Our old pal John “Salad Days” Derbyshire no longer has a job at National Review after writing one measly most racist column in Internet history, on a paleoconservative fringe site. (Your author wrote a whole bunch of words about this for the Salon website instead of on Your Wonkette, because he is a traitor.) Indeed, the PC nanny-state Left has scored another great man’s scalp. Good work, idiots. If we don’t have a Derbyshire-esque sage out there to persistently remind white people, “Stay out of heavily black neighborhoods,” then all we’ll get is more stolen Daily Caller bikes.
Some aggrieved fellow at the Caller — to narrow it down — has written a piece about “the end of my white guilt.” He tells of howsomeone in a predominantly black neighborhood stole his bicycle this weekend, a sad turn of events to which he reacted in proportion by completely changing his views of racial relations in the country. Do note that unless we missed something, he still has no confirmation that it was in fact a black person who stole his bike. But, you know, who else could’ve done it?
But when I came back to my car after the stations, my bike, which had been locked to a bike rack on my car, was gone. I called the cops and filed a report. Then I walked around Brookland, the neighborhood around the Shrine, for an hour to see if I could spot it. I didn’t, but I did talk to some people who said there were a lot of kids around that day because the schools are out.
I went to college at Catholic University, which is right next to the National Shrine, and I know Brookland pretty well. It’s home to several Catholic religious orders (Brookland was once known as “Little Rome”). I could be pretty certain that on Good Friday a member of the Little Sisters of the Poor, which is across the street from where I was parked, had not nicked my bike. Neither had the monks at the Dominican House of Studies on the corner. The students at Catholic University were on Easter break. That left the neighborhoods around the university. Since the time I was an undergrad at Catholic University in the 1980s, most of the crime that has occurred on campus has come from those neighborhoods, which are predominately black. As sure as it took the D.C. cops forever to get to the parking lot to file a report, I knew that the odds were very high that a black person had taken my bike — maybe one of the kids that had been described.
When I got home I vented to my friends. I told them I was going to scour those neighborhoods until I found the bike. In reply, a liberal friend gave me a lecture about profiling and told me to just forget about the bike. “That person needs our prayers and help,” she said. “They haven’t had the advantages we have.”
Well sure, your lecturing liberal friend is an exceptional pussy, much more so than the average liberal pussy. But there’s a middle-ground between changing your view of an entire race and praying for the person who stole your bike: getting mad at the one person who stole your bike whatever his or her race may be. Or don’t and keep over-thinking shit, who cares.
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Only socialists ride bicycles.
*This* is what happens with Agenda 21.
Like, didn't his parents have that little talk with him about being a Conservative on a bicycle?
Well, to be fair, he did have it strapped to his car.
Silly former bike-owner, real Republicans only strap their dogs to their car.
And Mormons.
Real Capitalist heroes ride trains!*
*But not in real life.
"Then I walked around Brookland, the neighborhood around the Shrine, for an hour to see if I could spot it."
How hard could it be to find a tricycle with a Hello Kitty basket, pink streamers on the handles and for his kinky pleasure, lacking a seat?
You're wrong! It does too have a seat!
Now that's my kinda bike!
As long as the whole town isn't riding.
*ouchie*
Jeez you wouldn't want to cross the RR tracks on that unit.
I want to ride my Bicycle
I want to ride it how I like
Notice how the neighborhood is so dangerous that of course the criminal came from there, but it's not so dangerous that this asshole didn't walk around for an hour looking for his bike.
Also notice that this guy is not smart enough to think about the fact that the thief was unlikely to hang around in public with recently stolen goods.
But this guy is somehow smart enough to know that the thief is blah. Yeah, whatever you say there, uh huh, you betcha…
Damn, what a mixed up douchenozzle would that guy be if he got mugged by a white hairless man while wandering around?
I believe this was a missed opportunity for the imaginary sky man/tomb houdini to teach a lesson to a fuckstick.
Ah, R. Crumb's anus cycle!
I had my VCR stolen from my house in my all-white, rural Upstate New York college town in 1994. And that is when I stopped feeling guilty about hating white people.
Just kidding. I stopped feeling guilty about hating white people YEARS before that.
IMO, white people are the worst. And why is there so many of them?
