mind the gap

Herman Cain: Ladies Be Stupid (VIDEO!)

women be shoppin'Oh this is fun! For months the GOP has been sending special email lovenotes to Your Wonkette regarding how Romney is totally kicking Obama’s ass among Gyno-Americans, which is weird? Because Romney is actually down among women by 18, 19, or 437 percent, depending on who is doing the counting? (They have stopped sending those emails, because it was getting too pathetic even for them we guess.) But now noted ladykiller Herman Cain has Acknowledged the sad truth that the GOP is having a hard time because the womyn just will not shut their damn mouths even after the Republicans warned them! Anyway, here is how Ol’ Herb explains and dismisses the hilarious gender gap (hint: it is because women are stupid!):

But if you look at [Obama’s] policies, which is what most people disagree with, it’s a different story. And I think many men are much more familiar with the failed policies than a lot of other people, as well as the general public.

It’s true. Womyn do not understand policy on things outside caring about gas prices because they are busy driving the children to school and soccer practice. How could they understand, say, the economy, when they don’t even know how to get a job!

Anyways, here is your promised video of Herman Cain displaying the quick-thinking and wit of which we’ve all grown so fond. We particularly like when he realizes he is about to call women “stupid” and so catches himself by noting that the binary opposite of “men” is “other people.” Stupid ladies, bein’ stupid. Now bring Daddy summa that sugar!

[ThinkProgress]

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Comments

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  • OzoneTom

    Mittens just needs to slap some bitchez!

  • Blueb4sunrise

    well, DUH!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Joshua Norton

    displaying the quick-thinking and wit of which we’ve all grown so fond.

    Obviously, the pizza business pretty much runs itself.

    • Rotundo_

      Flour, water, yeast, pinch of salt. Spread out, cover with semi-edible crap and bake. Provided you keep the suppliers and utilities and rent paid, and of course, the help, that pretty much covers it. I have a feeling he didn't do too much at Godfathers except glad handing the investors and grab-assing the help.

      • Radio福井県

        His cardboard, ketchup and glue pizza is pretty stupid too.

      • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

        Don't forget to underpay, mistreat, and sexually harass the employees!

    • Terry

      If you glance through the various vanity books CEO's tend to write, you do get the impression that companies are actually run by the career managers a level or so below the CEO.

  • LiveToServeYa

    It's hard to argue with ol' Herm here, cause he's sort of an expert on stupid.

  • Barb

    Herb Cain thinks we women are all just a life support system for a pussy.

    • SorosBot

      To be fair, the pussies thing all us humans just life support systems for them, men too. (You're talking about kitties, right?)

      • HistoriCat

        Life support system AND emergency food source.

      • subsum

        Purveyors of yarn and kibble, if you ask me.

        • Barb

          Subsum, you look like you could use a a hot meal. Allow me to iron a shirt for you while we wait for the food to cook. : )

  • MissTaken

    Hehe! I tried to read this post but all the words made with letters made my brain hurt. I'm a stupid "other person". Time to go pick up my kids from soccer practice and leave the politickin' to the menfolk!

    • SorosBot

      The kids? Is there something you're not telling me, honey?

      • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

        Her insurance won't cover birth control, doncha know.

      • redarmyzombie

        Quick, when was the last time you two got aspirin?

    • PhilippePetain

      It's okay, we understand that you're otherly abled. It's not that you're stupid, it's just that you're "unfamiliar" with this thing, the economy. I'm sure if you encountered it at all, your little noggin would be able to get at least a simple-ish grasp on it.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      I'm sorry you're all a-fluster Miss Taken. Here, let me massage your various lady parts, until you're back to rights.

    • Fare la Volpe

      What a delightful thought you dear, sweet, fragile little thing.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Honeychile, if you ain't only barefoot and preggers you ain't a real 'Murican wommens. So take off them shoes and get preggers. Now.
      (This message sponsored by the Herman Cain for President Organization, Herman Cain, president and only member.)

    • Negropolis

      Poor thing! It's a wonder they allow you guys to drive, what with all of the confusing traffic laws and stop signs and traffic lights and round-abouts and such.

  • Rotundo_

    Yeppers, once womyn become aware that Mittens wants to close down Planned Parenthood and gut all assistance programs for children and the poor, I am sure there will be a thunderous change in their outlook towards mittens. Let my children and my grandchildren starve in the street or move back in with me! We need more tax cuts for the jerb creators!

