HARD OUT HERE FOR A PIMP  3:59 pm April 10, 2012

WONKETTE EXCLUSIVE! James O’Keefe Depos: Breitbart Paid Pimp, Ho Mad Cheddar For ACORN Videos

by Matthew Phelan and Liz Farkas

And yet you are still poor

WONKET EXCLUSIVE! MUST CREDIT WONKETTE!!1! Very independent citizen-journalist James O’Keefe and his equally self-funded co-star in the ACORN stings, Hannah Giles, got real paid shortly after finishing their videos in the early fall of 2009, according to depositions taken three weeks ago. The pair admitted under oath to signing contracts with (the now recently deceased) Andrew Breitbart and his business partner, attorney Larry Solov, for the sum total of $120,000. Pretty shocking, right? You could buy a fairly high-end sex boat with that kind of cash. Or, one could, anyway.

The depositions were taken this past March at the Washington, D.C. offices of Planet Depos — a third-party supplier of certified court reporters and legal videographers that is really, actually named that, which is totally great. The depositions were taken as part of an ongoing lawsuit filed by Juan Carlos Vera, a former ACORN employee secretly recorded by O’Keefe and Giles during their sting at the community organizing group’s San Diego offices. (Recording confidential conversations without the consent of all parties is a violation of section 632 of the California penal code.)

Studious observers of the ACORN video controversies may recall that Vera was the ACORN employee who called local police to report on James O’Keefe’s and Hannah Giles’ pimp/boyfriend and prostitute characters just hours after speaking with them. Really abnormally obsessive observers might also recall that the full transcript of the hidden-camera video concludes with O’Keefe and Giles debating with each other over why exactly Vera is photographing their license plate from across the parking lot. The two would ultimately tell the media that Vera had agreed to help them smuggle underage prostitutes through Tijuana and that he wanted to solicit the services of Giles’ prostitute character.

According to his recent testimony, O’Keefe ultimately received $65,000 for his “life rights” from Breitbart in $5000/month installments from September 2009 until September 2010 (terminating roughly around the time that O’Keefe’s failed sex boating of a CNN reporter started to make headlines). Giles, who testified the day after O’Keefe, was also supposed to receive $60,000 per year (or $5,000 per month) but was only compensated $32,000 over the course of ten months from December 2009 to September 2010. Breitbart had reduced her monthly salary to $3,000 beginning around April 2010 and terminated Giles that summer. (There may be a Lily Ledbetter Act lawsuit in Ms. Giles’s future.)

“Ms. Giles described the cause as ‘a conflict of visions,’” Vera’s attorney Gene Iredale said during a phone interview. Sources close to O’Keefe told us that Breitbart had been upset with him for similar reasons, as O’Keefe primarily spent his salaried year with Breitbart giving paid lectures, producing a Census sting that failed to garner media attention, and getting himself arrested in New Orleans.

The new details brought out by the recent depositions have done much to complicate the carefully crafted public narrative of the videos’ development. Breitbart and several others had been involved in the planning stages beginning in July 2009, following a period wherein O’Keefe and Giles had shopped around their East Coast ACORN videos basically like a pilot. “They discussed ACORN during their [Breitbart and O’Keefe’s] first phone conversation,” Iredale tells us. “Andrew Breitbart knew about Mr. O’Keefe’s plans before the West Coast videos were made, and he was aware they were recording people without their knowledge or consent.” During his deposition, O’Keefe refused to provide any details from those early discussions that did not directly pertain to the making of the San Diego video, as per the instruction of his attorney, Mike Madigan.

Aside from Breitbart, O’Keefe and Giles enlisted several of their friends in crafting the “prostitute with a law student boyfriend /aspiring pimp” narrative that they used in all the ACORN offices they visited. O’Keefe consulted among others Ben Wetmore, his mentor since Rutgers and former boss at the conservative Leadership Institute. Wetmore is probably best known for authoring the “CNN Caper” document, the itemized action plan and script for O’Keefe’s failed plot to lure CNN’s Abbie Boudreau onto his sailboat for a “comical faux seduction.” Stan Dai—who was arrested (and later convicted) with O’Keefe and two other men during the botched attempt to investigate Louisiana Senator Mary Landrieu—proposed the idea of including the concept of housing underage prostitutes in the ACORN sting. Rounding out the cast of would be co-conspirators: Queenie Bui, a Vietnamese American friend of Hannah Giles, who helped host a planning meeting; Anthony Pombal, who was to play the pimp but dropped out due to work obligations; Roger Masi, a college friend of O’Keefe’s who was also scheduled to play the pimp, but had to drop out because he made Hannah Giles uncomfortable; and Rachel Coolidge, who was to play a second prostitute in the original plan, but ultimately could not afford the plane tickets. Anthony Dini, an aspiring singer-songwriter and hometown friend of O’Keefe’s, provided his original song “Ridiculous,” which can be heard during the opening and closing sequences of all the ACORN videos.