I've definitely stopped feeling guilty about hating white people just now, thanks to Mark Judge, who is all white people just as surely as a probably made-up bike thief of indeterminate race is all black people.
a white person stole my sister's bike when I was a kid. f'in' white people.
There's no way that "liberal friend" actually exists.
I call bullshit on the entire article — never happened. Nobody is that stupid, naive and easily flipped over on a Big Issue.
If you were so inclined, I'm pretty sure that if you Googled key words in that article, you'd find a very similar one out there somewhere on teh internetz. I suspect the only thing that got stolen here was (and I use the following word loosely) intellectual property.
agreed. they took his bike but didn't strip the entire car – or take it.
You're accusing someone who writes fine articles like this of making stuff up?!
Does too! Just ask his black friend!
Is he one of those rare birds, an Intelligent Well-Socialized Black? Because THOSE are fuckin' valuable.
I'll do your cocktail party for $350 an hour, plus transportation expenses.
Ah, but will you be my amulet against future charges of racism?
(Sounds like a D&D thing… My Amulet deflects 5 damage! Way to go, Intelligent well-socialized black friend!)
Why do you need transportation expenses? Just ride that bike you stole.
Oh, boy. Why have I never thought of this? I see franchizes all around the country.
Yeah, that was my thought. I think I see the straw stuffing poking out of the seams of his "liberal friend."
I no longer feel guilty about hating humanity.
I have been hating people for years…
OT, but I saw your cameo on The Daily Show last night. Does he pay well? ;)
Your link is borked, but I saw that! I demand royalties for an image I stole off the internet!
Was there a backwards "B" carved on his face? You know, for "bike?"
ROTFLMAO!
If Judge was a true merikkkan, he'd be riding his Hummer around DC.
Then the cops found his bike chained up outside of the gay strip club just where he left it.
Lies! He took the chains in with him.
“That person needs our prayers and help,” she said. “They haven’t had the advantages we have.”
The Daily Caller writer's imaginary girlfriend than went on to say "Forget about your bike. I need your throbbing manhood."
Excellent.
I wouldn't have believed it either, if it hadn't happened to me, dear reader.
Dear Tuckhouse Forum….
She's not imaginary. She, uh… goes to a different school… you don't know her.
uh, it's a school in Canda, I mean Mexico, you never heard of it.
A conservative is a liberal who had his bike stolen?
And a libertarian is a Republican in mirrored sunglasses.
I thought a libertarian was a Repulican who liked to smoke weed — but yours is good, too.
A conservative is a liberal when it comes to government services that he personally wants to make use of at the moment.
Only the stuff that benefits other people is socialism.
Too bad it didn't get stolen in Florida, he could have shot someone to cheer himself up.
OK Everybody, it's time to play the fill in the blank game!
Those fucking _________ , they stole my _________ .
teabaggers, country.
Cover Bands, Gigs.
Over and done.
Bain Capital executives, jerb
Television Stars, Broadway Roles.
Or:
comic book authors, Broadway productions
kids, Trix
Sugar Bears, Super Sugar Crisp.
Dogs, CoooOOOOoookie Crisp
DJs, wedding gigs.
Repiglicans, national dignity
Rethuglicans, meth
five Supreme Court justices, democracy.
Sperm, waistline
American Indian and Alaska Natives, cherry about America's innocence and moral high ground
Detroit Tigers, Prince Fielder
Or, if you're from Saint Louis: Angels/Pujols
editors at Salon, Newell
Lizard people, manatee
bike thieves, racial transcendancy
Mormons, ancestors!
Hobbitses, Birthday Present
Gays, marriage.
Repubican debates, sanity.
corporations, hope of ever being middle-class again.
"Episcopalians" and "innocence".
Do tell.
As sure as it took the D.C. cops forever to get to the parking lot to file a report,
White people problems strike again!
White person's bike stolen = more important than an armed robbery or a homicide.
They should probably cut taxes more. That'll learn 'em.
Then my cellphone battery died AND I COULDN'T EVEN TWEET! DAMN N**S!
What is Eric Holder going to do about it?!?
Walk around DC looking for this guy's bike, of course. Or try to vote as James O'Keefe maybe.
'Cause, it's not like DC has serious crime to deal with. lol
BTW, newsflash for those who will have their bike stolen: You don't get it back.