  • OC_Surf_Serf

    Herman purports the 3 P's Policy: Pussy, pizza, and pussy.

    (speaking of pees…I humbly thank you all for my sparkling new buck and a quarter)

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Good thing you're not a lady person, or that would translate into a 93.

      • OC_Surf_Serf

        add in some blah and it would be 93 times 3/5 then carry the balls…

      • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

        This comment deserves many, many upfisties.

    • crybabyboehner

      When I was in college it was pizza, pot and pussy.

  • Lucidamente1

    Remember when Donald Regan said "Women aren't going to understand missile throw-weights or what's happening in Afghanistan or in human rights"? Good times.

    • Callyson

      Yeah, I read that this had something to do with how women don't understand thrusts. In fairness, though, the women who got anywhere near Donald Regan would not want to know anything about thrusting…

      • Generation[redacted]

        They just pretended not to know when he was around.

  • gullywompr

    There are three kinds of people in this world: 1) men, 2) other people, and 3) the general public, in that order.

    • Swampgas_Man

      The OPPOSITE opposite sex.

    • Fare la Volpe

      "Ladies, Gentlemen, and Otherwise!"

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      Somebody should infographic the shit out of that.

    • BTWBFDIMHO

      There are two kinds of people in the world: those who classify people in two kinds and those who don't.

      • gullywompr

        There are 10 kinds – those that understand binary, and those that don't.

        • Doktor StrangeZoom

          0100010001100001011011010110111000101100001000000110001001100101011000010111010000100000011011010110010100100000011101000110111100100000011010010111010000100001

          • gullywompr

            There's only one kind of dance: The Robot.

          • bagofmice

            ASCII, UTF8, UTF16?

          • gullywompr

            EBCDIC

    • HistoriCat

      What about corporations?

    • littlebigdaddy

      And the blahs.

  • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

    "Where the white other people at?"

    • gullywompr

      The Other White Meat.

    • Doktor StrangeZoom

      I love that classic Carole King song, "You Make Me Feel Like a Natural General Population Member"

      • George Spelvin

        Man, that other person could sure write some tunes.

  • Callyson

    Bitch set him up.

  • PuckStopsHere

    The results of that second poll make me if not ashamed, uncomfortable at least, to be a man. I'd feel better if I could get a little certiorari, though.

  • SayItWithWookies

    So is that what Sartre meant when he said "Hell is other people?" Probably if you're Mitt Romney.

    • crybabyboehner

      I believe the full quote was, "Hell is other people who sing Jimmy Buffett songs at the beach bar next to your hotel."

  • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya
  • MissTaken

    Not only does he tell us women we're stupid, but then he expects us to suck his dick. Gotta give it to him, the man has balls.

    • SorosBot

      Balls that could use a good kickin'. I'm just sayin'.

      • Boojum

        Takes a kicking, to stop his licking. Or something.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      He said nothing about salad days. But he was thinkin' it!

      • bagofmice

        What a tosser!

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      Not as big as Hopey's.

    • An_Outhouse

      In Wisconsin, that dick sucking now comes with lower pay, unless you're a dude, then you get full price.

    • Redhead

      "but then he expects us to suck his dick. "

      With LOTS of teeth, I'm thinking.

    • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

      Sucking Herm's dick is evidence of stupidity.

  • Radio福井県

    Hermann Cain is a slut.

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    Please, Herman, don't try to be politically correct and hold back – tell us how you _really_ feel…

  • iburl

    You want a job, right?

  • elfgoldsackring

    Wait till they see the purty Mormon burqas they'll get to wear! That'll win those ladies over!

    • Fare la Volpe

      Available in black, dark grey, crow feather, heather, and charcoal!

      What choices!

  • anniegetyerfun

    God, this fucking fuck.

    • SexySmurf

      Sounds like someone is on their period.

      • anniegetyerfun

        Pregnant; same difference, I suppose.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          Congratulations! (I think!)

          • anniegetyerfun

            Thanks. So far, so good, except for the whole no-drinking thing. I really miss drinking.

          • Lascauxcaveman

            Oh, that's right. I think that may be why Mrs. Caveman and I never got around to having that third kid. Those, tall, frosty, Lime-heavy G'n'Ts I make for her every night were just too good to set down for a year or more.