You can buy “Ridiculous,” the title track off Dini’s album, from iTunes here.

Normally, Matthew Phelan has been a science journalist, a cartoonist and a writer of fake news headlines. His work has appeared in Current Science, Hacker Monthly, The Onion and Chemical Engineering magazine.

Liz Farkas currently performs due diligence research for a white-collar private investigation firm in New York. She has previously contributed to The Rutgers Centurion, a monthly journal of conservative thought at Rutgers University co-founded by James O’Keefe.

 
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{ 212 comments }

nounverb911 April 10, 2012 at 4:01 pm

So that makes O'Keefe a… a… a… prostitute?

Callyson April 10, 2012 at 4:13 pm

SLUT LIBEL!!!

Fare la Volpe April 10, 2012 at 4:15 pm

No way. Prostitutes work for a living.

actor212 April 10, 2012 at 4:19 pm

A whore. He came cheap

nmmagyar April 10, 2012 at 4:43 pm

60K???? I'd hate to see how much a good whore would run

sullivanst April 10, 2012 at 4:47 pm

Works out at less than $10/hour.

actor212 April 10, 2012 at 4:51 pm

And with exclusivity.

Barb April 10, 2012 at 4:02 pm

O'Qeefe's next trick is that he walked into a Five Guys Burger joint and was assigned the customer #62 and when the counter worker called for #57, he totally took the hamburger that didn't belong to him, proving hamburger fraud.

Radio福井県 April 10, 2012 at 4:13 pm

He also will bring up that there are only four guys working. Srsly, WTF? BURGER LIBEL!

actor212 April 10, 2012 at 4:19 pm

So it's owned by the New Black Panthers?

mayor_quimby April 11, 2012 at 5:21 am

Originally, it was called '5 Niggaz With Beef'
(strangely android knows how to spell Niggaz, racist ass tablet)

Barb April 10, 2012 at 4:23 pm

Radio, we should have to show photo ID to get our hamburgers.

BaldarTFlagass April 10, 2012 at 4:49 pm

He always struck me as more of an In'N'Out kinda guy.

BerkeleyBear April 10, 2012 at 5:07 pm

DOUBLE DOUBLE (ANIMAL STYLE) LIBEL!

I_P April 10, 2012 at 9:24 pm

Oh Barb, if I could heart you I would. +1

Barb April 10, 2012 at 9:59 pm

Thanks I_P!

Fare la Volpe April 10, 2012 at 4:03 pm

Mo money mo problems, and it couldn't happen to a nicer 'mo.

Generation[redacted] April 10, 2012 at 4:10 pm

Mo work and mo play make mo a mo mo.

anniegetyerfun April 10, 2012 at 4:15 pm

Mo!

Swampgas_Man April 10, 2012 at 4:28 pm

Mo Ron!

Baconzgood April 10, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Mo you didn't…Don't mo there girlfriend!

nounverb911 April 10, 2012 at 4:03 pm

Nice artwork, can I get it framed?

jqheywood April 10, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Maybe have it stylized a la "the painter of light"..

Steverino247 April 10, 2012 at 4:37 pm

These shitbirds framed themselves.

SorosBot April 10, 2012 at 4:05 pm

This makes me wish I didn't have principles, 'cause I could play a good right-wing hack and then maybe I'd have a shitload of money instead of being broke. Damned conscience.

Ruhe April 10, 2012 at 4:28 pm

I too wish I had the balls to pursue the "mad cheddar" but I'm just a wimpy working class liberal with too much education and no guts. Young GOP brown shirts have cracked the code: America is about winning and if you aren't willing to fuck or be fucked for money then you're losing.

HobbesEvilTwin April 10, 2012 at 4:06 pm

Breitbart libel!

mayor_quimby April 10, 2012 at 4:07 pm

We're gonna need a bigger headline font than this one, Zimmerman is supposed to be giving a presser at 4.30 or so, The Twitter told me so,

actor212 April 10, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Turns out, he didn't show up and his attorneys quit the case.

UPDATE: They were mad at the Zim because he contacted the special prosecutor against their advice.

This guy is toast.

McDonnellville April 10, 2012 at 5:22 pm

He definitely seems determined to do everything wrong in his own defense.

Or maybe he's just fucking nuts.

Biff April 10, 2012 at 5:38 pm

He wants us to think he's nuts, imho.

IceCreamEmpress April 10, 2012 at 5:39 pm

Yes, who would have thought that someone who devoted his life to ridding his neighborhood of blah teenagers with candy and soft drinks would be so stupid?