BTW x 2: If the bike isn't registered, don't even bother contacting the police and wasting their time. And, even then, getting them back is as rare as finding a well-adjusted Republican.
I hate it when an entire race steals something. Like that time the white race stole North America.
I live in Salt Lake City. The only black people here play for the Utah Jazz. We have some of the worst larceny-theft statistics of any city our size.
Go figure. Mormons like to steal things.
Those Mormons will take anything that isn't nailed down.
And then baptize it.
So, who's keeping an eye on those NBA stars when they're not on court? They can work pretty fast, you know.
To be fair, poor missionaries need bicycles, too.
Derbyshire: is that near Top Hat Ville?
Up the road from Lidsville.
H. R. Puffnstuf, is that you?
In the county of Asshatte.
Just across the taint tracks.
I hear it's actually near the Haight Assbury.
Yes, around the corner from Fedora Acres.
I would love to comment on this but I'm too far past my 'salad days' for anyone to give a shit about me or my opinion.
I think I've hit my 'soup days' or entree days myself. It beats the hell out of the 'after-dinner mint' days, I suppose.
They're wafer-thin.
I'm just hoping to put off the "Ensure days" for as long as possible.
I'm in my biscuits and gravy days.
My bike got stolen once when I was a kid. My parents' neighborhood has a number of black residents, a lot of Koreans, and a few Latinos. Which minority should I have blamed? (Obviously not the white people, we can't blame the white folks).
You're looking at this all wrong. Don't blame a minority for stealing your bike. Just shoot the minority and then say it was because they probably stole your bike. Because of freedom.
And the cops won't even arrest me. Freedom!
Katie, you know my answer…
When I was way little, my father ran over my trike with his Packard. Totalled it, yet I was the one who got the ass-paddling.
You must be blah!
No, just old.
Wait a minute–the cops in D.C. show up to take a report that a bike was stolen? In Motown it takes them a couple of days to respond to a non-fatal shooting and don't even bother calling if its just a mugging or burglary.
Real luxury police services in our nation's capital.
Ha! I was thinking the very same thing. A bike? The dispatcher on the phone would cuss your naive ass out for calling about a missing bike. lol Forget it, Jake. It's Motown.
And, if the Packard Plant is on fire (again), don't even bother caling the DFD.
Honestly? That is what tipped me to the this-fucker-made-this-up element to this story. The DC cops do NOT respond to stolen bikes unless you are a diplomat. Or if the bike thief gets hit by a truck so no one has to find it.
By the way, Brookland is a mostly middle class neighborhood overstuffed with Catholic college kids, and is home to the Tackiest Catholic Church in the US™. If Mr.Whiteypants is scared in Brookland, then Colin Powell and Edward Brooke could step into his elevator and he'd piss himself.
True fact:
A white kid stole my bike when I was twelve, but was stupid enough to ride it to our school a few days later.
A white kid stole my bike – while I was still on it. First encounter with unmedicated true hyperactivity – dude lifted the rear wheel off the ground when I tried to pedal away and then knocked me off. The bike was eventually returned, but no punishment was handed down to my knowledge.
Apparently the kid's problems were well known, but like Burris Ewell he was part of an exclusive club given certain privileges by society. (My son is reading To Kill a Mockingbird, so it is on my mind).
Looks like this happened to a bunch of Wonketeers. I think there should be an investigation.
Yes!! Why don't You People address the scourge of white-on-white crime, instead of blaming "blackie" for all the pathology in your culture?!
A Commission!!! We need a goddammed Commission, that is what we need!!!!
But who to head it?
Its good your son is reading the novel. The movie was promoted with an intro from Obama and as I watched it, first time since the early 70's, I was amazed and confused about so much out of sync, omitted because the time constraints of the movie. Confused because I hadn't read the novel since the late 60's. Unbelievably timeless.
It must have been so liberating to shed all of your [insert race] guilt.
ME TOO! (Really.)
The eighth grade idiot apparently thought that the addition of handlebar streamers and a crossbar pad would sufficiently disguise my bike's metallic black banana seat, two foot tall custom shaped sissy bar, and raccoon tail flag.
I broke two fingers that day.
The kid that stole my sister's bike changed the seat on it, but left left the Wacky Packy stickers on it, including the one we marked with her name and our phone number.
