UNNATURAL DISASTERS  2:30 pm April 9, 2012

Hero Florida GOP Rep Lady Ruins All Barack Obama’s Martial Law Fun

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Off to the FEMA camp!Florida GOP Rep. Sandy Adams heard a thing on the Internet, and she will fight it with her very last breath! Is it that thing on the Internet about Girl Scouts = abortion? No it is not that one. Is it the one about Michelle Obama sexing up her unnamed Secret Service agent? No, that is not against the law yet! Is it this sad, dated thing about Barack Hussein NOBAMA declaring martial law? Yes, it is that one, and Sandy Adams — with an assist from Man of the Hour Allen West! — is here to do something about it!

As written, the executive order outlines the powers the president can exercise “in the event of a potential threat,” such as mobilizing for war. These range from the mundane, such as preparing disaster plans, to more robust authority that includes taking control of civil transportation and forcing U.S. companies to prioritize defense contracts.

But has all this been on the books for decades?

All this has been on the books for decades. Experts on national-security law say the big difference between what Obama signed and the version in place since President Bill Clinton was in office is reference to the Department of Homeland Security, which wasn’t around then.

But Sandy Adams, in her first term in Congress, is not having any of that nonsense, and she knows a FEMA Camp when Drudge tells her about one!

Adams, in a brief interview, said Obama’s order could unconstitutionally expand the president’s authority and cited as an example its inclusion of a section of the Stafford Act, which defines the government’s role in dealing with disasters.

“It is my first [term] in Congress. I know we are responsible for oversight,” she said.

But the section of the Stafford Act deals primarily with disaster preparation and training. In regard to civilian labor, it requires workers on construction projects be paid fair market wages and overtime if they work more than 40 hours in a week.

When asked how this could equate to civilians being forced into labor, an Adams spokeswoman said the congresswoman was trying to ensure there was “no misunderstanding as to the powers of the executive.”

That does not sound like she really answered the question, hmmmm! Almost as if there is no possible not-insane answer to this troublingly logical query! Meanwhile, Allen West and 36 others have cosponsored Sandy Adams’ not at all imaginary bill focused on a not at all imaginary problem. Because if Barack Obama can mandate a fair wage and overtime in the face of a national emergency, there is nothing the Jackbooted Thug In Chief cannot do! FREEDOM! [OrlandoSentinel]

 
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{ 132 comments }

nounverb911 April 9, 2012 at 2:32 pm

But it was okay when Bush did it.

Fare la Volpe April 9, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Natch. Bush was white Republican a Real American™.

Serolf_Divad April 9, 2012 at 3:19 pm

Bush did it for Freedom. Obama's doing it as part of his plan to institute a One World Atheistic Islamic UN Socialist Caliphate and replace the dollar with the Amero.

BIG DIFFERENCE!

GOPCrusher April 9, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Let the black helicopters sooaaaaarrrr!

rickmaci April 9, 2012 at 3:21 pm

If only Obama would change his name to George Bush! The TeaTards are pathologically unable to oppose anything being fronted by George Bush.

Steverino247 April 9, 2012 at 2:34 pm

You know who else was a stupid blonde woman from Florida…

nounverb911 April 9, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Joan Blondel?

Lascauxcaveman April 9, 2012 at 3:10 pm

LOTTIE LIBEL!!

sharethegrief April 9, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Rick Scott???

ManchuCandidate April 9, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Girls Gone Wild!

Lucidamente1 April 9, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Steve Doocy?

BaldarTFlagass April 9, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Katherine Harris? Oh, wait, brunette. Sorry.

Callyson April 9, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Show us the roots!

Not_So_Much April 9, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Nobody cared about her hair. Kittie's titties or gtfo.

actor212 April 9, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Marla Maples?

alternatively All of them, Katie

weejee April 9, 2012 at 2:53 pm

Mark Foley?

Radio福井県 April 9, 2012 at 2:53 pm

Anita Bryant

DonnyKerabotsos April 9, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Gretchen Carlson? No, she's from Minnesota, Heather Childers, maybe. Oh, what about Megyn Kylly? Monica Crowley? He stupidity is more authentic than her blondness. Laura Ingrham? Oh, I know, Martha McCallum. No? Dana Perino? Am I getting warm?

Shannon Bream? Please….I've barely scraped the barrel…

All of them, Katie?

Serolf_Divad April 9, 2012 at 3:20 pm

Rene Magritte?