Biel_ze_Bubba April 11, 2012 at 2:03 am

I hear he's going to rely on Hannity for advice, since Hannity is defending him for free. What could possibly go wrong?

mayor_quimby April 11, 2012 at 5:15 am

Fucking witter!
Literally 2 mins after i posted this, twitter was like j/k we meant his attorneys.
Thanks a lot random assholes starting with @ signs, whom i trusted.
(i need to teach this android to spell, it substituted ashes for assholes, stupid computer.)f

YasserArraFeck April 10, 2012 at 4:07 pm

Ms Giles looks "tappable" – and I hear she has money!

actor212 April 10, 2012 at 4:50 pm

$32,000

You could steal more rolling drunks at the RNC convention this summer.

YasserArraFeck April 10, 2012 at 4:58 pm

Who says I can't do both?

actor212 April 10, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Her dad is "Pastor" Doug Giles. You won't get the chance.

larrykat April 10, 2012 at 5:20 pm

And this funny tidbit from his "church's" website:

"Clash Church is located inside the Residence Inn.
19900 W Country Club Dr, Aventura, FL 33180 "

YasserArraFeck April 10, 2012 at 5:31 pm

Yeah, Daddy Giles looks like a bit of a bad-ass – I think I'll just admire Ms. Giles from afar

Inchhigh April 10, 2012 at 5:37 pm

Tappable if you put a bag over her brain

I_P April 10, 2012 at 9:25 pm

As in Jake? eeeeiiiiiwwww…

Radio福井県 April 10, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Giles got paid to be a prostitute.

actor212 April 10, 2012 at 4:41 pm

SLATTERN SLANDER!

Jukesgrrl April 10, 2012 at 5:32 pm

So did O'Keefe.

Biel_ze_Bubba April 11, 2012 at 12:48 am

Makes you wonder what it takes to make her "uncomfortable", doesn't it? That Roger Masi must be some piece of work.

Limeylizzie April 10, 2012 at 4:08 pm

That is so complicated, but it means that O'Keefe, Giles and ,especially, Breitbart are/were still a bunch of dozy cunts, right?

anniegetyerfun April 10, 2012 at 4:16 pm

That fact has never changed, and never will.

niblick77 April 10, 2012 at 4:17 pm

I think Steve spells it Doocy.

Steverino247 April 10, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Breitbart's status is still permanently dozy.

Tundra Grifter April 10, 2012 at 5:30 pm

Mares eat oats,
And does eat oats,
And little lambs eat ivy…

Jukesgrrl April 10, 2012 at 5:33 pm

Zombie Dozy.

Angry_Marmot April 10, 2012 at 10:17 pm

Cozy dunce?

mavenmaven April 10, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Get me my blackboard. Breitbart and Solov were really paid agents of Obama who were hired to make innocent Republicans look stupid and bad by hiring O'Keefe and his friends. Then, Obama killed Breitbart to keep this counterintelligence secret. It all makes sense now.

Jukesgrrl April 10, 2012 at 5:33 pm

Very good. You must be reading the trolls over at HuffyPo.

Judith_Priest April 10, 2012 at 11:00 pm

Wow! You're good!

Callyson April 10, 2012 at 4:09 pm

And, of course, the chick gets paid much less than the dude…

Assholes.

BaldarTFlagass April 10, 2012 at 4:22 pm

On Wisconsin!

GOPCrusher April 10, 2012 at 4:50 pm

And 10 % goes to the house.

Respitetini April 10, 2012 at 4:54 pm

This is a right-wing smear campaign. How are they supposed to be true to the cause if they don't pay the dude twice as much as the chick?

Judith_Priest April 10, 2012 at 11:01 pm

Well, as we all know, money isn't all that important to women ….

Biel_ze_Bubba April 11, 2012 at 12:51 am

Is that you, Newt?

Goonemeritus April 10, 2012 at 4:10 pm

Would this revelation provide ecclesiastical dispensation to potentially say something untoward about someone who was recently departed?

Judith_Priest April 10, 2012 at 11:02 pm

It would be awesome if they just sing like little finches and pin it all on the Deceased Breitbart.

Since he paid for it and engineered it, it pretty much IS his fault.

OneYieldRegular April 10, 2012 at 4:10 pm

And they still couldn't manage to come up with a film as good as "Beast of Yucca Flats."

Generation[redacted] April 10, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Wonkette provides the riff trax?

GOPCrusher April 10, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Or "Ishtar"

Jukesgrrl April 10, 2012 at 5:37 pm

Or a Capital One commercial.

What's in O'Keefe's wallet? (Besides IOUs and subpoenas.)

McDonnellville April 10, 2012 at 6:25 pm

A condom that expired in 2007?