            Still, it's worth it to have kids that aren't r3t@rded. Once Annie Jr. is done nursing, you can go back to your lushly ways.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    You people with your vaginas and shit, wanting equal pay and respect and such. The nerve!!!

  • Radio福井県

    It's his 69,69,69 plan!

    • Bonzos_Bed_Time

      It's rumored he has 99 problems.

      • bagofmice

        And a yin yang ain't one.

  • Schmannnity

    Obviously men are smarter. Who could doubt that after listening to Herm's explanation of the Obama policy on Libya and, of course, Uzbeckybeckybeccyetceterastan

  • Wile E. Quixote

    Hey, Herman's just following John Derbyshire's rules. He's a Republican shill at Fox News, which means that he's avoiding concentrations of blah people and is unlikely to have to leave due to a sudden increase in the number of blah people.

  • Schmannnity

    I would find this much more believable if he were chain smoking.

  • elfgoldsackring

    It all equals out though, cos ladies only get 3/5 of a vote, divided by the total number of sister-wives.

  • SorosBot

    Remember when failed presidential also-rans, particularly primary washouts, used to slink into the background after an embarrassing loss and drop off the national radar? Man I miss those times.

    • Schmannnity

      Like George Romney?

    • sullivanst

      Like Richard Nixon?

      • Lascauxcaveman

        You may have a point, whether or not you were serious about it.

        Do you think Nixon would ever had a chance at his 1968 comeback if he'd been making a public ass of himself 24/7 from '61 to '67?

        That seems to be the default mode of Republican also-rans nowadays.

    • fuflans

      i was just thinking of that reagan era gaffe (i think reagan era? somebody in the cabinet? weinberger maybe?) about 'women' and 'nuclear throw weights' and 'not interested'.

      and the republicans have just gotten worse. much much worse.

  • SexySmurf

    Strangely, I liked Herman better when he was torturing small animals.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    "Hell, women ain't that smart — my wife hasn't even left me!"

    • anniegetyerfun

      This is a 100% valid point, though.

    • Geminisunmars

      Oh, I don't know. Mrs. Cain looked like she had worked out a pretty sweet deal for herself. After all, that is all any of us wommins really want. That sweet sweet support money.

    • proudgrampa

      "Who was that lady I saw you with last night?"
      "That wasn't no lady, that was my wife!"

  • sullivanst

    Herman Cain to Women: Know Your Limits!

  • Fluffy_Kitties

    That was just like in an action flick, where the White dude's best bro, who just happens to be Black, has a heart-to-heart talk with the dude's girl friend, who is starting to get cold feet about shacking up with a wise-ass who's always talking smack to her face.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    grls r dum.

    • iburl

      Grassley?

  • dogscantlookup

    'oh, shucky ducky'

  • rickmaci

    How is this thought for producing some Don Draperesq fevered nightmares: these guys could still win.

    • Geminisunmars

      I could strangle you and shove you under the bed for saying that.

      • rickmaci

        Have a drink instead.

        • Geminisunmars

          Yes. That is the correct response. To all disturbances. I forgot.

  • CivicHoliday

    Who knew – he takes policy advice from 1992 TeenTalk Barbie

  • Slim_Pickins

    Men are better informed than "the general public." I'd like to see the data on that!

    • Nostrildamus

      Your need for data shows you are not well informed.

    • Beowoof

      Ah the republican formula, opinion first and then look for data to support your opinion. If none exists, make that shit up.

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      Here's your data… MY DICK! ~in my wisest-sounding Dice Clay affectation.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Once again, my sympathies to Herman's wife.

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      She wanted a job, as a wife, didn't she?

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Oh Herman, please get back into the race. Mittens is just not funny like you.

    • Radio福井県

      Now that it's pretty much down to Mitts, we are going to have to dig deeper or bust through a wall of comedy/snark to keep the pace at which we are accustomed. This may be Wonkettedoms finest hour.

      • NellCote71

        Agreed on that. Only Newt is left standing, or lying, for comedic relief. And Grandpa Ron.

  • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Deportably_Jose

    OT, but apparently George Zimmerman has stopped talking to his lawyers, and is instead talking only to Sean Hannity, to the point where said lawyers have announced that they're no longer representing him. Oh, also, because of "stress", he's fled the state, but his former lawyers swear he's in an undisclosed location somewhere in the country.