GOPCrusher April 9, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Ann Coulter. Oh wait, you said woman.

An_Outhouse April 9, 2012 at 3:58 pm

that stupid blonde woman who keeps getting lost?

SayItWithWookies April 9, 2012 at 4:32 pm

Joe Scarborough's intern?

nounverb911 April 9, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Needs more Category 5 hurricanes.

ManchuCandidate April 9, 2012 at 2:35 pm

I'm quite surprised they didn'tl blame this all on the following:
1) Feminists and their bra burning ways
2) The Freemasons
3) The Jews
4) Josef Stalin
5) Judas
6) The Blacks
7) The Mulatos
8) The Quadroons
9) The Game of Life
10) Rand Corp
11) Aliens
12) Reverse Vampires

AlaskaGrrl April 9, 2012 at 2:39 pm

That was implied. Right after "That Black Man".

Deportably_Jose April 9, 2012 at 2:57 pm

You forgot the Trilateralists, Bildeburgers and Lizard People. Oh wait, you did already say "Jews".

rickmaci April 9, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Give them time. They'll eventually get around to it.

Serolf_Divad April 9, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Come on, Manchu… you know Barack Obama answers to ALL OF THEM!

MaxNeanderthal April 9, 2012 at 4:17 pm

The Octaroons?

extreme_left April 9, 2012 at 4:49 pm

poop decks?

BTWBFDIMHO April 9, 2012 at 2:36 pm

Melanie Griffith?

Grief_Lessons April 9, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Next thing you know they'll be fluoridating the water

Blueb4sunrise April 9, 2012 at 2:45 pm

That's Floridating.

blah_school April 9, 2012 at 2:49 pm

I think we should Floridate other people

actor212 April 9, 2012 at 2:52 pm

That's Singles Night in Century Village.

Blueb4sunrise April 9, 2012 at 2:57 pm

"Take out yer teeth ,Gladys."

SorosBot April 9, 2012 at 2:55 pm

And taking our precious bodily fluids.

OkieDokieDog April 9, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Gee, and I was hoping that this would be the craziest thing I read today : "Who would have guessed that when they crossed over the county line of Dallas, 12 tornadoes exploded," Engle cried. "And no deaths!"
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/lou-engle-t

I'm guessing he was disappointed that his god didn't kill a couple of pregnant women and/or babies, cause his god "rolls" like that.

Fare la Volpe April 9, 2012 at 2:48 pm

For fuck's sake.

sharethegrief April 9, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Joplin was the epicenter. You could get a drive-thru abortion before last spring.

Jus_Wonderin April 9, 2012 at 3:18 pm

God was just interested in real estate this time.

McDonnellville April 9, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Like VA doesn't already have an ample supply of religious lunacy.

AlaskaGrrl April 9, 2012 at 2:38 pm

How do these people even get themselves dressed in the morning? God, the stupid just goes on and on.

MaxNeanderthal April 9, 2012 at 4:18 pm

More to the point, how do they find their way to their workplace? Do they have directions tattooed on the inside of their eyelids?

OneDollarJuana April 9, 2012 at 2:40 pm

FEMA Camp, shmema camp. A Republican knows a concentration camp when they sees one. To paraphrase the Mercedes ad, "we invented them".

DerrickWildcat April 9, 2012 at 2:41 pm

I think it would be a good thing if everyone had to learn kung fu. This way if North Korea attacked us, we could fight back.

BaldarTFlagass April 9, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Shoot, I couldn't even get through the pre-lesson stretching exercises. Win to PRNK.

mavenmaven April 9, 2012 at 3:01 pm

Taikwando, perhaps, the Korean martial arts. Kung fu didn't do the Chinese one bit of good when the Japanese invaded them.

BaldarTFlagass April 9, 2012 at 3:06 pm

That's because Kwai Chang Caine had already emigrated to the US to build the railroads or open a laundry or something.

Rotundo_ April 9, 2012 at 3:22 pm

But then he died due to a sexual misadventure, you'd think Kung fu would have some sort of way around hanging yourself while whacking off….

Serolf_Divad April 9, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Bah, that was just an extreme Yoga exercise that allowed him to reach a higher plane of consciousness… forever.

mavenmaven April 9, 2012 at 4:22 pm

to think, he used to be so good at playing the "flute"

Beowoof April 9, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Even better we could pay the Chinese to teach us so Wall Street will be happy.

extreme_left April 9, 2012 at 4:52 pm

I don't know, NK missile technology is coming along in leaps and bounds..they have three telephones ffs.
http://resources3.news.com.au/images/2012/04/09/1
..aaand more than one video projector!

