Following a first-quarter fundraising haul in which she doubled sexy human bear rug Scott Brown’s take, everyone’s favorite plainspoken Minnesota Girl Scout troop leader Harvard professor/US Senate candidate Elizabeth Warren is just cold clicking “forward” on Brown’s latest sad fundraising email and sending it on to all her supporters, while doubled over laughing. Penalty! Penalty! Excessive celebrating! Um, 15 yards or something? Here, let us brighten our morning by excessively celebrating too!
Dear [Celebrities and Occupiers],
Scott Brown just sent out an email about you — and it’s not very nice.
The Senator isn’t being a good sport about being outraised two-to-one in the last fundraising quarter. As you can read below, he’s labeling our supporters “insiders, celebrities, elites, occupiers, leftists” — and then makes some ridiculous excuses about why Elizabeth’s grassroots support is so strong.
Blah blah blah send us moar munneez, et cetera and forever. But what DID Scott Brown say about you? Let us find out now, by reading the email the Warren camp forwarded, for lo, we are dying to know!
Dear [Not You],
I want you to know exactly what we are up against:
Thanks to you and thousands of others, our campaign raised $3.4 million in the last quarter, but Professor Elizabeth Warren raised twice that amount: $6.9 million. How in the world could she raise so much?
She is a far-left ideologue and her liberal friends from across the country are helping her: She has the Harry Reid Democrats, the Hollywood Crowd, the Far Left Juggernaut, the Occupy Wall Street Bunch, and the Massachusetts Machine raising money hand-over-clenched fist.
This is the #1 Senate race in the country and our rival will have virtually unlimited money to burn. You have been a terrific supporter, but I wanted you to know what we are facing.
Warren’s fundraising is breaking every record!
Will you help me again?
Your online contribution will help stop Professor Warren’s election to the U.S. Senate.
WE MUST WIN . . . if she wins, she will take her place among the most ardent leftist ideologues in the United States Senate.
Warren will raise taxes. I won’t.
Warren is soft on illegal immigration. I’m not.
Warren wants to go even further than Obamacare. I want it repealed.
Warren believes in big government power. I believe in people power.
This is why Washington insiders, celebrities, elites, occupiers and leftists are pouring money into their attack campaign against me, and why I need your generous help again, right now, whether it’s for $25, $50, $100 or some other amount, to fight back hard and win.
Hahaha, what a sadsack! “Send me money I am so much worse at this than Elizabeth Warren is, with her record setting and historicalness.” You can practically hear the Charlie Brown Sad Song as he trudges along with his head hilariously down. (Also? Elizabeth Warren is a monster with the Presbyterian mother — we assume? — guilt, and Scott Brown will probably punch something, sulk awhile, and then go upstairs and get a sweater, just like she said.) We would have forwarded the shit out of that too! Oh look we just did!
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He's the Newt Gingrich of Senate campaign finance!!
At least he can balance a checkbook, though.
By spinning it on his finger?
Because his campaign finances are in the (2) toilets?
"I believe in people power."
Fucking Socialist.
He meant Republican "people power" where the poors carry their betters in golden litters through the streets.
He didn't mean those "other people". And the general public.
He meant he believes in burning people for fuel.
Clean Soylent!
Corporate "people" power.
Ugh, more like fucking politician relying on catchy phrases that mean absolutely nothing.
Brown is pissing into the wind. Liz will pound him.
With the biggest strap-on she has.
I'd like to volunteer to do the same, with same strap-on, to Mittens, please.
can't wait for the debates!
Scotty will not do well against Liz,he's a dope
I'm happy to see this because we now KNOW, based on consistency of message and hatred of hypocrisy that Scott won't touch a DIME of that outsidery money from Karl's GPS and will in fact fight against said use in the fight for the Presidency.
Fakakta been into the happy hour medication already? Well then, cheers!
It's 8:0FIVE in the dirrty dirrty south, I think I've done well to let it get this late in the day.
Double points for attacking Obamacare in a state that already has it and where polling has shown most approve of it.