    Now, I may just be a Simple Country Hyper-Chicken, but I don't think there's such a thing as Hannity-wingnut privilege. Also, I think fleeing the jurisdiction while under investigation is considered, at best, to be poor form.

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      You'd think he'd stand his ground.

      I guess he's just a pansy now that that they confiscated his gun.

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      Is this how one of them Insanity Pleas starts, or was this Hannity's idea of a joke that Zimmerman isn't in on?

    • Negropolis

      You want to know what I'm worried about? His lawyers are saying he's under incredible stress and emotionally fragile, and I just want to know if this man was given his gun back. Because, if they don't know where he is, but know that he's holed up somewhere, things could go very wrong very quickly.

      It's why it's so crazy that this guy wasn't arrested sooner. Every day he's left on the streets makes this whole situation more explosive for everyone involved.

      • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

        Mommy, why is that hippie commune flying a Nazi flag?

      • McDonnellville

        No shit. I see certain patterns emerging from this story that indicate to me that this is not going to end well. I hope that I'm wrong. Zim does seem to have people who are justifying his actions (like his father) who are in denial about the possibility that he may have a major mental illness that led to the homicide of Trayvon. If he didn't even listen to the dispatcher who told him to stop following the kid, that's a major warning sign right there of mental instability.

        • finallyhappy

          so my hope here is that he only offs himself and doesn't get another gun and kill others. I am not amazed that in our country, you can be the most mentally ill person- but you and your family will not seek treatment. It is better to be a killer, abuser, drug addict or drunk(or any combination) than to get mental health assistance. Of course, it is also horribly expensive but even people who can afford it often don't go(current/former GOP candidates and families/Fox new employees).

  • Inchhigh

    Herman who?

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    What's that? He said women are stah?

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      They are beginning to specialize in half words.

    • NellCote71

      So women of color are stah blahs or blah stahs?

      • Boojum

        Stah blah sluh bihs.

  • fartknocker

    Herman must get all of his guidance from the stock photo women in his "Women for Herman Cain" website. The Napolean of Pizza needs to learn that his opinion is no longer relevant to voters. And the women in the Fartknocker home have a strong hatred for this man.

  • Doktor StrangeZoom

    "Stupid people are ruining America"

    –Herman Cain, Fall 2011, shortly before the fatal explosion of the American Irony Institute

  • rocktonsam

    "Iron my shirts and get me a god damn beer."

    -Herbert Cain

  • http://www.udargo.com MaxUdargo

    You know, it took me a little while, but by the time I was in my late 20s I had figured out that once you've said the wrong thing to a woman, there's no way to walk it back. You're just going to dig that hole deeper and deeper if you try. Just shut up, retreat, and go find a flower shop.

    The Republican Party still hasn't figured this out. They just keep digging.

    • rocktonsam

      "Or Tiffany's"

      -Newt

  • An_Outhouse

    Where's SkoalRebel when there's a post crafted just for him?

  • Aridzona

    Sperman Herman strikes again.

  • Beowoof

    I am surprised that the Cain Mutiny hasn't happened at Herm's house.

  • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

    I don't have time to study politics. I'm to busy having so much sex I can't afford the birth control, and then gettin' abortions.

  • Antispandex

    Well, it's true. Men make up very little, if any, of the "general public". We are dumb that way. What with all of our map reading skills, we still can't find it. Sad.

    • George Spelvin

      And you know we aren't gonna ask for directions.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    Cain am Able to answer the lady-question.

    Now what's for lynch?

  • BlueStateLibel

    Oh hush, everyone knows that the most effective tactic to get people to vote for you is calling them stupid. I will definitely vote for Rmoney now!

  • fuflans

    someday we will look back on the republican field of 2012 and laugh.

    but not today.

  • mavenmaven

    The funny thing is that in this video, Herman Cain was actually talking about Libya.

    • comrad_darkness

      Did he call it Lib Lib Lib E Ya Ya Ya because then we'd know he was taking it seriously.

      • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

        Mmm, yes, IF it was preceded by a 3 minute silence while staring at the ceiling.

      • bagofmice

        Libya libya Libya dot nakedchicks dot com.
        /boomhaur.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Thanks for setting me straight. I could have sworn that he was talking about labia.

