unnatural disasters

Hero Florida GOP Rep Lady Ruins All Barack Obama’s Martial Law Fun

Off to the FEMA camp!Florida GOP Rep. Sandy Adams heard a thing on the Internet, and she will fight it with her very last breath! Is it that thing on the Internet about Girl Scouts = abortion? No it is not that one. Is it the one about Michelle Obama sexing up her unnamed Secret Service agent? No, that is not against the law yet! Is it this sad, dated thing about Barack Hussein NOBAMA declaring martial law? Yes, it is that one, and Sandy Adams — with an assist from Man of the Hour Allen West! — is here to do something about it!

As written, the executive order outlines the powers the president can exercise “in the event of a potential threat,” such as mobilizing for war. These range from the mundane, such as preparing disaster plans, to more robust authority that includes taking control of civil transportation and forcing U.S. companies to prioritize defense contracts.

But has all this been on the books for decades?

All this has been on the books for decades. Experts on national-security law say the big difference between what Obama signed and the version in place since President Bill Clinton was in office is reference to the Department of Homeland Security, which wasn’t around then.

But Sandy Adams, in her first term in Congress, is not having any of that nonsense, and she knows a FEMA Camp when Drudge tells her about one!

Adams, in a brief interview, said Obama’s order could unconstitutionally expand the president’s authority and cited as an example its inclusion of a section of the Stafford Act, which defines the government’s role in dealing with disasters.

“It is my first [term] in Congress. I know we are responsible for oversight,” she said.

But the section of the Stafford Act deals primarily with disaster preparation and training. In regard to civilian labor, it requires workers on construction projects be paid fair market wages and overtime if they work more than 40 hours in a week.

When asked how this could equate to civilians being forced into labor, an Adams spokeswoman said the congresswoman was trying to ensure there was “no misunderstanding as to the powers of the executive.”

That does not sound like she really answered the question, hmmmm! Almost as if there is no possible not-insane answer to this troublingly logical query! Meanwhile, Allen West and 36 others have cosponsored Sandy Adams’ not at all imaginary bill focused on a not at all imaginary problem. Because if Barack Obama can mandate a fair wage and overtime in the face of a national emergency, there is nothing the Jackbooted Thug In Chief cannot do! FREEDOM! [OrlandoSentinel]

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Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

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    1. Serolf_Divad

      Bush did it for Freedom. Obama's doing it as part of his plan to institute a One World Atheistic Islamic UN Socialist Caliphate and replace the dollar with the Amero.


    2. rickmaci

      If only Obama would change his name to George Bush! The TeaTards are pathologically unable to oppose anything being fronted by George Bush.

    1. DonnyKerabotsos

      Gretchen Carlson? No, she's from Minnesota, Heather Childers, maybe. Oh, what about Megyn Kylly? Monica Crowley? He stupidity is more authentic than her blondness. Laura Ingrham? Oh, I know, Martha McCallum. No? Dana Perino? Am I getting warm?

      Shannon Bream? Please….I've barely scraped the barrel…

      All of them, Katie?

  1. ManchuCandidate

    I'm quite surprised they didn'tl blame this all on the following:
    1) Feminists and their bra burning ways
    2) The Freemasons
    3) The Jews
    4) Josef Stalin
    5) Judas
    6) The Blacks
    7) The Mulatos
    8) The Quadroons
    9) The Game of Life
    10) Rand Corp
    11) Aliens
    12) Reverse Vampires

  2. OkieDokieDog

    Gee, and I was hoping that this would be the craziest thing I read today : "Who would have guessed that when they crossed over the county line of Dallas, 12 tornadoes exploded," Engle cried. "And no deaths!"

    I'm guessing he was disappointed that his god didn't kill a couple of pregnant women and/or babies, cause his god "rolls" like that.

    1. sharethegrief

      Joplin was the epicenter. You could get a drive-thru abortion before last spring.

  3. AlaskaGrrl

    How do these people even get themselves dressed in the morning? God, the stupid just goes on and on.

    1. MaxNeanderthal

      More to the point, how do they find their way to their workplace? Do they have directions tattooed on the inside of their eyelids?

