Monsanto, that sickening institution behind Agent Orange and strawberries made out of fish and sugar made out of Axe Body Spray,* has claimed and will probably claim until the end of time that you don’t really need to know that your “all-natural” cereal is actually created in a lab. DON’T YOU LIKE IT? Don’t you feel yourself turning into a Transformer? But the state of Vermont is particularly not thrilled about Monsanto’s coquettish behavior, and is trying to pass H. 722, which would require food labels to tell you whether a product is genetically modified, and would prevent that “all-natural” designation from appearing on the packaging of a GMO food, BECAUSE IT ISN’T. The corporation has so much disgusting dirty cash on hand, however, that it has decided to intimidate the people of Vermont — not a timid bunch, mind you — out of proceeding with the bill. The sad thing? It looks like it’s working. Fish strawberries WILL RISE AGAIN.

Alternet writes that Vermont lawmakers are actually “dragging their feet” over the bill because Monsanto is proving, once again, to be a bunch of bullies with enough money to put multiple entire law firms on its cases. One theory is that Vermont will have to “go it alone” in court if it passes the bill, because it will make the state the first in the nation with such a law. Instead of seeing this as HEROIC, certain lawmakers appear to be having second thoughts and are holding public hearings over the bill in what appears to be an effort to stall all the way until the end of the current legislative session in May. In other words, some Monsanto employee has handed over stacks of cash to some influential Vermonters, and it appears to be hushing them up nicely?

Perhaps if California passes its similar Right to Know Act, which is currently in the process of gathering signatures for the November ballot, Vermont would have the courage to be second in the nation? But the website of the bill, Vermont Right to Know GMOs, points out:

50 countries including the European Union, Japan and China already label genetically engineered foods. Vermont should be the leader on this important issue here in the United States.

Also, do not wait for California to do things! You may be waiting a long time, e.g. until the Second Coming of the Dinosaurs!

Because of our peerless legal system, if the bill goes forward, Monsanto will likely succeed in suing the entire state of Vermont and thus exercising its Right to Not Tell, just like it did with the rBGH milk fiasco, in which Monsanto’s lawyers were enticed by wads into arguing that milk producers should not have to declare whether their products contained that particular bovine growth hormone or not (AND WON).

Now, to what degree does this matter? Let this pretty chart from the USDA itself explain:


[Alternet via Daily Kos]


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  • Barb

    Can we still have fetuses in our food?

  • nounverb911

    Maybe Vermont should just boycott Monsanto.

  • fartknocker

    In comparison to Oklahoma, Arizona, Texas, the Carolinas, Montana and Florida, we never hear anything about bat-shit wierdness from Vermont. I think I'll listen to what they say – they seem to have things under control in that state.

    • Vermont is a pretty cool state. Too far from the ocean, otherwise I might move there. It's also very pretty.

  • Radio福井県

    Wait, I just had lamb and cauliflower two days ago!!1! I'm gonna die!!I!

  • I don't know about you guys, but I love having that extra protein from frog liver DNA in my tomatoes.

    • bagofmice

      Technically, you have frog DNA. FYI.

  • are you telling me the super-dank-veggie-burritos I purchase at Phish shows have genetically modified dankness? say it aint so!

    • It wasn't the the veggies in the burritos that was genetically modified, it was the acid.

  • Yeah, you fucking hippies. Who doesn't like extra slimey mucus in their milk or Round Up in their cornflakes?

  • chascates

    GMOs are people, my friends. Soylent Green!

  • Schmannnity

    I thought the only food that came from Vermont was Chunky Monkey

    • bureaucrap

      Actually, DNA from that chunky monkey is now in your carrot.

  • CivicHoliday

    It doesn't help matters that the FDA and USDA are both filled to the brim with former Monsanto and Cargill employees/lobbyists, and that the supreme court is about as likely to uphold a food label law as they are to issue a formal apology for Bush v. Gore. I'm sure there is bribery going on with VT legislatures but there is also a growing understanding of the futility of this issue.

  • sullivanst

    RWers jumping up and down demanding tort reform in 3.. 2..

    Oh wait. SLAPPs by corporate behemoths are different, aren't they.

  • Ducksworthy

    Monsanto took the right turn with bioengineering from the very beginning. They realized that they could make a lot of money, not by making plants disease and bug resistant, which would have been a reasonable (i.e. human) approach. But Monsanto decided to make plants that were herbicide resistant.
    this allowed them to sell millions of tons more toxic herbicide.