I found the bike a month after it disappeared out front of the bowling alley two blocks from our house, and locked it up with my bike lock and called the cops. When they showed up, oddly enough, nobody in the bowling alley would claim the bike was theirs, so they let me take it home with me.
There were no black people in the bowling alley at the time.
And ever since, you've hated children?
I hate children, but that's because I have two. They stole my life.
The fill in the blank comment is upthread.
I really am scared of neighborhoods full of kids and go out of my way to avoid living near them. I also don't want them to vote, own guns, or take my job.
This is just like my favorite episode of The Wonder Years when Winnie ditches Kevin for a black guy and then he writes a bunch of hateful shit about black people on the bathroom stall. Finally, he passive-aggressively rips on Paul for being a Jew.
However, the voice over makes it sound real reasonable + nostalgic in hindsight.
Maybe the Little Sisters of the Poor thought the bike was a donation for Easter, being a little kid's Big Wheel after all.
this is the most likely explanation. They took the bike but left the car, hubcaps , rims and tires
I would never park a bike around the Little Sisters of the Poor.
A real white guy stole my bike once and he was so stupid that I saw him with it the next day and I took it away from him. What a dope!
I am extremely Caucasian and have lived in Harlem for seven years and have never had anything stolen, my 80 year-old upstairs neighbour bakes me a pie every Thanksgiving, what am I doing wrong?
When I still blonde I lived in Oakland and the only trouble I had was from a crazy white dude who ran up to me one morning and told me I was the Anti-Christ and he was going to tie me up and gut me.
White people scare the shit out of me.
What a weirdo. Being the Anti-Christ is actually one of your many attractive qualities.
Hold on- was this the homeless guy who wears a business suit, no shirt underneath, and only one shoe? The same one who stands across from the police station and yells at people to kill themselves and die? Cause I'm familiar with HIM…
You aren't sharing the yummy pie with your Wonkette friends.
It is so delicious, she is an amazing woman, I think her husband sells drugs, he is about 85!
My next door neighbor is a lovely Latina lady in her late 50's/early 60's, who collects ceramics; we've signed for each others' packages every so often. She also smokes a TON of pot, like clockwork, at 5:30 every day. She must be high as a kite by the time her teenagers get home.
I <3 New York.
Well, for starters, not inviting us for Thanksgiving.
I have an orphan's Thanksgiving every year and invite all kinds of waifs and strays, so come on over.
Oh sure, you say that now but when a collection of dozens (or more) of assorted low-life liberal alcoholics, freaks, and wierdos show up at your door, it's all "Wonkette? Never heard of her."
Go to Silvia's for the stewed turkey with cornbread dressing and sweet potato pie for dessert.
I prefer Amy-Ruth's on 116th for the 'Al Sharpton”, chicken and waffles.
Don't know it but I haven't been in the neighborhood for over twenty years. Also, I have an aorta which would divorce me if I had a real plate of creamed chicken and waffles.
It's fried Chicken and Waffles, but every time anyone comes to stay with me I drag them the four blocks to Amy-Ruth's. Damn their aortas!
get better shit.
Damned Liberals.
BLOGWHORE!
why else would i write a post about this shit?
White Man's Burden?
You know, there's a whole nearly decade-old meme about this kind of thing over at ytmnd.com. Just sayin'.
I was going to mention this, but it looks like you did first.
WELL THEN, NOW I CAN FINALLY SHED MY WHITE GUILT!
So is the guy who wrote this Dennis Miller's cousin? Seems like they both have the same psychological profile.
Is it the profile that reads "Used to be funny with 25 SNL writers scripting his shit, but revealed as an arrogant prick when on his own"?
It's also called "Chevy Chase."
Not enough Fancy Comparisons.
The late Spy magazine once described Dennis Miller as "pissy, self-satisfied comic Dennis Miller".
I don't see how that description could be improved upon.
I sympathize with this guy. Ever since seeing "The Bicycle Thief" and "Pee Wee's Big Adventure," I hate all Italians and Hollywood child stars.
That Derbyshire guy looks like someone just sold him a dead parrot.
Which he then sodomized.
That parrot isn't dead…
It's pining for the fjords.
It has lovely plumage, though.
It was coughing up blood last night.
Like he just ate bad brussels sprouts. Assuming there are GOOD brussel sprouts.