  4. OneDollarJuana

    FEMA Camp, shmema camp. A Republican knows a concentration camp when they sees one. To paraphrase the Mercedes ad, "we invented them".

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      Shoot, I couldn't even get through the pre-lesson stretching exercises. Win to PRNK.

    2. mavenmaven

      Taikwando, perhaps, the Korean martial arts. Kung fu didn't do the Chinese one bit of good when the Japanese invaded them.

      1. BaldarTFlagass

        That's because Kwai Chang Caine had already emigrated to the US to build the railroads or open a laundry or something.

        1. Rotundo_

          But then he died due to a sexual misadventure, you'd think Kung fu would have some sort of way around hanging yourself while whacking off….

          1. Serolf_Divad

            Bah, that was just an extreme Yoga exercise that allowed him to reach a higher plane of consciousness… forever.

  5. Baconzgood

    "First term republican" I put in a call to Webster's. They agree that "first term republican" is officially a synonym for "bat shit crazy".

  6. elviouslyqueer

    Adams denies any political motivation and said she was doing her duty to uphold the U.S. Constitution.

    Oh right, like Rep. Adams has actually read the Constitution.

    1. GOPCrusher

      Duty to uphold the U.S. Constitution=Hasn't been around long enough to rake in some sweet, sweet, lobbyist caysh.

    1. pdiddycornchips

      Praise be to Jeebus! If not for the GOP Reps in Florida, we'll all be sent to labor camps and forced to ghey marry our bunkmates. Seriously, who votes for these people? I mean, I've watched Swamp People but I've always figured those guys were not a fair representation. I'm beginning to think those swamp folks are their best and brightest.

  7. bureaucrap


    Remember, they call those states "right to work" for a reason. You have the right to work for whatever Massa chooses to pay you.

  8. WhatTheHeck

    The FEMA camps are actually Girl Scout camps for the birth controls, abortions, etc.

  9. Lucidamente1

    Rep. Adams added, "And I have it on good authority that President Obama said when signing the order 'I'm your worst fuckin' nightmare, man. I'm a nigger with a badge which means I got permission to kick your fuckin' ass whenever I feel like it!'"

  10. ifthethunderdontgetya

    Meanwhile, Allen West and 36 others have cosponsored Sandy Adams’ not at all imaginary bill focused on a not at all imaginary problem.

    And here I was, hoping they'd somehow decided to repeal the USA PATRIOT Act.

    No such luck, as always. Guess I'll go back to playing Lotto, or whatever the kids are calling it these days.

  11. actor212

    In regard to civilian labor, [The Stafford Act] requires workers on construction projects be paid fair market wages and overtime if they work more than 40 hours in a week.

    Well, I can certainly see how this could be construed as imminent tyranny and throwing people into FEMA camps.

  12. Extemporanus

    "Well, all I hear all day long in Congress is how great martial law is at this or how wonderful martial law did that…

    Martial, martial, martial!"

  13. Allmighty_Manos

    If Congress made sure all legislation is written in comic-book panels, we could avoid this kind of confusion.

  14. valthemus

    The GOP knows what Joe 6-pack wants, and he wants Crazy, by jingo! I mean… just look at those Jackass movies and reality teevee an' stuff. The GOP serves up what America craves!

  15. SorosBot

    What we need is a president who doesn't go in for preparing for disasters, and lets an American city drown while the feds do nothing until long after the fact.

    1. MissTaken

      It's good when a city drowns, all the bad people float to the top so you know who's a witch!

      1. actor212

        But hang on now, I'm confused: Blah people are the problem in inner cities, but as…well, some ignert asshat…pointed out, blahs can't swim, so how does that work???

  16. BaldarTFlagass

    I got paid time-and-a-half for every hour over 40 I worked (for the govt, no less) in Afghanistan, and I usually put in 84 hours a week while there. Damn that tyrant George Bush!!!

      1. BaldarTFlagass

        They were provided at no charge. Along with my own personal Predator drone with Hellfire missiles.