  • IceCreamEmpress

    Herman Cain has a wah problem. Not just with wah wah, but with wah of all colors. All the colors of the wah, to quote Pocahontas, a noted wah herself.

  • I_P

    Bitches? Meet Herman. Herman? Bitches.

  • comrad_darkness

    I would just like to post this for the record that Romney is going to pick McCain as his VP.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      Heh…let's fill our campaign of failure with a heapin' helpin' of failure from the 2008 election. What could go wrong?

      • IceCreamEmpress

        Failure in a sadness bowl, what could be more American?

        • DahBoner

          McCain could handle all the diner campaign stops, because he's old…

          • Dashboard Buddha

            Only as long as he's in time for the Early Bird special.

    • Radio福井県

      KEATING LIBEL!

  • FakaktaSouth

    These other people are so stupid, always getting their heads stuck under the steering wheel when I am trying to create a job for them. Why does the general public keep putting its head in Herm's lap? So stupid.

  • greenide1

    Git me a sammich, Hank's wife!

  • OneYieldRegular

    If there are any Godfather's employees out there contemplating filing a gender discrimination suit, their chances of obtaining a decent settlement just went way up.

  • orygoon

    The Heir went to a very nice middle-tier liberal arts college. A friend of ours looked at the college with her daughter. They assign a prospective student a buddy and she/he sleeps overnight in a dorm. This girl was with a sorority girl in a sorority dorm–the dorm with this highest average GPA on the campus. I asked The Heir if he knew why. He did. Girls get higher grades. (Also, at graduation, more of them graduate with honors–anyway, in my experience.)

    Herman Cain or another troglodyte might say profs hand out better grades to the sweet young things–but it seems to me that an awful lot of the profs at that college were also of the supposedly non-bright gender, so I'm not havin' that.

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      Seriously, as a man, I'm starting to wonder what the fuck we're good for.

      And this thought recurs to me every time I hear a bunch of my state's or my country's male politicians bloviate on horseshit for hours to see who can pee the furthest. Why aren't there more ladies in the gov't? Is it because if they ran off to run the country, the Real Nightmare of them not being around to run the nation's families start to set in? Or what? I don't get it.

      And maybe it would be Just As Bad if women, as a percentage of the population, were proportionally represented in leadership. But I doubt it.

      • Geminisunmars

        I'm sorry, but us wimmins have reached true equality lately, in one respect. Wimmin politicians seem just as capable of being full of shit as the menfolks are. I'm sure I don't have to make a list for you.

        • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

          New Rule: All female pols have to be like Hillary.

          But seriously, I still can't forget the study I heard about on NPR (can't find a link) where all men are still just trying to impress the ladies with their penises when they're on a committee or talking on the House floor, and so they act like idiots. I think Lady Idiot is better than Dude Idiot, and I still don't get where all the ladies are at when there are more of you in the general population. Maybe you're just too smart to go into gov't.

          • HistoriCat

            Needs more Barbara Jordan.

          • James Michael Curley

            Will be remembered through history for many firsts. For me it will be the electrifying " I am not going to sit here and be an idle spectator to the diminution, the subversion, the destruction, of the Constitution." I think it is the turning point at which the House Judiciary Committee discovered the balls to vote the articles of impeachment.

          • sullivanst

            I think Lady Idiot is better than Dude Idiot, and I still don't get where all the ladies are at when there are more of you in the general population.

            In other words, "I see your Michele Bachmann, and raise you a Steve King"

            or

            "I see your Virginia Foxx and raise you a Louis Gohmert"

            I could go on, but not for long, on account of there being scandalously few women in Congress, and some of them are Nancy Pelosi and Kirsten Gillibrand.

          • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

            Yes, exactly what I was getting at. And, maybe if there were 50% ladies in leadership, I'd change my tune to "Who give's a shit, they're all insane." But until then, I wonder "Where the ladies at?"

  • Negropolis

    I'm really, really, really hoping these guys keep this up now that Santorum is out of the race. It's going to be quite a show watching Mitt either trying to put out these little fires, everywhere, or adding fuel to them to keep the party base happy.

    The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire…

    • http://littlegreenfootballs.com/article/39308_Breitbarts_Fans_Spew_Racism_Call_for_President_Obama_t glamourdammerung

      It's going to be quite a show watching Mitt either trying to put out these little fires, everywhere, or adding fuel to them to keep the party base happy.