And didn't that Scott Brown asshole actually vote FOR 'bamaCare when it came up for a vote, thus prompting the rabid teapartiers to froth at the mouth and declare that they hadn't gotten the candidate they thought they were getting?
Perhaps I am mis-remembering.
PROFESSOR!!!!!!!!!!!!! You mean she's an ACTIVE lesbian maker!!!!!
Next thing you're going to tell me is that she's a Girl Scout troop leader!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wake up and smell the cookies, people!!!!
Brown is apparently under the impression Massachusetts likes its senators young, dumb and full of…right wing slander
Not only was the Professor a Girl Scout troop leader…she ARMED the little lesbos with SHARP KNIVES!!!! And maybe pointed sticks, too!
Stop quoting mee-e!!! Mo-oom, Liz is quoting me again!
Campaign note…Don't refer to the other guy/girl as "Professor". Ya see professor makes her look really really smart. You want to make the other person look dumb.
Whoever wrote that forgot what state he is in. They followed typical RW formula (SMART PEOPLE-BOOGIDY BOOGIDY BOO!) forgetting this is MA not TX*
*I love you Austin and other Dems in TX, but you are far outnumbered by the dumbass clan of which my aunt is a member
True enough, but if you are going for the hard core, inbred, funders calling her 'Professor' is like a call to arms. All those stances AND edumacated, uppity overies on the loose
Knowing stuff is bad!
Not in the wingnut world, where they see being smart as actually a negative, instead of a positive. Why some of those smart people, when proven facts contradict some stupid old book, will actually agree that the facts are true instead of the dumb book!
Waaait a minute. I'm under the impression Newt Gingrich is a professor, and the smartest person to ever live in history.
Except for Mr Jesus H Christ hisself, that is essentially true. Prof Speaker Lobbyist Newt! Gingrich is absolutely one of the worlds greatest HISTRY experts!!! He is profoundly and deeply smart!
Which is why he did not get tenure at WEST GEORGIA FUCKING COLLEGE, because of his smartiness.
Scott Brown should play Ian Faith in the Broadway version of This Is Spinal Tap.
Ian Faith: The Boston gig has been cancelled. … I wouldn't worry about it though, it's not a big college town.
Scott Brown: "I am not being Senator from Massachussets with you or any other woman! I quit!"
Not if your base is composed of the rich and the stupid….that's one percent and 55%….
She's a snob.
In Massachusetts, of all places, referring to someone as Professor is likely to give her more votes.
Scotty, you're not in Kansas anymore…
"Far Left Juggernaut" – Huh?
"Massachusetts Machine" – What, did the Patriots change their name after getting humiliated by the Giants for a second time in the SB? Actually, sounds more like the name for a soccer or arena football team.
Surprised he didn't add some commie-baiting and go for that all-important '70s Cincinatti anti-fan demographic by calling it the "Big Red Machine".
That "the Far Left Juggernaut" caught my eye, too. Also. As a member of the Near Left Juggernaut, I am insulted by the lack of mention.
Far Left Juggernaut……I have been looking for a phrase that captured me for years. Thanks Scott Brown for giving me one.
I'm the Far Left Juggernaut, Bitch!!!
I’m a little uncomfortable with the way Professor Warren is using her obvious smoldering sexuality to influence this race.
I'd hit that.
I so love that woman.
Yup, Her smoldering sexuality/intellectuality makes her HAWT.
Funny, but I love the way Professor Warren is using her obvious smoldering sexuality to influence this race.
Phwoar! Look at the brains on her!
She is my naughty librarian fantasy girl, I mean Professor.
"How in the world could she raise so much?"
Campaign contributions. How do they work?
Scott Walker's financials must totally blow his beautiful mind.
Slush comes in, graft goes out… never any miscommunication.
Yes, we know just how much money and power those Occupy Wall Street students have! Brownies and Djembas have been flooding in!
Warren’s fundraising is breaking every record!
Well, that's who I'm voting for, then, you loser pussy.
Huh, I didn't know the disorganized occupy kids, protesting about there not being any jobs out there for them, were elitists, insiders, celebrities and a fundraising juggernaut.