There are – we had some yesterday with our holiday dinner. Brushed with olive oil and sprinkled with kosher salt, then roasted. Yum.
I suppose that if you deep-fried them, then covered them with melted sharp cheddar, carmelized onions, thin slivers of Black Angus beef, and bacon crumbles, they'd be OK.
If by "dead parrot" you mean "pre-pubescent boy", yes, he's in possession of a "dead parrot."
#notintendedasafacturalstatement(?)
Welcome to the new middle class, motherfucker.
Barack Obama is your stolen bicycle.
I thought you were kidding, but this website is real! Hilarious!
as you all kn ow, I live at the other end of 16th Street from the White House and seriously when you live that close some of this is true. I have flowers on my table right now- pretty sure Barack and Michelle sent them to me for Passover
That website tried to give me a virus. Careful.
Barack Obama Gave You A Virus.
But a certain Samaritan, as he traveled, came where he was. When he saw him, he stole his bicycle…
Mark Judge: "I had a well thought out attitude regarding race in the United States but then someone stole my bike and so I hate all black people."
Neither had the monks at the Dominican House of Studies on the corner.
Of course not, they're too busy riding the little boys in the neighborhood to ride a bicycle.
This reminds me of an old "joke" from my "salad days":
Q: What did the black kid get for Christmas?
A. The bike my white ass stole from you and gifted to him?
It was you?!
(By the way, how's yer nose?)
A: Toy potatoes.
Oh, no, wait.
That's "what did the *Irish* kid get for Christmas?"
Fuck you Pee Wee Herman.
And the article concludes with:
Mmmmm bacon.
It's like you were a fly on the wall.
Tucker Carlson doesn't need any more fat on his buttocks.
C'mon, Mark. Take the next step and tell us that the Jews are responsible for the recession.
Complete bullshit. Everyone knows godless liberals don't believe in prayer.
He meant to say that the liberal friend said that they should pray to Allah for the bike thief, but only after they aborted some fetuses.
Well, this explains it–here's this guy's bio on the Daily Holler:
Mark Judge is the author of A Tremor of Bliss: Sex, Catholicism, and Rock ‘n’ Roll.
Yeah, that combination is dangerous…some people can't handle all of that together…
I'd think it would be quite easy to handle all that together if you were one of them activist Judges.
I think the title ended up being truncated from "A Tremor of Blissful Unawareness of My Own Racism: Sex, Catholicism, Staying Out Of Those Neighborhoods, and Rock And Roll"
i probably shouldn't link on any of that shit at my new job, should i?
Got a job? Congrats!
thank you! 22 months i was out of anything but acting work. let me tell you, unemployment saved our lives.
now i am in evanston.
Good idea – the bosses generally don't like to hear screams coming out of the mouth of the newest employee. What are you doing to earn your Ameros?
I once had an Asian girlfriend. We broke up. I now believe we should nuke Japan. Again. Is this how you slowly lose your mind?
I had been carefully educated by liberal parents that we are all, black and white, the same. My favorite movie growing up was “In the Heat of the Night.” Yet that often meant not treating everyone the same. It meant treating blacks with a mixture of patronizing condescension and obsequious genuflecting to their Absolute Moral Authority gained from centuries of suffering. It meant not treating everyone the same.
Asshole, if you are treating people with condescension, by definition you are discriminating against them and are in fact a bigot. If you do not know the difference between recognizing the reality of racism in American history and society and obsequious genuflecting, you are not intelligent enough to be a writer.
The frightening thing is, this guy probably thinks that this paragraph makes sense…
That's how I felt when I saw The Blindside.
One of my favorite pre-release comments about that film was "Is this another one of those movies where the Angelic White People adopt some poor black slob and teach him how to use a spoon?" Summarizes everything I felt about that crapfest.
I had three bikes stolen in Beijing. Ergo, all Asian people are crazed ninja thieves.
Is that how this works?
No, because your bikes were probably stolen by blahs, and John Derbyshire could prove it.
his asian mail order bride can attest to this.
Well, the odds are very high that Mark Judge is a white guy, which means that thanks to this guy, I'm now convinced that all white people are bigots and fuckwits.
Thanks a lot, Mark Judge! You're personally responsible for my abrupt transformation into a militant black nationalist!