      Or both.

    • FakaktaSouth

      This was pretty much my assessment for poor Mittens. He has some pissed off conservative Christians to coddle, and the message to them is not going to be the one that fixes the WAR ON WOMEN (or Caterpillars) or helps him with mods and what helps center him with the independents brings out the etch a sketch for the pissed off conservatives. It's going to be so fun to watch his head pop off. Maybe they'll just blow it up and release all the videos of him saying everything and hope the right people see him saying the right thing at the right time.

      • Radio福井県

        "The War on Women" is polygamy. And Trayvon Martin couldn't be a Mormon until '78.

      • Wile E. Quixote

        Yeah, I'm hoping to see an evangelical versus Mormons holy war start this year, and Mitt "Say Anything" Romney, the man who has changed positions more often than a porn star, is the perfect guy to start it. If the holy war does start my money is on the Mormons, they're better disciplined, harder working and more intelligent than the evangelicals are. I mean when was the last time you saw some fat bastard of an evangelical out riding a bicycle while wearing a shirt and tie in 90 degree weather to spread the word?

      • James Michael Curley

        Romney pulled the plug on the conservative base that voted for him in the primaries a couple hours after Santorum's announcement. Last night the Mittbot was in Chester County PA addressing the Republican County Committee organization wearing a dark blue suit and powder blue tie. No jeans, no common man, no attempt at being one of the people. Chester County Republicans own $1 to $3 million dollar homes but are first in line for the PA mortgage abatement program after Corbett removed the income restrictions. He is going full tilt 'Fat Cat' and plans to win the election with massive ad buys.

    • ElPinche

      And the party hasn't even started yet. I'll start up the popcorn.

    • Wile E. Quixote

      Are these little fires caused by burning Santorum?

      • HistoriCat

        Ouch. If your Santorum is burning, definitely consult a physician.

  • Sassomatic

    Mitt Romney is just going to promise America's women a new dress and a fancy dinner and they'll forget all about those terrible things he said.

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      Baby, you know how The Herm gets after a long day at work. The Herm was just talkin'. Now, about that job you wanted…

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

    I was under the impression that the Pope was going to appoint Santorum president? Now who's he gonna pick?

  • Negropolis

    It seems the Republican Party has two responses to the claim that the already wide gulf in support of women for the two parties has become a canyon. The first is a defensive denial that includes totally denying that there is a problem, and then also making inept analogies (i.e. "caterpillars"). The second response is a reflexive lashing out at the group whom they have electoral problems with, like some dude who gets rejected by some girl, and then convinces himself that she was defective in some way, anyway. It's really kind of sad to watch.

    If they want to make "There is no War on Women" the ""There is no Soviet domination of Eastern Europe…" of my generation, so be it. I won't stop them.

    • Wile E. Quixote

      The second response is a reflexive lashing out at the group whom they have electoral problems with, like some dude who gets rejected by some girl, and then convinces himself that she was defective in some way, anyway. It's really kind of sad to watch.

      Holy shit dude! That is a totally fucking brilliant analysis. Seriously, the Republicans are like the asshole guy who hits on women and when they don't immediately want to hop into bed with him get angry and start talking about "Those fucking bitches." I wouldn't say it's sad to watch though, except for the women who have to put up with it, guys who behave that way deserve a beat-down. You might not be able to make them stop with a beating but you can at least make them suffer.

      I wish that I could figure out the semiotics of how you'd turn that into a campaign commercial.

      • Negropolis

        The entire time I've been watching the GOP primaries, I've been running back in my head a skit on Family Guy where Peter Griffin goes to a fashion show to hit on the models coming down the runway. Whenever they reach the end and make their turn as they are wont to do to avoid falling off the stage, he says things like "Oh, you have mosquito-bite boobs, anyways" and "You know what? You're a bitch." This party is totally clueless and with skin as thin as paper.

    • Boojum

      By "caterpillars", they meant "landing strip".

    • James Michael Curley

      Caterpillars become pretty butterflies after they get locked away for a few months.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Wonderfully off topic.
    Have you see the wind map? You get a hint if you've ever animated a satellite water vapor weather loop .