You're never too old to learn, eh, SB?
Wow, those Wasilla Grift-O-Matic late-night infomercials are getting some traction, eh? Who knew?
At this rate, Scott will be forced to raise money by pimping his daughters out and selling autographed copies of his Cosmo centerfold by Sept.
It worked the first time!
I'll take one or both daughters, in exchange for this can of hobo beans I found in your basement.
So many of these socialist juggernauting lefties are just awash in capitalist monies.
/ head asplodes, wipes screen
Warren/whoever 2016
You read my mind!
He'd probably get a better response if he just said that Elizabeth Warren is a big fan of Red Sox Killer Robert Andino.
And Eli Manning.
Elizabeth Warren screwed up Bobby Orr's knee. And Larry Bird's back.
"Hi. I'm Scott Brown. This is all my shit, packed in my truck."
I'd volunteer to help him move. Oh, wait, no I wouldn't. Clean out your own damn office, Scott.
I am part of the Far Left Juggernaut? Yay me?
This is so cool- maybe we'll find the Golden Fleece and hear the Sirens' song!
Today we are ALL part of the Far Left Juggernaut.
Scottie is going to have to whip out the daughters and exploit them for political gain. Or are they "leftists" as well? I mean, it IS fucking Taxaschusetts. Masshole.
Elites and Occupiers.
Nice, consistent messaging, Scotty.
Oh wait, did you just announce to the world that Elizabeth Warren has a broad spectrum of support? And you're running against her? How can she compete against that kind of campaign genius?
Now if you'll excuse me, with that picture atop the page, I need a few minutes of private time.
Don't you know? the Occupy movement is all rich entitled college kids who are too lazy to get one of the many jobs just waiting to be filled.
Yeah, them fuckers didn't have any trouble going down to Alabama and risking their lives 50 years ago for blah civil rights, so why don't they go down there now and help harvest the crops? Save the economy? There's boo-coo jobs doing that, and they even pay the minimum wage.
instead of fapping, it's "gopping".
gop gop gop gop gop gop gop gop gop…
the Far Left Juggernaut
I had no idea Cain Marko was so political.
"Silly bitch, your Super PACs cannot harm me."
You'd be surprised; in between breaking into banks and trying to get revenge on his stepbrother, he's as articulate defender of the right to SMASH!
A LIBERAL doing well in Massachusetts? The country is obviously in for a disaster of biblical proportions. Real wrath of god type stuff. Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling!n Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes! Volcanoes! The dead rising from the grave! Human Sacrifice! Dogs and cats living together! MASS HYSTERIA!
"How in the world could she raise so much?"
Not being a prick helps.
Oh, yeah, that letter worked–I got it last night, and as a ardent leftist ideologue and limousine liberal, I immediately sent ten bucks to that Professor lady. Why? Because I am an educated elitist (working a $12.50/hr temp job) who wants to fundamentally transform America. Also, Europe.
Yeah, PLEASE don't throw me in the briar patch!!! I do wonder when they are going to realize that their descriptions of the leftist agenda are starting to look really damn good. That list of things he "nails" her with does explain why I love her so. That and the consumer protection bureau she created.
"Also, Europe."
HA!!
Professor Elizabeth Warren raised twice that amount…How in the world could she raise so much?
Math has a liberal bias…
Or, "tits".
Reality cheque:
Harry Reid Democrats? Both of them?
Hollywood Crowd? Too busy playing Angry Birds on airplanes.
Far Left Juggernaut? …and who the fuck is this?
Occupy Wall Street Bunch? Oh, Right: The 'unwashed in tents' you called them… Massachusetts Machine? Gov. Romney's or the one backing Scot in 08?
I think Juggernauts should be bipartisan. One jug on the left, one jug on the right.
Cletus, you gonna pass the jug, or not?
I think a "Juggernaut" would be one of them skinny Eastern European models who weigh about 98 pounds wringing wet.
Balls!
Juggernaut is that big dude that can run through walls and stuff.