Baconzgood April 9, 2012 at 2:42 pm

"First term republican" I put in a call to Webster's. They agree that "first term republican" is officially a synonym for "bat shit crazy".

ManchuCandidate April 9, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Or "REAL Fucking Stupid."

starfanglednut April 9, 2012 at 6:36 pm

All of them.

elviouslyqueer April 9, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Adams denies any political motivation and said she was doing her duty to uphold the U.S. Constitution.

Oh right, like Rep. Adams has actually read the Constitution.

ManchuCandidate April 9, 2012 at 2:46 pm

It's more like can she spell "constitution"?

GOPCrusher April 9, 2012 at 3:52 pm

Duty to uphold the U.S. Constitution=Hasn't been around long enough to rake in some sweet, sweet, lobbyist caysh.

cotugirl April 9, 2012 at 6:36 pm

Wait, it's not read it's if she could READ/COMPREHEND it!

Stevola April 9, 2012 at 7:37 pm

Didn't they read parts of it to her? The parts they liked?

mrblifil April 9, 2012 at 2:44 pm

"Responsible for oversight?" So I guess this makes her some sort of overseer or something…

pdiddycornchips April 9, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Praise be to Jeebus! If not for the GOP Reps in Florida, we'll all be sent to labor camps and forced to ghey marry our bunkmates. Seriously, who votes for these people? I mean, I've watched Swamp People but I've always figured those guys were not a fair representation. I'm beginning to think those swamp folks are their best and brightest.

smrtmnky April 9, 2012 at 2:46 pm

but the martial law hoodie would look fabulous on barry o!

Beowoof April 9, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Is it this the one

comrad_darkness April 9, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Blahkity blahk blahk blahk!

blah_school April 9, 2012 at 2:46 pm

does that mean we're just one national tragedy away from gainful employment?

bureaucrap April 9, 2012 at 2:47 pm

PREVAILING WAGE + OVERTIME = SLAVERY!!!!

Remember, they call those states "right to work" for a reason. You have the right to work for whatever Massa chooses to pay you.

BaldarTFlagass April 9, 2012 at 2:47 pm

“It is my first [term] in Congress."

And hopefully your last.

pdiddycornchips April 9, 2012 at 4:02 pm

“It is my first [term] in Congress."

So I'm trying to get up to speed on how things work.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_TI8xqLl_-w

actor212 April 9, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Sandy Adams?

Looks more like Sandy Crotch

WhatTheHeck April 9, 2012 at 2:48 pm

The FEMA camps are actually Girl Scout camps for the birth controls, abortions, etc.

Lucidamente1 April 9, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Rep. Adams added, "And I have it on good authority that President Obama said when signing the order 'I'm your worst fuckin' nightmare, man. I'm a nigger with a badge which means I got permission to kick your fuckin' ass whenever I feel like it!'"

ifthethunderdontgetya April 9, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Meanwhile, Allen West and 36 others have cosponsored Sandy Adams’ not at all imaginary bill focused on a not at all imaginary problem.

And here I was, hoping they'd somehow decided to repeal the USA PATRIOT Act.

No such luck, as always. Guess I'll go back to playing Lotto, or whatever the kids are calling it these days.
~

actor212 April 9, 2012 at 2:49 pm

In regard to civilian labor, [The Stafford Act] requires workers on construction projects be paid fair market wages and overtime if they work more than 40 hours in a week.

Well, I can certainly see how this could be construed as imminent tyranny and throwing people into FEMA camps.

finallyhappy April 9, 2012 at 3:00 pm

please give my son that job- and send him to FEMA camp

Sophist[Kochblocker] April 9, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Aww, and I was getting my liberal jackboots all nice and polished too.

Maman April 9, 2012 at 2:50 pm

So the President can be President so long as he isn't allowed to do Presidential things. Perfect.

Makinglifehell April 9, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Post-partisan politicking at its finest. Also, the sheriff is a ni…(bong).

gullywompr April 9, 2012 at 2:53 pm

White people in Florida are always looking out for our civil rights.