    • sullivanst

      Also, terminators. For freedom! (from things that are free)

  • Baconzgood

    I hate fucking GMOs sooo god damn much with their mascara and fucking wanna be Criss Angel vampire clothes that you can buy off the rack at Hot Topic in any mall in America. YOU FUCKS ARE NOT ORIGINAL. They used to be called "Goths" and you know what? THEY FUCKING SUCKED COCK TOO! God I hate GMOs!

  • Goonemeritus

    If Monsanto keeps disrespecting Vermont, Vermont is going to send Ben and Jerry down to their corporate offices to squeeze a few faces.

    • CapnFatback

      They knock 'em around with their Chubby Hubby Clubbies.

  • niblick77

    Maybe they will tell us what is in Soylent Green!

    • Ispeople, a rare ingredient from Sumatra

      • Negropolis

        Indonesia = Obama! Someone get me a chalkboard; I think I'm on to something, here!

  • OneYieldRegular

    This crap is illegal in France (private note to Vermont: if you need help, get in touch with French activist José Bové).

  • Callyson

    if California passes its similar Right to Know Act, which is currently in the process of gathering signatures for the November ballot

    I just signed the petition the other day, though I know we will be deluged with attack ads if this gets on the ballot. Cue hysteria about "food prices will go up/jobs will be lost/the world will starve" in 3…2…1…

  • teebob2000

    Via Daily Kos(ommunist)??? Librul trouble-makers!!! Move along, nothing to see here, folks! We legislators know what's best for the fine people of the great state of Vermont!

    *crawling on floor grabbing handfuls of cash thrown up in the air by the bucketload by insanely-cackling Monsanto lobbyists*

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Uhhhhhhhhhh, cheddar something, something…….

  • SorosBot

    We should be thanking Mosanto for keeping America fat and lazy on hydrogenated corn sugar.

  • Steverino247
    • Baconzgood

      YES YES YES YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The best OT on WONKETTE EVAR!

      • Baconzgood

        Huff-Po article:

        "Santorum Drops Out"

        The shit writes its self.

    • sullivanst

      Note to Rick Santorum: the Gettysburg Address was not a concession speech.

      • Generation[redacted]

        Though some still wish it were.

  • widestanceromance

    Gene Slime is not food.

  • V572 Fehrnstrom

    There used to be a town on the Illinois side of the Mississippi from St Louis (Monsanto HQ) called "Monsanto." Then somebody did some soil testing and whoa! New town name stat!

    And they used to dump PCBs in the water at a plant in Anniston AL until WaPo caught 'em* at it about ten years ago—long after everyone knew this was dangerous and illegal.

    And when the Monsanto chairman's palatial suburban McMansion was donated to St Louis County, it wound up as The Dog Museum, where one may view works of art whose subject matter is Man's Best Friend. And yes, they have the poker-playing pooches prominently displayed.

    Think it's a joke? And you can bring your dawg!
    *Hey, remember when WaPo used to do cool shit like that, instead of selling test prep courses and pimping their decision-maker access to businesses?

    • LesBontemps

      Hey, remember when WaPo used to do cool shit like that

      No. And neither do you.

      • V572 Fehrnstrom

        Well there was that “Watergate” unpleasantness some years back. And the Pentagon Papers. I am a bona fide Old.

  • CapnFatback

    Both me and my second, smaller, mutated head agree: genetically modified foods are ooooh-kay.

    • JustPixelz

      Most guys have a nickname for their penis, but "second smaller mutated head" is kinda self-deprecating, dontcha think? How about "giant love sausage"? Or "Earl"?

      • CapnFatback

        Are you referring to the Capn's log?

        • new_pic_for_NEWTer

          There are not enough upfists in the multiverses for that one.

    • The three eyed fish told you so.

  • Generation[redacted]

    Now where will I get my Tomacco juice?

  • V572 Fehrnstrom

    Fourteen fortnights and seven days ago, my big-handed grandfather brought forth upon this continent a new tribe of fast breeding Catholics…..

  • James Michael Curley

    A couple passes over the state with Agent Orange and Vermont will be know as "The Great Northeastern Desert."