Wow, there's a reference I wasn't expecting to see! Nice to know there's other Marvel Comics readers here. Should I be impressed or ashamed? Can I be both?
New here?
There are so many ways for you to be both, but we will need pics first.
"Warren is soft. I'm not."
"Don't believe the photos!"
GOODONYA, LIZ! I only hope you are as mean as you are smart and honest.
"Warren will raise taxes. I won’t.
Warren is soft on illegal immigration. I’m not.
Warren wants to go even further than Obamacare. I want it repealed.
Warren believes in big government power. I believe in people power."
Scott Brown isn't even pretending to have a platform with ideas in it. Even if I were a Republican, I couldn't see where it would be in my interest to vote for this pathetic list of empty slogans. How about the economy and jerbs?
"Professor, what's another word for pirate treasure?"
Are you saying she has a nice booty as well?
Arrrrr.
Why are we throwing a fucking victory party for Elizabeth Warren, when there is no polling evidence that she's actually going to win this thing yet?
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/10/massachu…
CK:
I have three words for you: "Obama's coattails."
TG:
You had better hope we keep the Senate, because a House majority is doubtful, given the anemic effort being put forth to get it.
And yet, it would be a disaster, rather than just a debacle, if Romney somehow became President. These are the choices we have, because the Democratic Party and its voters have neither the foresight nor the party discipline to plan for long term majorities 2 or 3 elections out. Democrats go in, Democrats go out, never a coordination.
Well, when your base demands unicorns, rather than just obstructionism, acceptable majorities are hard to craft.
"I'm not a member of an organized political party. I'm a Democrat."
– Wil Rogers
My party is kinda like the teenage kid you think is a complete loser who suddenly aces the SAT's and gets into the college of her choice. Somehow, most of the time, it seems to manage to pull it together at the end.
Never mind "Obama's coattails" … "2012 GOP campaign" is more than enough to apall Mass. voters. And it has 3 words, sort of.
Five words: She is not Martha Coakley.
Darling, take a look at this.
http://www.predictwise.com/politics/SenateMA
What is this site, and how does it work?
It's a betting site and they average out 3 or 4 different similar sites, it has been quite predictive in the past.
2L:
I love it when you call me Darling.
Even if you weren't really talking to me.
HOPE? (ducks head, dodges tomatoes, rocks, bricks…)
Holy shit- roll those attack ads, STAT!
Rasmussen has her in a dead heat, which is sort of like being way ahead.
Best "news" I heard in several weeks was Dick Morris saying Mr. Obama was going to lose bigtime in November.
I think I may have deleted that accidentally. It is a site that averages other sites including Intrade etc that users place bets on various races etc. It has been quite accurate in the past.
Scott learns it sucks to be centerfolded. Too bad, staple-navel guy!
Where do I sign to join the Far Left Juggernaut?
the Far Left Juggernaut
I'm looking forward to Warren releasing a TV ad that depicts Vinnie Jones as a ranting neanderthalic Brown supporter, at which point Warren walks into the frame, shoves him out of the way and says, "I'm the bitch, Juggernaut!" (OK, yes, I admit, that's an X-Men 3 joke. Please don't hurt me.)
Walks in frame LEFT, mind you.
This is the strategy Mr. Obama can use when (r)Money finally gets into the ring against him.
Just re-run all those negative attack ads (as opposed to the positive attack ads, of which there are none) produced by the other GNoPee candidates.
That should do the trick.
Shorter Scott Brown: "I say I believe in the people, but the people obviously believe in Elizabeth Warren, so there you go."
There are only so many ways to win COTD, and this is all of them.
If Scotty wants to raise a lot of cash, he should charge people to look at his schlong or take pictures with his schlong – like Newt Gingrich. Isn't that how Scott paid for law school?
"Massachusetts Machine"?
Hey! Brownie. YOU talking about me? Are your talking about ME?
The doctor said I had a Far Left Juggernaut. He used the Massachusetts Machine to remove it.
"How in the world could she raise so much?"
The question Lou Sarah really really wants the answer to.