Biel_ze_Bubba April 11, 2012 at 12:53 am

Those dates are totally bogus. O'Keefe used it again in 2008 and it still worked just fine.

Biff April 10, 2012 at 5:46 pm

I can see Russia Yucca Flats from my house!

el_donaldo April 10, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Has that artist actually seen O'Keefe. Dude is much uglier than the illustration, which looks much more like Breitbart was paying James Dean for certain favors.

Inchhigh April 10, 2012 at 5:22 pm

Art courtesy of dead Thomas Kincade.

Jukesgrrl April 10, 2012 at 5:38 pm

The mouth isn't nearly petulant enough.

IceCreamEmpress April 10, 2012 at 8:59 pm

On the one hand it's way too flattering to O'Queef. On the other hand, it looks like Joe Pesci in a Jack Kerouac wig, which for some reason has made my day.

Judith_Priest April 10, 2012 at 11:04 pm

Find the YouTube where O'Queefe thinks he's Michael Jackson. Priceless.

The chubby arrhythmic bovine sorority girls dancing in the vid are a nice touch, too.

LetUsBray April 10, 2012 at 4:11 pm

When you say this news "complicates" the narrative of the videos' development, is that 'complicate' as in 'expose as a big fat fucking lie'?

Generation[redacted] April 10, 2012 at 4:17 pm

I believe that actually simplifies the narrative.

actor212 April 10, 2012 at 4:23 pm

Well, the narratives told by Giles and O'Keefe get more complex, in what is known in third grade circles as "Busted and can't be trusted."

You might remember this as "I did not have sex with that woman….unless you define a 'blow job' as sex. Then I guess I did, the little whore."

MadBrahms April 10, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Le gasp, real journalisms! Don't think this means we're going to cut back on the cock jokes or unseemly references to skuillfucking, editors/rixes!

I would love to know what the "difference of visions" was. Was O'Keefe's vision sex? Would anyone be surprised?

ratcityrebel April 10, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Amalgamated Dildo Boat LLC tried very hard to keep this under wraps.

Baconzgood April 10, 2012 at 4:11 pm

What iz thiz? Newz on teh Wonkettez? Well it does bash jimmy so I'll allow it to pass. But the next post better be about some Senator sending dick picks to a rent boy.

actor212 April 10, 2012 at 4:30 pm

I know, right? In the words of the immortal President Schwarzenegger, "I was born to lead, not to read."

Baconzgood April 10, 2012 at 4:38 pm

I mean don't Matt and Liz know that we NEED this site. It's our Fox "news". Only, unlike the fox viewer, we know all the shit is made up for the lulz.

actor212 April 10, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Yea! Go peddle your "news" someplace else, you two! You'll ruin the reputation of this mommyblog!

Jukesgrrl April 10, 2012 at 5:41 pm

There is a precedent for this. If I remember correctly, the late, great Spy broke some of the better Trump stories. How else would we know that the vulgarian was short-fingered?

actor212 April 11, 2012 at 10:09 am

Yea, but they had actual jounalmalists!

byepluto April 10, 2012 at 4:12 pm

This story will tarnish the otherwise flawless reputation and legacy of the late Andrew Breitbart.

Judith_Priest April 10, 2012 at 11:05 pm

Ow! I just laughed so hard my sides ache.

lulzmonger April 11, 2012 at 6:34 am

As the turd dries out, the tinsel falls off.
Selah.

Mumbletypeg April 10, 2012 at 4:12 pm

This is bad news for Project Veritas' latest hijinks-gone-wrong..

Radio福井県 April 10, 2012 at 4:25 pm
Mumbletypeg April 10, 2012 at 4:33 pm

Brilliant — I'd forgotten about that!

Jukesgrrl April 10, 2012 at 5:46 pm

I seriously object to O'Keefe being referred to as a "filmmaker." By his standards any five-year old with a cell phone is a filmmaker. Unless, of course, a Wonket refers to him as a filmmaker for da irony.

Doktor StrangeZoom April 10, 2012 at 4:13 pm

"Queenie Bui, a Vietnamese American friend of Hannah Giles"–OK, that's not even a plausible name for a Bond villain.

Tundra Grifter April 10, 2012 at 5:32 pm

Does she wear a yellow shirt?

PubOption April 10, 2012 at 8:23 pm

With black stripes.

Biel_ze_Bubba April 11, 2012 at 2:08 am

Hmm. How many Queenie Buis can there be, who were Vice Presidents of their College Repubs?

MissTaken April 10, 2012 at 4:13 pm

"Roger Masi, a college friend of O’Keefe’s who was also scheduled to play the pimp, but had to drop out because he made Hannah Giles uncomfortable"

Holy shit, how bad do you have to be to make someone who works with Breitbart and O'Keefe uncomfortable?? Yikes.