Outrageous. I mean, a guy like this gets his bike stolen, and the thief doesn't bother to steal his car too.
From Traitor Jim's article:
http://bit.ly/Iin5TN
Derb, you coulda just said: "Find a black friend, then you can say whatever racist shit about black people you want." I guess Derbs needed more than just one token blah to serve as "an amulet" against getting fired from NatRev.
Also, note how he immediately dismisses the possibility that someone from one of the surrounding businesses might be responsible.
Because, you see, Religious Folk (by which we mean Christians, only) would never, ever steal, lie, or cheat on their spouses.
So typically Republican. So-called journalist (Derbyshire) slanders an entire 'race' of people and this Daily Caller dweep makes it about him.
Shit, now I'm doing it – condemning all Republicans for the sentiments of one member. What? Of course he's Republican, he acted like an asshole.
There was exactly ONE black kid in my high school class of 1,200. My brother's bike got stolen out of the garage one day. The next summer, the whole house was burglarized. Dang, that was one busy black kid!
That Derbytingtonshire was let go is simply proof of how racist The National Review is, toward white people.
OK, here's my question: about nine years ago I was out riding my motorcycle when a white guy in a pickup truck ignored the right of way and ran into me. I spent eight weeks in a level one trauma center and walked out with a new set of crutches, the paperwork for a handicapped parking placard and without my left leg below the knee. A few years later I was out riding my bicycle when a white guy who wasn't paying attention ran into me and broke my wrist and my bicycle. Does this mean that I'm now allowed to go on a huge shooting spree and take out a bunch of white people? If so then how many?
Jesus Christ, if not you, then who?
Oh yeah, and the guy who went insane, shot his dad and holed up in the house behind mine with a bunch of guns in December of 1991 in Seattle, so I had the SWAT team camping out in my living room because my deck had the best view of this house, was also a white guy. Man, you fucking white people have it coming!
I don't know dude – once is a tragedy, twice is tragically bad luck – but three times? You may want to hold off on that killing spree … the life you save may be your own.
Pretty sure the real problem is this guy's ant helmet was tied on too tight…
I don't suppose this douchebag considered the possibility that it was a man in an ice cream truck.
Jim, should this be "attractive" instead of "unattractive" or "start" instead of "stop", or do I just not reed gud?
Fucking hell.
An all new season of "Antique Racism Show" is filming now! Bring out all your antediluvian, antebellum notions! Got some noxious views you've been keeping in the attic since "All In The Family"? Leading conservative online publications like The Daily Caller and Big Bigotry will pay handsomely for your ill-informed knickknacks!
I think my uncle has a massive N-word collection! I bet it's worth a fortune!
It’s a fucking valuable thing. You don’t just give it away for nothing. You've got this thing and it’s fucking golden. Don't just giving it up for fucking nothing.
"Then I walked around Brookland, the neighborhood around the Shrine, for an hour to see if I could spot it."
In Florida, the neighborhood watch captain would have simply shot the kids. End of problem.
Wait, there are still liberals who pray? Fuck that shit!
A white guy pulled a gun on me once. I didn't realize the appropriate response was to hate all white people. I'll work on that.
When I was a child, I had my bike stolen by white Northern Europeans – I've hated those Northern European bastards ever since.
Damn Visigoths.
Always a-rappin and a-pillagin' and shit.
Somebody stole your bike and you're making this big a hissy fit over it? What are you, 12? You live in a city, dipwad. what do you expect? Park that bike in any neighborhood of similar socio-economic strata and I bet it would get stolen regardless of the racial make up of the neighborhood. No insurance? You are a dope.
What moron leaves a bike in a bad neighborhood without a fucking lock? Why is no one asking that question?
"I don't think you should hide. If you hate blacks, let it out. It would be best for us all for conservatives to start being honest."
This is just the third comment.
I don't understand this comment at all. Since when have conservatives tried to (barely) hide their racism? And, oh yeah, they should just let the full extent of their racism show. That'll work out well for them.
It works for them every 2-4 years.
I never had a bicycle stolen, but I did have a pair of skis ripped off one time. I just don't know who to hate anymore.
AOTK?
That does simplify things.
I had a bunch of tools stolen out of my garage, so logically, I'd naturally blame black people, because they are also on this planet.