YasserArraFeck April 9, 2012 at 2:54 pm

I wouldn't let this dingbat be responsible for goldfish, let alone "oversight"

BaldarTFlagass April 9, 2012 at 3:15 pm

Your move, Herman Cain TV Ad with evil little girl.

Extemporanus April 9, 2012 at 2:54 pm

"Well, all I hear all day long in Congress is how great martial law is at this or how wonderful martial law did that…

Martial, martial, martial!"

FraAnima April 9, 2012 at 3:16 pm

Now, Jan, play nice.

Gleem McShineys April 9, 2012 at 6:08 pm

Will one of the President's balls fly in and hit her in the nose?

Allmighty_Manos April 9, 2012 at 2:55 pm

If Congress made sure all legislation is written in comic-book panels, we could avoid this kind of confusion.

valthemus April 9, 2012 at 2:55 pm

The GOP knows what Joe 6-pack wants, and he wants Crazy, by jingo! I mean… just look at those Jackass movies and reality teevee an' stuff. The GOP serves up what America craves!

GOPCrusher April 9, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Eric Cantor as special guest contestant on this week's Ow! My balls!

mavenmaven April 9, 2012 at 2:56 pm

Cheney's henchmen are already closing in on her house…

SorosBot April 9, 2012 at 2:57 pm

What we need is a president who doesn't go in for preparing for disasters, and lets an American city drown while the feds do nothing until long after the fact.

actor212 April 9, 2012 at 3:06 pm

Yea, better he should learn gui-tar.

MissTaken April 9, 2012 at 3:14 pm

It's good when a city drowns, all the bad people float to the top so you know who's a witch!

Boojum April 9, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Or a duck.

actor212 April 9, 2012 at 4:40 pm

But hang on now, I'm confused: Blah people are the problem in inner cities, but as…well, some ignert asshat…pointed out, blahs can't swim, so how does that work???

BaldarTFlagass April 9, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Where does the Tea Party find these people? Yeesh.

actor212 April 9, 2012 at 3:06 pm

Look under any rock…

RedneckMuslin April 9, 2012 at 3:00 pm

What does George Zimmerman's father think about it?

BaldarTFlagass April 9, 2012 at 3:02 pm

I got paid time-and-a-half for every hour over 40 I worked (for the govt, no less) in Afghanistan, and I usually put in 84 hours a week while there. Damn that tyrant George Bush!!!

actor212 April 9, 2012 at 3:07 pm

How many hours did you have to work to buy the jackboots?

BaldarTFlagass April 9, 2012 at 3:16 pm

They were provided at no charge. Along with my own personal Predator drone with Hellfire missiles.

weejee April 9, 2012 at 3:05 pm

OT

Ginger Jim Newell has a piece over at the Saloon about "John Derbyshire, racist hack, gets canned."

Chet Kincaid April 9, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Nicely done, Ginger Jim!

Doktor StrangeZoom April 9, 2012 at 5:34 pm

Oh, that was quite good indeed.

Read the comments section on any conservative pundit’s denunciation, and you’ll still see stunning near-uniformity about how Derbyshire’s screed made perfectly accurate points that we all know are true and needed to be made if this country is to survive.

The problem is much bigger than any one Derb.

QFFT

Dr_Zoidberg April 9, 2012 at 3:06 pm

You know, amoebas can only hope to achieve the level of un-awareness exhibited by your average Repub politician.

fuflans April 9, 2012 at 3:08 pm

well at least she has a big ass flag behind her.

MissTaken April 9, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Yes, paying fair wages and overtime is totally like martial law. Oh fucking god, they'll probably get federally mandated health-care, too!

BaldarTFlagass April 9, 2012 at 3:17 pm

And OSHA safety inspectors at the jobsite! Heaven forfend!!

FakaktaSouth April 9, 2012 at 3:13 pm

Can somebody sponsor a bill that says you have to pass a basic civics class to run for office? Or maybe a vocabulary test to see if they know what words they don't read mean? An IQ Test? This is another of those times that makes me understand the origins of the Electoral College.

starfanglednut April 9, 2012 at 6:42 pm

It is richly ironic how many elected, teabagging, save teh constitooshun elected officials would flunk US citizenship tests.

ElPinche April 9, 2012 at 3:14 pm

http://gifs.gifbin.com/florida.gif

Need one for making Arizona Bay , too.

MissTaken April 9, 2012 at 3:16 pm

Remember when crazed, conspiracy theorists were only in chat rooms in the dark corners of the internet where they could do no real harm? I miss those days.