Lascauxcaveman April 10, 2012 at 4:28 pm

Seriously, if Anthony Hopkins ever tires of the Hannibal Lecter role…

teebob2000 April 10, 2012 at 4:40 pm

You've heard the term "blumpkin" before, right?

GOPCrusher April 10, 2012 at 4:55 pm

He is the inspiration for Jethro Tull's Aqualung.

actor212 April 10, 2012 at 5:02 pm

He's an options trader at Morgan Stanley.

I'm serious. He's that low-down and disgusting.

Tundra Grifter April 10, 2012 at 5:33 pm

That's lower than whale poop.

occams8ball April 10, 2012 at 7:56 pm

srsly, there are laws protecting decent people from stalkers, amirite? you probably don't believe it, but I am sixty years old and am comfortable with the latest hip jargon!

Not_So_Much April 10, 2012 at 4:14 pm

I wonder if Vera is going to sue them for more than $60K? Cuz that would be a huge financial bummer for the young pimp…

Jukesgrrl April 10, 2012 at 5:51 pm

I feel really sorry for Vera. You don't get much suing someone who lives in his parents' outhouse. They might have wanted to carry the charges to Breitbart's door, but now … Seriously, I'm beginning to think the results of Breitbart's autopsy will be "finally realized what an asshole he was."

Pragmatist2 April 10, 2012 at 4:14 pm

Can I say this? I can't read this and drink at the same time. This issues coming up a lot. I just want you to know, I prefer to drink..

i

elviouslyqueer April 10, 2012 at 4:14 pm

Enjoy prison, Bottom Boy O'Queefy-Poo. And thus concludes this week's episode of Red Hot Poker Up the Santorum Chute.

Chichikovovich April 11, 2012 at 9:35 am

Yep. They'll treat O'Keefe like a king in prison.

King Edward II to be precise.

[OK, that story is probably apocryphal. But this is Wonkette.]

Nostrildamus April 10, 2012 at 4:14 pm

I say just shoot them all.

LesBontemps April 10, 2012 at 4:21 pm

You can't actually say that on teh Wonketts anymore.

DaRooster April 10, 2012 at 4:43 pm

"… in a video."

(fixed)

Deportably_Jose April 10, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Can we at least maliciously edit said video to give the appearance of impropiety? I mean, the appearance of more impropiety, actually.

emmelemm April 10, 2012 at 5:14 pm

Let God sort 'em out.

ChrisM2011 April 10, 2012 at 4:15 pm

Giles was only paid half?

The conservative War on Women continues….

johnnyzhivago April 10, 2012 at 4:15 pm

Like the song says "It Ain't Love If You Gotta Pay for It"

actor212 April 10, 2012 at 5:30 pm

STOP JUDGING ME!

cheetojeebus April 10, 2012 at 4:15 pm

In my mind, I heard that guy who does the monster truck commercials and heavy metal concert ads read that headline. He nailed it.

you know, in my mind.

MissTaken April 10, 2012 at 4:16 pm

The bottom arrows on that picture look like boobies.

Boobies!

Guppy April 10, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Wonkette: providing insightful commentary for today's hard-hitting journalism!

actor212 April 10, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Saggy boobies. Do Not Want.

Tundra Grifter April 10, 2012 at 5:37 pm

L.S.M.F.T.

SorosBot April 10, 2012 at 4:31 pm

You're trying to turn all the men of Wonkette on again, aren't you?

actor212 April 10, 2012 at 4:32 pm

Dude, she has to try?

MissTaken April 10, 2012 at 4:36 pm

And some of the women!

SorosBot April 10, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Mmmmm boobies.

YasserArraFeck April 10, 2012 at 5:17 pm

Breitbarts moobs. Tubby git.

Tundra Grifter April 10, 2012 at 5:38 pm

Everything looks like boobies – if you are a bra.

widestanceromance April 10, 2012 at 4:16 pm

For a second, I started to think that maybe O'Keefe might not be on the up and up. Then, I saw how many paragraphs are in this post, and I figured, he's probably an alright guy because of freedom.

Blueb4sunrise April 10, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Related………..He's got a new one.
http://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/Activist-

oops, beaten by a Mumbletypeg

actor212 April 10, 2012 at 4:20 pm

Undoubtedly as creatively edited as the first twelve.

Blueb4sunrise April 10, 2012 at 4:31 pm

I dunno, more like a 'nothing happened'.

Conspirator walks into Poll Place, asks ' Do you have an Eric Holder?' [insert your own Bart Simpson joke here] They check the spelling etc., guy turns the book around and says, 'sign here'. Conspirator says he doesn't have I.D., guy says ya don't need it. Conspirator walks out.