The left juggernaut is always a little bigger and hangs a little lower than the right juggernaut.
Really, the "Harry Reid Deomocrats" are the new bogey man of the Republicans? Boring Mormon capitulation scares me, too.
“There is nobody in this country who got rich on their own. Nobody. You built a factory out there – good for you. But I want to be clear. You moved your goods to market on roads the rest of us paid for. You hired workers the rest of us paid to educate. You were safe in your factory because of police forces and fire forces that the rest of us paid for. You didn't have to worry that marauding bands would come and seize everything at your factory… Now look. You built a factory and it turned into something terrific or a great idea – God bless! Keep a hunk of it. But part of the underlying social contract is you take a hunk of that and pay forward for the next kid who comes along.”
― Elizabeth Warren
This is why I love Elizabeth.
I'm reposting this everywhere.
Thank you, Boo. She deserves all of our support and campaign contributions. And I don't even live in Massachusetts.
Warren / 2016 !!
I sent a contribution to Elizabeth Warren and got a draft notice for the Far Left Juggernaut a week later.
Damn, Scottie. Things are looking grim. Better pull out the one go-to weapon in the Republican arsenal that's always a hit: try to link Elizabeth Warren to Ted Kennedy.
That definitely rates a hahahaha.
Shorter Scott Brown-
"I don't have money! I need more money! She is intelligent, charming and knows of what she speaks. Whaaaaa!! Oh and Obama is blah! SEND MONEY!! MONEY!!"
At least Brown had the sense not to go full re†ard and trash the "elites" who are backing Warren. Elite intellectuals are like the cash crop of Massachusetts.
Because your financial backers bought the Citizens United decision.
Glad to see my $25 contribution makes me part of the "machine."
Oop, editrix made an Elizabeth Warren post. Time to gush.
Jug-r-naut?
A choice between Brown and Warren, in addition to intelligence, common sense, concern for people over corporations, I'll choose Jug-r every time.
Brown? Naut!
I propose “Choose People over Corporations” be this year’s Democratic Party bumper sticker. Catchy and to the point. Excellent.
"Menschen über Konzerne" has a nice ring to it.
"Great minds…." ?
He forgot to mention that Elizabeth Warren seeks to LindseyLohanize our Young Conservative Christian schoolgirls. This CANNOT come to stand!!!
I'm looking forward to rule by our rich, elite, celebrity overlords. I'm sure they are a helluva lot more fun that the right wing uptight crazy Jeebus overlords or the elitist corporate welfare hoarding billionaire overlords.
"Far Left Juggernaut"
Is that like the Juggalos, but with more Communist songs and instead of a clown theme, they are all dressed like Saul Alinsky?
Yeah, Scott, that Occupy Wall Street Crowd, so well-known for using its amassed wealth to influence public policy. Could you do something about your Republican cronies who persist in trying to characterize them as a bunch of deadbeats?
You have to have the brains of a cold turd to think that in Massachusetts the title of "Professor" is an epithet.
Tell it to the teabaggers, Scott. They bought and paid for you in the last election, remember.
Let's do the math:
Elites=1%
Occupiers=99%
———————–
Total= 100%
Shorter Scott Brown: BOOHOOHOOEverybodyIsAgainstMe
But, but, but, I'm a MAN, money is just more *important* for me!
Maybe it's time for him to whip out his pee-pee again to get attention. Does the Senate Record have centerfolds?
it would be an awesome prank.
Far Left Juggernaut was the worst X-Men character.
Isn't there some way Scott can work a scary Rachel Maddow Lesbian Take-over into his message again?
Today, we are all far left juggernauts.
Scott Brown needs money? Did he turn down that offer from Inches magazine?
Mrs. Gorbachev, suck my Left Juggernaut!
Too soon?
"…the Far Left Juggernaut,…"
WTF??? We have a Juggernaut and no one told me? Damn.
I think a healthy dose of scepticism is probably in order, but I think you are right in that it may give a sense of trends.
Pickups are for elitist snobs. Really. I just looked into trading my old truck in on a new one, and they cost about as much as my house cost to build.
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