Tundra Grifter April 9, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Heck, I remember when people walking down the street talking to themselves were just crazy – not techno-junkies shouting into their Bluetooth earpieces.

OneYieldRegular April 9, 2012 at 3:16 pm

When you're a white, black, Christian, Muslim, communist, fascist, Kenya-born, Hawai'i-born, pro-business, anti-business, constitutional law expert trampler of the constitution, it's difficult not to get blamed/praised for everything/nothing.

glamourdammerung April 9, 2012 at 3:35 pm

I blame the media for this. After all, that "liberal media" simply does not call out these morons for the gullible cretins they are whenever they pull this type of stupidity.

WiscDad April 9, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Bet she's OK with the martial law in Sanford supplied by the Detroit Civil Riots Group

GOPCrusher April 9, 2012 at 3:59 pm

Those aren't swastikas! Those are Hindu good luck symbols!

snoopyfan2010 April 9, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Because Karma will get you in the end.

starfanglednut April 9, 2012 at 6:43 pm

Ain't dat duh truth, snoop.

Tundra Grifter April 9, 2012 at 3:45 pm

So I return from a few days off (no computer, no problem) and find in my Inbox a forwarded chain-email with "Re: Fwd: Fw: Fw: Fwd: Free speech taken away, new law signed secretly by Obama" in the subject line.

Figuring it's just another one of those conservative lies the AOL users are circulating to one and all on the Internets I read it, then do a little "research" to prove it is a lie.

I read the Slate article about this and to my horror I learn it really isn't another Big Right Wing Nutz' Lie!

Bad first day back…

pdiddycornchips April 9, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Slate, the most trusted name in beltway approved bullshit.

Chet Kincaid April 9, 2012 at 3:53 pm

Orlando Rep. Adams? Can't Dwight Howard just get the bitch fired?

GOPCrusher April 9, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Heh heh heh!

Wile E. Quixote April 9, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Both of these fucktards Allen West and Sandy Adams, both voted for the Defense Authorization Bill of 2012.. In case you don't recall that's the bill that did away with the fourth amendment. Too bad that no one in the media will call these fucktards on their votes to do away with the fourth amendment but will give them space to rant about bullshit like this.

GOPCrusher April 9, 2012 at 4:03 pm

Bachmann-Not voting

orygoon April 9, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Embedded link to Michelle O's supposed steamy affair with an SS agent has a lot of just terribly embittered comment. No clicky unless you are in dire need of a vomit and a shower.

Troglodeity April 9, 2012 at 6:12 pm

I like Betty White's new hairstyle.

Barrelhse April 9, 2012 at 6:44 pm

A ditzy blonde legislator with zipper burns around her mouth and West's pecker tracks all over her tongue- are we in Florida!

owhatever April 9, 2012 at 7:15 pm

Now in her first term, but on her third husband, our brave congresswoman dropped out of high school but later got her GED before going to a special college that requires no admission exam. Her extraordinary biography points out that while a deputy sheriff, she performed oversight on pawn shops, so she knows her oversight. Florida voters have repeatedly elected her to public office. Incredible. Sometime, you cannot outsnark the truth.

Negropolis April 10, 2012 at 2:10 am

It is my first [term] in Congress.

So glad you let us in on this. Otherwise, we'd have never known. **eyeroll**

Again, let's file this under 'Cause It'd Be Irresponsible Not to Speculate.

ttommyunger April 10, 2012 at 8:48 am

Two possibilities: either this ignorant cunt had her election rigged for her or: voters in Florida are stupid enough to actually vote her into office. Both are disturbing to the Nth degree.

labman57 April 10, 2012 at 11:40 am

Anti-intellectualism rears its ugly head once again.

This is what the conservative movement has become reduced to — relying on supposition, innuendo, supermarket rag gossip, petty insults and snarky one-liners, thinly veiled threats of violence, baseless fear-mongering, and demagoguery to fill the void created by their inability to do their homework, understand and accept scientific findings, learn from history (real history, not the revised nonsense that Beck, Bachmann, and others describe), and discuss substantive matters in a civil, rational manner.

Yep, we certainly don't want our national leaders to be eloquent, scientifically literate, and generally well-informed about the world in which we live. Much better to derive scientific theories based on the teachings of the Bible, and to form national public policy based on the rumors, gossip, and unverified anecdotal accounts described in supermarket rags and online blogs.

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