Mumbletypeg April 10, 2012 at 4:38 pm

For a 'nothing happened,' it's drawn a fat batch of comments over at MeFi where I originally read about it. I haven't even gotten through half of them yet.

Blueb4sunrise April 10, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Yeah, well, don't start drinking. I ain't gonna look.

I just meant that the poll worker didn't offer to help commit voter fraud to thwart the true wishes of the electorate….. , even the guy was careful to say ' Do you have…', not "I'm Eric Holder'.

Mumbletypeg April 10, 2012 at 4:35 pm

oops, beaten by a Mumbletypeg

You crack me up. Eh, it's worth linking, and thereby fist'ing, again — multiple times, even~

Blueb4sunrise April 10, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Gently.

ElPinche April 10, 2012 at 4:19 pm

Ok, can O'Keefe become someone's buttplug in prison NOW?

widestanceromance April 10, 2012 at 4:31 pm

He's more likely to become a buttplug cozy.

GOPCrusher April 10, 2012 at 4:58 pm

Everytime I see his picture I think, now there is a guy that used to take some righteous ass kickings after school. Or had the elastic from his tighty whities up around his ears on several occasions after gym class.

sullivanst April 10, 2012 at 5:02 pm

"Or"?

DaRooster April 10, 2012 at 4:19 pm

"…Anthony Pombal, who was to play the pimp but dropped out due to work obligations; Roger Masi, a college friend of O’Keefe’s who was also scheduled to play the pimp, but had to drop out because he made Hannah Giles uncomfortable…"

So in typical right wing fashion- O'Keffe wasn't gonna pay people for actually doing the work and… and… at least one was too creepy? Sounds about right.

sullivanst April 10, 2012 at 4:48 pm

And how creepy do you have to be to skeeve out someone who's comfortable with JOKe in the same role?

Lascauxcaveman April 10, 2012 at 4:19 pm

Yep, you can buy a lot of good, rock solid journamilism for $65,000.

Or you can rent an O'Keefe.

Jukesgrrl April 10, 2012 at 5:55 pm

I'd be willing to take a bet that Woodward and Bernstein's combined salaries at the Post weren't $65,000 the year they reported on the Watergate cover-up.

actor212 April 10, 2012 at 4:20 pm

Conveniently, they waited until Breitbart was dead to leak this.

Hm. Maybe this is what killed him?

ElPinche April 10, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Thanks Matt and Liz Farkas ..the Scut Farkas of Breitbart's Media Kingdom.

Deportably_Jose April 10, 2012 at 4:23 pm

The depositions were taken this past March at the Washington, D.C. offices of Planet Depos — a third-party supplier of certified court reporters and legal videographers that is really, actually named that, which is totally great.

Eh. Personally, I much prefer the Depo Depot.

MissTaken April 10, 2012 at 4:31 pm

I find that Planet Depos has better prices on Depo Provera than Depo Depot.

Swampgas_Man April 10, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Or the Home Depos.

Blueb4sunrise April 10, 2012 at 4:39 pm
actor212 April 10, 2012 at 4:40 pm

Groupon always has something up from Deporama.

Geminisunmars April 10, 2012 at 6:12 pm

I do my shopping at Orifice Depo.

SayItWithWookies April 10, 2012 at 4:24 pm

So the pimp was a whore? That's getting too big for some mighty little britches.

HobbesEvilTwin April 10, 2012 at 4:28 pm

here's the shorter version for all you TLDR'ers:
Breitbart is a douche
O'Keefe is a douche
O'Keefe's whore is a whore douche.

Inchhigh April 10, 2012 at 5:33 pm

Oh, jeezus, thanks for clearing that up, HobbesET, I was afraid in my slothiness I'd have to just go with my former understanding that Breitbart was a douche O'Keefe is a douche, and O'K's whore is a douche. Oh…wait…

SIncerely, TLDRtard

BaldarTFlagass April 10, 2012 at 4:32 pm

I study political science
I love my classes
I got a crazy mentor, he loves men's asses
Things are going great, and they're only getting better
I'm doing all right, getting good grades
The future's so bright, I gotta wear pimp shades,

I've got a job waiting, 'pon my graduation
Sixty thou a year — buys a lot of beer
Things are going great, and they're only getting better
I'm doing all right, getting good grades
The future's so bright, I gotta wear pimp shades

Judith_Priest April 10, 2012 at 11:26 pm

Awesome.

Joshua Norton April 10, 2012 at 4:33 pm

The best thing Breitbart ever wrote was "Call 911" in a puddle of his own vomit.

Fare la Volpe April 10, 2012 at 4:48 pm

With his tongue, I hope.

mrpuma2u April 10, 2012 at 5:36 pm

That is a win, sir. I guffawed audibly.