    1. Doktor StrangeZoom

      Oh, that was quite good indeed.

      Read the comments section on any conservative pundit’s denunciation, and you’ll still see stunning near-uniformity about how Derbyshire’s screed made perfectly accurate points that we all know are true and needed to be made if this country is to survive.

      The problem is much bigger than any one Derb.


  17. Dr_Zoidberg

    You know, amoebas can only hope to achieve the level of un-awareness exhibited by your average Repub politician.

  18. MissTaken

    Yes, paying fair wages and overtime is totally like martial law. Oh fucking god, they'll probably get federally mandated health-care, too!

  19. FakaktaSouth

    Can somebody sponsor a bill that says you have to pass a basic civics class to run for office? Or maybe a vocabulary test to see if they know what words they don't read mean? An IQ Test? This is another of those times that makes me understand the origins of the Electoral College.

  20. MissTaken

    Remember when crazed, conspiracy theorists were only in chat rooms in the dark corners of the internet where they could do no real harm? I miss those days.

    1. Tundra Grifter

      Heck, I remember when people walking down the street talking to themselves were just crazy – not techno-junkies shouting into their Bluetooth earpieces.

  21. OneYieldRegular

    When you're a white, black, Christian, Muslim, communist, fascist, Kenya-born, Hawai'i-born, pro-business, anti-business, constitutional law expert trampler of the constitution, it's difficult not to get blamed/praised for everything/nothing.

  22. glamourdammerung

    I blame the media for this. After all, that "liberal media" simply does not call out these morons for the gullible cretins they are whenever they pull this type of stupidity.

  23. WiscDad

    Bet she's OK with the martial law in Sanford supplied by the Detroit Civil Riots Group

  24. Tundra Grifter

    So I return from a few days off (no computer, no problem) and find in my Inbox a forwarded chain-email with "Re: Fwd: Fw: Fw: Fwd: Free speech taken away, new law signed secretly by Obama" in the subject line.

    Figuring it's just another one of those conservative lies the AOL users are circulating to one and all on the Internets I read it, then do a little "research" to prove it is a lie.

    I read the Slate article about this and to my horror I learn it really isn't another Big Right Wing Nutz' Lie!

    Bad first day back…

  25. orygoon

    Embedded link to Michelle O's supposed steamy affair with an SS agent has a lot of just terribly embittered comment. No clicky unless you are in dire need of a vomit and a shower.

  26. Barrelhse

    A ditzy blonde legislator with zipper burns around her mouth and West's pecker tracks all over her tongue- are we in Florida!

  27. owhatever

    Now in her first term, but on her third husband, our brave congresswoman dropped out of high school but later got her GED before going to a special college that requires no admission exam. Her extraordinary biography points out that while a deputy sheriff, she performed oversight on pawn shops, so she knows her oversight. Florida voters have repeatedly elected her to public office. Incredible. Sometime, you cannot outsnark the truth.

  28. Negropolis

    It is my first [term] in Congress.

    So glad you let us in on this. Otherwise, we'd have never known. **eyeroll**

    Again, let's file this under 'Cause It'd Be Irresponsible Not to Speculate.

  29. ttommyunger

    Two possibilities: either this ignorant cunt had her election rigged for her or: voters in Florida are stupid enough to actually vote her into office. Both are disturbing to the Nth degree.

  30. labman57

    Anti-intellectualism rears its ugly head once again.

    This is what the conservative movement has become reduced to — relying on supposition, innuendo, supermarket rag gossip, petty insults and snarky one-liners, thinly veiled threats of violence, baseless fear-mongering, and demagoguery to fill the void created by their inability to do their homework, understand and accept scientific findings, learn from history (real history, not the revised nonsense that Beck, Bachmann, and others describe), and discuss substantive matters in a civil, rational manner.

    Yep, we certainly don't want our national leaders to be eloquent, scientifically literate, and generally well-informed about the world in which we live. Much better to derive scientific theories based on the teachings of the Bible, and to form national public policy based on the rumors, gossip, and unverified anecdotal accounts described in supermarket rags and online blogs.

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