    • Gleem McShineys


  • owhatever

    Mom, the mayo tastes furry and the banana just walked across the counter again.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I hope Monsanto wins. I want my food from a nice clean laboratory, not from some damn field where cows and horses and sheep shit all day. That stuff might have dirt on it, too.

  • hagajim

    Can I GMO my penis for an extra couple of inches?

    • JustPixelz

      Yes, but then you'll only be able to have Genetically Modified Orgasms.

  • DaRooster

    I do NOT want GMO pink slime!!

  • mavenmaven

    New genetically engineered advanced pink slime!

  • Oblios_Cap

    If Monsanto can successfully sue African farmers because their genetically altered plants' pollen fertilized their unaltered crops, Vermonters are in for a world of hurt if they try to pass this bill.

  • i think if the aerially drop their seeds onto Vermont farms, they can sue Vermont's famers into indentured servitude

  • anniegetyerfun

    God, Liz, it's almost like you think people have a RIGHT to know what they are eating.

  • Oblios_Cap

    If this goes all the way to the Supremes, Monsanto always has ex-employee Clarence Thomas to vote their way.

    • WiscDad

      ooohhh…the Supremes? I LOVE Diana Ross

  • WiscDad

    Vermont is like the 'test spot' on the carpet where the test didn't turn out well

  • Dumbedup

    Yeah, so, from the front lines here in VT: it's not that legislators are being bribed, it's that we have lost two massive suits to corporations in the last year; drug companies beat some law attempting to regulate them, and Vermont had to pay 4.6 million in costs. Then we lost to Entergy Nuclear when the legislature tried to shut their aging and decrepit nuclear plant down. The bill for that is not in yet, but will be a lot. So it's no wonder we are gunshy at this point, big corporations have been killing us in court when we pass the laws we want to live under. Even the "Eat More Kale" guy has been threatened with a lawsuit. Sheesh!

    • JustPixelz

      I used to live in VT. My main worry was that New Hampshire would attack. "Live Free and Die … horribly under our libertarian boot". Not a very friendly state motto.

    • mormos

      Vermont LOST the entergy case! Fuck me sideways! Time to check out, by which i mean grab my shit and run like hell cause i aint paying the bill.

  • Wonderthing

    Shut uppa you mouth and eata you fish strawberries before I getta so mad!

  • Dashboard Buddha

    Can't we just stop with this death by 1000 cuts and just cut to the chase. Monsanto gets to declare victory and we'll be able to get Soylent Green patties in our grocer's freezer case.

    • comrad_darkness

      I tried to have a serious conversation the other day where I was arguing that cannibalism is essential to avoiding the wicked undershoot of a population crash, similar to how the Polynesians managed for centuries. No one wanted to engage on this. Maybe because all my friends are fat and delicious looking?

      • Dashboard Buddha

        I prefer “well marbled”.—

  • barto

    Why don't they just buy the state of Vermont and be done with it? WOOT!

  • larrykat

    Most of Monsanto's genetic engineering revolves around them modifying crop seeds to not react to their own herbicide, commonly known as Roundup. So they have a Roundup to spray on the crop as it is growing, to control weeds, and THEN, the farmer can use a different Roundup to spray on that actually does kill the crop when they want to hurry up the harvest it! They get it coming and going, plus sell the seeds! And they go around suing individual farmers who try and keep some of their crop seeds (that they grew themselves) to plant next year so they don't have to buy more seeds from Monsanto! And of course the seeds are identifiable genetically so the chain of evidence is right there to prove it. Awesome.

  • LesBontemps

    Mmmmm …. fish strawberries.

    Maybe now they can work on strawberry fish?

  • Monsanto created ManBearPig out of DNA gleaned from dining utensils stolen from the homes of the following individuals*:
    1.) Al Gore
    2.) Tom Selleck
    3.) Rush Limbaugh


  • Why does Monsanto hate free market capitalism?

    I know why, I was being rhetorical.

  • You know what the "O" stands for, right?

    That's right…


    Let that sink in for a few minutes.

  • mormos

    You mean the company that sues farmers into using their product against the farmers will is doing something shady? I am shocked!

  • Negropolis

    Never trust a Vermontmen, those maple-swilling mountain billies.

  • ttommyunger

    Monsanto: "Taking over the World, for evil, one bite at a time".

  • comrad_darkness

    Don't eat anything you didn't grow yourself. Or smoke, either.

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