    Viégas and Wattenberg note in their disclaimer underneath the map: “The wind map is a personal art project, not associated with any company.”

    Anyway, non-linearity sorta rules.
    http://hint.fm/wind/

    via TPM

    • Radio福井県

      You libtard. Obvsly, Chicago Politics is the Windy Shitty.

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      Whoa. I'm either having a flashback, or America needs a shave. Cool.

    • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

      I like it.

    • sullivanst

      From that windmap, it looks to me like it's going to be a starry night.

    • James Michael Curley

      Doesn't bode well for Princess Brewer with the Chinook up. AZ already has had a couple years of drier than usual spring and summer.

  • ElPinche

    Fox Bimbo: "What does all that add up to to you?"
    Cain: "34D, baby cakes. "

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    Dr Pepper 10 is NOT for YOU!

    • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

      Apparently, as the commercial would suggest, Dr. Pepper 10 is for closeted gay men. (rhymes even!)

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    I can fucking vote now ?!!! Holy shit, this changes everything.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    This is kind of funny:
    "Republican presidential candidate Newt Gingrich may not appear on the ballot for the June 26 Utah primary, after a $500 check – the required filing fee – bounced, an official said." http://news.yahoo.com/newt-gingrich-utah-primary-

    • Wile E. Quixote

      That fucking sack of shit. Yeah, this is a guy who can't even take care of minor details like what the requirements are to file for a primary but who is somehow going to balance the budget, revitalize American civilization and lead a successful effort to build an American base on the Moon in the next eight years. He's a fucking con man, why isn't this obvious to everyone? Why does this disgusting, fat, transparently insincere, blobby bastard of a con-man have any support whatsoever?

  • Wile E. Quixote

    Does Herman Cain have to choke a bitch?

  • Wile E. Quixote

    Not particularly on topic but in honor of the centennial of the Titanic sailing on it's maiden voyage (where by "maiden" I actually mean "ILL-FATED DEATH TRIP TO THE DEPTHS OF THE FRIGID NORTH ATLANTIC OCEAN") I'm trying to write a theme song about the voyage of the Titanic set to the music of the Gilligan's Island theme. I was thinking of using the music from the Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald instead (a song which will clear out a party faster than a police raid) but I want something peppier and more upbeat.

    • C_R_Eature
    • James Michael Curley

      Stoke those furnace boilers,
      Head out on the ocean,
      Looking for New York's port,
      Throbbing harmonic motion

  • BTWBFDIMHO

    You fight the War on Women with the men you have, not the men you wish to have.

  • C_R_Eature

    I'm willing to bet that one day Mrs Cain will go all Dolores Claiborne on Herman's ass. No charges will be filed. Against her.

    • James Michael Curley

      A little Annie Wilks first. "I might put bullets in it."

      • C_R_Eature

        I like it.
        And, Another Wonketteer mentions Lorena Bobbitt in 3…2…1…

  • Negropolis

    I've had some more time to think about this Mr. Cain, and this is all I have left to say:

    I does not care, Mr. Cain; I simply does not care.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    My cute neighbor Sarah.

  • DahBoner

    According to the Brazilian Girls (who aren't either), the four most important things in life are "pussy, pussy, pussy, marijuana"….

  • http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com gurukalehuru

    Other person is the near of the world – John Lennon

  • proudgrampa

    Some of my best friends are the women.

  • ttommyunger

    Sorry, 'Merika, it ain't just our favorite blowjob-forcing pizza maggot (yes, I know how to spell magnate) who thinks this way. Wifey was told she could not second a motion in our church business meeting-LAST WEEK, 'cause of her lady-part situation. Needless to say she was pissed. She took home more in commissions last month than the Church has on hand; so she is more than a little pissed. Prolly will make a change. I care not, other than thinking it's funny, in a sick sort of way. My only interest in attending is to support her, anyway, so fuck'em.

    • proudgrampa

      Tommy, that is unbelievable. As low as church attendance is these days, you would think that the leadership wouldn't want to alienate HALF the congregation…

      • ttommyunger

        The Preacher quoted Paul, as I knew he would. These attitudes, like others, will just have to change generationally, over time…..lots of time. It is sad, though, if you think about it. I try not to.

  • gout

    Herman Cain stole my bicycle.

  • Fare la Volpe

    Well bitchtits. Great minds, etc.