First of all, black people aren't smart, so they wouldn't know to steal things that are valuable — thanks to The Derb for this kind of racial insight. In addition, these were tools for doing work, ..so it couldn't be black people, because we all know they are so lazy.
So, logically, I think I will stop hiding my completely reasonable rage and anger towards the easily blameworthy Home Depot.
A couple of weeks ago someone stole my car. Now, I live in a neighborhood populated mostly by Hispanics and Koreans, but does that mean I immediately began hating all of my gook and wetback neighbors just because they are gooks and wetbacks? No, of course not. Chill out, Daily Caller guy.
And you're lucky the cops came out to take a report for your stupid bike. I had to take two buses to get to the police station to file a report because the LAPD wasn't going to send a car out. Public transportation! In L.A.! Unpossible!
Few have mentioned that the rag that published Derb's bile is a neo nazi periodical from the party the EU put in charge of Greece. Wonder why those kids are burning shit in the streets now?
Frodo and Master Samwise could not be forced by Halfling shame and guilt to leave the Derbyshire and join the war against Sauron, because of the criminality and violence to be found in the "culture" of Men. "Elves are two-faced, fucking liars, also!" Uncle Bilbo helpfully suggested.
When I was a student at the University of New Hampshire, I caught the flu and spent a few days in the infirmary. While I was there, someone stole my bike from the rack in front of my dorm. Could it have been the same person?
A month ago someone at Actors Equity, in NYC ,stole my brand new under-eye concealer that I had just bought from Sephora, I now hate all actors with bags under their eyes.
Ian McKellen libel!!
Apparently he didn't get the white IQ boost to go with his guilt.
Boy, if that isn't reason enough to institute a final solution, I don't know what is. But I'm glad I no longer feel guilty about it.
"I could be pretty certain that on Good Friday a member of the Little Sisters of the Poor, which is across the street from where I was parked, had not nicked my bike. Neither had the monks at the Dominican House of Studies on the corner."
NOW who's being naive?
Oh, if only this man had played Mike Tyson's Punch-Out more often…
"Derb" is the sound you make when you eat bad coleslaw.
BTW, the dude in the story? Yeah, if you believe he just "changed" his racial views after this incident, I got a bridge in Alaska to sell you. Disingenuos prig is disingenuous.
Dear Penthouse,
I never thought it would happen to me…
So how long before Tucker Carlspawn writes an editorial saying that the Wonketeers are blood libeling conservatives by calling them racists? Do you think it will be before or after a prominent conservative pens an article about the politically correct liberal conspiracy that has taken down Pat Buchanan, Rush Limbaugh and now John Derbyshire? Shit, it's been almost 24 hours since they kicked Derb to the Curb (or "Kerb" as they say in Britain) where's the impassioned defense including a
bullshit storyanecdote about how once a liberal said something bad about a blah or a woman or something exceedingly foolish and that this proves, QED, that all liberals are foolish, racist, sexists and that therefore John Derbyshire is the victim here?In my neighborhood we make fun of people who get their bike stolen because they left it out on the street. Seriously, the man is an all around idiot RWNJ. Especially for not asking the nuns who most likely knew exactly which Catholic kid took the bike and would have gotten it returned to him for a nice donation.
I went to college at Catholic University
Well, look who couldn't get admitted to Protestent University, motherfucker…
After looking at this mugshot (and many others preceding it) I'm beginning to think you really can judge a book by its cover.
Goddammit. Predominately? You don't make an adverb by adding 'ly' to a verb. It's predominantly, asshole.
Oh, yeah, and some kid stole my bike in DC, too. AND the radio out of my car. All it did was make me hate all teeenagers.
Dude spelled Brooklyn wrong.
Well, clearly no white person could possibly be unbiased. Louis Farrakhan?
And what kind of ribbon should the commission be?
Four blocks from 116th street? You live in the Polo Grounds?
Delete this, good lady. You have to keep some mystique (read: safety). You wouldn't want the troll-lurkers casing your building, would you?
On second thought I doubt the Polo Grounds came below 130th. I went to the last game of both the Giants and the Mets at the Polo Grounds and the first game of the Mets at Shea Stadium. Now I can’t remember a list of all the teams.
Black Friends Bureau!® We can be the founding partners! We'll be rollin' in it!
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