PuckStopsHere April 10, 2012 at 6:14 pm

Still glad he's dead.

imissopus April 10, 2012 at 4:35 pm

I think I hear Breitbart spinning in his grave. Of course that could just be because all the cocaine hasn't worked its way out of his system yet.

Not_So_Much April 10, 2012 at 6:22 pm

OT, still no official cause of death for the fat turd. Maybe it's hard to articulate a complete coke-instead-of-blood replacement?

sullivanst April 10, 2012 at 4:35 pm

NEEDZ MOAR TIDES FOUNDATION!

Baconzgood April 10, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Man. One has to be pretty creepy to out creepy Creepy Jimmy O’Keefe. This guy must be a hall of fame creepy pedo bear white van guy.

WiscDad April 10, 2012 at 4:37 pm

So Masi made Giles uncomfortable huh? Guess it was just a matter of time before the barn incident with Jimmy

Tundra Grifter April 10, 2012 at 5:38 pm

"The barn incident?"

Sounds pretty fowl.

Gleem McShineys April 10, 2012 at 4:38 pm

That drawing of Breitbart is pretty good, but it really could use x's instead of eyes, for accuracy.

Isyaignert April 10, 2012 at 5:11 pm

Good one!

CapnFatback April 10, 2012 at 4:41 pm

That is, quite plainly, the filthiest evolutionary cycle graphic that I have ever seen.

WiscDad April 10, 2012 at 4:42 pm

The graphic is cool…looks like a DICK hanging between two NUTS

HempDogbane April 10, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Thank God I was also unable to afford the plane tickets !

GhostAndrewBreitbart April 10, 2012 at 5:01 pm

Worth every penny!

Chet Kincaid April 10, 2012 at 5:12 pm

I would like to congratulate that graphic on not being another fucking blingee.

crybabyboehner April 10, 2012 at 5:16 pm

who was to play the pimp but dropped out due to work obligations = LOSER!

Slim_Pickins April 10, 2012 at 5:17 pm

Vera, Boudreau, Landrieu — Jimmy-boy should learn to stay away from people whose last names end in vowels.

sullivanst April 10, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Also Naffe

Jukesgrrl April 10, 2012 at 6:00 pm

Bui, Dini, Masi.

GemlikeFlame April 10, 2012 at 5:20 pm

In one of the other articles on little Jimmy (I'm ashamed to share my first name with him), I thought that he was unlikely to have the smarts or ambition to pull off all this stuff by himself and wondered who was pulling his strings.

Now we know. With any luck, the money for these shenanigans just dried up and blew away with Breitbart and I hope the same happens to Jimmy and his He-Man Women Haters Club.

BarackMyWorld April 10, 2012 at 5:20 pm

OT: So I guess the only person Zimmerman will talk to is not his lawyer, but Sean Hannity? http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/10/sean-han

No wonder Blockhead McTalkingpoint is so adamant about defending him on TV.

owhatever April 10, 2012 at 5:22 pm

For that amount of cash, Breitbart could have purchased a really nice tombstone for me to piss on.

anniegetyerfun April 10, 2012 at 5:24 pm

Wait, is the breaking news here that Breitbart was in this from the beginning? Because I never thought otherwise.

Tundra Grifter April 10, 2012 at 5:27 pm

Where can I purchase one of those Lily Ledbetter suits?

The last designer suit I purchased was a Givenchy.

I do like Huddie's music, however.

mrblifil April 10, 2012 at 5:46 pm

It is typical for exclusive breaking Wonkettz journamalism scoops to refer in one way or another to teh buttsecks. Please be advised in future.

gurukalehuru April 10, 2012 at 5:48 pm

Tip of the iceberg, baby. Breitbart gets nailed posthumously for one crime but there will be another, and another, until lots of Republicans glom onto this "blame the dead guy" technique and, before you know it….Breitbart did 9/11!

Troglodeity April 10, 2012 at 5:53 pm

"Law student / aspiring pimp": redundant.

Redhead April 10, 2012 at 5:57 pm

This is just all KINDS of awesome!

Lionel[redacted]Esq April 10, 2012 at 6:06 pm

The ironic thing is that O'Keefe would have had more honor if he had been a child prostitute importing pimp.

Geminisunmars April 10, 2012 at 6:17 pm

You can tell that this is a faux posting because O'Keefe's mentor's name is "Been Wetmore".

Jukesgrrl April 10, 2012 at 6:18 pm

Snark off: I read O'Keefe's Wikipedia entry the other day. Seriously, some American presidents have shorter ones. I suspect he wrote it himself, then it was edited to avoid libel by some official Wiki-editor. He waxes poetic and in extensive detail about the wonders of his oeuvre. His totally disasters are classified as "Minor Works." The spankings he's received from law enforcement are buried deep into the chronicle of his "accomplishments."

