't want no jap plugs in my machine." Didn't need coffee.

elviouslyqueer April 11, 2012 at 10:09 am

Aw, the Little Train That Could finally derailed. So long, you lesbian-daughter-having, psychotic-son-training, fetus-in-the-bed-hugging, total shitstain of a human being.

Jus_Wonderin April 11, 2012 at 11:00 am

EQ, don't go pulling punches.

freakishlywrong April 11, 2012 at 10:13 am

He's just saving himself for 2016. That's what the teevee tells me anyway. You know, because he's so viable and mainstream.

SorosBot April 11, 2012 at 10:23 am

That would be good news for Elizabeth Warren (hopefully).

actor212 April 11, 2012 at 10:24 am

Actually, if you look at the Republican primaries over the last generation, the runner up is the nominee next time around: Reagan, Bush the Elder, and McCain…

SorosBot April 11, 2012 at 10:45 am

Bob Dole is sad that you've forgotten Bob Dole.

(Though W. Bush bucked the trend, thanks to Buchannan being an obvious nutcase who decided to go for the third party run instead.)

actor212 April 11, 2012 at 11:18 am

Oh crap! I did! I need to be whipped!

Is your girlfriend free this afternoon?

SorosBot April 11, 2012 at 12:02 pm

No, she will be busy with –

- wait, you're trying to trick me into revealing our plans, aren't you? It won't work.

not that Dewey April 11, 2012 at 10:15 am

Young Turks Stop Yelling

I doubt that.

anniegetyerfun April 11, 2012 at 10:15 am

I'd only ever heard Cenk (on, like, AirAmerica or something), never seen him.

I'd hit it.

Barb April 11, 2012 at 10:16 am

Cenk Kadir Uygur is my hero for this. Except for the Donald Trump cameo. That gave me the hiccups.

FakaktaSouth April 11, 2012 at 10:16 am

Sorry to be a "Looksist?" "Noseist?" but I am so glad I will not have look at his face while listening to the garbage coming out of the hole beneath that way-too-small-for-his-face nose. It is like his need to constantly wrinkle it at things has shrunk it up and I just don't want to see his stupid face any more. Good bye Rick you whiney sociopath.

It truly feels like someone stomped on his ant hill and now all his freaks are running around screaming about the foreign blah dude that's gonna kill us all with taxes and healthcare.

anniegetyerfun April 11, 2012 at 10:27 am

But you are right – there is so much wrong with his face. The fact that it is powered by a hateful bigoted little brain doesn't help at all, because you can get away with a severely goofy face if you have a charming personality to match. But combine such a face with a bitchy, whiny voice and loathsome personality, and the face just gets that much worse.

FakaktaSouth April 11, 2012 at 10:40 am

Seriously – it DOES work both ways – I don't call Bernie Sanders my pretend boyfriend just because he looks so fine. That sweet sweet talking of his makes me crazy, baby.

Mumbletypeg April 11, 2012 at 10:17 am

O/T Charles Manson up for parole for the gazillionth time ~

I didn't watch Palin do her stint on whatever morning news but I might have if it included seeing her presented w/ this news item to bring to the nation's attention. Who knows why. Maybe as a counterpoint to the craven self-righteous ignominy she, Ricky & ilk share.

mavenmaven April 11, 2012 at 10:20 am

Rick who?

Doktor StrangeZoom April 11, 2012 at 10:29 am

You know, the guy who stayed in longer than Tim Pawlenzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

smitallica April 11, 2012 at 10:27 am

I like Cenk. I don't like him as much as he likes the sound of his own voice and his own jokes, but I do like him.

proudgrampa April 11, 2012 at 10:30 am

I confess that even the one-in-a-million chance that this asshole might win the Republican nomination and win in November kept me up at night. Screaming. In abject terror.

I am sleeping much better, now.

wood50 April 11, 2012 at 10:46 am

Not to worry about Ricky's future.
He'll be back…kinda like that floater you have to reflush sometimes two or three times to try to get it to go away…but it just won't.

And there'll always be those who try to stop you from flushing.
But as happens with his kind, In the end, they always end up with Santorum.

Man0nTheStreet April 11, 2012 at 10:47 am

To : Rebecca [Last Name],

The guy at Young Turks is named Cenk Uygur. And don't worry, his middle name is not "Ni-"…

chicken_thief April 11, 2012 at 11:10 am

Fuck. Now that it's safe to wear sweater vests again, the weather is too warm.

mrblifil April 11, 2012 at 12:20 pm

OF COOOUUUURRRSSE!

DahBoner April 11, 2012 at 12:56 pm

These are young Turks?

Where's the hookah, mint tea and baklava?

rickmaci April 11, 2012 at 1:44 pm

I'm thinking National Sweater Vest Bonfires from California to Maine this weekend.

gurukalehuru April 11, 2012 at 2:22 pm

I was a huge fan of the written Cenk Uygur until I saw him in person. I'm still a fan, but he does get awfully shouty at times.

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