This is a sample paragraph: "For his first video, O'Keefe and other Centurion [a conservative college rag] writers met with Rutgers dining staff to demand the banning of the cereal Lucky Charms from dining halls because of its offense to Irish Americans. O'Keefe said the leprechaun mascot presented a stereotype. He intended to have officials lose either way: to appear insensitive to an ethnic group, or to look silly by agreeing to ban Lucky Charms. The students said they expected to be thrown out for the discussion, but the Rutgers official took notes, was courteous, and said their concerns would be considered. Rutgers staff say the cereal was never taken off the menu." So in other words, they thought their plan was foolproof, but they lost on every objective, not to mention humor. Yet this inane prank is treated as a serious political activity.

I can't bring myself to look at his entry in the Conservapedia. My computer probably doesn't have enough power to process the text.

And BTW, Wiki says he graduated from Rutgers. I thought assholes on his level always went to Dartmouth.

Guppy April 10, 2012 at 6:30 pm

[Liz Farkas] has previously contributed to The Rutgers Centurion, a monthly journal of conservative thought at Rutgers University co-founded by James O’Keefe.

Now here promises to be an interesting story…

deanbooth April 10, 2012 at 6:36 pm

Yes, it's a puzzle. Follow the money?

Guppy April 10, 2012 at 6:43 pm

No, I get the feeling this is more personal. O'Keefe has a long history of… less enlightened attitudes towards women, after all.

It's Dramalicious!

LetUsBray April 10, 2012 at 7:43 pm

Did O'Queefe offer her a ride on his dildo boat, too? Anyway, it's no surprise Ms. Farkas would have gravitated to Teh Wonkette: Compared to that guy, we ooze class out of every possible orifice.

chascates April 10, 2012 at 7:50 pm

GOOD GOD! Hannah Giles killed Andrew Breitbart! It all makes so much sense now!

And I can PROVE I was in Texas the week he was killed.

An_Outhouse April 10, 2012 at 8:19 pm

"had to drop out because he made Hannah Giles uncomfortable"

I'd pay to see the interview with that drooler.

Negropolis April 11, 2012 at 12:16 am

So very, extra insidery.

jrobinson April 11, 2012 at 2:02 am

Seriously? Freelance journalists sell stories all the time. National Geo, for example, even finances expeditions. Does that compromise the science conducted?

Face it, the whole purpose of this article is to dismiss the things Brietbart did, not make any arguments about what he found. And who's it directed at? Those on the Right see this as a transparent ploy; you ain't converting anyone. No, this is targeted at your friends on the Left who are starting to look over the fence of your plantation – where the koolaid is free and MSNBC is on all day long.

catspjs April 11, 2012 at 6:31 am

Haha. Show me a freelance journalist who makes that much money from one story and maybe I'll agree with you.

C_R_Eature April 11, 2012 at 5:28 am

A fine piece of Investigative Journalism: factual, well sourced and concise.
I'd say, to Breitbart, O'Keefe, et.al. that this is how Journalism's done except for the facts – a.) none of them are actual Journalists and b.) Breitbart's Still Dead.

outragedcitizen April 11, 2012 at 9:11 am

Instead of wasting their time making, "Social Network" Fichner and Sorkin should have turned this cluster-fuck into a movie! The three stooges could have played the main characters.

mookwrthwilson April 11, 2012 at 9:22 am

That drawing of O'Keefe doesn't have that "I'm a child sex offender" look that he does in real life.

SenileAgitation April 11, 2012 at 9:29 am

Wonderful illustration, I hope we will see more from Mr. Phelan.

ttommyunger April 11, 2012 at 9:52 am

Amazing how artwork can almost make someone look human. BTW, when is America going to scrape this little piece of shit off of its shoe?

tweeksmom April 16, 2012 at 7:01 pm

This reminds me….is that autopsy report back yet?

actor212 April 10, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Nonetheless, the DoJ has opened an investigation.

OneDollarJuana April 10, 2012 at 5:12 pm

Exclusivity doesn't equate to lots of sex. Ask any married person.

actor212 April 10, 2012 at 5:23 pm

You think Breitbart paid this guy $5G a month without some expectations? He was a cheap bastard, I imagine he got more than his money's worth.

Jukesgrrl April 10, 2012 at 5:31 pm

Clash LIBEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

larrykat April 10, 2012 at 5:46 pm

Is that you, Southside Johnny?

Jukesgrrl April 11, 2012 at 12:57 am

No one would ever mistake him for a grrl.And if he was here, we'd never know.

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